All language subtitles for My.Boyfriends.Back.1993.1080p.BluRay.x264-MELiTE

[Boy]Allmylife I've been
in love with Missy McCloud.

That's her, back at her
first grade birthdayparty.

Even at the age ofsix,
Missy was the kind ofgirl...

that everyonejust liked
being around, me especially.

That's me in the back, with the
little red fireman's hat on.

And that is the most amazing
present in the world.

It took me almost a year
to save up enough to buy it.

And when she opened it, I was sure
she'd fall helplessly in love with me.

- It couldn't fail.
- I love it.

Johnny, don'tyou have
something for Missy?

[Johnny Narrating ]
This was it, my golden moment.

In front of everyone, the most
exotic creature alive...

would fall totally in love
with me, forever.

I had the confidence.
I had the gift.

- Well, son?
- But I wimped out.

[ Woman ]
All right, kids, cake time!

Come on!

[ Kids Laughing, Shouting ]

What are you
looking at, dirtbag?

Here, honey,
you sit there.

[Woman ]
Make a wish.

- Happybirthday!
- [Man ] That's mygirl.

[Johnny Narrating] Over the next
12years, I lusted after Missy.

She filled out
in all the right places...

the ones I'd been reading about
in the National Geographic.

The more she grew up, the more
helplessly in love I became.

That was the problem.

Well, you know what theysay:
love makes you do crazy things.

Well, my love for Missy drove me
to do the most unimaginable thing...

one human being can do to another,
but that comes later.

My story begins at the end of
my senioryear in high school...

on the historic day after Missy broke up
with Buck Van Patten...

her boyfriend
for the last sixyears.

I was ecstatic.

This day was the beginning
ofthe end ofmy life.

[Alarm Ringing ]

Damn right, 7:1 5.
[ Groans ]

Huh.

Doom.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

- What's your hurry there, son?
- Today I'm going to ask...

the most perfect girl
in the world to the prom.

Oh, you're going to ask
your own mother, eh?

[ Giggles ]
Oh, you.

Sit down, honey.
Breakfast is ready.

- No time, Mom.
- Always time for a good breakfast.

- You're absolutely right.
- A donut isn't breakfast.

It's fine, Ma.

Where's the vitamin C?
Where's the fiber?

[Johnny]
I'll eat on the way.

Well, thatway better not takeyou
across Mrs.Jones's yard, son.

We don'twant the neighbors
to think ill ofus.

- Hi, Mrs. Smith.
- # Yousayyou wannasee me#

- # But thenyou changeyourmind#
- Morning,Johnny.

- # Yousay we were meant to be#
- Morning, Mrs.Jones.
Hopeyou don't think ill of me.

# But it's the wrong time#

- Oh!
- [ Groans ]

# Maybe I'm not
the right girl foryou#

- # Because I work too hard
to believe it's true#
- Good morning.

- Hi.
- # But then I love
all the crazy things you do #

- # So I'm in limbo #
- Hi, Johnny.
- Hello.

# I'm dancin'in limbo #

# I ask youyes or no
You tell me maybe #

- [Man ] Good morning,John.
- [ Woman ] Beautiful day!

- # I'm sinking down so low
I think I'm in Hades #
- It certainly is.

# Well, Dante
never had it so good#

# 'Cause ifit's hell I'm in
at least it's understood#

# And I'd believe in heaven
ifI only could#

# But I'm in limbo #

# I'm dancin'in limbo #

# They don't know
what they want from me #

# And maybe I don't know
where I wanna be #

# But with the way things look
I know we're permanently #

- # Yeah, I'm in limbo #
- Slow it down,Johnny.

- Hi, Mrs. Applebaum.
- Hi,Johnny. How are you?

# Why don'tyou
shakeyour body down#

- [Bell Ringing]
- # We're gonna groove in ambiguity#

# Until we hit the ground##

[Johnny Narrating]
There she is.

That's Missy, all grown up.

And that's my friend Eddie.

He's a dick, but I like him.

Hey, Missy. I just wanted to say
you look really nice today...

in a physically perfect,
newly available kind ofway.

- Thanks.
- Extinguish all talking.

Nowwho can tell me
howheroes are created?

- Gerald?
- Th-That's a tricky question.

I don't think heroes are born,
I think they're made.

They're normal men faced with
extraordinary circumstances.

My personal hero
is Jane Goodall.

When shewas born she didn't know
anything about apes and their culture...

- but as she grew,
shestudiedreallyhard--
- Hey, Tiger.

- You talkin' to me?
- Mm-hmm.

I know thatyou've been really concerned
lately thatyou're still a virgin...

and you don't have
a date to the prom.

And thatyou're
sexually stupid.

But those things,
they mean nothing to me.

I loveyou just thewayyou are.

Oh, I see. I'm dreaming.

##[Marching]

Johnny! Dingle!

[Announcer] We're here
at the Fairviewgymnasium,
thesite ofJohnny Dingle's...

most ambitious
sexual challenge to date.

And there's
Johnny Dingle himself...

looking reallypumped up
for tonight's event.

The crowdjust loves this kid!

- It looks like he may
go all the way tonight!
- [ Starting Gun Fires ]

- And there he goes!
- [ Blows Whistle ]

- Oh, and a flag on the play!
- What?

Personal foul.
The challenger,Johnny Dingle...

is not using
a regulation-size unit.

He's disqualified!

- What doyou mean it's not regulation?
- [ Crowd Booing ]

This is the most pathetic
sexual fantasy I've ever seen.

[ Booing ]

Say good night, sex boy.

- [Bell Ringing]
- No!

Go get her.

[P.A. System ]Attention, students.
There will be a surprise fire drill--

- Missy.
- Yeah?

I, uh, I have something
I want to ask.

Okay, shoot.

- Are you trying to hypnotize me?
- No, no, um.

No, what I want
to askyou is this:

sinceyou're not
seeing Buck anymore...

I was wondering if
maybeyou'd like to go--

- [Buck ] Make way!
- ##[Marching]

Move.
Move!

Buck, what areyou doing?
What is this?

- I am so sorry. I'm an idiot.
- Well, no kidding.

You stand me up, and then
you don't even call me.

My car broke down.

I had towalk eight miles through
the rain to get to a telephone.

- When I got there,
you were alreadygone.
- Really?

I would walk on glass...

and eat donkeys foryou.

I can't live knowing
thatyou're not mine.

Will you go
to the prom with me?

Of course I will, silly.

I'm sorrytoo.
Let's not fight anymore.

[Bell Rings]

What's up, Dingle? Nice zit.

Seeyou,Johnny.

- What areyou lookin' at, dirtbag?
- Nothing.

Well, that blew ropy goat
chunks now, didn't it?

It's not over.

[JohnnyNarrating] That's when
I came up with theplan that
would change mylife forever.

Andit could have worked too.

It was swashbuckling,
romantic, daring.

- All right, let me see it.
Let me see it.
- This is absurd.

[Johnny Narrating]
Unfortunately, it depended on Eddie.

All right, give me all your money.

That was it?
That was menacing?

All right, news flash.
This just in,Johnny.

Missy is going to the prom
with Buck. You got it?

Look, you pretend to kill her,
I save her life...

she thinks I'm a hero, ditches Buck
and goes to the prom with me.

How sweet is that?

This is desperate
and this is sick.

I thinkyou should
get some therapy. I do.

[JohnnyNarrating] With thesteadfast
support ofmybest friend...

and the cool cunning
ofa master tactician...

I swung into action.

## [ Radio ]

- Hi,Johnny.
- Hey, there.

[ Cash Register Beeping ]

- That it?
- Um--

- Anything else?
- Yeah, um, these.

Freeze! Don't move!
Give me your money!

Give me your mon--
[ Toy Gun Firing ]

Give meyour money.
Come on, come on--

[CarApproaching]

What the hell doyou
thinkyou're doing?

Uh, nothing.

- Areyou gonna rob this store?
- Uh, yes, yes, I was.

Butyou can rob it ifyou want.
I can come back tomorrow.

- I can always come back tomorrow.
- Give meyour mask.

Okay, we have one flyswatter,
one pair of red, fuzzy dice...

yellow army tank.

Anything else? Chinese checkers,
a birdhouse, perhaps?

All right, give me all your money,
or I'll blowyour goddamm brains out!

- Hey! Don't talkto her like that!
- What?

Who the hell doyou
thinkyou are, buddy?

- Excuse me, doyou have a gun?
- No.

- Then shut up!
- [ Whispers ] Not so over the top.

What?

- Shit.
- Let's go.

Damn right, "let's go."

Let's go!

[ Cocks Gun ]

Look out!

[ Glass Cracking ]

Johnny?
Johnny?

Johnny?
Oh!

Oh, my god.
I'm not dreaming.

Would you like to go
to the prom with me?

Sure.

Great.

[ Missy Gasps ]

##[Pipe Organ]

Oh,Johnny, areyou lost?
Areyou alone?

Ifyoufallinyouremptyforestand
you cryout, will no one hearyou?

We here today willjoinyou
in such a short time.

We will missyou dearly.

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.

What once was,
is no longer. Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

[ Howls ]

[ Father] Good-bye, son.
Be nice to God.

I madeyou bologna and mustard
with the edges cut off...

just thewayyou like it.

You eat all ofit,
doyou hear me?

You hearyour mother?

Come on, Marge.

Good-bye,Johnny.

I wish we could have
gotten to know each other.

[ Spitting ]

[Clock Chiming, Owl Hooting]

[Animal Howling]

[ Cat Hissing]

[Howling Continues ]

[ Rat Squeaking ]

Oh, hi there.
I'm Murray.

- Murray Brickman.
-Johnny Dingle.

Nice to meetyou,
Johnny Dingle.

Oh, look atyou.
You're a mess.

Just crawled out
ofthe grave, did you?

- I guess so.
- Isn't that something.

Been a long time since anybody
came back from the dead.

I think the last time
was Thanksgiving, 1 5 years ago.

Hey, wait a minute. Did you say
come backfrom the dead?

Yes. You're now one
ofthe undead,Johnny Dingle.

Doomed to spend the rest ofyour days
shunned bythe human race.

- Whoa, whereyou going?
- Home.

No, you're not. That's what I'm trying
to tell you,Johnny Dingle.

You can't ever leave
the cemetery again.

I'm not gonna live in the cemetery
the rest ofmy life.

I got a date Friday night.

I'm very sorry. You'll
have to breakthe date.

You're crazy. I'm going to the prom
with Missy McCloud.

I'm sure she's very nice,
butyou still can't leave.

Only death awaits you
among the living.

- I am among the living.
- You're undead.

Hey, look,just because
I crawled out ofa grave...

doesn't mean
I'm a friggin' zombie.

It does ifyou were dead
beforeyou went into the grave.

Okay, look, I admit
maybe I got shot...

- but I didn't die.
- You're very unreasonable.

Excuse me. Where doyou
thinkyou're going?

How could I be dead?
I've never felt better in my life.

- [ Chuckles ]
- I'm in love.

- I feel great.
- No,J-Johnny!

- Ifyou leave, you'll--
- I'll what?

You'll find out.

- Hi, Mom.
- Mmm.

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi,Johnny.

[ Parents Screaming ]

[Dog Barking]

You know, son, your mother and I
and the ambulance driver...

and the coroner
and the embalmer...

were all pretty much convinced
thatyou were dead.

I got better.

Huh.
Well, welcome home, son.

- Thanks.
- Areyou hungry? Doyou
want something to eat?

Gee, there's a lot offood
left over from the funeral.

[Yawning ]

[Yawning ]

Oh, my god.

I am dead.

[Alarm Clock Ringing, Groans]

Johnny, breakfast is ready.

- [Dog Barking]
- [Johnny] Coming, Mom.

No thanks, Mom.

- Hmm, you look a little
pale this morning, son.
- I'm dead, Dad.

How about some eggs?

- Not hungry.
- Not hungry, hesays. Didyou hearhim?

- Haveyou got a temperature?
- Of course not.

I just told you,
I'm dead.

Well, I'm calling Emille Bronson.

I am not going to Dr. Bronson.
I'm not that desperate.

Ho, ho, ho, ho! I guess I know oneyoung
man who's not going to school today.

Hello, Dr. Bronson.
This is Marge Dingle.

Dr. Bronson, the reason I called
is our son,Johnny...

died the other dayand I was wondering
ifyou could take a look at him.

Wouldyou like
to talk to him?

Sure.
Johnny?

- Eddie Conners?
- Yeah, I'm here.

Johnny Dingle? Oh.

[Students Gasping]

Hi, buddy. Hey!

Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Cooper.
You wouldn't believe
the trouble I had getting here.

I would believe it,
and I'm not impressed.

- Youget one demerit.
- But--

Just becauseyou're dead does
not mean thatyou can come
waltzing in here when you like.

- John Craig?
- Present.

- Linda Given.
- Here.

[Bell Ringing]

- [ Girl] Hi.
- Hi.

- Hey, Missy, wait a minute.
-Johnny, hi.

Uh, listen, you know,
I think it's really great...

thatyou're back from the dead
and all, but I've got gym.

- But wait a minute.
- [Girl] Is that him?
- Yeah!

[Eddie]Look,
maybeshe's uncomfortable...

because, you know,
you are recently deceased.

- Eddie, come on, be serious.
- I am serious,Johnny.

I'm just dead. It's not like
I'm an asshole or anything.

I didn't say
you were an asshole.

It's just that some people
might consider being dead
somewhat... unfashionable.

- That's really shallow ofyou, Eddie.
- Shut up and eatyourfood.

God! I can't eat this.
It's disgusting.

You neverthought itwas
disgusting before.

This is totally different. They must
have done something weird to it.

Ifyou don'twant it, I'll eat it.

- [ Screams ]
- What?

What doyou mean, "What?" You just
tried to take a bite out ofmy arm!

Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie.
Itwas just gonna be a little bite.

Johnny, you shouldn't
be taking any bites.

- Here, let me--
- No, no, no!

You just get the hell
away from my arm.

Seeyou.

- Missy, hey.
- [ Groans ]

I just want to know what time
I should pickyou up forthe prom.

Um, you shouldn't.

- What doyou mean?
- I have to go.

Wait a minute. Areyou mad 'cause
I tried to take a bite out of Eddie?

- Oh, no, of course not.
- Then what's wrong?

You're not breaking
our date, areyou?

- I came back from the dead
for this date.
- Well, gee,Johnny...

it's just, I really didn't
expectyou to make it.

Well, I wouldn't have asked
ifl couldn't make it.

I'm sorry.

[Guy]Hey, look,
it's that deadkid.

It's because I'm dead, isn't it?

- That's whyyou won't go out with me.
- Don't insult me.

You're afraid ofwhat
people might say, aren'tyou?

Behind your back, everybodywhispering,
"There goes Missywith the dead kid."

Look, that has nothing
to dowith it, okay?

I only said I would go to the prom
with you becauseyou were dying.

- I'm Buck's girlfriend.
- All right then,
forget the prom for now.

- How about a movie? Johnny.
- Hi there.

- Buck, hi.
- Hi.

Dead little snot.

You thinkyou can hang out
with us decent living folks
likeyou're still alive?

Why is everyone making such a big deal
about this? I've only been dead one day.

We'rewatching you, dead boy.
We don't likeyour kind.

- You're stinkin' up thewhole school.
- Chuck!

What are people gonna say? My girlfriend
hanging outwith a decaying kid.

I don't really carewhat people think
and he's actually a nice guy...

- so cut it out.
- Let's go.

I better not ever catch you
with that dead kid again.

I got a reputation.

Eight o'clock.

[Johnny Narrating]
This was it.

This was the beginning
ofa dream come true.

I picked her up early.
I hadall the right moves.

I was like Tom Cruise,
only dead.

The stage was set for the most
romantic evening in history.

- [ Movie Narrator]
... womb ofhell itself.
- [ Groaning ]

Eternally seeking the flesh
ofthe living.

Bloodthirstyzombies
howling foryour flesh.

Oh, I 'm sorry.
I 'm sorry.

Excuse me.

Thanks.

- What are these?
-J u J ubes.

Really? Are they good?
I've never had one.

Never?
You've never had a Ju Jube?

- Say, isn't that Buck's girl?
- It sure is.

- What's she doing here
with the dead kid?
- I don't know, man.

They're good, right?
But what's the problem?

- They're stuck in my teeth.
- Right, right.

- So whatyou do is take
a drink ofyour soda.
- Why?

Just take a drink. Trust me.

There's something wonderful happening
in your mouth now, right?

[ Giggles ]

I can't believe thatyou came up
with a whole system forthis.

[Zombies Howling, Soda Spills]

- Oh, god, I'm sorry. Let me, um--
- No, it's okay.

Bloodthirsty zombies
at the foot ofyour bed...

howling foryour flesh.

Zombies, like the one right there!

You know, it's terrible thewaythose
zombie movies twist the truth like that.

There's a lot ofprejudice
against the undead.

##[Radio]

Can I touchyou?

Uh-huh.

Your skin feels different
than most guys.

- Does that hurt?
- Not much.

Can you even feel it?

Uh-huh.

Can you feel that?

Yeah, I can feel that.

I likeyou,Johnny.

Really? Can I kiss you?

Uh-huh.

# Readyornot once I getstarted I#

# Ijust can'tstop the fever#

# Itkeeps comin'back formore#

# I can'tstop the fever#

# It's burning down my door ##

Oh, god.

[ Both Panting ]

I don't know what it is aboutyou now,
Johnny, butyou drive me crazy.

Oh?

- Missy?
- Hmm?

Oh, I knowyou're already
going with Buck to the prom...

- but I was thinking that maybe--
- [ Ripping ]

Whatwas that?

Your ear.

What?

- Your earfell off.
- Oh, shit.

Is thatyou, sweetheart?

Uh, yes, Dad!
Here, takeyour ear.

Oh, shit.

But--

[Johnny Narrating] I heardsomeone
myage is supposed to be comfortable...

with the way their body changes,
but given the circumstances...

this was too much.

- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
- Dr. Bronson?

- [ Buzzes Again ]
- Dr. Bronson?

- Yes?
- I 'm dead.

[ Sighs ]
Okay, well, you're dead...

which is unusual because we
don't normally see this much
activity in a dead person.

- Let's look atyour symptoms.
- I'm decaying.

Oh, good.
Symptom number one: decay.

All right.
Is thatyour ear, then?

It fell offabout 20 minutes ago.

May I see it?

It's still in good shape.
It's just not on my head.

Hello? Hello?
I'm just teasing.

- May I keep it?
- No way!

Well, I need skin samples
so I can run some tests.

Well... here.

- [ Skin Ripping ]
- Well, that's very disgusting,
but I guess that'll do fine.

Isn't there, um, some kind ofmedicine
I could takewhileyou lookat that?

- A shot or something?
- To avoid decaying?

- Yes!
- No.

Everything that is dead
eventually decays.

Oh, my god.

Wait, wait.
I do think maybe I--

- Aha!
- "Aha" what?

I think I can helpyou
with that ear.

- You want me to glue it on?
- Well, it's either that
orthe staple gun.

Okay, fine.
This takes care of my ear.

What should I do
about the rest ofme?

You reallywant to knowwhat
I'd do in your situation?

[JohnnyNarrating] That's when
hesentme to Maggie Benson.

The doctorsaidthat
at the rate I was decaying...

I'dbe dead, really dead,
by tomorrow.

- So Maggie was my only choice.
- [ Knocking ]

Local legend had it that her
husband came back from the dead
1 5 years ago,just like me.

So ifanyone could help me with my
decaying thing, she'd be the one.

Hello?

Anybody here?

[ Screams ]

[ Maggie ]
Oh, my dear boy.

You're a zombie.

So it ripped right off
in her mouth, did it?

Yes, ma'am.
Right off.

[ Laughing ] That must have been
so embarrassing.

You have no idea.

She must be quite a gal.

She is.

But I don't know ifshe'll even
see me afterwhat happened.

Have a little faith.

Things aren't so bad.

No, they're pretty bad.

I just found out I'm gonna be
really dead bytomorrow.

I was told you knew how to
stop that from happening.

Oh,Johnny, I--

I haven't talked about zombies
for a long, long time.

I need to live long enough to go to the
prom tomorrow night. I'll do anything.

- Oh, no, don't be so quick to--
- Anything.

Oh, my dear boy,
you don't understand.

There is something you can do...

but it is a terrible thing.

Tell me.

[ Sighing ]

Flesh ofthe living.

The moreyou eat,
the more timeyou have.

Areyou crazy?

There's nothing else
you can do.

There's got to be.

Look, I almost took a bite out
ofmyfriend Eddie and itwas
such thewrong thing to do.

He's very mad.

- A bitewill giveyou about 20 minutes.
- Twenty minutes?

- I needa whole day.
- Then you'll have to eat a little more.

- How much more?
- Oh, mygoodness, it's hard to say.

An arm, a leg,
a stomach, a foot.

It's not an exactscience,
you know.

What kind offriggin' nut areyou,
tellin' me to go out and eat people?

I'm not telling you
to eat people.

I'm saying eating the
flesh ofthe living is...
buying you a little more time...

but it's an awfulprice topay.

Well, it doesn't matter because
I'm not eating anybody!

Well, then you'll be
dead bytomorrow.

- How the hell doyou know?
-John Dingle, I know.

Well, I'm gonna find a way.

[LiquidBoiling]

[DoctorBronson]
I have acquiredaskinsample...

fromJohnny Dingle,
17 andazombie.

In order toprevent him
from completely decaying...

I must use his flesh
to create a serum...

that will actually reverse the natural
process of decay we all suffer...

as we grow older.

It stands to reason that his zombie
flesh should contain within it...

the genetic code for the reanimation
of dead tissue.

- [ Explosion ]
- Ergo, life after death.

[ Knocking ]

[ Knocki ng ]

Hi, J ohnny.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Oh, I just came by
to see how you were.

How's your ear?

Fine. Good as new.

Let me see.

Wow! You know, you can hardly
even tell it ripped offyour head.

You think so? I was feeling
a little insecure about it.

[ Sighs ]
You know,Johnny...

you're a really
good-looking guy.

- You think so?
- Absolutely.

A little style in your--

- Oh, shit.
- What?

[ Nervous Laugh ]
Sorry.

Oh, that's all right.
It's notyourfault.

Here, let me see ifl can just--

You smell really nice.

- Thanks.
- [ Sneezes ]

Um, my--

I'll get it.

Got it.

Be sureyou get it on straight.

Oh, it's on straight.

There. Much better.

Listen,Johnny,
it's getting kind oflate.

I should probably be going soyou can
lay down and let that nose harden.

No, no, wait, wait, wait.
Don't leave, don't leave.

- I want to talk toyou--
- Let go!

Johnny, I am not even gonna look.
Just get this thing off of me.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I'll seeyou tomorrow.

No, wait! Everything's fine.
Don't leave. Minor setback.

Johnny, look atyou!

I'm fine. Nothing else
is gonna fall off.

[Creaking, Falling]

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Screams ]

Thankyou, God.
Thankyou, God.

[Mother]Shake a leg,
Johnny! Breakfast!

- [Dog Barking]
- Mom, I told you I can't
eat that stuff anymore.

There's got to be
someone I can eat.

[ Stomach Growling ]

[ Stomach Growling ]

- Back off, dead boy.
- Sorry.

- Hi,Johnny.
- Oh, hi.

[Missy]Doyourememberlastnight
when we were in the car...

- and your ear-- you know, it--
- Fell off?

Right. Well, that got me to wondering.

What ifyour other
earwere to fall off?

Uh-huh.

Well, then, what ifother stuff
started falling off.

- I don't know, like
your arms or something.
- Yeah.

Well, then ifstuff
just kept falling off...

- pretty soon--
- I'd just be a little pile ofstuff.

Right.

Sowhat I was wondering is ifsomething
like that might actually happen?

Ifit did wouldyou
feel different towards me?

Is thatwhat's gonna
happen toyou,Johnny?

It's--
It's a definite possibility.

Oh, god.

You are so different from any
other guy I have ever known.

Buckwould kill me ifhe found out
I was going outwith you.

You're decaying and--

Still, god, I wish
you weren't dead.

Me too.

You know, I've never kissed
a dead guy beforeyou,Johnny.

- Gotyou!
- Geez!

Damn it! Holy--

Come here, you stinkin'
dead ya-hoo toucher!

- Buck, stop him.
- [Chuck ] Come here!

Hey, come on.

Chuck, you don't understand.

Come on, Chuck, let's sit down
and just hash this thing out.

I'm gonna kill you, dead boy!

- [Chuck] Come here!
- Maybewe should, uh--

Come here, you stinkin'
dead ya-hoo toucher!

Chuck, look.

Chuck.

Chuck!
Chuck, let's um--

Chuck.
Chuck.

- Chuck, let's discuss this.
- Okay.

[ Laughing ]

- Uh-oh.
- Huh?

Chuck?

You okay?

[ Stomach Growls ]

I am really, truly sorry
about this, Chuck.

There's just no otherway.

Oh! Oh, no!

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Youknow, colleges look
at this sort ofthing!

- Oh.
-Johnny?

Oh, great.

Oh, my god!
How could you?

You ate Chuck!

Not all ofhim.

- [Siren Wailing]
- Hello, this is Brenda Bodine
and we're coming toyou live...

from Fairview High School wherewejust
received word that some sort oftragic--

- Excuse me. Sheriff McCloud.
- I'm gonna have to askyou all--

We just received word that some
sort oftragedy has happened
in the high school today.

- Uh, no, nothing unusual.
- I was referring to the slaughter.

- Right. Well, therewas that.
- Sheriff--

Earlier today one ofthe students
got badly killed.

We've heard reports that
the murderer might have been
1 7-year-old Johnny Dingle.

I'm going to make
an official statement here.

Johnny Dingle is dead. Okay?

Yes, but then this wouldn't
be the first time...

that someone has come back
from the dead in Fairview...

to wreak havoc
on an innocent victim.

What is a zombie and how can you tell if
there's one living in your neighborhood?

- [Intercom Buzzes]
- Ooh!

- [Woman]Emille?
- What is it?

- You have apatient.
- I'm busy.

It's Chuck Bronski.
He was eaten in school today.

All right, all right,
I'll have a look at him.

But while I'm doing that, I wantyou
to go out and find me a live chicken.

- A chicken?
-Just do it!

All right.

Hello, Chuck. My name is Doctor Bronson.
How arewe doing today?

Isee.

Chuck, you've suffered
a lot ofbleeding...

and there's an ax in your head...

and it appears that someone
has eaten your stomach.

Pulse is a little lowerthan I'd like.

Let's just take a look
atyour retinal response.

Oh, hi. You must be
Big Chuck Bronski.

Hello.

[Big Chuck]
Oh, mygod!

[DoctorBronson]I havesome
badnews. Yourboyis verysick.

He's lost a massive
amount ofblood...

and his pulse and retinal
response are poor...

and, as you can see, there's
an ax sticking out ofhis head.

- He's not sick, you idiot, he's dead!
- Oh, everybody's a doctor!

You think maybe I could
make the diagnosis?

- [ Groaning ]
- It's like somebody ate him!

What kind ofa monsterwould do that
to another human being?

- Mom!
- [Dog Barks]

- Here.
- I have a big problem.

-John, you have a visitor.
- Oh, hey, Eddie.

Look, about today, that wasn't
entirely my fault.

Oh, it's not just today.
It's yesterdaytoo.

- What happened yesterday?
- You tried to eat my arm, pal!

Oh, I thinkyou owe
someone an apology.

I'm sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.

Just--Just don't try
to eat me anymore, all right?

- I promise.
- Still buds?

- Huh?
- Yeah, still buds.

Ah, that's what I like to hear.

Hi, honey.

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, son, did you by any chance
murder a boy in school today?

- It wasn't murder. It was an accident.
- Well, I hopeyou didn't eat him.

- [ Parents Make Kissing Sounds ]
- 'Cause lunch is in five minutes...

and I picked up something special
foryou at the supermarket.

Oh, boy!

- Hi.
- Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

- Mmm!
- You picked up a little kid!

[Mother]Am I wrong, or doyou
have to eat the flesh ofthe living?

Mom, I absolutely
can't do that anymore!

Well, there are hungry people all over
the world who'd be thrilled to eat him.

Yeah, my mom says that
to me all the time.

[Johnny]Come on,
justsendhim home!

- [Doorbell Chimes]
- Uh, I'll get it.

Oh, shit!

[ Humming ]

- Mr. Dingle?
- Yes?

I understand thatyour boy
is a zombie.

-Mm-hmm, yes, that's right.
-Well, he killed and ate my boytoday...

so me and some ofthe other guys
decided to come over and talk to him.

Uh, hold on. Honey!

- There's somepeople here
who want to talk toJohnny.
- Invite them in!

Uh, I don't want them
to think ill ofus.

Well, uh, oh!
Honey, this is the father...

ofthe boythatJohnny
murdered in school today.

I know how difficult
it is to lose a son.

We lostJohnnyjust
a couple ofdays ago.

Yes, ma'am.
I'm still reeling.

So is there someway
we could see the boy?

Sure. I think he's hiding
in the closet.Johnny!

Come on out, sweetie!

Are theygone?

Whoa! Hey, quit it!

- Oh, wow.
- Will you cut it out?

- Ooh, wicked, awesome.
- [Father] Uh, fellas...

Johnny's already dead, you see...

so, um, you're gonna have
a hard time killing him.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hi, little Chuck.

- Little Chuck?
- This is little Chuck?

- What areyou doing with
my one remaining son?
- Nice going, Ma.

Daddy, that deadman
triedto eat me.

- Stop it!
- Thatwon'twork, you idiots!

- But this will.
- [Mother]Excuse me.

- You wouldn't shoot me.
- I might.

-Jesus!
- Nowget out ofmyhouse...

or I'll clipyour manhood.

All right, Ma!

[Big Chuck] Come on, let's get out
ofhere. Let's go, little Chuck.

- All right, Daddy.
- We'll be back.

[Johnny Narrating]
It was time to stop running.

Time to summon up the courage that
had eluded me for 1 2 straightyears.

Time to complete
my life's mission.

[ Football Bangs On Floor]

It was still there.

Waiting patiently for this moment.
Gathering a little dust, sure...

but otherwise... untouched.

I had the confidence.
I had the gift.

This time
I was definitely ready.

[ Cars Driving By ]

[ Brandi ] I was actually not looking
forward to going to the prom.

And then my mom found this place
where they dye your shoes
in the exact same shade...

as your fabric... and they're
also dyeing my purse.

Can I tellyou... I am so relieved that
you are going to the prom with Buck.

I mean... I heard this really
nasty rumor thatyou might be
going with that dead kid.

Oh... no. We just went
to the movies together.

He died for me. I figured it was the
least that I could do. N-No big deal.

# IfI was trueyou'dbe a lie#

# IfI was blueyou'dbe thesky##

Hi.

-Johnny, please,just leave.
- No, you have to listen to me.

How canyou expect me to listen toyou
after whatyou didto Chuck?

- I wanna talk toyou about that.
- There is nothing you can say
to make things better...

because you ate someone,
do you understand that?

Wait a minute! Areyou afraid I might
eatyou? Is that the problem?

Areyou kidding me?
Will you just leave me alone!

You may not know this, Missy,
but I ate Chuck foryou.

God, my boyfriend
won't even pump gas for me.

What?

Oh, geez, Miss,
I didn't wanna eat him...

but itwas the onlyway I could live
long enough to go to the prom with you.

You ate someonejust to go
to the prom with me?

I died foryou! I came back
from the dead foryou.

- I loveyou.
- [Girls Sighing]

Come on, let's go.

- I don't understand,Johnny.
- What?

How... you can love me so much?
Howyou can do all these things for me?

By god, ifit ain't the zombie out
with a livin' woman.

- He's mighty proud.
- Go get Chuck.

Look, Miss...

other people might wantyou
becauseyou're pretty and popular...

and theywanna
be seen with you.

I wantyou
because I loveyou.

- And I always have.
- [ Woman ] It's not natural.

- What's this?
- Open it.

I've been tryin' to giveyou
this since the first grade.

[ Gasps ]
Oh.

Youare the kindest, smartest,
most beautifulgirl I've everknown.

And, uh--
And I would die happy...

ifyou would dancejust one dance
with me at the prom.

I would love to go
to the prom with you.

This mornin' he eats your boy
and now he's out there kissin'
on the McCloud girl.

[FootstepsApproaching]

- Hey, what areyou doing?
- Shut up, you little zombie slut!

- I am not a slut.
- Leave her alone.

- She's a good girl.
- Good girls don't hang
around with dead boys.

- Tramp!
- Zombie lover.

- Whore ofthe undead.
- [Buck]Enough!

It's not her fault.

Shewas taken in
by his wily decaying ways.

-That's not true, Buck.
-You don't even know whatyou're saying.

I'll kill him.
I swear I'll kill him.

- Daddy.
- What the hell is goin' on here?

Johnny Dingle's
what's goin' on.

Johnny Dingle is dead. Right?

Yes, sir.

He ate my son and he's takin'
your daughterto the prom.

So I'dsaythat'spretty
damnedactive fora deadguy.

I demand a zombie burning!
I wantvengeance for my son.

Yeah, you're damn right!

Missy,Johnny,
let's get in the car.

- [ Crowd Chattering ]
- [Man]Something's gotta be done.

[Big Chuck] Yougot untilsundown,
Sheriff, to banish that abomination.

After that...
he's ours.

- Why, hello, Sheriff.
- Well...

to what do we owe
the pleasure ofyour visit?

I was hoping to have a word
with you about Johnny.

I think maybe it's time for the Dingles
and the McClouds to have a little chat.

-Well, this just looks wonderful, ma'am.
-[Dog Barks]

Let's all dig in.

[ Laughs ]

John, honey, I wonder, could you get us
some butterforthe croissants?

- Sure, Mom.
- Thankyou, dear.

[ Laughs ]

[ Gasps ] Mom?

Excuse me.

- What the hell is this?
- A body.

I know it's a body.

- Who put it here?
- I did.

- You did?
- I thoughtyou might like a snack.

A snack? What are we,
the Manson family now?

Where did you get this body?

- Found it.
- You found it?

I was at the mortuary. They're
practically giving them away.

Mom, they don't give bodies
away... at the mortuary.

- I sure like beans.
- [SheriffMcCloud Laughs]

- Everything okay, then?
- Right as rain.

Mm-hmm. Then let's get right to it,
Johnny. I knowyou killed Chuck Bronski.

He didn't kill him, Daddy,
hejust ate him.

[SheriffMcCloud]
That's enough, young lady.
I'll have no moresmart talk out ofyou!

Daddy, what about those guys at the
Donner Pass who ate their friends?

Nobody got mad at them.

- Would you excuse me
for a moment, Sheriff?
- Ofcourse.

You know what Big Chuck Bronski
and the townspeople would like
to do toyour son?

They'd like to break out some torches
and have themselves a zombie barbecue.

- What do you want me to do?
- I'll makeyou a deal.

- You leave town right now,
- [Clothes Ripping]

quietly, never show
yourface around here again...

andI willkeep the townspeople
offyou untilyou get away.

- This sounds like a good deal.
- [Johnny] Okay, but only...

ifl can escort
Missy to the prom first.

You are not taking my daughter to the
prom, you stupid dead son-of-a-bitch!

- I am going with him, Daddy.
- You are not going, and that is final!

You are being so unfair.
What doyou have againstJohnny
besides the fact that he's dead?

- You need another reason?
- What areyou so afraid of?

Thatyou'll eat her,
for one thing.

Oh, that's crazy!
I would never eat Missy!

- He didn't eat us.
- He didn't eat the dog.

See?

Look, you little tough guy...

you get outta town now
or I will personally kill you again.

- You don't frighten me?
- Oh, no?

- And you can't stop me?
- Really?

- [Bell Rings]
- And what can I get formadame?

- Duck, please.
- Oh, tres bien. And for the monsieur?

I will have the T-bone steak.

Excellent choice.
And for the lepetit monsieur...

may I suggest
the delicious buffet?

Getyourfood, honey.

You just don't knowwhen to stop,
doyou, you miserable little shit?

- This is the buffet?
- You tell me?

Is there anyone in myfamily
you don't plan to eat today?

- I didn't do this.
I'm not gonna eatyou.
- 'Causeyou're a coward.

- You shut up. Shut up!
- Coward. Coward.

Oh-ho, you're pretty tough when
it comes to eatin' high schoolers.

When it comes to chowin'
down on a real man, you're quite
the littlewussy, ain'tya?

Listen, pal,
you say one more thing--

- Wussy. Wussy.
- That's it.

-Johnny, don't do that. Oooh.
- [Bone Crunching]

- Not so easy, is it? There's
a lot oflivin' in that foot.
- [Munching On Foot]

- There, smart-ass.
- Foot's easy.

There's nothing on a foot. Now,
calf's a different story; all muscle!

We'll just see about that.

- Oh, you can kiss that
calf muscle good-bye, fat man.
- [Munching On Calf]

[Munching, Crunching Continues ]

I'm stuffed.

You call that eating? A herd
of guppies could've picked me
clean in halfthe time.

Come on, it looks yummy. Yummy.

All right.

- [WaterBubbling In Stomach]
- [ Gasps ]

-Johnny!
- Missy!

Daddywas right; you were
gonna eat me, weren'tyou?

Don't be ridiculous,
I would never eatyou.

And why not? What, I'm not
good enough foryou?

Johnny...

I thinkyou should try.

Come on...
take a little bite.

Don'tyou understand?
I loveyou.

And I loveyou,Johnny.

That's why I wantyou...
to eat me.

Don'tyou wanna eat me?

Well--

- [Mrs. Dingle ]Johnny? Johnnyhoney?
- Mom?

Areyou all right, son?

- Yeah.
- You don't lookvery good.

Where's Missy?

## ["Abilene"Performed
ByStandard Fruit]

[KnockingAt Door]

Come in.

Why aren'tyou dressed?

I'm not going.

Oh, sureyou are,
honey, come on.

Hey, Buck's gonna
be here anyminute.

I am not going to the prom
with Buck, Daddy.

The only person I want to go
to the prom with is Johnny.

Damn it, Missy!

Now, honey, I know thatyou care
about this boy, but...

in a couple ofmonths you are
going to go offto college...

and you'll meet a niceyoung man
who's still alive.

- Won't that be better?
- I don't want a living boy,
I wantJohnny.

Get dressed! You are going
to the prom with Buck!

- I am not going to the prom--
- And that's final!

Johnny, areyou okay?
I'm really sorry about my dad.

It's okay. Look, ifyou still wanna
gowith me, put on your gown...

- and I'll carryyou down the trellis.
- Okay.

[Trellis Cracking]

Aaa-oooh!

Johnny?
Johnny?

Oh,Johnny.

- My, uh-- My muscles
are starting to decay.
- Oh.

-Johnny.
- [ Grunting ]

[ Missy] Here, grab my hand.
[ Grunting ]

- [ Grunting Continues ]
- [JohnnyGroaning ]

[ Both Panting ]

-Areyou kind ofdying now?
- [ Panting ] Kind of.

Maybe this'll help.

[MissyIn Dream]
I wantyou... to eatme.

[ Echoing ] She is verytender
this evening.

Eat me.

Don'tyou wanna eat me?

- Aaah! [ Panting ]
- Oh, my god.

[ Laughs ]
It's okay,Johnny.

- Oh, my god, I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay. I don't care.

- I can't takeyou to the prom.
- No,Johnny.

- Don't be silly. It's fine.
- I have to go. I have to go, Missy.

-Johnny, no.
- [Door Opening]

Buck called.
He'll be here in a moment.

Get dressed...
and come downstairs.

Oh... I can't watch.

- The chicken... feels no pain.
- [ Chicken Clucks ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Clucking ]

- Now, this won't hurt a bit.
- [ Clucking Continues ]

- Emille.
- [ Clucking ]

Get in there. Okay.

- [ Machine Hissing ]
- [Chicken Shrieking]

- [Popping Noise]
- [Machine Beeping]

[ Sighs ]

- [ Chick Chirping ]
- Yes. Itworks.

- Emille. Oh, I'm so proud ofyou.
- Itworks.

Oh, Shelley, I'm about to save
a young man's life. A moment
every physician dreams of.

Hopeyou won't think harshly ofme,
darling, but I'm having a thought.

- Quick, the solution.
- Supposewe obtain a sizable
quantity ofthe zombie flesh.

A few arms, a few legs.
He's almost dead already.

- I don't followyou.
- Then ifwe took the flesh...

- [Water Boiling]
- and mixed up a really big batch
ofyourwonderful serum--

The fountain ofyouth; cosmetic
surgerywithout the surgery.

Shelley, nothing must prevent me
from honoring a promise
I made to a young man...

in terrible, terrible trouble.

I thinkwe could make
a shit load ofmoney.

- What the hell areyou doin'?
- No, no, what the hell areyou doin'?

I'm leaving. I can't take Missyto
the prom, I just tried to eat her.

- Well, then get readyto say,
" Eddie, you're a genius."
- Why?

Because I solved your problem.
I know howyou can go with
Missywithout eating her.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm. My plan is
so perfect, so simple.

- What is it? Yes!
- You ready?

Eat Buck.

- Areyou crazy?
- Let's look at this logically.

Your biggest fear is that
ifyou go the prom with Missy,
you might end up eating her.

Not ifyou're alreadyfull.

- Eddie, come on.
- Ifyou eat Buck, Missy's gonna
needa date to theprom.

You'll be full,
andyou'll live longer.

- Would you be serious?
- I am serious.

I'm very, very serious.
Johnny, you're already going
to Hell for all eternity, so...

- [ Whispering ] what doyou care?
- [CarDoor Opens]

##["The Fever"
PerformedByDanny Tate]

- God, I hate that guy.
- Eat him.

Eat him quick. Put on his tux and then
honk the horn. Missywill come out...

you two willgo theprom
together, Missy'sparents will
thinkshe's goin' with Buck.

It couldn't be more perfect. Let's jump
him on three. It's brilliant. One...

two...

- three!
- No, I can't.

Hi.

Foryou.

# Talkin'about the best inside ofme#

# Talkin'about the best inside ofme#

# Talkin' 'bout the wayyou
Talkin' 'bout the wayyou#

# Talkin' 'bout the way
you look at me now ##

I have to go now.

I can't trust myself
to be around people anymore.

- Look, I don't care ifyou're a--
- No, this is it.

- I won't ever seeyou again.
You know that, right?
- Yes.

- You're the worst friend I've ever had.
- You too.

Just don't forget me, Eddie...
after I'm gone, please?

-Just don't forget me.
- I won't.

[ Car Horn Honking]

[ Honking Continues ]

I have wonderful news.
Ask me what?

- Would you come on already?
- I'm saving your life.

Hop in. We're going to my lab.

- Go get Missy.
- Okay.

##[Dance]

[ People Chattering ]

[ Girl ]
Oh, it looks so cool.

I guessyou'd rather
be herewith the dead kid.

His name isJohnny.

Ifyou like him so much, then
why didn'tyou gowith him?

I did wanna gowith him.
Hejust didn'twanna gowith me.

-Areyou telling me thatyou
got dumped bythe dead kid?
- [Eddie]Missy, wait!

- What doyou want, dick-weed?
- I need to talktoyou aboutJohnny.

-Johnny doesn'twanna bewith me.
- Of course he does.

Hewas just afraid that ifhewas
with you, he might end up eating you.

You have two seconds to get out
ofmyface, ass-wipe.

Then, I'll ripyour spine
up through your mouth.

- Oh.
- ##[Continues]

- [ Grunts ]
- Oh.

- Wow!
- Wow.

- [ Laughs ]
- Where's Johnny?

Getting saved.

[JohnnyNarrating] What Missy
and Eddie didn't know was that...

across town
at that verymoment...

Dr. Bronson was hitting a level of
weirdness I had never dreamed possible.

- Why are you strapping me down?
- Standard operating procedure.

- [ Grunts ]
- Will it be painful?

Well, define "pain."

- Oh, god.
- To saveyou...

I'm gonna have to borrow like
a few cells from your body.

- How many?
- Oh,just a few. Maybe 40 pounds.

40 pounds! Areyou crazy?
I can't spare 40 pounds offlesh!

- All right, 30.
- No, not 30, not 20--

- Don't be such a baby!
- Well, you kick in 40 pounds offlesh.

Johnny, I'm not the dead guy. Don'tyou
thinkyou're being a little irrational?

Would you explain how
cutting 40 pounds offme...

- is gonnasave mylife?
- It's not.

- It's not?
- No.

- Then how does it help me?
- It doesn't.

- It doesn't?
- I may not have found
a way to save you...

but I have discovered a way
to useyour remarkable flesh...

to create a serum...

to rejuvenate old skin to make people
feel younger and lookyounger.

Cosmetic surgery
without the surgery.

Th-That's-- That's how
I'm gonna market it.

You're gonna cut me up and make
me into soup soyou can give
peopleyounger-looking skin?

It sucks foryou, huh?

- Let me go, you son-of-a-bitch!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

This will be a lot easier
ifyou just... relax.

No! Oh, no.
Oh, oh!

- Here we go now. Now,
just-just, okay. Here we go.
- No!

- Okay. Oh!
- [KnockingAt Door]

-Just a minute, a minute.Just a minute.
-[ Groaning ]

[Knocking Continues,
People Shouting]

What doyou want?

- We want the zombie!
- [ Everybody] Yeah!

Well, there's no zombie here.

- We think hewent in there!
- Well, you're a very confused man.

- [Woman] Wesawhim.
- Now, go home. Good night.

[CrowdShouting]

[Shouting Continues]

- What's going on out there?
- There's a mob thatwants to kill you.

- But don'tworry,
I need to kill you more.
- Oh, great.

Oh, unfortunatelywe don't
have time for an anesthetic.

- What?
- All right, all right, okay.

- No! No!
- Uh, uh.

- [PoundingAt Door]
- [ Whimpers ] Uh, oh!

Just,just don't move.

[CrowdShouting]
One... two...

three... ram!
[ Shouting ]

- [PoundingAt Door]
- Uh-oh.

[CrowdShouting]

You stay right there.

[PoundingAt Door,
CrowdShouting]

God,Johnny, what's going on?
You okay?

Three... ram!

Aaa-aaah!

- [Crashing] Where is he?
- Where is who?

- The zombie!
- What zombie?

- The only damn zombie running
through town, you idiot!
- Can you describe this zombie?

[ Shouting ]

[Woman]
Stop thatzombie! Is he here?

- [Man]Let's findhim!
- We saw him come in here.

Aha! Where is he?

I'm sure I don't know
whatyou're talking about.

- Your friend, the zombie.
- We're just here to get our flu shots.

- [Man] Down here.
- [People Yelling] Get him!

- [Woman] Come on, let's findhim!
- [ Crowd Muttering ]

- [Man] He's aroundhere somewhere.
- Save a few chunks for me!

- Where is he?
- [Man ] What?

- Where'd the zombie go?
- [Man ] Overhere!

- [ Panting ]
- Down there!

[ Shouting ]

-Johnny, run!
- [ Panting ]

- [ Shouting ]
- Oh.

[ Man ]
There he is!

[ Panting Continues ]

- Oh.
- [CrowdShouting, Getting Closer]

- Which way?
- Hewent thatway.

Murray!

Murray!

- Hurry, open the gates!
-Johnny. Hi,Johnny.

Murray, open the gate.

- Hurry up!
- What is it?

- What? What?
- [CrowdShouting]

Oh, dear. Oh.

[ Shouting ]

Well, I warned you.
You wouldn't listen.

- [ Shouting ]
- Hurry.

- [ Shouting ]
- We're closed.

- [Crowd Continues Shouting]
- [Murray]Run,Johnny, run!

Whoa!

[ Panting ]

Oh! [ Pants ] Huh?

Now, I've gotyou,Johnny Dingle.
It's barbecue time.

- Light up the zombie.
- Stop!

- You leave him alone!
- Get up, little girl.

- Get off of me!
- Getyour hands offher.

Honey...

- let the zombie go and I'll
buyyou a pretty new dress.
- No, Daddy.

This way, Marge.
This way. Son?

Son, frankly I don't care
who thinks ill of us.

Just...
get the hell away...

- from ourson.
- [Person Drawing Sword]

Well, Sheriff...

do something.

Okay.
Light up the zombie.

- No! Daddy!
- [ CrowdShouting]

You can't.

He died for me.

He came back from the dead for me.
He ate someone for me.

Everything that happened to him
happened because he loved me.

[Murray]
Sheriff? Sheriff?

Uh... would you
have died for her?

- Of course.
- Would have come back
from the dead for her?

I don't know.

Could you have eaten
someone to be with her?

No.

No.

Could any ofyou?

- Huh? Huh?
- [ Everybody] No.

I rest my case.

Well, he won't die by my hand.

Then he'll die by ours.
Who votes we kill 'em?

[CrowdSilent]

Well, I hope somebody eats thewhole
damn bunch ofyou. Fatheads.

Ifmy daughter desires a dance
with this fineyoung man...

then by God they're gonna dance.

[CrowdCheering]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

[JohnnyNarrating]
So there I was getting apolice
escort to the prom with Missy.

It was the best moment
ofmy entire life.

I was also prettysure
it was gonna be the last...

but right then,
that didn't matter.

What mattered was I was gonna
have the dance I'd been waiting
for since the first grade.

That much I was sure of. But
still, nothing could've prepared
me for what was about to happen.

# When the sky
is about to fall #

# So keep hangin' on #

# For as the timejust
keeps turning around#

# There's no turnin'back
to find what's right behind#

# Sojust stay around#

# All through the night#

# 'Tilyou can see what's right#

We finally got
our dance, sweetie.

# Whoa-ooo-oh#

# Yeah#

# But still it can get better #

# There's ajourney
down theyears #

# Holdyour head up high
in that stormysky #

# And the change
will surely come #

# So keep hangin' on #

- # For as the time #
-Johnny, no.

#Just keeps turning around#

# There's no turning away to find#

Please don't go.

# Sojust stay around#

I... Iove you.

[ Crying ]
I love you too.

# 'Tilyou can
see the light#

- # Hangin'on#
- [Missy Crying]

# Hangin'on
for dearlife#

# Oh, ho-ooh##

[ Missy Crying ]

[Wind Howling]

[Thunderclap ]

[Man ]
Ah, thereyou are.

- You.
- What? What?

We've been waiting!

- For me?
- Ofcourse foryou...

you dumb sloat.

You see anyone else who was supposed
to be here four days ago?

Hey, look, I'm, uh--

I'm really sorry. I-I didn't know
anybodywas waiting.

When you die, you are supposed
to come directlyhere...

where we pass judgement...

andsendyou to Heaven or Hell.

You are not supposed to climb
out ofthe grave, muck around
on Earth waiting to die...

a second time!

I-I-I didn't plan that,
itjust happened.

Sorry about all theyelling.
Here's the situation:

There's been a little mistake.

What kind ofmistake?

The fact is...

you weren't actually supposed to die
in the convenience store.

- [Yells ] What?
- No, no,just calm down. It's all here.

May 28th, 8:33 p.m.:

Robber enters convenience store,
threatens Missy McCloud.
She attempts to stop robbery.

Robberturns to shoot her,
in doing so knocks over
a pot of coffee with his elbow.

- Wait a minute!
- Mm-hmm?

Hewas supposed
to slip on coffee?

Supposed to, but... didn't.

It doesn't happen very often
but somewhere someone
screwed up and the result is...

a sad, tragic mistake.

The result is I'm dead!

Wheneverwe...
make a mistake...

we try to rectify it by giving the person
a second chance on life;

a chance toprove their worth.

That accounts for the existence
ofthe occasional zombie.

What they do when back...

from the dead determines what
we do with them in the afterlife.

Hey, look. I wanna talk to you
about Chuck. He was practically
dead before I ate him.

I'm sorry. It's time
you were on yourway.

- On myway to where?
- To whereyou belong,
Johnny Dingle.

To whereyou belong.

[Pounding Gavel]

Next.

[WindHowling, Thunderclap]

- Hi,Johnny.
- Hey.

All right, gimme all your money
or I'll blowyour damn brains out.

Don'tworry.
Everything will be okay.

Let's go!

Let's go!

[ Cocks Gun ]

Look out!

[ Grunting ]

- [Missy]Johnny!
- [Johnny Groaning]

- [ Glass Cracking]
- [ Groans ]

Now he knocks
over the coffee.

- Oh, god,Johnny.
- [ Pants ]

Ever since the first grade I've been
desperately in love with you.

You're the kindest, smartest,
most beautiful girl I've ever known.

And after I'm gone...

I justwantyou to know thatyou
meant more to me... than life itself.

I loveyou, Missy.

You're not shot.

What?

[Jingling Chain]

The bullet hit this thing
you werewearing.

You tried to sacrifice
your life for me.

You'd have done
the same for me.

Trust me... I know.

["Hanging On For Dear Life"
Performed By MMC]

Would you like to go
to the prom with me?

# There's no turning away
You'll find-- #

[Johnny Narrating]
And that's it. That's the whole story.

I know it seems prettypreposterous
but it happenedjust that way.

IfI had to do it all over again
and I could do it differently...

you know what I'd change:
nothing.

Well, I take that back.
That's not entirely true.

I think I would
have eaten Buck.

# Hangin' on for dear life #

# Oh, ho-ooh ##

## [ "The One I Love "
Performed By The Sextants ]

# I woke up
on my way #

# Not a whole lot different
than yesterday #

# But this world's so hard on me
so it's a little bit worse #

# I got a girl
She's a good one #

# She's got her mother's
good looks but she's already #

# On the run from me #

# 'Cause mean girls
never learn #

# And so I cry
when I'm alone #

# Watching my TV #

# And that is why #

# I sing this song#

# To the one I love #

# IfI was true
you'd be a lie #

# IfI was blue
you'd be the sky #

# Up above where the rain
comes down from #

# Making a sea
between me #

# And the one I love #

# The one I love #

# So I laughed
Well, I cried#

# So you'll live #

# But I'll die
a thousand times #

# Ifthat's all right
with you #

# And why can't
anybody see #

# There's not one damn thing
that is wrong with me #

# It'sjust everyone else
but me #

# And so I cry
when I'm alone #

# Watching my TV #

# And that is why #

# I sing this song#

# To the one I love #

# IfI was true
you'd be a lie #

# IfI was blue
you'd be the sky #

# Up above where the rain
comes down from #

# Making a sea
between me #

# And the one I love #

# Well, ifyou don't
really know me #

# Then why must
you control me #

# Ifyou don't
really love me #

# You lead me on and on
and on and on and on #

# IfI was true
you'd be a lie #

# IfI was blue
you'd be the sky #

# Up above where the rain
comes down from #

# Making a sea
between me #

# And the one I love #

# IfI was true
you'd be the sky #

# Up above where the rain
comes down from #

# Making a sea
between me #

# And the one I love ##