Original subtitles

They gotta have it. It's like biological hormones and pheromones and whatnot.

I mean, haven't you heard of the freshman 15?

Yeah. The girl gains 15 pounds in her first year of college, right? What? No.

The 15th thing for the 15 guys, they must have sex with their freshman year.

pretty sure you're wrong about that.

Hello, hello.

What do we have here?

Hey, babes. How's it going?

We're going to a party. How would you lucky ladies like to be our date?

The blonde was in the news.

Don't you think she was a little too old for us, Jude? Dude, 40 -year -olds are

just teens with decades of experience.

All right, what if they had said yes?

They'd be pretty disappointed when they found out we didn't actually have a

party to go to.

Well, actually... Oh, man.

Surprise!

Sorry, man, I had to promise not to blow out the candle.

Happy birthday.

Make a wish.

Maybe it'll come true.

Yay!

Sodas and pizza by the pool.

Can you help me?

Sorry, I need someone to tie the back of my top.

Yeah, sure.

Let me help you with that, sweetheart.

Honey, why don't you go downstairs and help entertain the guests?

There you go.

He's on the Fulbright Fellowship Board.

And we've been pals forever.

Boy. I could tell you.

Anyway, he's a good guy to know. I could give him a call if you'd like.

Mark.

Uh, yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

Hey, Mark, if you need anything, anything at all, don't have the hits

Actually, I was wondering.

Yo, you see Melanie's new bikini?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to go see if your mom needs help.

Okay, thanks again, Randy. Who's that dweeb?

I work for my mom at the aquarium. Cool, man. Anyway, listen, here's the plan.

Saturday night, get your mom out of the house. We raid your dad's liquor cabinet

and bite over Melanie and whichever friend is lowest in. I don't know if

bottles are any good anymore. They haven't been touched in like ten years.

scotch doesn't go bad. It ain't like milk.

You think everybody had fun, don't you?

Uh -huh.

Oh, the pizza was outstanding.

No more little Gino's. It is Vitelli's from now on.

What did you think of your present?

Hello.

Earth to Mark.

Sorry, Mom. I'm writing a really intricate line of code right now, but I

great birthday.

Thank you.

You know, there's a church social this weekend.

I think there'll be a lot of nice girls there.

Maybe we should go check it out?

Okay, Mom.

Okay, well, have a birthday, baby.

I hope you had fun.

How we doing there, Mom?

Mom?

Almost ready.

Thanks again for taking her out, Randy. Oh, happy to do so.

Ta -da!

You look incredible.

Yeah, really, really pretty.

All right, we will be home before midnight.

No worries, it's cool. Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. I'm safe and sound

right here.

You ever had a Harvey Wallbanger?

Yeah, that's all you got?

My dad wasn't much of a drinker.

How do you make an old fad?

Not with peppermint schnapps and amaretto.

Okay.

I've got an idea.

Get some ice cream.

Ice cream?

Yeah. Get some ice cream.

I got mint chocolate chips.

Your drinks, milady.

These are really popular in France right now.

He watches those kinds of videos on his computer.

Hours. He clears the search history, but I know.

You sneak through his laptop?

Mark's a good kid. I mean, he's going through some...

Big changes in his life. Lots of heavy stuff.

And I just think that he's at that age where he needs some space.

That's soft.

Yeah, they're dumb.

Maybe he could use a male role model in this.

Do you know what, Randy? I couldn't agree more. You do?

Mm -hmm.

This is great because... So I made a phone call, and I totally took care of

Called who?

Who the hell is that?

I don't know.

Hey. Hey, Mark.

Hey, Deacon Williams. My mom's actually not here right now. Oh, I'm here to see

you, my boy, because I understand you're heading off to college in the fall.

Princeton. That's right.

But this really isn't a good time. Your mother asked me to stop by and see if I

could offer some wisdom or advice about the changes you're like. Oh, you have

company. Yeah, just a few friends. Well, perfect.

Because I brought Bible trivia.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Go.

The deacon said he had a wonderful time with you last night.

I'm glad someone did.

Mark, I need you to go to the hardware store and pick me up a new towel rack.

The one I bought is the wrong size.

Okay. And pick us up a couple of smoothies, my treat?

Mmm.

Oh.

Excuse me, can you help me?

What is GPM?

I'm sorry, do you work here?

No, but I think I can help you.

GPM is your flow rate, gallons per minute.

This has an eco flow, it's a 1 .5 GPM.

It'll save you money, but there's no... There's no oomph.

Exactly.

My mom has this massager.

It's got a strong pulsating spray.

She swears by it. Is your mother single?

Yeah.

Then this will do just fine.

Thank you.

What's your name?

What? Excuse me?

I'm Carissa Kensington, and you are?

Mark. Mark Ritz.

Well, thank you for your assistance inside, Mark.

No problem.

I'm just terrible at this handyman stuff.

I'll probably put it in and it'll still leak.

Well, they make them pretty intuitive nowadays. You might have to seal the

with plumber's tape. Well, actually, I was hoping you could do me a really big

favor and install it for me.

Would you mind?

I live just up the hill.

Uh, well, I'm supposed to go back and help my mom.

We'll pay you for your time.

Princeton. Wow.

You must have gotten good grades.

Uh, valedictorian.

Yeah, I got a full scholarship, actually. Wow, impressive.

All I ever did was party with my friends through high school. I knew what that

would get you.

Uh, what?

An Arizona state degree and a very rich ex -husband.

Well, it seems to be working now.

Hmm.

Better make sure.

Would you care to test it with me?

Get back in there, dude. She's waiting for you.

Go.

Now.

I won't, babe.

Unless you want me to.

Where have you been all day?

Just out.

Did you put up that towel rack for me yet?

I'm about to.

These are pretty.

Why are you so giddy today?

Am I?

No reason.

Just a good day, I guess.

Oh, I invited Wally over.

I hope you don't mind.

No, I don't. Liar, liar, liar.

It's true.

Three times, I'm telling you, it was incredible.

Liar! No, it finally happened.

I feel like a 5 ,000 -pound weight was just lifted off me. Okay, so what's this

hot, rich, make -believe nympho's name?

Carissa Kenzie. Yep, totally a fake name. And how old is she?

Like, 40.

40?! You're the one that said that banging a 40 -year -old is like doing it

two 20 -year -olds.

Yeah, I know I said that, but what about Melanie?

I don't know. I'm with Carissa now. She's taking me out.

What?

Yeah.

Watch out, three in a row.

Did you find it?

Yeah, it was in my pants.

Wow.

Don't you look nice.

Where are you off to tonight?

Going out on a date.

Oh, with that Melanie girl?

No, with someone else.

Who?

Someone else.

Mark.

Um, if you're not going to tell me who you're going on a date with, then you

can't use the car.

Well, I don't need the car.

Gotta go.

I'm just gonna... Yeah.

Nice car for a high school student.

Computer science for information management.

So you want to be like one of those IT guys?

The nerd patrol that'll come and pitch a laptop?

More like a software developer.

Interesting.

I can't believe they didn't card me.

Tell me more about this computer program.

Oh, well, I've been working on this app for the past year.

My little man.

Made it for my mom for after I leave for college. It's a cross between a

lifestyle app and a personal assistant for mothers.

How to reset the universal remote control. Yeah, it's supposed to help

everyday tasks and problems.

Uh, for example, how much chlorine to put in the pool, or where do I find my

in the parking lot?

How to install a shower massager?

Exactly.

I think it's a million -dollar idea.

I love it. Really? I do.

In fact, I actually have a friend who works at Intel Digital Lab.

Oh, IDL, yeah, they're huge. I can see him being quite interested.

That'd be awesome.

Now, if I do this...

I expect something big in return.

I need to go powder my nose.

I'll be right back.

Run, kid.

Run.

Are you talking to me? Get out while you still can.

Trust me, she's bad news.

I paid the check.

You ready?

Yeah.

You know how to work a stick?

Sure. Good.

So do I.

I suppose since you are all of 18 years old that I don't need to know who you

were out with until 12, 15 a .m., but I would appreciate a call that lets me

know you're okay.

Mark, I was worried to death.

Sorry.

I understand that you're almost out of the house and you need your space, but I

worry about you.

You haven't been acting like yourself lately.

I just want to make sure you haven't fallen in with the wrong crowd. Wrong

crowd? Seriously, nobody's doing drugs.

Marijuana's a drug? I'm not smoking pot.

Cocaine?

Is that why you're so happy and full of energy lately?

No, I gotta go.

Put your bowl in the sink, young man.

Um, I'm gonna pick up some chicken after work. Will you be home for dinner?

No, probably not.

These suits are pretty expensive.

Don't worry.

You'll work it off.

Can you have it ready by tomorrow?

Sure. I'll put a rush on it. Thanks, Jimmy.

Today I thought we'd hang by the pool.

I bought you these.

Though you probably won't be wearing them much.

This house is amazing.

What did your ex -husband do?

He used to be a broker.

What does he do now?

Warm food.

I'm sorry, whenever... That's okay.

I thought you were divorced.

No.

Trophy widow.

Five years now.

Sorry.

Okay.

Hey!

Want to rub some lotion on my back? Yes, please.

This place is incredible.

What's in that shed over there?

Oh, that's my torture chamber.

I'm kidding.

It's an outdoor sauna.

Mom, a little privacy. I'm using the bathroom.

Okay.

I'll wait.

Okay, you're just being ridiculous.

Really? Too much to pick up?

Close.

Carissa?

Did you not get my text? I thought we were skipping tonight.

Well, I thought... Hey, please, please come on in.

Mark.

You must be Tanya.

Hi. Hi.

This is for you. Thank you.

Who are you?

I'm Carissa.

Kensington?

This wine is really good, Carissa.

Oh, thank you.

That's my favorite Bordeaux.

Oh,

that's strong.

The

steak is

delicious. Not bad if I say so myself.

And I do.

So, um, Tanya, have you tried that new app that your brilliant son here

App?

Mm -hmm.

Hmm.

No, I don't believe I have. Have I, Mark? Oh, it's supposed to be a

Yes, well, we are quite good with secrets and surprises now, aren't we?

it's very inventive.

And... Who knows, if it takes off, he might be able to just skip college and

start his very own Fortune 500 company. Skip college?

Well, hasn't Mark told you he has a full scholarship to Princeton?

Not exactly something you'd skip.

Right, no, I didn't mean to imply that... Do you have any idea how hard it

get into a school like that? No, Mom, she wasn't saying... I'm speaking, young

man.

The hours he has put into studying, essays, science fairs, volunteer work.

Would you really encourage him to just throw all of that away? No, I'm not

throwing it all away. That's an incredibly irresponsible thing for you

suggest. No one's suggesting anything, Mom.

Randy, can you help me out here a little? You really do have some nerve.

Who do you think you are? Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. You're damn

you offended me. And while we're at it, let me be very clear. I do not approve

of whatever this is. Mom, I can tell you right now. I'm speaking.

Miss Kensington, my son may look like a man to you, but I assure you he is just

a boy.

Now, with all due respect, Mrs. Richards, you're very wrong.

He is very much a man.

A man who is more than capable of making his own decisions.

Don't you think it's about time you cut those apron strings?

Your audacity astounds me.

You may very well be the same age as me, but you are not his mother.

You don't get to suddenly show up and start making decisions and passing

judgment.

Now, I don't know you, Miss Kensington, but it seems to me that you are simply a

lonely middle -aged woman who is out to satisfy some thick sexual thrill, and I

forbid you to drag my son into your perverse game.

Boy, that mother of yours is a real piece of work.

I'm sorry. She's just protective.

Mother sharks aren't that vicious, and they eat their young.

Can you believe the nerve of this woman?

The galls suggest I'm too clingy?

I'm the one letting him go clear across the country to go to college, aren't I?

What would an 18 -year -old boy want with a work like that anyway?

Good night, Mark.

Wait, wait.

Are we good?

Well, it's just really upsetting to know that when push comes to shove, you fail

to come to my defense. I tried. Yeah, no, boys try.

Men do.

A real man sees what he wants and he takes it.

He doesn't ask permission from his mommy.

You're right.

Do you even know what you want, Laura?

Now before I get back here, I'm going to spit his butt out.

We are going to have a conversation about this because I am not letting him

This is all I could find.

I hope it's all right.

Are you ready to try something a little more killing?

Isn't that what we've been doing?

Tap, boy.

I'm talking to you. I'm in danger.

Dangerous is my middle name.

Oh, yeah?

Thank you.

That was intense.

Give him his privacy.

He's a good kid.

He should be more trusting.

Wow Oh my god

That's

the way to wake up in the morning you just know you're gonna have a good day

What do you want to do today?

Your choice.

Uh, you mean, like, what position or what room?

I think we should take a breather. A breather? Who needs a breather?

Just a couple of hours.

How about the beach?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sex on the beach, that sounds cool. Oh, my God, you are

insatiable.

Are you expecting someone?

No.

Why don't you jump in the shower and get dressed?

Okay.

Yeah?

I wanted to stop by on my way to work.

I just think we got off on the wrong foot.

Are you here to apologize?

Well, I can't say I'm all right with you seeing my son, but I believe we both

have something in common.

Is that so?

We're both widows.

Mm -hmm.

I understand the loneliness and what you're going through, and you know what

feels like to lose someone you care about and love so much.

I do.

Well, let's cut the crap. You're here for Mark, right?

Are you going to save your little boy from me?

Mommy to the rescue?

Excuse me?

Empathetic. Go home, Tanya. We're done here.

Excuse me?

We're not done here. I want to see my son. Get him right now. I don't like

I don't like you one bit, Tanya.

You're a... Self -righteous, condescending bitch who's afraid of

grow up simply because she's afraid of being alone.

You have no idea what you're talking about. Don't I?

Mark is my son.

I'm his mother. Don't you... Oh, please spare me the sentimental family bond

crap.

I came here to make amends.

Clearly, that was a mistake.

Mark's not an idiot.

You know, in a couple of weeks, he's gonna toss you aside and then you'll be

alone.

Possibly.

Or... More likely, after a month of me screwing his brains out day and night,

I'll be able to convince him to do anything I want.

Including cutting you out of his life for good.

Have a nice day.

Mmm. Smells good.

Cream? Please.

Mmm.

Blueberry's my favorite.

Almost as good as mom's.

You know, Mark, I was thinking... Maybe you should move in.

And I've got this big house all to myself, and...

Well, it would get you out from under your mother's prying eye.

Um... I don't know if that's such a good idea.

Why not?

Don't you like it here? Yeah, yeah, it's just... My mom still needs me, and...

So what's the point? Summer's over in a month. Over? Yeah, I'm gonna have to

move all my stuff to go to college.

I don't want to move it twice.

You know, I think we should skip the beach today.

What did I say?

Yo, this place is sick.

Let's go.

How many bedrooms? And more importantly, how many bedrooms have you done? Did

you just drive?

So what'd you do? Did you eat all our high -fiver yogurt?

Did you Teebo over episodes of NCIS?

No.

Did you ask her to take out her dentures when she was... All I did was imply

that we were having a summer fling. You don't tell that to a chick, especially

one who's only got so many good years left. She wanted me to move in with her.

To the pleasure dome? That's great.

My mom would kill me.

Look, you gotta leave the nest at some point, so it's a few weeks early.

I think she's gonna break up with me.

I got it. We buy her flowers and butterscotch coffees from the five

She's an evil, conniving, backstabbing man eating tramps.

Randy, I'm worried about my son.

I mean, he has no idea that he's under this vicious siren spell.

Siren? Yeah, is that a thing?

Daughters of the Greek god Achilles?

Mermaid -like creatures who seduce young sailors with song, making them crest

their ships in the rocky cliffs?

Uh -huh, that's right.

Anyway, I've got to find a way to snap Mark out of this trance.

Or... Or what?

Nothing. It's not my place. Oh, come on, Randy. Of course it's your place.

Clearly what I'm doing is not working, and you always tell me the truth.

So what should I do? I think you should allow Mark to make his own mistakes.

He's a good kid, all thanks to you. You're a loving, caring mother, and he

the person he is because of you.

But, Tanya, you can't protect him from all the dangers of the world.

Sometimes you've got to let the baby get burned by the iron if he's ever going

to learn and get strong and, you know, grow up.

Really? That's your big advice?

What? How can you take that insane woman's side? No, I don't think I was...

is horrible advice.

What kind of an idiot lets a baby play with an iron?

The next thing you'll be telling me is I drove him to her. That it's my fault.

Unbelievable. I'm just thinking that if you wouldn't have made it so difficult

for Mark to be independent, he might have stayed closer to home.

Who knows?

You know, maybe he would have gotten together with that girl from the party.

Melanie? The girl in the bikini.

Well, anything's better than that woman.

I'm going to call and invite her over.

No, Tonya, that's what I'm talking about. You're going about this all

You're right.

I'm going to send her an email from Mark's email address.

What? No, that's even... Thanks for the advice.

Tonya!

Hey, I was getting worried. Did you get my text?

I did.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to say those things to upset you.

No.

I certainly don't want this to end.

It's been the best time of my life. I really, really like you.

A lot.

A whole lot.

I know you do.

So, can I come over tonight?

Gosh, do you think your mommy will let you? What does my mom have?

I thought you were mad about me going to Princeton.

Don't be silly. Of course I want you to go to college, Mark.

But only if that's what you want.

I fear you make all of your decisions based on what the Queen decrees.

I know she's intrusive. That's a very nice way of putting it.

I'd use controlling or manipulative.

That's not exactly fair. My mom's supportive and not as domineering as you

her out to be.

Mark, downstairs!

What was that?

Uh, nothing.

Right!

No, just hold on.

What? Uh, your really pretty friend Melanie's here to see you.

Hi.

Hey, sorry about that.

Hey, Caritha?

Hey, Luke.

Maybe you can come over.

But you're going to have to promise me. No, that's okay.

My mom needs me for something.

We can get together tomorrow?

Are you sure? I'm going to be up pretty late tonight.

Tomorrow's fine.

Gotta go.

That was very delicious, Mrs. Richards.

It was my pleasure.

And thanks for inviting me, Mark.

Mm -hmm.

So, Melanie, where will you be attending college?

I've been accepted at Columbia.

Oh, an Ivy League school as well.

You two will be close together.

I have a really good idea.

You should rent a moving truck and drive across country together.

Don't you think that'd be kind of fun, Mark? Melanie, would you like some

dessert? Uh, yeah, sure.

Oh, I didn't make any.

But you guys should go get some ice cream.

You can take my car.

My treat.

It was lovely seeing you again, Melanie.

You too.

And you two kids have fun.

Stay out as long as you like.

I had to revoke her Facebook privileges because she kept posting baby pictures

on my wall.

Wow. I thought my mom was bad.

No, she means well. She just has no boundaries.

Yeah, sounds like she needs a hobby or a boyfriend.

Actually, there's this guy she works with, Randy. You met him at my birthday

party. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Really cool guy. He used to be really good friends with my dad.

Um, I like him, but the guy won't make a move to save his life.

The hypocrisy is pretty thick out here, huh?

Are you ever gonna kiss me?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I want to. I mean, it's just, uh, I've kind of been seeing

You have a girlfriend?

Not exactly.

Just like this little thing.

Let's go.

Okay.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Cool. Okay.

Good night.

You're home already.

Yeah.

Did you have fun?

Yeah. What did you guys do?

We went and had ice cream.

Your treat.

We went to the beach and, I don't know, it was fun.

Do you like her?

Um, we're just friends.

Why?

Because she's awfully cute.

It's complicated, alright?

I think you're so special, don't you?

She can have anything or anyone that you want.

Listen to me, listen to me.

Mark is mine.

And you may never, ever see him again.

Do you understand that?

Never.

Just in case you forget.

Did you hear that?

Hey. This one, though, they're not for you.

Okay.

So, um, do you think maybe you'll call... you'll call Melanie today?

I might.

But please don't meddle in this.

Okay, just once, let me do something on my own.

Yeah. Um... Hi. Hi, Sam. Hey, Randy, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah. To be continued.

To be continued.

You're here to tell me that I'm right?

Your plan worked.

Mark and Melanie hit it off last night.

That wasn't my plan. Well, you gave me the idea, so they're hitting it off, and

no more Carissa.

You know what, Tonya? I'm done playing your manipulative game.

Look, Mark is going to be out of the house soon, and he's moving on with his

life, and you know what?

So am I.

I don't know what you're talking about, Randy. I think you try to control

everything in your life. Ever since Hal's been gone, I've been there for you

Mark. I'm trying to fill this hole in your life the best I can.

You find a way to somehow push everyone who cares about you away.

You obviously don't know what you want.

Or maybe you do.

It's not me.

I really don't know where this is coming from.

I think you're just overreacting. Why don't you just...

Calm down and take the muffin. I don't want your damn muffin.

I'm tired.

It's been ten years.

Way too long.

It's my fault. I should have said something years ago. I'm sorry.

But I don't want to be your safety net anymore.

Throw me a soda, will you?

Yes.

I don't get it.

I thought we had a good time. I don't know why she's not picking up. She's a

pig. I'm not a pig. I'm into Melanie.

So you're just going to dump the woman who stole your flower? That's it? Dude,

already feel like a fleece from making out with Melanie last night. I need to

break it off with Carissa. So that's it?

You're done?

Yeah, completely.

Carissa. I just love this place.

All the marine life.

So impressive.

Who's this big guy?

That's MC.

MC?

MC Hammer.

Ed.

Yeah, all the fish in the tank are named after recording artists.

Oh, wow.

That one there is the Great Barry White.

Fancy one shaking her tail. That's Sharkira.

Rips don't lie.

And, oh, is the ray named Sugar or Chunk?

Sting.

Very clever.

What's that?

Oh, that guy here? Yeah.

That's a trident.

Neptune, don't touch it. They're very sharp. It's the weapon of Poseidon and

Neptune. Okay. Pretty cool. Yeah.

Tanya's office is down the hallway to the right. Oh, um, well, actually,

I was, um,

trying to hear from you.

It was pretty obvious at the end of the other night that neither one of us is

having our needs met by the Richards family.

You know what it's like to give someone all you love and have them inject you.

Could you please leave?

What? Could you leave? Wait, are you kidding me?

Yeah, I'm... Don't, don't bother.

Go ahead.

Can I help you?

Damn. He wasn't lying.

Who?

Mark.

Mark was... I'm Mark's friend Walter.

It's very nice to meet you.

Okay? Yep.

All right, what are you... I mean, did Mark bend you? Yeah. He confided in me

that you two were on the out, so I figured I'd...

Come over and lend a shoulder to Kryon or, you know, any other services you

might need.

He tells you we were breaking up? Yeah, he's crazy. I don't understand why you

would trade in for the newer model when you have a vintage classic at home, you

know?

Aren't you charming?

Women just love to be referred to as vintage.

Why don't you go ahead and make yourself comfortable?

Um, so I guess I should just tell you about myself.

I come from strong Dutch and German duck.

Come on.

Hey.

Hello, Melanie?

I can't really see you.

Mark, I really can't talk right now.

I've been trying to call you all day. Yeah, I know.

Do you want me to come by? I can bring you some soup. No, no, no, it's okay.

I'm not sure.

I don't think that we should see each other anymore.

What? Why?

Sorry, I really have to go.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey, what's up? Great news.

My friend from Intel Digital is coming over tonight.

You ready to pitch your app?

Tonight's not really a good night for me. Can we do it some other time? Mark,

asked to do me this favor.

This time's very valuable.

I know.

I'm sorry.

It's just... See, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

You're never going to get anywhere in life unless you get over your childish

fears and go after what you want.

Do you mind coming in here and chatting with me for a minute? I can't. I'm in a

rush. Are you going to see Melanie?

Oh. So where did you get those new... Never mind.

Listen, have I been overstepping?

Ma, we can talk when I get back, but I won't be out that long.

Promise?

I promise.

A little reminder when to put oil in our car, when to buy our vitamins, when our

favorite TV shows are on. But the best part is the ad potential.

My little man will make suggestions to the user throughout the day.

So, hey, there's a new low -calorie yogurt at the supermarket.

You should pamper yourself today.

This spa has seaweed rats.

And, well,

basically, that's my ad.

Bravo. Very impressive presentation, Mark. Thank you.

Hard to believe you're just out of high school.

It's a million -dollar idea, isn't it? It is. So, what do we do now?

Well, Montgomery Technologies just put out their version of your app last

You had a great idea, but they beat you to the punch, kid.

They've had years of market research and development.

By the time we got your app up and running, it would be obsolete.

Well, thank you for taking the time to meet with me. You've got top -notch

programming skills.

When you're ready to join the working world...

I better be your first phone call.

Carissa?

Always a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming all the way out here, Trevor.

Helen says you're playing tennis Sunday. Maybe I'll see you at the club. Okay,

great. I know the way out. Drive safe.

I should be going, too.

Wait.

You're leaving?

I got us some nice champagne. I thought we would celebrate.

Celebrate what?

The fact that I just spent six months developing something that I could have

bought for $1 .99. Mark, he just offered you a job.

You're going to be working for one of the top software developers in the

Yeah, in four years. Well, I really don't understand why you're going to

to get a job that you can have today.

I don't know. I just... I need to go away and be my own man and experience

for myself, you know?

You want to party and get laid? No, that's not what I was saying.

It's okay.

I get it.

You need to, uh... sow your wild oats, as they say.

Just like our little sling.

It'll be... one of your many adventures.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, then let's toast to that.

Okay.

Grandmothers. Champagne, please.

Yeah.

It really does open the pores and help to relax the

muscles.

Don't you think?

Why are you doing this?

Oh, sweetheart, I'm not doing anything.

You're the one doing it to me.

Don't you see that?

Stringing me along, making me believe that you want to be with me and really,

really be with me.

All the while just using me and...

Waiting to leave me until you're done getting what you came for.

Please let me go.

No.

I didn't let my husband leave me for that tight -ass trainer.

He was old and wrinkly and useless in bed.

What are you doing?

This is all I am to you, right?

A little plaything.

I need your help satisfying that teenage libido of yours.

Here's your most important life lesson, sweetheart.

Women are not trophies.

They're not to be traded like playing cards.

They're not levels of a video game.

Get off of me.

Now stay still.

And don't make me hurt you more.

We're going to fill it in.

Blocked.

reach the Walter Brownstein Experience.

For tickets and directions, please leave your name and number. Thank you.

Hey, Walter, this is Tanya. Have you seen or talked to Mark? He didn't come

last night and, well, I'm a bit worried. So if you could call me back ASAP,

please.

Thanks.

I'm sure he's all right.

You want some?

Yes.

Hi, Randy.

Sorry to interrupt you, but, um... Have you spoken to Mark in the last 24 hours?

I have not.

Yeah, well, he's mad at me, too.

It's just not like him to completely ignore my calls and texts.

If you talk to him, would you please tell him that his mother is very, very

worried?

Yeah.

Thanks, Randy.

35 missed calls from Mom.

This bitch is crazy.

I'm at Carissa.

Come get me.

Who is

it?

Tonya Richards. I'm here to pick up my son.

Oh, hello, Tonya.

Did you bring muffins?

I'm in a bit of a rush, thank you.

Have a cocktail. I don't want to have a cocktail.

Please send my son out now. Well, Mark, he's a little hung up right now.

But, hey, do you mind if we talk?

I mean, you know, just until Mark's ready.

Kind of important.

Fine.

Right this way.

Napa Opus One.

It doesn't get much better than that.

Can I get you a glass? No, thank you. Water it down.

No, thank you.

John, you have every reason to hate me.

And then come.

But I am about to give you a very rare opportunity. If you're selling

I'll pass.

I prefer not to look like a whore.

We're about to find out how much you really love your son. I can save you the

time. I love my son more than you can imagine.

No matter what he has done unconditionally. I don't believe in

love.

Even a mother has a child with a selfish reason to have something love her back.

What if that child that she gave birth to one day grows up and

rejects her?

Stop loving her.

I'm done with this conversation.

And I'm leaving.

Mark!

Honey, come on, let's go.

Put those on if you ever want to see your son again.

You really must think I'm crazy.

On the contrary.

I think I am.

Mark, my poor baby.

He's been in here almost a day.

I don't know how much more he can take.

Why are you doing this? He is a child, for God's sake.

Now, now, settle down.

I thought you cared about him. Oh, but I do.

That's why I'm going to give you a chance to save him.

There's one round in this gun.

Mark's a death's door. Now, you could either put him out of his misery, or you

could use the blood on yourself and...

I'll let Mark go.

Why?

Why are you doing this?

Mark and I had something very special, Tonya, and you went and screwed it all

up.

Now I have to clean up this mess, and I hope he damned if I'm going to be the

one to take the blame for what you've done.

Your son tried to leave me, and I couldn't let that happen, Tonya. Do you

understand me? He left me no choice.

He did this!

Speaking. So what's it going to be?

Mark dies, or you die.

Seems to me that either way, I win and you lose.

What do you say we just put this whole mess behind us and get on with our

Well, I mean, at least my life.

You really are the goddamn devil, aren't you?

Okay.

Well, I'll be waiting while you sweat out your decision. I know it's a tough

one.

Come on.

Mark, don't fall asleep now.

Stay with me, honey.

I'm going to get you out of here.

I don't know how, but I'm going to get you out of here.

Pick up, pick up. Come on, Tanya, pick up.

Can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message. No, no, no, no, no,

that's not...

Come on.

Stick that pretty little head in here.

Mark it.

Mark it.

Stay with me, Mark it.

Come on, baby.

Oh, you do.

When you... When your father died, I...

I was just so terrified of what was happening to you.

I have been so, so selfish.

And a coward.

Baby, I just... I just got... I thought I was...

you from the dangers of the world, but I... No, I'm sorry.

But I did it myself.

And I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Your mom's about to kick the shit out of this bitch.

That's it, Mommy.

Who the hell are they?

Well,

look who had some balls after all.

Watch your head.

Watch your head.

Stay with me, Mark. Don't go.

You're going to be all right.

I'm going to get you.

We're going to get you to a hospital.

All right, that should be everything.

All right.

Thanks for your help, man.

Dude, it's still not too late. I could put in a good word at the community

college. I'll see you at Christmas. Okay.

Um,

I could make you guys some sandwiches.

We have fruit and chips and soda.

We'll be fine.

Okay, well, take care of him, huh?

All right, I'll try.

Don't let him get in any trouble.

I just don't know what I'm going to do without my little man.

Well, I'm sure your new one will pick up the slack.

I'll do my best. Thanks for everything, man. Yeah, you got it.

Okay, well, just keep it under 60 and call us as soon as you get over the

Arizona border.

Call me whenever you want.

Okay. Love you, Mom.

I love you, too.

Bye. Bye.

You'll be okay.

Walter, would you like to stay for lunch? Oh, I can't. I'm going to the

My girlfriend's picking me up. Girlfriend?

Oh, look at you.

Oh, and there she is now.

Did you guys know that seniors get half off on matinees? It's awesome.

All right, baby.

If the feeling is right for you, which one of us can make a move?

And don't fix what ain't broken, no.

If the feeling is right for you, which of us can...

You go and get tough from a life that you left behind.

Gotta put it out of your mind.

No, it's gonna stop us now.

They can never hold us down.

Gotta get up that mountain and go left and count you out.

Just pull your ground.

If the building is right for you, which one of us will make a move?

fix what ain't broken right for you