Original subtitles

-Okay! Let's get a group picture! -Okay!

-What about you, dude? -I am going to be in it! Braden, Mac move to the left!

No! The other left! Your right, my left! Okay!

Ruby, move close to Braden! No! The other Braden! No! The other, other Braden!

Good! Now, Tyler, move farther from Further,

Further, get nearer to the other Braden, and farther from the other, other Braden.

Hurry up, and take the picture, man!

What is that?

Whoa! I think that plane is crashing!

Did anyone get that?

Come on! Maybe, someone needs help!

Hey! Are you okay?

(ALL GASPING)

(SCREAMING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

Wow! The sky is crystal clear! It's incredible!

No wonder there are so many UFO sightings out in the desert!

There's no place for them to hide!

UFOs! (NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

You mean like alien visitors from other planets

coming down to perform strange experiments on terrified people?

-And, their dogs! -Come on, guys!

Meeting exotic beings from an another planet would be exciting!

There's no reason to assume that all aliens are mean and experiment-y.

Like, I have a reason. Hysterical fear!

-I buy it. -Relax!

Not only is there no proof any extraterrestrial ever visited Earth,

there is no proof any life in the universe besides us even exists.

The last thing we need to worry about is...

Alien!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(THUD)

That's not an alien. It's just a guy...

Aliens! Aliens!

Who is screaming about aliens.

An alien! What was it like?

It was huge, and scary. It attacked us! I barely got away!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Isn't it possible that what looks like attacking on Earth

is really his planet's way of saying, "Howdy, fellas! I love your hoodies!"

Well, there's only one way to find out!

Agreed! Where did you say this occurred?

Out in the desert, that way! Which is why I am running that way!

(PANTING)

Sounds like a good idea! Yeah! Great idea!

(SCREAMING)

BOTH: Cactus! (SCREAMING) Rattlesnakes!

Chain saws! Ravine! (SCREAMING)

(SPLASH)

-BOTH: We're okay! Chain saws! (SCREAMING) -(CHAIN SAW RUNNING)

-Whose idea was that? -Not my idea!

-That was a bad idea! -Terrible idea!

(ALIEN GROWLS)

It is a flying saucer! Hello! Anyone there? Welcome to Earth!

Otherwise known as that big round thing you crashed into!

Don't touch that! It might have space germs!

Hello! I think this fell off your ship!

I don't know about you,

but I feel a lot better being in the one place I know is alien-free.

Right here!

(WATER DRIPS)

Huh?

BOTH: Alien! (SCREAMING)

Yikes!

(SCREAMING)

Oh!

(HELICOPTER FLYING)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

You are surrounded!

I am Colonel... Aah! My eyes!

SOLDIER: Sorry, sir! I heard yelling!

(STATIC) Attention! I am Colonel... Aaaah!

(GROANS)

-Lights on them! -SOLDIER: My bad!

I am Colonel Petersen!

-You're to be taken in for questioning. -On what charge?

-Suspicion of being aliens! -ALL: Aliens?

What? Oh, they yell and no blinding lights on... Aaah!

-SOLDIER: Sorry! Me again! -Okay! Forget this!

Just pack up these aliens, and their vehicles!

Don't worry, gang. This is all a big misunderstanding!

Let me talk to them, and I will have this all cleared up in a minute.

-(HANDCUFF LOCKED) -(DOORS CLOSE)

(NERVOUS GIGGLES)

-Like, where are they taking us? -Oh, I know!

They are probably taking us to Area 51!

That's where they keep all the secret alien stuff they find!

Oh! All that Area 51 nonsense is pure conspiracy theory!

Yeah, I know! And, check this out!

In July 1947, an object crashes near Roswell, New Mexico.

Roswell Army Air Field takes possession of a wrecked craft including alien bodies!

Dismissed as a high-altitude balloon,

no connection with Area 51 was established.

In 1955, a top-secret military base is established near Groom Lake, Nevada

to study the aliens, and their spacecraft.

What's more likely is the base is used to test new planes,

and for hazardous waste disposal.

Velma, stop scrunching my facts!

In 1984, the security perimeter of Area 51 was expanded by 89,000 acres!

And, because it's a top-secret government base, they must be hiding aliens!

Well, whatever's an Area 51, we are about to find out!

Um, Mr. Army guy, I think you passed Area 51!

Oh, yes! We are taking you to Area 53!

That is two more secret than Area 51!

(LASER BUZZ)

(GATE BUZZER RINGS)

MAN: Um. Hello?

Craig? Brad? I know you guys are there!

Whoa!

-General Stall! -Colonel Peterson! Follow me!

What are these kids doing in my top-secret...

What, what's that word, means my base, my secured location?

-Facility? -No. No. No. It starts with an F.

Facility starts with an F.

Not facility.

You know, it means like, like facility, but not facility!

I am pretty sure facility is the word.

Either way, what are they doing here?

We found them at the scene of a crashed spacecraft, sir!

I believe that they may be aliens themselves!

We caught them just as they took human form!

I don't like it!

If they turn out to be innocent civilians, this could be big problems for us!

They need to be interrogated!

This could be the start of an invasion!

Just look at their vehicles!

Wait! Wait! That's the automatic trap and unmasker!

Ah! It is trying to pull my face off!

See?

All right! I'll give you one hour with them!

(LIGHT SWITCHES ON)

So, Mr. Jones, tell me about the strange, almost "alien"

technology in that van of yours!

-What are you implying? -What are you inferring?

I am only inferring what you are implying!

And what are you implying you're inferring from what I am implying?

Exactly what you are inferring!

Hmm.

Okay, Ms. Blake!

How many more alien crafts are headed to Earth?

What are your invasion plans? I want all weapon schematics! Defense capabilities!

-The works! -Wow.

There is one scared little boy in there!

I know. Sometimes it feels like all the hugs in the world won't make it better.

(CRYING) You're right!

Daddy never said that I was good enough! He told me...

Get out of my head, alien!

You had it all figured out, huh?

You copied our human features, our human language!

But, you forgot one important thing!

-Shaggy is not a human name! -Okay, fine!

-My real name is Norvil. -Aha!

Aha!

-Aha! -Aha!

-Aha! -Aha!

BOTH: Ahaaaa!

Even if I granted to you that extraterrestrials may have visited Earth,

which is highly unlikely,

that still doesn't excuse this bureaucratic exercise and paranoid xenophobia!

"Lay-blorp, I'm from space." That's what you sound like.

Okay, I'll ask you this one simple question. And, I expect a simple answer!

Are you an alien?

No!

Good enough for me!

Although they deny it, I am convinced they are aliens.

Except for the dog. His story seems to check out.

Aliens, huh? Are you sure?

Of course! I mean, look at them!

They just look like an ordinary group of kids!

Exactly!

I want those aliens and their dog moved to a permanent holding cell!

Yes, sir!

Did you find any clues?

No!

As long as they think we're aliens, we're never going to get to the bottom of this.

-(ALARM SOUNDING) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Security alert!

-There is an intruder. Security alert! -What's happening?

(SCREAMING) I don't know. That's classified!

Everything's classified!

(ALIEN GROWLING)

Like, it's the creature from planet Zoiks!

Run!

(GASPING AND PANTING)

Wait! It's probably just as scared of us, as we are of it!

-Not a chance! -Impossible!

I'll show you.

Greetings! My name is Daphne!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, that must be how he says "Hi."

(SCREAMING)

Look, we're communicating!

Aaah!

(ALIEN SCREAMS)

Hey! You totally caught my likeness in ripped cloth and components!

Good work!

-Let's get out of here. -Oh, come on! I think I was getting through to him!

(SCREAMING)

Maybe that was a friendly dismembering?

(PANTING)

Dead end!

(SCREAMING)

Look! Someone's security badge!

Someone must have dropped it during the commotion.

Great! So open the door in all this commotion.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Greetings, General Stall!

(BANGING)

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

-ALL: Phew! -It's General Stall's card?

-Maybe it's a clue! -A clue that the alien ate him!

Why are you all so sure the alien is bad?

A better question is why are you so sure it isn't?

I don't know.

I guess since I was kid, I dreamed about meeting aliens,

and going on adventures in a cool spaceship!

Honestly, I usually left the being-ripped-to-pieces part out of my dream.

Hey! I think this is Area 53's hangar!

I bet this is where they brought the spaceship!

What is all this?

All this equipment is outdated by any standards!

I'd say Area 53 is due for a tech upgrade!

Looks like they tried to get it, too!

Request for newer, better computers all marked, "Denied".

Hey, look at this!

Daphne, did you manage to hold on to that

piece of wreckage you found at the crash site?

It's right here!

This is clearly a part of this device!

Maybe it's some kind of outer-space technology!

That could be what the alien is after!

Like, maybe, we should ask him!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALIEN SCREAMING)

Run!

Okay! Everything's intact!

-(GROWL) -Aaah!

(GROWLING)

Is the coast clear?

-No. -(ALIEN SCREAMING)

(BEEPING)

Huh?

Whoa!

The device controls his ship!

Well, control him away from us!

Oh, no! The main thrusters have been activated!

(SCREAMS)

Hurry! Before the ship gets away!

Don't worry, Velma. As it turns out, some flying objects...

Can be identified!

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

-Oh! -(EXCLAIMING)

This is harder than it looks.

It is even about to get harder!

-(ALIEN SCREAMING) -(GASPING AND PANTING)

MAN: This is personal, isn't it? It's me, right?

(MAN SHOUTS)

(EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Whoa!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Yay! I am accepted by my peers!

BOTH: Daphne!

Aaah!

Hold on! Zoinks!

-Oh, no, the controller! -What about, "Oh, no, you"?

Oh, no, me!

They're in trouble! Hang on!

Jump!

(SCREAMING)

-Go, Fred! -You got it!

All right! I admit it!

I don't think that alien wants to be friends.

It's time to grow up and admit I'll never go on a fun adventure with aliens.

Wait!

So, basically, you wanted to run around

with a bunch of weirdos in a fanciful vehicle,

and go on strange and interesting adventures?

Yeah! Pretty much! Silly, huh!

Um, Daph! Like, that's literally what you do now.

-Every day! -Oh, right!

Actually, I don't think that alien is what it seems to be.

I am beginning to figure out what's happening here.

-You see... -Eeee.

What's going on?

Uh, guys?

(GUNS LOADING)

-What happened, Colonel? -What happened?

Oh. They just destroyed countless dollars' worth

of government property and research!

I say we lock them up down here forever, General.

For the benefit of Earth!

You know what I think?

I think they are just a group of very curious kids who were in the wrong place,

at the wrong time.

If we let you go, you wouldn't tell anybody what you saw here, would you?

-Like, of course not! -What's to tell?

Um, technically, if you do let us go,

we are protected by The Freedom of Information Act.

So we could tell anyone, anything we want!

She's right! We can tell the whole world about the existence of the alien.

The cover-up is over!

What are you doing, Velma?

Like, is it to too late to claim, I don't know them?

Who are you?

Sorry, General! You know the rules!

We can't let them tell the world what they've seen here.

There'll be mass panic!

Ah. Sorry, kids! Take them to the security ward!

You know the extra, ultra security ward.

The maximum security ward, sir?

No. No. Not maximum!

What's the word that means the most, the highest?

Maximum!

Close, but more than that!

I don't think you can get more than maximum.

Come on! It starts with an M.

Monkey?

Do we have a monkey security ward?

No, sir.

Ah, just bring them to the maximum security ward then.

(EXCLAIMING)

Zoinks! It's back!

Keep him moving!

(ALIEN SCREAMING)

Sorry!

-(BOTH GASPING) -(ALIEN SCREAMING)

(ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH GASPING AND PANTING)

(ALIEN SCREAMING)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Follow me!

Head for the van!

(SCREAMING)

Freddy, now!

(VAN HONKS)

Yikes!

(ALIEN GROWLING)

Uh-oh!

(EXCLAIMING)

We did it, gang!

-We? -What's going on here?

Colonel, you are about to find out who your alien really is!

-ALL: General Stall! -That's right!

The alien ship that crashed was actually just a remote-controlled drone,

dressed up to look like it was from another planet.

I found that piece of the control device Stall used to crash the ship in the desert.

He crashed it near those kids because he wanted them to take pictures,

and present the evidence of an alien invasion to the world.

In the lab, when the alien attack happened,

there was a security card conveniently left for us to find.

Stall left it for us on purpose

because he wanted word to get out.

But why? That would cause pandemonium.

Maybe, but it would get Area 53 more funding and resources.

All your requests for new equipment were being denied

because Stall never found any real aliens.

That's what this is all about!

To frighten the people and keep the funding coming for his cushy job!

And I would have gotten away with it too,

if it wasn't for those meddling...

No, not meddling!

It starts with an M.

Meddling has an M!

What sounds like "meddling"?

Meddling!

No! No. Complete the sentence.

"I would have gotten away with it too,

"if it wasn't for you, blank, kids."

Meddling!

Different M! Come on!

Take him away!

You know, like you'd say if you were foiled by some teens in the 70s?

Rhymes with beddling!