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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,388 -Hey, Stuart. -Bert. 2 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,265 Got anything new? 3 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,850 Funny every time. 4 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,730 I think I'm ready to pull the trigger on Batman 608. 5 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,442 Excellent choice. 6 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,194 What's the trade? 7 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:12,823 What would you say to a can of lima beans? 8 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,118 Oh, geez, Bert, come on! This is near mint. 9 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,745 I could probably get a couple Dinty Moore Beef Stews for this. 10 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,080 Plus... 11 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,332 cream corn. 12 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:26,962 Okay. I was saving it for my birthday, but I guess I'll throw it in. 13 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,590 Fancy Feast. 14 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,341 What flavor? 15 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,009 -Salmon. -Sold. 16 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,178 -Yay! -Are you crazy? 17 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,598 Hawkeye doesn't deserve to be an Avenger. 18 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,808 Yeah-- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You do not want to go there. 19 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:43,312 You got a guy with a bow and arrow, and he's supposed to be on the same team 20 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:47,774 as a guy with an Arc Reactor iron suit and the literal God of Thunder? 21 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,109 What sense does that even make? 22 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,070 I don't know, I mean... Does this make sense? 23 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,911 I just mopped! We talked about this, Kyle! 24 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,624 -That's strike three! -I'm sorry, okay? But you heard him. 25 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,419 Sorry. He started it. 26 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,378 Unbelievable. 27 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,632 -Give me a hand. -Oh, yeah. 28 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,551 You know, I feel the same way about Green Arrow. 29 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,970 Yeah, we all do but you don't have to kill people. 30 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,017 Bye! 31 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,811 -You ever wonder where this thing goes? -Nope. 32 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,022 -Probably smart. -Stuart. 33 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:30,901 We gotta talk. 34 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,696 Shit just got weird. 35 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,360 Do you have an identical twin brother? 36 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,070 No. 37 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,988 -Okay, I have two questions. -Just two? 38 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:20,075 I've only got a few seconds to explain this, so you gotta focus. 39 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,202 -Who are you? -First question. 40 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,996 I'm you from another stream of reality. 41 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,499 Well, that answers that. Second question-- 42 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,625 Listen to me. 43 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,587 This apocalyptic nightmare that you are living in, 44 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,923 it can be avoided, it never has to happen. 45 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,300 Okay, now I have, like, six questions. 46 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,553 -He can't be me. -He looks like you. 47 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,514 Senior prom, Emily Manhart, peach schnapps. 48 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,474 She was ready to go. You puked in her lap. 49 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,976 Sounds like you. 50 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,730 -At least I went to my senior prom. -I couldn't go. I had mono. 51 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,273 Please, I don't have a lot of time. 52 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:54,651 Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Howard Wolowitz. 53 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,903 -Remember them? -Yeah, real nerds. 54 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,113 Pot-kettle. 55 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,322 -Sure. -Fair enough. 56 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:04,911 Anyway, they invented some kind of quantum entanglement thing, 57 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,830 and you were there when it malfunctioned. 58 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,081 Both of us or just him? 59 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,250 -Doesn't matter! -It matters to me. 60 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,045 The point is, it altered reality. None of this is supposed to be. 61 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,591 -And by none of this, you mean... -None of it! 62 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:23,430 The violence, the devastation, the dimensional rifts! 63 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,391 -Dimensional rifts! -Now we know. 64 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,727 None of this is normal. 65 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,356 -Certainly not that! -The big moth? 66 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,526 Yes! Yes! The big moth! 67 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,029 If you turn the lights off, they don't bother you. 68 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,450 You can put everything right. You can make it the way it was. 69 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,495 -You just have to find the-- -Hang on. Hang on! 70 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:50,916 If you're me from another reality, how can you be in this one? 71 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,001 I don't know. I'm not a quantum physicist. 72 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,836 I went to the Rhode Island School of Design. 73 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,297 -I didn't know that. -Oh, yeah, I have a BFA. 74 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,508 Really? How come you never did anything with it? 75 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,676 What am I gonna do, teach high school kids how to draw fruit? 76 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,595 Guys, please! 77 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,556 The machine is still at Caltech. Here's what you have to do. 78 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,725 Hang on, let me write this down. 79 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,020 "Cal... " 80 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,772 Oh, shoot! 81 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,400 -What is shaking it gonna do? -Stop talking and listen. 82 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,903 You know, I might have a Sharpie, excuse me. 83 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,406 Listen! 84 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,617 When you get to the machine... 85 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,788 -Damn it! -W... What's happening? 86 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:33,625 I don't know! I'm going through some kind of wormhole! 87 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,127 The important thing is... 88 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,675 And... And when you find him... 89 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,973 and that will fix everything. 90 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,478 You get any of that? 91 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,856 I got the gist. 92 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,992 Nice catch, Steve! 93 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:11,037 -How is it out there? -It's a little nippy. Wear layers. 94 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,208 Shall we? 95 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,087 I don't know. I'm having second thoughts. 96 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,882 What are you talking about? We've been given a quest. 97 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,302 -Yeah, but do we believe that guy? -That guy was you. 98 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,263 That's my point. When did we start listening to me? 99 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,266 Maybe we have a chance to fix the world. 100 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,268 I don't know, I think it's important to ask the question. 101 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,186 Is this reality that bad? 102 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,441 I think there's room for improvement. 103 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,493 What are you doing? 104 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,246 What's it look like? I'm trying to get us to Caltech. 105 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,748 With a Thomas Guide? 106 00:06:55,248 --> 00:07:00,003 I would've used the GPS on my iPhone, but civilization seemed to have collapsed. 107 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,672 Check it out. 108 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,009 Juggling two-- 109 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:12,182 Juggling two starving feral creatures, as you can see, is not difficult, but... 110 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:18,688 juggling three is... is profoundly stupid. 111 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,733 I saw them in Vegas. 112 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,610 Such a fun night. 113 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,738 You know who I loved in Vegas and I didn't think I would? 114 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,281 Celine Dion. 115 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,575 I'm sorry. 116 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,207 All right. 117 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,126 Oh, yeah. 118 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,300 Thank you! 119 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:51,388 We are Penn and Teller and we'll be here until we're dead! 120 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,072 Moth. 121 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,580 Oh, my God, look. Floss. 122 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,709 -Just hurry. It's getting dark. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 123 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,712 Excuse me, how much for a foot of floss? 124 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,381 -Mint or regular? -Let me get the regular. 125 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,390 Thank you. Oh, yeah, look at that. 126 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,351 Can't put a price on healthy gums. 127 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:45,984 -This feels so good. -Go easy. We're sharing that. 128 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:49,904 Not a good sound. 129 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,367 Stuart? 130 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,911 Denise? 131 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,497 -I thought you were dead. -I thought you were dead! 132 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,126 So, what have you been up to? 133 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,628 Robbing mostly. Still working on my screenplay. 134 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,922 -Good for you. -Yeah. How have you been? 135 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,508 -Okay. Still got the store. -That's great. 136 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,593 What's going on? 137 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,803 Don't worry, Gary. I know these guys. 138 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,347 So, we're not robbing, we're not killing? What are we doing? 139 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:20,268 -You remember I mentioned Stuart? -Sure. How's it going? Gary. 140 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,394 Hi. 141 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,064 So, are you two... 142 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,232 You gotta remember, I thought you were dead. 143 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,234 Yeah, no, right, right, yeah. 144 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,737 Funny story, actually, Gary was seeing my friend Lisa. 145 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,322 Nice girl. Yeah, Jewish. 146 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,742 Yeah, and anyway, Lisa got eaten by cannibals in Sherman Oaks. 147 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,535 Oh, no. 148 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,412 Human meat isn't kosher, 149 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,832 but I guess that only matters if the cannibals are also Jewish. 150 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,254 Anyway, we, you know, comforted each other. 151 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,673 -The lady has skills, am I right? -Well... 152 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:55,220 To be honest, I mostly focused on my own performance. 153 00:09:56,763 --> 00:10:00,892 -Anyway, we gotta go. -Yeah, Caltech. We're on a quest. 154 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,853 There's no more Caltech. What's left of it is a death trap. 155 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105 We don't have a choice. 156 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,732 Yeah, an alternate version of me came from another universe 157 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,776 and explained how I can undo the apocalypse. 158 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:13,154 -It was really cool. -An alternate version of you? 159 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,615 Yeah, same pasty face and same whiny voice. 160 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,033 It was like looking in a mirror. 161 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,410 Well, good luck. 162 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,205 -Yeah, nice to see you. -Yeah, you too. 163 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,542 Have fun with the... looting and stuff. 164 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:27,919 Ciao. 165 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,425 -They're gonna die. -Oh, yeah. 166 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:44,269 -That looks bad. -Because of all the guns? 167 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,272 Yes, because of all the guns. 168 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:53,778 -Denise, what are you doing? -Trying to keep you alive. 169 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,197 I don't care about your life. I'm just hoping to get laid tonight. 170 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,282 Gary. 171 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,366 -Very kind. -Thank you. 172 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,994 -What's your plan? -No, I don't really have one. 173 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,830 -I'm kind of new to the action genre. -All right, here's how we do this. 174 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,373 I'll create a distraction at the main gate. 175 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,917 The three of you cut around to the side where the trucks are going in. 176 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,002 Yeah, then what? 177 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,464 When the trucks stop, you roll under them, grab the undercarriage, and ride on in. 178 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,508 You, sir, have done this before. 179 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,594 Well, back in the day, I was Army Special Forces. 180 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,096 Cool. I was a geologist. 181 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,807 -We ready? -Yeah. 182 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:28,396 -Hang on. So... So, roll, run, grab? -Run, roll, grab. 183 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:33,860 -Sorry, more of a visual learner. -On three. One, two, three! 184 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,614 Oh, my God, Gary! 185 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,033 -Don't move! -Hands in the air! 186 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,456 Tell them about the alternate version of you. 187 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,000 Oh, my gosh, Gary. 188 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:52,212 It's terrible. Just terrible. But you know what? 189 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,380 You... You're gonna find somebody else. 190 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,799 Maybe sooner than you think. 191 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,177 Get in there! 192 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,223 -Wow! -What? 193 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,725 This used to be my Geology classroom. 194 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,479 -I opened so many young minds here. -Can you keep it down? 195 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,148 Raj? 196 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,110 Maybe. Possibly. 197 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,154 Who wants to know? 198 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,241 Raj, it's me, Stuart, from the comic book store. 199 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,119 Stuart? 200 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:28,414 Yes, and... and Bert Kibbler. You know Bert? 201 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:31,000 -Bert? -And Denise. Remember Denise? 202 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:36,172 This isn't real. This is... This is a hallucination! 203 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,508 No. No, no, no. We're here. It's real. 204 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,094 That's kind of what a hallucination would say. 205 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:46,140 -What are you doing here? -Isn't it obvious? I'm in a locked room. 206 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:49,018 I haven't changed my underwear in years, and I crap in a bucket! 207 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,604 So, you're like a prisoner? 208 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,983 I rode an elephant to my wedding and now I crap in a bucket! 209 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,276 Congratulations. 210 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,238 -On the wedding thing. -Yeah, a moth ate her. 211 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:05,827 Anyway, I... I've had time to... to... to figure it all out, 212 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,663 and there's definitely something wrong with this reality. 213 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:12,750 See? I prove it here and here, and the numbers, they don't lie. 214 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,086 -So, you were telling the truth? -You didn't believe me? 215 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,380 That an alternate version of you told you how to save the universe? 216 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,007 No, not for a minute. 217 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:23,553 Pay attention! Leonard, Sheldon, and Howard. 218 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,307 They built a vari-state quantum interference device. 219 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,766 That would have been my guess. 220 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,811 It malfunctioned, and it changed everything, right? 221 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,605 The universe, history, reality. 222 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,649 Yeah, yeah, great. How... How do we fix it? 223 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,110 Yeah, that's a toughie. Why, you ask? 224 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,779 Wait, did you ask? I assume you ask. 225 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:46,117 It's a toughie because we're all prisoners of the Evil One. 226 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:52,123 And the Evil One likes everything to stay just as it is. 227 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,834 Who's the Evil One? 228 00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:00,131 I can't say his name! If I say his name, bad things happen. 229 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:02,925 Sorry, is it Voldemort? 230 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,053 I wish it was Voldemort. That's a guy you can reason with. 231 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,220 But-- 232 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,724 If we got to the device, you could really reset the universe? 233 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,851 Bing, bang, boom! But it's hopeless! 234 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,979 That device, it's surrounded by armed guards, 24/7! 235 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,398 No, it's not hopeless. The alternate me said 236 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,484 that I'm the chosen one who'll set things right. 237 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,694 He didn't say "chosen." 238 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:26,741 -Well, he implied "chosen." -Boy, I did not get that at all. 239 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,743 All kneel... 240 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:32,789 for the Grand Caliph of South Pasadena, Flintridge, and Monrovia! 241 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,540 The Supreme Ruler of the San Gabriel Valley! 242 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,126 I'm not kneeling for anybody! 243 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,587 Okay, yeah. 244 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,300 Hello, pwisoners. 245 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,719 -Kripke? -Ward Kripke. 246 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,137 Not Ward. "Word." 247 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,140 -What... What'd I say? -You said "Ward," and-- 248 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,143 This is The Evil One? Barry Kripke? 249 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,814 He's sorry. Please. He doesn't know. Show him mercy. 250 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:02,944 Mercy? I am nothing if not merciful. Troubadours sing of my mercy! 251 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:06,614 -You mind if we stand up? -No one stands before Ward Kripke. 252 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,492 Okay, wast time, it's "Word," not "Ward." 253 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,785 Go ahead, stand, doesn't matter. 254 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:15,623 With all due respect, my liege, how is it that you're the... the grand... 255 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,626 -Cawiph. -...Caliph of South Pasadena? 256 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,087 I suppose we have time for a wittle backstory. 257 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,006 I apologize. You guys have heard this before. 258 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:29,554 When everything went screwy and civilization as we know it cowapsed, 259 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,932 a vacuum of weadership was created here at the university, 260 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:36,018 and as we all know... 261 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,187 Nature abhors a vacuum? 262 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:44,193 Wight-o. So, I seized power, got all the food, the guns, and the girls. 263 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,946 Yeah, end of backstory. 264 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,490 But this world is a living nightmare. Don't you wanna put things right? 265 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,077 Were you not wistening? I... I got all the girls. 266 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,662 By the way... 267 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,206 are you... you seeing anyone or... 268 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,875 -She's with me. -No, I'm not. 269 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,252 I'm trying to protect you. 270 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,964 Take the wench, wash her, bring her to my woom. 271 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,341 -I'd rather die! -I understand. 272 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,218 Wash her and kill her. 273 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,678 -What? No! -No, no, no. 274 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,263 -Hey, hey, hey! -What are you doing? Let go! 275 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,973 -Hands off! -Let me go! Get off of me! 276 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,808 Hands off! Hey, hey! Hey! 277 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,854 Stuart, please come back. 278 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,148 Move towards the light! 279 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:28,070 -No. -Come on, wake up. I've got an idea. 280 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,575 -What-- Denise. Where's Denise? -They took her. 281 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,328 No, no! No, no, no, no! I have to do something! 282 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,579 Or... 283 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,832 -Or what? -You move on, you meet someone new, 284 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,834 and they get eaten by a moth on your honeymoon. 285 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,712 -Excuse me, I have an idea. -Go ahead. 286 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:49,926 Like I said, this used to be my Geology classroom. 287 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,803 It's filled with all kinds of rock samples. 288 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:56,516 So, we're gonna throw rocks at men with guns? 289 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,893 'Cause if you don't know, rock beats scissors, not gun. 290 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,271 We're not gonna throw rocks. We're gonna make bombs out of them. 291 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,440 -What? -Behold. 292 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,944 Potassium. And some water. 293 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,570 Everybody needs to step back a little, please. 294 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:22,375 -Cool, huh? -Yeah, if the guards are taking a bath. 295 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,920 No. We're gonna make grenades. 296 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:31,092 -How come I never thought of that? -Don't be hard on yourself. 297 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:35,680 Most people underestimate the mighty force that is geology. 298 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,605 Sorry, fellas. Time to die. 299 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,233 Agreed. Catch. 300 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,026 What the... 301 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:55,449 -I love you! -I love you too. 302 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,285 Let's go! 303 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,623 So, what were you in the before times? 304 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,292 -No talking. -Come on, I'm gonna die anyway. 305 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,796 I had a podcast. Vitamins, gut health. 306 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,007 -Nice. -I had Gwyneth Paltrow on. 307 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,635 Oh, my God, I think I heard that. 308 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,553 No, how a good gut biome prevents dementia. 309 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,679 -Yes! -Yeah. 310 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,598 -Thank you! That's exactly-- -It was so good. Yeah. 311 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,021 Well, my dear, have you changed your mind? 312 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,565 Is the choice still sex with you or death? 313 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,150 Wook, I'm not a monster. 314 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:15,529 I'm just proposing we have a nice dinner, watch a movie, see what unfolds. 315 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,616 -Kill me. -Give us a minute. 316 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:30,044 Wook. Being the ruler of a post-apocalyptic fiefdom can be... 317 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,630 very wonely. 318 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,716 -What about your harem? -Those girls don't really care about me. 319 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,595 They're just here for the food, medicine, free childcare. 320 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:44,975 You know what? 321 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,020 Fine. I will have dinner with you. 322 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,732 -Wonderful. -You'll have to untie me first. 323 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:56,821 A real relationship is built on trust. That has to start now. 324 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,327 Okay. Hey, you wike venison? 325 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:08,290 I make it with a cherwy gwaze. The key is low-heat weduction. 326 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:18,426 You are a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid man! 327 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,189 Stay healthy. 328 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,900 You too! 329 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,363 Stuart! 330 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:42,158 -I'm so glad you're okay. -I'm so glad you're okay. 331 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,413 Sorry. I'm covered with people. 332 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,041 Yeah, everybody's okay. Let's go! 333 00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,218 -Thank God for geology! -I do every day. 334 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,096 There it is. 335 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,015 Really? It looks like one of those bread machines 336 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:07,224 from Williams Sonoma. 337 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,352 It's a vari-state quantum interference device! 338 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,520 Could be both. 339 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,939 -Can you fix it? -Yes, I think so. 340 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,858 Calibration is off. 341 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:20,738 -Gotta reconfigure. Change the inputs. -What's supposed to happen? 342 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,073 Does everything just go back to the way it was? 343 00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,992 Yeah, fingers crossed. 344 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,119 That would mean you and I would be together again. 345 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,330 Slow down, champ. I'm still grieving. 346 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,707 I think I got it! 347 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,462 He don't got it. 348 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:41,133 Barry, what did you do? We're trying to fix the universe! 349 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,677 I don't want it fixed! I wike it the way it is. 350 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,054 We don't. 351 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:51,519 -Raj, talk to me, buddy! -I'm okay. I'm okay. 352 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,396 Maybe not. 353 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,233 Raj? 354 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,571 What do we do? How do we fix the machine? 355 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,240 Look! 356 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:08,285 It's my grandmother, Ambulu, beckoning me to join her! 357 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,371 Ca... Can... Can she wait a minute? 358 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,207 -Apparently not. -Okay. 359 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:19,421 -What do we do? What do we do? -Set the impedance to point seven. 360 00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,383 -The what? -Yeah, right here. 361 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,804 Okay... 362 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:30,057 -Disengage the attenuator. -Okay. 363 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:35,813 -Okay. -Turn the main release. 364 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,990 -Done! -But first... 365 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,200 "But first"? What do you mean, "But first"? 366 00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:55,749 This is upsetting! 367 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,169 Should it be glowing? 368 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:17,980 Bert, stop. 369 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:23,277 No zombies, no moths. 370 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,155 No apocalypse. 371 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,412 It worked. 372 00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:36,498 Look how beautiful. 373 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,252 Wats, my weign has ended. 374 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:45,382 -Hey, your bruises are gone. -Oh, yeah. 375 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:49,178 You wook good. I mean... for you. 376 00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,640 -Where's Denise? -I don't know. 377 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,726 I can't lose her again. 378 00:23:55,809 --> 00:24:00,189 Don't worry, she's out there, and we'll find her. 379 00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:04,068 Everything's back to normal. 27306

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