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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:10,001 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,333 On my way down to coordinate search and rescue. 3 00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,458 On my way down to coordinate search and rescue. 4 00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:19,500 I mean, honestly, how do you keep your food down? 5 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:20,667 Shut up. 6 00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,208 - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey, hey. Buddy! 7 00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,792 What do you think? Maximum occupancy has been reached. 8 00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,625 Take the stairs. 9 00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:31,625 Yeah. Stop, stop. 10 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,667 Hand over the case, Stark. 11 00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:40,583 Hand it over. 12 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,542 - Stark? - Stark? 13 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:46,333 Breathe, breathe. 14 00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:54,583 Good job. Meet me in the alley. I'm gonna grab a quick slice. 15 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,958 No stairs! 16 00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:11,750 Where's Loki? 17 00:01:12,292 --> 00:01:14,708 Loki! Loki! 18 00:03:01,083 --> 00:03:04,708 I am Loki of Asgard. 19 00:03:05,917 --> 00:03:08,667 And I am burdened with glorious purpose. 20 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:13,833 I... 21 00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:22,083 Never mind. 22 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,083 Don't touch that. 23 00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:32,500 Appears to be a standard sequence violation. 24 00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:35,833 Branch is growing at a stable rate and slope. 25 00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:37,875 Variant identified. 26 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,167 I beg your pardon. 27 00:03:40,583 --> 00:03:42,833 On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, 28 00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:46,083 I hereby arrest you for crimes against the Sacred Timeline. 29 00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:47,958 Hands up. 30 00:03:48,042 --> 00:03:49,917 You're coming with us. 31 00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,208 I'm sorry. Who's "us"? 32 00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:55,750 Last chance, Variant. 33 00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:01,583 It's been a very long day, 34 00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:05,583 and I think I've had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do, 35 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:09,250 so, if you don't mind, this is actually your last chance. 36 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,708 Now get out of my way. 37 00:04:24,292 --> 00:04:27,167 You are now moving at 1/16th speed, 38 00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:30,458 but feeling all that pain in real time. 39 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,875 Reset the timeline. 40 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,292 - What species? - Variant Skrull. 41 00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,375 What is this place? 42 00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:24,000 My dad is on the board of Goldman Sachs. 43 00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:26,292 One call and your whole job is privatized. 44 00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,458 - All right. - How'd you like that? 45 00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:29,917 Hello, sir. 46 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:41,250 - Come on. - You're making a terrible mistake. 47 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,917 You're making a big mistake. Whoa! 48 00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:46,208 - Hello, ma'am, uh... - Log this as evidence. 49 00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,167 Oh... 50 00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,458 Can you at least tell me what it is? 51 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:53,208 It's the Tesseract. Be very careful with it. 52 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:54,958 It sounds dumb. 53 00:05:57,083 --> 00:05:58,208 Know this. 54 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:01,000 You cross me, there are deadly consequences. 55 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,458 We'll see. 56 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,667 Hey, hey! 57 00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:25,917 Absolutely not. 58 00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,583 This is fine Asgardian leather. 59 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,958 Hold very still. 60 00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:40,958 Now, hang on just a minute. 61 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,583 Please sign to verify this is everything you've ever said. 62 00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:54,667 What? 63 00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:00,292 Sign this, too. 64 00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:03,708 Oh, this is absurd. 65 00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:09,458 And this. 66 00:07:36,292 --> 00:07:39,458 Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, 67 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,000 were born an organic creature, 68 00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:43,875 and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul. 69 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,375 What? "To my knowledge"? 70 00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:49,417 Do a lot of people not know if they're robots? 71 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,583 Thank you for confirming. Move through. 72 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,167 What if I was a robot and I didn't know it? 73 00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,625 The machine would melt you from the inside out. 74 00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:05,792 Please move along, sir. 75 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,542 Okay, I'm not a robot, so I'll be fine. 76 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,250 What? 77 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,458 - Oh, what's that? - Your temporal aura. 78 00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:28,000 - What's that? - Please, through the door. 79 00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:33,250 Take a ticket. 80 00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:36,458 What is this, a deli? No. 81 00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:43,875 Take a ticket. 82 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,208 There's only two of us in here. 83 00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,833 Take a ticket. 84 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,042 This is a mistake! I shouldn't be here! 85 00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:16,458 Hey there! You're probably saying, 86 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:19,250 "This is a mistake. I shouldn't even be here." 87 00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:25,708 Welcome to the Time Variance Authority. 88 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,250 I'm Miss Minutes, 89 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:32,542 and it's my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes. 90 00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:35,500 So let's not waste another minute. 91 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:39,542 Settle in, sharpen your pencils, and check this out. 92 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:46,042 Long ago, there was a vast multiversal war. 93 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:49,833 Countless unique timelines battled each other for supremacy, 94 00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:52,208 nearly resulting in the total destruction of... 95 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,917 ...well, everything. 96 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,208 But then, the all-knowing Time-Keepers emerged, 97 00:09:58,292 --> 00:10:03,125 bringing peace by reorganizing the multiverse into a single timeline, 98 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,625 the Sacred Timeline. 99 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:11,083 Now, the Time-Keepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time 100 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,458 for everyone and everything. 101 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:18,917 But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time-Keepers created. 102 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,333 We call those Variants. 103 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:26,542 Maybe you started an uprising, or were just late for work. 104 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,708 Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, 105 00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:34,208 which, left unchecked, could branch off into madness, 106 00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:37,292 leading to another multiversal war. 107 00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,292 But, don't worry, 108 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,083 to make sure that doesn't happen, 109 00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:47,000 the Time-Keepers created the TVA and all its incredible workers. 110 00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:51,917 The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake 111 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,917 and set time back on its predetermined path. 112 00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:59,917 Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline, 113 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,625 you must stand trial for your offenses. 114 00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:06,500 So sit tight, and we'll get you in front of a judge in no time. 115 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,625 Just make sure you have your ticket, 116 00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:11,958 and you'll be seen by the next available attendant. 117 00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:17,125 {\an8}- For all time. - Always. 118 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,167 Time-Keepers? The Sacred Timeline? 119 00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,708 Who actually believes this bunkum? 120 00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,292 - Ticket, sir? - He didn't give me a ticket. I asked. 121 00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:31,875 - Ticket, sir! - I tried to ask that guy for a ticket! 122 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,000 Sir... 123 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:36,417 What, you're raising your voice at me, bucket head? 124 00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:48,000 Thanks for visiting the TVA. 125 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,500 Don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing. 126 00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:24,125 The hunter and his Minutemen responded to a routine nexus event. 127 00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:27,375 It appears that when they arrived, somebody got the jump on 'em. 128 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:28,750 You think? 129 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:30,875 It's him. 130 00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:36,167 Yeah, stab wounds look consistent with the others. 131 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,458 Positioning of the bodies indicates they didn't know what the hell hit 'em. 132 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:46,833 And reset charge is gone. 133 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:49,833 That's the sixth attack in the last week. 134 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,625 That we know of. 135 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,833 - Hey! - Wait, stand down! Stand down. 136 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,000 It's just a kid. 137 00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:10,417 Hey, yo! 138 00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:37,542 Tap it. 139 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,125 Don't worry, that devil's afraid of us. 140 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,000 We're gonna take care of him. 141 00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:02,417 And we're gonna put you back where you belong. 142 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,833 Devil bearing gifts. 143 00:14:22,417 --> 00:14:26,083 Go ahead and run this for sequence period and any hints of temporal aura. 144 00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:28,708 You know we won't get anything. 145 00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,667 Yeah, just give it a shot. 146 00:14:33,292 --> 00:14:35,958 The branch is nearing red line. We need to go. 147 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,375 Okay. 148 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,083 It's okay. 149 00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:52,958 Set a reset charge. 150 00:14:55,792 --> 00:14:57,667 Sir, there's something you'll wanna see. 151 00:15:03,792 --> 00:15:05,667 Next case, please. 152 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:16,458 Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, 153 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:20,542 is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. 154 00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:24,750 How do you plead? 155 00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:29,000 Madam, a god doesn't plead. 156 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,458 This has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I'd like to go home now. 157 00:15:33,958 --> 00:15:36,750 Are you guilty or not guilty, sir? 158 00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:40,458 Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. 159 00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:43,625 Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. 160 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:48,083 Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? 161 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,500 Absolutely not, you have the wrong person. 162 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,625 Oh, really? And who should we have? 163 00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,833 I suspect, the Avengers. 164 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:58,625 I came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, 165 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:03,208 no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King. 166 00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:05,333 That's quite an accusation. 167 00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:08,625 Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks. 168 00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:12,375 You speak of Time Criminals? It's they you should be after. 169 00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:16,750 Perhaps you could provide me with a taskforce and resources, 170 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:19,417 and I could return and eliminate them for you. 171 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,333 We're not here to talk about the Avengers. 172 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,583 - Oh, no? - No. 173 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:26,625 What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not. 174 00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:32,667 Right. Uh... 175 00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:36,042 "Not supposed to happen"? According to whom? 176 00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,333 The Time-Keepers? 177 00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:40,333 Oh, the Time-Keepers. Right. 178 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:46,083 Well, perhaps I should speak to these Time-Keepers, gods to gods. 179 00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:49,125 I'm sorry, but they're quite busy. 180 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,083 Oh, they are? What are they doing? 181 00:16:51,167 --> 00:16:53,042 Dictating the proper flow of time. 182 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,792 I see. Right. And then what do you do? 183 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,208 Dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictations. 184 00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:00,417 How do you plead? 185 00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,417 Guilty... 186 00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,333 of this. 187 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,625 - What's going on? - Hang on. Everyone quiet. 188 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,750 - He's trying to use his powers, ma'am. - Don't rush me. 189 00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,500 Damn it! Why won't it work? 190 00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:31,125 Magic powers? They're no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson. 191 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,875 The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset. 192 00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:36,458 Next case, please! 193 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:40,500 "Reset"? What does that mean? What, is it bad? What does it mean? 194 00:17:40,583 --> 00:17:45,083 Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends! 195 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:48,542 It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was. 196 00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:51,542 You have no idea what I'm capable of! 197 00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:53,208 I... I think I might. 198 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,333 Have an idea of what he's capable of. 199 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,125 Approach the bench. 200 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,167 Hi. 201 00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:10,458 If you're thinking what I think you are, it's a bad idea. 202 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,750 Okay, I'm just chasing a hunch. 203 00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:17,333 Anything goes sideways, it's on you. 204 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,333 Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. 205 00:18:20,417 --> 00:18:22,708 I like it. It's appropriate. 206 00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,333 And who are you? 207 00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:40,083 I'm gonna burn this place to the ground. 208 00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:43,042 I'll show you where my desk is, you can start there. 209 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,292 Have a look. 210 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,292 Home sweet home. 211 00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,708 I thought there was no magic here. 212 00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:03,833 There isn't. 213 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,042 That's not real. 214 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,250 It is, and, unfortunately, so is all the paperwork. 215 00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,292 Good tinder for your fire, though. Come on. 216 00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,708 This place is a nightmare. 217 00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,042 That's another department. 218 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,292 Now that department I'll help you burn down. 219 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,000 I'm Agent Mobius, by the way. 220 00:19:51,583 --> 00:19:53,208 Are you taking me somewhere to kill me? 221 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:56,625 No. That's where you just were. I'm taking you some place to talk. 222 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,542 I don't like to talk. 223 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:01,083 But you do like to lie, which you just did. 224 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,625 Because we both know you love to talk. 225 00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:06,167 Talkie-talkie. 226 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,333 How long have you been here? 227 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:13,667 I don't know. It's hard to say, time passes differently here in the TVA. 228 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,750 - What does that mean? - You'll catch up. 229 00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:22,250 So, you're part of the TVA's courageous and dedicated workforce? 230 00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,375 Yes. 231 00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:25,750 - You were created by the Time-Keepers. - Yep. 232 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:28,833 - To protect the Sacred Timeline. - Correct. 233 00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:32,333 Is that funny? 234 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,708 The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people 235 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:40,208 across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards, 236 00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:41,417 yes, it's funny. 237 00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:42,958 It's absurd. 238 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,875 I thought you didn't like to talk. 239 00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:49,083 After you. 240 00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:05,792 For the record, this really does feel like a killing-me kind of a room. 241 00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,750 Not big on trust, are you? 242 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:10,792 Trust is for children and dogs. 243 00:21:11,292 --> 00:21:13,083 There's only one person you can trust. 244 00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:15,125 Yourself? I like it. 245 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,792 Slap it on a T-shirt. 246 00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:21,167 If the TVA truly oversees all of time, 247 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:23,583 how have I never heard of you until now? 248 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:25,250 'Cause you've never needed to. 249 00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:27,500 You've always lived within your set path. 250 00:21:27,583 --> 00:21:29,958 I live within whatever path I choose. 251 00:21:30,042 --> 00:21:32,875 Sure you do. Okay, come have a seat. 252 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,833 I told you, time moves differently in the TVA. 253 00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:42,708 Come on, sit down. 254 00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:46,167 Let's get into this. 255 00:21:53,542 --> 00:21:54,583 Go on, have a seat. 256 00:22:02,458 --> 00:22:04,083 If looks could kill. 257 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:06,458 What do you want from me? 258 00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:09,000 Well, let's start with a little cooperation. 259 00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:10,667 Not my forte. 260 00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:12,000 Really? 261 00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:15,167 Even when you're wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? 262 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,250 Come on. 263 00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:18,375 You don't know anything about me. 264 00:22:18,458 --> 00:22:20,167 Maybe I'd like to learn. 265 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:23,750 I specialize in the pursuit of dangerous Variants. 266 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:25,458 Like myself? 267 00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:26,792 Mmm... 268 00:22:26,875 --> 00:22:29,000 No, particularly dangerous Variants. 269 00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,667 You're just a little pussycat. 270 00:22:32,292 --> 00:22:34,250 I got a set of questions for you. 271 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:35,708 You answer them honestly, 272 00:22:35,792 --> 00:22:38,667 and then maybe I can give you something you want. 273 00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:40,667 You wanna get out of here, right? 274 00:22:41,458 --> 00:22:42,792 Yeah, so we'll start there. 275 00:22:42,875 --> 00:22:44,958 Should you return, what are you gonna do? 276 00:22:47,708 --> 00:22:49,958 - Finish what I started. - Which is? 277 00:22:50,542 --> 00:22:51,792 Claim my throne. 278 00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:53,458 You wanna be king? 279 00:22:53,542 --> 00:22:55,542 I don't want to be, I was born to be. 280 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,208 I know, but king of what exactly? 281 00:23:00,583 --> 00:23:02,042 You wouldn't understand. 282 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:03,125 Try me. 283 00:23:06,042 --> 00:23:07,417 Midgard. 284 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,250 AKA Earth. 285 00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:13,167 All right. Now you're the king of Midgard, then what? 286 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:14,417 Happily ever after? 287 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,667 Asgard, the Nine Realms. 288 00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:21,208 - Space? - Space? 289 00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:25,083 Space is big. That'd be a nice feather in your cap. 290 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:26,625 "Loki, the King of Space." 291 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,875 Mock me if you dare. 292 00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:31,708 No, I'm not. 293 00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:35,125 Honestly, I'm actually a fan. Yeah. 294 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:41,167 And I guess I'm wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule? 295 00:23:45,208 --> 00:23:47,417 I would've made it easy for them. 296 00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:48,917 People like easy. 297 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,125 The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered 298 00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,583 was the song of freedom. 299 00:23:56,083 --> 00:23:57,292 How's that one go? 300 00:23:57,375 --> 00:23:59,917 For nearly every living thing, 301 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:05,500 choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. 302 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:09,250 There's a fork in every road, 303 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:12,000 yet the wrong path always taken. 304 00:24:12,458 --> 00:24:14,125 Good. Yeah. 305 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,833 You said "nearly every living thing," 306 00:24:15,917 --> 00:24:18,750 so I'm guessing you don't fall into that category? 307 00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:24,958 The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus, 308 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:29,083 and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection. 309 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,042 Big metaphor guy. I love it. 310 00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:34,917 Makes you sound super smart. 311 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,125 I am smart. 312 00:24:36,792 --> 00:24:37,875 I know. 313 00:24:37,958 --> 00:24:39,083 Okay. 314 00:24:41,292 --> 00:24:42,292 Okay. 315 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,500 What is this? 316 00:25:04,042 --> 00:25:06,833 A sampling of your greatest hits, if I may. 317 00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:16,292 If it's all the same to you... 318 00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:20,750 I'll have that drink now. 319 00:25:23,042 --> 00:25:24,042 No. 320 00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:27,125 And I remember. I was there. Anything else? 321 00:25:28,208 --> 00:25:32,375 It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. 322 00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:35,208 You might even say it's in your nature. 323 00:25:35,292 --> 00:25:39,125 You know, things didn't turn out so well for the last person who said that to me. 324 00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:40,667 Oh, yeah, Phil Coulson. 325 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,250 No! 326 00:25:45,083 --> 00:25:49,167 Didn't the Avengers come together to literally avenge him by defeating you? 327 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:51,125 Little solace to a dead man. 328 00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:52,750 Do you enjoy hurting people? 329 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,500 Making them feel small? 330 00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,333 Making them feel afraid? 331 00:25:58,417 --> 00:26:01,000 - Your games don't frighten me. - Making them feel little? 332 00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:02,250 I know what I am. 333 00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:04,083 - A murderer? - A liberator. 334 00:26:04,833 --> 00:26:06,250 Of eyeballs, maybe. 335 00:26:09,167 --> 00:26:12,167 Look at that smile. You are enjoying that. 336 00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:13,750 Did you enjoy hurting them? 337 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:16,042 I don't have to play this game. I'm a god. 338 00:26:16,125 --> 00:26:18,333 Of what, again? Mischief, right? 339 00:26:18,417 --> 00:26:21,833 Yeah. I don't see anything very mischievous about this. 340 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,708 No, I don't suppose you do. 341 00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:30,458 Let's talk about your escapes. 342 00:26:30,542 --> 00:26:34,833 You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away. 343 00:26:34,917 --> 00:26:37,542 What can I say? I'm a mischievous scamp. 344 00:26:38,625 --> 00:26:40,042 This is one of my favorites. 345 00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:44,750 From the flight deck, Captain William A. Scott, 346 00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:48,208 Northwest Orient Airlines 305, on schedule to land in Seattle. 347 00:26:48,292 --> 00:26:50,042 Flight time today, approximately... 348 00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:51,292 Bourbon and soda? 349 00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:53,375 Thank you. 350 00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:55,083 Absolutely. 351 00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:57,042 Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? 352 00:26:57,958 --> 00:26:59,792 I suppose we'll find out, won't we? 353 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:08,542 - Uh, Miss? - Yes, Mr. Cooper? 354 00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:10,875 You might want to take a look at that note. 355 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:14,542 I have a bomb. 356 00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:33,250 I fail to see how this has any relevance or bearing on... 357 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:34,917 No. This is the good part. 358 00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:48,125 See you again someday. 359 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,208 Brother, Heimdall, you better be ready. 360 00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:14,708 I can't believe you were D.B. Cooper. Come on! 361 00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,333 I was young, and I lost a bet to Thor. 362 00:28:17,417 --> 00:28:20,667 Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men? 363 00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:23,917 We were right there with you, just surfing that Sacred Timeline. 364 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,083 So that had the Time-Keepers' seal of approval, did it? 365 00:28:27,167 --> 00:28:30,375 Well, I wouldn't think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. 366 00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:31,583 That's sort of a... 367 00:28:32,625 --> 00:28:33,792 Let's get back to escapes... 368 00:28:33,875 --> 00:28:35,917 ...and a little psychobabble. 369 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,792 What is it that you think that you're really running from? 370 00:28:38,875 --> 00:28:39,917 Enough. 371 00:28:42,792 --> 00:28:44,042 Back in your cage. 372 00:28:44,958 --> 00:28:47,208 See, I can play the heavy keys, too. 373 00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,333 I was just standing up to make a point. 374 00:28:49,417 --> 00:28:50,917 I'm sorry, go ahead. 375 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,292 It won't be as meaningful now. 376 00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:53,542 Okay, well, stay seated. 377 00:28:53,625 --> 00:28:54,875 I'll do what I want to do! 378 00:28:54,958 --> 00:28:55,958 Sure. 379 00:29:00,542 --> 00:29:02,958 What exactly is it that you want? 380 00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:06,250 I want you to be honest about why you do what you do. 381 00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:07,792 Liar. 382 00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:08,875 I'm serious. 383 00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:14,667 All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. 384 00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:17,625 What makes Loki tick? 385 00:29:18,083 --> 00:29:20,625 - I know what this place is. - What is it? 386 00:29:20,708 --> 00:29:22,042 It's an illusion. 387 00:29:24,417 --> 00:29:30,583 It's a cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. 388 00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:33,875 A desperate attempt at control. 389 00:29:33,958 --> 00:29:36,208 Now, you all parade about 390 00:29:36,292 --> 00:29:39,708 as if you're the divine arbiters of power in the universe. 391 00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:42,125 - We are. - You're not. 392 00:29:43,042 --> 00:29:44,583 My choices are my own. 393 00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,958 Your choice is your own. Good, let's go with that. 394 00:29:47,042 --> 00:29:48,708 I think this one's gonna fire you up. 395 00:29:48,792 --> 00:29:52,750 The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy 396 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:55,208 in a mad scramble for power... 397 00:29:55,333 --> 00:29:56,333 Precisely. 398 00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:58,458 I was... 399 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:02,375 I am on the verge of acquiring everything I am owed, 400 00:30:02,458 --> 00:30:04,667 and when I do, it'll be because I did it. 401 00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:06,500 Not because it was supposed to happen. 402 00:30:06,583 --> 00:30:10,708 Or because you or the Time Variance Authority, 403 00:30:10,792 --> 00:30:13,875 or whatever it is you call yourselves, allowed me to. 404 00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:16,042 Honestly, you're pathetic. 405 00:30:16,958 --> 00:30:18,083 You're an irrelevance. 406 00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:20,042 A detour. 407 00:30:20,667 --> 00:30:22,208 A footnote to my ascent. 408 00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:25,542 You finished? 409 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,083 You're gonna start taking things seriously. 410 00:30:28,208 --> 00:30:30,250 If you hadn't picked up the Tesseract, 411 00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:32,917 you would have been taken to a cell on Asgard. 412 00:30:42,333 --> 00:30:43,333 Loki. 413 00:30:43,917 --> 00:30:45,417 Hello, Mother. 414 00:30:46,042 --> 00:30:47,417 Have I made you proud? 415 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,167 Please don't make this worse. 416 00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:51,250 What is this? 417 00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,917 This is nonsense, more tricks. This never even happened. 418 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,042 Not to you. 419 00:30:55,125 --> 00:30:56,292 Not yet. 420 00:30:57,083 --> 00:30:59,417 Look, the TVA doesn't just know your whole past, 421 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,917 we know your whole life, how it's all meant to be. 422 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,542 Think of it as comforting. 423 00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:05,292 This is absurd. 424 00:31:05,375 --> 00:31:07,167 And am I not your mother? 425 00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:12,500 You're not. 426 00:31:14,292 --> 00:31:15,292 Hmm. 427 00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:21,583 Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself. 428 00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:24,292 And then the Dark Elves attack the palace, 429 00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:26,667 and you think you send them to Thor. 430 00:31:26,750 --> 00:31:29,167 You might wanna take the stairs to the left. 431 00:31:29,750 --> 00:31:31,833 But instead, you send them... 432 00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:33,667 I'll never tell. 433 00:31:49,417 --> 00:31:51,250 Where do you have her? Where is she? 434 00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:53,292 You lead them right to her. 435 00:31:53,375 --> 00:31:56,125 I don't believe you. You're lying. It's not true. 436 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:57,625 It is true. 437 00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,833 That's the proper flow of time, 438 00:31:59,917 --> 00:32:04,292 and it happens again and again and again because it's supposed to, 439 00:32:04,375 --> 00:32:05,500 because it has to. 440 00:32:05,583 --> 00:32:08,208 - The TVA makes sure of it. - Where is she? 441 00:32:08,292 --> 00:32:11,833 Now why don't you tell me, do you enjoy hurting people? 442 00:32:11,917 --> 00:32:13,958 - I don't believe you. - Do you enjoy killing? 443 00:32:14,042 --> 00:32:15,875 - I'll kill you. - Like you did your mother? 444 00:32:23,167 --> 00:32:26,042 Sorry, the Time Twister just loops you, not the furniture. 445 00:32:26,458 --> 00:32:28,417 You weren't born to be king, Loki. 446 00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:31,833 You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. 447 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:35,583 That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. 448 00:32:35,667 --> 00:32:40,167 All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves. 449 00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,083 What is this place? 450 00:33:02,417 --> 00:33:03,458 Come on. 451 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,583 What are you doing? 452 00:33:13,667 --> 00:33:16,250 My job. Is it yours to interrupt? 453 00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:18,125 We have a situation. 454 00:33:18,208 --> 00:33:20,833 There's always a situation. 455 00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:24,625 Don't go anywhere. 456 00:33:25,875 --> 00:33:28,167 It was just getting good. Spirited. 457 00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:37,833 - Talking to that Variant is a mistake. - That's your position. 458 00:33:37,917 --> 00:33:39,167 He should be reset! 459 00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:42,083 You think everyone should be reset. I'm getting good stuff! 460 00:33:42,167 --> 00:33:43,167 We lost another unit. 461 00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:50,708 Okay, Loki, I think we can finish up tomorrow and just pick it... 462 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,167 Mischievous scamp. 463 00:34:21,708 --> 00:34:23,333 Wish I could say I was surprised. 464 00:34:23,417 --> 00:34:26,125 - Yeah, I wish you hadn't interrupted us. - Me? It's my fault? 465 00:34:26,208 --> 00:34:27,875 Look, he can't have gotten very far. 466 00:34:27,958 --> 00:34:30,375 Split up. Prune on sight. 467 00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:33,333 No, no pruning, no resetting. He can still help us! 468 00:34:42,333 --> 00:34:43,500 Hey. 469 00:34:43,583 --> 00:34:45,292 Hey. I know you. 470 00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:47,875 You're that criminal with the blue box. 471 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:50,375 - Ow. - What's your name? 472 00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:52,250 Casey. 473 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,583 Give me the Tesseract, or I'll gut you like a fish, Casey. 474 00:34:55,667 --> 00:34:57,125 What's a fish? 475 00:34:57,208 --> 00:34:58,208 What's a fish? 476 00:34:58,292 --> 00:34:59,833 How do you not know what a fish is? 477 00:34:59,917 --> 00:35:01,667 I've lived my entire life behind a desk. 478 00:35:01,750 --> 00:35:03,333 Well, what difference does it make? 479 00:35:03,417 --> 00:35:06,208 I wanna know exactly what I'm being threatened with before I comply. 480 00:35:06,292 --> 00:35:09,125 Death, Casey. Violent, painful death. 481 00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:12,208 Okay, okay. I comply, I comply. 482 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:15,375 I comply. Jeez! 483 00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:20,333 Um... Oh. 484 00:35:20,417 --> 00:35:22,083 This it? 485 00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:27,917 What? 486 00:35:29,167 --> 00:35:30,542 Infinity Stones? 487 00:35:33,083 --> 00:35:34,083 How... 488 00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:36,833 How do you have these? 489 00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:39,083 Oh, We actually get a lot of those. 490 00:35:39,375 --> 00:35:41,750 Yeah. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. 491 00:35:42,625 --> 00:35:43,708 Some of 'em. 492 00:36:24,833 --> 00:36:27,333 Is this the greatest power in the universe? 493 00:36:39,125 --> 00:36:41,458 Oh, you almost hit me! 494 00:36:41,542 --> 00:36:42,833 That's so messed up. 495 00:36:43,667 --> 00:36:45,667 Split up. Check the lower concourse. 496 00:36:46,792 --> 00:36:48,083 I do not forgive you. 497 00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:46,458 I love you, my sons. 498 00:37:49,208 --> 00:37:50,625 Remember this place. 499 00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:53,500 Home. 500 00:38:10,833 --> 00:38:12,542 Loki, I thought the world of you. 501 00:38:14,958 --> 00:38:17,625 I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. 502 00:38:22,708 --> 00:38:25,542 Maybe you're not so bad after all, brother. 503 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000 Maybe not. 504 00:38:27,875 --> 00:38:28,917 Thank you. 505 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:31,750 If you were here, I might even give you a hug. 506 00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:34,208 I'm here. 507 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,375 Undying? 508 00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:53,833 You should choose your words more carefully. 509 00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:08,542 You... 510 00:39:09,667 --> 00:39:10,917 will never be... 511 00:39:13,958 --> 00:39:15,000 a god. 512 00:40:06,417 --> 00:40:07,875 What's so funny? 513 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:13,042 Glorious purpose. 514 00:40:59,542 --> 00:41:00,542 Stop... 515 00:41:02,125 --> 00:41:03,125 It. 516 00:41:04,167 --> 00:41:05,208 Stop it! 517 00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:08,500 St... Stop it... 518 00:41:08,583 --> 00:41:09,917 It... Stop it... 519 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,042 Stop... I... St... Sto... St... 520 00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:25,417 And this guy kept saying he was gonna turn me into a fish, 521 00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:26,542 whatever that is, 522 00:41:26,625 --> 00:41:28,833 and then they show up and just prune my cart, 523 00:41:28,917 --> 00:41:30,583 so there was nothing I could have done. 524 00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:34,208 Hey, there you are. 525 00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:37,583 You know, that Variant you had got away. 526 00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:56,958 Loki? 527 00:41:59,708 --> 00:42:01,083 Nowhere left to run. 528 00:42:04,708 --> 00:42:06,250 I can't go back, can I? 529 00:42:08,875 --> 00:42:10,167 Back to my timeline. 530 00:42:18,333 --> 00:42:21,292 I don't enjoy hurting people. 531 00:42:25,458 --> 00:42:26,458 I... 532 00:42:27,042 --> 00:42:28,292 I don't enjoy it. 533 00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:34,250 I do it because I have to, 534 00:42:34,333 --> 00:42:35,500 because I've had to. 535 00:42:36,083 --> 00:42:37,583 Okay, explain that to me. 536 00:42:38,083 --> 00:42:40,458 Because it's part of the illusion. 537 00:42:43,042 --> 00:42:48,417 It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. 538 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,750 A desperate play for control. 539 00:42:51,792 --> 00:42:53,375 You do know yourself. 540 00:42:55,625 --> 00:42:57,333 A villain. 541 00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,417 That's not how I see it. 542 00:43:06,583 --> 00:43:08,083 You try to use that? 543 00:43:08,167 --> 00:43:09,458 Oh, several times. 544 00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:14,375 Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. 545 00:43:17,542 --> 00:43:19,583 The TVA is formidable. 546 00:43:20,458 --> 00:43:22,083 That's been my experience. 547 00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:25,458 Listen, I can't offer you salvation, 548 00:43:26,208 --> 00:43:28,333 but maybe I can offer you something better. 549 00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:33,958 A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen. 550 00:43:35,083 --> 00:43:38,708 And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him? 551 00:43:38,792 --> 00:43:40,167 That's right. 552 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:41,917 Why me? 553 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,917 The Variant we're hunting is... 554 00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:45,917 you. 555 00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:49,333 I beg your pardon? 556 00:44:18,958 --> 00:44:21,292 Time signature is early third millennium. 557 00:44:21,375 --> 00:44:22,500 Definitely anachronistic. 558 00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,250 Oil. 559 00:44:30,917 --> 00:44:33,042 I think some jackass found himself a time machine, 560 00:44:33,125 --> 00:44:34,542 came back here to get rich. 561 00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:36,667 Should we fan out and look for him, sir? 562 00:44:37,125 --> 00:44:40,125 Nah. It's not worth the paperwork. 563 00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:42,875 Just prune it. Let's bail. Set a charge. 564 00:44:43,583 --> 00:44:46,042 Wait. Someone's out there. 565 00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:50,583 Check it out. 566 00:45:01,708 --> 00:45:02,792 Get down! 567 00:50:12,833 --> 00:50:15,042 Thanks for visiting the TVA. 568 00:50:15,125 --> 00:50:17,958 Don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing. 41871

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