All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S05E19.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta

Jay, Mark, I would like to discuss with
you my vision for Mountains of the

Valley, the world's first upscale
restaurant.

I'm confused, Trevor. I thought you
owned the trademark to that name and you

would refuse to sell it to us. Yes, but
in the end, Jay couldn't countenance the

alternative name that Tad settled upon,
Boobs and Steaks.

So they asked me to let Tad have
Mountains of the Valley, and here we

how did we come up with the menu, Jay?
You got my name up with the lamb?

Yeah, I did. Tad, it's just... You know,
the individual chops are kind of my

signature. Yeah, gotta be a rack,
otherwise it won't make sense when the

ask if anyone would like to see their
huge rack.

Well, it's hard to argue with that, Dad.

And what exactly are jalapeno knockers?

That's for Jay to figure out.

But they're on the menu.

Okay, we have to find a way to save
Mahesh. We can't let our restaurant turn

into this.

Okay, guys, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, this is hell. Who is that?

Nikki, the new barkeep.

She looks very qualified.

Are you talking about those strong
muddling hands?

Yeah, I noticed that too.

Calluses for days, am I right? Oh yeah,
no mint is safe.

What do you mean you're moving

out? I know this comes as a shock. When
I moved to the basement, I considered it

a permanent and authentic decision. But
what can I say?

My friends miss me.

Spare us, Isaac. You moved down here so
you could run for ghost representative

as a basement dweller. Now you don't
need us, so you're out of here.

Fine. Take your carpet and put it in
your bag and shove it.

Well, this is emotional for all of us.

I, for one, will remember each and every
one of you fondly.

I'm back!

Free of those freaks!

Oh, do you smell that?

I don't smell anything.

Precisely. Oh, it's good to be home.

Welcome back, Isaac.

Hey, uh, Tad, I just wanted to talk to
you about something. Oh, I'm glad you're

here.

What if instead of small, medium, and
large, we offered our drinks in a B cup,

cup, and D cup?

I think this guy might be a genius.

Tad, are you sure that this rebrand is
the best thing for the business?

It's just Mahesh is very precious to
Jay. I mean, he named it after his dad.

I named the main character after my dad
in my classic noir film, Jimmy the

Deadbeat. He must have been very
touched.

Sons of bitches. Sorry, sorry.

City Council is voting tomorrow to
officially remove me from office.

Oh. I thought that already happened.

Effectively, yeah. It's just a
formality.

But if the vote goes your way tomorrow,
you could be mayor again?

Never gonna happen.

Councilman Gus Hayward, my nemesis, is
the deciding vote, so unless he has a

miraculous change of heart, afraid you
guys are stuck with me. I always wanted

to have a nemesis. Well, what about your
friend who was sleeping with your wife

for all those years?

Oh, yeah. I guess I do have one.

Hang on. If Gus did change his mind and
reinstate you, is that something you'd

be interested in?

Yeah, of course. Public service is my
passion.

I just want to help people, make the
world better. Hey, Tad, the tank tops

in, but they're not bedazzled like you
wanted.

Seriously? I spent 20 minutes on the
phone with that guy. I sent him multiple

sketches. Sorry, excuse me.

This is interesting.

Sam, it seems like if you can get Tad
his mayorship back, he'll drop the whole

restaurant idea.

Whoa, let's just take a beat. What about
Nikki?

She just got this job. Is anybody
thinking about her?

I'm thinking about her. I'm thinking
about her quite a bit. We got to talk to

this councilman, see if we can change
his mind. Now, hold your horses. You

to flip a politician, you're going to
need some leverage.

What do you mean?

I'm talking about dirt.

Who is this guy? What's he hiding?

Everybody has something they don't want
someone to know.

Like my unpermitted deck.

I mean, I would have done just about
anything to keep that from coming out.

Dares weren't even to code.

God forgive me. That makes a lot of
sense, Joan.

I'm going to do some digging on this
councilman, see if we can find anything

useful.

Like she doesn't care about Nicky at
all.

Hartman.

Nick!

Sorry, I'm sorry.

I just can't seem to fall asleep.

Perhaps I'm out of practice sleeping
lying down in the basement we sleep

standing up, like cattle or horses.

Also giraffes, which, as I understand
them, are kind of like tall orange

donkeys. Look, I've got a big day
tomorrow. The new People magazine is

and I'm hoping for a shower to make of
her.

Wait, what happened to Momoa? Oh, hunks
are over. It's all about hot rodent men

now. Hot rodent men.

Okay, good night.

God, this takes me back. Digging up dirt
on a big wig. A politician with a dark

past.

Classic noir stuff.

This guy's a saint.

Councilman Gus Hayward.

Volunteers at church. Fundraisers for
the Salvation Army. Foster's disabled

Boom! I got a parking ticket in 1996.

Is that anything?

Not exactly a dead hooker, but it's a
start.

Happy blackmailing, everyone. How's it
going?

We've got bupkis.

This guy's cleaner than Orson Welles
played after a steak dinner at Musso's.

She has a way with words. I don't know
what any of them mean, but I like how

says them.

Wait, is that the guy?

That's Gus?

Yeah, why?

Because I've seen him before.

And if we need dirt, oh boy, I got a
whole truckload.

Enough to get the mayor his job back?
And then some.

Oh, I got a second parking ticket.

A pattern emerges.

Just tell us, Pete, what do you have on
Gus that would be so damning that he

would have to reinstate Tad as the
mayor?

Well, I will tell you, right after a
patented Martino drumroll.

I saw him in an orgy! Oh.

What? You remember months ago when we
snuck into the Farnsby's media room to

move that bookshelf so that Thor could
watch his son get married? We do have

fun. Yes, I remember. I jumped out the
window and I ran home to cancel our

Evercreek water subscription.

Well, after you left, you'll recall Jay
was stuck in the closet while your

friends who were renting the Farnsby's
home put on a DVD of what they thought

was the movie Swingers. But it turned
out to be a sex tape of people who

actually were swingers.

Bingo! A septuagenarian orgy, one of the
stars of which was our friend Gus right

here. Oh.

Jake, Gus was in that amateur porn video
you heard in the Farnsby's closet.

Oh, God.

That haunting knee -clicking, that was
Gus's.

Click, a clack, a romp in the sack.

She can really tell some gibberish.

But, babe, none of this is good to us
unless we can get some hard evidence. No

pun intended.

Yeah, my guy's not afraid to go blue.

Well, we better get that tape. Or we
could accept.

that Mahesh had a good run and Nikki
gets to keep her job, who are we to play

God?

So we'll get the tape. Yeah, we'll get
the tape. Great.

Suddenly, Ward McAllister opens his
mouth and vomits all over Alva

birthday cake.

Ooh, and that's when I realize the clams
have turned.

Am I boring you?

I'm sorry, Hedy. I didn't get a wink
last night.

I've been in the basement so long, I
think I've grown habituated to their

unusual nocturnal customs.

Hmm. You've been institutionalized.

Excuse me? In 1876, my mother made an
offhand comment admitting to feelings of

sexual longing. She was thus diagnosed
with hysteria and whisked away to the

local asylum.

Naturally. Upon her return, 18 months
later, she had grown accustomed to the

ways of the asylum, and it was now home
where she felt a strange unease. Yeah.

That's exactly how I'm feeling.

So what did you do?

Well, we realized she needed to be
weaned.

So for a time, we brought a taste of the
asylum back to Woodstone.

To help Mother go to sleep, my sister
Margaret and I would wail psychotically

outside her door.

Interesting. So you're saying I should
bring some of the basement upstairs, at

least until I've weaned myself of their
ways.

Indeed, exactly.

Genius. Thank you.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes.

It was a dangerous summer for Shelfish.

I'm surprised you wanted to borrow a
DVD.

Don't y 'all have streaming over there?
I'm more of a physical media guy. Me

too, though I got burned bad by Betamax.
How did VHS win? It's a slightly

inferior platform.

There's so many to choose from, I think
I'll just go with some of the classics.

Master and Commander, oh, Die Hard,
whatever this is, and...

Sudden Death, starring Jean -Claude Van
Damme. Uh, wait, that one's not actually

swingers. And Die Hard's not what he
thinks it is either.

It's fine, whatever.

No, you really don't want to see that.
Well, that's what they said about Batman

Forever, but guess what? I loved it.
It's the Farnsby's having sex with a

of old people.

I can handle it.

What? Thank you, see you later.

So, how's married life?

He snores so loud.

Vikings.

Okay, Hedy, that's perfect.

Pete, don't be afraid to scoot right in
there. All right, now, Sass, feel free

to relax that posture. We're looking for
a nice, casual slouch. All right,

that's it.

What the hell's going on here?

Oh, well, Hedy helped me see that I had
become institutionalized, so in order to

wean myself, I've decided to temporarily
recreate the basement sleep experience

upstairs. Don't mind us. We'll just be
standing here quietly watching you

Oh, it won't be quiet.

No, the subterranean sleep experience is
a symphony of bodily noises.

What? Well, for example, Nancy died with
pus blocking a majority of her nasal

canal, creating the most soothing nose
whistle.

Hedy, I'm going to need you to recreate
that.

Oh, unfortunately, cocaine obliterated
my septum. The air blows through it like

a breeze through a mountain pass.

Okay, well, there's also a scent
element. Did anyone die having recently

an onion?

Creepy jerk did, and that pungent aroma
has become a bit of a security blanket.

You know, Isaac, these requests are a
little more specific than I anticipated.

I kind of just thought it would be
clumping.

So that's the note of the onion?

Okay, well, somebody has to be in charge
of the bedtime stories, and the main

character's name has to be Isaac,
because that is how the trunk would

it. I think I'm out.

What? No.

I thought this would be like funny
weird, but now it's just kind of sad,

Okay, bye.

Seth, you can't leave.

Three is not a clump.

All right, Alberta, you're in.

Dream on, Isaac.

I wish I could.

I wish I could.

Oh, thank you for meeting with me,
Councilman Hayward. Always happy to sit

a constituent.

Unfortunately, we've seen your happy
face, and that's not it. Now, I'm in a

of a hurry. I'm volunteering at a soup
kitchen this afternoon.

Well, what can I do for you?

Well, uh, sir, I'm a colleague of the
soon -to -be former mayor's, and I would

like you to reconsider stripping him of
his mayoral duties.

We have seen him strip people before, so
you're not the only one who can do

wordplay. Look, it's a shame what
happened with Tad.

But he violated the trust and faith of
this community.

And unfortunately, my hands are tied.

Not even going to touch that one. Too
easy. Okay, I'm going to cut right to

chase. Tad is turning my dream
restaurant into an upscale restaurant

me invent jalapeno knockers. So I'm
going to slide a DVD to you now

that will make you reconsider.

Oh, baby's first blackmail. What is
this?

Swingers? Well, it's not the Vince
Vaughn love letter to the Los Feliz of

90s. That is septuagenarian porn.

It's an orgy filmed at the Farnsby's.

Oh, no.

That got his attention quicker than Miss
Farnsby walking in with a riding crop.

Look, I could get Tad his mayorship
back, but that won't fix things.

There's someone else who wants Tad taken
down, and she'll stop at nothing.

A mysterious femme fatale. The plot
thickens. What are you talking about?

talking about the person who told me
about Gate -Gate in the first place.

The whistleblower.

She's desperate to end Tad's political
career, and she's got more dirt where

that came from.

Well, who is she? I can't tell you that.

And now that I have this, I don't have
to.

And you won't be able to prove a thing.

Dude, I have copies.

Oh. Can I have those?

No.

Okay.

In that case, I'll tell you.

The whistleblower is Tad's wife.

The wife did it.

Classic twist.

But tell me more about this restaurant.

Is there a back room, and do you rent it
out to large groups?

Okay, yes.

I was the one who turned Tad in for Gate
-Gate.

You enjoying your food?

It's delicious.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, I'm a ghost. I thought you knew.

Worked at Pizza Barn back in 05, four
restaurants ago.

Didn't you see the check bike in her
back? What's delicious?

I was talking to you.

The betrayal.

The betrayal is delicious.

She is a big fan of betrayal, which, you
know, keeps me on my toes.

So, circling back, why did you sabotage
your own husband's political career?

I did it for our marriage.

After our daughter went to college, it
was supposed to be our time.

We always said we'd sell the house, buy
a boat, sail to the islands, but our

time never came.

Love your outfit.

You're clearly in a conversation.

Have some ghost -to -living etiquette.

After he sold the car dealership, then
he ran for mayor.

I saw even less of him then.

So you took him down, but then instead
of spending more time with you, he just

dove into a new project.

Exactly. He's never going to stop
working.

It's a bit of a bummer, but you've got a
feel for the broad.

Melanie.

Tad, what are you doing here?

I'm picking up my mooshu pork.

Jay recommended this place to me. Jay,
you recommended this place to Tad and

suggested it to Melanie for our secret
meeting?

Well, it's a great place, but they're
not doing very well. I'm just trying to

support them. What's she talking about?
Secret meeting.

Oh, I'm tired of this.

Tad? I'm the one who blew the whistle on
Gate -Gate.

What?

How could you?

God, I miss you.

It's actually kind of sweet if you think
about it. Who cares? You ruined my

political career.

I can't believe you'd do this to me.

So do we think that mooshy pork is up
for grabs?

Jay. Well, I don't want it to go to
waste.

Isaac! Shh, shh, shh. Back to sleep.
Hey.

Isaac, you're back? Hey, everyone.

Isaac's back.

Oh, look who came crawling back,
standing up. No, no, no, no, no. I am

I simply want to sleep with you.

Listening? No, I mean, I've been having
trouble sleeping upstairs, so I thought

I would just come down here to get some
shut -eye. Yeah, right.

I know what this is.

You miss us.

Oh. Yeah, right. What do I miss? Hmm?

Dirk's onion breath, Stewart's idiotic
pontificating about wood, the warm, womb

-like security of the clump. Okay, fine.
I miss you freaks. There, I said it.

Isaac, just because you don't live down
here anymore doesn't mean you can't come

visit. Really?

Absolutely. We have an open -door policy
down in the pit.

Mostly because someone nailed the door
shut to make sure we died in here.

Yeah, you're always welcome.

Oh, there's that onion breath I've
missed so much. Oh, what do you say? One

overnight for old time's sake, hmm?

Come on!

Clump up, buddy!

So,

I could be mayor again because Gus goes
to senior sex parties?

I know you're processing a lot, but yes,
that is pretty much the gist of it. Are

the parties just for seniors, or do
young people just choose not to go? I

know. With our marriage falling apart,
maybe it's better to just turn the page,

launch this restaurant. I mean, you
nailed these jalapeno knockers.

Idea. What if they were served in a bra
basket that the customer had to unclasp?

We were watching a once -in -a
-generation talent.

And the clasp is an onion ring.

What a mind.

Uh, Tad, there's someone here to see
you.

I came to apologize.

It's true, I've been unhappy, but I
never should have blown the whistle on

-gate. In my defense, I had just
polished off a box of white sin.

I should probably get along really well
with that wine -a -lucia bowl.

Honestly, I'm not mad at you.

You were desperate, and it's true, I do
love my work.

But I also love you.

So I'm not sure where that leaves us.

Well, here's a cake -and -eat -it -too
suggestion.

He wants to work. She wants to spend
more time together.

What if they took a page out of the Sam
and Jay playbook and worked together?

What if there was a way that you could
still be mayor and also spend more time

together by being like me and Jay?

What do you mean?

Castrapped? Inept at business?

Friendly? Maybe you could work together
at the mayor's office.

Oh, I would love to work with Tad,
but...

I don't know if I'm built for the world
of politics.

I don't know. That was pretty
manipulative and underhanded, the way

Tad's career.

That's true.

She could be your chief of staff.

Oh, uh, I already have one.

Not after you throw Jeremy under the bus
for any residual gate gate fallout.

My God, that came to her easily.

I like it.

We're going to do great things together.
We could even do some traveling like

you wanted, but on the city's dime.

You heard he's getting his job back five
seconds ago, and he's already knee

-deep in new corruption.

Oh, no.

You probably won't have time to be the
mayor and run a world -class

breadstaurant, though, huh?

That's true, but I don't want it
happening without me.

I'm gonna have to pull the plug on
Mountains of the Valley.

You can still put jalapeno knockers on
the Mahesh menu, if you want.

Thank you. I will take that under
serious consideration.

Thank you, guys, for everything.

We gotta go, but we'll write you from
St.

Kitts, where we'll be on a catamaran.

Working tirelessly for the people of
Ulster County.

And in the end, it all worked out. The
girl got the guy, the guy got the job,

and I got to smell something called
Mooshu Three Ways. Which, ironically,

the name of the move Gus was doing on
that tape.

Well, it seems that Mayor Tad has
somehow survived the Gate -Gate scandal

will not be stepping down anytime soon.

Oh, good news for Tad. Bad news for
Jalapeno Knockers.

Yeah, sorry, Trevor.

This is a setback for the upscale
restaurant industry as a whole.

But we have been through worse, and we
will be back.

And in a surprising twist, Tad's return
to office was aided by a longtime

political foe, Gus Hayward.

I caught up with the city councilman
earlier today.

That's the thing about politics.

You never know when people are going to
come together.

That language felt purposeful. I think
you're probably reading into it. My

is you have to be flexible.

Sometimes you just have to reach across
the aisle and give someone a hand.

Okay, well, there's no reading into
that.

Okay, yeah, this guy's a freak.

He did that same wink on the tape. Oh,
it haunts me.

And now let's turn it over to brand new
Channel 5 weatherwoman, Nikki Snow.

A cold front is expected to move in over
the next few days.

Wait, is that the bartender from
Mountains of the Valley? Yes.

Glad she landed on her feet.

Can't keep that kind of talent down.