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We are gathered here today
to immortalise in song
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the life and untimely death
of a great legend.
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-Rango.
-So sit back, relax,
4
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:30,037
and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn
and assorted confections
5
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:34,919
while we tell you the strange
and bewildering tale of a hero
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00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:38,469
who has yet to enter his own story.
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Crunchy, creamy, cookie,
candy, cupcake.
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Okay, everybody,
let's take it from the top.
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The stage is set,
the night moist with apprehension.
10
00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:08,283
Alone in her chamber, the princess
prepares to take her own life.
11
00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:12,879
"lt is far better to nourish worms
than to live without love."
12
00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,918
She reaches for the poisoned chalice.
13
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:18,338
Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio
plots his ascension to the throne
14
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,847
while her ageing father lies gravely ill.
15
00:02:21,393 --> 00:02:23,516
"Yes, I am gravely ill."
16
00:02:24,813 --> 00:02:26,852
"Hark, who goes there?"
17
00:02:27,149 --> 00:02:29,521
'Tis l, the much-anticipated hero,
18
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:32,272
returning to rescue
his emotionally unstable maiden!
19
00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:34,396
Unhand her, you jailers of virtue,
20
00:02:34,531 --> 00:02:37,366
or taste the bitter sting
of my vengeance!
21
00:02:38,452 --> 00:02:40,361
The sting of my...
22
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,285
Dr Marx?
23
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:47,037
Dr Marx,
I'm not getting anything from you.
24
00:02:47,169 --> 00:02:51,036
People, we've talked about this.
Acting is reacting.
25
00:02:51,173 --> 00:02:53,628
Victor, you were wooden!
There, I said it.
26
00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:55,550
Mr Timms? You were good.
27
00:02:57,054 --> 00:02:58,714
Perhaps a little too good.
28
00:02:59,265 --> 00:03:03,049
What's that, Victor? My character's
undefined? That's absurd.
29
00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:08,144
I know who I am.
I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero.
30
00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:12,188
Every story needs a hero.
I mean, who else is better qualified
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00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,938
to bask in the adulation
of his numerous companions?
32
00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:36,841
The stage is waiting.
33
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,973
The audience thirsts for adventure.
34
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,851
Who am I?
35
00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:46,389
I could be anyone.
36
00:03:46,897 --> 00:03:51,309
I could be the sea cap'n
returning from a mighty voyage
37
00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:53,601
to reclaim his mechanical arm!
38
00:03:55,156 --> 00:03:59,236
Or I could be the rogue anthropologist,
battling pythons down in the Congo!
39
00:03:59,368 --> 00:04:01,075
Down, Chongo, down!
40
00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:04,077
And if you desire romance,
41
00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:08,707
I will become the greatest lover
the world has ever known!
42
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:19,763
I couldn't help but notice you
noticing me noticing you.
43
00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:23,589
You know, the womens find me
uncomfortably good looking.
44
00:04:23,726 --> 00:04:26,133
But you seem remarkably at ease.
45
00:04:26,646 --> 00:04:28,437
Stop it. No, really.
46
00:04:28,565 --> 00:04:30,937
Well, if you must. What are you doing?
47
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,024
That tickles. Are those real?
48
00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:36,312
That's it! Conflict.
49
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:38,939
Victor, you were right.
I have been undefined.
50
00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:44,155
People, I've had an epiphany.
The hero cannot exist in a vacuum!
51
00:04:44,373 --> 00:04:47,373
What our story needs is an ironic,
unexpected event
52
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:50,252
that will propel the hero into conflict!
53
00:05:46,853 --> 00:05:47,932
Mr Timms?
54
00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,979
That's right! You!
55
00:06:33,401 --> 00:06:35,358
Don't be shy. Come on.
56
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,563
It's okay.
57
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,654
That's it, a little closer.
58
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,314
Good.
59
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,612
I won't bite you.
60
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,746
I need a little help here.
61
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:50,615
Are you okay?
62
00:06:51,294 --> 00:06:53,749
I must get to the other side.
63
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,631
The other side? You mean, just now,
that was you crossing the road?
64
00:06:56,758 --> 00:06:58,003
That's why the...
65
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,417
Why'd you do that?
66
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,638
This is my quest. He waits for me.
67
00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:05,093
What? Who?
68
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,759
The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one.
69
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:13,224
They say he rides an alabaster carriage
with golden guardians to protect him.
70
00:07:13,358 --> 00:07:15,101
What are you talking about?
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00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,568
Enlightenment.
We are nothing without it.
72
00:07:19,114 --> 00:07:22,280
Nothing? Your delusional quest
just ruined my life!
73
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,816
I had an incredibly complex
social network going!
74
00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:27,789
Highly sophisticated friends!
I was very popular!
75
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,991
Friends? I don't see no friends.
76
00:07:32,461 --> 00:07:33,492
You are a very lonely lizard.
77
00:07:35,548 --> 00:07:38,881
Look, I need water, hydration.
My teeth are chapped.
78
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,133
I need lotion.
I'm down to one layer of skin already.
79
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,969
Pretty soon,
I'm going to start seeing my insides.
80
00:07:43,097 --> 00:07:45,670
Not unlike what you've got going there.
81
00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:47,593
Listen, I can't survive
in the desert, okay?
82
00:07:47,727 --> 00:07:49,600
I... I don't belong here.
83
00:07:49,812 --> 00:07:52,978
That may be true, but here you are.
84
00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:58,527
Now help me up
and I will help you find what you seek.
85
00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:01,110
-You will?
-And perhaps more.
86
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,364
Quickly. I must get back to my quest.
87
00:08:03,493 --> 00:08:06,992
-You mean you've done this before?
-Yes. Many times.
88
00:08:07,706 --> 00:08:10,576
Come, come. That's it, pull my finger.
89
00:08:10,709 --> 00:08:12,666
The Spirit is waiting for me.
90
00:08:13,086 --> 00:08:14,496
Okay, okay.
91
00:08:19,968 --> 00:08:22,209
Okay. That's not going to work.
92
00:08:22,346 --> 00:08:23,341
I must get to the other side.
93
00:08:25,182 --> 00:08:27,755
Why don't you just wait
until there are no cars coming?
94
00:08:27,893 --> 00:08:29,517
It's not so easy as it looks.
95
00:08:29,645 --> 00:08:30,640
What?
96
00:08:30,938 --> 00:08:32,136
Is a metaphor.
97
00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:03,841
There's another one!
98
00:09:05,765 --> 00:09:06,760
I knew it.
99
00:09:18,403 --> 00:09:20,146
You need a little help, amigo?
100
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,280
I think the metaphor broke my spleen.
101
00:09:23,408 --> 00:09:25,946
The path to knowledge
is fraught with consequence.
102
00:09:26,078 --> 00:09:28,865
I'm just looking for the path to water.
103
00:09:28,997 --> 00:09:33,659
If you want to find water,
you must first find Dirt.
104
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,158
Dirt.
105
00:09:37,005 --> 00:09:39,412
Destiny, she is kind to you.
106
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,420
Tomorrow is Wednesday.
The water comes.
107
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:47,004
At noon, the townspeople gather
for a mysterious ritual.
108
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:51,974
A town? You mean, with real people
and everything? Where?
109
00:09:52,104 --> 00:09:54,891
A day's journey. Follow your shadow.
110
00:09:56,734 --> 00:10:00,149
You want me to just walk out
into the desert?
111
00:10:00,279 --> 00:10:01,310
That's the way.
112
00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:03,854
Okay. So you're saying
113
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:07,490
there's a town, a real town,
not a metaphor town.
114
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,078
Go on. It's okay.
115
00:10:09,664 --> 00:10:10,743
Okay.
116
00:10:11,457 --> 00:10:12,832
Well, then, I'm going.
117
00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:16,294
I am leaving the road now!
118
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,834
I'm walking into the desert!
119
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:21,629
Alone!
120
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,298
We all have our journeys to make!
121
00:10:25,013 --> 00:10:27,586
I will see you on the other side.
122
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:44,864
Welcome, amigo
123
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,946
To the land without end
124
00:10:48,495 --> 00:10:51,246
The desert and death
125
00:10:51,373 --> 00:10:55,240
Are the closest of friends
126
00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:58,247
We sing of his courage
127
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,546
In magnificent song
128
00:11:01,675 --> 00:11:04,462
But pay close attention
129
00:11:04,595 --> 00:11:07,465
He won't be here long
130
00:11:11,811 --> 00:11:14,930
As the birds pluck his eyes
The sun bleaches his bones
131
00:11:15,064 --> 00:11:19,975
See his entrails get scattered
Watch him lose his cojones
132
00:11:26,659 --> 00:11:28,900
Here in the Mojave Desert,
133
00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:34,244
animals have had millions of years
to adapt to the harsh environment.
134
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:37,579
But the lizard? He is going to die.
135
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:41,334
"Four score and seven years ago,
our fathers..."
136
00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:43,505
-Don't move.
-What?
137
00:11:49,558 --> 00:11:51,431
-Don't move!
-Not moving.
138
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,591
Not moving.
139
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,886
Try to blend in.
140
00:11:55,022 --> 00:11:56,564
Blend in? What do you mean?
141
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,558
Blend in.
142
00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:03,402
What are you saying?
143
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,782
-Too late.
-No, no. It's not too late!
144
00:12:06,909 --> 00:12:09,115
I'm blending! I'm a blender!
145
00:12:09,453 --> 00:12:11,326
Hey, calm down! What are you doing?
146
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,780
Stop moving!
147
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,120
Try not to look conspicuous.
148
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,175
-What are you doing?
-I'm blending.
149
00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:31,098
-Go blend somewhere else.
-Don't distract me.
150
00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:33,016
-No room at the inn.
-It's an art, not a science.
151
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:35,053
-Find your own hiding place.
-No, this is good.
152
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,846
Here she comes! You better run, Mojito!
153
00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:41,730
-What? I thought you said, "Don't move."
-That was before. Now, you run.
154
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,117
Oh, hey. Proboscis.
155
00:13:31,829 --> 00:13:32,824
Testy.
156
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:49,675
Please, no, please. I have vertigo!
My glands are swelling!
157
00:13:51,224 --> 00:13:52,338
Please, no.
158
00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:04,309
You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard!
159
00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,319
Get out of there.
I'm going to strangle your huevos!
160
00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:08,191
Big bird! Big bird!
161
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:11,786
No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding!
162
00:14:11,912 --> 00:14:13,785
-Come on, we're friends, right?
-I don't know you!
163
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:15,657
-Lizards, frogs...
-Find your own hiding place!
164
00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:17,415
-We're practically related!
-No room at the inn!
165
00:14:17,543 --> 00:14:18,918
-Come on, move over!
-You're not my friend!
166
00:14:19,044 --> 00:14:21,120
I'll let you kiss my sister!
167
00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:31,763
You son of a...
168
00:15:26,697 --> 00:15:29,733
Where are your friends now, amigo?
169
00:15:58,312 --> 00:16:01,063
Get your slimy-webbed phalanges
off my boots!
170
00:16:02,191 --> 00:16:03,186
Sorry.
171
00:16:03,317 --> 00:16:06,520
I got a bead on you, stranger.
So you get up real slow
172
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:08,064
Iessen you want to spend the better part
173
00:16:08,197 --> 00:16:10,023
of the afternoon
putting your face back together!
174
00:16:10,158 --> 00:16:12,827
-No, ma'am, I don't.
-Who are you?
175
00:16:12,952 --> 00:16:15,240
-Who am l?
-I'm asking the questions here!
176
00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:17,778
Our town is drying up.
We're in the middle of a drought.
177
00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:19,623
Now someone's dumping water
in the desert!
178
00:16:19,751 --> 00:16:21,827
It's a puzzle of undeterminable size
and dimension,
179
00:16:21,962 --> 00:16:24,749
but I intend to find out
what role you playing in all this.
180
00:16:24,881 --> 00:16:27,454
-Role?
-What are you involved in?
181
00:16:27,843 --> 00:16:30,084
Well, I'm glad you asked.
182
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:33,304
I've got two one-acts, a mystery
and a musical I've been gestating.
183
00:16:33,432 --> 00:16:36,516
I got the words, I'm just working on
the melody right now. It's like a...
184
00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:39,927
I think it's gonna be a western.
185
00:16:40,063 --> 00:16:42,636
A monkey got a cracker
His mother was a slapper
186
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:46,357
She'll be coming 'round the mountain
in the rain
187
00:16:47,655 --> 00:16:50,525
You ain't from around here, are you?
188
00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:53,865
I'm still working on it.
189
00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:56,776
So, what's your name?
190
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,413
-Beans.
-That's a funny kind of name.
191
00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:02,459
What can I say?
My daddy plumb loved baked beans.
192
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,293
Well, you're lucky
he didn't plumb love asparagus.
193
00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:05,584
What are you saying?
194
00:17:05,715 --> 00:17:07,754
I mean,
I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself,
195
00:17:07,884 --> 00:17:10,125
but I'm not sure that a child
would appreciate the moniker.
196
00:17:10,261 --> 00:17:14,839
My daddy was a great man, even if
he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes.
197
00:17:14,974 --> 00:17:17,465
-Spicy.
-You're eating his ashes!
198
00:17:18,895 --> 00:17:20,009
You carry his remains?
199
00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:23,396
No, his ashes. He loved to smoke.
They never found the body.
200
00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:25,482
Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.
201
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:27,567
-What are you implying?
-Nothing.
202
00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:29,653
My daddy was never near
that mine shaft.
203
00:17:29,781 --> 00:17:31,323
He'd been sober for over a month!
204
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:34,366
And for you to insinuate that he would
abandon his parental responsibilities
205
00:17:34,494 --> 00:17:38,408
at a delicate time in my personal
development is an affront to my sense...
206
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,455
Miss Beans?
207
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,703
Miss Beans? Hello?
208
00:17:48,717 --> 00:17:49,748
Hello?
209
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:07,894
And until the people of Andromeda Five
210
00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:11,147
return him safe and sound,
I will not sell my ranch!
211
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:14,863
-What... What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
212
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,820
-What am I doing?
-You're cuddling me.
213
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:18,329
-You were frozen.
-I was not.
214
00:18:18,456 --> 00:18:20,329
Yes, you were. You stopped talking.
215
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,708
It's a defence mechanism.
Actually, lots of lizards have it.
216
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:24,998
You're making that up.
217
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,044
So, you gonna die out here,
or you want a ride into town?
218
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:32,088
No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please.
Thank you. Sorry.
219
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:35,920
Today's Wednesday.
Wednesday's when we all get to it.
220
00:18:36,725 --> 00:18:38,135
So who are you, really?
221
00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:39,975
Well, I'm a man of many epithets.
222
00:18:40,103 --> 00:18:42,428
There's my stage name, my pen name,
my avatar.
223
00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:45,055
I had a pseudonym once,
but I had it legally changed.
224
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:49,140
And so the stranger,
seeking companionship,
225
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:53,572
finds the woman,
much like the sirens of ancient times
226
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:57,947
Iuring him to his certain demise.
227
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,323
...nom de plume, I have a CB handle.
228
00:19:00,457 --> 00:19:02,117
I'm actually one of the few men
with a maiden name.
229
00:19:02,251 --> 00:19:04,872
Whoa! Well, here we are.
230
00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:13,382
Right.
231
00:19:13,512 --> 00:19:16,050
Well, I sure do appreciate this,
Miss Beans,
232
00:19:16,182 --> 00:19:18,886
-and if there's ever anything that l...
-Get on up!
233
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,018
Okay, then!
234
00:19:21,562 --> 00:19:23,519
See you, Beans.
235
00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:41,320
You heading out, Jim?
236
00:19:41,457 --> 00:19:44,541
Well, we gave it our best shot.
We had to sell out.
237
00:19:44,669 --> 00:19:47,504
Can't grow no crops without no water.
238
00:19:48,882 --> 00:19:50,589
Bye, now!
239
00:19:55,472 --> 00:19:56,847
What is it?
240
00:20:00,143 --> 00:20:01,174
What was that for?
241
00:20:01,686 --> 00:20:02,966
You're funny looking.
242
00:20:03,438 --> 00:20:05,726
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're funny looking, too.
243
00:20:05,857 --> 00:20:08,182
-That's a funny-looking shirt.
-That's a funny-looking dress.
244
00:20:08,318 --> 00:20:10,690
-You got funny-looking eyes!
-You got a funny-looking face!
245
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:15,729
You're a stranger.
Strangers don't last long here.
246
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,236
Here's your beans, Beans.
247
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,362
I'm gonna need some more feed, too,
Willie.
248
00:20:20,497 --> 00:20:24,494
Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts
already. I can't give you more credit.
249
00:20:24,627 --> 00:20:26,868
But I'll have what I owe you at noon.
250
00:20:27,004 --> 00:20:32,211
You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack
down at the bank. He cut off all credit.
251
00:20:32,343 --> 00:20:34,501
Hey, Beans! Beans!
252
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,712
You know that there fella?
253
00:20:36,847 --> 00:20:38,341
Hey, Beans! Miss Beans!
254
00:20:38,849 --> 00:20:40,391
Nope.
255
00:20:40,518 --> 00:20:41,680
Hey, Beans!
256
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:42,931
Hey.
257
00:20:44,731 --> 00:20:47,685
Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in.
258
00:22:18,869 --> 00:22:20,695
I'd like a glass of water.
259
00:22:23,290 --> 00:22:24,369
He wants a glass of water!
260
00:22:24,499 --> 00:22:26,159
Make it a double!
261
00:22:26,293 --> 00:22:27,621
Give him the spittoon!
262
00:22:34,009 --> 00:22:36,582
Cactus juice. That's what we got.
263
00:23:01,454 --> 00:23:03,161
Hey, there, fruit cup.
264
00:23:03,289 --> 00:23:07,286
You're a long ways from home, ain't ya?
265
00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:09,873
Who exactly are you?
266
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:15,545
Who am I?
267
00:23:17,387 --> 00:23:18,382
I could be anyone.
268
00:23:22,308 --> 00:23:26,471
What's the matter?
You missing your mommy's mangos?
269
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,729
As a matter of fact, I am.
270
00:23:30,692 --> 00:23:32,731
But not as much as
your daddy's cooking!
271
00:23:35,072 --> 00:23:38,191
Exactly where did you say
you were from?
272
00:23:38,325 --> 00:23:41,610
Me? I'm from the West.
273
00:23:41,745 --> 00:23:44,948
Out there, beyond the horizon.
Past the sunset.
274
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,582
The Far West.
275
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:51,288
Yeah, that's right, hombres.
276
00:23:51,422 --> 00:23:54,126
The place I come from,
we kill a man before breakfast
277
00:23:54,258 --> 00:23:56,381
just to work up an appetite.
278
00:23:57,094 --> 00:23:59,170
Then we salt him, and we pepper him.
279
00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:03,433
Then we braise him in clarified butter.
And then we eat him.
280
00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:05,551
-You eat him?
-That's what I said!
281
00:24:05,686 --> 00:24:09,766
Hell, I seen things make a grown man
lose control of his glandular functions!
282
00:24:09,899 --> 00:24:13,065
You spend three days in a horse
carcass, living off your own juices.
283
00:24:13,194 --> 00:24:16,029
It'll change a man. Oh, yeah.
284
00:24:18,449 --> 00:24:22,992
Had a few extra aces in this deck,
gents. Just the way I like it.
285
00:24:23,371 --> 00:24:27,997
So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend,
I am not from around these parts.
286
00:24:28,126 --> 00:24:30,414
You might say I'm from everywhere
there's trouble brewing
287
00:24:30,545 --> 00:24:32,786
and hell waiting to be raised.
288
00:24:32,922 --> 00:24:36,291
You might say
I'm what hell's already raised up.
289
00:24:37,594 --> 00:24:39,136
Name's
290
00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:41,507
Rango.
291
00:24:42,974 --> 00:24:44,136
Rango.
292
00:24:45,936 --> 00:24:48,012
Are you the fella
that killed them Jenkins brothers?
293
00:24:49,231 --> 00:24:51,472
Killed them with one bullet.
294
00:24:51,608 --> 00:24:53,351
Don't get no deader.
295
00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:55,477
All seven of them?
296
00:24:56,613 --> 00:24:58,023
That's right.
297
00:24:58,615 --> 00:25:00,358
All seven of them.
298
00:25:01,285 --> 00:25:04,570
Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango?
299
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:08,957
You know, I'm glad you asked me that.
300
00:25:09,084 --> 00:25:12,998
And I will be happy to tell you how.
But you're all gonna have to listen up!
301
00:25:14,298 --> 00:25:16,504
Because this is where it gets
302
00:25:17,301 --> 00:25:18,925
complicated.
303
00:25:21,055 --> 00:25:23,925
That'll close out your account,
Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig.
304
00:25:24,058 --> 00:25:27,473
Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left
of your college education!
305
00:25:29,731 --> 00:25:31,972
I don't rightly have
no other choice, Beans.
306
00:25:32,108 --> 00:25:36,188
Times being so hard,
we just can't give no more credit.
307
00:25:36,863 --> 00:25:39,532
But this here is a bank.
This is where you keep the water.
308
00:25:42,744 --> 00:25:47,037
Beans, you've been like a niece to me
ever since your daddy
309
00:25:48,583 --> 00:25:52,117
did not fall drunk down a mine shaft.
310
00:25:52,254 --> 00:25:56,750
I've tried to protect you and others
from certain realities.
311
00:25:56,883 --> 00:25:58,840
But that... Well...
312
00:25:59,428 --> 00:26:01,135
-Mr Merrimack?
-Realities are bearing down.
313
00:26:01,263 --> 00:26:02,757
Mr Merrimack!
314
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,802
Are you all right?
315
00:26:05,475 --> 00:26:08,926
Beans, I need to show you something.
316
00:26:16,695 --> 00:26:20,110
-That's all that's left?
-And this here is the reserve!
317
00:26:20,241 --> 00:26:21,865
I don't know if you've noticed,
318
00:26:21,992 --> 00:26:25,443
but folks just ain't making deposits
on a Wednesday no more!
319
00:26:25,579 --> 00:26:28,994
Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some water,
I'm gonna lose my ranch
320
00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:31,450
and you're telling me
that's all that's left in the whole town?
321
00:26:31,586 --> 00:26:34,705
Now that just don't make no sense.
Now, listen.
322
00:26:34,839 --> 00:26:38,788
Someone is dumping water
in the desert.
323
00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:42,214
I seen it with my own eyes.
324
00:26:44,057 --> 00:26:45,930
Water in the desert?
325
00:26:46,059 --> 00:26:49,059
Was this during
one of your special times?
326
00:26:49,395 --> 00:26:50,390
No.
327
00:26:50,522 --> 00:26:54,566
Well, we can all dream,
but this is the reality.
328
00:26:54,693 --> 00:26:58,275
Why do you think so many people
are selling out? They just can't make it.
329
00:26:58,405 --> 00:27:00,812
Well, what am I supposed to do?
330
00:27:01,283 --> 00:27:03,952
Well, I suppose
we could talk to the Mayor.
331
00:27:04,077 --> 00:27:07,196
I hear he's been helping people out
in this time of crisis.
332
00:27:07,330 --> 00:27:08,409
The Mayor?
333
00:27:08,540 --> 00:27:11,209
He may be our only hope.
334
00:27:11,335 --> 00:27:14,252
Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back
towards number three,
335
00:27:14,379 --> 00:27:15,707
and that's when the roof caved in,
336
00:27:15,839 --> 00:27:17,915
igniting the thermos
of pure grain alcohol
337
00:27:18,050 --> 00:27:21,834
instantly vapourising his bodily form,
leaving nothing but a charcoal statue
338
00:27:21,970 --> 00:27:24,046
and a high-pitched squeal.
339
00:27:29,854 --> 00:27:33,768
Hold on, there. That's only six.
What happened to number seven?
340
00:27:35,067 --> 00:27:36,347
Number seven?
341
00:27:36,485 --> 00:27:38,773
Hell, he died of infection.
342
00:27:42,074 --> 00:27:44,066
-Seven men!
-One bullet!
343
00:27:44,202 --> 00:27:46,159
Drinks all around!
344
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,079
Dance for me, Sod Buster!
345
00:27:51,209 --> 00:27:53,913
-Yes, dance like a chicken!
-That's right! Dance!
346
00:27:55,421 --> 00:27:57,544
You got corn in your ears, mate?
347
00:27:57,674 --> 00:28:00,591
You don't pay the mortgage,
you don't own the land!
348
00:28:00,718 --> 00:28:03,754
-That's basic real estate law, my friend.
-Quid pro quo!
349
00:28:03,888 --> 00:28:06,924
If I see your face in this town again,
350
00:28:07,058 --> 00:28:11,435
I'm gonna slice it off and use it
to wipe my unmentionables.
351
00:28:12,147 --> 00:28:13,309
Mind the beak.
352
00:28:14,524 --> 00:28:17,062
And don't come back!
353
00:28:18,904 --> 00:28:21,608
What are you all gawping at?
354
00:28:25,202 --> 00:28:28,701
Hey, Bad Bill,
there's something I got to tell you!
355
00:28:33,377 --> 00:28:34,622
What is this?
356
00:28:34,753 --> 00:28:38,750
You know who that is, Bill?
That there's Rango!
357
00:28:38,882 --> 00:28:42,666
Yeah, he ain't afraid of you!
He ain't afraid of none of you.
358
00:28:42,803 --> 00:28:44,213
Killed them Jenkins brothers.
359
00:28:44,346 --> 00:28:47,216
-Done it with one bullet, Bill.
-All seven of them!
360
00:28:47,933 --> 00:28:49,806
Is that right?
361
00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:29,763
Let me get that before you...
362
00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:35,980
No. Oh, I know. Here.
363
00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:42,353
Just take care of that for you.
364
00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:45,356
There. All better.
365
00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:12,347
T.O. T.O. Just a second.
366
00:30:14,689 --> 00:30:16,064
All right, now listen!
367
00:30:16,190 --> 00:30:19,393
I'm going to give you fellas
one last chance to reconsider!
368
00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:27,151
And if you don't want to reconsider
369
00:30:27,285 --> 00:30:30,321
I might consider reconsidering myself.
370
00:30:41,717 --> 00:30:45,086
Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
371
00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:46,797
All right, now listen up!
372
00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:49,930
Things are going to be different
around here now that Rango's in town.
373
00:30:50,058 --> 00:30:53,094
Got some new rules!
I want my shoes shined every morning,
374
00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:55,101
my coffee hot, Danish on the side.
375
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,436
Whatever you do,
don't look me in the eye.
376
00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:59,973
Stay out of my peripheral vision!
377
00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:02,062
-It's Rango.
-What's he up to?
378
00:31:02,196 --> 00:31:05,315
He ain't afraid of nobody.
He's telling that bird what's for!
379
00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:07,192
And when you see me coming,
stand aside.
380
00:31:07,535 --> 00:31:10,286
I take large steps and I don't want
none of you hayseeds
381
00:31:10,413 --> 00:31:13,082
getting your bodily fluids on my boots!
382
00:31:14,542 --> 00:31:17,745
Of course, there is no need for violence,
383
00:31:17,879 --> 00:31:20,796
as long as we stick together,
work as a team.
384
00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:24,292
So I want you all to come outside now
and line up single file
385
00:31:24,427 --> 00:31:25,837
while I take a brief intermission!
386
00:31:28,765 --> 00:31:30,556
What's he doing now?
387
00:31:30,683 --> 00:31:32,225
I think it's a number two.
388
00:31:53,832 --> 00:31:55,741
Never mind.
389
00:32:16,730 --> 00:32:18,390
Take a look-see over here!
390
00:32:18,524 --> 00:32:19,722
Well, look at him now!
391
00:32:19,859 --> 00:32:21,685
He's chasing after that hawk!
392
00:32:21,819 --> 00:32:23,277
Give him hell, Rango!
393
00:34:17,229 --> 00:34:20,016
-Did you see that?
-He killed that thing!
394
00:34:20,148 --> 00:34:21,725
What do you think, Doc?
395
00:34:22,526 --> 00:34:25,195
This hawk is dead!
396
00:34:25,863 --> 00:34:28,270
Shoot, I say we cook that right up.
397
00:34:28,407 --> 00:34:30,067
He did it with one bullet!
398
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,694
Just like he said!
399
00:34:31,827 --> 00:34:33,534
It's about time
we had a hero around here.
400
00:34:33,662 --> 00:34:35,868
One who ain't in a pine box.
401
00:34:36,582 --> 00:34:39,417
I think it's time he met the Mayor.
402
00:34:39,543 --> 00:34:42,460
You hear that, Rango?
You're going to meet the Mayor!
403
00:34:42,588 --> 00:34:44,876
Let's hear it for Rango!
404
00:34:48,261 --> 00:34:50,668
And so the stranger basks
405
00:34:50,805 --> 00:34:54,138
in the adulation of his new friends,
406
00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:59,427
sinking deeper into the guacamole
of his own deception.
407
00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:01,188
When is he going to die?
408
00:35:01,316 --> 00:35:03,723
Soon, compadre. Soon.
409
00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,292
My land is not for sale!
410
00:35:23,505 --> 00:35:25,996
I came here to save my land, not sell it!
411
00:35:26,133 --> 00:35:29,751
I'm sure there's something reasonable
we can work out if you just talk to him!
412
00:35:31,180 --> 00:35:32,923
Beans! Where are you going? Beans?
413
00:35:33,515 --> 00:35:35,306
The Mayor will see you now.
414
00:35:40,814 --> 00:35:44,064
Water, Mr Rango, water.
415
00:35:44,568 --> 00:35:47,853
Without it,
there's nothing but dust and decay.
416
00:35:47,988 --> 00:35:52,448
But with water there's life.
417
00:35:57,540 --> 00:35:59,449
Look at them, so desperate to live,
they'll follow it anywhere.
418
00:36:00,126 --> 00:36:02,249
That's the immutable law of the desert.
419
00:36:04,172 --> 00:36:08,335
Control the water
and you control everything.
420
00:36:08,593 --> 00:36:12,886
But I don't have to tell you that being
a true man of the West, as you are.
421
00:36:13,223 --> 00:36:17,386
Oh, yeah. The West is the best.
422
00:36:17,602 --> 00:36:19,760
This is from my private stock.
423
00:36:19,896 --> 00:36:22,980
Vintage rainwater
from the Great Deluge.
424
00:36:24,109 --> 00:36:26,564
Not Noah's deluge.
Good heavens, I'm not that old.
425
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,612
I guess power has its privileges.
426
00:36:33,201 --> 00:36:34,659
You make a good point, son.
427
00:36:35,871 --> 00:36:38,788
But with privilege comes responsibility.
428
00:36:40,459 --> 00:36:43,376
Hell, I was mayor here
before there was a Dirt!
429
00:36:43,504 --> 00:36:46,789
And I may be
just a sentimental old turtle
430
00:36:46,924 --> 00:36:51,882
but I think there's a future for this town.
And I hope you'll be part of it.
431
00:36:54,056 --> 00:36:56,511
-To Dirt!
-To Dirt.
432
00:36:59,645 --> 00:37:03,060
You see them, Mr Rango?
All my friends and neighbours?
433
00:37:04,108 --> 00:37:07,393
It's a hard life here. Very hard.
434
00:37:08,404 --> 00:37:11,938
Do you know how they make it through
each and every day?
435
00:37:12,074 --> 00:37:13,069
They believe.
436
00:37:13,743 --> 00:37:16,613
They believe it's going to be better.
437
00:37:16,746 --> 00:37:20,079
They believe that the water will come.
438
00:37:20,208 --> 00:37:22,663
They believe against all odds
and all evidence
439
00:37:22,794 --> 00:37:24,952
that tomorrow will be better than today.
440
00:37:27,215 --> 00:37:28,709
People have to believe in something.
441
00:37:30,552 --> 00:37:33,588
Right now, they believe in you.
442
00:37:35,849 --> 00:37:40,060
Pick it up, Mr Rango.
Your destiny awaits.
443
00:37:43,565 --> 00:37:46,980
People have to believe in something.
444
00:37:53,408 --> 00:37:55,649
It's almost noon. Is everything ready?
445
00:37:55,786 --> 00:37:58,537
Yeah. But he might be a problem.
446
00:37:58,664 --> 00:38:02,033
He's not a problem, William.
He's a solution.
447
00:38:04,253 --> 00:38:05,663
It just don't make no sense.
448
00:38:07,590 --> 00:38:08,289
This whole town is drying up,
449
00:38:08,424 --> 00:38:10,997
and the Mayor is the only one
who don't seem to be affected.
450
00:38:11,135 --> 00:38:13,092
Doesn't that make you
just a wee bit suspicious?
451
00:38:13,262 --> 00:38:16,381
And what about that water
I saw out in the desert?
452
00:38:16,515 --> 00:38:20,844
All right! No need to incite anxiety.
I'll inquire about the Mayor.
453
00:38:20,978 --> 00:38:24,643
But if you really feel
there's some conspiracy occurring,
454
00:38:24,774 --> 00:38:27,774
I suggest you take it up
with the new sheriff.
455
00:38:29,153 --> 00:38:32,153
This is going to be good. Hey!
Watch that needle there.
456
00:38:32,282 --> 00:38:33,692
Not too tight.
I want to leave room for some pucker!
457
00:38:33,825 --> 00:38:34,820
That's good.
458
00:38:34,951 --> 00:38:35,946
Oh, easy there, tiger.
459
00:38:37,787 --> 00:38:38,818
-A little up and back?
-I don't think so.
460
00:38:38,955 --> 00:38:40,069
Have you got French cuffs with that?
461
00:38:40,206 --> 00:38:41,486
Excuse me, Sheriff Rango.
I want to talk to you.
462
00:38:41,624 --> 00:38:43,082
Hey, Beans,
what do you think of the new duds?
463
00:38:43,209 --> 00:38:45,166
I got a 1 0-gallon hat
marked down from 1 5.
464
00:38:45,295 --> 00:38:46,837
-That's nice.
-Have you met Angelique?
465
00:38:46,963 --> 00:38:48,754
-Hello, Beans.
-Hello, Angelique.
466
00:38:48,882 --> 00:38:49,877
-Tart.
-Floozy.
467
00:38:50,008 --> 00:38:52,166
-Trollop.
-Excuse me, Mr Rango.
468
00:38:52,302 --> 00:38:53,879
I will blow that ugly right off your face!
469
00:38:54,221 --> 00:38:56,178
I was just thinking that...
470
00:38:56,973 --> 00:38:58,633
You want the old John Hancock,
do you?
471
00:38:58,767 --> 00:39:00,843
-Well, here. Hold this.
-Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.
472
00:39:00,978 --> 00:39:02,638
There's a bullet in there.
473
00:39:02,771 --> 00:39:04,265
I know about the shindig this afternoon.
474
00:39:04,398 --> 00:39:06,853
-I ordered myself some right fancy duds.
-Sheriff, I'd like to file a...
475
00:39:06,984 --> 00:39:08,691
-Mr Rango!
-Oh, you, too? No problem.
476
00:39:08,819 --> 00:39:10,396
-Here, let me just...
-I need you to investigate...
477
00:39:10,529 --> 00:39:13,364
You know, Beans, I bet you clean up
real nice, you put a little effort into it.
478
00:39:13,490 --> 00:39:14,652
-What?
-Now, remember, son,
479
00:39:14,783 --> 00:39:17,274
stay in school, eat your veggies,
burn everything but Shakespeare.
480
00:39:17,411 --> 00:39:18,988
-Who's Shakespeare?
-Sheriff Rango,
481
00:39:19,497 --> 00:39:21,204
if that is your real name.
482
00:39:21,332 --> 00:39:23,490
I am trying to save my daddy's ranch,
483
00:39:23,626 --> 00:39:25,665
which is on the verge
of an agricultural meltdown
484
00:39:25,795 --> 00:39:28,665
while you're playing patty-cake
with this here trollop!
485
00:39:30,925 --> 00:39:34,210
Sad, really. Such a drab little thing.
486
00:39:34,929 --> 00:39:36,043
Why does she do that?
487
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:39,383
-It's a survival reflex.
-Her switch is just broken.
488
00:39:39,517 --> 00:39:40,927
Well, that's an inconvenience.
489
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:43,633
It is not a rash! It is a birthmark!
490
00:39:45,356 --> 00:39:46,601
I did it again, didn't l?
491
00:39:46,733 --> 00:39:47,931
Did what?
492
00:39:48,359 --> 00:39:49,901
Let me ask you something.
493
00:39:50,028 --> 00:39:54,072
Did anybody here mention
what happened to our last sheriff?
494
00:40:33,447 --> 00:40:37,776
Pardon, but may I ask you...
Excuse me, may I ask you...
495
00:40:37,910 --> 00:40:41,694
The last sheriff... Pardon me.
Where is everybody going?
496
00:40:42,290 --> 00:40:45,207
What exactly happened to the...
497
00:40:49,589 --> 00:40:51,131
All day
498
00:40:51,257 --> 00:40:55,206
I've faced the barren waste
499
00:40:55,762 --> 00:40:59,594
Without the taste of water
500
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,971
Cool water
501
00:41:11,653 --> 00:41:13,313
Old Dan and I
502
00:41:13,446 --> 00:41:15,403
With throats burned dry
503
00:41:15,991 --> 00:41:20,154
And souls that cry
504
00:41:20,287 --> 00:41:22,825
For water
505
00:41:25,959 --> 00:41:27,204
Cool
506
00:41:29,171 --> 00:41:30,581
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
507
00:41:30,714 --> 00:41:33,121
Clear water
508
00:41:41,183 --> 00:41:42,890
This is a heck of a hoedown
you got going.
509
00:41:43,018 --> 00:41:44,761
Still working out those steps.
510
00:41:44,895 --> 00:41:48,727
So, is this considered
normal civic behaviour?
511
00:41:48,858 --> 00:41:51,313
Every Wednesday, just like clockwork.
512
00:41:51,444 --> 00:41:53,151
You kill bird.
513
00:41:53,279 --> 00:41:56,114
Yeah. Matter of fact, I did.
514
00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:57,734
Bird dead. Snake come.
515
00:41:59,744 --> 00:42:00,739
Snake?
516
00:42:00,870 --> 00:42:01,865
He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango.
517
00:42:01,996 --> 00:42:04,119
He never comes to town 'cause
he's scared of that hawk.
518
00:42:04,248 --> 00:42:05,493
But he might come now.
519
00:42:05,625 --> 00:42:07,167
Can I have your boots
when you're dead?
520
00:42:07,293 --> 00:42:08,324
No!
521
00:42:08,461 --> 00:42:10,786
And I ain't got no problem
with this Rattlesnake Jake.
522
00:42:10,922 --> 00:42:12,546
That's just what Amos said.
523
00:42:12,841 --> 00:42:14,750
Amos?
524
00:42:18,138 --> 00:42:20,426
You got any gold fillings?
525
00:42:38,742 --> 00:42:41,280
My fellow Dirtonians.
526
00:42:41,412 --> 00:42:46,370
I welcome you to our great day
of deliverance. Hallelujah.
527
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,042
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
528
00:42:48,168 --> 00:42:51,667
Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot!
529
00:43:02,308 --> 00:43:05,593
We have a newcomer
amongst us today, my friends.
530
00:43:05,728 --> 00:43:08,432
A man I think needs
little introduction to you
531
00:43:08,564 --> 00:43:12,692
so bold has been his entry
into our fair society.
532
00:43:12,819 --> 00:43:16,022
Mr Rango, would you step forward?
533
00:43:21,911 --> 00:43:26,204
The time has come, my friends.
The time that was foretold!
534
00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:27,957
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
535
00:43:28,084 --> 00:43:29,459
The sacred time!
536
00:43:29,586 --> 00:43:31,329
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
537
00:43:31,463 --> 00:43:33,788
The time of destiny!
538
00:43:33,924 --> 00:43:35,466
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
539
00:43:35,592 --> 00:43:38,047
The time of deliverance!
540
00:43:38,178 --> 00:43:39,173
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
541
00:43:39,304 --> 00:43:43,384
It is the time of hydration!
542
00:43:58,949 --> 00:44:01,321
-It's his fault!
-It's the newcomer!
543
00:44:01,452 --> 00:44:03,112
-Burn him!
-He's a witch!
544
00:44:03,245 --> 00:44:04,324
I get his boots!
545
00:44:04,455 --> 00:44:08,666
My friends, my friends!
Temper your frustrations.
546
00:44:08,793 --> 00:44:13,834
Times will be tough from now on.
Sacrifices will have to be made.
547
00:44:13,965 --> 00:44:17,583
But if I can help in any way,
please know that my door is always...
548
00:44:17,718 --> 00:44:19,295
Hold it, hold it!
549
00:44:19,429 --> 00:44:22,180
Now, this whole thing
stinks three ways to Sunday.
550
00:44:22,306 --> 00:44:24,761
First the bank's run dry
and now this here spigot?
551
00:44:24,892 --> 00:44:25,887
The bank's run dry?
552
00:44:26,019 --> 00:44:28,688
-What's she talking about?
-She said there's no water in the bank!
553
00:44:33,985 --> 00:44:37,104
This is all we have!
We can't give it all out!
554
00:44:37,238 --> 00:44:39,396
That was my rehydration account!
555
00:44:40,867 --> 00:44:44,816
None of that civil disobedience
in my town, thank you very much.
556
00:44:47,457 --> 00:44:50,707
Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff.
Things were getting out of hand.
557
00:44:50,836 --> 00:44:52,662
Come right in.
558
00:44:52,796 --> 00:44:56,793
Let me have a gander at the source
of the societal discontentment here.
559
00:44:59,636 --> 00:45:01,011
Mercy.
560
00:45:01,138 --> 00:45:03,807
All right, listen up! I've been thinking
561
00:45:03,932 --> 00:45:06,683
and I believe I've figured something out.
562
00:45:06,810 --> 00:45:09,217
You folks have a water problem!
563
00:45:11,273 --> 00:45:13,846
Now just pay attention, everybody.
I'm trying to make a point here.
564
00:45:13,984 --> 00:45:16,735
Let's say this fella here
were to take a drink of water.
565
00:45:16,862 --> 00:45:19,613
Just one little drink.
No harm, no foul, right?
566
00:45:22,827 --> 00:45:23,941
And you!
567
00:45:24,328 --> 00:45:27,032
You're just as dried up and parched
as a jackrabbit in July.
568
00:45:27,165 --> 00:45:30,201
So you belly on up
and take you a double shot!
569
00:45:31,461 --> 00:45:33,287
Stay with me.
570
00:45:34,213 --> 00:45:38,045
What do you think happens then?
Why we'd all be drinking!
571
00:45:38,801 --> 00:45:41,671
And before you know it,
there wouldn't be any more water.
572
00:45:41,804 --> 00:45:43,761
And then where would we be?
573
00:45:45,141 --> 00:45:46,848
We'd be thirsty.
574
00:45:47,435 --> 00:45:49,095
Real thirsty.
575
00:45:49,562 --> 00:45:52,017
We'd turn on each other
like a bunch of animals!
576
00:45:54,693 --> 00:45:59,520
Now look here.
We have got six days of water.
577
00:46:04,578 --> 00:46:07,247
We have got five days...
578
00:46:08,665 --> 00:46:12,365
As long as we've got water,
we've got ourselves a town.
579
00:46:13,629 --> 00:46:15,502
Sheriff Rango is right.
580
00:46:15,631 --> 00:46:19,213
As long as we have this water,
we have some hope.
581
00:46:19,343 --> 00:46:21,086
And you can all take it from me.
582
00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:24,635
My 1 00% full-time employment
from this moment on
583
00:46:24,765 --> 00:46:28,679
will be to protect
our precious natural resource.
584
00:46:28,811 --> 00:46:32,595
Ain't no one gonna tango
with the Rango.
585
00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:46,734
Evening, ladies.
586
00:46:46,871 --> 00:46:48,614
Evening, Sheriff.
587
00:46:48,748 --> 00:46:50,824
And don't you come back!
588
00:46:50,959 --> 00:46:54,493
Hold on there, Gordy. You get back
in there and you assert yourself,
589
00:46:54,629 --> 00:46:57,832
and I think you'll find the people of this
here town to be surprisingly hospitable.
590
00:46:57,966 --> 00:46:59,211
Thank you, Sheriff.
591
00:46:59,342 --> 00:47:01,168
What? Not you again!
592
00:47:02,679 --> 00:47:04,422
I stand corrected.
593
00:47:10,562 --> 00:47:13,053
-This ain't the bank.
-I told you, Jedidiah!
594
00:47:13,190 --> 00:47:14,435
Hold it right there!
595
00:47:14,566 --> 00:47:15,811
-Who's that?
-It's the Sheriff!
596
00:47:15,943 --> 00:47:17,567
Get them hands up
where I can see them!
597
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,359
Just as I suspected.
598
00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:23,193
Prospecting without the authorised
equipment. Don't move a muscle.
599
00:47:24,034 --> 00:47:25,492
Prospecting?
600
00:47:29,623 --> 00:47:32,327
Now, you got your shovel,
pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah,
601
00:47:32,459 --> 00:47:35,662
assorted snacks, some puzzle books
and you're gonna need a permit.
602
00:47:35,796 --> 00:47:37,456
-Loofah.
-Ezekiel, Jedidiah!
603
00:47:37,590 --> 00:47:39,796
What the Sam Hill's going on up there?
604
00:47:39,925 --> 00:47:43,459
I've had polyps removed
smarter than the two of you!
605
00:47:43,971 --> 00:47:46,129
Hell's fire, this ain't the bank!
606
00:47:46,307 --> 00:47:49,841
Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here,
helping us out.
607
00:47:49,977 --> 00:47:52,681
Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.
608
00:47:52,814 --> 00:47:55,352
That's right, sir. Just doing my duty.
609
00:47:56,150 --> 00:47:58,189
The lonely constable on his rounds,
610
00:47:58,319 --> 00:48:00,607
keeping an eagle eye out
for mayhem and malfeasance.
611
00:48:01,197 --> 00:48:03,154
Does he look like he sounds?
612
00:48:04,659 --> 00:48:08,407
Well, Sheriff,
if we was to hit the mother lode,
613
00:48:08,538 --> 00:48:10,614
being prospectors and such,
614
00:48:10,749 --> 00:48:13,868
where would we deposit said annuity?
615
00:48:14,002 --> 00:48:15,911
Here in the town of Dirt,
we happen to have
616
00:48:16,046 --> 00:48:18,833
the finest financial institution
this side of the Missouri.
617
00:48:20,634 --> 00:48:23,172
Protected morning, noon and night
by yours truly.
618
00:48:24,972 --> 00:48:26,929
Much obliged.
619
00:48:27,182 --> 00:48:30,017
The bank's been robbed!
The bank's been robbed!
620
00:48:30,143 --> 00:48:32,550
Good Lord, the bank's been robbed!
621
00:48:32,688 --> 00:48:34,063
What's going on?
622
00:48:34,189 --> 00:48:36,347
-It's gone! The water's all gone!
-What'd he say?
623
00:48:36,483 --> 00:48:37,728
He said the bank's been robbed!
624
00:48:38,694 --> 00:48:41,481
Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me!
625
00:48:42,156 --> 00:48:46,734
The bank's been robbed, the town is dry
"We'll die of thirst, " the people cry
626
00:48:46,869 --> 00:48:51,365
He promised to protect the vault
The water's gone, it's all his fault
627
00:48:52,083 --> 00:48:53,992
All right, folks, stand back,
clear the area.
628
00:48:54,126 --> 00:48:55,406
This is a crime scene now.
629
00:48:55,544 --> 00:48:58,628
Secure the perimeter, dust for prints,
check for fibres, scan for DNA.
630
00:48:58,756 --> 00:49:01,425
I want a urine sample from everyone.
And get me a latte.
631
00:49:01,551 --> 00:49:01,676
And don't mix up the two.
632
00:49:01,676 --> 00:49:02,838
And don't mix up the two.
633
00:49:02,969 --> 00:49:04,083
What's this?
634
00:49:04,220 --> 00:49:05,844
"Prospecting Permit."
635
00:49:05,972 --> 00:49:07,715
I'll take that. Material evidence.
636
00:49:07,849 --> 00:49:09,343
What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?
637
00:49:09,475 --> 00:49:12,144
-We need that water.
-We're all going to die!
638
00:49:12,270 --> 00:49:15,852
My friends, we all know
what we have to do now.
639
00:49:15,982 --> 00:49:19,730
That's right.
We all know what we have to do now.
640
00:49:19,861 --> 00:49:21,853
-And that would be?
-Form a posse.
641
00:49:21,988 --> 00:49:23,814
Form a possum!
642
00:49:26,117 --> 00:49:27,741
A posse.
643
00:49:29,037 --> 00:49:32,073
Now, we're gonna be doing this
in an orderly fashion.
644
00:49:32,708 --> 00:49:37,583
First off, does anybody here know
how to use a firearm of any kind?
645
00:49:40,090 --> 00:49:41,667
All right, then.
646
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:43,294
What do we do now, Sheriff?
647
00:49:43,427 --> 00:49:46,096
Now we ride!
648
00:49:59,110 --> 00:50:01,482
Where are we going?
649
00:50:01,612 --> 00:50:02,810
What?
650
00:50:02,947 --> 00:50:04,738
Where are we going?
651
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,910
Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge
of all tracking and finding of villains,
652
00:50:16,044 --> 00:50:18,831
utilising your well-developed
lnjun-uity, no offence taken.
653
00:50:18,963 --> 00:50:20,161
So which way do you think they went?
654
00:50:20,298 --> 00:50:22,836
You want to sniff the air or commune
with a buffalo or something?
655
00:50:26,596 --> 00:50:28,422
Oh, you're good.
656
00:50:31,059 --> 00:50:32,719
I'm depending on you, Spoons.
657
00:50:32,852 --> 00:50:35,473
You got a little tobaccy
in the beard there.
658
00:50:35,605 --> 00:50:38,522
Always good to have a medical man
along, Doc.
659
00:50:38,650 --> 00:50:41,354
Reptiles got to stick together, right,
my brother?
660
00:50:41,486 --> 00:50:42,731
I'm an amphibian.
661
00:50:42,863 --> 00:50:44,357
Ain't no shame in that.
662
00:50:47,659 --> 00:50:50,114
You sure you're
fit for duty there, soldier?
663
00:50:52,039 --> 00:50:53,830
Well, you got a little something
in your eye there.
664
00:50:54,625 --> 00:50:58,373
Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir.
It's hereditary.
665
00:50:59,421 --> 00:51:02,291
Well, I'm glad to hear
it's not contagious.
666
00:51:03,008 --> 00:51:06,626
Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute!
A posse ain't no place for a...
667
00:51:07,429 --> 00:51:08,709
Never mind.
668
00:51:08,848 --> 00:51:10,757
Hold on there, little sister.
669
00:51:10,891 --> 00:51:13,560
Someone's gonna have
to look after the town while I'm gone.
670
00:51:15,438 --> 00:51:16,813
Can I gut-shoot someone?
671
00:51:18,190 --> 00:51:20,182
Let's put a pin in that.
672
00:51:20,735 --> 00:51:23,652
Sheriff, you're going to bring
that water back, aren't you?
673
00:51:24,572 --> 00:51:26,030
Count on it, little sister.
674
00:51:29,243 --> 00:51:32,409
-Which way do we go, Sheriff?
-There's tunnels everywhere.
675
00:51:32,538 --> 00:51:34,080
Whole town's perforated with them.
676
00:51:34,207 --> 00:51:37,706
He got more holes in him
than even a painted lady on a porcupine.
677
00:51:37,877 --> 00:51:40,747
Hey, my daddy took me to her place.
678
00:51:41,464 --> 00:51:43,124
Not what I expected.
679
00:51:44,009 --> 00:51:46,879
How'd them fellers
find the bank, anyway?
680
00:51:47,012 --> 00:51:49,088
Gentlemen, if we can just
stay on task here.
681
00:51:49,222 --> 00:51:51,713
Sheriff! Over here!
682
00:51:57,564 --> 00:51:58,477
-Would you look at that?
-Like seeing the face of God.
683
00:51:58,607 --> 00:51:59,805
Amen, brother.
684
00:51:59,942 --> 00:52:02,480
I remember when it used to flow
every Wednesday.
685
00:52:02,611 --> 00:52:04,568
Those were the halcyon days.
686
00:52:04,696 --> 00:52:05,894
Must be a reason she quit on us.
687
00:52:07,616 --> 00:52:10,285
Whatever the reason,
something is controlling this here water.
688
00:52:10,411 --> 00:52:11,442
What do you say, Sheriff?
689
00:52:13,747 --> 00:52:16,701
Clearly, the robbers came
from this direction.
690
00:52:16,834 --> 00:52:19,206
I say we track this pipe
back to its hydraulic origin
691
00:52:19,336 --> 00:52:21,791
and apprehend the culprits
behind this aquatic conundrum.
692
00:52:21,922 --> 00:52:24,210
-What'd he say?
-I think he said follow the pipe.
693
00:52:24,342 --> 00:52:26,714
-He said follow the pipe.
-He said follow the pipe.
694
00:52:31,307 --> 00:52:33,180
Sure is humid down here.
695
00:52:33,309 --> 00:52:36,309
Yeah. It's like the big mud piles.
696
00:52:36,437 --> 00:52:38,144
I had a goitre removed once.
697
00:52:38,272 --> 00:52:41,356
Looked like Tony Bennett
stepping out of the shower.
698
00:52:41,484 --> 00:52:43,275
I put that on a tortilla.
699
00:52:55,498 --> 00:52:59,791
Whatever you do, do not look down.
700
00:53:02,339 --> 00:53:05,423
-What is this place?
-It's an aquifer.
701
00:53:07,344 --> 00:53:08,802
What's an aquifer?
702
00:53:08,929 --> 00:53:10,886
Well, it's for aqua.
703
00:53:11,932 --> 00:53:13,758
Well, it's empty now.
704
00:53:32,495 --> 00:53:33,490
That's a big one.
705
00:53:37,375 --> 00:53:39,948
-It's the end of the line.
-Don't go no further.
706
00:53:40,086 --> 00:53:43,834
Now that there is a path.
It's got to be connected to something.
707
00:53:43,965 --> 00:53:46,538
You talk too much.
Why don't you put a cork in it?
708
00:53:46,676 --> 00:53:49,001
Why don't you put a cork...
Tell you where the sun don't shine.
709
00:53:49,137 --> 00:53:50,595
Your mama did.
I'll cook her right up.
710
00:53:50,722 --> 00:53:52,216
You two just don't get it, do you?
711
00:53:52,348 --> 00:53:55,966
Someone or something
is messing with our hydration
712
00:53:56,102 --> 00:53:58,011
and that pipe
has got something to do with it.
713
00:53:58,146 --> 00:53:59,937
I thought
we was following bank robbers!
714
00:54:00,064 --> 00:54:02,305
We're experiencing a paradigm shift.
715
00:54:02,442 --> 00:54:04,481
I'm gonna shift the features on your face
if you don't shut up!
716
00:54:04,611 --> 00:54:05,642
Go ahead and try!
717
00:54:08,240 --> 00:54:10,991
Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling.
You're affecting my cogitation.
718
00:54:13,411 --> 00:54:16,365
Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches.
719
00:54:22,170 --> 00:54:23,165
Sure enough.
720
00:54:23,797 --> 00:54:25,504
Smart thinking there, feller.
721
00:54:25,632 --> 00:54:28,301
-Start climbing.
-Get your foot out of my face!
722
00:54:28,427 --> 00:54:29,921
Not bad, huh, Beans?
723
00:54:30,054 --> 00:54:32,426
You keep thinking like that,
your hat's gonna catch on fire.
724
00:54:32,556 --> 00:54:34,963
Well, you know, you get on a roll,
you just...
725
00:54:35,851 --> 00:54:37,131
Hot, hot! Burn.
726
00:54:48,572 --> 00:54:51,905
Poor things.
All they wanted was a little water.
727
00:54:52,034 --> 00:54:55,449
Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well.
728
00:54:55,580 --> 00:54:57,240
-Hey, look what I found!
-What you got there?
729
00:54:57,373 --> 00:55:00,243
-I saw that first!
-Hey, that's mine!
730
00:55:00,376 --> 00:55:01,918
Give me that!
731
00:55:02,045 --> 00:55:04,002
It's empty anyway.
732
00:55:04,130 --> 00:55:05,540
I knew that.
733
00:55:05,673 --> 00:55:06,918
Where'd you find that?
734
00:55:07,050 --> 00:55:09,837
Sheriff! You're going to want to see this!
735
00:55:13,556 --> 00:55:15,216
It's Mr Merrimack from the bank.
736
00:55:15,350 --> 00:55:16,725
What's he doing here?
737
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:18,345
-Everybody stand back.
-All right, let me see.
738
00:55:18,478 --> 00:55:20,933
Looks like them varmints shot him
in the back.
739
00:55:21,064 --> 00:55:25,192
No, this man wasn't shot.
He was drowned!
740
00:55:25,318 --> 00:55:27,939
-Drowned?
-ln the middle of the desert?
741
00:55:28,071 --> 00:55:29,778
What a way to go.
742
00:55:31,491 --> 00:55:35,191
Well, now, whose boot prints are those?
743
00:55:39,083 --> 00:55:41,455
That's interesting.
The ground's still wet.
744
00:55:43,170 --> 00:55:44,664
I suppose we should bury him.
745
00:55:44,797 --> 00:55:46,042
I don't know. Birds got to eat, too.
746
00:55:46,215 --> 00:55:47,460
Circle of life!
747
00:55:49,468 --> 00:55:50,499
Sherriff.
748
00:55:50,636 --> 00:55:52,130
Will you say a few words?
749
00:55:52,888 --> 00:55:54,761
Yeah. Yeah.
750
00:55:57,268 --> 00:55:58,513
Dearly beloved.
751
00:55:58,644 --> 00:56:03,352
We are gathered here today
to honour this man.
752
00:56:04,025 --> 00:56:05,187
Mr Merrimack,
753
00:56:05,651 --> 00:56:07,193
you have the right to remain silent.
754
00:56:07,445 --> 00:56:09,603
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
755
00:56:09,739 --> 00:56:10,734
Amen.
756
00:56:11,074 --> 00:56:12,069
-Amen.
-Amen.
757
00:56:12,325 --> 00:56:15,112
Hey! What's that dad-gum lndian doing?
758
00:56:19,082 --> 00:56:21,751
I see you're consulting with the spirits.
759
00:56:21,876 --> 00:56:24,164
No, I'm moulting.
Means I'm ready to mate.
760
00:56:26,631 --> 00:56:28,125
I'll keep that in mind.
761
00:56:28,842 --> 00:56:29,921
Cactus fruit.
762
00:56:30,051 --> 00:56:32,802
Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit.
763
00:56:32,929 --> 00:56:34,672
I believe your people use it
as seasoning
764
00:56:34,806 --> 00:56:36,216
when preparing your native dishes.
765
00:56:36,349 --> 00:56:38,140
Also natural laxative.
766
00:56:39,853 --> 00:56:40,884
Pick up trail.
767
00:56:41,021 --> 00:56:44,436
Three men heading west.
One blind, one with
768
00:56:46,109 --> 00:56:48,481
enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
769
00:56:48,612 --> 00:56:51,862
-What did he say?
-They're riding sidesaddle.
770
00:56:51,990 --> 00:56:53,365
-We're whispering.
-What'd he say?
771
00:56:53,492 --> 00:56:54,571
Someone's got a bad valve.
772
00:56:54,702 --> 00:56:57,619
All right, which one of you fellers
needs a check-up?
773
00:56:58,622 --> 00:56:59,701
Awkward.
774
00:57:01,083 --> 00:57:04,333
What exactly are we going to do now?
775
00:57:05,004 --> 00:57:07,329
Now we ride!
776
00:57:12,220 --> 00:57:15,885
That means we're riding now!
This moment.
777
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,307
Marshmallows remind me
of going camping with my daddy.
778
00:58:01,437 --> 00:58:03,560
I could eat them all night long.
779
00:58:05,401 --> 00:58:08,569
Of course he did make me cough them
back up again for breakfast.
780
00:58:10,283 --> 00:58:13,404
This one time,
I coughed up an entire Dalmatian.
781
00:58:13,537 --> 00:58:17,322
That ain't nothing.
I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies.
782
00:58:18,378 --> 00:58:20,287
They started looking at me weird.
783
00:58:20,422 --> 00:58:23,673
I remember them.
They was quite friendly.
784
00:58:23,802 --> 00:58:27,302
I found a human spinal column
in my fecal matter once.
785
00:58:30,436 --> 00:58:32,974
You might want to get that looked at.
786
00:58:34,358 --> 00:58:36,232
Pass the beans, Beans.
787
00:58:36,361 --> 00:58:38,021
-Sheriff?
-No, thanks.
788
00:58:38,155 --> 00:58:42,534
Mr Rango? Can you tell us
about the Spirit of the West?
789
00:58:43,371 --> 00:58:46,456
-Yeah, tell us about that.
-ls it true what they say?
790
00:58:46,584 --> 00:58:50,203
Yes, the Spirit of the West!
791
00:58:50,339 --> 00:58:52,712
The eternally unattainable ideal.
792
00:58:53,177 --> 00:58:55,751
They say he rides in
an alabaster carriage
793
00:58:55,889 --> 00:58:57,431
with golden guardians to protect him.
794
00:58:58,601 --> 00:59:01,472
But he only appears to those
who have undertaken an epic quest!
795
00:59:02,273 --> 00:59:03,648
And have made it
796
00:59:04,025 --> 00:59:05,982
to the other side.
797
00:59:10,326 --> 00:59:11,524
The other side of what?
798
00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:13,578
It's a metaphor.
799
00:59:13,706 --> 00:59:14,702
My eye!
800
00:59:14,832 --> 00:59:16,326
That's gonna heal right up.
801
00:59:16,459 --> 00:59:20,410
Sheriff? What are you going to do
about Rattlesnake Jake?
802
00:59:21,007 --> 00:59:22,003
What? Where?
803
00:59:23,803 --> 00:59:27,718
Sorty about that. Word is
you come against him once or twice.
804
00:59:28,810 --> 00:59:30,090
Yeah.
805
00:59:30,229 --> 00:59:32,186
Jake. You mean my brother.
806
00:59:32,315 --> 00:59:34,142
-Your brother?
-That's what I said!
807
00:59:34,985 --> 00:59:37,523
But he's a snake and you're a lizard.
808
00:59:37,990 --> 00:59:40,398
Well, Momma had an active social life.
809
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:42,949
Did he ever bite you?
810
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,450
Sure enough did. Look at that baby.
Go ahead, you can touch it.
811
00:59:46,585 --> 00:59:50,453
That's interesting.
That there's a belly button.
812
00:59:50,633 --> 00:59:52,127
Luckily, I'm immune to his venom.
813
00:59:52,260 --> 00:59:54,134
Put some in my coffee
just to give it a little tang.
814
00:59:54,263 --> 00:59:56,172
Is it true he's only scared
of them hawks?
815
00:59:56,307 --> 00:59:59,891
Them's what we call
his natural predator.
816
01:00:01,690 --> 01:00:04,811
All this talk of that serpentine devil
is putting my quills on edge!
817
01:00:04,944 --> 01:00:06,901
I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir.
818
01:00:07,031 --> 01:00:10,152
Don't you all worty about a thing.
Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water
819
01:00:10,285 --> 01:00:12,242
and return to a hero's welcome.
820
01:00:13,415 --> 01:00:15,907
Friends, before we bunk down
821
01:00:16,043 --> 01:00:18,451
I'd like us all to join hands
for a moment,
822
01:00:18,589 --> 01:00:21,294
say a few words
to the Spirit of the West.
823
01:00:21,426 --> 01:00:23,004
That's a good idea.
824
01:00:25,181 --> 01:00:28,136
Ain't always spoken rightly to you,
Spirit of the West.
825
01:00:28,561 --> 01:00:34,150
But tonight I want to thank you for
bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives.
826
01:00:35,112 --> 01:00:36,820
It's a hard life we got.
827
01:00:36,948 --> 01:00:39,819
Sometimes I don't know how
we're gonna make it.
828
01:00:40,328 --> 01:00:43,745
But somehow, Sheriff Rango
makes me think we will.
829
01:00:44,792 --> 01:00:47,628
We needed a brave man
and you sent us one.
830
01:00:48,798 --> 01:00:51,800
Nice to have someone
to believe in again.
831
01:00:51,927 --> 01:00:55,511
Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen.
832
01:00:56,517 --> 01:00:58,344
-Amen.
-Amen.
833
01:01:30,231 --> 01:01:32,023
Just checking.
834
01:01:34,612 --> 01:01:37,317
-It's a little cold tonight.
-Thank you.
835
01:01:39,911 --> 01:01:42,699
You ever feel like those things
are looking at you?
836
01:01:42,874 --> 01:01:44,534
That's a Spanish dagger.
837
01:01:44,668 --> 01:01:47,456
But around here,
we just call them the Walking Cactus.
838
01:01:47,589 --> 01:01:48,620
Walking?
839
01:01:48,757 --> 01:01:52,590
There's an old legend they actually
walk across the desert to find water.
840
01:01:52,721 --> 01:01:56,471
When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late
watching them, to see if they'd move.
841
01:01:56,602 --> 01:02:00,648
I thought if I could follow them,
they'd lead me to someplace wonderful.
842
01:02:00,774 --> 01:02:04,393
Someplace with enough water
for evetyone.
843
01:02:05,322 --> 01:02:09,820
Night after night, I watched them.
I never saw them move.
844
01:02:10,747 --> 01:02:11,826
But you're still watching.
845
01:02:12,416 --> 01:02:14,954
Who doesn't want to find
someplace wonderful?
846
01:02:15,754 --> 01:02:18,709
We'll find the water, Beans.
I promise you.
847
01:02:22,179 --> 01:02:24,505
That's such a lonely sound.
848
01:02:25,392 --> 01:02:27,349
You ever get lonely?
849
01:02:27,478 --> 01:02:28,806
Sometimes.
850
01:02:28,939 --> 01:02:33,437
I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer
and evetyone likes you so much.
851
01:02:33,988 --> 01:02:36,943
-I never made friends easy like that.
-No?
852
01:02:37,743 --> 01:02:40,199
No, we're pretty isolated
out there on the ranch,
853
01:02:40,330 --> 01:02:43,000
sort of like being sealed up
in a little box.
854
01:02:43,126 --> 01:02:46,496
Don't really see a lot of folks.
855
01:02:46,630 --> 01:02:48,837
I wouldn't know what that's like.
856
01:02:49,676 --> 01:02:52,214
There someone special
in your life, Rango?
857
01:02:52,806 --> 01:02:55,677
There used to be.
But she couldn't keep her head.
858
01:02:55,810 --> 01:02:57,803
Besides, my life's too dangerous
for that kind of thing.
859
01:02:57,938 --> 01:03:00,975
You know, it's an awful solitaty
existence out there on the prairie.
860
01:03:01,109 --> 01:03:03,316
Riding the ranges and the suchlike.
861
01:03:05,073 --> 01:03:06,271
Beans?
862
01:03:07,952 --> 01:03:09,197
Beans?
863
01:03:26,770 --> 01:03:30,436
I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna
whup you like a red-headed stepchild!
864
01:03:30,567 --> 01:03:31,847
Choleric varmints, ain't they?
865
01:03:31,986 --> 01:03:34,904
Dysfunctional family. Need intervention.
866
01:03:36,075 --> 01:03:37,450
What's that coming?
867
01:03:39,538 --> 01:03:40,949
It's the water.
868
01:03:43,043 --> 01:03:46,876
I have a plan, and each and evety one
of you has a part to play.
869
01:03:47,007 --> 01:03:48,205
What do I do?
870
01:03:48,342 --> 01:03:50,086
Spoons, you got
the most important job of all.
871
01:03:50,429 --> 01:03:52,422
You stay up here on the ridge,
and if anything goes wrong,
872
01:03:52,598 --> 01:03:55,386
you give the signal.
873
01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:09,737
Hey, Beans.
What size dress you wearing?
874
01:04:09,873 --> 01:04:12,495
-He got it!
-Hallelujah!
875
01:04:12,627 --> 01:04:14,252
-He found the water!
-You did it, son.
876
01:04:14,379 --> 01:04:15,375
Well, actually...
877
01:04:15,506 --> 01:04:18,342
Why can't you be all brainy
like your brother?
878
01:04:18,468 --> 01:04:20,841
Pappy, about that water.
There's something I gots to tell you.
879
01:04:20,972 --> 01:04:22,764
Hush up, now. Somebody's coming.
880
01:04:25,228 --> 01:04:28,598
Good sirs, gracious good afternoon
to thee and thee and thee.
881
01:04:28,733 --> 01:04:30,892
May I present Madame Lupone's
882
01:04:31,028 --> 01:04:33,436
Terpsichorean Troupe
of Travelling Thespians!
883
01:04:35,284 --> 01:04:37,407
-What is that?
-I think they's thespians.
884
01:04:37,537 --> 01:04:40,622
Thespians?
That's illegal in seven states!
885
01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:44,535
The stage is set. The princess
prepares to take her own life.
886
01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:45,917
I yearn for love.
887
01:04:47,634 --> 01:04:49,294
Meanwhile, the lone sentty
stands watch at the castle gate.
888
01:04:51,431 --> 01:04:53,388
Stands watch at the castle gate...
889
01:04:54,310 --> 01:04:56,303
Hark! Who goes there?
890
01:04:56,438 --> 01:04:58,182
This plot is highly predictable.
891
01:04:58,316 --> 01:04:59,644
Quiet! This is my favourite part.
892
01:04:59,776 --> 01:05:01,318
Arriving to great fanfare
'twas her aged father,
893
01:05:05,910 --> 01:05:07,737
strucketh by Cupid.
894
01:05:09,081 --> 01:05:12,166
Prithee, unhand my fair daughter
895
01:05:12,294 --> 01:05:13,919
and reach for the...
896
01:05:15,465 --> 01:05:18,087
-Line?
-"Reach for the sky!"
897
01:05:20,723 --> 01:05:22,265
What was that?
898
01:05:22,392 --> 01:05:24,349
Must be that immersive theatre.
899
01:05:24,478 --> 01:05:25,676
We got you surrounded!
900
01:05:25,813 --> 01:05:29,646
You and your entire family get
your hands up where I can see them.
901
01:05:29,777 --> 01:05:32,185
My entire family?
902
01:05:36,870 --> 01:05:41,083
Grits and spit and collard greens
903
01:05:41,210 --> 01:05:45,624
Waffle chitlins, monkey brains
904
01:05:45,758 --> 01:05:49,508
Refried bones and booger blood
905
01:05:49,638 --> 01:05:52,972
Pickled eggs and flaps of mud
906
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:58,516
It's a full house.
907
01:05:58,651 --> 01:06:01,902
Looks like we're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned standoff.
908
01:06:02,824 --> 01:06:06,775
I'll have you know, you're not looking
at our entire contingent.
909
01:06:13,422 --> 01:06:15,830
What's that supposed to be?
910
01:06:15,967 --> 01:06:17,342
That's the signal.
911
01:06:17,469 --> 01:06:21,053
That's the signal!
Something must have gone wrong!
912
01:06:24,896 --> 01:06:28,847
So something's supposed to happen?
913
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:32,402
I am open to suggestions.
914
01:06:40,335 --> 01:06:41,877
Run!
915
01:06:48,096 --> 01:06:49,259
Get on the wagon!
916
01:06:55,356 --> 01:06:58,061
Should we have ourselves
some sport, chill'ens?
917
01:06:59,028 --> 01:07:00,985
I likes it when they run.
918
01:07:01,114 --> 01:07:04,069
Maybelle, give the holler!
919
01:07:10,711 --> 01:07:11,991
Looks like we made it!
920
01:07:12,129 --> 01:07:13,588
That audience was quite responsive.
921
01:07:13,715 --> 01:07:16,503
Yeah, well, I think that
chromosome pool is about dried up.
922
01:07:43,799 --> 01:07:45,174
We got bats!
923
01:07:46,136 --> 01:07:47,880
Here! You drive.
924
01:07:55,941 --> 01:07:58,314
Looks like there's gonna be
soup tonight!
925
01:07:58,779 --> 01:08:00,855
Come on, let's get some!
926
01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:13,457
What in tarnation?
Don't shoot the water!
927
01:08:13,633 --> 01:08:17,050
Jedidiah! It's time for
the Alabama squeeze box!
928
01:08:17,179 --> 01:08:18,590
Okay, Pa!
929
01:08:25,608 --> 01:08:27,482
I am sensing hostility.
930
01:08:27,611 --> 01:08:28,774
Incoming!
931
01:08:34,621 --> 01:08:35,819
Hello!
932
01:08:35,956 --> 01:08:37,119
Goodbye!
933
01:08:46,971 --> 01:08:49,297
Lasso that swine!
934
01:09:09,712 --> 01:09:11,539
I suggest we take evasive action!
935
01:09:11,673 --> 01:09:13,582
I suggest you shut up and shoot!
936
01:09:13,717 --> 01:09:16,255
-What happened to the Sheriff?
-He had a previous engagement!
937
01:09:16,388 --> 01:09:19,010
Boseefus, give them some gumbo now!
938
01:09:25,734 --> 01:09:28,356
What was that? Go check it out!
939
01:09:29,698 --> 01:09:31,358
What is it? Is there a problem?
940
01:09:33,829 --> 01:09:35,204
You could call it that.
941
01:10:23,733 --> 01:10:24,764
Headache.
942
01:10:27,488 --> 01:10:29,564
Is that all you got?
943
01:10:47,516 --> 01:10:49,723
That wasn't altogether unpleasant!
944
01:10:51,355 --> 01:10:52,351
Eat lead!
945
01:11:03,122 --> 01:11:04,616
Here, hold these.
946
01:11:15,472 --> 01:11:17,180
Get your hands off me!
947
01:11:22,274 --> 01:11:23,685
Oh, I'm sorty.
948
01:11:32,538 --> 01:11:33,617
Jump!
949
01:11:56,572 --> 01:11:58,066
It's impossible.
950
01:11:58,575 --> 01:12:01,446
It can't be. It's empty.
951
01:12:01,579 --> 01:12:03,239
There's no water!
952
01:12:03,373 --> 01:12:06,790
No water?
Then what the hell we been fighting for?
953
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:11,133
Sir, you have defiled and desecrated
the vety sustenance of our livelihood!
954
01:12:11,259 --> 01:12:13,833
I think that there fella in the purty dress
is the Sheriff.
955
01:12:13,971 --> 01:12:16,509
That's the same fellow what give us
a prospecting permit?
956
01:12:16,642 --> 01:12:19,478
-A what?
-lrrelevant! Obfuscation.
957
01:12:19,604 --> 01:12:21,561
You and your kin are under arrest
for bank robbety
958
01:12:21,691 --> 01:12:23,684
and the murder
of our beloved financial advisor
959
01:12:23,819 --> 01:12:27,271
Johannes Merrimack the Third,
AKA, Fluffy Joe.
960
01:12:27,407 --> 01:12:28,949
Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody.
961
01:12:29,076 --> 01:12:31,402
We done tunnelled into that vault,
but there weren't nothing in it.
962
01:12:31,538 --> 01:12:33,447
Somebody done robbed that bank
before we robbed it.
963
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,290
Then where'd you get this here jug?
964
01:12:35,418 --> 01:12:37,375
That's what I been ttying
to tell you, Pappy.
965
01:12:37,505 --> 01:12:38,668
I found it in the desert.
966
01:12:38,798 --> 01:12:42,002
Then why in tarnation
did you bring it here?
967
01:12:42,136 --> 01:12:46,051
Hold on! You're saying this here jug
was empty when you found it?
968
01:12:46,183 --> 01:12:47,381
That's right.
969
01:12:47,519 --> 01:12:48,799
I don't believe a word of it.
970
01:12:48,937 --> 01:12:50,431
-Let's hang them, Sheriff!
-String them up!
971
01:12:50,565 --> 01:12:51,976
Who'd dump water in the desert?
972
01:12:52,609 --> 01:12:54,151
Wouldn't be the first time.
973
01:12:54,695 --> 01:12:57,447
It's a puzzle!
It's like a big old mammogram!
974
01:12:57,574 --> 01:12:59,401
What's going on, Sheriff?
975
01:12:59,536 --> 01:13:00,864
I don't know.
976
01:13:00,996 --> 01:13:04,995
But I'm going to strip away this mystety
and expose its private parts.
977
01:13:05,127 --> 01:13:07,334
You and your kin are coming with me.
978
01:13:11,886 --> 01:13:13,084
They're coming!
979
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,882
Here they come!
980
01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:18,592
Looks like they got them robbers.
981
01:13:41,178 --> 01:13:42,553
Where's the water?
982
01:13:45,642 --> 01:13:47,551
There weren't no water.
983
01:14:01,748 --> 01:14:03,408
Where is he going?
984
01:14:04,544 --> 01:14:06,952
He's going to see the Mayor.
985
01:14:09,134 --> 01:14:11,091
He's got to be pleased with that.
986
01:14:11,220 --> 01:14:12,964
That's a good one, boss!
987
01:14:22,820 --> 01:14:23,899
That's interesting.
988
01:14:24,030 --> 01:14:26,866
I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango,
989
01:14:26,992 --> 01:14:30,278
but there's a certain protocol
to this game, you understand.
990
01:14:30,414 --> 01:14:32,703
I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol.
991
01:14:32,834 --> 01:14:35,752
Well, that's good, 'cause you got
a few questions to answer
992
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:38,122
and I've got my own protocol.
993
01:14:42,180 --> 01:14:45,051
But why would anyone dump water
in the blooming desert?
994
01:14:45,184 --> 01:14:49,183
It does seem a bit naive, taking the word
of admitted bank robbers.
995
01:14:49,315 --> 01:14:52,899
Besides, once they hang,
your job is done.
996
01:14:53,029 --> 01:14:54,488
-Bravo!
-Job well done.
997
01:14:54,614 --> 01:14:57,532
But what if somebody did rob the bank
before they got there?
998
01:14:57,660 --> 01:14:59,783
And who would do that, Mr Rango?
999
01:14:59,913 --> 01:15:02,120
I was hoping you could tell me.
1000
01:15:02,250 --> 01:15:05,205
That sounds marginally
near to an accusation.
1001
01:15:05,338 --> 01:15:07,295
Take it any way you like.
1002
01:15:12,681 --> 01:15:16,265
Something you said keeps rattling
around in my frontal lobe.
1003
01:15:16,395 --> 01:15:17,510
What's that?
1004
01:15:18,231 --> 01:15:21,897
"Control the water
and you control everything."
1005
01:15:22,570 --> 01:15:24,610
Come now, Mr Rango.
1006
01:15:24,740 --> 01:15:27,611
You attribute divine power to me.
1007
01:15:27,744 --> 01:15:30,865
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1008
01:15:33,419 --> 01:15:36,504
You've obviously mastered this game.
1009
01:15:36,632 --> 01:15:40,049
Well, I've been playing it
for many years, sir.
1010
01:15:40,179 --> 01:15:43,300
I was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1011
01:15:43,433 --> 01:15:46,055
I watched the march of progress,
1012
01:15:46,187 --> 01:15:48,643
and I learned a thing or two.
1013
01:15:49,191 --> 01:15:52,312
Perhaps it's time you started
to take the long view,
1014
01:15:52,446 --> 01:15:56,231
begin to appreciate
the broad sweep of histoty.
1015
01:15:56,952 --> 01:15:58,411
Look out there, son.
1016
01:15:59,414 --> 01:16:01,740
You can almost see time passing.
1017
01:16:05,089 --> 01:16:07,082
What are you building out here?
1018
01:16:07,217 --> 01:16:10,503
The future, Mr Rango, the future.
1019
01:16:10,638 --> 01:16:14,304
One day soon,
all this is going to fade into myth,
1020
01:16:14,435 --> 01:16:17,223
the frontier town, the lawman,
the gunslinger.
1021
01:16:17,356 --> 01:16:19,729
There's just no place
for them any more.
1022
01:16:19,859 --> 01:16:23,110
-We're civilised now.
-That's right, civilised.
1023
01:16:23,990 --> 01:16:25,568
That's what the future holds.
1024
01:16:25,701 --> 01:16:29,035
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1025
01:16:29,456 --> 01:16:33,289
Is that what happened to
Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind?
1026
01:16:33,420 --> 01:16:38,048
Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget
you're just one little lizard.
1027
01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:42,219
You seem to forget
I'm the law around these parts.
1028
01:16:44,936 --> 01:16:47,973
Our new sheriff has been
playing the hero for so long,
1029
01:16:48,108 --> 01:16:50,481
he's actually starting to believe it.
1030
01:16:50,611 --> 01:16:53,019
Call in Rattlesnake Jake.
1031
01:16:53,156 --> 01:16:55,778
But Jake's the Grim Reaper.
1032
01:16:55,910 --> 01:16:58,236
He never leaves
without taking a blooming soul.
1033
01:16:58,372 --> 01:16:59,570
Do it!
1034
01:17:14,103 --> 01:17:18,316
Now be still. You gotta look
presentable to meet your maker.
1035
01:17:24,117 --> 01:17:27,487
Death has arrived
1036
01:17:32,003 --> 01:17:36,334
How will the hero survive?
1037
01:17:40,139 --> 01:17:43,260
The Mayor has bought up
all the land in the valley,
1038
01:17:43,394 --> 01:17:45,221
except for your ranch, Miss Beans.
1039
01:17:45,355 --> 01:17:49,140
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1040
01:17:49,277 --> 01:17:52,065
Unless he controls the water.
1041
01:17:52,198 --> 01:17:54,025
Like a monkey's bladder!
1042
01:17:54,159 --> 01:17:56,401
Then he could bring it back
once he's bought up all the land.
1043
01:17:56,537 --> 01:17:57,616
But how does he control the water?
1044
01:17:59,959 --> 01:18:03,080
Well, you gotta spend some time
and train them.
1045
01:18:03,213 --> 01:18:06,250
'Cause you know monkeys, when
they do go, you rub their nose in it.
1046
01:18:06,510 --> 01:18:08,467
Sheriff, we got a problem.
1047
01:18:15,189 --> 01:18:18,523
Hold on, Beans.
That won't be necessaty.
1048
01:18:21,990 --> 01:18:25,324
-Hang him till his head turns blue!
-Give us them robbers!
1049
01:18:25,453 --> 01:18:27,861
Hold on! Calm down, evetyone!
Let me talk!
1050
01:18:27,998 --> 01:18:30,240
-Nail them to the courthouse!
-Now, calm down, evetybody.
1051
01:18:30,377 --> 01:18:32,999
Get them out here
so we can cut off their giblets!
1052
01:18:33,631 --> 01:18:35,209
You, too, Spoons?
1053
01:18:35,342 --> 01:18:38,676
They done taken that water.
They taken everything we got!
1054
01:18:38,805 --> 01:18:41,760
No one's stringing anyone up.
Not while I'm sheriff.
1055
01:18:41,893 --> 01:18:43,091
But this is all his fault!
1056
01:18:43,228 --> 01:18:45,554
You said you's gonna
bring the water back.
1057
01:18:45,690 --> 01:18:48,182
It's just, we got no hope
without that water.
1058
01:18:48,319 --> 01:18:50,193
We got nothing left to believe in.
1059
01:18:50,906 --> 01:18:52,400
You see that sign up there?
1060
01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,359
As long as that sign says "Sheriff,"
1061
01:18:55,495 --> 01:18:57,821
you can believe that there's
law and order in this town.
1062
01:18:57,957 --> 01:19:02,003
But without law and order,
ruminate on that. Oh, yeah.
1063
01:19:02,130 --> 01:19:05,298
Starts out slow, like a fungus.
1064
01:19:05,426 --> 01:19:08,048
Somebody says a cross word.
Accusations start flying.
1065
01:19:08,180 --> 01:19:10,968
Neighbour turns on neighbour.
Pretty soon, we're eating our children!
1066
01:19:11,101 --> 01:19:12,476
And then dogs and cats
are getting together
1067
01:19:12,603 --> 01:19:15,225
to create all sorts of unnatural
mutant aberrations!
1068
01:19:16,275 --> 01:19:19,811
So, you want something
to believe in, Spoons?
1069
01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:21,478
Believe in me.
1070
01:19:23,118 --> 01:19:25,075
Believe in that there sign.
1071
01:19:26,038 --> 01:19:29,538
For as long as it hangs there,
we got hope.
1072
01:19:54,996 --> 01:19:57,404
Hello, brother.
1073
01:19:57,708 --> 01:19:59,535
Thirsty?
1074
01:20:10,351 --> 01:20:14,813
Long time, brother.
How you been keeping?
1075
01:20:15,358 --> 01:20:16,983
Well, you know...
1076
01:20:19,489 --> 01:20:23,737
I hear you been telling about how
you killed all them Jenkins brothers.
1077
01:20:23,870 --> 01:20:26,492
With one bullet, wasn't it?
1078
01:20:26,624 --> 01:20:28,498
Isn't that right?
1079
01:20:28,627 --> 01:20:32,840
All these good folks here
believe your little stories, don't they?
1080
01:20:33,049 --> 01:20:36,751
Why, they believe you're just
a stone killer, don't they?
1081
01:20:36,888 --> 01:20:40,056
Seems these folks trust you.
1082
01:20:40,226 --> 01:20:43,263
They think you're gonna save
their little town.
1083
01:20:43,397 --> 01:20:46,849
They think you're gonna save
their little souls!
1084
01:20:50,908 --> 01:20:54,408
But we know better, don't we?
1085
01:21:00,004 --> 01:21:03,623
So why don't you show your friends here
what you're made of?
1086
01:21:03,759 --> 01:21:06,547
Show them who you really are.
1087
01:21:06,680 --> 01:21:09,682
Why don't you just pull your gun
and shoot me?
1088
01:21:09,810 --> 01:21:12,681
But, of course, you won't need all these.
1089
01:21:12,814 --> 01:21:14,723
Just one, right?
1090
01:21:17,028 --> 01:21:20,445
Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger.
1091
01:21:23,579 --> 01:21:25,905
You got killer in your eyes, son?
1092
01:21:28,252 --> 01:21:29,367
I don't see it.
1093
01:21:32,633 --> 01:21:35,884
You didn't do any of them things
you said, did you?
1094
01:21:36,013 --> 01:21:40,012
You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers.
You ain't even from the West!
1095
01:21:40,144 --> 01:21:41,259
Are you?
1096
01:21:42,063 --> 01:21:44,685
-Say it!
-No.
1097
01:21:44,817 --> 01:21:48,898
Speak up.
I don't think your friends here heard you.
1098
01:21:50,534 --> 01:21:51,565
No.
1099
01:21:51,702 --> 01:21:54,194
All you've done is lie
to these good people.
1100
01:21:54,331 --> 01:21:58,496
You ain't nothing but a fake
and a coward. Isn't that right?
1101
01:21:58,837 --> 01:21:59,952
Yes.
1102
01:22:00,130 --> 01:22:01,790
-Louder!
-Yes.
1103
01:22:06,306 --> 01:22:09,427
Listen close, you pathetic fraud.
1104
01:22:09,560 --> 01:22:12,562
This is my town now.
1105
01:22:12,690 --> 01:22:17,069
If I ever see you again, I will take
your soul straight down to hell!
1106
01:22:34,053 --> 01:22:35,631
Who are you?
1107
01:24:32,387 --> 01:24:33,798
Who am I?
1108
01:24:35,975 --> 01:24:37,683
I'm nobody.
1109
01:26:32,014 --> 01:26:33,888
Golden guardians.
1110
01:26:35,894 --> 01:26:37,472
The alabaster carriage.
1111
01:26:42,528 --> 01:26:44,936
The Spirit of the West.
1112
01:26:49,455 --> 01:26:53,288
Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir?
1113
01:26:55,880 --> 01:27:00,840
There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to
dig deep to find what you're looking for.
1114
01:27:02,515 --> 01:27:03,890
So you made it.
1115
01:27:04,893 --> 01:27:06,091
Is this heaven?
1116
01:27:06,228 --> 01:27:09,978
If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts
with Kim Novak.
1117
01:27:10,276 --> 01:27:11,439
Yeah.
1118
01:27:11,653 --> 01:27:14,774
No kidding.
What are you doing out here?
1119
01:27:15,241 --> 01:27:17,198
Searching, same as you.
1120
01:27:18,162 --> 01:27:21,448
I don't even know
what I'm looking for any more.
1121
01:27:21,583 --> 01:27:23,457
I don't even know who I am.
1122
01:27:24,045 --> 01:27:26,537
They used to call you
the Man with No Name.
1123
01:27:27,926 --> 01:27:31,794
These days they got a name
for just about everything.
1124
01:27:31,931 --> 01:27:36,179
Doesn't matter what they call you.
It's the deeds make the man.
1125
01:27:36,312 --> 01:27:40,062
Yeah, but my deeds just made things
worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney!
1126
01:27:40,193 --> 01:27:44,061
My friends believed in me,
but they need some kind of hero.
1127
01:27:44,199 --> 01:27:45,859
Then be a hero.
1128
01:27:45,993 --> 01:27:49,861
No. No, no, you don't understand.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
1129
01:27:49,998 --> 01:27:54,163
That's right. You came a long way
to find something that isn't out here.
1130
01:27:55,298 --> 01:27:57,968
Don't you see? It's not about you.
1131
01:27:59,011 --> 01:28:00,505
It's about them.
1132
01:28:03,517 --> 01:28:04,892
But I can't go back.
1133
01:28:05,020 --> 01:28:07,346
Don't know that you got a choice, son.
1134
01:28:11,237 --> 01:28:13,989
No man can walk out on his own stoty.
1135
01:28:26,466 --> 01:28:28,174
So you made it.
1136
01:28:29,596 --> 01:28:33,429
That's right, amigo.
The other side of the road.
1137
01:28:35,938 --> 01:28:38,180
Did you just see that?
1138
01:28:38,609 --> 01:28:41,445
We each see what we need to see.
1139
01:28:42,489 --> 01:28:44,446
Beautiful, isn't it?
1140
01:28:56,509 --> 01:28:57,588
Yeah.
1141
01:28:58,762 --> 01:29:00,090
It is.
1142
01:29:00,723 --> 01:29:04,473
Come, my friend.
I want to show you something.
1143
01:29:07,524 --> 01:29:12,816
Many years ago,
this entire valley was covered in agua.
1144
01:29:12,949 --> 01:29:16,864
Now only one question remains.
1145
01:29:18,123 --> 01:29:19,617
Where did it go?
1146
01:29:54,674 --> 01:29:56,714
They follow the water.
1147
01:29:56,844 --> 01:29:59,929
They follow the water! Come on!
1148
01:30:34,856 --> 01:30:39,400
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1149
01:30:40,196 --> 01:30:42,105
What are you building out here?
1150
01:30:42,241 --> 01:30:44,115
The future, Mr Rango.
1151
01:30:44,244 --> 01:30:48,742
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1152
01:30:51,212 --> 01:30:54,048
I was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1153
01:30:57,137 --> 01:30:59,711
I watched the march of progress
1154
01:30:59,849 --> 01:31:02,091
and I learned a thing or two.
1155
01:31:07,443 --> 01:31:09,566
Control the water
1156
01:31:09,696 --> 01:31:12,069
and you control everything.
1157
01:31:18,959 --> 01:31:21,166
Come now, Mr Rango.
1158
01:31:21,296 --> 01:31:23,088
You attribute divine power to me.
1159
01:31:23,215 --> 01:31:25,753
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1160
01:32:02,729 --> 01:32:04,686
What now, amigo?
1161
01:32:12,368 --> 01:32:15,370
No man can walk out on his own stoty.
1162
01:32:16,958 --> 01:32:18,369
I'm going back.
1163
01:32:19,879 --> 01:32:21,207
But why?
1164
01:32:22,382 --> 01:32:24,339
Because that's who I am.
1165
01:32:36,527 --> 01:32:41,155
You got a lot of nerve showing up here,
lawman. What is it you want?
1166
01:32:42,243 --> 01:32:45,862
Your pappy and them boys are about
to hang for something they didn't do.
1167
01:32:47,334 --> 01:32:48,959
But I've got a plan.
1168
01:33:17,126 --> 01:33:19,914
I appreciate how difficult
this is for you, Beans.
1169
01:33:20,088 --> 01:33:23,006
But you're making a practical decision.
1170
01:33:23,134 --> 01:33:25,839
Decisions, decisions.
1171
01:33:25,972 --> 01:33:29,093
There's no need for any more suffering.
1172
01:33:35,652 --> 01:33:39,104
Your family's ranch is nothing
but a wasteland now.
1173
01:33:39,699 --> 01:33:44,409
Sign the deed and relieve yourself
of your father's burden.
1174
01:33:46,501 --> 01:33:49,289
My daddy was not a burden!
1175
01:33:49,421 --> 01:33:51,794
Keep your blood money
and I'll keep my land!
1176
01:33:57,975 --> 01:34:01,096
Do what he says or,
by all the fires of the black pit,
1177
01:34:01,230 --> 01:34:04,600
I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes
out of your skull!
1178
01:34:05,402 --> 01:34:07,561
Now, hold on, Jake.
There's no need to...
1179
01:34:07,697 --> 01:34:09,986
Let me do my job! You brought me in.
1180
01:34:10,117 --> 01:34:12,655
Now we're gonna play this thing
out to the end!
1181
01:34:13,497 --> 01:34:15,905
Sign the damn paper, woman!
1182
01:34:16,209 --> 01:34:17,917
Go to hell!
1183
01:34:18,170 --> 01:34:20,459
Where do you think I come from?
1184
01:34:21,091 --> 01:34:23,380
Look into my eyes.
1185
01:34:23,511 --> 01:34:25,837
I want to see you die.
1186
01:34:30,980 --> 01:34:32,178
Jake!
1187
01:34:35,570 --> 01:34:37,527
I'm calling you out!
1188
01:34:39,826 --> 01:34:41,285
Jake!
1189
01:34:41,662 --> 01:34:46,041
This day
just got a little more interesting.
1190
01:35:13,331 --> 01:35:14,494
Put her down.
1191
01:35:14,625 --> 01:35:18,209
Or what, little man?
You going to kill me?
1192
01:35:18,338 --> 01:35:20,165
That's just about the size of it.
1193
01:35:22,928 --> 01:35:25,502
-Get your filthy paws off me!
-Shut your gob!
1194
01:35:25,640 --> 01:35:28,761
All right, Sheriff, make your move.
1195
01:37:01,108 --> 01:37:02,567
Now, amigos!
1196
01:37:07,158 --> 01:37:09,780
-Heave! Heave!
-Heave! Heave!
1197
01:37:27,854 --> 01:37:29,099
That was a bad idea.
1198
01:37:34,530 --> 01:37:35,526
Thirsty, brother?
1199
01:37:39,203 --> 01:37:41,279
Here it comes!
1200
01:37:43,126 --> 01:37:44,122
No. No!
1201
01:37:48,550 --> 01:37:49,748
It's a miracle!
1202
01:37:49,927 --> 01:37:51,302
Look out!
1203
01:37:58,439 --> 01:38:00,099
-Lookee there!
-What is that?
1204
01:38:02,069 --> 01:38:03,444
It's our salvation, Pa!
1205
01:38:03,571 --> 01:38:06,656
It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out!
1206
01:38:16,923 --> 01:38:20,969
I'm gonna blow so many holes in you,
your guts'll be leaking lead!
1207
01:38:21,096 --> 01:38:23,801
Well, then
it's a good thing I brought some backup.
1208
01:38:35,116 --> 01:38:36,147
What?
1209
01:38:39,956 --> 01:38:41,783
Ain't no hawk.
1210
01:38:41,917 --> 01:38:44,325
Ain't nothing but bats!
1211
01:38:46,548 --> 01:38:50,761
Stick to the plan, boys!
Let's bleed that devil dty!
1212
01:39:02,237 --> 01:39:04,313
It only takes one bullet.
1213
01:39:04,490 --> 01:39:06,566
You ain't got the nerve.
1214
01:39:07,787 --> 01:39:09,198
Tty me.
1215
01:39:13,586 --> 01:39:15,164
Oh, Mr Rango.
1216
01:39:15,881 --> 01:39:17,541
Aren't you forgetting something?
1217
01:39:22,849 --> 01:39:24,758
Hand me your gun, Sheriff.
1218
01:39:27,690 --> 01:39:29,434
Now, Mr Rango.
1219
01:39:41,626 --> 01:39:43,868
Beans! Hold on.
Don't worty, I got a plan.
1220
01:39:44,880 --> 01:39:46,956
Help!
1221
01:39:47,092 --> 01:39:49,381
Open the door!
1222
01:39:50,054 --> 01:39:51,513
Okay, plan B.
1223
01:39:52,725 --> 01:39:53,804
Beans, you're mumbling.
1224
01:39:54,394 --> 01:39:58,523
All my problems taken care of
except for one.
1225
01:39:59,234 --> 01:40:00,313
It's a new West, Jake.
1226
01:40:00,444 --> 01:40:04,775
There's no room for gunslingers
any more. We're businessmen now.
1227
01:40:04,909 --> 01:40:06,617
Yeah, we got new hats.
1228
01:40:06,745 --> 01:40:10,329
Where I come from,
we call this improvisation.
1229
01:40:11,752 --> 01:40:13,460
You came back.
1230
01:40:21,724 --> 01:40:22,887
What was that?
1231
01:40:23,018 --> 01:40:25,556
No need to panic,
but I think you just swallowed plan B.
1232
01:40:25,730 --> 01:40:26,809
What?
1233
01:40:28,442 --> 01:40:29,936
Okay, panic time.
1234
01:40:30,069 --> 01:40:32,940
You and the Sheriff are more alike
than you think.
1235
01:40:33,115 --> 01:40:34,907
You're nothing but legends.
1236
01:40:35,034 --> 01:40:38,736
Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed.
1237
01:40:42,003 --> 01:40:44,577
One last bullet to kill one last outlaw.
1238
01:40:46,968 --> 01:40:48,628
How fitting.
1239
01:41:22,977 --> 01:41:25,100
Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together,
1240
01:41:25,230 --> 01:41:29,359
we can reach a mutually beneficial
solution to our current situation.
1241
01:41:29,486 --> 01:41:31,693
You better take it up with him.
1242
01:41:43,005 --> 01:41:44,713
One bullet.
1243
01:41:46,176 --> 01:41:48,465
I tip my hat to you,
1244
01:41:48,638 --> 01:41:51,474
one legend to another.
1245
01:41:53,353 --> 01:41:55,512
What was that you said?
1246
01:41:55,648 --> 01:42:00,311
"Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed."
1247
01:42:00,530 --> 01:42:02,606
No, Jake! No!
1248
01:42:15,009 --> 01:42:16,337
Rango!
1249
01:42:17,804 --> 01:42:21,589
You brought the water back,
just like you promised.
1250
01:42:21,726 --> 01:42:23,351
You really are a hero.
1251
01:42:24,689 --> 01:42:27,810
Well, the thing about heroes is,
whenever you...
1252
01:42:27,944 --> 01:42:29,688
Don't spoil it.
1253
01:42:29,821 --> 01:42:31,019
Right.
1254
01:42:31,574 --> 01:42:34,066
Well, I don't know about you all,
but I could sure go for a dip.
1255
01:42:38,458 --> 01:42:41,329
And so the lizard completes his journey
1256
01:42:41,463 --> 01:42:45,462
from humble beginnings
to the legend we sing of today.
1257
01:42:45,593 --> 01:42:50,256
And although he is certain to die,
perhaps from a household accident,
1258
01:42:50,392 --> 01:42:53,394
which account
for 65% of all unnatural deaths,
1259
01:42:53,521 --> 01:42:56,938
the people of the village
will honour his memoty
1260
01:42:57,110 --> 01:43:00,231
even as they abandon their dignity.
1261
01:43:07,875 --> 01:43:10,201
-I'm going in.
-How about a cold one, there?
1262
01:43:10,337 --> 01:43:12,330
Water ain't money. Money is money.
1263
01:43:12,465 --> 01:43:14,505
Well, I ain't got no...
1264
01:43:15,719 --> 01:43:16,917
We have a problem.
1265
01:43:17,054 --> 01:43:19,676
Who let Snuggles in the pool again?
1266
01:43:19,808 --> 01:43:22,216
I really think you complete me.
1267
01:43:22,354 --> 01:43:24,513
Prithee, unhand my fair maiden.
1268
01:43:24,648 --> 01:43:27,733
-Cut. Cut. Evetybody, take five.
-How can they take this any more?
1269
01:43:30,740 --> 01:43:32,199
Oh, you kids.
1270
01:43:32,326 --> 01:43:34,153
What did you do that for?
1271
01:43:34,287 --> 01:43:36,695
I was just checking.
I hope you don't get too sunburned.
1272
01:43:36,832 --> 01:43:39,039
You can peel a man's face right off.
1273
01:43:39,169 --> 01:43:40,580
-What is it?
-That there's some human spleen.
1274
01:43:40,713 --> 01:43:41,709
Don't touch it.
1275
01:43:41,839 --> 01:43:43,084
That's the second time
that's happened to me.
1276
01:43:43,216 --> 01:43:44,758
This water thing's great.
1277
01:43:44,885 --> 01:43:46,344
I'm urinating right now.
1278
01:43:46,471 --> 01:43:49,556
Adult swim, next five minutes.
1279
01:43:49,684 --> 01:43:52,010
Stay between the buoys.
1280
01:43:52,145 --> 01:43:53,425
I packed your lunch. Danish is in there
1281
01:43:53,564 --> 01:43:55,224
and I picked the raisins out
just the way you like it.
1282
01:43:55,358 --> 01:43:57,351
Don't forget, your nasal spray is
in your saddle-bag...
1283
01:43:57,486 --> 01:43:59,064
-Beans!
-...and your moisturising lotion...
1284
01:43:59,197 --> 01:44:01,404
-Now, Beans! We've talked about this.
-Lotion?
1285
01:44:01,534 --> 01:44:04,239
That's for my gun. That's gun lotion.
1286
01:44:04,455 --> 01:44:05,949
Sherriff, where are you headed?
1287
01:44:06,082 --> 01:44:08,953
There's trouble down a dty creek.
Bad Bill's been acting up again.
1288
01:44:09,086 --> 01:44:10,913
Now, honey, you come back
with all your digits.
1289
01:44:11,047 --> 01:44:12,375
And don't go ttying to be a hero.
1290
01:44:12,508 --> 01:44:13,919
Beans, you are missing the point.
1291
01:44:14,051 --> 01:44:16,340
I got an image to protect now.
1292
01:44:17,473 --> 01:44:18,967
Where's my Tic Tacs?
1293
01:44:20,268 --> 01:44:22,225
-I found them.
-What's going on?
1294
01:44:22,438 --> 01:44:25,143
You know, in order to satisfy the needs
of the collective,
1295
01:44:25,276 --> 01:44:27,020
the hero must abandon the self
1296
01:44:27,195 --> 01:44:31,110
and solidify his image as an icon
that will forever be remembered.
1297
01:44:32,035 --> 01:44:34,443
So, this is the sunset shot.
1298
01:44:42,842 --> 01:44:45,334
Give them a good one, amigo.
1299
01:44:54,442 --> 01:44:56,067
Ready, Excelsior?
1300
01:44:56,236 --> 01:44:58,193
My fellow comrades.
1301
01:44:58,322 --> 01:45:00,896
There will be times
when you doubt yourself.
1302
01:45:01,034 --> 01:45:04,368
When you feel pummelled
by the cataclysms of life,
1303
01:45:04,497 --> 01:45:08,448
remember this moment.
Remember me.
1304
01:45:08,753 --> 01:45:11,624
Know that I will be there watching you,
1305
01:45:11,799 --> 01:45:14,717
sometimes at inappropriate moments.
1306
01:45:15,054 --> 01:45:17,296
That's part of the deal.
1307
01:45:17,432 --> 01:45:21,051
And remember, within all of us resides
1308
01:45:21,188 --> 01:45:23,726
the true Spirit of the...
1309
01:45:25,611 --> 01:45:26,690
Let's take it from the top.
100233
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