Original subtitles

ZEKE: Ever heard of Saint Lawrence?

In the 3rd century,

Emperor Valerian demanded

Lawrence hand over the church's riches.

So, Lawrence gathered the poor, oppressed people of Rome

and presented them to the Emperor, saying,

"Here, these are the treasures of the church."

Valerian, not known for his sense of humour,

ordered Lawrence to be burnt to death on a grill.

As he was burning, Lawrence joked,

"Turn me over, I'm done on this side."

It taught me one thing -

no matter how much pain you're in, just keep smiling.

(BELL TOLLS)

SAM: Zeke.

Zeke!

Zeke!

Focus. The rings.

Right. Sorry.

Are you sure you're up to this?

I think I can carry some rings.

And then you will exchange your first kiss as husband and wife,

and I will read the universal prayer.

Question.

I'm wondering if we can amend the whole

"marriage is only between a man and a woman" part.

Oh, for goodness sakes.

I understand. I do.

But I am legally bound to say it as it is.

Maybe I can say it before the vows.

Darling, this isn't a Facebook post.

People don't really talk about this in their wedding vows.

Yeah? Some people do.

There's videos online of couples saying

that they want the law changed for their gay friends.

Well, our family doesn't have any gay friends.

I just want...

To show respect to the family you're marrying into?

I'm not trying to be disrespectful.

Good. Then we'll just stick with the usual script.

Thank you, Father.

MATT: Since when do you cook?

What, you think I don't have what it takes

to survive on this farm?

I don't normally eat breakfast.

Well, you've got to have something

if you're going to be on the fields all day.

Do you use the barn for much?

It's a shed.

Fine. Do you use the shed for much?

Why?

Well, I was thinking.

You know, it's so quiet out here,

you wouldn't even have to soundproof it

if you were going to turn it into a recording studio.

And why would I do that?

When I'm recording my albums, I can do that anywhere.

I don't need a big city.

I mean, something like the shed would be perfect.

I mean, I can tour the world and play stadiums

while you work in the field, and...

Or you can come with me.

And then, after that, after the tour is over,

I can come back here and I can start it all over again.

You've really got it all figured out, hey?

Yeah.

I mean, when you think about it,

it'd be way better than living in Sydney or even LA.

And you think that's going to work?

Absolutely, yeah.

Really?

Charlie?

Charlie?

It's never gonna work.

(SIGHS)

Why?

You'd never survive here.

You don't know that.

I know what isolation does to people.

We could go somewhere else. Charlie.

You know, there are canola farms in Perth.

Even on the east coast. This is where I belong.

Did I do something wrong?

No.

We're just... not right for each other.

(PENSIVE MUSIC)

You said I'd have my own suit.

The tailor didn't finish in time.

This is better anyway. It has history.

And why do I have to squeeze into someone else's history?

Stop with the whinging.

This is a big day for your mother.

We don't need you making it all about you.

Can we get everyone together?

Just... Great.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

I can't believe this is our last photo as a family.

He's not dying.

Chill out, Mum. It's not like I'm marrying a bloke.

I know.

It just won't be the same. That's all.

Now some photos of just the brothers.

(SNIFFLES) Sorry.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

She's, uh, gonna be like this all day, isn't she?

You think she realises she's not the one getting married?

(GIGGLES)

She's a nightmare. Oh, yeah.

Go on, tell me how hard it is being the golden child.

It's harder than it looks.

(EXHALES HEAVILY) Anyway...

...I'm free now.

You're on your own, bud.

♪ When you have faded away... ♪

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Fuck off.

BEC: Chupa?

♪ May you return to me

♪ May all your battles be easy to fight... ♪

What?

You weren't answering your phone.

Oh! Your room smells like it belongs to Jeffrey Dahmer.

That is the way us gays like it.

Are you OK?

I'm fucking great. Can't you tell?

What happened?

Do I need to cut a bitch?

It's over.

He...

He doesn't want me.

Babe. Please, don't.

I just wasn't enough.

Or was I too much?

Who the fuck knows?

I'm so sorry.

It's his loss.

What was I gonna do on a farm, anyway?

Fucking rock it, that's what.

What are you doing here?

Oh, it's not good timing.

It never is with you.

I got a call from Lorenzo and Nat.

She specifically asked for you

to sing at their bridal waltz tonight.

What's the song?

(SCOFFS)

Don't worry. I'll tell them you're busy.

A wedding's the last place you wanna be right now.

No, I'll do it.

What? You sure?

The show must go on, right?

I'm gonna need you to do me a favour, though.

If you're thinking what I think you're gonna say,

I'm way ahead of you.

(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYS)

Lorenzo, I'm more proud of you

than a father could ever be of his son.

(APPLAUSE)

And Nat, welcome to the family,

even if your Italian still needs a bit of work.

And now a word from my beautiful wife.

(VOICE BREAKS) I can't. Sorry. GUESTS: Aww.

I love you, Natalie Calogero.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I'd like to thank my friends - my chosen family -

for being here, Wendy and Catherine.

I don't have my own parents here today, obviously.

But, uh, to my new parents, Sam and Anna,

and to my new brother, Zeke,

thank you for making me a part of your family too.

(APPLAUSE)

My Italian still isn't perfect, but I just want to say,

grazie mille, mia famiglia.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING)

I was raised to love everyone equally.

So...

...I just want to say that, although the vows

said marriage is only between a man and a woman,

I believe everyone, gay or straight,

should be able to get married.

Love is love.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

OK, that's me done.

Now let's party! Whoo!

(TRADITIONAL ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Jimmy's gonna show you. Don't be scared.

Don't be scared. Come on.

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

And now, signore e signori,

it is time for the most special moment of the evening.

Our newlyweds, Mr and Mrs Lorenzo and Nat Calogero,

will share their first solo dance as husband and wife.

Nat has told us this is a very special song

from the night they first met.

Performed by one of our town's finest musicians.

What is that boy doing here?

(SCOFFS)

(SINGS) ♪ I don't believe in an interventionist God

♪ But I know, darling, that you do

♪ But if I did, I would kneel down and ask Him

♪ Not to intervene when it came to you

♪ Or not to touch a hair on your head

♪ Leave you as you are

♪ And if He felt the need to direct you

♪ Then direct you into my arms

♪ Into my arms

♪ Oh, Lord, into my arms

Hey! Hello. ♪ Oh, Lord

♪ Into my arms...

I'm really glad that you're a part of our family.

Me too.

It's nice having a little brother.

The mother-in-law bit? Meh.

(BOTH LAUGH)

♪ But I believe in love...

You know, I brought him here for you.

Why?

Isn't he your... you know?

No! No! It's OK.

You don't have to worry.

No, he's not.

But you are...?

Yeah.

I got your back, little bro.

No matter what.

And I know there's someone you're into.

And whoever he may be...

...he would be lucky to have you.

You're a special guy.

I just hope you know that.

(HALF-LAUGHS) Yeah?

Thank you... sis.

♪ Into my arms, O Lord

♪ Into my arms. ♪

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Go, Charlie!

We're gonna take a quick break,

but the DJ will keep the floor pumping.

Hi. Charlie, isn't it?

Can I help you?

Oh, that was a beautiful performance.

You're a very talented young man,

but I think you understand why you have to leave,

at once.

Seriously?

You're not even gonna offer me some cake?

(HALF-LAUGHS) OK, let's not make a scene.

I just think everyone would be a lot more comfortable

if you just left.

Cake?

Sure.

(GUESTS MURMUR)

You knocked it out of my hands.

I know. Just pick it up.

Zeke.

People are watching.

(WHISPERS) Pick it up.

OK.

(GUESTS GASP)

Zeke! That's Nonno's suit!

Oh!

(GUESTS EXCLAIM, MURMUR)

Do you want some cake?

Sure.

(GUESTS EXCLAIM)

(LAUGHS)

(ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS PLAYS)

Do you wanna dance?

But it's Kylie.

Well, maybe we are those gays.

♪ Don't say

♪ It's like a fantasy

Italian weddings are a bit different, aren't they, eh?

♪ Know this is how it should be

♪ You kiss me

♪ I'm falling

♪ Can you hear me calling?

♪ You touch me

♪ I want you

♪ Feels like I've always known you

♪ On a night like this

♪ I wanna stay forever, stay forever... ♪

(CHARLIE AND ZEKE LAUGH)

Oh, my God.

Ohh!

Holy shit. Your dad's face!

They are gonna literally burn me alive tomorrow.

Worth it, though?

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

There he is!

Zekey boy!

Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em! Whoo!

Oh.

Are you good?

Of course.

Gents.

Well, look who it is.

Hope I'm not disturbing you.

Nuh. Not at all.

I'm gonna give you guys the gift of space.

Are you sure you're OK?

Yes, Mum.

I'm just gonna go hang with Bec.

Go nuts.

Are you OK with me being here?

(SIGHS) Depends.

You gonna be nice? I'm always nice.

(SCOFFS)

Except for when I've had a few. Ha.

And out with the boys.

And I'm scared the person I like...

...doesn't like me back.

And they ignore my texts.

Pretty low of that person to leave you on read.

Mmm. Real low.

Maybe he was trapped on the party bus from hell.

And I bet his mother

confiscated his phone, or something.

I hear she's a real pain in the arse, that one.

Hey! Only I can say that.

(LAUGHS)

If I tell you that I like you...

...will you stay the same person

or are you gonna change every time your mates come around?

And if I wanted to kiss you...

...right here, where anyone could see...

...would you freak out or would you let me?

Because I'm done being invisible.

You have no idea how much I wish I'd been the one

dancing up there with you tonight.

You are a total alpha.

Even if you were covered in cake.

Some delicious, delicious cake.

(LAUGHS) Shut the fuck up.

(HUMS MELODY)

(ZEKE LAUGHS)

On a night like this.

I got an idea.

(MOANS DEEPLY)

Somebody just woke up.

I've never been touched there.

I can stop if you want.

(BOTH MOANING)

OK, wait. Wait one second.

This might help. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Mmm...

Ooh!

Gently. Gently.

How's that?

(MOANS GENTLY) Keep going.

It's good.

It's so good.

Alright. Are you ready?

Yeah. Do it.

Yeah.

OK.

(WHIMPERS SOFTLY)

Wait. Here.

OK.

(GRUNTS) What?

Don't just shove it in there! Slowly!

(LAUGHS) Sorry. Fuck!

OK.

OK. How's that?

Keep going.

Oh, man.

Is that all of it? Nearly.

(GRUNTS) Oh, there. Stay there.

Don't move.

(BOTH BREATHE DEEPLY)

Are you OK?

Yeah.

Would it have killed you to be a little smaller?

(ZEKE LAUGHS)

(MOANS)

I can stop if you want.

No. Definitely don't stop.

(ZEKE LAUGHS)

(HAMMER GROANS)

(MOANS DEEPLY) (LAUGHS)

(PHONE BUZZES)

Hey.

(LAUGHS) Well, that was one for the ages.

Where did you go?

Just hanging with Zeke on the beach.

We gotta debrief.

Coffee at Do-Me in the morning?

Sure.

Are you OK?

You sound... far away.

You don't have to worry about me.

Goodbye, Bec.

(LAUGHS)

You stayed.

Yeah.

I kinda expected you to bail.

I thought about it.

Especially after it got messy.

Occupational hazard.

It's lucky we had the towel.

(BOTH LAUGH) Yeah.

So why didn't you leave?

I liked having you in my arms too much.

(LAUGHS)

So...

...does this mean I gotta go to the Brownlows with you?

I'm not getting into the AFL.

I fucked it up.

Shit.

I'm sorry, Hammer.

It's always meant everything to me.

Becoming some big AFL star.

Now that's gone...

...I don't know who I'm meant to be.

Whoever you wanna be.

There's one thing I just don't get.

How are you so beautiful?

(SCOFFS, LAUGHS) Oh.

No, you're... Shh.

You don't have to say it back. Just take my compliment.

You're the most beautiful person

I've ever seen in my life.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(EXHALES)

So, are we gonna talk about last night?

We will.

But we will not be making another scene

in front of all of our family and friends.

So just smile and eat your breakfast.

And we will talk when we get home.

You've said enough. Mm.

You know, that's just not gonna work for me.

If you've got something to say, just say it now.

I told you this day was important to your mother.

And you ruined it.

Ruined what?

Mum was the one tossing cake around.

(SOFTLY) Shut up. You scandalised our family.

Oh, talk about being a drama queen.

And I thought I was the faggot.

(BANGS TABLE) Disgraziato!

Why are you trying to destroy us?

Because this isn't about you. It's about me.

We are your parents!

Not anymore you're not.

I'm done trying to please you.

(WOMAN SOBBING QUIETLY)

(INDISTINCT MUTTERING)

(INAUDIBLE)

What's wrong? What happened?

(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)

(THUD!)

Charlie!

Charlie!

Please be here. Please be here. Please be here.

Zeke, what's wrong?

(SOMBRE MUSIC)