Original subtitles

"Call me so I can meet you"

"Silence on the phone"

"I usually need you"

"This time I don't want to go"

"Lately I've been turning into someone you don't know"

"You had a chance to love her but you don't seem to"

"No, you don't"

"So even if I can"

"I won't go back to where we started"

"I know you're still waiting and wondering"

"Where my heart is"

"Pray that things don't change"

"But the hardest part is you might realise"

"That I might not be who I am"

"And what you're waiting for no longer exists"

"The former close friend known as Ruby"

Yeah?

Just open the door

You asked me to always knock

I answered

Ivy, your room is a mess, clothes everywhere

I can see your yellow trousers sticking out

-Disgusting, Dad? -Come on, yeah, it's disgusting

Dad!

It's a pigsty

Okay, do you want the bad news or the really bad news?

The bad news

The bad news is your mum cooked

-Remember last time? -Yeah, I had the shits for a week

And what's the really bad news?

She made stew

I don't know why you two didn't like it

You don't like it either - Yes, I do

Have another spoonful then

No, actually, I don't want it, I'm full

I think I might have one of your veggie wraps

-To soak up the gravy... -Absolutely not

Not until you admit your stew is shit

Bob

Karen

Alright, the stew's terrible, agreed?

We'll have to leave the rest for Big Head's birthday

I'm sorry, that's child cruelty

Saying my head's big is also child cruelty

That's not cruelty, that's facts

You have an excessively large head

Especially when you were a baby - No

Your birth was like pushing a wrecking ball out of my body

It was like a crime scene, ask your dad

I'm staying out of it, I'm like Switzerland

Look, I know you're great company

But you came back at the start of the year and you still haven't brought anyone round

What about Ruby?

You like Ruby

You used to like her

Is it because you feel...

Different?

I got the all-clear ten months ago

Yeah, but it still affects you in other ways

Maybe you feel... I don't know... weird?

Not my fault they all acted weird

Can we have a conversation without you getting angry?

This isn't an attack on you

Feels like you're attacking me

God! Listen, I... okay

Okay, we think it might be good if you could be around people

Who've been through what you've been through, can you keep an open mind?

No way

You haven't even read it yet

-Bob, why don't you pull up the website? -Yeah, yeah, just a sec

"Where boys come to have fun"

You got on great with the boys on the ward

It's a chemo camp - Okay, that's inaccurate, Ivy

Bob - It's literally a mutant camp, Dad, tell her

-Would you just read this please, agreed? -I thought you were neutral like Switzerland

Your dad worked really hard to try and get you a spot

What? You already spoke to them? Dad, what the hell?

I just asked them

Asked them what? Is my mutant daughter weird enough for your stupid camp?

Ivy, nobody's calling you a mutant

I just called them casually

To see if they had space this late

Did they have space?

Yeah

I'm not going

Look, it's four weeks in August and that's it

Look, if you don't like it, you can just come home

Yeah, we really think it'll be good for you

You really feel sorry for me, don't you?

Ivy, we don't feel sorry for you - Sorry I'm not sick anymore

What's that supposed to mean?

Having a sick daughter isn't the only way for you two to be interesting

-Ivy! -That's a really awful thing to say

I don't want to be someone people feel sorry for all the time

Nobody feels sorry for you, trust me, you're annoying, and we're worried about you

-Why are you worried about me? -Because you've become...

What?

Karen...

A non-existent person, agreed? Emotionally

You're distancing yourself from everything and everyone

-Ivy... -Exactly

"Children running free where boys come to have fun"

You're here to convince me to go

I'm here to just talk - Same thing

You're like your mum

Stubborn as hell

I can't stand you being miserable - I'm not miserable

Right, you just hang out on your bedroom floor for fun

We just care about you, kiddo

Did you even look at the website?

Yeah, looks great

It says you can start a fire with sticks, which is pretty cool

Dad!

It's not going to work

You know you can call us whenever you want

You can just come home

She's not 12, Bob

I think we need a little...

Absolutely not - Yeah, come on, Big Head

-Karen, you naughty girl! -No!

-Absolutely not! -Embarrassing you? Sorry, sorry

It's our sacred law, Ivy - No, no, I'm not doing this anymore

Whenever I dance...

You get embarrassed

She's embarrassed, come on, Ivy

Here we go - Come on

I love this! Come on!

I love this!

There she is!

And now the walk

I'm not holding the lead, come on

I'm letting go of the lead

Clap, clap

"My heart can take a chance"

"But my feet can't find the way"

"You'd think I could swing gently"

"But I don't feel like dancing"

"No sir, no dancing today"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"Even if I don't find anything better to do"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"Why did you choose a tune my mood doesn't allow?"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"I'd rather be home in bed with you till dawn"

"Cities come and cities go like old empires"

"While all you do is change your clothes and call it variety"

"You have so many colours"

"You confuse the blind so much"

"Why can't I keep up with you when you're the only thing I lose?"

"I'll just pretend I know which way to bow"

"And I'll tell the whole world you're mine"

"Just pretend you understand while I see you clap your hands"

"Sunny Dancer"

"Week One"

"Camp CRF, don't forget to have fun"

"Come back soon"

Look, Ivy

Keep it down, keep it down

Please, keep it down, this is so embarrassing - Okay, okay

Thank you

Look, they seem nice!

Don't stare

Why don't you go say hi!

Stop, I'm begging you, stop

They could be your friends

Look, don't judge a book by its cover - Don't embarrass me

I think you'll find that's my job - No, Mum, please don't

Please don't - Hi, excuse me, hi

Hi, guys - Why are you doing this?

I just want to say: this is my daughter Ivy, and she's fun, agreed?

And also, she can probably drink more than all of you bastards

And she has a massive bottle of vodka in her bag, agreed?

I'm pretty sure vodka isn't allowed at camp

No, no, no, I'm joking, I'm joking

I don't, a massive bottle

Really?

No, no, no, not really

Ivy prefers tequila anyway

Hi - Hi

I'm Bob - Hi, Bob

Nice to meet you, I'm her dad - Yeah, great

We spoke on the phone about...

They're nice

I hate you

That guy's pretty fit, isn't he?

-A bit pale but handsome, right? -No, he's not my type

You were bald three years ago, you weren't our type either

I'll miss you

If they start singing "Wherever we go, people ask us", I'll throw up

No, just give it a try

I transferred you an extra 50 quid

And I put some condoms in your bag too - God!

I'll go tell them about the night you were conceived

What? Mum, no!

-We were around the same age... -Mum!

Get in the car, bye

We love you - Love you too

Bye

Love you both, bye

- Okay, come on - Dad, I got this

-You sure? -Yeah

Okay, come here

I transferred you an extra 50 just in case

Thanks

Look, call me if you need anything

We can get here quick - Okay

What did you say to him?

Just making sure that guy's not a psycho

That means I gotta go

You lot! Listen

If any of you mess with my daughter

Cancer will be the least of your worries, got it?

Yeah, especially you

Welcome to Camp CRF, let me hear a cheer!

Yeah

Okay, I think we can do better than that

Can I hear a cheer?

Yeah - Thank you, that's what I want

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure yet

I'm the camp director

Also known as Patrick

How's it going?

I see we have some returning campers, welcome back

We've got some new faces too

Hi, I see one

All new campers come forward

Time to place the new campers

Come on, don't be nervous

We're all strangers here, but in a good way, I promise

Let's give all the new campers a Camp CRF cheer

Two, three, four

Thank you new campers for coming here

We hope you have a good time and enjoy your stay

Welcome new campers, there's something we want to say

Welcome new campers, hi, welcome

You nailed that!

Awesome!

Okay, thank you, you can go back

This summer's programme

Is unlike anything you've seen before

We're expanding our activities this year and introducing the annual talent show

This is mandatory for everyone

So start thinking of ideas that'll impress our special guest judge

Behind me is my amazing team

They're here to help you in any way you need

So without further delay, let's meet them

Let me hear a cheer?

Okay, you first

Hi

To all new campers, I'm Tristan, Head of Outdoor Activities

I'll be doing activities with you from archery to mountain climbing

I'm Lucy, I'm a trained therapist and counsellor

And unlike the talent show, my programme isn't mandatory

But I'm here if you need me

It's really important that you tell me if any of your medications have changed

I have a list, but it's long

This is Michael, and Polly, and Alice

And we're the awesome ones at Camp CRF

But now it's the moment you've all been waiting for

I know this, we've pinned it on the notice board

Activity schedule for tonight and most importantly, cabin assignments

So go take a look and grab a map and a shirt

And grab a Camp CRF hat

What are you waiting for? Go, go, go

"Each day brings its gifts... untie the knot"

It's great, isn't it?

"Stay active every day"

It's a bit preachy

Some say it's inspiring

But I hope you like your roommate

Where's Alana?

She's not coming back this year

You mean she's not coming or she's not coming back?

Shit!

She was a nice girl

You're with me, Rach

Can you smell that?

Homesickness and discipline

You're a real freak!

And I'm stuck with you again!

Don't do that stupid tarot thing again, got it?

Not my fault your bad aura gave you bad cards

It said "Death was imminent" - Yeah

Come on then

You hit me in the chest

Is this cabin Orine?

I'm Ella

I'm Ivy

What are you doing?

I film a video every camp

Really?

Are there any lava falls or activities tonight?

No, not really

But...

Wait

Look at this shot, it's worth a lot to Tristan

-Head of Outdoor Activities? -Yeah

This is footage stalkers shoot

All of it of him - What?

Not all of it of him - Most of it of him

I think he has nice hands

-Hands? -Yeah

He has clam-like sexy nails

Clam nails!

Okay

Do you still have your virginity board?

-What do you mean? Virginity board? -Yeah, your virginity card

An endless resource, a blank CD

A snow dragon without fluff

That's partly why I'm here, the virginity thing

You come to a chemo camp to lose your virginity?

Yeah, exactly

To get rid of those old restraints

But you're pretty, it'll be easy

Wait, wait, you think I'm pretty?

Yeah, I do

-Would you try it? -No, what?

Sorry, I just watched Blue Is the Warmest Colour

I mean Lea Seydoux...

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it

Are you bi?

I don't have a type, just...

I'll take anyone available - You'll take anyone who breathes, right?

See? I knew we'd be friends

But you're not my type

-No? -No, you're a bit...

Oh well, I'm going to sleep now

Goodnight, roomie

I'm on the pill

What?

Yeah, it helps with acne, and also, I take it just in case

Yeah, good to be prepared

You get me

Tristan's hot, right?

He's alright, yeah - Yeah

This is my year, this is my year

Hey, weirdo!

Wanna sit with us?

Who?

Us, the team

We come every year

Or are you gonna keep staring at them like a stalker?

You're a funny guy, Ralph

Fuck my life!

What's your name?

Ivy

-I don't read minds, what's your surname? -Pritchard

Four Dex pills, twice daily

Ella Oxley, new hair

Yeah

If you change your mind, Ivy Pritchard

We'll be there

Later

Who's that girl? What's your favourite part?

And so I reclaimed my life

They asked me if I wanted to be paid

But I said if my story inspires just one person here today

That's enough payment for me

How lovely!

So inspiring!

Okay, you know what we do now

Q&A

Got your questions ready? Because she's got lots of answers

Anyone? Don't be shy, come on, ask away

Can you make money from social media posts?

Yeah, through sponsored ads

Sponsored ads? Who knew?

-Yeah? -Can you become a millionaire from it?

Maybe, if you work really hard

Do you get paid for this? Or just for doing this session?

I don't get paid for this

Then why do you do it?

Let everyone ask, Ivy

I feel more fulfilled when I help people like you

So we're like a charity case to you

Yeah - No

No, no

I don't think coming to a camp for kids with cancer

And saying you inspire us all is the right move

Okay, I said my story could do that, not me

And what story was that, sorry?

That your parents paid for a gap year abroad for you?

Ivy, that's enough - You're clearly on your period

What?

I won't be the only one bleeding if you say that again

Don't act surprised

Hey, I'm sorry, you can't do that

-Fuck you! -Fuck me? Fuck you, grief tourist!

-"Grief tourist"? -Ivy, my office, now!

Okay, everyone calm down, please calm down

You threatened her - I didn't really threaten her

- You said you'd make her bleed - You swore at a girl with cancer

She's...

I'm struggling to know if I can keep you here after what you did

Keep me here? Am I a pet? She was patronising us

She was trying to inspire you all

You clearly have a warped view of what can be inspiring then

I think I've done pretty well so far

196 kids have come here and Camp CRF made their lives better

Sorry I won't be number 197

Fuck this camp and your boy-love display wall!

Stupid!

"For every mountain, there is a miracle"

I'm sorry, not a boy-love display wall

When you're little, saying sorry makes the problem go away

It's like a magic word

But when you grow up, it doesn't have the same power

I promised my parents I'd try

Okay, listen...

Let's start over

I'm Patrick, the camp director

Hi, I'm Ivy

I've been in remission for 10 months

Hi, Ivy

I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to Lucy

I don't need therapy

If you want to stay here after all that...

What time is my therapy session?

Good question, at 8, right before breakfast at 9

At 8:30?

At 8

This is prison

I know it's a bit early, but you can talk

I've got nothing to say

Why are you here?

Because Patrick wanted me to come here

No, I mean at camp, why are you at camp?

Because of my parents

You won't benefit if you only do things to please others

Patrick told me you're not engaging

What do you mean I'm not engaging? That's a bit shocking

Have you had therapy before?

Yeah, I've tried it

That's a promising start

No, it didn't work

I'm sure it helps some people, but it didn't help me

That's a shame you feel that way

Can you talk to me directly instead of talking about my inner self?

I feel like you're not talking to me as a person, and it's really annoying

Is that something you often feel?

No

Why do you think therapy didn't work for you before?

I think I was trying to outsmart her

And I'd say what she wanted to hear

And also...

Maybe I was smarter than her

That sounds like a waste of your money and her time, doesn't it?

Do you think you're smarter than me?

I don't know yet, Lucy

Okay

We'll give it some time then

Can I ask you that question from before again?

Do you often feel like people talk to you as if you're not human?

It's now 8:59

Wild Ivy!

Where were you this morning, Wild Ivy?

Went for a walk

-You like walking, don't you? -Can you stop filming me?

Okay

She scares me

Yeah, she can smell cancer like a truffle pig

Like a truffle pig but she sniffs out tumours

Tumour, tumour

Who said that?

It's well known at CRF camps

One year she smelled cancer on a boy

And he actually relapsed

I know, her nose is spot on

Do you mind if I sit here? I always like meeting new campers

Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure

But not too politely please

"I don't want you to sit please"

Okay, I don't care if you sit here, just sit

Ella was telling me Brenda can smell cancer like a pig

No, not exactly

That's rude

It's a rumour I heard

Shut up

No way - What?

Is that a Panasonic HC-VXF1?

Yeah

I had one when I was younger - Really?

Awesome!

It's good, it can...

Zoom really well, 32x zoom

Yeah, it says that on top

Right

Very funny

I had one just like it but red

God, I love red

-Can I try it? -Yeah, of course, yeah

No

Avoid the scrambled eggs

They microwave them, so they taste like tyres

It's to the left

It literally says "right" on the map

Look at her! Look at her!

It's D3, that's where the treasure is - Are you an idiot?

Idiot and pale, that's a bad look

Give it to Rash Vest, he's good at reading maps

It's DF

By the way, they don't mean pale in a bad way

Sorry

But I didn't want you to feel...

Offended, or think we're all assholes

I don't feel offended

Okay, but don't think we're all assholes

We've all been coming to Camp CRF for years

And we keep coming back

And it has that effect

I'm not sure

Yeah

You were funny at the meeting yesterday

I personally found it very inspiring

Are you all roommates?

No, Ralph and Maisie are together

And I'm with Rash Vest

-Why's he called Rash Vest? -Because he wore a rash vest once and it stuck

Rash vest?

The nickname

Told you I was right

Shut up, Ralph, nobody cares

Maybe I should go make sure they don't kill each other

Wild Ivy's glowing after Jake talked to her

No way, he's way too handsome

I'm going out tonight, so you'll be free if you want to bring him over

We barely talked, and he's not my type

And I can't be his type either

Right

Aren't you gonna ask where I'm going?

Where are you going, Ella?

Tristan asked me to help him set up tomorrow's activities

Did he ask you?

Kind of

You asked him

If I'm not back, don't look for me

He's not interested in you

Slow and steady

And maybe you should give us a chance, you might not hate everyone here

Feeling better?

Thanks for asking

I found my long-lost twin, turns out we have a rich dad in America

That's a great movie

This place isn't for me

Okay, have you tried?

Yeah, my roommate's weird

-Why is she weird? -She does weird stuff

I get that you don't care

Does anyone care?

-You know what you do care about? -No

Maybe if you get into the spirit, you'll find out

I got into the spirit

What do you want to achieve here?

What does Patrick want me to achieve here?

I think...

I think Patrick might want you to be less angry at the world

I'm not angry at the world

I'm not angry at the world

Okay

-Where do you want to start? -I don't know, that's your job

Okay

Where were you when you found out you had leukaemia?

It goes past the pig farms

You're just jealous you didn't...

Whoa! It's the camper on her period

Sorry, stupid joke

You ruined that influencer

You haven't met my roommate Ivy, have you?

She's a bit weird, but you'll get used to it

At least she got her wish

They felt sorry for me

That's bullshit, it's just because you lost a kidney

Okay, Rash Vest only has one kidney too

He went to Lapland and has both

What was your wish, Ivy?

It's so Disney

No way, unbelievable, you chose Disney?

-How do you know I chose Disney? -That's the rebellious type

It's childhood trauma screaming out - What's your star sign?

Leo - Leo, yeah, that gives Disney

The Lion King - Yeah, to be fair, you do give Disney

Give what? What does that mean?

Stop!

God - They picked the meanest nurses

Okay...

She's my favourite

We love you, Brian - Brenda

Brent

Want me to help you take it?

Ouch

When Ralph was younger, Brenda had to hold him down to take his meds

Yeah, it was torture

I'm 17 now

Bruce

That's so funny

I'll tell Patrick

No, no, don't tell Patrick

Don't tell Patrick please

We really love her

What do the letters CRF stand for?

"Children Running Free"

"Cancer Ruins Families"

Still sneaking out late?

Obviously - Okay, ready?

We should go

I don't know

What if we get caught? Tristan will hate me

Tristan will be fine

He asked me to help him set up again tomorrow - Ella, you're being desperate

- I shaved my head - You did what?

I shaved my head

He's 24!

Yeah, and I'll be 18 soon, and he's my type

A pulse is your type

Please, will you come, please, for me - Why do you want to go that badly?

It's not that I'm desperate to go, it's that it'll be fun

What?

Jake's like a brother to me, but he has his own issues

What do you mean?

He...

He gets panic attacks

Yeah, sometimes he needs to be put on ice

So will you come?

Okay - Yes!

But if T calls, I'm going

Deal

Okay, deal

Wanna do a full makeover?

-God, a full makeover! -No, no, no

- Ivy, Ivy, Ivy, okay - No, no, I take it back

Lip balm, no - Fuck!

Lip gloss

God, I have a vision - No

"Not anymore, not anymore"

"What you ask for"

"Strange steps"

"Heels turn black"

"Ashes, ashes, light, the way"

"For those strange steps"

"Take us back, take us back"

"Flow gently and stop heavily"

"You complete me suddenly, you complete me suddenly"

"Flow gently and stop heavily"

They never tell us we're going to die

They always say they'll do everything they can to stop you from dying

Yeah, like saying:

"Excuse me, doctor, do you have an extra spinal cord?"

How close was it for you, Maisie?

The doctors gave me a year to live, neuroblastoma

But you beat it, didn't you? And you're fully strong now

-It became a life chance, right? -Yeah

Then if you survive, you become a statistic

One in ten

When people talk to you like they know how you feel

"My gran died of cancer too"

I don't think your gran's like my 14-year-old best mate

Yeah - What's worse than leaning over your gran?

Hitting your head on her coffin lid when you get up

You're actually mentally ill

I think what's worse than us is "stay positive"

Yeah - That's insane to say to someone

You're sitting there

With a catheter coming out of you

And then...

A nurse comes and says: maybe you should stay positive

Yeah, cancer crew

And my body looked like a water snake that swallowed a teacup

Have you ever been isolated because of cancer?

Yeah - People you least expect disappeared

Yeah, I've been through that

That's bad - Why?

Like they forgot how to act around you

What are you two doing?

So your fingers don't smell - Who smells...

Who smells your fingers?

-I don't know, maybe Patrick? -I hope he's not smelling your fingers

Okay

Who's first?

No way, God, I'm not going next, fuck this - I'll go!

Me!

Okay, cut the cards, anywhere

-Anywhere? -Yeah

Okay

The Moon - The Moon

You feel confused

Yeah - You feel weak and full of self-doubt

It's not what it looks like at all - God

Feel the fear and do it anyway

God, God, must be T

-Who? -Tristan

You've been after that guy for two years - No

He's not new, it has to be new - No, no, no

Something new - No, he looked right into my eyes the other day

When he said "Water equipment room" - Who? Tristan?

Yeah - Ella, he's Head of Outdoor Activities

Since he was 18

He's not interested in you - No, no, no

Slow and steady wins the race, agreed?

The tortoise and the hare

It's impossible for me to work at camp when I'm 18

Yeah, if you make it to 18

You'll drown or do something wild

Really?

Yeah

What are you doing?

I'm drowning, or doing something wild

Tonight?

No, right now

Let's go - What's happening?

Come on!

Come on, Rashi - Come on, Rashi, come on, Rashi

Get in the water

You'll be fine

- I don't have a towel - You won't need a towel

Rash Vest, Rash Vest, Rash Vest

Come on guys, this isn't safe

We can see you, don't make us call Patrick

Come on, come on, come on

Let's get them on this side

My strap is falling down

Come on, this way, come on, come on

You look different today

Different?

Happier

-Really? -Yeah

I'm usually miserable, right?

Yeah, a bit, maybe it's our influence

Yeah, because you guys are so much fun

Yeah, to be fair, we are pretty great, I mean...

Maisie, Ralph, Archie, Ella

They're not, but I am - Really? What makes you so great?

My amazing water skills?

You're trying hard to stay afloat

I have a 25-metre swimming badge

I'm teaching you that

It's on my towel, sewn on

Fuck!

That's refreshing

What?

I feel like I don't really know you

How poetic!

Ask

-Remission? -Four years

Ten months - Newbie, lymphoma

Cool

-And you? -Leukaemia

Remission?

You already said that - Fuck!

I had a stem cell transplant

Did you? From who?

From my sister, she was a perfect match

So you're half female?

Yeah, I'm...

I'm actually Jakita

-Jakita? -Jakita

No, no, no

Don't wet my hair - What?

Why?

Because my head gets huge when my hair gets wet

But your head's always huge

Is that your way of flirting with me?

No, actually, I can't ignore that sight, Big Head

I didn't realise the side effects of lymphoma...

Is having stupid blue eyes and a big nose

Really? Nice, nice - Yeah

-Stupid, then? -Yeah, they're stupid

Kiss!

Kiss!

Come here!

Get out, get out

Shut up

Fuck, fuck, fuck

Did you get that?

"Week Two"

When I was growing my hair out

I thought I'd look pretty with short hair

I looked better bald

Is that why you dyed your hair crimson?

Yeah, yeah, I told myself...

You know?

Let me draw more attention to my bad hair

You idiot

The chemo changed it, it doesn't grow well now

I'm sure you had cute chemo curls

No, my hair went platinum blonde

But when I was bald, my head went up about 10 hat sizes

Not kidding, I wore a beanie for a while

-No! -No, I looked like a bowling ball

Wearing a turtleneck upside down - No

No - Did you wear a beanie when you were little?

God! You dropped to a 3 out of 10 for me

Baby in a beanie?

- Beanies suit hat-fish - What's a hat-fish?

People who only look good in hats

"Hi, I only look good in a hat"

I only look good in a hat

Did people at school shave their heads for you?

No, I wasn't that popular

That's overrated

When we were all bald, we looked pretty similar

That's the point, right? Everyone united

No, no, I wanted to feel special when I was bald

Yeah, that's what I wanted

How did you find out you had cancer?

When I was 13...

I had a trapped nerve in my spine

My mum took me to hospital, and then you know the rest

That's bad

Yeah

Yeah, the doctor said there was a chance I'd be paralysed from the neck down

That scared me so much

And from then on, I started telling myself:

I need to use my amazing body while I can still move

While I'm still alive

Okay, I'll go to the water equipment room, anything wet you want me to dry?

I don't know

Maybe me when I see T

Are you horny all the time?

We're about to turn 18, how are you not horny all the time?

I actually just turned 17

Okay, I think only losers stay virgins at 18

So we need to make a move

Somehow, I think...

That when I was sick, I was scared I'd never do it

It's great to see you happy

Bye

Bye

You haven't called us in ages - Sorry, been busy

Just wanted to check you haven't killed anyone

Not yet

And what about friends? Made any new friends?

Yeah, I have, a few

Really? That's great - Who's that?

It's Ivy - Ivy!

Hey, Dad - Hey, how are you?

I'm fine

I have a day trip tomorrow

Where to? That'll be great

To a nearby town

We mutants have to deal with normal people

Don't bite anyone, we know how you are

By the way, we're fine, thanks for asking

We sold all your stuff, your room's now the spare room

We use it as a love nest

You look great, Ivy - Okay, I gotta go, something's happening

What? No - Sorry

Love you, bye - Love you both, bye, talk soon

Love you, bye, love you - Shut up

-Did they tell you not to beg? -No

You look like a beggar - Shut up

Sorry, do you mind if...

I hang my jacket there, you're standing perfectly in front of it

No, I'm not doing this with you in the water equipment room

It smells like a homeless shelter

Is this better?

I want you to feel like you can tell me anything

I was about to feel something for you, then you said that

Shut up

But that was a bit embarrassing

You wouldn't have agreed to talk to me outside of here

No, I probably would've said no

CRF

Okay, let me do the talking

You can barely say your own name, let alone get us six tickets

Shut up! Trust me

Hi

Did it hurt?

What?

When you fell from heaven, darling

Yeah, it hurt, darling

Tickets are a tenner for adults and eight...

Listen to me, lady

Give us some tickets, we don't have any money

Can't help you then

Please

God - I don't give tickets without money

Ralph, Ralph, it's okay

Ralph, you're fine, go join the group, agreed?

Go join the group, agreed?

Sorry about him

It's okay, next time - We're not from around here

We're from the camp down the road - We'll see what he does then

-Camp CRF? -Yeah, he is, Camp CRF

The camp for kids who almost died...

From cancer

- I lost a testicle - All of you?

Yeah, yeah, cancer's invading my body

Come on then - Really?

Thank you

Come on

Here we go

You want this?

Ivy, come here, I'll protect you

-God! -This is lame

No, no, no

Guys, guys

-Ralph, is that your new girlfriend? -They're from the cancer camp

The lame ones

-Actually I'm not, I can't... -I'll stay with Ivy, you guys...

No, no

Have a great time, you two - But I'm taking the bear

Can we bring the bear in this game?

CRF mutants

Nice face paint

Look, they're cancer avengers

-They must have taken my gym top... -Get new material

I'm talking to you, chemo mutants

Come on

You can't even manage basic hygiene - What did you say, retard?

I said you should suck on a mint, your breath stinks

Nice one, Ivy!

Tiger? Did they paint you blind?

Okay, fuck

-Let's slaughter... -Don't touch me

Fuck!

Last but not least, Ivy

The rest of you can go back to your cabins because we're cancelling all camp activities today

No! Fuck!

This... this is really serious

It's never happened before in Camp CRF history that...

Really? Something funny, Jake?

This is completely unacceptable

The others gave me a clear picture of what happened

Yeah, those people are assholes

This isn't about them

It's about how you all represented this camp - What did you want us to do?

Look, don't swear

Whether you're here or there, you represent this camp and what it stands for

I think if they call me a retard and a mutant, that's crossing a line

Again, they're not at camp

So you want us to be insulted?

-That's not what... -To just take it all the time

-Would you let me... -We're sick of it

- And we do this all the time - Would you let me speak, Ivy?

Let me speak - Don't shout at me

Wow!

Since you got here, you've been acting like a spoiled brat

-Spoiled? -I gave you a last chance and you blew it

Do you get off on this?

On what?

This camp

You act smug all summer

Don't you have anything better to do?

We're helping people here

It's your whole existence to have this camp

Don't you have a family or something?

I have a wife and three kids, Ivy

Great, go hang out with them

It's summer, take them on holiday

Take a chill pill

My two oldest are at university

And my youngest...

He would have been 17

Same age as you

You see that? In the middle?

The little boy in the yellow shirt

That's Oscar

He was 9 when he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma

And he didn't lose his fight

He was winning

Every day, for three years

For three years... my little boy suffered

And I promise you, there's nothing harder

Than watching your son's heart stop

While your own keeps beating

This camp isn't just about surviving

It's about giving people who've lost their ability to survive a chance to really live

So... yeah

That's what I do, Ivy

That's my pathetic existence

You can leave

Activities will resume for all of you tomorrow

I'm so sorry about Oscar

These are the ones who didn't make it

I hate to burst your bubble, Ivy

But some kids aren't as lucky as you

And maybe you've forgotten this, but you used to be sick

And there was a time when you wanted to be a girl at this camp

More than anything in the world

-Can I watch it? -No

Then what's the point of filming it?

It's for memories, so I remember everything

Let us in!

Why don't you use the door?

Come on, get in, come on

Look, that looked more real - Patrick said there are no activities

Please, don't listen to what Patrick says

-Where's Jake? -The lover

Shut up

I think he was really tired

-Haven't you two done it yet? -No they haven't, and she's in a bad mood too

Come on, have some of this

So, did you and Jake do anything?

We kissed

Was he good?

Of course he's good, his lips are sexy

You can't play that, if Patrick hears we'll be in trouble

Since when did you become such a coward? Drink

Drink the whole bottle, all of it

Tastes like nail polish

Can you pee when you're on your period? Because of the...

I don't know what it's called - The pad?

Yeah, the pad - The pad

It doesn't stick to your body, does it?

Where do you think it goes?

It sticks to the dangly bits

No, not the actual part, not the actual lips, the top of the thigh

The top of the thigh?

-Did you say part or lips? -Wait, wait, Archie, you're laughing

-Where do you think it goes? -Yeah, talk

I have two sisters, I know where it goes

-Go on then, where? -You have two sisters? Are they fit?

Like cups around...

What? Like a nappy?

Like a nappy

No?

It sticks to the underwear, you idiots - What?

"I have two sisters"!

-Have either of you seen a tampon? -Yeah, I bought some for my mum

They come in lemon and lime flavours

There are different flavours

Do you have any?

I have strawberry ones in the cupboard

Okay, get ready to learn a lesson, both of you

That's defective - Please don't get naked

Obviously I'm not getting naked, you idiot

Completely naked

What the hell is that?

Move back a bit, lesson one, put that there

Not that way, no, the other way

Push it

Hold the string, hold the string

Fuck - Hold the string

It's huge

That goes inside you?

I use moon cups, but you're clearly not ready for that yet

What's a moon cup?

For the night?

Yeah, for the night mostly, right?

Pull it out, Ralph - Is that tarot reading?

Pull it out!

I can't pull it out - Pull it out

Hit him again

Hello?

-Jake, are you okay? -I didn't want to wake you, I didn't want to wake you

I'm sorry - It's okay, where are you?

I didn't know who to call, I wasn't...

You're okay, you're okay, keep breathing

Just breathe, can you breathe?

I don't know - Are you in your cabin?

I'm having a panic attack - Jake, where the hell are you?

I'm in the woods, I'm in the woods

Okay, the woods, okay, don't hang up, I'm coming

It's okay

Jake, Jake, fuck!

Fuck! Jake, Jake

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

It's okay

It's okay

"Week Three"

You look like a heroin addict

Blame the girls' nights

It always affects me, it's the Victoria's Secret perfume

Try not to think about warm salmon milkshake

You bitch!

Why don't we chill at camp today, Ralph?

I need to see Jake try that on you

This is premium content

Maybe you're pregnant

Okay campers, are we ready?

Survival Island is that island over there

If you need to come back, blow this horn

We'll come get you

On the island you'll find wood for a fire

Pots, tents, and tarpaulin, and sleeping bags are in the boat

This is a fun team-building activity

Most important tip: make sure you put tarpaulin on the ground under your tents

I've tried this before, nobody wants a wet arse

Let's get in the boats now, there'll be one boat for every two of you

So pick a boat when you're ready

Ella, I was going to share with Jake, you okay with that?

Yeah, no, yeah, it's fine

Okay, I'll share with Ralph

Looks like it's just you and me then, Rashi

This is gross

Just be grateful

Why do they make us do this?

It's tradition, it's supposed to make you resilient

I think chemo was easier

You never even had chemo

Okay, radiotherapy then

At least we get one morning without Brenda

I'll be Brenda tomorrow morning and give you your pills by force

What pills do you take, Ivy?

Dex

What pills do you take?

I got leukaemia when I was 14

I had four rounds of chemo

Did you relapse?

Not yet

What are you doing?

There's a sacred rule

When you're sad, you have to dance this dance

It's... just do what I do

What is this?

Trust me, trust me, it'll make you feel better

Okay, you gotta teach us then

I love it

-We're happy! -Yay!

Shoulder, shoulder, shoulder

Then hand, spin motion

And the pigeon, like this

Get up

A clothespin-like move

-What's next? -The chicken

Then we do the Charleston

Then you walk a bit - A mentally challenged person's walk

"But I don't feel like dancing when old Joanna plays"

"My heart can take a chance, but my feet can't find the way"

"You'd think I could swing gently"

"But I don't feel like dancing"

Then you go down

"No dancing today, don't feel like dancing"

"Even if I don't find anything better to do"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"Why did you choose a tune my mood doesn't allow?"

"Don't feel like dancing"

Okay, we bow, and we run

We straighten up, and now we act deeply sad

The most sad you've ever felt

Then we become the happiest ever

You have to scream

Scream

"While all you do is change your clothes and call it variety"

"I'll pretend I know which way to bow"

"And I'll tell the whole world you're mine"

Turn around

"But I don't feel like dancing when old Joanna plays"

"My heart can take a chance, but my feet can't find the way"

"You'd think I could swing gently"

"But I don't feel like dancing, no sir, no dancing today"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"Even if I don't find anything better to do"

"Don't feel like dancing"

"I'd rather be at home in bed with you"

I know we're gonna have so much fun, right?

I don't really like this

But I think Camp CRF

Is the only place where people like us...

Feel what we feel...

Yeah

And there's ten days left...

Till next year

We'll be too old, Ivy

Okay...

We could...

Take over from Tristan

Then Patrick

And we'll run the camp until we're 70

And our skin gets wrinkly or worse

- That might be a bit sad - No, it'll be beautiful

And you won't want to be here and there and everywhere

Travelling the world

So... yeah

I think it might actually be our only option

To stay here

Yeah

I don't want you to think I'm a loser

No, it's too late for that

I really like you

A lot

I really like you too

A lot

We can stop any time

Have you done this before?

Does it matter if I have?

No

Have you done this?

Does it matter if I have?

No

-Fuck! -What?

-Fuck! -What?

I didn't bring...

-What? Condoms? -Condoms?

I have some, wait

-There isn't... -Wait, let me find them

They're my mum's

No, no, no - What?

No, they're mine, she bought them for me

-Open it... -Okay, okay

You taste like lube - Sorry

Fuck!

We don't have tissues

Do you want my shirt to wipe yourself?

To wipe myself?

I mean to dry it

-Dry it? Am I a river? -Fuck

I'm gonna go smoke

Wow!

Are they doing it?

I could beat you in a UFC challenge

Do you watch UFC?

Surrender, coward - No

Do it, surrender - No

I'll beat you in a best-of-three challenge

No way

You saw me punch that guy at the fair

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant

Okay, let's sleep now

It's almost 2:30

God

Okay

I thought you defending me was really cool

I really like you

God

Okay, how many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

-How many? -One

Then twelve to say how inspiring it was

The doctor says it's all in your head

The bad news is it's brain cancer

What's the similarity between you and cancer?

I don't know

Nobody wants you inside them

Fuck!

Dark comedy is like a kid with cancer

It never gets old

Sorry, did I go too far?

I don't think you saw the line, I think you crossed it by a mile

Yeah, that's banned behaviour, they'll send you home early

Yeah

Good job I'm leaving in the morning

I'm serious

What do you mean you're leaving in the morning?

I'm going home tomorrow

We can get past the joke, Ralph

Sorry

Some test results came back from home

The doctor called Brenda

I'm going back to hospital at the weekend

Fuck! I'm so sick of tests

But for the next 24 hours, we can pretend I'm fine

Deal?

I think Brenda smelled the cancer on me

You always had a bad aura to be fair

Yeah, at least we have the camp disco to come back to

Better go now

No

No, we're gonna give you the best night of your life

Puking after two sips, cheap date - Right

By the way, we all heard you last night

Ivy, Ivy - Jake, Jake

Shut up

"Something new, Casper's Sled, Part Two"

"Presented by Platinum Crew"

"And this time we're gonna act weird"

Come on, you promised me a special night out

Camp CRF disco is a great night

Fuck that! We're going out

Twenty minutes or I'll kill myself

-God, Ralph! -Jake, go with him

Or he'll die by a bush somewhere

Yeah, you two should go, both of you

Yeah, aren't the lovebirds gonna dance?

No, I can't dance

Look what Tristan gave me

You look amazing as always, Brian

What did he bring you, Raimundo?

I wish you could bring me a new body

Best I can do is this

Just because you're my favourite

You'll be fine

Some days it'll hurt

You got this, Rachel

"Let's go to work, to the left"

"Now back, one jump this time" - Go, we'll cover for you

Come on, lovebird

Bye

See you later, okay?

Excuse me, excuse me - Bye

Campers - Fuck!

Where do you two think you're going?

I don't know, out

-Where? -I don't know, anywhere

Get in, all three of you

No

-No, fuck you! -He doesn't mean it

Yes I do - He doesn't mean it!

-Patrick... -I just want to...

Ralph, shut up

You told me once there'd be a time in my life

When I'd be sick

And I'd want to be that girl at this camp

More than anything

I did

We live in fear of relapse

And he's being taken away in the morning

And who knows what'll happen

And that's bad

So let him go

Please let him go

I'll count to five

And when I'm done, I expect you both to be in your cabins, understood?

Five

Come on, come on - Fuck!

Four

Three

Two

One

I can't believe you waited for me

Where's Ralph?

Patrick made him sleep in the main cabin

But I carried him there...

By myself

-You carried him? -Yeah, all the way

If you're the one in charge, he must have been in a bad way

Yeah, he was in a bad way

He...

Threw up on a 35-year-old mum

Who hit you?

Her boyfriend

What? He did

And I was trying to help them, and he hit me

What's that?

And I think I realised something

People are what make it worth it

That way, I won't be scared

That's deep for a drunk person

Thank you

I have my moments

I love you

I love you too

I'm so sorry and I really meant it, but I'm gonna throw up...

Are you okay?

How are you?

You must be Ivy - Yeah

I've heard a lot about you

My car's waiting

Get off - That's awful

For god's sake, Ralph! Get in - What?

Bye, you bastards

Bye

Drive, drive fast

We miss you - Bye

My mate went home

Yeah, I know, Ralph

He's a nice boy

-How does that make you feel? -Really shit

Like we're all members of a club nobody wants to be in

I feel like I've been alone for a really long time

Like I shouldn't have survived

I haven't achieved anything in my life

That's not true

There was a guy in my ward

A few years older than me

He'd just started uni

And he was so happy

And he died

And I survived

And it didn't feel right

I'm sorry

It didn't feel fair

Like I took his place

If only one of us could survive

I stole that from him

You didn't take his place - Yes I did

No, you didn't - Yes I did

No, no, you didn't

It's bad that he died

It's terrible, it's cruel

But you didn't take his place

Do you hear me?

You survived

And you don't get to choose

Who lives and who dies, we don't do that

You deserve to take up space

I feel like I told you all these things during camp

I opened up to you

What happens now?

Why am I not cured yet?

Therapy doesn't work that way

Am I supposed to live with these feelings forever?

I want to use a Ribena blackcurrant cordial analogy

If you think of your mind as blackcurrant cordial

Every time you come here and we talk about things

It's like adding a little water to the cordial

Add a little water

Until you're so watered down, hopefully, you don't even notice it's there

So these feelings never go away?

Unfortunately not

But I promise it'll get easier with time

Keep your eyes shut, keep your eyes shut - I'm keeping them shut

Happy birthday!

What is this? Guys?

No!

Eighteen, Ella

Eighteen and with a terrible fake tan

Yeah, but I have to be golden on my birthday

Some say golden, some say offensive

My hands will be stained for weeks

-What? -Open it!

-Who's it from? -From all of us

Okay

No? Raise your own Tris...

Guys!

I love it so much!

Thank you

I got you something too

It's not a big deal, but...

I saw you lost your contact lens case, so...

God, I lost my contact lens case last year

He's been searching for it for weeks

No, I knew... I knew which one it was

It's just a little piece of plastic for...

I had it specially made and put your name on it in case you lose it again

Don't lose it again - I love it

And it's crimson because that's your hair colour, and it's silly, and you probably won't...

No, I love it - I'll take it... give it back

I love it, Archie, thank you

Come here - Okay

Thank you

What did your parents get you?

They're taking me to a restaurant next week when we get home

I can't believe camp is almost over - I know

- It's the last week, the big slide - One week left to pop this cherry

-Cherry? -You mean her virginity

That's gross, Ella

Tristan's taking me out to celebrate my 18th tonight

-What? -It's happening, Maisie

I can feel it in my energy points

Maybe I'll keep his trousers as a souvenir - Oh god, Ella!

I swear, keep your cherries away from me

Thank you for doing this tonight

It's a lovely spot by the pool

The lights and the steam coming off it

I like this - Yeah

Nothing like a bit of cocktail pouch - Yeah

- Tastes like tar - It's delicious

Yeah

The pinker the better

Sorry - You okay?

Yeah

Happy birthday

Thanks

Here we are

There's something I want to tell you

Really?

How do I say this?

You remind me so much of my sister

She's why I started working here at Camp CRF

When I was 18

We lost her when I was younger

Really?

Fuck!

That's crazy

Okay

Somehow, you've always been like a little sister to me here

I feel like you've always understood me

And that's what I thought would never happen because obviously our experiences were...

Different

I want to say thank you

And happy 18th birthday

Yeah, yeah

You've always been like a big brother to me

Yeah - Come here

Okay

Yeah

I'm sorry I didn't stay, I was feeling sick

My chest was...

I'm fine

What happened?

He said I remind him of his sister, who's dead

God!

Fuck, I thought I felt bad - Jake!

Sorry, Ella

There'll be others, Ella

No

No, there won't be others

-What about Rash Vest? -Archie?

Yeah

No, we're just friends, he doesn't like me that way

Ella, I promise you, I've lived with him all camp, so I think I know

Maybe he'll make a move at the talent show

I never thought of him that way

I mean... I would

Maybe he'll surprise you - What might surprise you? Are you talking about me?

You're really attracted to Ella - Shut up

Okay, bye - See you in the morning

Bye - Okay, bye

Is anyone suffering from separation anxiety?

No, but it doesn't feel good

Yeah, I told you that guy has issues

I think we all feel a bit lost sometimes, don't we?

God, you're so smitten

Rub it in more, here I am on my 18th birthday

In a friendship-only, celibate, nun-like drought

And still a virgin

That's not funny

It's a little funny

Happy 18th, weirdo

When you're ready, run and jump

Much higher than the pictures - Yeah, because it's called the big slide

- Not the coward's slide - No way I'm doing this

By the way, where's Jake?

I don't think he was feeling great, he went to see Brenda yesterday

Ivy, you're up - Ivy, Ivy, Ivy

Ropes go here, equipment there

People think kayaking and canoeing are the same, but they're not

Kayaking needs a double-bladed paddle, canoeing needs a single-bladed paddle

Right

Okay

Yeah

Was Jake...

Serious?

Did you Google contact lens cases for a few weeks?

That's a bit embarrassing - I don't think it's embarrassing

I really like him

Really?

That's cool, what knot is this?

It's a manger tie

Designed for a cow to bite on

Wet knots are really hard to undo, but this one's especially resistant

I was learning different knots and stuff

This is an easy-release knot

Want me to teach you?

Yeah

Okay - Yeah, please

Make a loop, then grab the side, yeah, around it

Like this?

Put it like that, yeah

God

That's called a bite

A loop, in rope language

Okay

Like that

See how tight it is?

Yeah, it's really tight

You're really...

Good with ropes

Thanks

Do you...

Know any other knots that are slower to undo?

The hardest knot I know is the constrictor knot

Yeah

It's really hard to tie, really hard

"Jake"

I'm Jake, don't leave a message because I won't listen to it, bye

I can't believe I'm saying this

But I'm going to get with Rash Vest

And I hope he keeps the lead while I do this

You need to set a deadline - I will

Ella, read the room

I went to speak to Patrick

He'll talk to you when he's back

He was at the hospital with Jake

-What? -That's all he said

He'll be back and talk to you right away - This or this for Rashi?

I want to embarrass my ancestors - Green

Okay

-Did he say anything else? -No

Why isn't he answering?

Hello - Hi

Got a minute? It's about Jake - Yeah, Maisie told me

Please sit down, girls, thank you

Okay

Great

I'm Jake, don't leave a message because I won't listen to it, bye

I'm Jake, don't leave a message because I won't listen to it, bye

I was so worried

You didn't call me

-Then Patrick came... -I'm sorry

What happened?

They took my phone

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

That's dramatic

Turns out if you say you have chest pain

They send you straight to hospital now

I thought you weren't coming back

You can't get rid of me that easily

Where's Ella?

In your cabin, getting with Rash Vest

Are you okay, Jake?

Whenever you're sad

That's a sacred rule, Ivy

You weren't lying that day when you said you can't dance

Looks like the most important move is the hips

I can't, no, I can't

Doctor's orders - Coward

Where are the others?

I saw them earlier at Patrick's office

He's going to try and keep them as staff next year

No - He'll ask you next

They're pulling out of the talent show

Who's the special guest judge?

I don't know, they'll bring someone crazy just because they feel sorry for us

Craig Davis was last year - Really?

Yeah, he was

Yeah, he does that old stuff now

-What? -What are you going to do for it then?

I was thinking interpretive dance

I'm serious, Jake, the show tonight, you'll embarrass yourself

I'll play drums or something

-Can you play drums? -No, but I'll try, what about you?

That's a surprise

Will you be diagnosed live on stage?

That's so funny

Why don't you wear the show clothes?

We're over it

That's bullshit, you snakes - What are you doing? The woman in black?

You'll find out later

Are you sure you want to do this?

-Are you back? -Did someone order a stripper?

No way - Hi

Hey

Couldn't miss this, right? I escaped the ward for this

You better clap for me, I'm shaking with fear

Kill it, we're rooting for you

Thanks - Yeah

Good luck - Good luck

Bye

-Are your parents coming? -No, I didn't tell them

Fuck!

-How did they find out? -Classic Patrick move

If my act is bad, Bob, I'll have to leave, you know I can't handle embarrassment

We can't, they've got cancer

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Camp CRF annual talent show

We have performances from all campers

And tonight we have a very special guest judge

Please welcome to the stage...

Drumroll please

James Blunt

Who did Patrick have to suck up to?

I know

Yes!

James Blunt!

Thank you very much, thank you, thank you

Yeah, I feel like I'm at my peak

Next year I'll be doing cruise ship gigs

"My life is brilliant, my love is pure"

"I saw an angel, of that I'm sure"

"She smiled at me on the subway"

"She was with another man"

"But I won't lose no sleep on that"

"'Cause I've got a plan"

"You're beautiful, you're beautiful"

"You're beautiful, it's true"

"There must be an angel with a smile on her face"

"When I thought I should stay with you"

"But it's time to face the truth"

- "I will never be with you" - Okay, you're next, ready?

What are you doing after this?

Sorry?

You know, after this, you wanna go for a drink?

I still have to work, yeah, sorry - Yeah, sure

I'm free

Yeah, come on

Come on, Ivy

"I wake up in the morning and think what did I do?"

"That was my life but I don't need another"

"You cut and you follow, you wear those clothes"

"Why do I feel lonely when you're here?"

So...

I think we can both admit that the time I spent here at camp

Had its ups and downs

But we're so proud of you

You're proud of me?

Yeah, proud of the person you've become

Okay...

I'm really grateful

Here I'm just Ivy, not Ivy with cancer

So, Ivy, when we lose someone close to us

Our bodies can go into shock

Especially when it's unexpected

But also someone we love

And there's a thing called bereavement hallucination

Where we start imagining those who left us

Because the pain of them not being here is so huge

Your other friends decided not to take part in the talent show and we understand why

But we felt like you wanted to

And it was beautiful

We wanted to talk to you before you left

Why is he on the wall?

Patrick, why is he on the wall?

Why is he on the wall?

Ivy, Jake had a heart attack at the hospital

The chemo weakened his heart

And I think his body was just too exhausted

Ivy, he's gone - What do you mean? No, he came back

We think it's important you leave him here - Mum, tell him

Ivy, don't...

Dad

-Ivy... -Please tell him, please tell him

Ivy, Ivy...

He's not coming back

Sweetheart

- He went into cardiac arrest, Ivy - No, no, he didn't, no, he didn't

He's not supposed to be there! Can you take his picture down? Take it down now!

Take it down, he's not supposed to be there

- He's not dead - I told you that

No, stop, stop saying that

Stop, stop, he's not dead

No! No! No!

Ivy

You didn't tell me

We tried to

You didn't tell me - We tried to

You didn't tell me, you didn't tell me

-Patrick said... -You didn't tell me

No!

-No! -I'm sorry

I'm sorry

He loved you

He loved you so much

"Two weeks later"

Hey loser, it's me, Ella

I was thinking about you and I miss you so much

Did you ever open that box I made you?

Did you like it?

Can't wait to see you soon, let me know when, okay? Love you

You haven't told us much since you got back

I mean...

To be fair, I didn't really know what to say to you either

I feel like I lost someone close to me, Mum, and it's not fair

I know

It's strange...

Sometimes they don't tell you about grief

That it feels a lot like fear

Maybe you're not necessarily...

Feeling scared, or maybe you are but...

The feelings are similar

You know what I mean?

That unsettled feeling in your stomach you get

The weight of everything

And I imagine it's hard to take in anything anyone says

Let alone what I'm saying

But...

I didn't lose you, Ivy

So I didn't grieve the way other mothers had to

But I grieved for you losing your freedom

And how you had to grow up so fast

I know we never met him

But if he was special to you, then god...

I'm absolutely certain I know he was really special

I know some days will be really hard

But some days you'll wake up and feel a bit better

Then the next day might be hard again

But the love you felt for Jake

God, some people search their whole lives

For a love like you and Jake had

This pain you're feeling... you know?

I promise you, it's all worth it

Okay? I promise

It's okay, sweetheart

We'll have stew instead of tea

I'll see you downstairs, okay?

"To my best friend Ivy, with love from Ella"

"To the worst and best roommate in the world, with love from Ella"

Hey loser

I don't let anyone watch this, so I hope you like it

Great day - First day at this awful place

This is gonna be the best summer ever - Ever

Okay, come on then

Forward to your mum, back to your dad?

Back to Ivy's dad

He's fit

For the people at home

One point

I love this so much

If I wear this I look stupid

Yeah

It actually looks like you

Yeah

Hello and welcome back to Ella's Explorations

Today we're at the campfire

It's a bit cold

I'm freezing

Stop filming everything or you'll get sent to prison

Yeah

Based on where we're from

We'll tell them their truth

It moves on its own

We're here bringing rays, bringing sunshine, bringing positive vibes

-Do you like my whip? -I like your whip, baby

She's flirting with Jake, you know what I mean?

Does that look weird?

Any tall guys, can we...

Hi Mum, I'm having a great time at camp

This is for Brenda, love you Brenda

Miss you Brenda

Brenda, Brenda

You're going to compete team vs team

Just so you know, I only compete M vs M

Run to the hill

I'm so tired

I've got one here, I've got one - Hey guys, wait

Cheers, we were about to toast you

Oh god!