Original subtitles

Now reunited, Gilius Thunderhead

and Hampton Squib continue their quest,

heading straight for a... huge storm?

My gods, that looks bad.

Oh, wait.

It's just dust. I was gonna say,

who draws a storm on a map? Where were we?

Ah, yes, our valiant duo continue their quest

in perfect weather.

Must be nice. It's snowing where I am.

Not like anyone cares.

Hampius Squunderhib back on the road again.

No, wait.

Gimpton Thub.

What in gods' great gut are you doing?

I'm combining our names into a heroic portmanteau,

a "herortmanteau," if you will.

We don't have time for your silly names.

We have important business...

in Wenisburg.

Wenisburg?

No.

No, no, no. We don't want to go there.

You want to be the leader? You choose.

I say we check out the serpent-infested sludge pools.

And that is

your last time leading. We're going to Wenisburg.

I don't want to, okay? I grew up there,

and I was bullied the entire time.

Oh, kids are cruel. So what?

The kids were bad, but my parents were worse.

They'd call me names like Clammy Hammy

or Chicken Neck Squib or the Embarrason.

Those are good. My best one is Hampton Shit,

which I've been saving for a special occasion.

You're really making me go?

Yes, I am. Hyah!

Hampton Shit.

Meanwhile, Ax, Tyris and Chronos

seek to learn more about the Emerald Blade,

so they've decided to pay a visit

to Yuria's Ancient Library.

Yet, upon arrival, they're attacked by a giant...

-Bookworm! -I was

just about to say that, Tyris.

You get it, giant worms that grow in books. Blah, blah.

It's three-on-one. Split up!

Ha! Because three is greater than one.

Stupid worm, eating all those books

and learning nothing.

Ooh, tastes better than I expected.

That's it.

Time for a worm roast.

Fire magi...

Hey!

Read the sign!

No fire magic.

You burn down one library,

and suddenly you're a sign.

Hey, that's my wife!

Did you just call me your wife?

Oh, yeah, big-time.

But we're not married.

Good one, Tyris.

Oh, my gods.

There's good news, Hampton.

Someone murdered all your childhood bullies.

Death Adder's forces destroyed it all.

That right there? That was Lovers' Gazebo.

Now where am I supposed to share my first kiss?

Well, some things are best not shared.

Where's Chicken Leg going?

You ever had your ankles grabbed by a skeleton?

You'd spook, too.

Oh, good one, young Squib.

Back at you, old Gilius.

Old?

Er, sorry, you could be young.

Beards add a few years but tons of sophistication.

Huh?

Hampton?

Hampton Squib.

Yeah?

It's Druda. Druda Hildegrade?

Oh. Hi.

So, uh, you're a skeleton now?

Yeah, I got my dream job fighting for Death Adder.

I'm apprenticing to be a catapult operator.

-No, please. -You know this foul creature?

Yeah, she was one of my bullies.

She invented something called the purple nurple.

I didn't have nurples, but I guess

"pipple nipple" didn't make sense.

He didn't think it was funny,

but his parents loved it.

Wow, how mean are your parents?

Oh, they're awful.

Anyways, always great making fun of you, Hampton,

but I do have a job to do, and that is to snap

your little chicken neck. Come here.

Hey, I thought you were getting the hang of that blade?

It only seems to work when I'm angry or upset.

One last purple nurple.

Oh, yeah, that'll do it.

Good to see you, Hampton!

Well, that seems like overkill.

Uh, Gilius?

Time to go.

I found them.

Ah, never mind. It's just Caleb.

We need somewhere to hide.

Head for that castle.

Uh, the thing about that castle is...

This is your parents' house?

We lived comfortably. Can we please go somewhere else?

I really don't want to see my parents.

What if they're dead?

Gods, what if they're alive?

What if one's dead and one's alive?

Oh, or the reverse?

Get ahold of yourself.

You're a hero now,

and the best part of being a hero

is throwing it in the faces of those who doubted you.

And the saving people, right?

Yeah.

Mother always keeps the key right here under her favorite...

Oh.

Sorry my mom has these garden dwarves hanging around.

I know they're not exactly of the times.

What are you talking about? That's a garden gnome.

Oh. Sure.

You can't think I look like that thing.

I'm a dwarf. We're completely different.

Hello? Anyone alive?

Anyone dead?

Who goes there?

Is that my sweet baby Hampton?

Thank the gods, our little hero has returned!

I thought you said they were mean.

Oh, wait, is this hug sarcastic?

Oh, that is very dark.

We are married. We had a beautiful wedding.

What wedding?

Oh, no.

Do you mean the wedding we staged

to lure in Minnox the Objector?

The sorcerer who could never hold his peace.

You do remember.

Ax, that was for a quest.

I know, which is why I like to call it

"the quest day of my life."

Doing something for a quest does not make it the truth.

We once dressed as palace guards.

That doesn't make us real palace guards.

You're still working there, aren't you?

I swore an oath.

Why is this only coming up now?

Because it's our anniversary.

I'm guessing you also forgot a gift.

Ax, we've never even kissed.

Exactly. My ideal wife

is a platonic partner to fight beside.

Did you not listen to my vows?

I'm going to find the book on the Emerald Blade.

Chronos, you're coming with me.

Are you eating the worm? It could be poisonous.

That's a good point. I should look that up.

Fatal to... cats!

Okay, we'll see how this shakes out.

Well, if I'd known we were having company,

I would've told the staff to do a deeper clean.

Oh, really? Why's that?

Sorry, we were in the area,

and, I mean, I know you don't approve of what I do now, but...

Oh, nonsense. Your father and I

couldn't be prouder of the man you've become.

Proud? Man?

Threw me, too.

No sign of Death Adder's minions.

We should get going.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I won't hear of it.

You're staying for breakfast. We're thawing prawns.

-Prawns? -Your old room

is just how you left it, Hampton.

Aw, man. We gotta stay.

I don't know.

We really need to go.

The whole Death Adder thing, there's so much to do.

Gilius, if you're trying to protect me,

that's very sweet, but I'm okay.

My parents are acting like totally different people.

Yep, seems like it.

Then we'll stay till morning.

I'm gonna go pick out my prawns.

So...

how long have you two been dead?

Fine, you caught us. We're dead.

And you probably have a lot of questions.

I do. Most are about what's going on with that tapestry.

But I should probably focus on how you died

and why you're still here.

The last thing we remember is Death Adder's hordes attacking.

And then we woke up here as ghosts.

We think we might have unfinished business.

And what might that be?

Hampton.

We weren't the most supportive parents,

but we were young, and, I mean, come on, look at him.

It was as if he was born to be teased.

That noodle neck.

Oh, for me, it's the face.

-That's what Midge thinks. -That's what I think.

We've been given a second chance to give our only son

the love and confidence he needs to fulfill his destiny.

Then, hopefully, our souls will move on.

Please, please, don't tell Hampton that we're dead.

Okay, I can give you until sunrise.

This may come as a surprise,

but old papa Thunderhead was not a hugger.

You don't say. You know, I think Hampton's coming back.

Don't get me wrong, he was a provider.

Hampton!

-He was a good man. -Hampton!

-And I don't hate him. -Come down now!

He wasn't my biological fath...

Get your ass down here!

Look what I found.

My Yurian chessboard. Up for a game?

It's so boring...

I mean, I'd love to.

Really? I was expecting a hard no.

Double foursies!

You know what that means.

Probably that four and a half hours into this game,

your parents are proud of you

and are gonna make sure you know it?

It means I capture one of Father's gods.

Now he only has eight left.

Mother has 17. She's really good.

Not as many as my big little battle hero.

Now tell him you love him.

I... love you, Hampton.

Is it working? Are you feeling light or floaty?

Gilius, you can't just raid my parents' pantry.

They don't eat anymore. I-I mean, uh, meat.

They don't eat meat anymore.

Hmm, change in diet, change in attitude.

Gilius, you should try that.

What's happening? Why haven't you moved on?

I don't know. We're saying all the nice things we can think of.

I even told him I liked his interesting haircut.

And to be clear, I don't.

Hey, I did it! I win.

No! No, no, no!

The sword smith cannot pass through the dragon's barrier.

What are you thinking, you idiot?

Ahem.

I mean, very creative game play, son.

And here's the best part. I mean it.

Right, now, uh, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going outside for my nightly scream.

I'll talk to him.

Hampton, I-I have to tell you something,

and you're not gonna like it.

Gilius, I already know my parents are ghosts.

You do?

You were having some pretty obvious conversations.

And when my mom tried to fix my hair in the moonlight,

her hand went through my face.

So cold.

Why didn't you say anything?

I was enjoying the good version of them so much,

I didn't want to ruin it.

We should probably go, then. It's too bad.

I thought it might be nice for one of us

to get closure with our parents.

I haven't told anyone this before,

but my father...

Ooh, look at the moon. It is late.

We should probably get going.

Ooh.

That's a lot of worm.

A tad longer and we'll find the...

book you're looking for.

Why did you say it like that?

You can be honest, dear.

I've been married 317 years.

I know you only asked to see this old book

to get away from that husband of yours.

-I am not married! -Mm-hmm.

Huh. It says the worms

are allergic to sunlight and lactose.

Couldn't be me.

Give up my glass of milk on the beach? Gods, no.

Here we are.

At last.

The Amethyst Claymore, no. The Bismuth Bludgeon, no.

The Citrine Sphincter.

-How is that a weapon? -I have a couple theories.

♪ The Emerald Blade. ♪

"When the Emerald Blade and the Golden Axe meet,

only one will survive." That's interesting.

I wonder what this next page says.

I found the book we're all looking for.

I've only read the cover, but I know it can fix us.

Now, time to open it.

Come on.

Relationships take work.

No, it's stuck together! That means...

More worms?

You need to divorce this idiot.

It took a while, but I slowly realized

he wasn't cut out to be a father.

He simply didn't have the tools.

What in the...

I'm sorry, I just need

a little more time with my parents.

They've never been so nice to me.

But they're ghosts who barely mean it.

Who cares? It feels too good.

This is what I get for taking in a spoiled rich boy

who can't spend two seconds away from Mommy and Daddy.

-Hampton's bully! -Please.

Hampton's bully is his father.

And his mother. I'm Druda.

What happened to your head?

Ugh, I hit it so hard when Hampton blasted me

with that magical weapon.

Thank gods I'm already dead.

-Not for long. -Wait!

I want to help. Hampton's in danger.

Mom? Dad?

Are the prawns ready?

Hampy needs his scampi.

Sorry, son. We made a deal.

We're taking the Emerald Blade.

Wow.

And I was gonna forgive you for secretly being ghosts.

I don't understand. Why are you doing this?

When Death Adder's forces attacked,

they had us backed into a corner.

He touched my shoulder.

I very calmly made a proposal to Death Adder.

Oh, please don't kill us. Please don't kill me.

You can kill my wife. I don't care.

We'll give you Hampton.

We don't like Hampton. He sucks.

He killed us.

It was awful.

But then he made us into ghosts.

Ah, it was wonderful!

If we uphold our end of the bargain,

he'll bring us back to life for good.

How could you make a deal with Death Adder?

He's basically my number one enemy.

Oh, Hampton, we love you in theory.

We just love being alive more.

We're rich, and being alive is really fun.

Why are you telling me all this?

-You work for Death Adder. -I can't do it anymore.

I didn't want to say this in front of Hampton

because he seems to be thriving in all aspects of life,

but I hate my job.

Skeleton culture is so cutthroat.

They say we're a family, but that's only to guilt you

into battling on holidays.

You don't even get Gods' Remembrance Day?

We don't even get Gods' Remembrance Day!

Do you want to know the worst part?

Not really.

I still haven't been allowed to use the catapult.

They keep saying that I need more experience,

but how am I supposed to get that

if they won't let me?

How about you get some right now

by catapulting me through that window?

Okay!

When you said you had no catapult experience,

you meant in battle, right?

-You've practiced personally? -Nope, this is my first time.

I think we'll have to move this thing up.

What do you think?

Where do you think you're going?

Oh, let him. He's probably off to pout

about feeling "betrayed" or something.

I'm not pouting. I'm going to get Gilius.

Forget your gnome friend.

He's not a gnome. He's a battle dwarf.

And I recently learned they're different,

so I can shame you for not knowing.

Gilius!

Gilly's in the big house with the small boy.

Why would you bring that worm-infested book down here?

Because I haven't given up on us.

And I haven't given up on

collecting your unpaid library fines.

Hey, that worm just saved me three copper.

Wait, the book said these things are allergic to sunlight.

Sunlight.

I remember seeing some outside. Follow me.

The book.

Fine. It's just a bunch of bejeweled butt holes anyway.

I don't think we're gonna make it.

I do!

I do.

Mmm.

Meow. Mmm.

You've made me the happiest man in Yuria.

Still happy.

Oh, yay. I'm next.

Using my own beard against me, eh? Smart.

We need to leave now. Wenisburg is a trap.

We can't. My parents took the blade.

It's pointless.

Death Adder's emissary will be here any moment.

You're out of time.

It's not supposed to end like this.

I'm supposed to be special.

You don't believe any of that "chosen one" poppycock, do you?

If you're that bored, we'll get you an apprenticeship

with Death Adder. Probably unpaid,

but it never hurts to get your foot in the door.

Hey, his foot is already in my door.

I've seen him.

I've seen him fight and prove himself.

He has grown from a clueless, stumbling wimp

into a strong, steady wimp.

He doesn't need your approval.

All he needs is that blade.

Step out of the moonlight and let's try that again...

My gods. What is this place?

Give me that blade.

Youch!

Shall we kill Gilius now, dear?

I'd love to.

No.

I didn't take you for a coward, Gilius.

Show yourself.

What? Are-are you kidding me? I'm right here.

There he is! Aha!

We don't even have the same cheekbones.

Careful! They're hand-painted,

and they stopped making them for literally no reason.

-Stop this instant! -Those were gifts!

Damn it!

Hampton, the blade!

Oh, wow. I got it?

I never win these kinds of things.

That wasn't fair. It was in the moonlight.

-You cheated. -Enough.

We tried being sweet parents, played your stupid chess game,

pretended to be proud, and now we're finished!

Well, I don't need you to pretend anymore.

I have someone who's actually proud of me.

More like pleasantly surprised.

Give us the blade, son.

I am not your son.

Technically, I am, but you know what I mean!

Cheer up. You'll always have

that tapestry to remember them by.

What kind of monster kills his own parents?

You can't off anyone who's already dead.

Death Adder killed your parents,

which is sort of a requirement for being a hero.

So, welcome to the club.

Now, hurry. That emissary will be here any...

No, it's all right. She's on our side.

I'm glad I caught you guys before you left.

I was hoping I might be able to join you.

And why would I want to quest with my childhood bully?

Oh, why would I want to quest with

my childhood bully?

You suck.

She's in. Oh, she is in.

Sorry, sorry. I don't want to be a bully anymore.

Now that I left Death Adder,

I don't know who I'm supposed to be.

But I know I'd rather be with the good guys.

And, Hampton, you're a good guy.

Never mind. She's out.

Oh-ho! She's back in.

Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!

Chirp.