Original subtitles

Please stand by for test 123

in T-minus ten.

I repeat, T-minus ten.

Dr. Lorre, what are you doing?

I need to get a message out.

I know too much.

They're not going to let us leave.

I'm sending for help.

Everything is going to be okay, my little Tweety.

I promise.

There he is! Go!

You can jump, or we can push you.

Someday the truth will be known.

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Everyone, what's that thing in the sky?

I don't know. I'll just shoot it down.

Lock on target. Clear to engage.

Oh $#@!!!!

Beep beep.

Beep beep.

Have you gotten into a catapult

hoping to be gently and sensibly flown

to a destination of your choosing,

only to be violently pile-drived

face-first into the ground?

Have you ever set a big stack of TNT on the road

hoping to blow up your nemesis,

but when you press the detonator,

the detonator itself explodes?

Have you ever pulled the ripcord of your parachute

and only a bunch of silverware comes out?

It's not your fault.

There's probably someone to blame.

We'll be your voice.

Avery. - Jones.

Maltese. - Justice!

Two for Tuesdays.

Yes, thank you. I'd like to order some...

fli... fl...

Lilacs.

Hey, wrecking ball smash.

I could probably get you 250 bucks for that.

See you next week.

Thank you for calling

Avery, Jones & Maltese.

If you've been hit by an anvil, press one.

If you've been electrocuted, press two.

If you've been crushed by a falling piano, press three.

Good morning. - It's almost 3:00.

Good morning, Dottie. - Not now.

Do they have the paperwork... - Sal?

Hey, Kev. You sleep in that suit again?

Good eye.

I've been waiting for you.

Hi. I have found some catastrophic fires,

coincidentally all near match factories,

and I really think it's a great opportunity to help

a lot of people with one case.

How long is this internship again?

Three more months, just enough time to really

dig in and make a difference.

You know, you really remind me

of when I was fresh out of law school.

And I mean that in the worst possible way.

And I will take that as a compliment...

Oh, no, look, you got this.

I'm gonna do you a favor, because you're my niece

and I want you to have a happy life.

Stop.

At Oxford... - I have a feeling

I'm gonna be hearing that phrase a lot.

At Oxford, they really stress the importance of the law

on everyday lives, and all you're really

having me do right now is brainstorm ideas

for your billboards. - Yeah.

You're new here, so you don't know that

this file goes right over here.

And that, my friend, is freedom.

I really wanna pick it up. - No, no, no, no, no.

And I really wanna file it alphabetically.

No, you will not. Please.

You've got a new client in the conference room.

He seems unhinged. Good luck.

Mr. Coyote?

K-Yote... Ca-yote?

All right, well, How can I help you?

Oh, one of my billboards.

Cost a lot of money to put those up.

So you've been in an accident?

Do you not talk?

Oh, but you have signs.

I don't, uh, understand.

All right.

Is that supposed to be you? And, uh, who's that?

Uh, okay. What do you...

Not entirely necessary to do all that, but okay.

So, seems like we're talking about

some faulty rocket skates that backfired when you were

trying to capture a bird that you have

some sort of sordid history with?

So do you have the rocket skates?

Okay, great.

So we're gonna write in your name as the plaintiff.

Then we'll say we're asking for, I don't know, $300?

300 and here we'll write in the name of the company

that made the skates.

Let me guess. Acme?

But they're great to deal with for little stuff like this.

We just drop your skates in a box, type up a complaint,

and boom, you're the richest Coyote in the country.

All I need is a signature. Or you just wanna lick it,

that's probably fine, too. There we go.

Uh, what, uh...

Wait. Mr. Coyote. Hey, somebody grab that guy.

Mr. Coyote. Look, I just need you to sign.

It's an Acme stapler?

Yes, that is how staplers work.

Oh, God.

Okay, I get it, there are problems

with Acme's cartoon products.

I see it all the time.

I mean, I'm surprised Acme makes my phone in my car.

Why would they also make this?

This is just silly stuff for cartoons.

You know, what's the worst that could really happen?

They see some birds whipping around their heads.

Well, it doesn't seem that silly to me.

Paige, this is a run-of-the-mill

$300 rocket skate case, trust me.

And doesn't that mean that's a pile of $300 cases?

Paige, come on. Do you know what would happen

if we submitted all this stuff as evidence together?

We'd have a giant lawsuit on our hands.

That would... That would be amazing.

And if you could prove a causal connection,

then really, the sky's the limit.

The sky is not the limit, all right?

The limit is, like, right here.

We don't do massive cases. We do quick and easy. Right?

Where'd all the stuff go?

So, Mr. Coyote, my professional opinion

is that this case is worth,

you know, a few hundred dollars.

And I can see if they'll replace

the rocket skates, so I need you to sign this.

Rude. All right, well, it was nice meeting you.

Do you mind putting the evidence box into the system?

I'm going to lunch.

Here you go. Into evidence, please.

All right, what do we got here?

Jeez, someone's suing for a lot.

This is where we're gonna hit the...

Oh! Excuse me.

Cartoon products cases go down to the basement.

Governor, these threats...

they're tantamount to blackmail.

The law's completely on our side here.

'Cause we wrote the law.

Yeah. Okay, great to catch up.

You better be straightening away on the Plapinger case.

Oh, it's done. Let's just say

his next vacation will be in prison.

But I got something else.

Cartoon case? Basement.

Yeah, I think you need to see this one.

They're suing us for every Acme cartoon product.

Who?

I wasn't familiar with the name.

Look, just pay me the money you owe me,

or I'll sue you for breach of contract.

Okay, I gotta go. I'll call you later, Mom.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't our resident hotshot.

What does that mean?

Serving Acme for every one of their cartoon products?

Yeah, right.

Do I look like the guy

who would take on the biggest corporation in the world?

You're looking at the guy who is taking on

the biggest corporation in the world.

Channel 4 News has just learned

that papers were filed today against the Acme Corporation.

Buddy Crane, Acme's chief legal counsel,

declined to comment.

How did this happen?

It's okay. It's okay. It's exciting.

All eyes on you, ready to show them what you got.

Paige, when we sue Acme for some little thing...

Yes. - Nobody even notices.

We're a tiny item on a spreadsheet.

But this? This went to Buddy Crane.

Who? - Buddy Crane?

He's only, like, the best lawyer in the country.

Okay. - Went to law school together,

and he is a total machine.

Built like an ox, his mind is sharp as a tack.

Trims his fingernails with a switchblade.

You know, I once saw him eat a lobster...

Well, I eat lobster. - While it was still alive.

Not even sure that's legal.

What could I have possibly done to deserve all this?

Did I piss off a witch? - Oh, no.

We good. - Then how did this happen?

I just typed up everything that was inside the box.

And I just brought the box inside.

I've just been working on my short game.

I've been on hold for two hours

trying to win tickets to the Country Jubilee.

You.

Do you have any idea what you've done?

You have put me in such a horrible position.

Hi.

If it isn't my old friend Kevy.

Yeah, it's been a while.

Look at you, shaking things up.

Well, I'm not intentionally shaking, really.

I think... You know, I think

we should have a face-to-face, don't you?

Your face and my face?

Be in my office. 15 minutes.

Get things right as rain. - Okay, sounds...

Looking forward to it.

From its humble roots

as a cartoon anvil factory,

Acme has become America's greatest success story.

Acme, I say, Acme is an innovation factory.

We create the impossible.

With each new product,

we revolutionize industry and the world.

We're a company of family values

that values its family of companies.

Acme.

Hey! Hey, hey.

I don't know what your deal is,

but I need you to listen to me very carefully.

Stop. You are gonna follow my lead, all right?

We're gonna tell them this is all just

a big misunderstanding, and we're looking

to get this settled as quickly as possible.

We will be polite.

We will not detonate explosives, all right?

If they put something in front of us,

we will sign it.

Got it?

Mr. Avery. Bill Pelicanos.

And Mr. Coyote.

I'll, uh, take you to see Buddy.

So I hear you guys were friends

from back in the day, huh?

Guess you could say that if you were incorrect.

And look at this guy going clothing-optional.

Hey, Buddy, look who's here.

If it isn't Mr. Billboard.

How you been, man? - Good, good. Yeah, very good.

Those were the days, weren't they?

Yeah. - Harvard Law. You look...

good. - Uh, thank you.

Have a seat. - Okay.

I gotta say, I was a bit surprised

to see your name on a case of this size.

Me, too.

I mean, I'm so sorry about all this.

It was just a big misunderstanding.

Well, we got a really busy day around here,

and I would hate to keep you from getting back to...

whatever it is you do. - Yeah.

Lot of stuff, too. Yeah. - Yeah, sure.

Oh, my God.

And this seems obvious, but I have to say it anyway.

Acme denies all charges and accepts no liability

or causal connection between Mr. Coyote's colorful injuries

and our state-of-the-art,

life-enhancing family products.

Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

And, you know, as much fun as it would be

to get back in a courtroom with you,

I guess it's time to do what you do best.

Settle. - Yeah.

Um, well, look, thank you so much,

and I'm so sorry for taking up all your time.

It was unintentional. I...

No, no, no. He didn't mean that.

Do you have another copy? - Is this a joke?

No, no. - 'Cause it's not funny.

I thought cartoons were supposed to be funny.

You guys actually wanna fight, Avery?

Your tiny firm is unmatched.

We'll tie you in legal loopholes.

We'll bury you in paperwork.

I'll put a dozen of my best lawyers on this

24 hours a day to make sure

your name is more synonymous with failure

than it already is.

Oh, and I almost forgot. We don't validate parking.

Do you know what you could do with $50,000?

Do you have any idea how many birds you could buy with that?

Flocks! You know what?

Not that it really matters, but I'm out.

Yeah, that's right. I quit, man.

Go find another lawyer.

This is already my personal freaking nightmare,

and I'm not sticking around to see if it can get any worse.

Sorry. Butterfingers.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why didn't you settle?

That's what we do here. We settle.

Dottie, what do we do here? - We settle.

Okay, I tried to settle, but he wouldn't let me settle.

He's a coyote. We're not even trial lawyers.

I have a miniature golf tournament this weekend,

so I don't even know if I'm gonna make it in on Monday.

Plus, trial prep adds up. Photocopies, in this economy?

But if we beat Acme, then we can afford

a ton of photocopies. - We won't beat Acme.

I mean, nobody ever has, and nobody ever will.

The truth is, even if you quit right now,

the firm is already in the hole for Acme's legal fees,

and that's just from today.

I mean, that could close down our doors.

Look...

if we lose, we lose.

If we quit, we really lose.

A lot of money.

Okay, okay. Okay, look, look.

We got one true goal for this trial.

It's this.

We can't look like fools, all right?

Our job is not to win this case.

Our job is to still be in business when it's over.

That's the spirit.

Let's act like lawyers. What do real lawyers do?

They would find evidence

and start making a list of witnesses.

The bird? - He did witness

every time an Acme product malfunctioned.

He could corroborate Wile E.'s story.

Sure, whatever.

Add the Road Runner to our witness list.

One more thing.

Um, where is Mr. Coyote gonna stay?

All right, don't give me that look.

Yeah, I live in a motel. Look, I got pool access.

You know, there's no mortgage. I never have to make my bed.

There's an incredible all-you-can-eat

seafood buffet around the corner.

Tissues come out of a slider on my bathroom wall.

Stop that. Hi, Cherry.

Yeah? - Yeah, um...

One second.

Stop. Come on.

Yeah, hi, I need another room for a few nights.

Not near me, please.

He's not a pet. - He looks like a pet.

Who rents a separate room for their pets?

Cherry, come on.

I've been living here for almost five years.

You know me. - No pets.

All right, okay. You wanna do this?

Legally speaking, a pet is a domesticated

or tamed animal kept as a companion

in or outside an individual's residence.

This is Mr. Coyote. He is my client.

He's not my pet nor anyone's pet in the eyes of the law.

And as such, that sign or any rule that accompanies it

does not apply to him, all right?

It does not say "no animals."

And just my unbiased opinion,

he may actually have a case against you

for discrimination.

Yeah.

He pees on the rug,

it's on you. - All right, deal.

But I would need a full workup of urine analysis.

I mean, it's a motel.

Plenty of people pee on the rug.

Oh, right next door.

Of course.

Coming up next, a mouse

breaks the sound barrier in Guadalajara.

One week more to catch Albuquerque's

Annual Carrot Festival while it's still in town.

Are you having fun? We are.

What?

You're kind of a psychopath, aren't you?

Watch and learn.

So we take the subpoena, like so.

Just cover it with copious amounts of bird seed.

Road Runner eats the bird seed,

grabs the subpoena, and boom.

He's legally obligated to show up to court.

Instant Road Runner trap.

Beep, beep.

"Beep, beep."

Is that some kind of inside thing with you guys?

Is everyone clear on our plan?

No. - Nah.

Yes. - Paige, what's our plan?

So we have to prove to a jury that Acme cartoon products

are at fault for every accident

that Wile E.'s had going back years.

So we are going to take pictures,

and we're gonna gather evidence,

and we're gonna put the evidence in little bags,

and we're gonna interview experts and witnesses,

and we're going to highlight

big books of photocopied documents,

and we're gonna pound the pavement,

and we're gonna study up,

and we're gonna try and catch our big eyewitness

by leaving a nice note in the desert.

And if we follow my plan by the end of this,

we'll have enough evidence to take Acme down.

We really have nothing.

I mean, I kind of assumed that we'd have nothing,

but this is nothing.

All rise.

The court of the Second Judicial Circuit

of Albuquerque is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Troppogrosso presiding.

You may be seated.

Human.

Human.

Cartoon.

Quiet!

My name is Judge Troppogrosso.

The name of the case is Coyote v. Acme.

I am not a loosey-goosey judge.

I am a no-nonsense, no-silly-stuff judge.

Is that understood?

Yes.

Mr. Crane.

Go get some.

We live in a great country, don't we?

Because it's one that values freedom above all else.

You're free to live your life any way you see fit.

Could mean living in the desert...

out in a cave,

spending your days chasing after a bird,

who is much, much faster than you.

But that is your right as an American.

But that freedom, it comes with great responsibility.

If you were to take a missile, for instance,

and you were to glue handlebars to it,

well, that's your choice.

But we expect you to understand

that that missile and those handlebars,

they aren't designed to catch birds.

What I will prove to this jury

is that man, Wile E. Coyote,

he is reckless.

And all of his injuries are self-inflicted.

I mean, we won't condemn him, you or I.

We all know who's responsible.

It's as clear as the desert sky.

I think I just laid an egg.

God bless America. God bless the troops.

Damn, that was really good.

Oh, uh, please don't write that down.

And... and please don't write that down.

Or... or that down.

Mr. Avery.

Um...

Okay. Um...

Now, uh...

Now what did the defense say we were gonna argue?

I mean, I know the answer to it.

I know the answer. I'm not asking you a question.

I mean, it is... It is a question.

But it's a question that I'm asking to me.

Let me start over. Let me start over.

Objection to my start.

So the defense said that we were gonna argue

that the products are dangerous

and that Acme is negligent in selling them.

I do really agree with all that.

I mean, it's not fancy, but it's true.

Um, uh, sorry.

One second, please. One sec...

Yeah, Wile E., we don't need evidence right now.

Mr. Avery. - Okay, okay.

Excuse me, Your Honor.

My client would like me to show you

this defective Acme rocket skate.

And as you can see, there's a faulty on switch.

Nothing.

God bless America.

God bless the troops.

Opening arguments today in Coyote v. Acme.

Sources close to the case report

that Acme is doing a fantastic job

protecting their brand and dignity,

while the plaintiff appears hungry and afraid.

More after this.

One week more

to catch Albuquerque's Annual Carrot Festival

while it's still in town.

Yeah? - 241.

We've been getting noise complaints about a loud TV.

Seriously, it's the TV you're having a problem with?

Okay, I'll turn it...

Are you having fun? We a...

Cherry, I turned it off.

What's up, Doc?

Who's this?

I, uh, can't tell you.

I want to, but I can't. A pickle, ain't it?

You sure you have the right number?

Your trial.

I think I may be able to help you with Acme.

What? - I have information

that could stop Acme for good.

Oh, my God, you could stop this case?

If this gets out, it'll all be over.

I have an associate with information.

If they figure out what he knows, he's a sitting duck.

Well, who? Where do I find him?

Write this down. I'm only gonna say it once.

Wait, wait. Grabbing a pen. Hang on. Hang on.

666 Scary Road Drive.

That doesn't sound like a place I want to go.

Look for a Jack.

Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

And they make people disappear.

Don't forget that. - I won't.

Will I be able to contact you again?

Mr. Leghorn.

Buddy, I say, Buddy, you little rascal, you.

How was Bora Bora? - A tax haven so nice,

they named it twice.

So I say I heard we have ourselves a lawsuit

in the animated sector.

I'll talk to PR about this.

You know, it's a local paper and pretty flattering.

You know, I'm gonna win this case as fast as I can,

but in the meantime, I think things like this

make us look pretty good in the public eye.

Not ideal, but, you know, it's like killing two birds with...

one stone.

Two birds, one stone. What a vile expression.

I only meant... - Rotten.

We both know it would be very,

I say very unpleasant for everyone involved

if anything bigger, I say bigger,

were to become public.

Oh, mysterious caller. It's so cool.

So what did he sound like? - I don't know.

He was kind of like, "Eh, what's up, Doc?"

"I have information, chomp, chomp, chomp."

He was like chewing on a cracker or something.

Okay.

Well, map is saying it should be right here.

It's just a wall.

Jack? - Oh, God.

Is there a Jack anywhere?

Wait, what's that?

Oh, that kind of Jack.

Somebody's got a sense of humor.

Well, there's a duck, and he is sitting.

Feels a bit easy.

Well, good thing I like easy.

Excuse me. Hi.

My name is Kevin Avery. This is Paige.

I'm a personal injury attorney.

Well, look who decided to show up.

Oh, great, thank you.

I wasn't sure if you knew we were coming.

You're a little late,

and you're still wearing that hideous suit.

Take your pants off right over there, please.

And, um, strike a pose. - Uh, no.

It's so difficult to find nude models these days.

Sit down.

Sarsaparilla?

We're all right, thank you.

Disrobe and pretend you're thinking.

I expect this is going to take a few hours.

Yeah, um, we had an anonymous caller say

that you might have some important information.

Yeah, information that can help us end our case quickly.

Information?

Yes.

About Acme? - Acme?

Uh, yes.

Acme. - Acme?

Acme?

After all this, they call me Daffy?

The world is Daffy!

Ac-me? Ac-you!

You'll never get it out of me. I'll tell you everything.

Your face is covered in Acme.

Whatever you need to know about Acme is inside the box.

Mr. Duck! Mr. Duck!

You really shouldn't be here.

I agree, Doctor.

Let's tear this facility to the ground.

Hello?

I'm here for the

pantsless modeling gig.

Look, I'm a horse.

Mom, I'm a horse! - ACME PAINT

Boing, boing. - What are you doing?

Come on in! The water's freezing!

Well, we drove him crazy,

and we got a can of paint. - Well, it could be important.

Clearly, he's been holding on to this for a while, so.

Wait.

"That's all, folks."

Are we the folks?

Do you think we're going to get kidnapped?

Held for ransom?

I feel so alive.

So, what do you think it is?

Thanks.

That looks unspeakably dangerous.

And yet, he walked in anyway.

Wait, what... What are you doing?

I'm following Wile E.

Now I just look like a loser if I stay out here.

Coming into the tunnel.

Hello?

I bet they don't tell you to walk down mysterious tunnels

in your fancy classes at Oxford.

I bet they discourage it, actually.

Actually, I thought about majoring

in mysterious tunnels.

No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did.

What have we got here?

Hey! I found a message.

What does it say?

It says, "Daffy, I'm not sure how long I have."

"I hope this message gets to you."

"Things have gone awry with Project..."

"Sisy-foose."

Sisyphus.

What is Project Sisyphus?

"Acme is watching my every move,"

"and I have a feeling I'm in grave danger."

Wile E.?

"If you see this message, please send help."

"Dr. Lorre."

Kevin! Train!

Go, go! Go, go, go!

Oh, did I not say unspeakably dangerous?

Did... Didn't I say those exact words?

Yeah. - I did.

Okay, what could this mean?

- Project Sisyphus. I... I don't know.

I don't know. All right?

What? What just happened?

What?

Boss, I think they're on to us.

Okay, so Sisyphus is from Greek mythology,

and he was punished by the gods

and made to roll a boulder up a hill every day,

but it would just roll right back down for eternity.

And it was also what Daffy was painting.

So what? That's not evidence.

None of this is gonna help us win the trial.

All right, it's all just a waste of our time.

We have a client who, no offense,

can't read a warning label.

We have piles and piles of stuff that he himself broke.

We have nothing, Paige.

You've been settling Acme cases for years,

and you have never stopped to think and see a pattern.

A pattern? Yes.

My clients go boom,

and two seconds later, they're fine.

Nobody cares.

So, that makes it okay?

Boom, $100, that's fair? This case can make it, right?

This is your opportunity to really show people

what you're capable of.

Yeah, but that only works if I don't lose.

And... and why do you assume you're gonna lose?

Are you kidding?

It is really super easy to lose.

And it's better you learn that now.

You know, everyone thought I was crazy for coming here.

But I didn't want to just go to some big law firm

and help the rich guys get richer.

I thought...

I thought you were actually still a real lawyer.

Yeah, me too.

So, uh, what is it about the Road Runner?

Ah, there are no words.

You know, I... I... I envy you, really.

You know, it must be nice to have such a...

Such a clear goal.

I mean, I used to have that, I think.

You know, I was hungry, and I was chasing.

But I didn't like the pressure of having to always win.

And I got burnt out on trying.

Anyway, you're a really good listener.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, stop! Wile E!

Stop! Stop!

There's a cliff! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

We were having a heart to heart.

Wait, Wile E.! You can't make that jump!

Wile E.

Wile...

You made it.

Well, you go a long way to make a point.

Hey, Wile E.

Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow.

Are you sitting down? - Uh, yes.

Well, Sal's not. Is that going to be a problem?

No. Wile E. is conning us.

The only reason he's doing this case is to catch

and kill the Road Runner during the trial.

That's not good.

It's all just part of a plot.

He's using us so I'll put the bird on the witness stand.

If the Road Runner shows up to court, it'll be chaos.

I'll look like a fool.

The firm will fold, we'll be mattress salesmen.

That's kind of demeaning to mattress salesmen.

Fine. We'll be, uh, garbage men.

Kevin. - Okay, garbage people.

My dad's garbage people. - Okay.

I'm just really nervous

about letting Wile E. back into this courtroom.

Without Wile E., there's no trial.

With no trial, there's no firm.

And without the firm, we're going to be broke.

I hate to suggest lying to a dog,

but you're going to have to convince him

that the Road Runner will be there.

Paige, I was wrong.

See what you can find out about Project Sisyphus.

And how it's connected to Acme.

Great. I'm already on it. - Okay.

Hi, I was just wondering if a Dr. Lorre still lives here?

They listen, you know.

Would you like some tea, dearie?

It was a very happy marriage.

He used to work long days, but would still come home

and play the piano for me for hours

because he knew how much I loved it.

We had 87 years together.

I am grateful.

Um, when did Dr. Lorre pass away,

if you don't mind me asking?

Oh, he's not dead.

He's missing.

He went to work one day with our little bird,

and I never saw either of them again.

They told me he ran off with his secretary,

but I don't think so.

His secretary was a penguin.

What can you tell me about Project Sisyphus?

What?

Which day what?

Oh, which day is the Road Runner testifying?

Any day now. Why?

Do you have any particular reason

for wanting to catch up with him?

Okay, well, I'll keep you posted.

I need this Road Runner.

Absolutely. Why exactly?

He's the only one that's seen every time

this moron's used our products incorrectly.

If I had to bet, he's holding a grudge.

Go out there and you bring him to me.

How hard could it be to catch a bird?

Woo!

I love being a lawyer!

Release the payload!

Hello.

My husband was the head inventor

of animated products at Acme.

He was so excited when he got the job.

He wanted to make things that really helped cartoons,

like the anti-lump pump.

An eraser of stinky lines.

Oh, and this anti-predator spray.

Hello...

After a while, things changed.

He didn't like what was going on,

and then, he disappeared.

Recently, I've been getting phone calls.

Sometimes they hang up, but sometimes...

Eh, what's up, Doc?

I don't know the man on the telephone.

I don't know where my dear husband went,

but I know Project Sisyphus

is the reason he's gone.

Target acquired.

Commence Project Road Kill in T-minus three

two, one...

Sir, the target is looking at us.

Why is the target looking at us?

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

Retreat, retreat!

Did we catch him?

Oh, did we catch him?

Oh, my gosh, the glue burns!

Oh, my head is on fire!

So, obviously...

we hit a speed bump.

Does it itch? Yes.

But I'm afraid to touch it.

You were my eyes and ears out there, what happened?

What'd you see?

Well, I taught I taw...

You taught you taw?

I don't pay you to tink you taw,

I pay you to taw!

I taw! - You taw?

Or you thought you taw?

Because you just said you taught you taw!

I did, I did taw!

What did you tee? What did you taw?

A breakdown on the eastern perimeteh-ter.

Ultimately, that's where he ran off.

That Road Runner is very, very fast, sir.

Step your game up, bird.

They're getting too close.

I don't just want him scared, I want him ruined!

I want him to stop digging around!

You know what happened to Dr. Lorre.

You want the same thing to happen to your Granny?

No, please! I'll get him tonight!

I... I promise.

Hey, great job, big dog.

Shut up, Patches! - Absolutely, sir.

I won't say another word.

I wish I could say more,

but Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

But Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

But Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

Paige? Are you okay?

Oh, I'm totally fine.

I've always kind of wanted to throw a bomb out of a window,

but there just never really was a right time.

Listen, Dr. Lorre's widow gave me this tape,

and I've listened to it a thousand times,

and there's something in the background.

But Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

That's the guy who called me.

Yeah, I know, but... but can you hear it?

I wish I could say more

but Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

Wait! Wait, wait, wait. That's evidence!

Okay, that's enough.

Wile E., Wile E., Wile E.. - Please stop that.

Is there some kind of plan to this?

There it is.

Wait, I know this song.

From where? - I... I don't know.

It's like a TV show or an ad or...

Wait.

Albuquerque's Annual Carrot Festival.

Okay, wh... what is that?

A festival of carrots in Albuquerque.

It happens every year annually.

Hello?

Mystery caller?

Mystery caller who... Who called me?

Tell him we're from Avery, Jones and Maltese.

We're from Avery, Jones and Maltese.

You can show yourself at any time.

So, uh, what is up, doc?

Who's there?

I'll never tell you, Mac.

I'm a creature of the night, a shadow that moves.

You'll never figure out who I...

Oh, my! Oh, heavens!

You've seen my face.

Don't look at me. I'm too...

beautiful?

Mystery caller?

I tell you, the budgie has been bumbling

and stumbling your way through this case for weeks.

You're lucky you have me on your side.

Hey, you been followed? Got eyes on you?

Caught by a red-light camera?

Spotted by a drone?

Have you been bugged?

This is just getting embarrassing now.

Look, I got like a million questions for you.

Why didn't you call again?

What happened to Dr. Lorre?

And what can you tell us about Project Sisyphus?

Enough with the questions, counselor.

This calls for a flashback.

Dr. Lorre was the head inventor

of Acme cartoon products, you see.

He built some amazing things.

Essentials, like the Quick Change Machine.

One day, they sent an executive from corporate

to oversee things.

The guy was a real turkey.

Suddenly, there was a lot of secrets.

They called it Project Sisyphus.

Under the new management,

the tests became increasingly reckless.

I'm not sure I understand.

What was it all for?

They weren't inventing products for cartoons.

They were using cartoons

to invent products!

Dr. Lorre told them this was wrong

and that their tests were harmful to cartoons.

He pleaded with them to put an end to it.

But instead...

they put an end to him.

Everyone who worked on Project Sisyphus

is either missing,

or forced to work for Acme...

or quacked.

And when did the program end?

Don't you see?

It never ended.

It evolved.

Instead of testing dangerous products in the lab,

they let them out into the real world.

Yes. - Wile E.'s rocket skates,

they were designed to backfire.

Now you're getting it.

The more something breaks, the more a cartoon gets hurt,

the more data to make better Acme products for humans.

Exactly, exactly.

Wile, you're what they call a, uh, a high-usage user.

They let you boom and splat and bang

for years and years,

knowing full well the toll.

Would you testify to this in court?

The world needs to hear this.

No, no, no.

You need someone on the inside to spill the beans.

Get the head of PR at Acme to testify.

He's a master of spin.

His name is...

Uh-oh, that's my cue.

I think they got him.

Nah, they didn't.

Hey, if anyone asks,

tell them your informant was a little hunter

with a funny hat.

We're all counting on you. Bye.

Yeah, that's great.

No one's going to get through that door.

Any added security is great.

Will you tell us your role at Acme for the record?

Okay, great.

If he says anything wrong,

we'll get him out of here. - Done.

And what does your role as PR representative entail?

Acme.

So you have authority to speak for Acme.

What can you tell us about Project Sisyphus?

Mr. Devil,

what is Project Sisyphus?

May I remind you, you are under oath.

Objection?

Counselors, approach the bench.

This case is turning my courtroom into a circus.

They just ejected my witness.

We don't know that.

Couldn't agree more, Your Honor.

I'd like to file a motion to exclude all evidence

submitted by the prosecution.

Save the original pair of rocket skates.

All else is overreaching. - Motion granted.

Are... are you kidding?

Thank you, Your Honor. - Now, in response,

I'd like to file a motion for dismissal

due to lack of evidence.

Motion granted. I'm tired of all this bunk.

You're not allowed to say that.

That's the beauty of being a judge.

I can say whatever I want.

Mistrial? There.

I said it. Case dismissed.

Case dismissed.

I have a comment.

What happened in there was a miscarriage of justice,

but it was not a surprise.

The Acme Corporation has knowingly

been putting dangerous products

into the hands of cartoons for decades.

Acme has gone to great lengths to cover up an insidious plot

that they call Project Sisyphus.

They have threatened the safety

of myself and my client.

Look, bombs, boulders, pianos,

they will stop at nothing.

But myself and my associates,

we will keep fighting.

I mean, these... These companies think

they can do whatever they want and get away with all of it.

Because they do.

Well, we're sick of it. And it stops now.

So we're getting ready to launch a, uh, uh...

Uh, excuse me. Uh, a moment.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Wile E.!

More chaos in court today

after the Acme trial was dismissed

by the very fair

and honorable Judge Troppogrosso.

The plaintiffs made their objections

known by wrestling a six-foot cartoon rocket.

It's all good. Nothing to see here.

Is that your car?

Hey, Paige. - Have you seen?

What? - Your speech.

It's the number one trending news item

in the country right now.

It's everywhere. - What?

They... they like my speech?

Well, and the car exploded,

I... I think is a part of it.

Mr. Avery. - Mr. Avery.

Mr. Avery. - Mr. Avery.

I gotta go. - Mr. Avery.

Mr. Avery, any comment on Congress

agreeing to hear your case?

Uh, uh, Congress?

Thoughts on Foghorn Leghorn agreeing to testify.

No, uh, did... Did you say Congress?

They're putting Acme under the microscope.

You're going to DC. - We're going to DC?

We're going to DC!

Uh, okay. Well, uh, no... no comment.

Mr. Avery. - Mr. Avery.

Mr. Avery. - Thank you.

Mr. Avery.

Wait. Where are you going?

What? Wile E., no.

You can't go. I need you in DC.

I mean, this is the big showdown.

If... if you don't show up, there's no hearing.

This whole thing will have been for nothing.

Uh, the Road Runner will be there.

Yeah, of course.

He'll be there. Yeah, he's coming.

I... I... I promise.

So, come on.

What do you say?

I mean, the whole world will be watching.

And he'll be there.

All right. Good. Come on. Let's go.

6.5

Mr. Avery, Mr. Avery, how's the water?

What initially seemed to be a case

of routine product malfunction

has turned into a David versus Goliath

tale as old as time.

We would like to wish our furry little friend

good luck in DC.

We're rooting for you, Wile E.

And we always were

from day one.

When a company is this successful...

there's always someone

looking to tear it down.

But our hands are clean.

Flight attendants, prepare for landing.

Sorry about that initial wrong turn

out of Albuquerque, folks.

This is it. No more warnings.

I don't care if you kidnap him,

run him out of town, or throw him down a hole.

Wile E. Coyote will not be at the hearing tomorrow.

Are we clear?

Yes, boss. We're clear.

Please be quiet.

Wile E., please be quiet.

Look, I promise you, what I have to do

is more important than what you have to do.

There's been a change of plans.

Uh, he... he couldn't make it.

All right?

Okay, fine.

You think I would drag the Roadrunner out here

so you could destroy me in front of the entire world?

Yeah, I know you just wanted him in that courtroom

so you could catch him and eat him.

Why would I help you do that?

Okay, yeah, I lied. I lied.

I needed you to stay with this case.

But you know what? You lied to me.

Huh? You misled me.

You made me think that this case was about somethin'.

And... And it is.

You know, this is way bigger than the Roadrunner.

Did you not even process what the rabbit said?

You're a high-usage user.

I mean, look at all this stuff.

You're addicted.

Every explosion,

every time you fell to the bottom of a canyon,

Acme wanted that.

You know, I changed around my whole life for you.

My entire routine.

It's probably all gonna blow up in my face

because you wanted a drumstick.

Oh, myself?

You have only cared about

your plan this entire time.

"Oh, the Roadrunner, the Roadrunner."

I'm so sick of this Roadrunner.

You're never gonna catch him!

Okay?

You just... you... You really aren't.

Just stop trying.

Yeah. - Hey, Kev.

Look, I didn't want to have to tell you this

right before the hearing, but, um...

we've spent every last cent on this trial.

We're out of money.

So, what does that mean?

It means, unless there's some kind of miracle,

there's not gonna be a firm to come back to.

I made you guys appointments to donate plasma next week.

I can't go.

I don't want to put this kind of pressure on you.

We just thought you should know.

Okay.

Damn it.

Beep beep!

You missed!

Wile E.! Wile E.!

Oh, boy.

Wile E., grab my hand!

I'm trying to save you! Aah!

Over here! Oh! Oh!

Aah!

Look, Wile E., I'm sorry.

I made a mistake! Okay?

Wait! Wait! Wile!

Oh, no. Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Uh, what is the holdup?

He's in the bathroom.

Looks like you had a rough night, huh?

Oh, thanks for your believable concern.

Oh, come on. Do you really want to go out there?

I mean, where there's cameras?

The pressure?

What is this?

It's everything you ever wanted.

Freedom from responsibility.

That's no strings attached.

That is under the table and it's for you.

All you gotta do is walk out this door right now.

I mean, come on.

You really want to just keep doing

the same thing over and over again?

Try, fail, try, fail,

expecting a different result?

I just realized that, uh,

yeah, I do.

You get the gist.

Oh, my God. You look like a stuntman.

Is Wile E. here? - He's not with you?

I haven't seen him since we were going 80 miles an hour

on the highway strapped to a refrigerator.

What the hell? I thought you guys were

in the hotel room next to me. I feel so left out.

I really screwed up.

He knows the Road Runner's not coming.

He knows I lied.

Ugh, I'm a jerk.

I should have been honest with him.

It just seemed easier.

Mr. Avery, uh, thank you for joining us today.

We are here to determine

whether or not Acme products are a danger to society.

Uh, where is your client?

I'm, uh, not entirely sure, to be honest.

Senator Fudd,

the fact that Mr. Coyote hasn't deemed it necessary

to grace us with his presence at the scheduled time

should tell you all you need to know

about his character.

Hmm, I think this does tell us a lot.

Look, my client has a long history with Acme.

He's been using their pwoducts...

Sorry, products,

for decades. - Why is that?

If they're so... "dangerous."

Well, he doesn't have a choice, really.

Uh, Acme has a monopoly over all the tools

required for Mr. Coyote's work.

His work?

I have here that he's unemployed

and living in a cave.

Truth, truth. - It's a fact.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Pursuant to Sylvester V. Gonzalez,

"chase by predator" is a legal occupation

under the law.

All right, he may not get a salary, but he works.

In fact, he's one of the most hard-working

people I've ever met.

And he's brave.

He will walk out onto the tiniest rope

over the largest canyon.

He'll straddle a rocket

that he's glued handlebars to

without batting an eye.

I mean...

Sorry. Uh... uh...

Look...

when Mr. Coyote first walked into my office,

I was the laziest person you could ever imagine.

I didn't want to work.

I didn't want to try anything.

Because deep down...

I didn't want to fail.

But he's not afraid of that.

No matter what happens, he picks himself up,

he tries again, and again, and again, and again.

He would never think of quitting.

He wakes up every morning with purpose

and with hope.

And I think everyone should be inspired by that.

I know I am.

You don't need signs anymore.

Thank you for coming back.

Mr. Leghorn, thank you for taking the time

from your busy schedule.

Now, we've requested that

Mr. Avery asks you a few questions today.

I've been studying this guy in interviews.

He's a blowhard. Huge ego.

Here I am, son.

All right. I can work with that.

Mr. Leghorn, are you aware of

the Acme program known as Project Sisyphus?

I am familiar with the name.

Okay. And how would you explain

the type of program that it is to this committee?

Well, it's one of research and development.

Great. So you're constantly innovating

your cartoon product line to make it better?

Yes, sir.

Okay. That makes sense.

But if you're studying these products so closely,

why are they malfunctioning so frequently?

That sounds like something you might tinker with.

Well, son, business is complex.

Okay. Now does any of the information

that you get from Project Sisyphus

go into developing the human line?

Sure. - Sure.

Okay. So you admit it.

He just admitted it. Did you hear that?

He admitted it. You're intentionally giving

dangerous products to cartoons,

willfully causing pain to millions

in this process?

You think progress isn't worth a little pain?

A little discomfort?

It is, son. It always has been.

Besides, nothing we've done today

or any other day is illegal.

Isn't that right, Mr. Crane?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

The law is completely on our side here,

and so is the popular opinion of the silent majority.

Thank you, Mr. Crane.

Mr. Leghorn... - And another thing.

Take a seat, son.

I'm asking the questions here.

Take a seat, son.

There's nothing cuter than this prosecutor.

I am reminded of my days as a little rooster

on the poultry farm, where I learned a valuable lesson.

Cartoons are resilient.

Ooh! Hit us with a mallet. Throw us off a cliff.

We can take it.

Speaking as a cartoon,

I think it can even be a little bit funny.

Am I right?

So what's a little pain for the greater good?

Pain is a part of life, and it's valuable.

You like that comfortable rubber

in those shoes there, don't you, son?

Well, that's duty-free.

We developed it by bouncing it one million times

off the face of a cartoon.

Those tornado pills became jet propellers.

That high-speed tonic got us to the moon.

So yes, yes,

our cartoon products sometimes do explode.

Sometimes they do backfire.

Sometimes they push

the boundaries of gravity and science.

But do you all want to live in a world without new?

Without progress?

Now, what is it you always say, Mr. Crane?

Ah! You can't make an omelet without...

breaking a few eggs.

Well, that's right!

And in this case, if that egg

is some low-life, cave-dwelling

desert dog with no connections, no family,

no friends, I'm sorry, but so be it.

No harm, no foul.

That is not an accurate depiction of my client.

Well, I was under the impression

that no one would speak on his behalf

apart from his lawyer.

Is there anyone in the whole wide world

who cares what happens to the coyote at all?

Beep beep.

Mr. Runner, we will be asking you

a series of yes-or-no questions.

Two beeps for yes, one beep for no.

Do you understand?

Beep beep!

Are you a bird? - Beep beep!

Are you easy to catch?

Beep!

Okay, good.

Are you familiar with a Mr. Wile E. Coyote?

Beep beep!

Have you witnessed Mr. Coyote using any Acme products

while in your presence

in the desert? - Beep beep!

Have those products always failed?

Beep beep!

Mr. Runner, have you been a witness

to Mr. Coyote's pain and suffering?

Beep beep!

Yeah, me too.

Would you call him a friend?

Beep beep!

Well, thank you, Mr. Runner.

Thank you for coming here today.

Did you have something additional you'd like to say?

Beep beep!

All right, the floor is yours to add to the record.

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.

A-R-E-Y...

Beep-beep-beep... Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.

"Are you coming back?"

Beep beep!

Mr. Avery, I must admit,

I am very, very moved.

However, you have offered no proof

of Acme's culpability other than

the pain and suffering of this one singular coyote.

Therefore, as much as it pains me,

you leave me no other choice.

All in agreement

to dismiss this investigation,

say "Aye." - Aye.

Yes!

Try, fail.

Well, no hard feelings, boys.

It's a tough world out there.

Better luck next time.

I think those are the birds you're looking for.

Go for it.

No!

I say... I say, this is preposterous!

I say, preposterous!

What in tarnation?

Get me out of here! I want justice!

If anyone is live-streaming,

I will be live-suing, do you understand?

I have a medical condition.

I'm medically more important than all of you!

Okay, seriously, guys, no pictures!

Get back here, Avery!

You can't walk away from me in a suit like that!

Do you know how much I'm worth?

Don't you laugh, Senator, I don't pay you to laugh!

Well, we tried.

We tried.

And thank you, uh, both, for pushing me.

Wait, what's going on?

Hey, look! - It's the lawyers!

They're here. I can't believe this.

Can I shake your hand, mister?

Thank you for what you've done.

Hi, nice to meet you, Paige.

Paige, Paige!

Mr. Avery, Mr. Avery! - Yeehaw!

I need your help!

What is this? - They all want to sue Acme.

Even after how poorly you did.

They trust you.

Avery, Jones, and Maltese!

Hey! Can you believe it? - I can't!

Something's in your office,

apparently it's very important.

Okay, you got this.

Hey, counselor, you put up a good fight

at Congress, but nothing says guilty

better than some cold, hard evidence.

Here's a gift from yours truly,

from inside the doors at Acme.

What's this?

It's about five years' worth of cases.

Looks like we got our work cut out for us.

Shocking new developments

in the unfolding Acme case today.

Newly leaked footage from Project Sisyphus

triggered a pre-dawn raid on company headquarters

that quickly led to the arrest of Buddy Crane,

Acme's chief legal counsel, and CEO Foghorn Leghorn

for their participation in the alleged misconduct.

I'm a cage-free rooster!

Also at the scene, investigators rescued

Dr. Peter Lorre, an Acme scientist

who went missing over 30 years ago.

His upcoming testimony regarding Project Sisyphus

promises to bring the truth to light.

Oh, dearie!

Well, don't be a stranger.

Beep beep!

Well, sky's the limit.

Sky's the limit.

COYOTE v. ACME

COYOTE v. ACME