Original subtitles

Hey, did you guys see

what Captain Man

did yesterday?

Can we focus on algebra?

There was a fire

at a pet store,

and Captain Man ran inside

right through the flames

and saved all the animals.

And he didn't even get hurt.

Captain Man

never gets hurt.

He's a beast.

You know, someday,

when you guys are cleaning

my swimming pool

'cause you failed

this algebra test,

then flunked out of school,

I hope you remember

this moment, 'cause I will.

Hey, here's a cool job

I could do,

foot model.

You guys,

could we go over the list

for my birthday party?

Sure.

No.

No.

But I invited 52 people,

and nobody's

texted me back yet.

What does that mean?

That people have been

to your parties before?

Oh, come on,

my parties aren't that bad.

Christmas, three years ago,

15 kids ended up

in the hospital.

'Cause of your raw turkey.

It was turkey sushi.

A boy almost died.

Almost.

Okay.

First person who helps me

find an after school job

gets this bowl of pine cones.

Why do you even need

a job?

You know,

to learn responsibility,

challenge myself.

He wants money.

I want money.

Money's good.

Can we please talk

about my birthday?

Am I gonna have

to slap a boy?

Henry,

can you please tell me

how in the wor--

Oh, I didn't know Jasper

and Charlotte were here.

We're studying.

Are we?

Mom, we're right

in the middle

of something.

I'm not interrupting.

Okay, thanks.

I just have a question

about your underwear.

Mom!

I'd like to hear

the question.

What is the issue

with Henry's underwear?

Mom!

Mom, I'm not okay.

Piper, we're trying

to study here.

I'm talking to my mother.

What's wrong, baby?

Jessica unfollowed me.

No one cares.

Henry.

Why would Jessica

unfollow you?

'Cause she posted

a picture of her

with me and Allison,

so I posted a comment

that said,

"OMG, you look

so gorgeous."

Well, that's nice.

No.

'Cause Allison thought

it meant she looked gorgeous,

so she posted a comment

that said, "Thanks, ILY."

And so then

Jessica got jealous

and unfollowed me,

and now I hate myself

and I'm gonna die.

I'll call Jessica's mom

and talk to her.

No!

That's not okay!

Dang it.

All these jobs say

I've got to have skills.

So? You've got

tons of skills.

Name one.

You're a great dancer.

No, I'm not.

You could take lessons.

Oh, my gosh.

What?

I'm--I'm not great

at anything.

This is tragic.

Here, let me see.

I'm just a big pile

of average.

Okay. Here's a job.

Where?

At a store called

Junk-N-Stuff.

It says,

"Needed, part-time helper

for various duties."

"Duties."

And see? It says,

"No special skills necessary."

That's me.

I've got to go get that job.

You get the pine cones.

Sweet.

Good luck, Hen.

Thanks.

If you give me a pine cone,

I'll lick my elbow.

What are you looking at?

Uh, nothing.

Just, uh, this turtle's butt.

Sorry.

Um, my name is Henry Hart.

I'm here about the job.

The job.

Um, did that plant burp?

Go back.

Come back?

Go back.

Where?

To the back.

Oh, go to the back.

Take the elevator down.

What floor?

Down.

You too.

Hey, what's up?

Does my basement smell

like chicken poop?

Yes.

What?

I'm down in my basement

with Charlotte,

and she said it smells

like poop from a chicken.

A sick chicken.

Uh, what are you

and Charlotte doing

in your basement?

He wants to have

his birthday party

down here

in this chicken toilet.

This is my home.

Guys,

I can't talk right now.

I'm at a job interview,

so I gotta go.

Henry, you still there?

Henry?

Henry?

I'll call you back.

Hello?

Hey, how are you?

Cool. Thanks.

Great to meet you.

I'm doing good.

What's your name?

Um, I'm Henry Hart.

I'm here about the job.

Age?

13.

I'll be 14

on my next birthday.

Ah. So you're aging

sequentially.

I like that.

Thanks.

My name's Ray.

Hi, Ray.

You ask a lot of questions.

I don't think I've asked

any questions.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Vanilla.

Helicopters or kangaroos?

Helicopters.

Love it.

Scrambled eggs or dynamite?

Both.

Maybe.

Complete this sentence,

"I'm sorry, Mother,

I didn't mean

for my elephant to blank."

Uh, lick Dad.

Well, that's not funny.

No.

Um, is this

the job interview?

Do you want it to be

the job interview?

Um, what is the job?

What do you think

the job is?

Uh, well, the ad said

part-time helper,

so I'm thinking

maybe you need someone

to help you, you know,

part time.

Do you ever dream

about sleeping?

No.

Good.

If you did, you'd be dead.

I am so confused.

David?

Henry.

Can I trust you?

Sure.

Can you keep a secret?

Totally.

So I can trust you

to keep a secret?

Yes, sir.

I'm going to blow a bubble.

You're going to blow

a bubble?

And I'm going

to blow your mind.

You're Captain Man!

That's right, Henry.

Hold on a second.

Stupid zipper

always sticks.

Come--

Ow, that's my skin!

Yeah, there we go.

Whoo!

Always good to keep

the old zipper lubed.

I--I can't believe

I'm standing here

talking to Captain Man.

Why, are you a fan?

Do you like me?

Most people like me,

but not everyone.

Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

Oh, man,

I've got to tell Jasper

about this.

He's gonna freak

when I tell him I'm here

standing next to Captain--

Sorry, but you can't tell

your friends about this.

Okay. But--

Did you have

to melt my phone?

I'll get you a new one.

Really?

No.

So, Henry, tell me

why you want a job.

Well, you know, to--

to learn responsibility

and challenge myself.

So you want money?

Lots of money.

Oh,

is this the ladies' room?

No, ma'am.

You're not supposed to be

down here.

What an interesting place.

Thank you,

but I'm conducting

a job interview,

and you're very old,

so can you please just

get back in the elevator?

Oh, I'll just take me phone

out of me purse

and call me nephew.

Great.

I'll just turn my back

and look at something.

What are you looking at?

Captain Man!

Oh!

Goodbye forever,

Captain Man.

No!

Get off of me.

Quit talking

like a British lady.

Stop pulling me wig

over me eyes.

I can't see.

Captain Man!

Captain Man, are you okay?

Captain Man is always okay.

Nice work, Boris.

The boy did good job.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You know the--

That's Boris.

He works for me.

What?

How'd you know he wasn't

really an old lady?

Uh, 'cause of the tattoo

on his neck.

I saw it on him

up in the store.

And his boobs are too wobbly.

True.

Go get those under control.

Henry, you have a sharp eye,

good instincts, a nice shirt,

and you're brave.

Thanks.

Do you know

how to make sandwiches?

I do.

Then you have

all the qualities

I'm looking for.

But I--I don't--

You're the one, Henry.

The one to make you

a sandwich?

No.

Well, yes.

But everybody gets old

some day,

even Captain Man.

I can't do this forever.

Do what?

Protect our town, Swellview,

from bad guys,

bad things, bad smells.

Smells?

You want to be horrified?

No.

Watch this.

Who's the freak

in the diaper?

The Toddler,

and don't let the diaper

fool you, kid.

He's pure evil.

Wow.

I'll show you wow.

Watch this secret video

that was intercepted

by my people

who intercept secret videos.

You were supposed

to bring me my applesauce

two minutes ago.

I'm sorry, Toddler.

Sorry don't make baby happy.

Toddler, good news.

The radioactive zenite

is here.

Really? Whoo-hoo!

That means we can begin

phase two of my plan.

Will someone wipe my face?

No!

Dang.

That takes so much effort.

Have one of our scientists

build me a device to do that.

To do what, sir?

This.

You see that?

He's a maniac.

And there's more maniacs

like him,

all dangerous

to the good citizens

of Swellview.

Well, yeah, but we've

got you to stop them.

True.

But I'm not as young

as I used to be.

I'm almost 34.

I need help, and someday

someone's gonna have

to take over for me.

Like--

Like me?

What do you say, Henry?

Do you want to be

my sidekick?

How much does it pay?

$9 an hour.

Whoa!

I know, right?

Whoa!

Check this place out.

Hey, look at this thing.

Wow, a bucket of swords.

What are they doing here?

Friends of yours?

Uh-huh.

Jasper,

please don't embarrass me.

Excuse me, sir.

He's gonna do it.

Yes?

How much?

Each sword is $100.

No, no, no.

How much for the bucket?

The bucket?

That's not a bucket.

That's a barrel.

It's close enough to a bucket.

I collect buckets.

Don't say it.

I'm a bucketeer.

Well, they seem

like nice kids.

Yeah, their names are

Jasper and Charlotte.

I've known them ever since--

Get rid of 'em.

I'll get rid of them.

Wow, what a bucket.

Kid sure loves that bucket.

Hey.

Henry!

Did you get the job?

Yeah.

Cool.

Does that mean

I can get a discount

on this bucket?

Dude,

it's my first day here.

You--You guys gotta--

Excuse me,

mysterious foreign man,

do Henry's friends

get a discount here?

That plant

just shook its head.

Wow.

Would you get him

out of here?

How much for the plant?

The plant is not for sale.

Bye, guys.

Come on. I'll give you

seven bucks for it

and one Canadian loonie.

Ahhhhh!

It spit in my eye!

I told you Canadian money

upsets people.

You guys,

you've got to go now.

Wait, what about my bucket?

I want the pretty bucket!

I love that bucket!

Will you shut up

about that bucket?

Carry on.

I gotta wear this?

All good sidekicks

wear costumes.

Sorry, but this is bad.

I have more options.

Too sparkly.

Eh, it's a little Broadway.

Too tight.

Uh, way too tight.

Oh, man...

I ate a lot of fruit.

Hey, I like it.

I like it,

but it takes a lot of time

to put on.

And that's why you'll need

this special bubble gum.

Special?

Read the instructions.

"Chew gum, blow bubble,

fight crime."

Now.

What's this for?

It means we're engaged.

What?

No, I'm just kidding.

That's how I'll contact you.

Well, why can't you just

call me?

I melted your phone.

Right.

Now, listen closely.

That wristband flashes.

It flashes.

A triple flashing light

means emergency like,

"major sitch going down,

so get here fast."

Right.

A double flashing light

means it's just important.

And what is a single

flashing light mean?

Just to, you know,

shoot me a text whenever.

Got it.

Now, raise your right hand.

Spread your fingers.

Turn your head and cough.

What?

Joke.

Place your left hand

over your right lung

and repeat after me.

I, Henry Hart--

I, Henry Hart--

pledge to be

an awesome sidekick

to Captain Man--

pledge to be

an awesome sidekick

to Captain Man--

and to never ever, ever,

tell anyone

that I am Captain Man's

secret sidekick.

And to never ever

tell anyone

that I am Captain Man's

secret sidekick.

You left out one "ever."

Ever.

It is done.

Feels good.

Yeah.

Uh-oh.

What's up, Gooch?

Someone sabotaged the bridge

over the Jandy River.

The bridge is down?

Affirmative.

That means yes.

I got that.

Situation?

Cars in the water,

lives in danger.

Understood.

Phase two

of The Toddler's plan.

Let's ride.

Wha-- Ride where?

We've got people

in the Jandy River

that need saving.

Come on.

You mean we're going there

together, like, right now?

Yeah.

Get under your tube.

Ready?

For what?

Up the tube.

I don't know how to--

Whoosh!

Just tap your belt buckle.

Oh. Heh.

Up the tuuuuuuuube.

And we're going

to come back to that story

so we can take you live

to the Jandy Bridge,

which mysteriously collapsed

a little over an hour ago.

Jake, honey, come look.

The Jandy Bridge collapsed.

What?

Oh, no,

that was my favorite bridge.

We understand

there are several people

in cars in the water.

People are injured.

What happened?

They're not sure.

They think--

Mom, Dad, I hate my life,

and I'm not okay.

Not now, honey.

Daddy's favorite bridge

collapsed.

Who cares?

Your daddy cares.

But every time I try

to watch a video on my phone

it keeps freezing,

because our stupid

Wi-Fi signal

only gives me one bar

in my room.

Then just wait

until the video loads

before you watch it.

Oh, so we're living

like animals now?

Later.

I'll run away.

I'll do it.

Rescue workers were

unable to get their equipment

down the muddy embankment.

Luckily, Captain Man

arrived on the scene,

leapt into the water,

and saved the endangered

citizens from drowning.

And Ron, is it true

that for the first time

Captain Man

wasn't working alone?

That's correct.

It appears Captain Man

has teamed up

with a new sidekick,

who apparently goes

by the name Kid Danger.

Huh.

Huh.

Well, once again Swellview

owes a big thanks

to Captain Man

and, apparently, Kid Danger.

Hey, Henry,

did you get the job?

Yeah, just finished

my first day.

So how was work?

Uh, it was pretty...

interesting.

Next on Henry Danger...

Ray!

Ray, what's wrong?

We have a situation.

The Toddler?

Here comes the fun.

Kill everyone!

Monster babies?

That's right, Henry.

Unless we stop

The Toddler...

Tonight?

No, I can't do tonight.

What? What do you mean?

I got two responses.

To what?

My birthday party

invitation.

Two guys said

they might come.

Cool party.

Okay, you go

to Jasper's party,

I'll handle The Toddler

by myself.

We do have confirmation

that Captain Man

has been captured.

Captured? Dang it, Ray.

This is my playroom,

my toys, my rules.

You sick

underdeveloped maniac.

Ow!

Henry, you're late.

Well, sorry, but kinda

in the middle of something.

There's something

more important

than my birthday party?

Uh...

Forty-eight hours from now

every baby in Swellview

will be a hideous monster.

Yeah, this is

pretty important.

Mmm...