Original subtitles

Okay,

so I'm just going to walk you through the basic vision of the story. You guys

feel free to chime in whenever you want, okay?

So what I'm trying to do is create a metaphorical conversation between George

Orwell and Jack Kerouac.

down and out in Paris and London, was typed out on one long piece of paper.

Snappy, splenetic, high velocity.

At its core, it's a building's Roman, but not in the sad, sounder, smoking,

woman-hating way. It's hopeful.

And I know I put it on my application, but in terms of timeline, I'd want to

have the first draft done by July, and submit for notes from this esteemed

Royka, do a quick polish, and...

Hopefully, spend the rest of my summer in a state of bocchetto.

That's what the Japanese say.

Gaze out in the distance without thinking about anything in particular.

All right.

Very impressive, Anthony.

You know what?

Only my mother calls me Anthony.

Tony.

Okay, then.

Tony.

You'll be hearing from us soon.

And that they just sat there and stared at me.

I'm telling you, we are so fucking stupid.

I said I was going to write the whole thing on one piece of paper, and they

both... They were just nodding like I was explaining the rules of a brothel.

I already found this Upper West Side place right where Salinger grew up.

Fucking perfect.

Just got to tell my parents the fellowship takes place in New York, and

I'm out of here.

Okay, buddy.

You got to write in the book.

Yeah, but that's what I've been trying to do all year.

I swear, it's like God is finally starting to notice me.

Work for that surprise.

The work of what?

It's when God finds me.

It's when God finds me. That's a deal.

That sounds kind of scary.

Yeah, it's scary.

Excuse me, I need to speak with you.

Why don't you get the fuck out of here?

Is someone bothering you?

This is my cousin.

Oh, hey, I went to Dwight Englewood with your cousin, Nancy. Didn't you punch a

hole in the principal's door?

You know, well, that's changed since high school. I'm a writer now.

Oh.

Looks funny.

What's in your pan?

Oh, that's my dick.

Truth is, I'm actually getting a huge writing fellowship. I'm dropping out.

I'm moving to New York.

Sorry, do you think you're a writer or a liar?

Very funny.

Answer the question.

Come with me and see for yourself.

You know, I would, but we're spending the summer in Cape Cod, so... To be

honest, I don't know if this woman has your best interest at heart.

You do.

Enough that I think you deserve a proper valediction.

Goodbye, young lady.

I'm older than you. Goodbye, old lady.

Off to... Providence now.

Do you know the meaning of the word Providence?

Let's go!

So, I'll tell you what.

Come find me in September.

And you can tell me what all those big words mean.

Yeah, except for the fellowship thing.

Fellowship?

It's basically... Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me now. Let's wait till we're

with your mother.

She's not going to care.

Absolutely, she's going to care.

Are you kidding? She's your mother.

So I was telling Dad on the way back that Vassar gives up its fellowship

every summer to develop a piece of professional writing.

And, yeah, so I applied with a novel. A novel?

You're going to write a novel?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I did an interview and I told them what I wanted to do.

And, yeah, I think I got it.

Oh!

Right! Attaboy, Tony!

What do you mean you think you got it?

Well, it was heavily implied.

They said they were going to reach out right away.

Yeah, there it is! They will not say that if they're not serious.

How much money do you get?

I don't know, actually, but whatever it is, it's supposed to support me while I

write.

What's it about?

It was the, uh, what's the story?

Crime or romance?

No, no, it's more of like, well,

it's really just an idea for an idea right now.

But it's a buildings Roman story.

Buildings Roman?

Yes, coming of age.

No, I know what it means.

It's one word.

It's a German loan word.

You know, like kindergarten.

Yeah, I know.

I just hope you didn't put that on your application.

If it was in the pile on the fourth in the truck.

What? Yeah, I thought it was garbage. You leave a pile of records on the

living room floor. What am I supposed to do? They're rare records.

They're not even mine yet. Then don't leave them on the floor.

I will.

Not done with them. I was still checking them. I had to go get Tony. Oh, you're

going to blame Anthony for you being a slob. I'm not blaming him. I'm not

blaming anybody. I'm just asking you to please not throw away my record. Please.

Hello?

Tony.

Okay.

Hello? Anthony, this is Professor Dobson from the Gingrich Fellowship Committee.

How are you?

Hi, good. How are you?

Okay, great.

I'm saying you're not receiving the fellowship.

Terrific.

Thank you very much.

Right.

Who's that?

I got the scholarship.

Hey, you told him to.

Tony? Don't come in.

Dad wants to know if you want to go for ice cream.

No, I'm okay.

Okay.

Good job getting the prize.

Thanks.

I was under the cover of the throne.

And they played keep their feet.

We are here to tell you the truth.

Thank you.

Have a drink with me.

I can't.

at that beer, right?

What the fuck are you?

Please, pay your bill, and I will work on you another day.

All right?

But if we have another issue, lifetime ban.

Ten dollars.

What kind of fucking rip-off is that?

Well, that's the price for being good to the lady.

Now,

that's my friend, Mary.

Don't fucking touch me.

Get the fuck off of me.

Fuck you! Hey, sorry guys.

Yeah, you got robbed.

Hey, hey, where do you live?

New Jersey.

Not funny.

Anthony?

Hey!

What are you doing here?

I told you I was going to Provincetown for the summer.

What are you talking about?

When did you tell me that?

Are you fucking with me?

Okay,

look, honestly, I was so awake for that night, I don't remember anything.

If I was rude to you, if I acted like a jerk. No, no.

So, wait, you actually didn't know I was going to be here?

No, not at all.

I just won this writing fellowship. They told me I needed to come to Provincetown

for it.

And, uh, yeah, I literally just got here. So, I don't know what the fuck is

going on.

You don't think this is, like, a crazy coincidence?

What did Carl Jung call it?

Synchronicity.

You read Carl Jung?

Yeah.

When's your birthday?

Uh... June 25th.

You're a cancer.

I'm a what?

It depends on what happened to your eye.

Oh, the eye.

You know everyone calls me Tom.

Bob, you finished your homework.

We're having a party tonight.

Big White House at the end of commercial.

You can't tell I'm winking.

Hey, man,

I'm so sorry.

Can you... Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Hey,

I'm so sorry.

About yesterday.

Could I stay on that hammock for a few more days?

Yeah, bro.

Good roll, one hot, one cold, hold steady.

God damn it.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, faggot.

Yeah, catch up front. Yeah.

Hey,

this is filthy.

Come on.

understand that shut the fuck up my dad's like one of the best chefs in new

jersey oh your dad why don't you think so whatever

you know what i'm sorry brother your clothes help

me find these

and burn cream as well.

We'll leave you.

I'll tell you if it's up.

Come on, Daddy!

Thank you, child.

You're very welcome, my dear.

Hey.

You're fine, okay?

Uh, yeah.

You work in the kitchen before?

So you have the safety training, fire, everything.

Yeah, this is a big mistake.

I don't know.

We open Wednesday to Sunday. Start at 11 a.m. That means that you are here at 10

.45. 11 is late. Anyone late is fired. Okay?

Party? What party?

It's a girl from school.

Yeah? You got friends?

Probably.

You're trying to fuck her?

I guess.

You can't go alone.

Go alone, you look like a creepy lone rapist.

What? That's cool.

Yeah?

Take a knee.

You're on a writing boat to Baxter College, okay? Got it. And I don't work

any chips. Neither do you. You're a grad student, right? You know what that is?

Um, yeah. I said I got it. I'm writing.

Oh, but you can't say you're from Baxter because everyone else you would know you

are. You gotta say you're from Baxter, right?

Fuck, I'm done with that pussy.

You're my buddy, um... Tony.

It's, uh, Anthony.

Oh, you're the pizza guy with the big dick.

No, he doesn't work in a kitchen, he's a writer.

Oh.

Vicky.

Here's my line of stuff, you know what I mean?

Sure. Okay.

You gotta be careful with these, because, uh, we don't have a pizza guy.

Hey, you girls learn how to shuck an oyster?

What? They're aphrodisiacs.

An oyster. Do you like oysters?

We brought a... My mentor over there. We got a... They're aphrodisiacs.

So good.

He's a fucking liar.

Josh Johansson got that phone.

Our parents want to see you, Josh.

Yeah, I know.

We both got it. One guy, one girl.

Hey, they wanted me to be here.

This is where the teachers are. Whatever bullshit you told me you'd be.

Maybe you brought it, Johnny.

Who said that again?

Hey,

good.

Because we've got a future world famous writer here. Don't corrupt it.

This is Nancy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's going to be fun.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm this, uh, knucklehead's writer. I'm going to talk to the summer.

You're a professor?

Grad student, Harvard.

Don't get too fucked up, all right? Mm-hmm. Hey.

I'm confiscating it.

Traitor.

I'll be your best.

Okay.

Thanks for coming.

What the fuck are you doing?

That's a nice one to get.

Yeah.

Look at the taste out.

Hey, what the fuck? You owe me. Does it look like I'm trying to fucking hide it

from you? Like you wouldn't give it if I didn't. What the fuck, dude?

Oh, that's fucking disgusting.

Oh, fuck.

Yes, fuck yes, dude.

Thank you. Jesus fucking Christ. Hey.

Ew.

Sorry. Sorry. Jesus is awesome, sir.

Six and six.

He stole something.

You got anything?

A little fucking wine.

This is good.

Why are you going to do that? Why are you going to flip and groan?

Maybe you should stop being such a fucking prick and just enjoy things.

Fuck off.

Everyone coming out?

Larry? Hey, Larry's not coming. Why can't he come?

He's coming.

Come on, Larry. Come on, Larry. We can use him as bait. Use him as bait? Yeah.

You've gone to shit. I'm sorry. It's fucking impossible for me to get you

some fucking pussy. It's your demeanor that's a fucking problem. My demeanor?

I'm pleasant to be around. You know what you look like?

That. When you sit down, how are you?

What? I look great.

And by the way, you always look like two thumbs.

No. Two beautiful thumbs.

This is a good match.

I should have seen that.

I'm out of trains, Jack.

Flaco.

Flaco, wake up.

Trains, right now.

You can turn him down yourself, you know. He's running from you. All right.

Got it. Two cars and rings, one shot.

Jack. Jesus fucking Christ. Sorry.

Don't fucking hear this, baby.

We're just fucking... We took four fucking things on

the menu.

One of them fucking french fries.

Why you gotta act like you're taking bids at an auction?

So what is his name?

No clue.

Is he Spanish or Mexican?

Portuguese. Whatever he is, you know a guy's ass fucking beat when he was a

kid. He was late.

You watch it when anything's late.

Even for a minute.

What?

All

right,

come on. Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, you put something on my tail, all right?

Hey! Ow!

Come on, Jerry! Ow! Come on, Jerry!

Come on, Jerry!

Asshole! Fuck you!

Asshole!

I don't care.

All right, Tony, grow the fuck up.

Fuck.

You know I said I called you Faco, right? You know what Faco means in

Portuguese? It's that scene between your nuts.

You know in the middle? That thin little line?

Who's got a nip?

I don't mean to bother you, but my kid brother left a key in the car, and...

Would you mind if we walked along with you?

Maybe a Catalonian dialect where it's acrobat that jumps from ac to ac. It's

pretty weird. I'm sorry, mom. Call me Flaco.

What? She called me Flaco.

I fucked her.

She's dying for church.

I'm not going to fucking church.

As long as you live here, you are going to church.

I don't believe in God.

You don't believe in God?

No.

If I say you don't believe in me, but you're still believing, right?

And now, brothers, that you may, by my God, God Almighty, have compassion on

us, forgive our sins, and lead us to life.

Amen.

Just be a temporary.

What are you doing?

This guy's a fucking legend. He used to work on my thing.

Hey, uh, you hold him?

You got any money?

Yeah, I got fucking money.

You want it?

I got it, guy.

That's all I got.

Hi, Dad.

Tony, Jesus.

Tony, are you all right?

Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick. Are you okay? Are you all

right?

Yeah.

Okay, good. Where are you? Are you in the city?

I'll come right now. You want me to come right now? I'm going to leave right now.

I'll come get you.

Who is that? Tony.

He's okay.

What? Oh, my God. Anthony. No, no, no. It's okay.

It's all right.

Anthony, get on the next bus and come on the right.

Flaco, come here.

Come here, please.

Let me take your hand.

So watch.

You keep this towel between your hand and the blade. All right?

So we go in there.

Cut the mouth.

And then the shell will come out.

And then you cut the other side of the mouth.

Think well, please.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, Jeff.

I'm fucked up.

I thought it was Monday. It won't happen again, okay? I sweat.

Tony, thanks for covering, all right? Hey, no, I'll tell you that. I need deep

well, please. Yeah, yeah, no, I got it. No, I got my sugar for tonight.

Whatever you need, it's a good deep water.

I said I was sorry, all right? What, you want to fuck up your whole service? No,

you're late.

You should be fired.

You know, I'm giving you a chance to stay.

That's a gift. That's my gift to you. Tony, come on.

I want you to wash the fucking dishes.

I'm not fucking blaming him, all right? Tony, I swear, don't fuck with me, my

friend.

Fuck you.

I got scared, honestly, for a second.

Are we going to lose Jeff?

Is this fucking lunatic going to stab him through the fucking heart?

No, man.

I would have had his back, obviously. My blood is strong. I'm going to fuck the

kid up.

I'm glad it didn't happen. I didn't want to kill a man today.

You know what happened to me. You know if push comes to shove, I can take a

life. I can.

I'm powerful.

I seem, you know, it's kind of a camouflage.

You're banned.

What if I admit I'm here for a completely selfish reason?

I need a photo for the back of my book.

Of what?

Me.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Why?

Actually, it depends.

It's entitled, I Am Ugly, An Idiot's Journey.

My editor actually just shortened it to The Idiot.

Taken.

Yeah, I've been having that problem a lot lately.

I want you to take my photo because I like the way I feel when you look at me.

Who's Monday?

What?

Can we throw them out?

No.

Sorry.

What was that, man?

Sorry.

We'll be back.

Yeah, stop there.

It's okay if it's blurry. That's like literally how you see time.

Right, okay.

Who doesn't trust a guy with a cool car?

But it's not your car.

That was good.

Oh, yeah.

That was great.

That was good.

So how's your book?

Yeah, good.

Wake up in the morning, about alarm clock, take a cup of coffee, and I

immediately sit down with the typewriter.

I try to write as much as I can into my answer, which is usually around

lunchtime.

Then I walk to this little restaurant where they make this squid stew that

I've become completely addicted to.

After lunch, I take a walk along the beach by myself to collect my thoughts,

try to figure out what I'm going to write that afternoon.

I try to imagine interesting places I'll probably never go.

People I'll probably never meet.

And I get home and it's just the time.

So you don't get out much?

No, I barely leave the house.

What's the book about?

How about this?

When it's done, you can be the first to read it.

Hey, Freckle, I need that now. Now.

Seconds away, Chef.

Mixed up.

He was preparing a banquet for Louis XIV, where everything was going

to be perfect.

He had worked on the menu for months, he had the best kitchen staff in France,

and imported the wine from Italy, but the fish he

ordered didn't arrive on time, so he killed himself.

Killed himself?

Yep.

Why?

The fish he ordered didn't arrive on time.

Yeah, I got that.

Wow.

Why do you do it?

Sweetie share, won't we?

Guess I'll get used to this, too.

Fuck you!

You're a chef.

Well, yeah.

I graduated the CIA in New York.

You're in the CIA.

I graduated the CIA, I told you. The people that killed Kennedy.

Culinary Institute of America.

Oh. Right.

That's a pretty good school.

The best.

They should really change the name.

I don't think so.

Then you just came here?

Well, no, no.

I worked in many places before.

France, Spain, London.

Michelin stars line up at the door.

I wanted to have my own place.

My own lineup.

Took a loan and got the bleed.

Yeah, the green bean.

Always eat left.

Eat left.

Oh, fuck.

Why don't you even say, you know, thank God for your work, something like that?

What do you mean when you call Sal a sin eater?

All the darkness, all the rest of us can be in the light.

Yes.

Wow, a lot of people showed up.

Yeah.

You know what? This is how it used to be.

People just came out to repeat.

And I would pull out, you know, Howard Mitchell's book.

Page 58.

Clambake.

Clambake? Yeah.

We wrap everything in bundles and cook it right on the beach, you know.

In a few garbage cans.

The whole town used to show up for that.

They're not there anymore?

No.

Not anymore.

You have to leave me for that.

Speaking of which, I have to function this. I got it. No, no. Yeah, I got it.

Are you sure? Relax.

He counted.

Well, we heard a fucking gun go off and then watched you and a bunch of fishmen

have a bonfire.

Do you work here?

All right.

If I tell you the truth, you have to promise to not tell anyone, okay?

You're fine.

You don't understand. This guy, he's like a master.

He's idiosyncratic. He has an accent. He has, like, no friends.

And, uh, yeah, I came in here for a drink one night, and I saw him, and I

was like, oh, my God, I have to write a book about this guy.

So do you, like, cook things?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I cook.

Like what?

Like all sorts of fancy stuff.

Fancy stuff?

Yeah.

I've eaten here.

That's it.

Come to dinner.

When?

Friday.

And order the speckle.

So I figured out how we can get a line of people out the door.

You did all of this? First, the restaurant needs a sign.

The flags, everything cooked from scratch.

We have a knife that's sort of like, you know, incorporate the restaurant theme.

And then, you know, the lettering is sort of like a wooden, like the wood. I

don't know about these, you know.

Uh... The last one, you know, the sign.

Fuck the sign. What we should start with is a special.

Something we do every Friday, really fancy. You can park a lot of money for

it. We use local ingredients, looks good on the plate. Something sexy, makes you

want to fuck, you know? Something that people are going to come, they're going

to spend money on, they're going to tell their families about. Something,

something when you can do.

Right?

Something...

Like this.

And I, uh...

Wow.

What?

You know, uh... I didn't rule through these.

How old are you? Forty?

You're fine, dude. Come on. Go get the shit for this fucking lobster thermidor.

Dude, come on. I'm fucking serious. Hey, come on.

So, uh, we are adding a special tonight. It's a lobster thermidor.

You know, it's a brown lobster cooked in egg yolk and brandy served

in the shell.

part for ten dollars, okay?

Come on!

Flaco and I will prepare it and I will need a lobster from you, just enough to

put them.

Guys, one terminal, three cars.

Let's go. Let's go. Come on. Come here.

Okay, guys.

Yeah.

Hey.

Two

showers.

Two showers.

Put all of the miscellaneous food.

And cheese, I would say.

Twelve foam oysters, four hot rolls.

Sorry. Come on.

Okay. Three, thank you, Lord. Sir, it doesn't need more.

Come on.

Go, go,

go!

Excuse me, friend. We have a situation here in the kitchen.

A little fire, so totally under control, but I have to ask you to just leave the

building. Thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I've got smoke in my eyes.

What happened?

Nothing.

I found some oil in the back.

You don't know exactly what it is. I don't know.

Does food help?

No.

Want to get out of here?

I'm working at that guy's restaurant so I can sleep on his hammock.

And the reason I need to do that is because I didn't get that fellowship.

Hey.

So sorry.

You never work anywhere, did you?

No.

But I believe you.

That's the problem.

I believed, I believed.

Everything that you said to me.

I was going to offer you a job tonight.

I was going to make you my full-time guide and show you how to run the place.

I thought I was so lucky that I finally met someone I could trust.

That's how stupid I am.

I wanted a job.

I'm going back to college in September.

I'm a writer.

A writer.

I've never seen you write anything.

Yeah, that's because I've been working for you all summer so I can stay at your

house.

What do you think? I wouldn't work in a fucking kitchen for the rest of my life?

You can be anything you want to be.

But you know what you are?

What?

Nothing.

Well You quit

Maybe it's a good idea.

Black, come on. There's no one here.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Come on, he owes us.

He worked the whole fucking summer for free, right?

Fuck,

I'm gonna have to skip town.

get to New York or not?

Come on, maybe you've got someone in New York himself.

Someone to fall in love with.

New York time is bullshit.

I know.

I am mighty.

I'm a little bit dumb.

I got an idea.

A what?

You want to make some money?

We're having a clam bake!

Friday night, 5 p.m.

Clam bake on the beach, ladies. 5 p.m.

Clams, lobsters. Hey, we're having a clam bake Friday night on the beach.

Howard Mission clam bake, just like the old... Clam bake.

Stato's.

Friday night.

It's for charity, everybody. Let's save the flagship.

Let's save the flagship, ladies. Come on. There you go. There you go.

Let's save the flagship. It's for charity. Let's repair the damage to the

fire.

Let's repair the damage to the fire. Let's save the flagship.

All right.

Five dollars a plate.

I'm paying for charity.

Fuck that. Oh!

Better not set us on fucking fire this time. That's all I got to say.

You got any fat?

Oh!

I did not expect it to you here.

I already dug my hole.

You believe in a bro?

I looked up that word.

What?

Providence.

It means the protective attention of God.

Are you going to come find me in September or what?

Your girl is burning.

Black doesn't mean burn.

You did all this for these people.

So one chicken, one corn, two potatoes, and onion.

I think maybe Anthony is a better name.

I think for a man.

I like my mom.

down certainly the way

If you're fond of sand dunes and salty air

Great little villages here and there

You're sure to fall in love with old Cape

Cod That old Cape Cod

If you like the pain I've loved you

There by a window with an ocean deep

You should have fallen in love with old Cape

Cod

If you spend an evening you want to stay

watching the moonlight on Cape Cod Bay,

you should have.

If you spend that evening, you want to stay

on Cape Cod. Watching the moonlight on Cape Cod.

This is honest.

Sorry,

what is your name?