Original subtitles

ZEKE: Once a year

all the Calogero men head out to pick tomatoes.

We check them for dodgy brown bits

and grubs nesting in the flesh.

Only the best tomatoes will do.

And then...

...we squeeze it, we boil it,

sauce it, pour it,

then cap it on tight.

And why do we do this to the poor little tomato?

Tradition.

Our family did this in Sicily.

And we've been doing it ever since we came to Australia.

And one day,

speriamo,

you kids will do it too.

Tradition is what keeps us together.

Salute!

ALL: Salute!

(CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(ITALIAN POP MUSIC PLAYS)

(GRUNTS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Slow as a turtle, this boy.

(SIGHS) They're heavier than they look.

Even your nonna could lift that.

(SIGHS)

Are you struggling? (GROANS) A little bit.

You need to go to the gym, darlin'.

Thanks, Mum. Come on.

LORENZO: Ciao, Mama! NAT: Hi!

Oh, my God, she thinks she's Gina Lollobrigida.

Hello! Don't you look adorable? Ciao.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey! You dropped a... a pomodoro?

(LAUGHS) Molto bene.

Oh, so, where do we start?

Uh... Want me to carry one?

Uh... It's usually just the boys.

Always just the boys. Picking pomodoros is hard work.

(CHUCKLES) I don't mind getting my hands dirty.

Oh!

Which idiot forgot to dig the drainage pit?

Zeke.

Why didn't you dig the pit this morning?

It's usually Lorenzo's job. Hurry up.

But he's here now, can't he just...

Dig. Maybe it'll put some muscle on ya.

SONG: ♪ Cars, money, so what?

♪ We just want real love

♪ All that fake shit Blow it up

♪ No, they can't control us

♪ Out here living how we want

♪ Smoking weed and getting drunk

♪ We don't give a fuck

♪ We just want real love

♪ I only want the good life

♪ Stay rollin' with the homies They on my side

♪ Chicks crazy out here Yeah, it's so wild

♪ Skin tan with a drink That's how it goes down

♪ And money ain't a problem No way

♪ Anything you want is free every day

♪ I roll up in a Benz Then I give it away

♪ I really didn't need another ride anyway

♪ Oh

♪ Cars, money, so what?

♪ We just want real love

♪ All that fake shit Blow it up

♪ No, they can't control us... ♪

Here, Mum, let me.

You shouldn't be doing that on your birthday.

Mwah. You know how I like things, bub.

Oi, Hammer! You remember Arti?

He did that piece on you for The Guardian.

Come over and say hello. Yeah, in a sec!

Why's Dad got journos here?

You know he's always on. He doesn't stop hustling.

WOMAN: Yoo-hoo! Let's get the party started!

What? Nothing.

Happy birthday, sis! Oh!

Thank you. I was worried you wouldn't make it.

Of course I'd be here!

(CHUCKLES)

There he is - my little man!

Hey, Aunty.

Ooh. Wow.

You're really keeping Lynx Africa in business, aren't you?

I hope you don't get too big for your boots

now that you're gonna be a big AFL star.

Not yet. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Kade, sweetheart, why don't you get Aunty a drink?

I just opened a really nice bottle of Semillon Sauv blanc.

It's actually from Margaret River Winery.

Ooh. Semillon Sauvignon blanc.

(CHUCKLES) Ooh.

I remember when a good time for you

used to be a $5 bag of goon.

Yeah, well, some of us grew up, Doris.

Good ways, good ways. No.

I just need a Jim Beam and Coke.

Does anyone wanna make Aunty Doris a Jim Beam and Coke?

Please. Dad's got the good shit

stashed in his office. Oh, my God, has he really got

the good stuff? Mm-hm.

OK, so, I'm gonna need two, very strong,

if I'm gonna get through today.

OK. Thank you.

Hello, Mr Mayor!

(COUSINS LAUGH IN OTHER ROOM)

He went full mental. He ended up in hospital.

Yeah, I don't know, probably roid rage or some shit,

like Uncle Darren, remember?

That bloke always going off his chops.

(LAUGHTER)

He won't be able to play footy if he's losing it.

I guess he can't hack it.

Glad you could join us.

Is detention cancelled?

I love your optimism. Let's go. Come on.

Anything you want to, uh... discuss?

Not really.

Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Is that it?

Something like that.

Charlie...

...sometimes problems are bigger in our head

than they are in reality.

You, of all people, you should know that.

I'm not gonna skitz out.

Alright, but you can understand my concern.

Now, your dad... I'm fine, Father. Really.

Alright.

Oh, Father, come on!

Do I have to clean the chapel?

Oh, just remember you can always buy some black hair dye.

Nice try!

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(GRUNTS)

(APPLAUSE, MUTTERING)

Uh... So, uh... like, uh...

Like this?

(NONNA SPEAKS IN ITALIAN) (LAUGHS)

God, no! (LAUGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIGHS)

And then she said, "That's not my dog. That's my cat."

(ALL LAUGH)

Are you looking for more work?

I've been working constantly since dawn.

What's up Dad's arse? Don't be disgusting.

No, I mean it. He's been at me all day.

You didn't tell him, did you?

Oh, you sooky-la-la.

I'm sure you're just imagining things.

Well, if the work's too hard for you,

why don't you join us women cleaning the bottles?

Be careful, Natalia, you'll take out Nonna's eye!

(LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

Ahh.

(CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(GROANS) How's it taste?

Top shelf, little man. Top shelf.

So, what's going on, bub?

School's shit, but not like I'm gonna need it next year.

Mm. That's not what I'm talking about.

The drive-in.

Far out!

Must've gotten dehydrated at training, that's all.

No biggie.

Look who you're talking to.

Something's got you rattled.

I don't get rattled.

If she's putting too much pressure on you,

then you let me know.

That's what she does.

She's always had a massive stick up her...

There's no pressure.

This is what I want.

Which means that I've gotta give 110% every single time.

Don't talk to me in Nike slogans.

Just promise me that you'll come to me if things get bad.

Got it?

I promise.

Here.

Oi! Boys!

Really?

You're wasting food.

(CLEARS THROAT)

NONNA: Allora, chi vuole un caffe?

Natalia, vuoi un caffe?

Uh...

Can I get a flat white?

(LAUGHS) It's not a cafe.

(LAUGHS)

Due espresso, Nonna.

Doesn't that bother you?

What?

The way she speaks to her. She treats her like shit.

Buon pomodoro!

(CHORTLES) Buon pomodoro?

(LAUGHS LOUDLY)

That's hilarious.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Alright?

What are you doing here?

Don't gaslight me.

You know those crates you 'borrowed'?

We want them back. All of them.

Didn't know they were yours. Mm!

Sure.

(CHUCKLES)

We could've just returned them tomorrow.

Yeah, well, I need them tonight.

For my party.

We're too cheap for eskys.

Wait, you mean the party that you DIDN'T invite me to?

Oh, shit, you weren't meant to know.

Now you're gonna wanna come.

That's just gonna ruin everything.

(IMITATES SCOOBY-DOO) Oh! I'm a fan of parties.

Grazie, signora. Mi piace molto I cannoli.

Zeke, who's this bella ragazza

who speaks Italian and helps her nonno?

I'm Sabrina. I'm just here to pick up some crates.

Well, it's lovely to meet you, Sabrina.

Zeke, be a gentleman and help her, yeah?

I am.

Well, are you gonna help me?

Yeah! (CHUCKLES)

Whoa, ease up.

(GRUNTS) No, it's chill. I can carry a lot.

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES) OK.

Damn, I can see you want a medal,

but I just seem to be all out.

(LAUGHS) Don't make me laugh! I'm gonna drop 'em!

Yeah, I hope you do, then I can record it.

Post it on Instagram so everyone can see your shame.

(SIGHS)

I'm incredibly impressed.

(CHUCKLES)

So, will I see you at my party?

I'm on tomato duty till late.

Ah. Well, can't compete with a tomato.

Such a slutty fruit.

Well, I'll DM you my addy in case you change your mind.

(QUIETLY) Take this.

I'm lactose intolerant.

OK. (LAUGHS) Ciao, bello.

Ciao!

Bella.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(SIGHS)

SAM: Oi!

Back to work.

(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON EARPHONES)

SONG: ♪ Well, I don't care... ♪

(PHONE CHIMES) ♪ I think you're gross

♪ People know this everywhere

♪ You make me sick!

♪ So, why do I ask... ♪

Why aren't you replying?

I know you're there.

Trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, eh?

Is it 'cause of what I said at the drive-in?

FATHER MULRONEY: Charlie!

Are you OK?

Never better.

♪ ..all I can see is you? ♪

Alright.

NAT: Now I can't see what I'm doing.

(CLEARS THROAT) Under water. Yep.

(GRUNTS)

OTHERS: Ooh! Hey!

SAM: Want him to bowl underarm for ya?

Principessa?

A bit gentler.

Sorry. Thank you.

Uh... Like this?

Oh! Oh, no! I'm so sorry!

Agh!

Really?

I'm so sorry. Ugh.

(CHEERING)

Whoo! Ooh! (APPLAUSE)

SAM: Nice one, Enzo!

Yes!

SAM: You can have a revenge bowl.

If you can bowl straight, that is.

What's that supposed to mean?

Your mother told me what was on your phone.

Ooh! Oh!

Oh! Oh, so sorry!

Sorry. It slipped.

Mm-hm.

LORENZO: Oi.

You're bowlin' or what?

(GRUNTS)

(ALL EXCLAIM) Diavolo fai!

Jesus, Zeke!

I guess you're out too.

SAM: Go get the ball.

"Go get the ball"? That's it?!

Enzo bowls me out, and you cream your daks,

I do the same thing and I get punished?!

Stop acting like a fuckin' stronzo and get the ball.

(SIGHS) OK, Nonna.

ALL: (SING) ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪

Hip-hip! ALL: Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

ROCHELLE: (YELLS) Hammer! (GATE SLAMS)

Hammer, you fucking dog cunt!

(QUIETLY) Rochelle, what the... I don't know what's worse -

going around telling all your mates

that we did it at the drive-in,

or... or trying to break up with me by fuckin' text

because you didn't have the guts to say it to my face.

It's my mother's birthday, for Christ's sake!

Ohh!

You're afraid you're gonna cause a scene?

Hmm?

That it's going to damage your precious image?

Well, don't worry.

I won't be here long enough to cause a scene.

I just want there to be witnesses to know

that you were not the one who dumped me.

I am dumping you.

I never wanna see your face again,

you spineless, cowardly dog.

Uh...

Happy birthday, Karla.

I'm, um...

I'm really sorry I didn't get you a present.

(STIFLES SOB)

(CRIES)

(GATE OPENS)

(CLOSES)

Is that true, bub?

It wasn't a text. It was Snapchat.

We need to have a yarn about our boy, sis.

Jack and I will deal with our son, thank you very much.

You know that's my son too. I care about him.

It's obvious you're pushing him too hard.

Look at what you're turning him into.

Aunty, let it go. We're not! Are we, Jack?

This is what you want, isn't it, Kade?

Mum, stop.

You reckon he wants to end up in hospital

and disrespecting women like that? Do ya?

Some of us actually want our lives to get better

instead of worse.

Good ways.

Aunty!

Hammer is a cowardly dog. Hammer is a cowardly dog.

Hammer is a cowardly dog.

(YELLS) Shut the fuck up!

Oi! Kade!

I've gotta get out of here!

Kade!

Oh, that is a good day's work, Mr Roth. You're free to go.

Something on your mind?

Nuh.

OK.

Priests don't date, do they?

Correct.

And that doesn't bother you?

Compromising your whole life like that?

Well, from the looks of what you're going through,

I'd say it makes life a lot easier.

What? I... I'm fine.

You're the celibate one. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

And you, uh... You think that's a bad thing?

Uh... Yeah.

You spend your whole life serving your god,

but that's not enough for him.

He wants you to be lonely too. That's a hell of a sacrifice.

Oi.

I didn't mean to say 'hell'.

Yeah, I might have thought about it that way once.

But, um...

...here's the thing -

when you receive

real fulfilment, unconditional love,

those so-called sacrifices, they don't seem so bad.

But what if what they want is different to what you want?

And what if it goes against everything you pictured?

Like, you had this whole idea in your head

of how you wanted something to go,

and then this isn't that.

OK, just to clarify,

there's nothing specific on your mind

that you want to talk about?

No.

You can't control what other people want, Charlie.

But sometimes it's the sacrifices

that make the bond more special.

Same time next week?

Unless you're planning on changing your hair.

I'll be here.

Righto.

(HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS IN HOUSE)

Whoa.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hello?!

(CHEERING INSIDE)

(RETCHES) Oh! Ohh.

Lovely.

(RETCHES) Oh.

(COUGHS) (CHUCKLES)

Zeke! You came.

I knew I was a better option than a tomato.

Is this a bad time?

Absolutely!

Come on in!

(LAUGHS)

SONG: ♪ Oh, shit, shake that ass, ma

♪ Move it like a gypsy! ♪ (CHEERING)

♪ Stop, whoa, back it up Now let me see your hips swing!

♪ Oh, shit, shake that ass, ma

♪ Move it like a gypsy!

(LOUDLY) Sorry. There's been some drama.

What?! Drama!

Feel free to grab a drink. I'll find you.

You want me to...

Yes! That would be amazing! You're the best!

I'll be right back. I swear.

♪ You got a mean ass

♪ And I really mean that

♪ But can't you see that I need a girl that can move... ♪

Oi, dickheads!

Oh, ma-ma-mate!

(LAUGHS)

Hammer's in the fuckin' building!

(ALL LAUGH)

Righto, people! Whoo!

We're getting fucked up tonight!

(CHEERING)

CROWD: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

(HOUSE MUSIC THUMPS)

Ooh!

Whoa!

(CHEERING)

Ohh!

(STRUMS SOFTLY)

I'm glad you messaged.

(HOUSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you want to get a drink? Yeah!

Hi.

Hey.

What's with the broom?

Oh. (LAUGHS)

Who wants shots?!

What's in it?

(SQUEALS, LAUGHS)

(COUGHS)

(COUGHS) Whoa!

What now?

(MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH)

Bro. Beer pong. You're up. Now!

(MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH)

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

Whoa! Where are you going?!

I don't feel so good.

But you can't leave.

Why not?

Because I haven't thanked you yet.

You don't have to. Come on!

I'll take care of ya.

Like you took care of me the other night, eh?

I just drank a bit too much, that's all.

You know?

OK.

Thank you.

I just did what anyone would've done.

Nuh.

Not just anyone.

So, how're you feelin'?

Good. I think.

Not too drunk?

You?

Just enough.

Do you ever wish that you could just tell everyone to fuck off?

You know, not worry about pleasing everyone for once

and just do whatever you wanna do?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Every day of my life.

What would you do?

SONG: ♪ This boy's in l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve

♪ L-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve

♪ This boy's in l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve

♪ Under the city Under the city lights! ♪

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

♪ The more you know

♪ The more

♪ The more you know

♪ You know! ♪