All language subtitles for The.Princess.Diaries.2001.eng-RETAIL

HI removed: Xenzai[NEF]

Time for school!

Stop daydreaming.
You'll be late for school.

Hey, Louie. Come on.

It's time to go to school.

- Are you feeling confident?
- Not really.

Okay, now just remember,
when you make your speech,

don't look at the people.

Pick a spot on the back wall.
Don't take your eyes off of it,

- and speak loudly.
- Thanks, Mom.

- Bye, Mom.
- Good luck.

Morning, Buttons.

Be nice, Buttons.

Whoa. Whoa!

Sorry,
Mr Robutusen.

Have a nice day.

I doubt it.

Whoo!

Hey there, ho there.

How do you do?

This is Grove Lions
sayin' hi to you.

I'm Lana...
Anna...

Fontana.

Go Lions!

Josh!

Josh!
What are you doing?

Oh, he's such
a show-off.

Off the wall, please.
Jeremiah, off the wall, please.

Come on. You know
better than that.

Good morning, Miss Gupta.

Morning, Lilly...

Lilly's friend.

You know,
as manager of the team,

I really think you should
be a part of the team.

Oh, oh! Oops.

I'm sorry,
I didn't see you.

Uh, I was thinking--

Somebody sat
on me again.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I don't know
what happened.

I was just sitting there,
working on my speech--

It's really a dumb class--

-Jerk and jerkette sighting.
- Hmm?

- What?
- What?

You never saw two idiots
exchange saliva before?

Oh. Yeah.

They're so rude.

Good. You know,
for a second there,

I thought you were
going A-crowd on me.

Oh, heh.
Negative.

Ready for debate?

I'm never
ready for debate.

Go, Josh!

So this is not a debate.
This is a control issue.

Grove controls our minds
with what they teach us.

But you know what?
They're not satisfied with that.

I think Grove should
dump the uniforms

and we have casual dress
all year round!

All right, all right. Okay,
girls, settle down. Settle down.

This is a debate,
and after it's over,

I want you back
in your school uniform.

- Hey, boss, whatever you say.
-Josh, sit down.

- He's the man.
- He's my man.

Okay, Josh.
Later. Later, okay?

Down, down, boy.
You made your point.

Okay, so, uh, now
we've all heard

from Josh Bryant
for the affirmative.

I love that sound.

What's my point again?

You like our uniforms.
They're equalizers.

Now we'll hear the rebuttal
from Mia Thermopolis,

who will present
the negative argument

against our proposition.

Come on, Mia!

Whoo-hoo!

Um, I think, um--

What a frizz-ball.

Look at her hair.

Shh!

Um--

We're waiting.

Uh--

Say something!

You see, um, I--

See, casual--
c-casual, uh--

Are you okay?

She's gonna barf.

Look out!
She's gonna hurl!

Cover the tuba!

Okay, okay.
Everybody settle down.

Mia! Finish up
with Mrs Taubman,

and then you can
take a break.

Another huge tip
from Mrs Hersh.

Oh, and I got one
from Mrs Taubman.

We are doing all right today.

Mr Walsh's ropes are twisted.

Mr Walsh, stop twisting!

You'll strangle yourself!

Hi, Mom.

You threw up, huh?

And you ran away.

I'm trying to forget about it.

Can I have some shoes
and chalk, please?

Anyway, I'll go talk
to your debate teacher--

- What's his name?
- Mr O'Connell.

- And straighten it all out.
- Mm-hmm.

Mom, I am never going to be
a good public speaker.

Just call him and tell him
I wanna be a mime.

- I can do that.
- Here you go.

Oh, your grandmother called.

- What?
- The live one.

Who lives in Genovia.
Clarisse.

Oh. Wow.

This is the first time
she's ever contacted us.

- What'd she want?
- She's in town.

She wants to have tea.

Tea? She came all the way
from Europe to have tea?

I think I'm gonna
climb a little bit.

Rocks Around the Clock.

Isn't this the grandmother

who made you two
get a divorce?

Uh, well, she didn't
approve of me,

but Phillipe and I made the
decision to divorce on our own.

Why should I go see
the snobby lady who ignores us?

Mia, she's your
father's mother.

Just go see her tomorrow.

- Please?
- Tension.

She said your father hoped

that you two would
meet someday.

All right, I'll--I'll go.

Whoo!

Okay, all right, I win.

Band practice is over.

I have a music class here.
Out!

All right. Let's have the third
group try "Catch a Falling."

Hey, Charles, do you
wanna be in the front?

- Okay, thanks.
- No problem.

Michael.

Are you sure you can't help me

with my spotted owl
petition today?

I told you, I'm meeting
my grandmother after school.

Oh, right.

The school tours
are on Saturday, young lady.

I'm here for a meeting
with my grandmother.

Name?

Clarisse Renaldi.

Oh. Uh, please come
to the front door.

Thank you very much.

Get off the grass!

Welcome, Miss Thermopolis.

We've been expecting you.

Oh, be careful.

Please don't crush my soy nuts.

Your soy nuts are safe.

Okay.

Right this way.

Please, uh, make
yourself comfortable.

For their daughter Marissa.

She's allergic
to peanuts.

And we need new pillows
for the prime minister's wife.

She's allergic
to goose feathers.

Hello, Amelia.

I'm Charlotte, from
the Genovian Attach� Corps.

Hi. It's nice
to meet you.

Um, where am I?

The Genovian Consulate.

You've got pears
in your flowers.

Genovian pears.
We're famous for them.

Now, if you'll sit down,

she'll be with you
in a moment.

No, I don't need
a moment. I'm here.

Amelia, I'm so glad
you could come.

Hi. You've got
a great place.

Thank you.

Well, let me
look at you.

You look so...

young.

Thank you.

And y-you look so...

clean.

Uh, Charlotte,
would you go

and check on tea
in the garden?

Please, sit.

So, um, my mom
said you wanted

to talk to me about
something. Shoot.

Oh, before I "shoot,"

I have something
I want to give you.

- Here.
- Oh, um, thank you.

Wow.

It's the Genovian crest.

It was mine
when I was young.

Uh, and that was
my great-grandmother's.

Heh. I'll keep this safe.

I will take
good care of it.

Now, what did you
want to tell me?

Something that I think will have

a very big impact upon your life.

I already had braces.

No, it's--it's bigger
than orthodontia.

The tea is served, ma'am.

Amelia, have you ever heard

of Eduard Christoff
Phillipe G�rard Renaldi?

No.

He was the crown prince
of Genovia.

Hmm.

What about him?

Eduard Christoff
Phillipe G�rard Renaldi...

was your father.

Yeah, sure.

My father was
the Prince of Genovia.

Uh-huh.
You're joking.

Why would I joke about
something like that?

No! No, 'cause
if he's really a prince,

- then I--
- Exactly.

You're not just
Amelia Thermopolis.

You are Amelia Mignonette
Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

Me? A princess?

Shut up!

I beg your pardon?
Shut up?

Your Majesty, in America,

it doesn't always
mean "be quiet."

Here it could mean, "wow,"
"gee whiz," "golly"--

Oh, I--I understand.
Thank you.

Nevertheless,
you are the princess.

And I am Queen
Clarisse Renaldi.

Why on earth
would you pick me

to be your princess?

Since your father died,
you are the natural heir

to the throne of Genovia.

That's our law.

I'm royal by marriage.

You are royal by blood.

You can rule.

Rule? Oh, no.

Oh, no.
No, no, no.

Now you have really
got the wrong girl.

I never lead anybody--

Not at-- Not at Brownies,

not at Camp Fire girls--

Um, Queen Clarisse,
my expectation in life

is to be invisible,
and I'm good at it.

Amelia, I had other
expectations also.

In my wildest dreams

I never expected this
to happen.

But you are
the legal heir--

the only heir--
to the Genovian throne,

and we will
accept the challenge

of helping you become
the princess that you are.

Oh, I can give you books.

You will study languages,
history, art, political science.

I can teach you to
walk, talk, sit, stand,

eat, dress like a princess.

And, given time, I think
you'll find the palace in Genovia

- a very pleasant place to live.
- Live in Genovia?

It's a wonderful
country, Amelia, really.

Whoa, whoa.Just--

Rewind and freeze.

I'm no princess.

I'm still waiting for
normal body parts to arrive.

I refuse to move to
and rule a country and--

Do you want another reason?
I don't want to be a princess!

Oh, uh, Amelia.
Amelia!

Amelia,
come back here!

Ohh!

Well, that went well, didn't it?

Um, perhaps she
needs more time.

Will you help me?

Miss Thermopolis?

I'm the head of your security

and you want me to be
a chauffeur and a baby-sitter?

For the time being, yes.
The child needs protection.

For 15 years

you couldn't
find a spare minute

to tell me that
my father is a royal?

I thought I was doing
the right thing.

Oh, the right thing
for who, Mom?

For all of us.

I mean, if we
secretly divorced,

he would be able
to find a woman

who would stay by his side
in Genovia and produce heirs,

and I would be free
to live my life with you.

I mean, please!
We met in college!

I was young!
I--I wanted to paint.

I mean, can you see me walking
one step behind someone

for the rest of my life?

I mean, with rules
and regulations

and the waving and the bowing
and the scraping?

I mean, I was scared!

Well, living with a mother who
lied to me for 1 5 years scares me.

Where are you going?

I'm going to straighten up
the royal bedchamber.

After the divorce,
we all discussed it.

Your father
and your grandmother

both agreed
to keep that distance

so you would have a chance
of a normal childhood,

free of emotional complications.

We were going to tell you
when you were 18 years old,

but when your father died,
things changed, Mia.

We wanted to protect you.

Okay, you know what?

I don't feel protected.

You try living for 15 years

thinking that
you're one person,

and then in five minutes you
find out that you're a princess.

You know what?
Just in case

I'm not enough
of a freak already,

let's add a tiara!

Well, drink your soup.

I'm not really hungry.

Fine.
Goodnight, sweetheart.

Fat Louie...

you are so lucky

you don't know who
your parents are.

I've never ridden
in a limo...

he admitted bitterly
to himself

as he crossed
to the open window

and looked out at the bay,
the fog looming

like his pathetic life
before him.

I can't believe
I won an Emmy.

I have this favourite
photo of Phillipe.

We had so much fun
when we were here in college.

He was-- He was so
full of joie de vivre,

always laughing
and smiling.

I remember.

Helen, if Amelia refuses
to accept the throne,

then Genovia will cease
to exist as we know it.

So the future
of your country

is in the hands
of my 1 5-year-old?

Here it is.

Oh.

Phillipe was ready to be king.

Then the terrible accident.

Even though it didn't
work out between us,

I loved your son very much.

Thank you.

Well, as always,

this is as good
as it's gonna get.

Hmm.

I can't wait until she's 18.

Oh, this is a nightmare.

I'm going back to bed.

Mia, the-- the three
of us have to talk.

Oh, okay. Is there something
else about me and my life

that just maybe I might
want to know about?

Oh, no. Are you two waiting to
take me on a talk show somewhere

to let me know that I have
a twin sister who's a duchess?

You have a cousin
who's a contessa,

fondly known
as Bartholomew.

Actually, we
call him Pookie.

Yesterday did not go well.

Will you just listen
to your grandmother?

Amelia, in
a matter of weeks,

we have an annual ball.

I was-- I am hoping
that I may present you

to the press and the public
on that occasion.

However, you desperately
need some instruction.

I speak for the entire
Genovian parliament

and the royal family.

And I speak
for this family.

Excuse me,

I don't have a family
with either one of you

because you ignored me
for 15 years

and you lied to me.

Families don't do stuff
like that to one another, okay?

Where is she going?

The tower.

Mia, you can't run
from everything!

She has a tower?

Please?
Just come down from there.

You know, most kids
hope for a car

for their 1 6th birthday,
not a country!

Just make yourself
comfortable.

Oh!

This is getting us nowhere!
Talk to me.

I can't talk
to you right now.

I'm late for a meeting
with my guidance counsellor.

I'm late for a meeting
with Spain and Portugal.

I have a thought.

Mia promises to attend
princess lessons until your ball.

Well, it's not my ball.

It's Genovia's Annual
Independence Day Ball.

I'm sorry.

Mia promises neither
to accept nor reject

your offer to be royal
until this grand ball,

and then she makes
her decision.

Now, can you
both live with that?

It seems I have no option.

If I have to.

But I want not one word
of this until that evening.

- Is that understood?
- Duh.

The press
would have a field day.

Well. Let's not keep Spain
and Portugal waiting.

I'm gonna be 16 this year,
and my mom traded two paintings

to get me a 1 966 Mustang.

You do know what
a Mustang is, right?

I raise mustangs.

That is not a sensible car
for a princess.

Well, it's not really a sensible car
for anyone. It doesn't run.

Well, I suppose I could donate
something to this vehicle.

Good morning,
Mr Robutusen.

- Who is this gentleman?
- Oh, he's my neighbour,

but you wouldn't
want to meet him.

He doesn't have
very nice manners.

Good morning.

There's someone
I want you to meet.

Okay. Whoa.

You have two limousines?

One is yours.

Do you raise limousines too?

No. Amelia, this is Joseph.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

The elegant European woman
didn't stay for tea...

Thanks.

but the promise of tomorrow
hung in the air.

Ooh!

- Uh, Princess?
- Hmm?

Princess, may I point out

that no matter
how many times you push it,

it will go up and down
the same way.

Joseph, can we
eighty-six the flags? Please?

No. The flags allow me
to park anywhere.

We keep the flags.

Sorry,Joseph.

You can call me Joe.

Joey?

No.Joe.

Did I miss something?

Are we going to a wedding?

Uh, no. School.

No, this is the,
uh, surprise ride.

This is Joe.

Joe, Lilly.
Lilly,Joe.

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

You know,
you look like Shaft?

Yes.

Excuse me.

- You want a ride, right?
- Yeah, totally.

- Okay, hey, I got it.
- Of course.

Okay.

Oh, my word!

Please fasten
your seat belts, ladies.

Is your mother
dating an undertaker?

Uh, no.

This long-lost
grandmother showed up,

and she wants me to use it.

And?

I--I don't know.

I guess she's just trying to be
nice to get me to like her.

Oh.

Hey, Joe?

Can you please park
a block away from school?

I really don't want
to cause a riot

with this hearse.

This is a non-riot hearse.

And if it were a hearse,

there would be silence
in the back seat.

Hey there, ho there,

how do you do?

This is Grove Lions
sayin' hi to you.

Go Lions!

This is a reminder.

Virtual homework
may not be submitted

for actual credit.

Tell me, Mia.
Is it true about your speech?

Are you really speaking
at the bulimic convention?

So you can speak and barf
at the same time?

Good.
Good glove, Michael. Way to go.

That's the way
to make the play.

I'm gonna let this one go, Mia.
Try catching, all right?

- Are you sure?
- It's slow-pitch.

You can catch it on a bounce.
Don't worry about it. Okay?

Now get it and throw it
back to the pitcher.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Uhh.

- I am so sorry. I--
- Mm.

- I'm really-- I--
- Mm.

- I didn't mean to, and I'm--
- Mm.

- Can I help you?
- Ice. Get me ice.

And I'm on the verge
of becoming a nutcase,

and my parents think
I need an attitude adjustment.

Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Sorry. Yeah, so my dad wants
to take me out to dinner tonight,

just the two of us.

We ran out of things to talk about
when I was eight.

Well, at least
your dad's still alive.

Hey.

I thought you'd
gotten over that.

It's been, what?
Two months?

I know, I know.

But, after all,
he was my dad.

Biologically, yes,
but you never met the man.

Just a nice card and gift
on your birthday for 1 5 years?

Hey, be fair, okay?
They were beautiful presents.

Remember that Faberg�
merry-go-round he sent me?

That was nice.

And he paid
for my school tuition.

Yeah, I guess so.

You know, Lilly,
I gotta run, okay?

I gotta go see your brother
about my baby.

Okay, but let's take
the limo tomorrow.

These hills
are killin' me.

Heh. You got it.

He fixes cars, he plays guitar,
and he can sing.

He is so hot!

He is wicked sweet.

Hello. Talk loud,
I got a band rehearsing.

You've been listening
to the sounds of flypaper.

We're flying
away nOw.

All right, stop yelling.
They're finished.

Hey, that's-- Oh,
it's sounding really good.

You know,
Ned is really wailing.

Hello, Mia.

Hey, Doc.

So, what's the diagnosis
for my baby?

$400.

Yeah, I know.
It costs to be cool, huh?

This is not my day.

I'll do some labour free.

Thanks, but I'll talk
to my grandma about it.

It'll be great.

Anyway, I'll see
you guys later, okay?

I gotta be somewhere.

Ooh.
"I'll do some labour free."

Heh. You, uh,
sweet on her?

She's my sister's
best friend!

Yeah, that's
the hardest place to be.

Between friend and, uh,
friendlier, huh?

- Uh--

Your Majesty, the diplomatic
pouch has arrived, and she's here.

Send her in.

Yes, ma'am.

I need more roses--
Red, white, mauve. Mauve!

Miss Amelia, welcome.

Hi.

Straight ahead
to your left.

Her Majesty is ready
for you in the library.

Charlotte,
take notes, will you?

Amelia, circle slowly

so I can evaluate
the work to be done.

Amelia!

Does your bad posture
affect your hearing?

- Turn.
- Oh, sorry.

No, no, no.
Slowly, turn.

Slowly. Thank you.

Well, carriage,
obviously. Hairstyle.

Complexion.

Stop!

Eyes, lovely.

But hidden beneath
bushman eyebrows.

The neck is seemly.

Ears...

like her father.

Really?
They are?

Oh, my! Who has
nails like these?

Everybody.

Well, tomorrow I would
like to see clean fingers.

And you will
wear stockings.

Not tights,
not socks.

And I never want to see
those shoes again.

When walking in a crowd,

one is under scrutiny
all the time.

So we don't shlump,
like this.

We drop the shoulders,

we think tall.

We tuck under, and we
transfer the weight

from one foot to--

No. Princesses never
cross their legs in public.

Why don't you just tuck
one ankle behind the other

and place the hands
gracefully on the knees?

Aah!

Charlotte, I think
it's time for tea.

Tell me,
how does my mother--

or, really, any person,
for that matter--

go into a parent-teacher
conference

and come out
with a date?

Mia, Mr O'Connell
is not married,

he's not living
with anyone,

plus he's not pierced,
tattooed, or hair-plugged.

Do you realize how rare a find
that is south of Market Street?

Okay, did it ever
occur to you

that if you dated
one of my teachers,

it would give the other kids licence
to mock me for the rest of my life?

No, you're right.
I didn't, and I'm sorry.

It's just that Patrick--

Mr O'Connell--
is such a nice man.

He's a real gentleman,
and I haven't met one of those

in a long, long time.

Okay, okay. It's--
It's fine.

I just can't do anything
right any more, can I?

Come on!
Go for it!

Come on, get her!
In your face!

Come on, come on!

Just block one, Mia.
Just block one!

I can't do this.
I'm a girl.

What am I, a duck?

No! I mean--

You're an athletic girl, okay?

I am a synchronized swimming,

yoga-doing, um,
horseback-riding,

wall-climbing type girl.

My hand-eye
coordination is zero.

All right, you can go again later.
Josh! Get in here.

Yeah, I'm in.

So, I was watching you earlier,
and, um, you're way tense.

You know what I'm saying?

You gotta think like the ball.
You gotta be the ball.

You gotta stop it.
Know what I mean?

- Heh?
- Heh.

Bring it on.

- Hey,Joe?
- Mm-hmm?

I'm gonna turn the back seat
into a dressing room

so I can change into a proper
outfit for madame, okay?

Yes, well, don't
forget your shoes.

Oh, thanks.

Strange town,
San Francisco.

When I purchased
the pumps,

they asked if I
wanted them wrapped

or if I wanted
to wear them.

All right, closing.

Going up.

Aah!

You all right?

Yeah. Oh, I'm fine.

- Going down.
- Whoo!

I've never put on panty hose,
but it sounds dangerous.

Grandma,
Is it customary in Genovia

to imprison your dinner guests

with, um, with hermeez scarves?

It's Hermes.

The scarf is merely
a training tool.

Eventually you will
learn to sit

and eat properly
without it.

Manners matter.

But enough etiquette
for the day.

Now, Genovia does a lot
of trade with Spain,

- so we prepare for that.
- Sorry.

The quickest way to
a Spanish heart is dance.

Shall we?

Now tell me, what kind
of dancing do you do?

Dancing? Oh, just
the normal kind,

you know, like, um...

I see.

We have a Genovian alternative.

Now, the dances here
are very sedate,

right from the hips.

In place.

No bobbing
of the head, please.

It's not a doggy
on a dashboard.

Straight, straight, straight up.
Let's practise this here.

Now, this dance is

between a waltz
and a tango, you see?

It's a wango?

No.

All right, here we go.
Spin out.

Spin out.

And spin into me.
Spin into-- Uhh!

Okay.

I-- No, no.
No, no, no, no.

- Try again. One more spin.
- No.

Very quickly, now pull away.

That's it. Good.

Good attitude.
Spin in.

- Good.
- I did it?

Yes.

Grandma, I spun without
hurting anyone!

That's very good news.

Spin, spin, spin.
Yes, done.

Better.
It's coming along.

Now you may go home.

Thank you!
See you tomorrow!

Thank you,Joseph.

You've been wearing
black too long.

This is Coach Harbula.

You can sign up now
for the Baker Beach party.

Oh! Sorry. Sorry.

Hey, hey, Bobby Bad!

Sorry.

Mia! Are you ready?

Oh, hey. Oh, I'm really sorry,
but I can't do it today.

I've got a grandma thing,
and just--

I'll call you, okay? Bye.

What? Has your grandma
turned into the big bad wolf?

Shazam.

Cute,Jeremiah,
but a way to a girl's heart

is not by treating her
like a vending machine.

Get off the grass!

- Hi, Adolpho! I'm late!
- She's late.

- You're late.
- I know.

I'm really sorry about it--

- And where is Paolo?
- Send in Paolo.

Ah! Always prompt.

My assistant,
Gretchen and Helga.

Good afternoon.

We're so pleased you could make
yourself available to be here.

Your Majesty.

Uh, we won't waste time.
Let the work begin.

Ah. Of course.

Where is
the beautiful girl?

My granddaughter
Amelia.

Aah!

She is gorgeous.
Let us take a closer look.

Paolo, we have a limited
number of days

before the state dinner.

Frizzy, busy, dizzy.

In the best sense.

Oh, I would like it
if your ladies would also sign

our confidentiality agreement.

Majesty, they know
what is a secret, eh?

Excuse me, Your Majesty.

The Genovian press secretary's
waiting for your call.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, I'm afraid I'm
going to have to leave

and come back
and be surprised.

Uh--

Charlotte, watch
him like a hawk.

Buerste, Helga!

Danke.

So we begin, Principessa, eh?

In Paolo's hands, remember,

you will be beautiful.

You have thick hair.

Like a wolf.

Ow!

Is all right.

Do you wear
contact lenses?

Well, I have them,

but I don't really like
to wear them that much.

Now you do.

You broke my glasses!

You broke my brush.

Gretchen! Helga! Attack!

I love your eyebrows.

We'll call them
"Frida"and "Kahlo. "

If Brooke Shields
married Groucho Marx,

that child would have
your eyebrows.

Do you want to know
a big secret?

Tell me.

The cucumber,
it does nothing.

This is something we make up.

Majesty, Paolo is exhausted.

Because Majesty,
only Paolo can take this...

and this... and give you--

A princess.

Better.
Much better.

Mille grazie.

Why don't we go and have
a wonderful cup of tea?

Si.

Come, Mia.

Lilly, the car's here!

I'm coming!

Thanks for the ride.
Thank you.

Hey.

What?

Michael, don't always think
you can get a ride with us.

Oy.

Who destroyed you?

Oh. Um, y-you think
it looks that bad?

You look ridiculous.
You should sue.

Well, um--

I know it's a little
straighter and shorter--

Weirder!

An attractive weirder.

No. It's not attractive.

Seat belts, please.

What I really
can't understand--

you ditched me
again yesterday

when I really needed your help
on the Greenpeace petition.

This bag! You have
one of these bags?

You know we could hock that

and feed a whole
third-world country?

Am I right?

No.

If there are
no more passengers,

I think we should
close the door.

I mean, you used
to care more about

what was inside your head
instead of on it.

Come on, Mia. Fess up.

I don't know where
you are these days,

and now you're turning
into an A-crowd wannabe?

You're morphing into
one of them!

And who knows, next week

you could be waving
pom-poms in my face.

You sold out!

Was my rearview mirror
fogging up

or was someone
tearing back there?

I'm fine.

Very well. Then I'll go
meet your grandmother.

But you should know

that no one can make you feel
inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that.

Yes. Another special lady
like yourself.

I'll be back at 3:00.

Thank you.

She has a hat.

Do you really think
wearing that hat

will keep people from
seeing your new Lana-do?

Just because
the student population

might be morally bankrupt,
doesn't mean they're blind.

Lilly!
Just stop it, okay?

Just because your hair
sucks, get off mine!

Ouch. Thank you.

Michael, can you please
pretend you have a life

for just one moment?

Hey, relax. Breathe.

What did you just say to me?

You heard me.

I am so sick

of you ragging
on me all the time

and always telling
me what to do.

I get enough of that
from my mother

and now my grandmother,
and I don't need it from you!

I'm not an idiot,

so I know something's going on
that you're not telling me!

Friends tell,
so you know what?

Here is your
friendship charm.

I'm taking it off,
and it's going in the dirt!

Don't do that, okay?
Just-- Ugh!

All right, just wait.

Why?

I will tell you the truth,

but you're gonna think
it's really stupid

and you're gonna freak.

Try me.

Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Is that all you can say?

I'm sorry I was harsh,

and I don't know what
else there is to say.

Will you come
on my cable show?

No, I can't. This is
a royal secret, okay?

You can't tell anyone.
Not even Michael.

Especially not Michael.
But you are sworn to secrecy.

- Of course.
- Secret handshake.

You know, we might have to
think of a new secret handshake.

Are you really sure
you can run a country?

I mean, you can barely
keep your goldfish alive

for more than
a couple of days.

Lilly, I'm really sure
of anything right now.

Listen. There are pros and cons
to being a princess.

Shh! Don't say that word.
People can hear.

Okay!

Class has begun!

Class has begun and I have
a little surprise for you.

Pop quiz.
French Revolution.

Oh, Mr O'Connell,
there's a school rule

that says nobody's allowed
to wear hats in class.

And I don't think anybody should be
an exception to that rule, do you?

No, Lana.

Mia, I'm sorry, but hats
are against the dress code.

Mia?

Mama Mia.

Look who's trying to fit in now.

It's a wig, right?

I think it looks
really sweet, Mia.

Looks like she got
a head transplant.

Well, I think it rocks.
And you know what?

Voltaire. Hair.

I would personally like
to learn about Voltaire.

Okay, Lilly, okay.

Okay, everybody
settle down now.

Quiz time, okay?

The roses are lovely.
But now we need fountains,

lights in the trees.

The Japanese Embassy has
a waterfall, for heaven's sake.

Why can't
we have fountains?

We have a fountain
up there, ma'am.

Yes, well, I would like
at least two in here.

Charlotte, just make me an Eden.

Yes, ma'am.

- Mmm. Amelia?
- Hmm?

Let's continue.

In your spare time,
I would like you to read these.

"What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose
by any other word

would smell as sweet."

And so you wave to them

and acknowledge them gracefully.

Hello.

No. Not quite so big,
because, of course,

it's very, very
exhausting after a while.

Very funny, dear.
Try it properly.

Waving--
even more gently--

you sort of say,
"Thank you for being here today."

- Thank you.
- For being here.

I'm sorry, ma'am. I must
pick up the prime minister.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, well.

Thank you for being here today.

So this is considered art?

My parents
did this in the sixties.

Yes! They had an exhibition
at Woodstock.

And I guess you're trying
to bring it back?

Well, yeah,
this beats homework.

Yeah. Some moms help
their kids with homework,

- we do this.
- Yeah.

Oh, nice shot!

Oh, yes, I like it.

Bull's-eye!

Yeah!
I did it!

This is more fun
than princess lessons.

What are you doing
this Saturday night?

Oh, are you guys
playing?

We're rehearsing
some new things.

- We got two new songs.
- Oh, yeah?

Plus, surprise, we got
the new parts for your 'Stang.

Oh, yea.

We could put it together
together.

Okay. Well, is this like a date?

No.

Music, cars.

- Well, would it include pizza?
- Of course. Pizza's a given.

With M&Ms?

Wait up! Wait for me!

Not you!
I don't even know you!

- Well, then, I am in.
- Great!

Hi! Whoo-hoo!

Saturday, it's on?

Yeah. Great.
Hi. Hey, Lil.

- Hi.
- What's up?

- What's happening over there?
- I don't know.

What's going on?

- Maybe it's a protest.
- Maybe.

Um, excuse me. Hi.

Who are you all
waiting for?

There she is right there!
That's Mia Thermopolis!

We're waiting for you.

Right here, Princess!
Talk to me!

Lilly, did you tell?

I didn't say anything!

Princess Mia!
Who's your favourite actor?

Why are they calling
her "Princess?"

Princess Mia,
what do you do about pimples?

Come on.
Let's just go, please!

Can we quote you,
Your Majesty?

Come on, Mia.
Let's get inside.

Oh, Mia! Ohh!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Excuse me, mister? Hi!

The phone's ringing off the hook.

What?!

Oh!

Mia, your mother's on her way.

Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

The queen is coming
to Grove High School.

A limo with flags!

A Genovian
limousine has arrived.

The queen is getting out.

Your Majesty,
why all the secrets?

All we keep hearing
is "No comment."

Do you have a comment?

- Your Majesty.
- Will you be visiting the White House?

Are you taking
the princess home?

Mom, I don't know
who told on me.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

Here's your tea,
Your Majesty.

I'm sorry we don't
have finer china.

That's perfectly all right.

Here.

Joseph?

- Speak.
- Paolo?

Majesty, it was I who told
the press about you, Principessa.

I outed you, so to speak.
I don't mean to imply--

- Grazie. Ahh.
- Prego.

But not for money,
Principessa.

Paolo hates money.
He spits on money.

There was no money.

Well, there
was some money.

After all, a man like me,
each ring is--

The point is,
it was pride and ego

who drove me to know
that royalty would see one day

the beauty was mine!
The hair was mine!

That I, Paolo Puttanesca,
was responsible for-- Grazie.

Prego.

By the way, your hair--
magnificent.

The next time,
we go a little lighter, huh?

Your Highness,
would you like to say anything?

Isn't that just awful?

Doesn't anyone respect
royalty any more?

What is it like in
Genovia, Your Majesty?

Do people just fawn over you?

I wonder, would you give us
a moment alone?

I'm the vice principal.

Joseph, would you take
this fine educator

and show her your security plans
for Amelia's safety?

What?

Ah, yes, of course.

Your Majesty, thank you.

Your security system
is a bit lax.

Oh, is it?

A week ago,
Mia was a normal little kid.

She has never been normal.
She was born royal.

And we cope with the press
every single day,

and we will do it again.

You don't have to do this.

You can get out of
this whole thing right now.

Your mother is right, Amelia.

We had a bargain.

All right.
I will think about it

and let you know soon.

Good. A diplomatic answer.

Polite, but vague.

Mia Thermopolis
is the daughter

of local eclectic artist
Helen Thermopolis.

They currently live in
a refurbished firehouse

south of Market Street.

Mia is also the only grandchild
of Queen Clarisse Renaldi

whose husband, King Rupert,
passed away last year.

This is Nelson Davenport,
K.R.L.H.

Will the feng shui club

please stop rearranging
the tables on the lawn?

Hello? Princess?

You're the most popular
girl in school.

Everybody wants to take
your picture.

Everybody wants to be
your best friend.

- Hi, Lilly.
- Hi.

Okay, so you know what?
I've made a list

of all the reasons for you
not to be a princess.

Number one: No privacy.

Number two:
You always have to look just right.

Number three--

Are you okay?

Number three.
What was number three?

Okay. Number three.:
You can't go nutso.

You can't be all "Bleah"
during the day.

Lilly, Lilly, um...

I really don't want to talk
about this at the moment, okay?

- Okay?
- Okay. Well, just one last question.

Now that you're "out,"

would you come on my cable show
on Saturday night?

Yeah, sure.

I love you!

Okay, I'm gonna buy you another
charm for your charm bracelet.

Okay? Okay. Ooh!

See you Saturday night!

Joe!

Yes, Miss Mia?

I don't want to run
my own country.

I just want to pass tenth grade,

so can't I just tell everyone
that I simply quit?

No one can quit being
who they really are,

not even a princess.

Now, you can refuse the job,
but you are a princess by birth.

How can I tell
if I can even do the job?

By simply, simply trying.

Like the fancy dinner coming up.

She thinks you're ready.

Really?

Shall we practise
entering like a princess?

Okay.

Entering.

At the grand ball,
you enter with the queen,

but at the state dinner,
you enter unaccompanied.

Shoulders back.

Smile.

They're all happy to see you.

Ah, there she is.

How is she?

You are much prettier.

Well done.
The worst is over.

Our diligent prime minister,
Sebastian Motaz.

Hello.

And his lovely wife, Sheila.

Nice to meet you.

And their charming
daughter Marissa.

Oh! Lord Fricker,
let me take your brandy glass.

You won't need it in there.

And easy on the schnapps.

Remember the winter dinner.

I'm not allowed to
go to the party.

Dinner is served.

Her Majesty Queen Clarisse.

Someday we will own
Genovia again

and you will be queen.

And your face will be
on a postage stamp.

How are the children, Robbie?

Would you like
to see them, ma'am?

There's Ryan
and there's Bridget.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Would you like to see?

So, Mr Prime Minister,

how would you say
the pear market

is doing in Genovia?

The Genovian pear market
is blossoming,

if you'll pardon the pun.

And that's their princess. Huh.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

Hi. You wanted to see me?

Is everything all right?

Um, yes, yes.

What was happening
with the ice bucket?

Oh. Um, I just had
a little clumsy moment.

- Okay.
- Bye.

The food's delicious,
by the way.

It was for
a feminist group in Scotland

called "Tarts for Tartan."

They were a wild bunch.

Very exciting.

Thank you.

Between the courses
to cleanse the palate.

- Mmm.
- Bien?

I'm sorry. It's a little cold.

She didn't realize
it was frozen.

What should we do?

Well, we should take
that much, too.

Just do the same thing.

No! No!
It's cold!

They are acting
like monkeys.

- Mmm!
- Mmm!

Have you ever experienced
that instant headache

when you eat ice too quickly?

No.

Wash your hands.

Excuse me.

I'm really sorry.

It happens all the time.

I would like
to propose a toast

to the Baroness
and Baron von Troken.

May you always be baron.

Ahh, the famous Genovian
pear and cheese dessert.

What else?

Ooh.

I'm outta here!

Oof! Aah!

Oh! I am sopping!

Was that my fault?

Shall we adjourn to
the grand hall for coffee?

Sorry I let you down, Dad.

Goodnight, Louie.

This place was such
a mess when I first arrived.

I've been spending every
spare moment in it I can.

Pick up one of these.
Make yourself useful.

Spray everything.

You're not mad at me
for what happened?

Actually, I found it
rather funny.

Reminds me of my first
royal dinner party.

I accidentally knocked
over a suit of armour

and the spear went right
through the suckling pig.

Amelia, why don't we
cancel lessons for today

and just have some fun?

Fun?

You mean you're not too busy
for something like that?

Your Majesty,
Lady Jerome has just arrived,

and I have the French
consulate's assistant on hold.

He wants to confirm
tonight's dinner.

Send my apologies.
Cancel everything for today.

I'm being shown San Francisco
by a true San Franciscan.

- Tell Joseph I'll need the car.
- Yes, ma'am.

Oh, wait! I want to
show you my baby.

I haven't sat
in the front seat of a car

in the longest time.

By the way, thanks for the money
for my car, Grandma.

So, where
are you taking me?

Well, do you
have any change?

No! It's not appropriate
for royalty to jingle.

Okay. I'll get the change.

Oh, this one's
my favourite!

What you do
is you put the quarter in,

and then
you grab his hand.

I touch that?

Yes, you touch that.

And then
you press the button...

- and, uh--
- Yeah?

- And then you just go.
- All right.

Looks like Rupert's cousin
from Liechtenstein.

How do I know
when it's ready?

Oh, it'll just go.
There you go!

- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Ow!

You enjoy
this humiliation?

Well, it's hard
the first time,

but you can do it again.

Hold this.

Oh, come on!
You can do it, Grandma!

I'm ready for you this time!

Ready?

Go! It's going!
It's going!

Go, go, go, go, go!
You're doing it!

You're doing it!
Go! Oh, yes!

Hah! Ho!

Got it! Give me five!

- Five?
- Five.

Oh!

Oh!

I want one of these!

Just not this one.

So, did my father always
want to be a prince?

Oh, yes.

Except once,
about 1 5 years ago,

he seriously considered
renouncing his title

because he met a lovely artist

who showed him wonderful things

about how life could be--

how he could be.

But?

But he had
a decision to make,

and nobody could
make it for him.

Not I-- though many
people thought I did--

or anybody else.

Phillipe knew
that my firstborn,

his brother Pierre,
wanted to abdicate,

which he did,
eventually,

to join the church.

Your father realized

that the love he could
have for one person--

or even two--

could not make him
forget the love he felt

for his country
and its people.

It was the hardest thing
he ever had to do.

Um, oh.

Do you want a bite of this?

Why not?

Well, here goes.

Why, it's delicious!

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay! Well, then,
let's get another one!

I know it's the fastest
way back to the consulate,

but I hate this hill!

I do believe I'm beginning
to feel that corn dog.

Maybe you can just
sneak gently through?

- Okay, I'll try.
- Good.

Right.
Now, blaze on up.

- I got it!
- Yes, you've got it.

- I got it!
- You've got it!

Uhh!

I haven't got it!

Uh-oh! Mia!
Mia, brake!

Brake! Look out!

Down here!

- Oh!
- Oh!

9-1-1 , I need to
report an accident.

You didn't hear the bell?

- They put me on hold.
- Oh, for the love of God!

Put down destruction
of public property.

I will, I will.
And last, but not least,

driving without a licence.

Accompanied by an adult
whose licence expired

45 years ago.

I've been trying to
tell you, Officer,

licences don't
expire in Genovia.

Not for the queen.

Don't I have
diplomatic immunity?

You do, but her
we have to take downtown.

What?

I'm sorry, miss.

It's all right, Officer.
I understand.

I--

I understand perfectly.

You do?

Mia, no town,
no city, no country,

can function peacefully

if its officers and
its transportation engineers

don't follow
the letter of the law.

Why, I would be proud

to have two such fine,
honourable gentlemen

serving in Genovia.

Aw, shucks, ma'am.

Ma'am,
we're not all that.

Oh, but you
most certainly are.

As a matter of fact,

I would like to
bestow upon you

the honour of the, um,

Genovian Order of the...

uh, Genovian
Order of the Rose.

Oh-- Oh! Ooh!

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

Oh.

Won't you please kneel?

Um, does anybody
have a sabre?

Oh! I've got an umbrella!

I have an emergency brake.

This will do fine,
thank you.

With the power vested in me

by the royal crown of Genovia,

I dub thee--

Artie Washington,
San Francisco, ma'am.

Arthur Washington.

And I dub thee--

Bruce Macintosh
of San Leandro.

Bruce Macintosh...

masters of the Order
of the Rose.

And all of you bear witness

to this auspicious
moment in history.

Please rise.

Wait till I go home
and tell Bernice.

Now, Mia, I know
you don't want to go

all the way downtown, but--

That really won't be necessary.

No one got hurt, did they?

- We're insured.
- Okay.

Chivalry ain't dead,
you know, so--

Noble Arthur, how very kind.

Do you need a lift home?

Oh, that would be
very helpful, thank you.

Come along, Mia.

Goodbye, trolley people!

Please take the car
to Doctor Motors?

- Goodbye!
- So long!

Goodbye!

Goodbye.

You were awesome!

You are the
coolest queen ever!

All in a day's work.

Wave goodbye!
That's a queen!

Would you like to
slide in first?

I never slide.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

Goodbye!

Hey, Bruce!

How about gettin'on
your royal carriage

and gettin'us out of here?

Here she is. This is the possible
new princess of Genovia here.

That's right. Genovia. Anyone know
where Genovia is? Anyone?

It's a country
between France and Spain.

That was a question on Jeopardy.

This is the girl
that won the genetic lottery.

Look!
Here's the princess!

Okay, back up. Let's go.

The princess is late for school.

- Could you sign my backpack?
- Hi, Princess.

May I have your
autograph, please?

Hi. What's your name?

Lilly.

Lilly? That's my
best friend's name.

Would you consider you and
the princess best friends?

Um, I would
definitely say that.

I mean, we do
everything together.

We shop together,
we get our hair done together.

We even finish
each other's sentences.

It's very cool.

- And what's your name?
- Charlotte.

Charlotte?
You two must be twins, huh?

Yes.

You know, I don't have any sisters,
but I do have a cat-- Fat Louie.

That's a funny name!

Will you take a picture
with me, Princess?

The princess
is late for algebra.

Thank you so much.

The pack is back.
Are you ready?

Mia.

Hi. Hi.

Step into my office.

Hey.

Hi.

So, um...

I hope what Lana said on TV
didn't freak you out too much.

- No.
- Okay, good.

Because I broke up
with her because of it,

and I hate phoney
publicity seekers.

Anyway...

Saturday night's
the big beach party.

Uh-huh.

Well, I think it'd be cool
if we went together.

See you on the waves?

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Attention.

Remember to watch Grove
High School's TVcable show

Saturday nights with
your host Lilly Moscovitz.

Michael.

Princess.

You will never guess what
Josh Bryant just asked me.

"Can I borrow a comb?"

No. He asked me to go
to the Baker Beach party with him.

That's this Saturday, right?

Yeah. So I was thinking

I could come by
the garage next week

and listen to your band
play then. All right?

Oh, yeah. That's-- Yeah.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

All right. Well,
I have to go,

but thank you
so much. Bye!

Bye.

Is Joseph driving you?

No.Joseph was nice enough
to take the night off.

I'm gonna take the school
bus with the other kids.

Okay. I look like an asparagus.

But a very,
very cute asparagus.

No, it's okay.
Don't worry.

I'm just gonna
wear my blue suit.

Are you nervous
about the beach party?

No. Actually,
I'm kind of excited.

I think I might get
my first real kiss.

- Oh! Who from?
-Josh Bryant.

That Backstreet Boy clone
you've had a crush on forever?

Okay. He is not
a Backstreet Boy clone.

He's a sailor.

I thought he was
never nice to you.

Oh. Well.

I don't know.
He is now.

I just kind of
hope that...

if he kisses me...

um, my foot pops.

Pops?

Yeah. You know,
in old films

whenever a girl
gets seriously kissed,

her foot would
just kind of... pop.

Pop!

Okay. I'm gonna go change now.

I hope you get your first
real foot-poppin' kiss.

We are Mark and Brian and welcome
to the Baker Beach bash.

Now, with one week
left of school,

you're gonna be
out for the summer,

and we know
what's on your mind.

How are you gonna
find that summer love?

And if you do, how do you
know if it's true?

Well, here to tell us all
about it, please welcome...

Lana and the Lanettes!

Lana, Anna and Fontana!

- Uhh!
- That was so--

- Awesome, huh?
- Amazing!

Ha ha!
I'm glad you had fun.

I thought you'd get
scared, honestly,

'cause most of the girls
I take on the boat,

they freak out.

Oh, no.
I wasn't scared.

And now it's time for your
favourite talk show host...

direct from Grove High School,

the lovely Lilly.

It's Saturday night,

and welcome to
my cable show,

Shut up and Listen.

Later on in my show,

I will be joined by
our very own Princess Mia

to discuss her positive opinion

of the "Save the Sea Otter" movement.

Until she arrives,

I've asked Grove's magic master,
Jeremiah Hart,

to entertain us with
some sleight of hand.

Hello, folks.

Awesome!

Hey, Princess!
Give us a smile!

How did they find me here?

What?

How did they find me here?

Hey, wave, everybody!

You're on TV!

Wait, Princess, don't be shy!

Come back!

Hey, chopper boy,
look over here!

Royal deejays!

Josh!

Oh, no! I am so sorry
about all this.

No, it's fine. It's fine.
They can't get us in here.

We were having
such a good time,

and then they came
and ruined it.

I know, I know.
Look, they can't see us.

We can't see them.

We're all alone
in this little shack.

Actually, you know what?

It's kind of cosy in here...

and there's no one I'd rather
be here with than you, Mia.

Really?

Yeah.

-Josh?
- Mm-hmm?

This isn't romantic.

Um, it just--

No. It's my foot.

It's caught
in a volleyball net,

- and I--
- Yeah. Here.

Ooh!

Hey! My dad
thinks I'm a princess!

I'm a friend of Mia's!

I tell you what.
While we're waiting,

how about a foot massage?

That would be so wonderful.
Thank you.

No. Actually, I mean
you give me one.

Oh, yeah.

And indeed, it is
the queen of hearts!

Thank you, Jeremiah,

for your potpourri
of prestidigitations

for the past hour.

Obviously, Princess Mia has
a problem appearing here tonight,

and I'm sure
she has a good excuse.

I'm Lilly Moscovitz
for Shut up and Listen.

Thank you and goodnight.

Mia...

the coast is clear.

Really?

They're gone. Yeah.

Oh, good.

So, what do you say we go find

a more romantic spot?

Okay.

Quiet! Quiet!

No! Stay!

Give her a smooch!

Come on!
Give her a big, sloppy wet one!

Hold it!

Uhh!

Hit him again!
Hit him again!

Go away! No, no, no!
Go away, all of you!

The princess has
left the building.

What's your name?

Where do you go to school?

Josh Bryant.

I go to Grove High School.

What, are we friends
with Mia now?

Yes. We hate Josh.

Sorry. It's hard to keep up
with who we're not talking to.

Here she comes!

- Mia!
- Mia!

I'm really sorry.
I can't talk.

I have to go
get my clothes.

Well, here.
We've got your clothes.

You'll be a lot warmer.

You guys
want to help me?

Yeah. You know,
Josh is such an idiot.

We're gonna make sure
no one bothers you.

Thank you. Um...

that's really nice of you.

This is so great of you.

Thank you so much.

Everything's fine.

Is anybody coming?

- No!
- No!

Guys, I really
appreciate this.

Thank you.

She's got her
bathing suit off.

Okay, now!

Princess, hi!

That was the scream
of Princess Mia.

Go away, all of you, please!

Okay. Come here, Mia.

Piranhas, all of you!
Back off!

My mom always
told me I couldn't cry

and told me to be a big girl,

but you've been hurt,
so you just cry, okay?

It was really bad.

My foot didn't even pop.

It was just last night

that San Francisco's
own little princess

partied at the beach.

But what started out
as innocent fun

soon turned into
allegedly too much fun.

This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW.

Please say something.

Well, there's not much to say.

A picture's worth
a thousand words,

and you have two pictures.

I really embarrassed
the family, didn't I?

Not to put too fine
a point on it, yes, you did.

I think you're making
a wise decision

to abstain from the job.

I suppose I won't come
to the ball then.

Well, of course you should come.

You're still family.

Just because you don't
want to be our princess

doesn't mean we're
sending you into exile.

Your mother's
planning to come.

All your guests are invited,

except for your beach friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm meeting with
the press in an hour

to do some damage control.

You can come in now.

If I may say so,
that did not go very well.

Is this the way
a princess should act?

My information tells me
that boy was using her.

The kiss was merely a device

so that he could get
his 1 5 minutes of fame.

And her friends
didn't help, either.

Anna, Falana, Banana,
Bandana, Montana--

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Why didn't she have
enough common sense

to deal with this?

She's only 15...

but today, she acted
beyond her years.

She showed great respect

and gracefully accepted
your criticism.

You're saying that as a queen,
I was too harsh on her.

I was critical
of the person

who could become the next
ruler of my country.

No. I'm saying, as a grandmother
you might have been too harsh

on your granddaughter.

Do you think she can do it?

Oh, I have no doubts, ma'am.

I thought so, too.

Hey, it's Mia "Thermopolips."

Can you autograph your
picture for me? Josh did.

Hey, there's Princess Pucker-up.

Lilly?

Hey, can I talk to you
for a minute, please?

Lilly, can I just
talk to you for a minute?

- Is that cool?
- Sure.

Let's talk.

But about what, hmm?

How you broke
my brother's heart,

or how you stuck me with
Jeremiah during my cable show

doing, "pick a card,
pick a card, pick a card."

I'm sorry, okay?

I forgot to call you and tell you
that I couldn't make it.

So I was stuck with
the happy Houdini

while you're making out
with the yachting yahoo.

Those are really
good alliterations.

No! I don't want to talk
about alliterations!

Lilly, I came up here to
tell you that I'm sorry!

Okay? I'm sorry I missed
your cable show,

and I'm just really sorry.

I can't believe that
you hung me up

after all I did for you.

You know, I kept
your royal secret.

And do you know
how hard it is

to have a cable show
and keep a secret?

You didn't keep it
a secret from me

how jerky you thought
my being a princess was.

Well, congratulations.
You got your wish.

I'm not gonna be
a princess.

- You're not?
- No.

But I want you to be.

What?

I didn't mean it.

The green monster
of jealousy came out

because you
were Miss Popular

and I thought I was
losing my best friend

so I got angry and upset
and hurt and--

I told you!

I need an attitude adjustment.

But the truth is,

you being a princess
is kind of a miracle.

Whoa! No!

What miracle?

It's a nightmare!

No! Think about it!

I just found out
that my cable show

only reaches 12 people.

Wanting to rock the world

but having zip power like me--

now that's a nightmare.

But you-- Wow!

I mean--

Okay, what is so "Wow?"

Wow is having the power
to affect change,

make people listen.

How many teenagers
have that power?

What more of a miracle
do you want?

Well...

we'll just have to find
a different miracle.

Not more, just different.

Listen.

Tomorrow night is the Genovian
Independence Day Ball,

and to make up for my
missing your cable show,

I'm inviting you.

I hope you'll forgive me...

and I hope you come.

But what will I wear?

Mmm! Yea!

I don't know, but it
doesn't really matter.

I'm just gonna be happy
that you're gonna come!

Thanks. And you
can be a princess.

- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.

- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.

No, I can't.

Come on. Let's move it in.
Move in! Let's go!

Bobby Bad,
hang up the phone!

Yes, Mom.
I'll go to the dentist after school.

I hate it when they
move in like that.

Mia, it's not
a championship game.

It's not even a big game.
It's just gym class.

Just hit the ball.

I don't want to flunk you
in gym class.

Come on. You can do it.

Keep your eye on the ball.

That's all right! That's okay!

You're gonna hit it anyway!

Go Lions!

Oh, come on, girls.
It's a ball, not a snake.

Back in formation!

I'm sorry.

Foul ball.
Okay. It's all right.

You got a piece of it.
It's okay.

Just focus.

Focus.

Focus.

That's all right! That's okay!

Come on, Mia. Remember,
it's only a game!

Keep your eye on the ball.

Go Lions!

Great!

Let's go! Let's go!

Hey, Mia!
Would you rather hit a beach ball?

Order me a pizza, huh?
Pepperoni.

Uhh!

Oh! Oh!

- Run, Mia!
- All right! Go! Go!

I gotta go.

Get up!

What are you doing?
Get up!

All the way, Mia!

Hi,Josh.

Come on, girl!

All the way, Mia! Come on!

Safe! And you passed.

Whoo! Mia!

Nicejob, Mia.
Way to go!

Oh! Uh, it's open.

Come on in.

Michael! Hi.

How are you?

- What?
- Little guy on your--

Oh! Um...

Did Lilly tell you that I called?

Because I, uh, called.

I brought your car.

Oh, thank you.

Seven times I called.

Doc said that he fixed
what he could

and if you had any problems
to give him a call.

Oh, okay. Um--

Do you want
the cheque now?

'Cause I have
the last payment and--

Yeah. Thank you.

Are you hungry or thirsty?

- No.
- Oh! Here it is.

Um, look.

Thank you so much
for doing this for me.

It's really,
really great of you.

I didn't do it for you.
Doc lets the band practise.

Right. Of course.

I help with the cars.

Oh, here.

Oh, thanks.

I know you're still mad at me
for blowing you off,

and I'm really sorry I did,

but I am going to try
to make it up to you.

How?

Well, um, I'm still going

to the Genovian
Independence Day Ball,

and I'm inviting you.

It could be fun, you know.

I'm wearing this great dress
that I can't breathe in

and Lilly's got a date, and--

Josh looks better in a tux.

Oh.

But, see, it's--

I really want you to be
the one I share it with.

You don't have to wear a tux.

You can wear sweatpants
for all I care, you know?

Don't-- Don't worry about me.

I just consider myself
royally flushed.

Ow!

Stop the bovine massacre!

Sign up now and save a cow!

Vegetarians have right
to eat special.

Make Grove School
more tofu-friendly.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Go sit by Jeremiah.
I'll be there in a minute.

Okay.

She's wearing
that dorky hat again.

Hey, you want
to see a trick?

Um, no.
Not right now.

What are you doing?
Are you, like, writing a story or--

Oh, well, my portfolio's increased
by 30% since the last quarter.

Look what we have.

The perfect nerd couple.

Jeremiah and Mia.

Oh! Miah and Mia!

Oh, but listen,Jere.

My friends and I were wondering.
The sweater you're wearing--

was it designed for you

or did the knitting
machine just blow up?

Sunglasses, girls.

Oh! It's Jeremiah
hair glare.

Is one of your magic
tricks your hair?

- Hey, Lana?
- Huh?

You know,

that is such a cute
cheerleading outfit.

It's so clean-cut.

I bet it goes
with anything.

Of course it does!

Aah!

Aah!

Mia, you're such a freak!

Yeah. Yeah, I am.
But you know what?

Someday I might just
grow out of that,

but you--
you will never stop being a jerk.

Lana got coned!

Lana got coned!

Lana got coned!

- Mia!
- Toodles.

Lana got coned!

Mrs Gupta, did you see
what she did to me?

Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry.

I was in a very
important meeting.

Send it out
for dry cleaning.

Lana got coned!

It's a present
for your 1 6th birthday

from your father.

It was found
among his possessions.

My birthday's
not for two weeks.

I know, but I wanted you
to have it before we leave.

I return to Genovia
the day after tomorrow.

Thank you.

It's locked.

If you open the locket
I gave you,

it becomes the key.

Thank you for
bringing it down here.

I also came to apologize

for the way I spoke to you
about the beach incident.

It was judgemental of me.

I didn't pause
to verify the facts.

That's all right, Grandma.

I've been thinking
about it a great deal,

and the truth is,

I think you'd make
a very fine princess.

You know, people think

princesses are supposed
to wear tiaras,

marry the prince,
always look pretty,

and live
happily ever after,

but it's so much more
than that.

It's a real job.

You are an extraordinary
person, Grandma...

but I don't think
I'm meant to do this.

I would be so afraid

that I would disappoint
the people of Genovia

and I couldn't bear

to disappoint you again.

Well, as I said,

I have faith in you.

- I'm a writer.
- Ah!

I write soaps--
soap opera.

Mm-hmm.

Did you ever see
Middle House Road?

No. No, no.

It's a big hit.

I wrote a character
just like you once.

He was a spy.

I'm not a spy.

That's what
the character said.

- I'll see you tonight, then.
- Mm-hmm.

Hah!

I do have
one favour to ask.

Mm-hmm.

I need you to formally renounce
your title for the press...

at the ball, you know?

- Make a speech?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, well, do you
think that maybe,

considering my history
with the press,

it would be better
if you did it?

Amelia, you wouldn't stop
driving your Mustang

just because
a couple of insects

hit the windshield,
would you?

Besides, look how far
you've come,

and I'll be
right there with you.

I'll haveJoseph
pick you up at 7.:00.

Uh, no.

I promised I'd let
my mom drive me.

She wants to drive me
to my first ball

or something.

All right.
I'll see you there, then.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, Grandma?

I am sorry.

Oh, my dear.

You are first and
foremost my granddaughter.

Ah!

Please don't be late.

Thank you, Dad, but...

I can't be a princess, okay?
I don't make speeches

and I'm not
Clarisse Renaldi and...

and I just...

I can't do it, okay?

I'm scared.

- Joseph.
- Charlotte, Miss Kawa.

Nice to meet you.

Pardon me. I have to go
get the band ready.

Of course.

Should you be going
to get Princess Mia?

Well, Mia told Clarisse

that her mother
would be bringing her.

Helen just arrived and said
Mia was waiting for you.

She's going to run.

Come on, Fat Louie.
Time to pack.

Let's get your things.

Louie, what have you
got there?

Come on, Louie.

We're going on a trip.

We're going to Colorado

where we can climb
some real rocks.

We are so
out of here, Louie.

"My dearest daughter,

"today is your 1 6th birthday.

"Congratulations.

"I present you
with this diary

"to fill the pages with
your special thoughts--

"special thoughts
of your wonderful life. "

"It is a custom in my family

"to pass on
a piece of wisdom

"when one reaches this age.

"I pass it on to you

"as my father
passed it on to me.

"Amelia, courage is not
the absence of fear

"but rather thejudgement

"that something else is
more important than fear.

"The brave
may not live forever,

"but the cautious
do not live at all.

"From now on,
you'll be travelling the road

"between who you think you are

"and who you can be.

"The key
is to allow yourself

"to make thejourney.

"I also want you to know

"I loved your mother
very much

"and still think of her often.

"Happy birthday, my Mia.

All my love, your father. "

And there's
Countess Puck of Austria

as the glamorous
continue to arrive

at the Genovian
Independence Ball.

Despite the threat of rain,

the big turnout includes
the mayor of San Francisco

and a Genovian
pearjuggler.

The future of Genovia

is in the hands of
young Mia Thermopolis.

Her decision tonight will
affect the queen, the court,

and all the people of
this small but proud country.

Do you think
it's gonna rain on us?

It never comes down
on Willie Brown.

Thank you.

Umbrellas up!

And that's
enough pearjuggling.

The trip is off, Louie.

Oh! Perfect.

Unh!

Oh, come on.
Oh, come on, baby.

Genovians, you know,

are famous for their
impeccable taste in art.

Also for their cheese.

Maybe it's string cheese.

Don't do this, baby.

Unh!

Gotcha!

Oh!

Sorry, Mr Robutusen!

Here you go.
It's already paid for.

I didn't order a pizza.
I'm sorry about that.

No, you must've,

unless there's another
Michael Moscovitz living here.

We get a call, we deliver.

That's our motto.

You don't make
the pizza?

No, no.
I just deliver 'em.

Press passes.
Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, hi.
Where are you from?

- Teen Scene magazine.
- Oh, good, good.

The queen has entered.

Do we have any news on
the von Troken matter?

It'll be decided
tonight, ma'am.

I'm afraid so.

- Where is she?
- She went somewhere! I know nothing!

- Nothing? Come here.
- Oh, what? What?

Talk to me.

She went that way,
then that way.

- Two minutes ago.
- Thank you very much.

Do we have any problems?

No. Everything's perfect.

Perfect. It's wonderful.

You're not very good
at lying, Charlotte.

No, I'm not, Your Majesty.

But the garden
looks beautiful.

Thank you.

Come on, baby.
You can make it.

Yes, come on! Yes!

No. Come on, baby.

Baby, please, come on.

There's no answer
at Princess Mia's house,

and I couldn't get Joseph
on the cell phone.

There's too much static
from the storm.

The press is
starting to complain

about making their deadlines.

If she's not here in ten minutes,
I'll make the announcement.

Yes, ma'am.

It's okay. It's okay.
She'll be fine.

She's gonna get here.

Is this punishment for driving

without a licensed driver
in the front seat?

I am invisible and I am wet.

The press was wondering
if it would be possible--

No. No interviews until
later in the evening.

Yes, ma'am.

And we're meeting
Baroness and Baron von Troken.

Is it true if the teenager
refuses the princess-ship,

your family will take over
the country of Genovia?

Yes. They must have
a legitimate

Renaldi blood relative,
or we rule.

No, ma'am.

Then it's time.

You wouldn't happen to be
running away, would you?

What?
Dressed like this?

No.
I'm going to a ball.

Good. Get in.

Her Majesty, the queen.

My fellow Genovians
and honoured guests...

good evening.

I apologize for the delay
and-- Oh, hello--

And may I say,

welcome to our Grand Genovian
Independence Day Ball.

There's no time to change.

You look fine.

Pretty and fine.
Just fine.

- Oh!
- No running.

Please, no running.

- Good.
- It's nice.

...a very special moment.

Thank you so much
for your patience.

I have an announcement to make.

My granddaughter--

- She's here!
- I see.

I would like to announce that
my granddaughter has arrived.

With a fascinating explanation
as to her wardrobe, I'm sure.

She's styling a wet,
sort of grunge-look hairdo

and is wearing a sweatshirt,
jeans, and docs.

Mia, would you care
to say a few words?

Um, yes.

Why didn't we dress like her?
We look like idiots.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Do you think they're trying
to save money on the gown?

Hi-- Er, uh, hello.

I'm Mia.
Um, it stopped raining.

Get your tiara ready.

I'm really no good
at speech making.

Normally I get
so nervous that I faint

or run away or sometimes
I even get sick.

But you really
didn't need to know that.

But I'm not so afraid
any more.

My father helped me.

Earlier this evening,
I had every intention

of giving up my claim
to the throne.

And my mother helped me
by telling me that it was okay

and by supporting me like
she has for my entire life.

But...

then I wondered how I'd feel

after abdicating my role
as Princess of Genovia.

Would I feel relieved
or would I feel sad?

And then I realized...

how many stupid times a day
I use the word "I."

In fact, probably all I ever do

is think about myself.

And how lame is that

when there are seven billion
other people on the planet--

Did-- Ooh. Sorry.
I'm going too fast.

But then I thought...

if I cared about the other
seven billion out there

instead of just me,

that's probably
a much better use of my time.

See, if I were
Princess of Genovia,

then my thoughts

and the thoughts of people
smarter than me...

would be much better heard
and just maybe...

those thoughts could be
turned into actions.

So this morning
when I woke up,

I was Mia Thermopolis.

But now...

I choose to be
forevermore...

Amelia Mignonette
Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

I hope you didn't order
your stationery yet.

This was my very
first tiara.

I was rather fond of it.

I'm hoping you will be too.

Oh. Grandma,
but you had it already.

How did you know
I'd even be here?

Because I recognize
the same spirit in you

as someone else I know.

Who?

Me.

Ah, you made it.

You bet your life,
you big, tall string bean.

Here. Paolo here
to save the day.

Her Majesty,
Queen Clarisse,

and Her Royal Highness,
Amelia, Princess of Genovia.

I think perhaps we'd better
get you dried off now.

Thank you.

No longer does Mia stand
for "missing in action."

Genovia has a new princess.

They had
the same idea I had,

but now the garden is occupado.

Why me?

Because you saw me
when I was invisible.

And just because I'm royal

doesn't mean
I'm any different.

Come on, I'm really
the same person.

Yes, I will have
to live in Genovia,

but I'll still go
to school and...

Dear diary...

today is my first official day
as Princess of Genovia.

We'll land in a few hours

and I'll meet the parliament
and the people

before beginning
my royal duties.

Mom is, of course,
moving to Genovia with me,

and will continue painting--
without the balloons.

Lilly and Michael are planning to
spend their summer vacation at our--

can you believe it--palace.

They're even having
my Mustang brought over,

which I can legally drive
in two weeks.

Grandma's so glad
to be going home.

And Joseph? Well,
he's watching nearby as usual.

Everybody's got
pre-coronation jitters,

including me.

Everybody, that is,
except Fat Louie.

He's totally adapted
to being a royal.

I guess
he was one all along.

Princess,
look out the window...

and welcome to Genovia.

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