Original subtitles

Cold is coming.

I need to be ready.

Right now, it should be prime-time moose hunting.

If we get a moose, we win this competition.

There's not a doubt in my mind.

Oh, God,

a dead beaver.

There's a live beaver there. Dead beaver there.

Whoa. What do I do?

If I can honor him, then I believe

that he is worth taking.

I'm not ready to give up.

I have to try and get this beaver.

Holy.

Snow.

I have food.

It is now a different environment.

Other than I haven't pooped in a long time,

I feel like I have enough energy.

Camp is officially done. Camp Ukalaitchaq.

I'm in to win this thing, man.

- Yes!

To get another full-size adult beaver,

to have that fat there...

Thank you!

I don't need to have big game.

Let's go! Let's go!

I can go deep into this competition.

Your heart rate's decreased to a point

where it's now critically low.

It's necessary to medically extract you.

I gave my best.

I hope the people around the world

can see that I never quit.

I am humble enough to understand that failure

is part of the process.

Ooh, that's hot.

The hot water bath--

I got this T-shirt here.

It was one of my clothing items.

I cut it in half.

We're gonna dip that T-shirt in the hot water.

Ooh, that feels good, that hot water.

Oh, it feels good.

Oh, look at the--

those are from my ears, the two spots.

Do not put this on TV.

Do not let my wife see this.

She will be grossed out.

Put it on TV.

What I'm thinking about doing is making a wall barrier.

Keep that north wind at bay from hitting my shelter.

We want a tree here.

See if we could pull this one over.

And what we're doing is making a wind block

so all this prevailing wind

gets blocked by this wall.

I'm past the three-week mark-- big step.

Got a long way to go, though.

I feel like I could win this competition

for the Iñupiaq people.

Currently, I don't believe there is

good representation of Iñupiaq culture

out in the world.

I feel like it's a culture that is new to most people.

Now, I'd like something to hold that tree up.

Here comes the snow.

We don't see Iñupiaq people

on TV or movies or in the news.

Just within the last five years or so

is starting to become an actual thing where

we're getting represented in one way or the other.

Try taking every single spruce bough

and just throwing it up.

We're no longer just portrayed as Eskimos that live in igloos

and live on the ice and have fur hoods.

We're getting shown to the world,

especially with the younger generation,

they're so engaged in social media,

and to have them kind of see that it's OK to be Iñupiaq.

It's OK to be Indigenous.

It makes them proud of who they are,

where they came from.

I'm making the main structure right now.

We'll just keep adding all the heavy,

thick stuff on the bottom.

This is really gonna help keep me warm in the long run.

I'm extremely proud of who I am

and who I always have been,

not so much growing up as a teenager

and having to move to bigger cities in Alaska,

and it was something that I felt ashamed of at one point.

I feel like I lost my culture within that time,

going to these bigger schools

of non-Natives

and not feeling accepted.

Make use of all these trees and branches.

I would tell people I enjoy eating seal or whale,

and they'd be grossed out and like,

why would you eat that?

And it was extremely challenging.

Emotionally, I was feeling sad, kind of angry at myself,

like, why do I have to be the Eskimo kid?

Why do I have to be the Iñupiaq kid?

And with that came emotions of jealousy.

Like, why can't I be the Caucasian kid?

I hated it.

There were times where I had to get dragged

into school by the principal.

I had to get threatened with the police coming

and bringing me inside the school.

I remember crying at the time

and just having to accept it and go in.

It wasn't easy.

Well, we got our prevailing wind wall here

all finished up.

It didn't take anything other than picking up

a bunch of branches and spruce and willows

that I already had cut

and piling them up into a wall.

And at the same time,

I practiced one of our Iñupiaq iitqusiat

Iñupiaq values, and that's to respect the land.

So I showed respect to the land by keeping it clean,

keeping it clear.

This isn't our home.

It's our temporary home.

I might have found his house.

That's his dam.

Our snares are right up there.

So we're gonna try to disassemble this a bit

just to get them up and working.

If you want to kill a beaver,

wreck his dam and wait.

He'll be out to fix it.

Even that should...

get him back up and working.

He ain't gonna like me very much.

OK, we're gonna mosey on out of here

and then check the snares.

We're not starving, but we're not flourishing.

So lots of improvement to do.

Just coming up to my first couple sets.

This is way too early to be stressing.

I'm enjoying myself.

I know this is gonna be something

I look back on as fun.

But right now, it's hard work.

Oh, there's bunny tracks.

OK, well, that's-- that's good.

We're getting dialed.

It's not as easy as a guy would think.

The lack of calories, the distance a guy's

got to walk to find some good trapping areas

is a challenge, but I welcome it.

Coming up on the next set. This is a set of four.

We're in it to win it, man.

Oh, we got one.

We got ourselves a bunny.

Perfect snare right around his neck.

He didn't last long.

Ooh, we got dinner.

This is me bunny.

It's my first bunny of the trip.

It's gonna taste good.

I got food.

I got two days out of this bunny too.

We're here for one goal and one goal only.

Let's go through here and walk along.

We know there's a snare here.

I'm not here to find myself.

I'm not here to enjoy the woods.

I'm here to win,

and that is the bottom line.

I want the win and the money.

Oh, there's a rabbit.

I gotta get my bow.

There's a live rabbit right here.

Got him.

OK, let's go check the next set.

Losing's not an option 'cause it doesn't do nothing for you.

I don't need this enlightened moment.

I need to win and win only.

And as bad as that sounds, that's why I'm here.

We got a bunny!

Three bunnies today.

Beaver tomorrow.

Lynx the next day.

We'll have a balanced meal.

Just gonna get a fire going and cook a bunny.

We'll get the pot full of water.

I think I'm extremely competitive,

competitive to a fault, even, like, where--

like, me and Melissa will fight over cards.

People are like, oh, it's just a game.

It's like, yeah, but you're playing the game to win.

Why are you playing the game if you're not playing to win?

It's funny, though.

Like, the demons are creeping in.

They're trying to tell you to go home.

It's like, it's not an option for me.

Be nice to make it home for Christmas,

but if we don't, we don't.

I can't see anybody else doing this, though.

My boy, Ziga, I don't know how he's faring.

Guy seems awesome, but he don't bring a ferro rod.

I think Nero's gonna freeze his feet off with his mukluks.

Will's a dog, but he's got four kids.

I literally got nothing to go home to.

Oh, the heart's delicious.

The funny thing is, I've never been like a big heart person.

I made my decision a long time ago.

So good, man.

We're going for 90, and if we get there

and we're still in the game,

then we'll have to adjust and keep going.

But a lot can happen between then and now.

There's no other option.

Shut the up, Tweety Bird.

Every moose is gone.

I'm going to check a bunch of snares,

hopefully find some critters.

All right, wish me luck.

Not looking very good for any big game.

There's a fresh skiff of snow,

no sign of nothing.

Went and checked the pond again.

There's no ducks or anything.

Made a fish lure. Didn't work.

We're gonna have to focus on small game.

Just coming up to my first couple sets.

Oh, my God, guys, I think I had the lynx.

There's tracks everywhere.

There's that one.

He got through.

Oh, my God.

Like, how is that like this?

Like, does that not mean I got something and he wiggled out?

The other one's pushed aside.

Oh, there's--

Beaver's been here.

Oh, my God. He got it.

The snare's gone.

What the , man?

I snared him, and he got away.

This is embarrassing.

Snared the lynx, but he obviously--

I don't know-- somehow deked me.

And, yeah, the beaver stole one of my snares.

Stroke of luck. I found it in the--

he had it on him, and he walked it up here.

He got it off the tree.

I've set many a snares in my day.

I'm looking like a damn rookie.

We're gonna regroup and figure out

how we're gonna get these guys.

And we'll need some different luck.

That's for sure.

We gonna get you, Mr. Kitty.

That's the big kitty too.

If he starts robbing my bunnies,

that's not good.

I don't know how many bunnies they eat a night,

but we gotta get rid of this guy.

Man,

don't mess with a man's bunny, Mr. Kitty.

Two things you don't mess with--

a man's money and his wife and his kids if he's got them.

But don't got kids.

What is going on here?

I'm right behind him.

I gotta keep following and keep our eyes up.

He's going right towards my camp.

Oh, baby, come on.

I need this more than anything.

I need to spot him before he spots me.

I've had the chance at lynx.

I've had the chance at beaver.

I need the fats,

but I haven't had bad luck like this before.

I'm gonna follow this bastard until I find him.

He's gotta stop somewhere.

With the amount of food on these moose,

I can stay out here for hundreds of days.

Man, I can't let this guy get away.

Like, this is a $500,000 moose.

Stop, you son of a gun.

This is almost comical.

Come on, guys, root for me.

I need a prayer.

Come on, man.

Wish it wasn't windy.

This is the one day I didn't want wind.

You see tracks, you don't want wind,

'cause you can call them back.

Like, they can hear a long ways away with those big ears.

It's so windy.

I don't know what to do.

Man, that's so disheartening.

We could be 14 hours behind him though.

Hopefully he makes his rounds and comes back.

I haven't seen any other signs,

so we're gonna get back to work.

Oh, it sucks, man.

That's a lot of wasted energy.

I chased him for freaking 5 kilometers,

and the guy didn't even stop.

I'm going to...

get him though.

I am optimistic that he'll be back.

He went, like, 100 yards from my cabin.

That is too funny.

Come on, mother nature.

Testing my patience, God darn it.

For the next hour or so, we're gonna cut some wood.

That's what that log is for.

That's how I planned that sawbuck to work, like that.

Just like that.

The spacer-- there you go.

Put your log back over here. Boom.

Stomach-- it's cramping.

I don't think I've pooped in, like, 12 days.

I got gas.

I feel my stomach gurgling all the time.

I just--I don't know if it's 'cause

I got a clog in my digestive system,

or I just haven't been eating enough,

but I feel like I've eaten enough in the last 12 days

to be able to poop, though, so I don't know.

You start to get worried.

Finally.

Took a long time just to buck a few logs.

I'm tired.

Check that moose trail and see if there's fresh tracks on it.

If there is, follow it.

I was told that you can't just eat meat.

You gotta eat fat too.

Otherwise, you're gonna get constipated,

and your body's gonna get backed up.

And I haven't had any fat, really, this whole time.

You know, there's some fat

in fish and all that, but...

And what do we have here?

Those bear tracks?

This looks like bear tracks there.

So there is a freaking bear here.

Got me excited.

It would be extremely beneficial to harvest

a black bear at this point.

So that's gotta be black bear.

If it were a grizzly, it'd be much, much larger.

I know, at this time in the year,

they're gonna have a amazing amount of fat on them.

I know fat is what is gonna help me

get through the winter.

Lost his tracks back here.

Gotta keep an eye out.

I could get right on it with a bow shot.

It would be amazing. It'd be good eating too.

For thousands of years, Iñupiaq hunters

would go out in order to harvest food

for their families and their communities.

If I was home right now, I would be looking

for caribou and moose.

My wife grew up the same way that I did,

being at camp and doing similar things

and same lifestyle.

Camp is technically a second home,

but it feels like a primary home to a lot of us.

That's where we want to go to be Iñupiaq people

and really do things within our culture

that make us feel like real people.

Our ancestors have grown up at these places

and practiced the same traditions

and taught our parents and grandparents all these things,

and they eventually get handed down to us.

It's really important.

Yeah,

it's a little discouraging,

but still a lot of time.

I know that this black bear fat

will be extremely important.

I'm hopeful that this bear is staying in my area.

We'll see.

So have I shown you how to eat rose hips yet?

You pluck one, all right.

You can suck all the meat out, the part that meets the stem.

Mmm, oh, yeah.

And then...

spit out the seeds.

Rose hips and sunshine.

This is what I do every morning.

This is my breakfast.

I think today is gonna have to be a foraging day regardless.

Ooh.

Something--holy --

has walked through here.

That looks like...

a cat.

And...

wow.

Interesting.

There is a lynx wandering around.

so I'm gonna shift gears and focus on

getting a door on my shelter.

I gotta get out of here.

I need to make sure that I have a shelter

that is going to keep me safe

and protect me from predators.

This is my only mission right now.

All right, so we are going to measure the door.

24 is the width.

OK.

Well, I got lucky.

Turns out the door is a perfect square.

So I'm gonna make a frame for it first.

I am not truly alone.

There's predators here.

Oh, no. Oh, perfect.

You know, I've always feared the worst in life

because the worst actually did happen to me.

So going into this experience,

that is something that I'm thinking about

is worst-case scenario.

I've been in positions in my life

where my agency has been stolen.

I know what it's like to be hunted.

So yeah, being on high alert,

knowing that there's predators out there

is--

yeah, it's quite scary.

Well, I'm having a really hard time today.

Being in this place where I am suffering

is starting to remind me

of when I lost my agency, when I lost control,

when I was living in a dark place.

And I don't want to go back there.

I think I'm just gonna sit here.

21 years ago today,

there was a young woman,

19 years old...

Just figuring out who she was,

until one night, her world changed.

She was walking home.

And on her way home, she was kidnapped

by two men

who threw her into a car,

held a gun to her head,

took her to a park...

where they beat her,

they robbed her,

and they raped her.

They took their turns...

destroying her

before leaving her, abandoning her

broken,

beaten, and bloody.

That woman was me.

That little girl was me.

And it's been 20 years.

And you can never move on from that experience,

but there is a way to move forward.

It wasn't until I started to lean into nature

that I found that I could heal.

I dipped a toe into spirituality

and therapy and nature.

With those three things combined,

I found a path

to feeling that I belonged.

Nature taught me that.

Nature taught me that I belonged on this planet.

So I studied it.

Studied navigation,

studied fire, studied plants.

If I could protect myself

and not let fear

prevent me from having a joyous life...

Then that's what I was going to do

so I could become fearless again.

I'm proud of myself for doing this,

for taking on this challenge.

Let's go kick some ass.

I got a lot of work to do.

We got ourselves a bunny.

Oh, he's alive again.

Sorry, buddy.

My God!

Are you kidding me?

What is happening to me?

It's like in golf, they call it the yips.

Like when you, uh,

just can't do anything.

I think I got a case of the yips here.

These snares too, like, I don't know--

clearly, I'm not putting 'em on good enough, but

this is sad, man.

I tend to be a pretty positive person,

but we're in the dumps right now, boy.

Beaver's not back.

He didn't even fix his dam, so I don't know

if the lynx got him or what,

but we'll leave these up and come check 'em tomorrow.

Oh, man, I'm not having a good day.

My mind is trying to give me ways out

that doesn't make me look like I quit.

like this is making me want to go home,

but I'm not gonna.

Let's go check the rest of the site.

I might be crazy, but I'm sitting there

just arguing with myself like, shut up, man.

You're not doing that.

Won a lot of fights in your life, weak mind,

but not this one.

I could be on my couch in

like...

in not long, if I wanted to.

I could be eating pizza not long if I wanted to.

All you have to do is give up on your dreams.

How? Like, it's so crazy to think.

It's like a carrot dangling in front of your face.

It's the same--like, that's how I think about it,

the same as smoking.

Like, when I quit smoking,

it was so hard because I could literally

fix the craving in seconds.

But you'd have to give up on all the progress you made.

It's so-- it's just crazy.

This is the craziest thing a person can do.

You have to be well-rounded with mental toughness.

But I fought mixed martial arts.

I've played rugby.

I've played pretty crazy sports.

Any physical activity that I do is hard mentally.

Found some more moose tracks.

This is what I work in. This is what I grew up in.

This is my advantage.

I must just be missing this guy, man.

I can't lose. I shouldn't lose.

I don't know if it's the same moose or what,

but it went right through here.

We want him to come back to here.

This is the perfect shooting spot.

If we get a moose, I'll have all the fat, all the food.

We can ride this out till we win.

I shouldn't even be shooting at a moose

with only one broadhead anyway, but

I'm taking chances.

They're not paying off.

We're gonna back out here.

I can't believe I just missed.

The arrow hit a tree right in front of him.

I missed by 2 inches.

And, man, is it ever devastating.

Perfect setup.

How the--

Oh, my God. He was standing right here.

I had that lane.

Oh, my God.

I should quit.

I'm feeling like the moose is slipping away.

I don't got a chance. I don't got broadheads.

I got to find another arrow and a broadhead,

and hopefully I can get another opportunity.

Because this is-- this is not good.

I'm so sad right now.

I just missed the moose at 20 yards.

I didn't take a follow-up shot

because I don't have a broadhead with me.

This is so embarrassing, man.

It is what it is.

I'm not gonna beat myself--

I'm gonna beat the out of myself about it,

but it is what it is.

I can't rewind time.

Timber missed a moose, and he got it.

It's a sad day, though, boy.

That moose was essentially the win.

What a greasy move.

Mother nature, what a greasy move.

The door shuts, blocks most of the wind.

I am safe from predators.

So we're chinking the shelter today.

I have all this mud from the shoreline.

Let's go and do this before the mud refreezes.

Holy.

Whoa. Alrighty.

Steady as we go.

Ah, steady.

The sun was able to melt some of it,

enough for me to be able to collect it.

The problem is

mud's really heavy,

like, really heavy.

I'm starting to realize that sustaining

out here for the long term is a serious gamble

and a lot of work.

While I may not be thriving, I'm still doing it.

You know? I've got berries.

I've got plants.

But I'd like to be doing better.

Alrighty.

I have no idea how much mud it's gonna take

to chink this shelter,

but we're about to find out.

You know, in trauma recovery, there are three Rs

that aid in trauma recovery.

And one is rhythms.

The other is relationships.

And the third is reward.

Wow, I'm really enjoying this.

I'm really enjoying it.

It's, like, really therapeutic.

Things that have repetition

actually can help recalibrate our emotional states

in our brains.

This might not be one of those jobs you can do in a day.

The repetition and the rhythm actually calm my mind.

There were times where I thought that living

in trauma was my life.

There was nothing past it.

It was my relationship to the outdoors

that helped me to navigate through that trauma.

Oh, yeah.

This is awesome.

Awesome!

This is good

for today.

I'm pretty hungry.

I'm gonna go check my traps over there.

Wow, my mood's really changed today.

I don't know.

I'm in a new state of mind today.

I'm feeling really good today and optimistic,

and, like, my curiosity is just alive right now,

and all I want to do is go explore.

My first solo hike was

the Laugavegur trail in Iceland.

This was my first time where I got to take the skills

that I, at that point, had only learned

on my own and really test them.

There seems to be quite a few tracks,

so this is good.

So day one, when I was in Iceland,

I was in an earthquake, witnessed an avalanche,

and I fell in a crevasse.

Everything terrible that could possibly happen

actually happened.

See, look at that.

Look at all the traffic right there.

But it was huge for me.

That's what really, really helped

strengthen my relationship with my body

and to have it back.

Oh, he's in my snare.

All right.

Well, today is a good day.

I caught a hare.

Hey, buddy.

Let's go back and process this guy.

Nature has this incredible ability

to give you the answers

to what you're looking for in life.

I'm sorry.

Thank you for your life.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Survival skills saved my life in more ways than one.

It's what helped me to heal.

If my journey can help somebody else,

and nobody has to walk the path

that I've been through in my life

living in a state of suffering,

if I can change one person's life

and say, "Hey, did you ever think

"about leaning into nature?

"Let me show you

what it can do and how it can change your life,"

then...

that would make all of this worth it.

It would make all my pain and suffering worth it,

to help others,

show them that there is another way.

Thank you, universe, for this meal.

I feel like a whole other person right now.

Got a rabbit brain roasting on some coals.

Got rabbit blood all over my hands and all over my pants.

I can feel my body being replenished.

I finally feel like I've become

the person I'm supposed to be.

It's a beautiful day.

Nature has definitely allowed me to develop

a connection with who I call my authentic self,

who Jacks really is.

You know, that person hides a lot.

And so in nature, that person gets to be free.

Eagle footage.

Do something, eagle, for me.

Fly away or something.

It's a good reminder.

I gotta put the food away.

Keep it away from scavengers.

Damn.

I'm gonna work on the food caches this afternoon.

So I'm gonna make a fourth one.

I'm gonna try and make it out of one of the beaver pelts.

Get it set up. See if it works.

I'm really happy with the layout

and the setup with my shelter.

I've got food to last a long time

and need to better preserve it

and make sure that it doesn't go off.

Right now, it's about

storing food.

But I'm starting to learn that I can really just

start to sink into this experience

with the confidence that everything's working for me.

Let's get that beaver pelt into a bit of a bag.

So the question is, how do I want to do it.

I've got paracord there, punch holes is there,

there, there, and there.

And then just have the rope which comes through

and brings them together.

It feels really good to be able to come back

to my shelter and just recharge and regather myself.

And it feels like home.

I think, psychologically, you know, us humans,

we need a place to call home and having connection.

We talk a lot about connection.

I think all Australians find it,

in some way, difficult to be connected to land.

Australia's got this weird sort of conundrum

where we want to be connected

to our land and to our country,

but because of our past, there's a bit of a stigma

that we can't be connected to land.

With colonialism, we came into Australia

as an invader.

And we've pushed the First Nations people

up in the northern parts of Australia.

So they don't have their land anymore.

But now we've come onto this land.

We have all of this history and guilt

with what we've done in the past.

And so therefore, we don't feel like

we have the right to have connection to that land.

So Australia is this place with a whole bunch of people

and not really anybody connected to the land.

She ain't pretty, but...

She'll hold some food.

And I think that's something that

we really need to try and come together

and work through.

Beaver naturally goes in beaver cache.

When I first came to the delta,

I had these expectations and these ideas

of how I thought it should be.

And I was really resistant at first.

Nice and high.

It's taken me a while, but finally,

I'm really feeling like I'm meant to be here.

The land wants me to be here.

And the more that I spend time,

the more that gets reinforced,

and the better and deeper my relationship

with the land becomes.

Sunset over the mountains.

Beautiful.

Feels so surreal to be here sometimes

on this journey,

out here on this land.

And I'm grateful for this place.

It's given me life. It's sustaining me.

I'm becoming a part of this place.

And it's becoming a part of me.

I finished up my carvings.

We got a little spoon set here.

This one is for Cassie, Inukuk.

And we have a little bit smaller of a spoon.

This is for Willow. She's a middle-aged girl.

We got the middle-aged spoon.

And then...

my baby,

baby of the house, Taliiraq,

Kenna Rose.

Spoon for the baby.

Baby spoon for the baby.

My son...

he's getting the action figure.

"Alone," Season 13

little figure.

So I could just see my kids loving them

and enjoy using them. I know they will.

So right now I'm gonna try to check the snares.

I still haven't pooped.

Drank almost two quarts of tilaaqiaq,

Labrador tea,

just trying to get some type of poop out of me.

Set more snares yesterday.

I got plenty out now.

I'm still eating enough to where I'd have to poop,

though, you'd think.

I don't know if that means I'm clogged up or what,

but I'm getting kind of worried.

I have a fear that my stomach can tear open,

my intestine could tear open.

Well, you got a rabbit.

One ukalaitchaq here.

Leave him right there 'cause we'll be back.

I want to keep going. Like, my mind loves it here.

I could stay.

But at what cost?

Like, at the cost of totally messing up my body,

getting sepsis, and dying?

Ukalaitchaq here. Yeah.

Living off of rabbit and fish,

and I can't really eat either right now.

Like, I just don't have the appetite

to eat rabbit or fish.

I hate to sound like a picky baby.

I'm not picky with my food at all.

There's almost nothing I won't eat.

Last one here. This is fresh too.

Oh, baby got chewed up a little bit.

I want to be here. Like, I don't want to go.

But I also don't want my kids to go without a father

for the rest of their lives.

A black bear walking through my backyard again.

He came all the way down the riverbank.

Came up right here next to my shelter.

I'm not too sure where it went.

It might be back, and I'll be ready.

I got the bow and arrow.

Keep an eye out.

I am still in this competition,

mentally and spiritually.

My body is giving up, but I realize that

there's a chance for that black bear.

Best rabbit day ever.

Just kind of laid in bed all morning,

and, uh, I could just lay in bed all day

if I want to,

which is what I might just do.

We'll see.

I just feel like my mind and

my spirit just can be here for the rest of the winter.

But right now, my body can't, just because

it's unable to accept food.

And you need food for energy.

You know, if I stay longer and longer and longer,

could be doing irreversible damage

to my body and my digestive system

and who knows what else.

Maybe my heart.

And that's all not worth winning this

and worth half a million bucks.

Can't believe I'm doing this.

30 days.

I mean, I barely have enough energy

to get out of bed.

I mean, you know, I have food.

I have five, six days worth of food,

but I just have not had an appetite,

and I don't know why.

Hey, it's Will.

I'm--I'm officially tapping out.

The most--

That was the most difficult thing

I ever had to do, I think.

And, uh, it wasn't easy, but

it was the right thing to do.

I haven't anaq -ed in weeks, pooped.

starting to get stomach cramps a week ago.

And, yeah, I don't have energy to do anything

other than just lay here.

I know that my mind and my spirit can.

Right now, my body can't.

So that's something I've just--

I've come to accept.

And it's been by far

the most amazing experience,

other than seeing the birth of each of my four kids

and being there.

I mean, this is right there with it--

just...

being a part of this land, you know, being out here alone.

And just--

it was a beautiful thing,

and I hate to see it come to an end.

Coming out here, I kind of thought,

I'm just a simple Iñupiaq man.

I'm willing to die to win this.

But then you come out here, and you just realize

how much more is involved, including your kids,

including your wife, including everything.

You know, I didn't grow up with a wealthy family

or a high school graduation. None of that.

My culture is all I've had.

And kind of thought, I gotta win this

to represent the Iñupiaq people.

But within the last few days,

I kind of realized just by stepping onto this land,

I've represented them.

The things that I've done,

the traditional ivrulik

that I've made, the tools that I've made,

it was all based on our culture.

It was important to me,

and I would love for it to be just as important to my kids.

I think it's something that they're gonna remember

for the rest of their lives. They will, just as I will.

And they'll be telling their kids about it

and maybe even their grandkids about it,

that a young kid from the tundra,

as I like to say...

Came here on a worldwide stage of survival

and represented the Iñupiaq people.

And that's one thing that I wanted to do

and one thing that I feel like I've done

in the short amount of time that I've had here.

I kind of feel like I found more of the person

who I'm supposed to be.

Elders are extremely important people,

and sometimes I don't think they realize it,

but a lot of knowledge

has been passed down to them, you know?

It's not written in books or TV shows, none of that.

It's all just passed down,

person to person,

and I just absorbed it all.

I'm feeling really proud about that.

And until the day that I die,

I'm gonna pass all that knowledge down to my kids.

This is our history.

I can smell some unpleasant smell.

Each piece of meat spoiling.

This weather sucks.

I've been making a coracle,

which is a small boat.

Let's do it.

My concern is that if I do get cold and wet,

at the very least,

it would mean having to tap out.

At the worst, it could put my life in danger.

Whoa.

My stomach is feeling really funny right now.

Why would this be happening to me?

Just pain.

I don't know why.

It just hurts so bad.

.