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I'm real sorry about Dorothy, Walt.

She was a real peach.

Thanks for coming, Al.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Father. Spirit.

Uh.

Holy Spirit.

It's okay, I can move down.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch.

Look at the way the old man
glared at Ashley.

Can't even tone it down
for Mom's funeral.

What do you expect?
Dad's still living in the '50s.

He expects his granddaughter
to dress a little more modestly.

Well, your kid's wearing a Lions jersey.
I'm sure Dad appreciates that.

The point is that there's nothing anyone
can do that won't disappoint the old man.

It's inevitable.

You know, that's why we stopped
doing Thanksgivings.

You know, that deal with the boat motor,
the broken birdbath. It's always something.

What are we gonna do with him?

Don't you think he's gonna get in trouble,
all by himself in the old neighborhood?

Well, why don't you have him
move in with you?

Ha, ha, ha.

Hey. Shh.

Death is often a bittersweet occasion
to us Catholics.

Bitter in the pain, sweet in the salvation.

Bitter in the pain it causes the deceased
and their families.

Sweet to those of us
who know the salvation that awaits.

And some may ask, "What is death?

Is it the end?

Or is it the beginning?

And what is life?
What is this thing we call life?"

-All these questions can frustrate you.
Ashley, stop it.

That's why you have to turn to the Lord.

Jesus.

Because the Lord is the sweetness....

- This is so good.
- Did you have a chance to call Martha?

- Is that Dad?
- No. That's Grandpa Walt.

"Third platoon, E company,
March 2nd, 1 952, Korea"?

Where's Korea?

A lot of people showed up
after the service.

Well, I suppose they heard
there's gonna be a lot of ham.

I'll go down in the basement
and get some chairs.

-Oh, I can do that, Dad.
-No, I need them now, not next week.

Cool, I found a medal. Look at this.

How much longer do we have to stay?

This ghetto is a dead zone for my cell,
and I'm bored.

Ashley, why don't you go
help Grandpa Walt with the chairs?

-Me?
-Yes, you. Go. Go help him.

Grandpa Walt,
would you like some help with this?

With your chairs?

No. You probably just painted your nails.

Honey, come here.
Okay, well, your dad is driving me crazy.

-Why did you make me do that?
It's okay. We're leaving soon.

Hey, girl. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come with me.

How many swamp rats can you get
in one room?

Wow. Grandpa, when did you
get the vintage car?

1 972.

I never knew you had a cool old car.

Yeah. Well, it's been here
since before you were born.

So...

...what are you gonna do with it
when you, like, die?

What about that super-cool
retro couch you have in the den?

Because I'm going to state next year...

...and it would look really good in my room,
and I don't have any furniture at all.

Oh, God.

-Who are you? What do you want?
-Hi.

-I live--
-Get the shit out of your mouth.

-Tell me what you want.
-Do you have jumper cables?

-My uncle's car is old and--
-We don't have any cables.

And have some respect, zipperhead.
We're in mourning here.

-How you holding up, Walt?
-Mr. Kowalski.

Huh?

Mr. Kowalski, that's my name.

Right. Mr. Kowalski.

Your wife and I became quite close
these last few months.

She asked that I watch over you
when she passed on.

I told her I watch over my flock.

But she made me promise I'd keep
an extra-sharp eye on you.

Look, I appreciate the kindness
you've shown to my wife.

Now that you've spoken your piece...

...why don't you go tend
to some of your other sheep?

Okay?

Dorothy mentioned specifically that it was
her desire for you to go to confession.

She said she couldn't remember
the last time you went.

-Is that so?
-It is.

Well, I confess that I never really
cared for church very much.

The only reason I went
was because of her.

And I confess that I have no desire...

...to confess to a boy
that's just out of the seminary.

Great to see you.

-Bye, dear.
-So long, Walt.

- Walt, can you get it started?
- Yeah, it'll be fine.

I wish I could help, Dad,
but I gotta get the kids home.

-Kids are getting restless.
-Yeah, fine. Just go.

I'll call you,
see how you're doing.

All right.

Kill you to buy American? Jesus.

Did you see the way
he looked at the truck?

It's always rice-burner this,
Jap-burner that, you know?

-Even at Mom's funeral, he can't let it go.
-He didn't say anything.

-He didn't need to.
-What do you expect?

The man worked at Ford
all those years.

-I suppose that's my goddamn fault.
-Just give it a rest, just drive, okay?

Kids, want the radio on?
Anyone wanna listen to some music? Good.

Damn barbarians.

I'm just so brokenhearted.

I want my daughter
to find another husband.

If she married again
there would be a man in the house.

What about Thao?
The man of the house is right there.

Look at him washing dishes.

He does whatever his sister
orders him to do.

How could he ever become the man
of the house?

Be patient, once he's older,
he will be the man of the house.

No way.

Today is a blessed day, for a child is born.

I offer food to nurture this child's body.

I offer clothing
to protect this child's flesh.

The child is blessed with a mother
and father.

Oh, spirit of this child...

...return home
and do not wander anymore.

Come home, spirit and soul, come home.

Live a good life and grow old.

Jesus. Polarski would roll over in his grave
if he could see his lawn now.

What the hell did Chinks have to
move into this neighborhood for?

Why does that old white man stay here?

All the Americans have moved out
of this neighborhood.

Why haven't you gone?

Why don't you strut away,
you dumb rooster?

Are you gone completely deaf
or something?

Hi there, Walt.

I'm not a friend of yours,
so why do you insist on calling me Walt?

Sorry. Mr. Kowalski.

-What are you peddling today, Padre?
-Nothing. I thought I'd drop by and see you.

I haven't seen you in church.

Now that you've done your good deed,
why don't you take off down the road?

-I'd really like to talk, Mr. Kowalski.
-Not in this lifetime, sonny.

Why? Do you have a problem with me,
Mr. Kowalski?

-You don't wanna know.
-No, I do.

Well, I think you're an over-educated
27-year-old virgin...

...who likes to hold hands of ladies who are
superstitious and promises them eternity.

Yo! Hey!

Is you--? Is you a boy or is you a girl, man?
I can't tell.

Hey, chinito, hey,
if you was in the pen...

...I'd be fucking you in the ass.
You'd be my bitch.

What are you reading,
Jackass and the Rice Stalk?

Yeah, that's right, keep walking!
Keep walking!

Look at me when I talk to you, homes!

Fucking slopes, man,
everywhere you look, man.

- Slopes everywhere we go, man.
- Go back to your rice paddy.

What you looking at, man?

-That's my little cousin over there.
-You sure that's your cousin, man?

-Fuck, yeah, that's my little cousin.
-He tight with anybody?

No, he flies solo, man.
You wanna do something?

Man, let's go down there and see
what the fuck they doing over there.

I like your sandals too.

-Hey. Yo, what's up? What's up?
-Yo, what's up, motherfuckers?

They fucking with you?
Man, fuck you, homeboy!

-What you got?
Hey, we can do this right now.

-You go fucking back to your country.
-Fuck you, man.

Oh, good, more fucking rice niggers.

Aren't you supposed to cook me
some Chinese food, huh?

-How many bullets you got?
-We'll catch you on the rebound, homey.

- Thao!
- Come on, man. Get in the car, man.

Thao.

-Get with us, man.
-Get in the car.

- Fuck, man, get in the car, man.
- Thao!

Those punk-ass Mexicans
messing with you?

Dog, we just bailed your ass out, dog.
Come on, dog, get the fuck in here.

- What you doing, man?
- Get in the car, man, come on.

Chill with us, man.

Come on, man.
We just bailed your ass out, dog!

Come on.

Come on, Thao, man. You need a big coz
to take care of you, man.

Man, fuck it. Hey.

Forget it, man. Let's go, dude.
Fuck his ass.

-Tomorrow, I'll see your ass.
Why you gotta be a little girl?

Tomorrow.

Come on, man, let's go.
We got the gun, man.

- Fuck you.
- Let's get the fuck out of here.

-We've got the strap.
Let's get the fuck out of here.

-Fuck that pussy.
Pussy.

Hey, Thao.

Hey, what's up?

What's up, Thao?

What are you doing, little man?

-Why you doing women's work?
-What do you want?

What? I can't just come
and talk to my little cousin?

-He doesn't wanna talk to you.
-Well, I'm here, right?

- Hey, Spider, who that?
- What's up?

Spider? Is that what
he just called you, Fong?

Spider.

-Is there something wrong with Spider?
-What are you doing here?

Hey, so how old is you anyways?

-Mentally, I'm way too old for you.
-What?

You guys are stupid. I'm going inside.

-What?
-Sue.

Help your little bro do this gardening.

Bite it, stupid.

Hey. You wanna roll with us, man?
Come on.

-Dude.
-Come on, ride with us. Come on.

Come on, chill with us.

You need somebody to protect you.
That's what your big coz is for.

Look, dog, I been there, done it,
and I seen it, man.

Back in the day, everybody used to
wanna beat me up.

But now, nobody wanna fuck with me.

-Come on, man, let's go.
-We're coz, right?

Come on.
-We're coz, right? We're family.

Look, a brother to Spider
is a brother to me. Come on.

Dude, man, take this shit off.
Come on.

- Come on, roll with us. Come on.
- That's woman's work, man.

Don't get your hands dirty, man.

So, what do I have to do?

Spider told me that our boy next door
got a bad-ass whip.

Come on.

Nice.

Yeah, my little cousin being a little man.

Whoa.

Yo, now, that's a nice car.

Hell, yeah. 1972 Gran Torino, fastback.

-Yo.
-Cobra jet engine.

Yo, man, it's still in mint condition.

Yo, man. It's in mint condition, man.

Oh, I've got one.

There's a Mexican, a Jew,
and a colored guy go into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says,
"Get the fuck out of here."

So here's where my flock congregates
when they're not in church.

Hey, Father J.

Hi, Mel. Hey there, Darrell.

-Hello, Father.
-Hi, Walt.

What brings you in here, Father?
The meat raffle?

No, I just came down to talk to Walt,
if that's okay.

Damn, Padre, you are persistent,
aren't you?

I promised your wife.

All right. Let's get a booth.

I'll have a Pabst and a shot of Jack
and whatever he's having.

-I'll have a Diet Coke.
-Bullshit, this is a bar. You have a drink.

-Um, I'll have a gin and tonic.
Attaboy.

So...

...what do you want?

I promised your wife I'd get you
to go to confession.

Now, why would you do that?

She was very insistent. She made me.

You're kind of fond of promising things
you can't deliver on. Right, Father?

-Let's talk about something else.
-What?

Life and death.

Life and death. What the hell do you know
about life and death?

I'd like to think I know a lot. I'm a priest.

Yeah. You get up and preach about life
and death...

...but all you know is what you learned
in priest school.

Right out of the rookie
preacher's handbook.

I don't know about that. I think--

Death is bittersweet.

Sort of bitter in its pain,
but sweet in its salvation.

That's what you know about life and death,
and it's pathetic.

What do you know, Mr. Kowalski?

I know a lot. I lived for almost three years
in Korea with it.

Thanks.

We shot men...

...stabbed them with bayonets,
hacked 1 7-year-olds to death with shovels.

Stuff I'll remember till the day I die.

Horrible things, but things I'll live with.

And what about life?

Well, I survived the war.

Got married, had a family.

Sounds like you know a lot more
about death than you do living.

Maybe so, Father.

Maybe so.

Son of a bitch.

Come on, get in the car!
Thao, what the fuck? Get in!

-Get in, Thao.
-Come on, let's go. Get in.

Fuck, man? Get in!

-Hello?
-Hey. Morning, Dad.

It's your number one son, Mitch.

Morning? It's after 1 in the afternoon,
it's not morning.

Oh, right. Afternoon, then.

So, what do you want?

What? No. Nothing.
I mean, what would I want?

Well, I don't know.

Your wife's already gone through
all your mother's jewelry.

No, Dad, I'm just calling
to see how you're doing. Just....

Anything new
with the old neighborhood?

Yeah. No.

Great. Smooth sailing.

Yeah.

-Okay, good. Good, then. Oh, hey, Dad.
-Yeah.

You wouldn't happen to still know that guy
that has the Lions season tickets?

Oh, you fuck.

Dad--

Ain't she sweet.

Come on, girl.

Yo, what's up? What are you guys
doing out here, man?

- Nothing.
- Minding our own business.

Just hanging out.

What are you guys doing here?

-What?
I told you guys already--

Can't I just come hang out
with my little cousin?

Huh?

We have good news for you, man.

Oh, really? And what's that?

Only for guy talk.

-I don't think so.
-Why not?

Come on, man.
We gonna give you another shot, man.

-Don't go, Thao.
Mind your own business, girl.

-Come on, let's go.
Come.

-Yeah, what are you gonna do, huh?
Come on, dog.

Look. You've broken Daddy's gnome.

What the hell is this?

Get up.
-Get off my lawn.

Listen, old man,
you don't wanna fuck with me.

Did you hear me?
I said, get off my lawn now.

Are you fucking crazy?
Go back in the house.

Yeah. I blow a hole in your face,
and then I go in the house.

And I sleep like a baby.
You can count on that.

We used to stack fucks like you
five feet high in Korea...

...use you for sandbags.

Okay.

-But you better watch your back.
-Fuck it, man, he's crazy.

We'll get this cracker next time.

Thank you.

Get off my lawn.

What the hell is this?

Christ.

No, no. No, no, no.
Come on, no more. No more.

No more. What--?

Stay right there. Stay right there.

Why can't you just leave me alone?

We brought you some shallots
to plant.

-I don't want them.
-They're perennials.

-They come back every year.
-Why are you bringing me all this garbage?

Because....

-Because you saved Thao.
-I didn't save anybody.

I just-- I kept a bunch of jabbering gooks
off of my lawn, that's all.

-You're a hero to the neighborhood.
-I'm not a hero.

They think you are.
That's why they keep bringing you gifts.

-Please, take them.
-They're wrong.

Now, I just want to be left alone.
Thank you.

Wait.

This is my mom, Vu, I'm Sue,
and that's my brother, Thao.

-We live next door.
-So?

Thao wants to say something.

I'm sorry.

-Sorry for what?
-For trying to steal your car.

Let me tell you something, boy.

You step on this property again,
you're done.

Good afternoon, Walt.

I told you I'm not going to confession.

-Why didn't you just call the police?
-What?

I do work
with some of the Hmong gangs...

...and I heard there was trouble
in the neighborhood.

Why didn't you call the police?

Well....

You know, I prayed
that they would show up...

...but nobody answered.

What were you thinking?

Someone could have been killed.
We're talking life and death here.

When things go wrong,
you gotta act quickly.

When we were in Korea and a thousand
screaming gooks came across our line...

...we didn't call the police, we reacted.

We're not in Korea, Mr. Kowalski.

I've been thinking about our conversation
on life and death.

About what you said.

About how you carry around all the horrible
things you were forced to do...

...horrible things that won't leave you.

It seems it would do you good
to unload some of that burden.

Things done during war are terrible.

Being ordered to kill.

Killing to save yourself,
killing to save others.

You're right. Those are things
I know nothing about...

...but I do know about forgiveness...

...and I've seen a lot of men
who have confessed their sins...

...admitted their guilt,
and left their burdens behind them.

Stronger men than you.

Men at war who were ordered
to do appalling things...

...and are now at peace.

Well, I gotta hand it to you, Padre.

You came here
with your guns loaded this time.

Thank you.

And you're right about one thing.

About stronger men than me
reaching their salvation.

Well, halle-fucking-lujah.

But you're wrong about something else.

What's that, Mr. Kowalski?

The thing that haunts a man the most
is what he isn't ordered to do.

There. You finally look
like a human being again.

You shouldn't wait so long between
haircuts, you cheap son of a bitch.

Yeah. Well, I'm surprised
you're still around.

I was always hoping you'd die...

...and they'd get somebody
who knew what they were doing.

Instead you just keep hanging around
like the doo-wop dago you are.

-That'll be 10 bucks, Walt.
-Ten bucks? Jesus Christ, Martin.

What are you, half Jew or something?
You keep raising the prices.

It's been 10 bucks for the last five years,
you hard-nosed, Polack son of a bitch.

-Yeah, well, keep the change.
-See you in three weeks, prick.

Not if I see you first, dipshit.

Since everything could go downhill
after that.

-Yeah, that's true.
-That would suck.

-That's cool, you know? Yeah.
Ain't shit going on, man.

Ain't shit going on.

Man, look at this. Look at this, Monk.
Check this out.

- Oooh. Boy.
- Oh, yeah.

Bring that little tight ass over here.
Come here, girl. Don't be shy.

What, you can't say hi?
Why you acting all stuck-up and shit?

-What you supposed to be, man?
-Yo, it's cool, dog.

What the fuck you doing
in my neighborhood, boy?

Nothing. Just going down to Corner Spot,
you know? Get some CDs.

It's all good, bro.

See, he called you bro, Duke.

-He called you bro, man.
-It's all good, bro.

- It's all good, huh?
- Shut the fuck up.

Call me bro again, man,
I'll bite your motherfucking face off.

Yeah, motherfucker.

Now, what the fuck
y'all come down here for?

You here to bring me this little present?
Monk? She bringing it to us?

This little Oriental yummy.

Don't worry.
I'm gonna take real good care of her.

-Fuck out of here, man.
-Fuck out of here, man.

-I told you we're finished here.
Oh, yeah.

Keep your ass right here.

Oh, great. Another asshole
who has a fetish for Asian girls?

God, that gets so old.

Oh, shit.
-What's your name, girl?

My name?

Get your ass out of here, okay?

It's "Take your crude come-on
to every woman who walks past...

...and cram it." That's my name.

Mouthy little bitch.

-Who you think you talking to?
-Who does it look like?

-You think you real funny, don't you?
-Oh, shit. Ain't she tough?

What? You gonna hit me now? That would
pretty much complete the picture.

You need to keep your bitch on a leash.

Put a chain on that whore
and yank that motherfucker.

Of course. Right to the
stereotype thesaurus.

Call me a whore and a bitch
in the same sentence.

-This bitch is crazy.
I like them like that.

Man, take this bitch.

Hey. Get off me.

-You don't know when to quit, do you?
I'm gonna teach her a lesson.

Stop. Let go.

Get your ass over there.

What the fuck you looking at, old man?

-What the hell are you spooks up to?
-Spooks?

You better get your ass on, honky,
while I still let you.

-That's what you better do.
-That's right, bitch.

Fuck you think you at?

Ever notice how you come across somebody
once in a while...

...that you shouldn't have fucked with?

That's me.

Man, you fucking crazy, man.
Get out of here, man.

Why don't you get your ass up out of here
before I kick your old, wrinkly, white ass?

Crazy motherfucker, man.
What's wrong with him, man?

What the fuck?

-This motherfucker crazy, man.
-What's wrong with this nigga, man?

What the hell?

Get in the truck.

This crazy motherfucker, man.
What's wrong with him, man?

He put his finger at us.

-Oh, shit.
-Come on, now. Hey, pops. Come on, now.

Shut your fucking face.

You fucking don't listen, do you?

Now, get in the truck.

-Go on, get in the truck now. Shit.
Way to go, old man.

Shut up, pussy.

What is all this "bro" shit, anyway?

Want to be Super Spade or something?
These guys don't want to be your bro...

...and I don't blame them. Now, get
your ofay, Paddy ass on down the road.

Take care, now.

Yeah, you too.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck, man, why y'all
didn't fucking do nothing?

-Man, kick that nigga's ass.
-Man, you fucking--

Shit, man.

This fucker.
He had that cannon in your fucking face.

-You didn't do nothing.
-Trying to stay out.

What's the matter with you,
for chrissake?

Trying to get yourself killed?

I thought you Asian girls
were supposed to be smart.

Hanging around a neighborhood like that's
a fast way to get you in the obituaries.

I know. I know. Take it easy.

And what about that goofball guy
you were with?

Is that a date or something?

Yeah. Kind of. His name is Trey.

Well, you shouldn't be hanging out
with him.

You should be hanging out with your
own people, with other Humongs.

You mean Hmong?
We're Hmong, not "Humong."

Whatever.

Where the hell is Humong,
I mean Hmong, anyway?

Wow.

You're so enlightened, you know that?
No, Hmong isn't a place. It's a people.

Hmong people come from different parts
of Laos, Thailand, and China.

Yeah. Well, how did you end up
in my neighborhood, then?

Why didn't you stay there?

It's a Vietnam thing.
We fought on your side.

And when the Americans quit, the
Communists started killing all the Hmong.

So we came over here.

Yeah. Well, I don't know
how you ended up in the Midwest.

There's snow on the ground
six months out of the year.

Why does a jungle people want to
be in the great frozen tundra?

Hill people. We were hill people.
Not jungle people. Booga-booga-booga.

Yeah. Whatever.

Blame the Lutherans.
They brought us over here.

Everybody blames the Lutherans.

Well, you'd think the cold
would keep all the idiots out.

Thanks for the ride.

You know something, kid?
You're all right.

But what about that dimwit brother
of yours?

-He a little slow or something?
-Thao is actually really smart.

He just doesn't know
which direction to go in.

-Yeah. Poor Toad.
-It's really common.

Hmong girls over here fit in better.

The girls go to college,
and the boys go to jail.

Yeah.

That old hag hates my ass.

Well....

"Your birthday today." Daisy.

"This year, you have to make a choice
between two life paths.

Second chances come your way.

Extraordinary events culminate
in what might seem to be an anticlimax.

Your lucky numbers are 84, 23...

... 11 , 78, and 99."

What a load of shit.

Yeah.

What the hell is it with kids nowadays?

All right.

Hey, Mrs. V.
Here, let me help you with those.

Oh, thank you. I just--
I got it.

How about that?

Here you go.
-How about that, Daisy?

Yeah, I got it.

MRS. V.
That was too heavy for the bag.

No problem.
-Thank you.

-Go ahead, Karen, give it to him.
-Here you go.

-Well, what is it?
-It's a Gopher.

So you can reach stuff.
You know, it makes things a lot easier.

This is from me.

It's a phone.

-Oh, I can see that.
-I just thought--

Well, we thought
that it would make things easier.

Well, thank you, Karen.

There's nothing wrong with making things
less hard on yourself.

Karen's right, Dad. You've worked hard
your whole life.

Maybe it's time you started thinking about,
you know, taking it easier.

Jeez. That's another thing, Dad.
You really should get rid of the coffin nails.

But, I don't know, we were thinking
about the house.

You know, what with Mom gone,
it's gotta be a lot to maintain around here.

-Mm-hm.
-Let alone clean.

And, I don't know, you're here all alone.

Yeah, and there are these great places now,
you know, these communities...

...where you don't have to worry
about mowing the lawn or shoveling snow...

...where the people are like you,
active and alert, but are alone...

...and would benefit from being
around folks their own age.

Yeah, Dad, look. You gotta check it out.
We've brought some brochures.

These places are nothing like
what you'd think they'd be.

-They're great.
-No, no, beautiful.

They're really nice. They really are.
These are top-notch, like, resorts.

-It's like staying in a hotel practically.
-They're beautiful.

They really are.
-Yeah.

They take care of everything.
They'll clean up. They're really nice.

They have wonderful stores.
You can buy new shoes.

- They're amazing. They really are.
- You'd have a good time.

-Play some golf, maybe.
Meet other people.

Son of a bitch.
Kicking us out on his birthday.

-I told you this was a bad idea.
-I know. You were right.

-He won't let anybody help him.
-Well, we tried. Can we just drop it?

No one can say we didn't try.

The hell with him.
You know what we should've done?

We should've stayed home
with Josh and Ashley.

At least they were smart enough
to not come.

Goddamn kids have more sense
than we do.

We miss Mama, don't we, Daisy? Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Walt.

What are you up to?

We're having a barbecue.
You wanna come over?

-What do you think?
-There's tons of food.

Yeah. Just keep your hands off my dog.

-No worries. We only eat cats.
-Really?

No, I'm kidding, you moron.
Come on, you can be my special guest.

No, I'm fine right here.

Yeah.

-Son of a bitch.
-Okay, so, what have you had to eat today?

Oh, I had a piece of cake
and a little beef jerky.

Come on over and get something to eat.
We've got beer too.

Well, I might as well drink with strangers
rather than drink alone.

After all, it is my birthday.

-Really? Happy birthday, Wally.
-Don't call me Wally.

Well, no Pabst, but plenty of beer.

-As they say, when in Humong.
-Ha, ha. Hey, what am I doing wrong?

Every time I look at somebody,
they look at the ground.

You're fine.

What's she saying?
-She said welcome to her home.

-Oh, no, she's not.
-Yeah, no, she didn't.

-She hates me. Come on.
-Yeah, she hates you.

Okay. Hey.

Hey, what are all you fish heads
looking at anyway?

I think we should go
into the other room. Sorry.

A lot of people in this house
are very traditional.

Number one, never touch a Hmong person
on their head, not even a child.

Hmong people believe that the soul
resides on the head, so don't do that.

Well, sounds dumb, but fine.

Yeah, and a lot of Hmong people consider
looking someone in the eye to be very rude.

That's why they look away
when you look at them.

-Anything else?
-Yeah.

Some Hmong people tend to smile or grin
when they're yelled at.

It's a cultural thing.
It expresses embarrassment or insecurity.

It's not that they're laughing
at you or anything.

Yeah. God, you people are nuts.

But the food does look good.
Smells good too.

Well, of course. It's Hmong food.

Yeah. Okay.
Can I come back for seconds?

-Here you go.
-Thanks.

You know, you mentioned
about looking at people.

-He's been staring at me the whole evening.
-That's Kor Khue.

He's the Lor family shaman.

And what's that, some sort
of a witch doctor or something?

-Something like that.
-Yeah. Booga-booga.

Ha, ha. Very funny, Wally.

Kor Khue's interested in you.
He heard what you did.

He would like to read you.
It'd be rude not to allow him this.

It's a great honor.

-Yeah, sure, fine by me. Sure.
-All right. Take a seat.

Here?

He says that people do not respect you.
They don't even wanna look at you.

He says the way you live,
your food has no flavor.

You're worried about your life.

You made a mistake in your past life,
like a mistake that you did...

...you're not satisfied with.

He says you have no happiness in your life.
It's like you're not at peace.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm.... Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine. I'm fine.

God, I've got more in common
with these gooks...

...than I do my own spoilt rotten family.

Jesus Christ.

Happy birthday.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

You were bleeding.

No, I bit my tongue. It's nothing.

Why don't we go
and get some of that good gook food?

-You know, I'm starving.
-Okay.

Fantastic. Well, you ladies are wonderful.

This stuff is really good.

Come on, you glutton.

-What's up?
-Let's go.

-What for?
To mingle.

Mingle? We're mingling right here.

Come on. You told me
not to leave you alone.

Thank you very much, but I have
to go now. I have to go now.

I'll be back.
Now, don't let anything go away.

Oh, great.

Well, well, well. Look who's over there.

-Yeah, the kid who stole my Gran Torino.
-My brother, Thao.

Tried to, anyway. Yeah. Yeah, Toad.

It was a little wobbly,
but that should fix it.

So where are you guys from?

-I'm not far from here.
-I'm from Texas.

-What's this?
-A little rice liquor. Here, try it.

All right.

My friends and I were just wondering
what you're doing here.

Well, that's a good question.
What am I doing here?

-Name's Walt.
-Hi, Walt. I'm Youa.

-Yuam. A pleasure.
-No. Youa.

Youa, okay.

So, what do you do?

-Oh, I fix things, stuff like that.
-Like what?

Well, I just fixed that dryer there,
I fixed my wife's friend's sink...

...and I took old Aunt Mary to the doctor's
to get her prescription fixed up.

And then I even fixed a door
that hadn't even broken yet.

You're funny.

I've been called a lot of things,
but never funny.

-Well, I'm gonna take off. Enjoy yourself.
-Okay. Yum Yum. Pleasure.

Look, she's going, man. Come on.

Youa, wait up.

Relax, zipperhead.
I'm not gonna shoot you.

I'd look down too, if I was you.

I knew you were a dipshit
the first time I ever saw you...

...but I never thought you were worse
with women...

...than you are at stealing cars, Toad.

-It's Thao.
-What?

It's not Toad, it's Thao.
My name is Thao.

Yeah, well, you're blowing it with that girl
who was there.

Not that I give two shits
about a toad like you.

-You don't know what you're talking about.
-You're wrong.

I know exactly what I'm talking about.

I may not be the most pleasant person
to be around...

...but I got the best woman
that was ever on this planet to marry me.

I worked at it. It was the best thing
that ever happened to me.

But you, you know, you're letting
Click Clack, Ding Dong, and Charlie Chan...

...just walk out
with Miss What's-Her-Face.

She likes you, you know?
Though I don't know why.

Who?

Yum Yum. You know, the girl
in the purple sweater.

She's been looking at you all day, stupid.

You mean Youa.

Yeah, Yum Yum, yeah. Nice girl. Nice girl.
A very charming girl.

I talked with her. Yeah.

But you, you let her just walk right out
with the Three Stooges.

And you know why?
Because you're a big, fat pussy.

Well...

...I gotta go.

Good day, puss-cake.

No. No more.

Well, okay, put them over there.

Bye-bye.

No, no. No, no more. No more.
Come on. No more, now.

No more, please. I--

Is this that chicken-dumpling thing
you brought the other--?

Oh, all right.

Come on, ladies.

Certainly better than beef jerky,
I'll tell you.

What's going on?

Thao is here to make amends.
He's here to work for you.

No, he isn't.
He's not gonna work for me.

My mom said he dishonored the family
and now he has to work off his debt.

-He'll start tomorrow morning.
-Not tomorrow, not any time.

I don't even want him on my property.
I thought we went over all that.

It's very important that you accept,
and it would be an insult if you refuse.

Why is this being put back on me?

He's the one who tried to steal my car.

All of a sudden, I'm the bad guy in this.

Look, my family is very traditional...

...and would be very much upset
if you don't let Thao repay.

If he doesn't wanna do it,
then let's just go.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Yeah. Shut up.

All right. Tomorrow, come on.

Tomorrow. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Jesus, Joseph, and Mary,
these Hmong broads are like badgers.

Son of a bitch,
I never thought he'd show.

All right. What are you good at?

Like what?

Well, that's what I'm asking.

If you're gonna work for me,
I gotta know what you're good at.

I gotta know what you can do.

I don't know.

Well, that's kind of halfway
what I expected you to say.

You see that tree right there?

You just go over there
and count the birds.

You want me to count the birds?

Yeah, you can count. All you slopes
are supposed to be good at math, right?

-Yeah, I can count.
-Good.

One, two....

So, what do you have for me today?
You want me to watch paint dry?

-Maybe even count the clouds that pass by?
-Don't get flip with me, boy.

I'm not the one who tried to steal.
Don't you forget that.

Go ahead. I don't care if you insult me
or say racist things.

Because you know what? I'll take it.

Yeah, course you'll take it, because you
have no teeth, you have no balls, kid.

Look, I'm stuck here...

...so why don't you just find something
useful for me to do?

Because unlike you, I'm not useless,
and I maintain my own property.

You swamp rats, on the other hand,
you just can't help but....

How long do I have you for?

-Toad? How long?
-Till next Friday.

Yeah.

All right. Go get the ladder
out of the garage.

When you get finished with that roof there,
you can take that gutter and nail it back up.

I'm tired of looking at it
the last three years.

Yeah.

Yeah, you said it, brother.

Hello.

Grandpa says he wants to know...

...if you can have Thao clear out
the big wasp nest under our porch.

Wasp nest?

Well, that's terrible.

Yeah, well, I think we can handle that
after lunch.

Jesus, Lord Almighty, knock it off.

Hey, it's my last day.
So, what else do you have for me to do?

Take the day off. You've done enough.

Toad.

Nothing, never mind.

The doctor will see you now. Thank you.

Koski?

Mr. Kowalski? Good morning.
I looked over your paperwork...

...and I think we should immediately
start a full battery of tests.

I feel that this would be the best
way to go about...

-...checking out the issues that you've had--
-Excuse me.

What happened to Dr. Feldman,
my regular doctor?

Dr. Feldman retired three years ago.
I'm his replacement, Dr. Chu.

-It's Grandpa Walt.
-Pick it up.

-You talk to him.
-Mitch.

-I'm doing bills here.
You talk to him. He's your father.

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Mitch, it's-- It's me, your dad.

Yeah, I know. What's up?

Oh, nothing. Nothing much, really.

-How's everything going?
-I'm fine. Fine. Doing fine.

Fine. Good.
How about Karen and the kids?

Fine, everybody's great. Doing fine.

-Good. How about work?
-Busy.

- Yeah.
-Yeah, I suppose.

In fact, speaking of busy,
I got a lot on my plate right now...

...so if there's not something pressing....

No. No, not at all.

So why don't you call me this weekend?

Sure.

Okay. It was nice talking to you, Dad.
Thanks for calling.

Thanks. Yeah.

This kid doesn't have a chance.

-What do you know about faucets?
-I know a lot about them, boy.

Stand aside.

-Jesus. For the love of Pete.
-What?

It must be a hundred degrees in here.
Why don't you turn on the fan?

The place is falling apart.

Man, where'd you get all this stuff?

-What are you talking about?
-All the tools and stuff.

Well, it may come as a surprise
to a thief...

...but I bought this stuff, everything in here,
with my own money.

Yeah, yeah. That's not what I meant.

I mean, there's just so much shit
packed in here.

Yeah. Well, every tool in here
has a purpose.

Everything has a job to do.

They're all to use if necessary.

Okay, so, what's that?

-That's a post-hole digger.
-That?

Vise grips.

-That?
-Wire cutters.

You know it's a trowel, come on.

Those are shears there,
and that's a saw.

That's a tack hammer.
You can't fool me, kid.

All right, what's on your mind?

It's just, I can't afford
to buy all this stuff.

Well, I guess even a bonehead
like you could understand...

...that a man acquires this
over a period of 50 years.

-Yeah, but....
-All right, look, here.

Take these three items, right here.
You can have this.

WD-40, vise grips and some duct tape.

Any man worth his salt
can do half of the household chores...

...with just those three things.

Anything else you need,
you just borrow it, that's all.

Okay. Cool.

-Fuck me.
-What's with that?

Nothing. What?

Nothing, huh?
I just saw you coughed up blood.

That's not good.
You should really see a doctor.

Yeah.

Look...

...those guys who were here
the other night, on my lawn.

What about them?

Just a gang, a bunch
of Hmong gangbangers.

Yeah, I assumed that,
but what were they doing here?

They were gonna take me away.

They were kind of pissed
that I blew my first initiation.

Yeah. Well, you are a pussy, you know,
you wanna hang out with guys like that.

What was your initiation supposed to be?

My Gran Torino?

Christ all Friday.

Shit.

Toad, you got a minute?

All right. Okay.

Here it is.

Here's the deal. I take the top
because that's the heaviest.

I pull on that,
and you stand right back here...

...and you push
and help me push it up each step.

-Just like that.
-Then let me take the top.

No, no, I've got the top.

Really, I'll take the top.
It looks heavy.

Look, I'm not crippled. I've got the top.

If you don't let me take the top,
I ain't helping.

-Now, listen to me, zipperhead--
-No, you listen, old man.

I'm here because you needed help.
So it's either top or I'm out of here.

All right. You take the top, and I'll push.

Just don't let it slip out of your
little-girl hands and crush me.

Don't give me any ideas, now.

-That thing weighs a ton.
-Yeah.

It runs like a clock, though. They just
don't make them like this anymore.

So, what are you gonna do with it?

Sell it, I guess.

How much?

60 bucks. They....

I'm tired of having it sit around
down in the basement there.

Why? You looking for a freezer?

The downstairs one kind of died.

Okay. 25 bucks and it's yours.

Twenty-five? But you just said 60.

I know, but this'll save me money
putting an ad in the paper.

-Come on, let's wheel it over to your place.
-All right. Okay.

-Kind of ironic, huh?
What?

Toad washing the car
that he tried to steal from you.

Yeah. He misses one spot,
he's doing it all over again too.

It's nice of you to
look after him like this.

He doesn't have any real role models
in his life.

Well, I'm not any role model.

But you're a good man, Wally.

I wish our father
would've been more like you.

-Don't go calling me Wally.
-No, I'm serious.

He was really hard on us, really traditional,
and really old-school.

-Yeah, well, I'm old-school.
-Yeah, but you're an American.

What's that supposed to mean?

You like him, don't you?

Are you kidding? He tried to steal my car.

Uh-huh. And you spend time with him...

...teach him how to fix things,
saved him from that fucked cousin of ours.

-Hey. Watch your language, lady.
-And you're a good man.

I'm not a good man.

Get me another beer, dragon lady.
This one's empty.

You know, the Hmong consider gardening
to be women's work.

Yeah. That's probably why I see you
in the garden over there all the time.

Besides, we ain't in Humong.

Funny.

You know, you should quit.
That's bad for you.

Yeah? So is being in a gang, dipshit.

Didn't you hear what I just said?
I saw you cough up blood.

You should quit.

So, what's that emblem supposed
to mean anyway?

Is it your ancient Cub Scout emblem?

First Cavalry. I've had it since '51 .

So, what do you want to do
with your life, kid?

Well, I was thinking about maybe sales.

Sales, huh?

My oldest son is in sales.

-Does he do well?
-Oh, yeah. License to steal.

I work in the Ford factory for 50 years,
and he's out selling Japanese cars.

-You made cars?
-Yeah.

I put the steering column
in this Gran Torino...

...in 1 972, right on the line.

Oh, you are old. So cool.

Yeah. So you wanna be in sales.
You thinking about going to school maybe?

-Kind of, but school costs money.
-Well, maybe you should get a job.

You can't just sit there and spread mulch
in my garden the rest of your life.

-Well, maybe you could just pay me.
-Yeah. Very funny.

Well, what kind of job could I ever get?

Yeah. You're right.
Nobody would ever hire you.

Yeah, I know.

Look, I'm just kidding, zip.
I mean, you could get a job.

-You could get a job anywhere.
-Like what?

-Well, how about construction?
-Me?

-Yeah.
-Construction?

-You have Alzheimer's or something?
-No. You could get a job in construction.

I know people in the trades.

Course, I have to make a little adjustment
and man you up a little bit.

-Man me up?
-Yeah.

And I think you ought to
date Miss Yum Yum too.

Do you a little good.

You know, get a little carbon
off the valves.

Now you're just gonna learn
how guys talk.

You just listen to the way Martin
and I batter it back and forth.

-You okay? You ready?
-Sure.

All right. Let's go in.

Perfect.

A Polack and a chink.

How you doing, Martin,
you crazy Italian prick?

You cheap bastard, I should've known you'd
come in. I was having such a pleasant day.

What'd you do, Jew some poor blind guy
out of his money?

-Gave him the wrong change?
-Who's the Nip?

Oh, he's a pussy kid from next door.
I'm just trying to man him up a little bit.

Mm.

You see, kid? Now, that's how guys
talk to one another.

-They do?
-What, you got shit in your ears?

Now go on out and come back in,
and talk to him like a man.

Like a real man.

-Come on, Walt.
-Come on. Get your ass out of here.

And come on back now.

-Sorry about this.
-It's okay.

What's up, you old Italian prick?

Get out of my shop before
I blow your head off...

-...you goddamn dick-smoking gook!
-Jesus Christ. Oh, shit.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

What the hell are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?

But that's what you said.
That what you said men say.

You don't just come in
and insult the man in his shop.

You don't do that. What happens if you
meet some stranger and get the wrong one?

-He's gonna blow your gook head right off.
-What should I have said, then?

Yeah, kid, why don't you start
with "Hi" or "Hello"?

"Sir, I'd like a haircut,
if you have time."

Yeah, be polite, but don't kiss ass.

You could talk about
a construction job you just came from...

...and bitch about your girlfriend
and your car.

Son of a bitch, I just got my brakes fixed,
and those sons of bitches really nailed me.

-I mean, they screwed me right in the ass.
Don't swear at the guy.

Just talk about people
who are not in the room.

You could bitch about your boss making you
work overtime when it's bowling night.

Right. Or my old lady bitches
for two goddamn hours...

...about how they don't take
expired coupons at the grocery store...

...and the minute I turn on the game,
she starts crying how we never talk.

You see? Now go out, come back
and talk to him.

And it ain't rocket science, for chrissake.

Yeah, but I don't have a job, a car
or a girlfriend.

Jesus. I should've blown his head off
when I had the chance.

Yeah. Maybe so.

Now, okay, I want you to turn around
and go outside...

...and come back, and don't talk
about having no job...

...no car, no girlfriend,
no future, no dick.

Okay? Just turn around and go.

Excuse me, sir. I need a haircut,
if you ain't too busy.

You old Italian son-of-a-bitch
prick barber.

Boy, does my ass hurt from all the guys
at my construction job.

Fuck me.

Jesus Christ.

-All set to go through with it, right?
-Yeah, yeah.

Don't "Yeah, yeah" me. Just say, "Yes, sir,"
and, "I'll do my best."

Yes. I'll do my best.

Because when I vouch for somebody,
that means I've given my word.

-And I don't want you making me look bad.
-No, I'm good. Totally into this.

Don't lay down, either.
Just look them straight in the eye.

And a man can tell a lot
by your handshake.

-Here. Put those in your back pocket.
-Cool.

Don't blow this.

Hey, Kennedy, you drunken Irish goon.
How the hell are you?

-I'm shitty, but who's gonna listen?
Not me, that's for sure.

Help yourself, there, Walt.
You dumb Polack.

Okay, this is the kid
I was telling you about.

Thao, this is Tim Kennedy.
He's the super on this job.

So, what do we got here, Walt?

Well, he knows construction,
and he's a smart kid.

He'll do anything you need him for.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

-You speak English?
-Yes, sir.

-Were you born here?
-You bet.

I see that Walt drove you here.
You got a vehicle?

Not at the moment.
Taking the bus for now.

The bus. Jesus Christ,
you don't have a car?

My head gasket cracked.

And the goddamn prick at the shop
wants to bend me over for 2 100.

Oh, please.

I replaced the tranny in my Tahoe,
and the sons of bitches fucked me hard.

-Just under 3200.
-Goddamn thieves. It ain't right.

You got that right.

Okay, come on in on Monday,
and we'll find something for you to do.

-Thanks, Mr. Kennedy.
-It's Tim. And what's your name again?

-Thao.
-"Tuh," okay.

You owe me one, Walt.

Yeah. Well, I'll buy you a fruitcake
for Christmas.

Fuck the fruitcake. How about you just
hand over them keys to that Gran Torino?

-Why the hell does everybody want my car?
-Well, I'm not surprised.

Yeah, you don't know the half of it.
All right, come on, zipperhead.

We'll let the mick stay here
and play with himself.

What are we doing?

What do you wanna do?
Carry your tools in a rice bag?

Here we are. You can use one of these.

And you'll need one of these. Here.

- I can't afford any of this.
- I'll cover it.

You can pay me back
on your first paycheck.

Cool.
-Here. You'll need something like that.

Now, this is what I'm looking for.
Here, tool belt.

-There you go.
-Not to bitch...

...but won't I be needing some tools?

Tools I've got, but I'm not gonna lend my
tool belt. You can pick up tools as you go.

-I really appreciate all this.
-Forget it.

No. I really do. Thank you.

What's up, homeboy? What you doing?

- What up, man?
- What you got, punk?

-Just checking up on my little cousin.
Yeah, man.

-Our little cousin. What's this?
Where you coming from, man?

I'm coming home from work.

Not that you guys would know
much about that.

So it's true. You got a job.

You can't just leave me alone?
-What?

Hey, dog, check this out.

You scared, huh?

Who bought this shit for you? Your dad?

-What do you want?
-Your dad bought this?

- Keep your hands off my stuff.
- Give me the fucking hat.

-Why the fuck you gotta make me look bad?
Keep your hands off my stuff!

Smashing's my job, man.

-Yo, give me that.
Hey, come on. That's my stuff.

Throw it over the fence, man, fuck it.

- Let me go. Let me go.
- Hey, you little bitch.

Give me that, man. Give me that.

-What's the phrase I'm looking for?
Fuck him up.

Oh, yeah. Saving face.

-Hey there.
-Hey. I gotta run.

Haven't seen you in a few days.
Where you been?

-Been busy.
-Yeah.

Busy, huh?

Hey.

-What the hell happened to you?
-Don't worry about it.

What do you mean, don't worry about it?
Look at your face.

I said, don't worry about it.
Okay? It's not your problem.

When?

Grabbed me a couple days ago,
right after I got off work.

Cowards.

I did everything I could possibly do,
but they broke some of your tools.

-I'll replace them.
-Don't worry about the tools.

Where does your cousin live?

No, Walt. I'll be okay.

-I don't want you to do anything.
-All right.

If you need any extra tools,
you just let me know.

Well, I could use a roofing hammer.

Good. Go in my garage and get it.

That should be the last of them.

Hey.

All right. Here's the deal.
You stay away from Thao, understand?

You tell your friends
to stay away from Thao.

If they don't listen, tell them
you don't wanna see them anymore.

That's it. Got it?

I'll take that as a yes.
If I have to come back here...

...it's gonna get fucking ugly.

Get out of my way.

How do you want your dog?
I mean, steak?

Funny.
-I told you, we only eat cats.

Yeah. Well.

Whoa. I've never
seen you like this before.

I'm feeling good. You know,
I got beautiful women, great food.

And Thao.
-And even Thao isn't bugging me.

-Having a good time, I see.
-Yeah.

And it never ends.
-What happened to your knuckles anyways?

I slipped in the shower. No big problem.

Look, now, Yum Yum,
if he doesn't ask you out...

...I'm gonna ask you out.

Youa, don't listen to him, Youa.
He's a white devil.

Yeah, I am. I'm the white devil.

I'd love to, Walt, but he beat you to it.

Really? No kidding.
Dinner and a movie or what?

Yeah. They're taking the bus.

No, you can't take the bus.

We gotta get you something
more stylish than that.

Like what? Take a limo?

How about that?

-The Gran Torino?
-Yeah.

-You'd let me take the Gran Torino?
-Yeah, I'd let you take the Gran Torino.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Yeah. Yeah.

Here's the pitch. And a strike.

Is everybody all right?

You're all right. You're okay.
You've got a cut.

It's all right, it's all right, it's all right.
Where's grandma?

Where is Sue? Where is Sue?

-She went to our aunt's.
-Your aunt's? You sure?

-Yeah.
-Get on the phone and call right now.

I knew this was gonna happen.

Tried to-- What the hell am I doing here?

Well, maybe some of her friends called
and they changed plans.

Yeah.

In the war, we just lost a lot of friends,
but you're kind of set for it.

You're geared to it.

No, no, no.

You fuck! You rotten fuck!

Mr. Kowalski?

-You okay?
-Yeah. I'm okay.

The police finally left.

No one's talking.

One thing about the Hmong,
they keep their mouths shut.

Yeah, I've noticed that.

You know, Thao and Sue are never
gonna find peace in this world...

...as long as that gang's around.

Until they go away, you know, forever.

What are you saying?

You know what I'm saying.

I took Sue to the hospital.

She's scared. They're all scared.

Yeah.

Thao, especially.

He's sitting out there right now,
staring at your front door.

You know what he expects,
Mr. Kowalski.

What would you do?

-What should Thao do?
-I know what I would do if I was you.

-Or at least what you think you should do.
-Really?

If I was Thao,
I guess I'd want vengeance.

I'd wanna stand shoulder to shoulder
with you and kill those guys.

And you?

What would I do?

I'd come over here and talk to you,
I guess.

I know you're close with these people,
but this pisses me off too, Mr. Kowalski.

Want a beer?

I'd love one.

There's some in the chest
right over there behind you.

Damn all this.

-Just isn't fair.
-Nothing's fair, Father.

So, what are you gonna do,
Mr. Kowalski?

Call me Walt.

All right.

What are you gonna do, Walt?

I don't know...

...but I'll think of something.

Whatever it is,
they won't have a chance.

What are you doing?

-Thinking.
-Thinking? Thinking time is over.

Now it's time to knock the shit
out of those pricks.

I know you don't wanna hear this,
but now's the time to stay calm.

Calm? You want me to be calm?

We stay calm or else mistakes get made.
We have to step back from this thing.

No. Don't let me down, Walt. Not you.

This is gonna end today.

Sit down.

-I don't wanna sit.
-I said, sit down.

Now, listen to me. We gotta plan this,
and plan it very carefully.

We can't make any mistakes.

Now, you know I'm the right man
for this job.

So I want you to go home
and stay calm...

...and come back here
at 4 this afternoon.

-And what needs to be done will be done.
-I say we go now. Right now.

And what? Kill that cousin of yours
and the rest of those zips?

Mr. Tough Guy out for blood
all of a sudden?

You know nothing about it.

Now go home and you stay calm.

Come back here at 4. All right?

Okay?

Okay.

Yeah. I know, I know.
Give me a break, will you?

It's the first time I've ever smoked
in the house.

Let a man enjoy himself, would you, girl?

All finished. Ten dollars American.

I don't suppose your Guinea hands
are steady enough to do a straight shave?

Straight shave? You've never asked
for a straight shave.

I know, but I've always wondered about it.
That's unless you're too busy.

-No, just let me heat up a towel.
-Yeah. And here, here's a 20.

Keep the change. That's just in case
you hit my jugular.

It's gonna take about one hour.

We gonna shorten the sleeves a little bit.

Gonna fix the shoulder.

-Yeah. I never had a fitted suit before.
-Yes, sir.

-Mm-hm.
-You look very good.

-What can I do for you, Mr. Kowalski?
-I'm here for a confession.

Oh, Lord Jesus. What have you done?

-Nothing. You just take it easy, now.
-What are you up to?

Are you gonna give me a confession
or not?

How long has it been
since your last confession?

Oh, forever.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

What are your sins, my son?

Well, in 1 968, I kissed Betty Jablonski...

...at the factory Christmas party.

Dorothy was in the other room
with the other wives.

It just happened.

Yes, go on.

Well, I made a 900-dollar profit
selling a boat and a motor.

I didn't pay the taxes.
It's the same as stealing.

Yes, fine.

Oh, lastly...

...I was never very close
with my two sons.

I don't know them. I didn't know how.

That's it?

That's it? It's bothered me
most of my life.

Say 10 "Hail Marys"
and five "Our Fathers."

God loves you and forgives you,
and I absolve you of all your sins.

In the name of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit.

Thank you, Padre.

Are you going to retaliate
for what happened to Sue?

I'm going over to that house today,
Mr. Kowalski.

Is that so?

It is. And every other day until you see
the folly in what you're planning.

-Busy day. Gotta go.
-Go in peace.

Oh, I am at peace.

Jesus Christ.

So which one's mine?

You ever fired a weapon before?

No.

Well, why don't you put that one down?

And I got something I wanna show you.
Come on.

What?

1 952, we were sent up to take out
a chink machine-gun nest.

Been shredding us up pretty good.

I was the only one
that came back that day.

For that, they gave me a Silver Star.
Here it is.

Here. I want you to have it.

Why?

Why? Because we all knew the dangers
that night, but we went anyway.

That's the way it might be tonight.

There's always a chance
you don't come back.

The hell we won't. We're gonna roll up
in there and tear some ass.

That's foolish. That's the exact reaction
they're waiting for.

Go ahead and close this up.

-How many?
-How many what?

How many men did you kill in Korea?

-Thirteen. Maybe more.
-What was it like to kill a man?

You don't wanna know.

Now close it up.

Walt. Walt. What are you doing?

-What are you doing?
-Relax. You can't get out of there.

You let me out right now.
Let me out.

-Fucking let me out or I'll fucking kill you.
-Shut the fuck up.

You wanna know what it's like
to kill a man?

Well, it's goddamn awful,
that's what it is.

The only thing worse
is getting a medal...

...for killing some poor kid
that wanted to just give up, that's all.

Yeah, some scared little gook
just like you.

I shot him in the face with that rifle
you were holding in there a while ago.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about it,
and you don't want that on your soul.

Now, I got blood on my hands.
I'm soiled.

That's why I'm going it alone tonight.

Walt. You take me with you right now.
Let me out!

Look, you've come a long way.
I'm proud to say that you're my friend...

...but you got your whole life ahead of you.
But me, I finish things.

That's what I do. And I'm going it alone.

No. Wait! Walt! Walt!

Walt! Walt! Walt!

Look, I need you to watch my dog.

Yeah, I love you too.

Yeah, she's old too.

Bye-bye, sweetheart. Take it easy.
Her name is Daisy.

-Hello?
It's Walt.

The keys to my house are under
the ceramic turtle on the porch.

Let yourself in. Your brother's
in the basement. I gotta go.

Sorry, Father, we have to go.

I'm telling you, if we're not here,
there will be bloodshed.

We've been here for hours.

We can't afford to anchor a unit
to one location.

I'm begging you to stay.

Just got word from my sergeant.
We're pulling the plug.

-I'm staying.
-No, you aren't.

We have specific orders. You came with us,
you're leaving with us.

Watch your head.

Sue. Over here. Over here.

-Come unlock this.
What's going on?

He left without me.
He went to Smokie's without me.

Thao!

What the fuck, man?

Any swamp rats in there?

-I didn't think your ass would've came.
-Shut up, gook.

I got nothing to say to you,
shrimp-dick midget like you.

Yeah, yeah. You go ahead,
watch out for your boyfriend.

Because it was either he or you or someone
who raped one of their own family.

Your own blood, for chrissake.

Now, go ahead and pull those pistols
like miniature cowboys.

-Go ahead.
-So where's Thao at?

-That pussy motherfucker couldn't come?
-Don't worry about Thao.

Thao's got not one second for you.

Says who? You?

What the fuck you gonna do, old man?

What you gonna do...

-...punk ass old man?
Bitch.

-Kind of jumpy, aren't we?
-Shut the fuck up.

You shut the fuck up.

-Got a light?
What the fuck?

No.

Me. I've got a light.

Hail Mary, full of grace.

-Yes, Sergeant.
What happened?

-You need to step back.
-He's a friend of mine.

I said, step back.

Hey, did you hear him? Step back.

-What happened?
-Hey, step back.

He's my friend.

Please, it's important.

He went for his lighter and they shot him.

He didn't even have a gun on him.

This time we have witnesses.

These guys will be locked up
for a long time.

Officer Chang! Get those people back.

You have to step back now, okay?

Get them the fuck out of here.
Get them out of here.

Walt Kowalski once said to me that I
didn't know anything about life or death...

...because I was an over-educated,
27-year-old virgin...

...who held the hands of superstitious old
women and promised them eternity.

Walt definitely had no problem
calling it like he saw it...

...but he was right.

I knew really nothing about life or death
until I got to know Walt.

And, boy, did I learn.

"And I wanna leave my house to the church
because Dorothy would've liked it."

Now, which brings us to our last item,
and again...

...please excuse the language
in Mr. Kowalski's will.

I'm simply reading it
the way it was written.

"And I'd like to leave
my 1 972 Gran Torino...

...to my friend...

...Thao Vang Lor...

...on the condition that you don't chop-top
the roof like one of those beaners...

...don't paint any idiotic flames on it
like some white-trash hillbilly...

...and don't put a big, gay spoiler
on the rear end...

...like you see
on all the other zipperheads' cars.

It just looks like hell.

If you can refrain from doing any of that,
it's yours."