All language subtitles for Prophet.of.Ecstasy.2026

- Source is consciousness

that has created this whole
beautiful existence that we se.

The difference between
God and Source,

God is a concept

that we've learned
through society.

Source is manifesting,

is having a personal experience

through each of us.

People can't find
God in religion.

We are
what we're looking for already.

It's a futile search

to find God outside of yoursel.

(inspiring music)

(liturgic music)

I was born and raised
in Chicago.

My mother was Irish Catholic.

Went to Mass every morning,

seven days a week.

Dragged me with her.

I started feeling
like I wanted to know more

about this God
that they're talking about.

And the only way I knew,

that was the Irish Catholic way,

was you become a priest.

- Corpus Christi.

- After eighth grade, I went
straight into the seminary

for the priesthood.

- Corpus Christi.

- So in me,

I got implanted
from a very early age,

a burning desire to know God.

(inspiring music)

One day, I woke up.

I was 26 years old.

And I thought,
what am I doing here?

It was like a revelation.

I got to go.

- We hope you find whatever
it is that you're looking for.

- That was the end of Catholic
religion for me.

And I just felt free,
totally free.

I had literally nothing.

But they gave me
a few hundred dollars,

and I had that Honda motorcycl.

So I just got on it
and rode west.

(rock music)

So I made it out to California,

stayed at a friend's house,

and started my own business.

An alarm company, home securit,

motion detection.

- Schick Electric bought us out,

$3.2 million, yeah.

So that was my first
big success.

Then I really went crazy.

Then I bought a resort
on Lake LBJ.

And it wasn't until
I got in my 30s

that I started seeking again.

So I attended
my first yoga class.

And wow, that was like
the beginning of the new search.

(ethereal music)

This is when I began
teaching Zen tennis.

I was a tennis pro,

and I had a club in Dallas,

and it had 500 women
that belonged to it.

It was yoga, meditation,
and tennis.

(pop music)

I was satiated with women.

I swore I would never
even go on another date.

She walked in and I went, Oh!

Wow.

That was the end of my dating.

Connecting with Pauline,

I mean, I had like a voice

from within that, this is it.

(pop music)

We got engaged, and then I took
her on a scuba diving trip.

I had a friend down there,

this guy's name was Fred.

Fred became a really
good friend of mine.

He kept begging me
to try this drug.

I'd say, I don't do drugs,
I don't do drugs.

He was saying, OK,

as a gift to me,
as a gift of trust

of friendship, try this.

Fred had a friend in Boston

that sent him a few of these.

(soft music)

I'd never had any kind

of experience like that
before in my life.

I was just laying
there in the sand.

Oh, my God.

Couldn't even describe
the experience.

It was extreme happiness
and oneness and lightness

and no fear.

It was so healing, so wonderful.

I felt this oneness,
and then everything I knew

about spirituality
and Catholicism

and all of that was just
a huge cosmic joke.

That night, I got the command
from the universe

to get this out there.

I already saw it being deliverd
around the whole world.

(celestial music)

- I was born in Chicago
shortly after the war.

My family was well-off,

and so I had every possible
advantage you could have

in terms of privilege,

and I had extremely
progressive parents

who were very left-wing
and very supportive.

I was raised on stories
of the Holocaust,

which profoundly disturbed me.

All of that led me to realize

that the most important concerns
were psychological.

We needed emotional
and spiritual

evolution and growth.

And I felt that this mission
that I was given

was to respond

to that kind of murderous nature
of the Holocaust.

I went to this experimental
college in Sarasota, Florida

called New College,

and it had no grades.

There was a tradition
of psychedelic use

at this college.

In particular,
all-night dance parties

that went till sunrise.

And I was like, wow,
this is great.

- Lysergic acid diethylamide.

LSD.

- When I first started
taking LSD,

I thought, this is what
my bar mitzvah should have bee.

It was like a confrontation
with who am I,

where do I fit in the universe,
what are my emotions,

where do I come from?

So I started really
getting the sense

that the psychedelics
were a doorway

to a deeper understanding
of myself and of reality

and of spirituality.

(psychedelic rock music)

And I felt that this was

what I wanted to do
with my life.

I wanted to bring back
psychedelic research,

become a psychedelic therapist.

- Esalen, it was the Human
Potential Movement.

It was Eastern
and Western philosophy.

It was forms of meditation
and body work.

We had helped to organize
a conference on psychedelics.

Most of the drugs
that are prescribed for,

whether it's depression
or anxiety and so on,

are drugs that
you take every day.

You can develop
a tolerance to them.

There are a lot
of side effects to them.

I was part of the group
that was trying out

these different analogues,

but none of them quite hit it
the same way,

with the same
heart-opening sense

of safety and compassion.

There just wasn't one

that quite did what MDMA did.

I met with Rick Doblin
at Esalen.

That's actually a couple years

after I had been working
with MDMA.

He was a bright, young,

enthusiastic guy, and, you kno,

a kind of handsome guy,

and he had great energy.

And I was bringing some MDMA

to some other friends
that were there.

- I saw a group of people

in a circle doing MDMA

and talking to each other.

And I thought, this is trivial.

And my initial impression was,
I'm not that interested in it.

- Rick's kind of going, oh,
well, I already love myself

and everybody,

and I don't have any problems
with communication.

So he's kind of like, yeah,
kind of dissing it.

And as Rick likes to say,

he was smart enough to buy some.

- And so I took some home
and did it with my girlfriend

and was just shocked.

(soft music)

I thought, this drug is amazin.

It was eye-opening
and just like,

this is a new, better way
of processing.

I felt like we could talk

at a level of clarity

and sensitivity

and lack of defensiveness
like never before.

The drug is helping us

express how much
we love each other,

but the love didn't come
from the drug.

This is a tool that can
really open up myself,

others, the culture to the value

of psychedelics.

- My phone rings,

and wow, he's just blasting
through the phone.

He's ecstatic.

And he starts thanking me.

And so he was just on fire.

He just loved it.

And so we became friends,

because we both wanted
to be therapists,

and we thought psychedelics
could facilitate that,

and especially MDMA.

(disco music)

They knew that
it wasn't illegal,

but they knew that it could
easily become illegal.

- So we started
Earth Metabolic Design Lab

to gather the support
of the psychedelic community,

to have a non-profit context.

And so we're having
these meetings at Esalen

of sort of people
from the psychedelic 60s

and underground
psychedelic therapy.

This is where I learned
about Sasha Shulgin

and the whole
psychedelic underground.

Sasha Shulgin is
a brilliant chemist.

- Sasha was the one who
published on the human studies,

and so he's been kind of called

the godfather of MDMA.

- Sasha would develop new drugs.
He would take it himself first.

If he thought
it was interesting,

then it would go to this group
of 12 people

that would meet periodically
to try new drugs.

Sasha did say that
of all the MDMA-like drugs

that he developed,
MDMA was the best.

And from the middle 70s
to the early 80s,

around half a million doses
were used.

Some of it was
for couples therapy,

you know, personal growth.

And out of that

is where the word spread.

And that's where eventually
Michael heard about it.

(pop music)

- It's just like...

the universe gives you a mission
and you just go for it.

In researching it,

I found out
that Alexander Shulgin

was giving a talk at University
of California, Santa Barbara.

I was living in Dallas
at the time

and I went and I attended it

and I intended to ask him

about: how do I make this?

I mean, this is
incredible stuff.

So I went up for the talk.

- This is a start.
Thank you very much.

(applause)

- They carried him off
the stage on their shoulders.

And I didn't get
a chance to talk to him.

I was walking down
the beach after that

and happened to run into him.

Mr. Shulgin?

Hi!

Clegg. I'm Michael Clegg.

I just happened to recognize hm
and said, oh my God, I came hee

because I have this mission

to bring this to the world.

He was all happy about that.

He loved my project.

And he said,

I've already given
the formula in a book.

And he gave me the name of it.

The man had made it
public information

so that it would not get lost.

Even though he didn't
really know me,

he and I had a perfect fit.

And from there,

it just all flowed perfectly.

- Apparently, Michael Clegg
went around telling people

that Alexander Shulgin
gave him the formula

and gave him, like, his blessig

to go forth and make...

It was complete nonsense.

- If that part is true, I do
know that Sasha regretted it.

- In fact, he was, you know,

quite shocked to find out
what he was up to.

Sasha didn't want it
to become illegal.

- Got the book immediately.

Got hold of a chemist

in New York City

who couldn't quite
make it crystallize.

I was like a
heat-seeking rocket on this.

So I started all over again

with a Filipino woman

that was a PhD chemist.

- In 1979, I moved to Intel,

a semiconductor company.

I was employed at the quality
control division

of the wafer fabrication
processes.

Howard Butcher,
my boss and mentor,

he took me aside and asked me

if I wanted to do
some consulting.

I had heard

that he was hired
to synthesize MDMA

at the gram level.

The consulting work
with Howard Butcher

was done after hours.

I put together all the equipmet

that I would need,

and I went to the laboratory
and executed.

I was given the Merck patent

and it wasn't mentioned there

that it was an amphetamine.

It was 3,4-methylenedioxy

isopropylamine.

It was just the molecule,

you know, the legality was not
a question at that point.

It didn't matter to me.

It was a molecule

that was simply progressing into
some kind of commercial state.

So that was when I had
to pretty much create

the crystallization process.

I put the material
in a Petri dish,

inside a desiccator,
put a little vacuum,

and bubbled in
hydrogen chloride gas.

Slowly but surely,

the following morning,
lo and behold,

it was "Eureka!"

("I Want to See the Light"
by Rational Youth)

My first experience was really
a moment of creation.

It was like the first substance

that I had a really close
relationship with.

It was very exciting.

He told me I needed
to yield one gram,

and one gram only.

So he took that one gram,

and after it tested,

then he told Michael Clegg.

- And she did it, and it was
so pure and so beautiful.

Nothing like the ecstasy that's
out there in the streets now.

- I had the pleasure
of taking a bunch

of Michael Clegg's ecstasy.

And it was just as good

as the atom

that was being made

by people at MIT using
therapeutic circles.

We met at a conference.

And we did want to help him

do what he was doing

in as effective a way
as possible.

You know, Sasha had written
several-page documents

to prepare people for MDMA.

So we tried to sort of share,
here's the therapeutic way

to get the best benefits
out of it.

And we're like,
you should hand this out.

There was one way in which
Michael Clegg's ecstasy

was better, in that
it was in tablets

rather than powder,

so that it was easier

to have it look
like a normal thing.

- Today, we are gonna share
something

a little bit more exciting.

We're giving it away.

This is just giving it

to friends and acquaintances

in Dallas to get started.

To new experiences.

I always had this image
that instead of giving

the Eucharist to people,
I'm giving them ecstasy,

which is totally closer to God

than some piece of bread.

("Talking In Your Sleep"
by The Romantics)

Ecstasy takes away all fear.

People that didn't know

that they knew how to dance

all of a sudden were exploring.

It didn't take very long

and people were bringing
their friends

and their friends
were bringing friends,

and pretty soon, I couldn't
afford to give it away anymore.

I had to start charging for it.

(energetic music)

- Up in Mendocino,
it's a small town.

People pretty much knew

I had a reputation
as a pot smuggler.

A good reputation.

I had plenty of money,
I didn't need to work,

so I retired.

You know, I basically
played music and partied

and had a grand time
for seven years,

but cocaine slipped
into the picture.

It got a hold of me pretty good.

You know, I had a few times
when...

I didn't know if I was going
to make it, it felt so bad.

So I knew I had a problem,

and I tried to stop it
a number of times.

But I always managed
to get back into it.

("Lay It on the Line"
by Triumph)

(doorbell chiming)

One day, I get a knock
on the door.

And there's this fellow
down there, I thought he was

a salesman selling
vacuum cleaners or something.

But he was persistent,

so I went down
and talked to him.

I asked him what he wanted,
and he said

he wanted to introduce me

to a new drug.

It's the last thing I wanted,

to get involved

in the drug business.

I'm not interested, buddy.

Michael Clegg was
an interesting guy.

When I first met him,

he really had his heart and sol

into the good that
it would bring to people.

- These things, they...

They can change your life, man.

Call me.

- He gave me a bunch
of literature on MDMA.

And over a period of about
a month, I read all of it.

He said, well,
can we talk some more?

And I said, sure,
come on over to my house.

- Just relax

and let the music guide you.

- So that evening, he brought
his wife, Paulina,

over, and the two of them
sat down and said,

you know, we'd like
to share it with you,

because we think this
will probably help you

with your cocaine issue.

MDMA was legal.

It was brand new, really.

There was no laws against it.

So I said, OK, let me try it.

He put on a tape by Deuter

called Ecstasy,

and it was just unbelievable.

I love all types of music,

but this just got me.

And all of a sudden,
the music came on,

and it almost lifted me
out of my couch.

I felt like I was levitating.
I felt so good.

It was like a heavenly
experience.

It was just unbelievable.

This angst I had in me

that I'd carried for seven years

just kind of evaporated.

It was amazing.

And I thought,

wow, why in the world
would you ever do coke

when you have
something like this?

It was many, many,
many years ago,

and I've never touched coke

or thought about it.

That was it.

One shot and that was over.

Just absolutely amazing.

I'll be forever grateful

that he came to my place
and let me

have that opportunity.

I just...

I can't.

(stammering)

- Oh my God, we know.

- What do you call this stuff?

- It's therapy.

- I told Michael, you know,
that album you gave me,

uh, named Ecstasy,
that's absolutely

the perfect name.

Ecstasy.

That's what it is.

- The experience
is pure ecstasy.

So why not call it ecstasy?

- That's how it went down,

and it stuck.

- Here comes Howard again.

We're scaling up.

Would you like to continue?

I said, well, yes,
I just have to be paid more,

just a little more.

And I agreed.

And that was the first time
I met Michael Clegg.

Michael Clegg was very casual
at that time.

I mean, he was easy to be with.

I mean, he stated
what he needed, and...

and then he left.

All right, let's get started,
shall we?

The Drisura boys
were seminarians

with Michael Clegg,
and they all left

to pursue civilian life.

But upscaling
from one gram to 100,

it's much more complex.

- Yeah, we understand.
- We got it, yeah.

(pop music)

- The goal was to get
the Drisura boys

up and running.

They knew nothing
about chemistry.

How do I teach this layperson

how to handle chemicals?

It was pretty demanding.

It took us probably
two to three weeks

to get to the end result.

- My distribution points
were basically Dallas

and some friends in California.

And that was it.
That was the beginning.

- Ecstasy.

That's what we're
calling it, boys.

And it's perfectly legal.

When I started selling MDMA,

I had a purpose in life.

There was millions
of people in the US

that were strung out on coke.

And I thought this would be
a wonderful way

to get them off of that.

The next day, everybody
was back wanting more.

I'm going to need another
5,000 more at least to start.

- Whatever you need, you got it.

- So off we went to the races.

(energetic music)

I was driving back
and forth and picking up

20,000, 30,000,

50,000.

I went from zero production

to 50,000 in a couple months.

Sales were going extremely fas.

We were selling a million
dollars a month.

And most of the buyers
were bartenders.

(pop music)

- Handling the money

was the hardest part
of the whole project.

What do you do
with all that cash?

I had more money
than God at that time.

I could buy anything I want.

Planes, boats, real estate.

(pop music)

Pauline was not only
a great wife and companion,

but she was a tremendous
businesswoman.

Oh, my God.

She handled the money,
and I handled the product.

- I handed him a lot of money,

and he talked too much
about the money.

You got to keep your money

to yourself for a while.

Put it someplace
that nobody can find it.

- I was converting cash
into gold,

and I had to store
the gold somewhere.

I buried a lot of gold

under the doghouse.

I bought some property

near Vancouver

and buried a lot
of gold up there.

And that gold is still there.
I don't know where it's at.

There's millions of dollars of
gold up in Vancouver somewhere.

- We all know that Edgar Cayce
was the most renowned medium

and psychic of our time.

Peter Weber is said to be
the next Edgar Cayce.

In his channeling,
he is known to call upon

an entity named Ross Peterson.

Ross Peterson is actually
Peter Weber's higher self.

Tell the audience at home
about your spiritual journey.

- You know, when Michael
got into a haze,

we hired these psychics
to help him make a decision

or help him

give sight to what's going on.

- What is it like
being a clairvoyant?

- It wasn't by choice.

I was born this way.

- Paulina, that's him.
That's the guy.

- What guy?
- From the book, Peter Weber.

- Peter Weber?

He's the clairvoyant
I was telling you about.

Gentlemen of the Texas Group,

as we all know,
we are on the cusp

of an evolution.

Our product is the key
to the human soul.

But today, I wanted
to introduce you to my new...

spiritual business advisor,

Peter Weber.

Peter!

(upbeat music)

- Drugs are menacing
our society.

They're threatening our values

and undercutting
our institutions.

- This was the time of Nancy
Reagan and Ronald Reagan

and the escalation
of the drug war.

It was clearly doomed.
It was going to be criminalized.

- Say no to drugs

and say yes to life.

- I knew the DEA would be
interested in something

earth-shattering
as this would be.

I could see this
overtaking marijuana

and cocaine overnight,

because it's so much better,

so much, at every level.

- But we were concerned

that what was going to happen

was the more public use
of ecstasy

was going to end up

criminalizing
the therapeutic use.

Michael Clegg had an 800 number.

You could dial 1-800-ECSTASY

and buy as much as you wanted
on your credit card.

Sasha said, you know, please,
you know, maybe you and Debby

can go up there
and talk to this guy,

because he was ramping up
his machine,

you know, producing
more and more and more.

This was going to explode
because what we were afraid of

is that we would be pushed
into emergency scheduling.

And if that happened,
then we would have no time

to build our case,
we would have no time

to produce the research papers

and things that could
support the case for MDMA.

So I asked Rick Doblin,
would you come with me?

And he said yes.

- So, the scheduling of drugs
is done not by the FDA,

but by the Drug Enforcement
Administration.

Schedule 1 is for drugs that
have a high potential for abuse,

no currently accepted
medical use.

Heroin is in Schedule 1.

- We arrive at this big,
beautiful home.

You know, it's just gorgeous.

Looks like something
out of Architectural Digest.

He opens the door.

He was pleasant looking, kind of
a cherubic face, you know.

- You like the champagne?

- Very good. Thank you.

What we were saying is,

could you keep this
a little bit more quiet?

And he wasn't
willing to do that.

- MDMA isn't just a drug.

It's a tool.
I'm not just selling a high.

I'm elevating consciousness.

I want everyone
to experience it,

not just the people
who can afford your retreats.

- You're putting a target
on everyone's back.

- Michael seemed kind of slick.

He seemed kind of,

you know, interested
in making lots of money.

He didn't really care

that what they were doing

was going to criminalize
the therapeutic use.

But he also did have
this messianic kind of,

let's spread MDMA to the world.

- It's not illegal!

I've cured people of addictions.

I've opened hearts.
I've opened minds.

What do you think I am,
a street pusher?

I was trying to get it
blasted out there, yeah.

(laughing)

The last thing I was trying
to do was hide it.

- We went back and forth
for many, many hours.

He finally just said,
frankly, Debby,

if it goes illegal,
I'll just make more money.

And I went, OK.

I mean, I was almost grateful
because I felt like, OK,

at least he's being honest.

That's his bottom line.

That's where his value is.

- So my approach to Michael wa,

we would like you

to make a donation to us
to help fight

the criminalization
that you are causing.

It will make it so that it will
stay legal longer for you.

And it will also enable us

to raise resources to go

and to fight the DEA.

- How would you like
20,000 pills?

I just remember loving Rick
from the first time I met him.

And really understanding
his cause.

- The optics, I said,

it will look like
we were just a front

for the biggest drug
manufacturer in the country.

This was a major point
of difference

between Rick and myself.

- 20,000 and we'll
figure out the rest.

Didn't even matter,

because it was like confetti,
you know.

- Michael, on the one hand,

was the key person responsible

for the criminalization
of MDMA ecstasy,

but through the donation

of a tiny fraction
of the amount of MDMA

that he was making, enabled us

to get the information
that we needed,

the data that we needed

to start the whole process
of medicalizing MDMA.

(energetic music)

We knew that the DEA
was going to come for us

because they knew about ecstas.

But we also knew
that the DEA didn't know

about the therapeutic use.

And so that gave us
this opportunity

to share MDMA with
a lot of different people

who would not have done it
if it was illegal.

We tried to cede it
to different people

who would speak out in the media

to protect MDMA.

Rabbi Zalman Schachter,
who was kind of a Jewish mystic,

several different leaders
of the Zen community

around the world
and other Catholic mystics,

and these various people
then took MDMA

and then reported back
what their experience was.

- I managed to make a connectin

with a fellow that was one

of the biggest coke dealers
in the country.

His nickname was The Devil.

I thought, now here's
a great opportunity.

I wonder if I can turn him on,
if I can get him turned on,

maybe he can switch
all these people

that are buying his cocaine.

So I flew down to Newport
and had a meeting with him.

And it was difficult at first,

because I told him
I had a new drug.

But I finally got him
to try some.

He said,

This has really lit me up.

This is the best thing
that's ever happened.

I just can't believe
how wonderful.

This is going to change
the world overnight.

We shake hands,
that's the deal.

(laughing)

Initially, Michael
was very authentic

with his love for the effects.

- Baby!

- But then it turned.

It turned rather quick
when it got

into the large production.

By this time,
I was starting to see

this avarice in his eyes,

the way he would take
the money and just...

act like it was Play-Doh.

His eyes would glaze over,

and also Paulina, too.

Their attitudes
showed through, you know.

But I said,

now we're talking
with the big guys now.

- Bob, it's no problem, baby.

Relax.

- And then The Devil would
fly up and bring over the mone,

and there was nothing.

Michael didn't show up.

So I drove over to his place,

knocked on the door and said,

Where are you, you know?

I got the biggest coke dealer
in the country

getting ready to switch over
to ecstasy.

He loves it. His people love it.

And he ordered a million
and you said you could do it.

He's sitting there
waiting with the money.

Where's the stuff?

(energetic music)

- That's it.

- I said a million.
This isn't even half.

(beeping)
- That's my meditation bell.

- In the cocaine business,

you can't say,

I'm gonna do something
and then don't do it.

It's a chain reaction of people

who get in serious trouble.

We're switching businesses

from cocaine to MDMA,

which is wonderful,

but the business connections
that they had

were serious people.

It wasn't a loving,
hugging group of people.

The Devil was angry.

There was a chain reaction
of fury.

And this...

caused me a lot of grief.

So I realized I couldn't
depend on Michael anymore.

I later found out that
he had made a connection

with the Bhagwan's people
up in Oregon,

the Rajneeshees, and had sold
the million to them

for $15 a pill, instead of $3.

- More than 85,000 people a yer
come here to learn

about the teachings
of one Sri Rajneesh.

- My wife was part
of the Osho Ashram group,

so when he opened up
the ranch up in Oregon,

we were some of the first peope
to go up there

and be with him.

- It was all legal,
totally legal.

Just too good to be true.

It was everywhere.
It was in the New York Times.

Socialites parties
were talking about it,

and the DEA was making
a bunch of claims, and I knew

that it was any time.

- The drug dealers need to know

that we want them
out of our schools,

neighborhoods, and our lives.

- I said, I'm going to stop

before it becomes illegal.

I stepped out of the business.

I ended up getting stung

for this pot deal.

And because of my association
with The Devil,

they thought that I was
in the cocaine business.

But I never sold a gram
of coke in my life.

But anyways, I had to
go to prison, four years.

(bell ringing)

- Please remove all negative
influences from this mind,

and please notify us when
this has been accomplished.

- Done.

- Peter was there
from the very start.

He was most likely

his counselor, go-to person

when things got befuddled,

and he gave general
direction, you know,

for continuing MDMA.

- Talking about our project,

there has been
a situation come up

where you might locate
the form of Bob McMillen,

who is probably
in a federal penitentiary

somewhere around Denver.

Can you locate this form?

- We can locate the form,

although not at
this exact location.

Yes.

- Right, uh...

We're not exactly sure
if he's still being held there.

- If you're walking at the beach

and you reach down
and grab that of a clam,

then ye have that of the symbol

that this entity embodies

as far as thy fears
are concerned.

See?

- A clam meaning
he isn't talking.

- Absolutely, the entity
reveres silence.

Therefore,
he's divulging nothing.

See?

- That makes
perfect sense to me.

That's perfectly logical.
Thank you.

- So we knew that the DEA
was going to come after us,

but the DEA did not
know that we existed.

What had started happening
was a big struggle

inside Earth Metabolic
Design Lab.

And it was about
what we said in public.

They felt publicly
we should only say

that we're in favor
of MDMA being a medicine,

and that we should concede
that it's OK

that it's being criminalized

for recreational purposes.

And I didn't feel
that way at all.

I felt that we have
to really argue

against the criminalization
as a whole.

- And then this last one

didn't take change much.

It was all about strategy.

And Rick can be a little
pig-headed sometimes

about things.

- Debby, we talked
about this.

- Rick, can you just leave it
till later, please?

- You know what?
- It's not working.

- No, you're right.
It's not working.

- Rick.

(upbeat theme music)

- Well, guess what?
We've got another drug.

It is synthetic.

And it makes you love everybod.

It's called ecstasy. Now who
doesn't want to take ecstasy?

- The Phil Donahue show
is wanting to do a story,

a show on MDMA,

and they contacted me.

I realized that for me

to be a spokesperson

on the Donahue Show, saying
what I believed to be the case,

would be a problem.

I'm saying, OK, let's get
Bob Schuster on the show.

Bob Schuster, he was
from University of Chicago,

and he told me

that he thought MDMA
should be in Schedule 3,

which is meaning
available as a medicine.

Schuster told the story of what
I actually wanted him to say,

it should be in Schedule 3,
but he mentioned

this issue about neurotoxicity.

Gene Haislip from the DEA
was also on the show.

- The drug has been around
for several years,

but what we've seen
in the last couple of years

is an escalation
of the availability.

- The DEA freaked out,

and Gene Haislip decided

that he could turn this fear
of neurotoxicity

into a justification
for emergency scheduling MDMA,

which happened in 1985.

It was just...

the law of unintended
consequences.

- I don't know that
that was Rick's fault,

that's just, it happened,
it was unfortunate.

- Senator Bentsen urged the Drg
Enforcement Administration

to hold hearings
to determine whether MDMA

should be declared Schedule I.

- I refused to stop talking

about how I think it should
not be criminalized at all.

And that created
a lot of division.

And I realized that
I really had to resign

from Earth Metabolic Design Lab
and start something new.

But it was out of despair,
out of desperation.

There was no other way forward.

And so I thought I would just
become a pharmaceutical compan.

- This morning, the Drug
Enforcement Administration

is announcing its intention

to place the drug known as MDM,

or by the street name ecstasy,

under emergency controls
of Schedule 1.

This control will impose
criminal penalties

for both unauthorized
manufacture and distribution

of up to 15 years.

- What we did was
move the operation

out of the United States

and only sell it in countries
where it was legal.

That was the whole goal.

I knew the DEA was serious

and I didn't want
to get involved.

I didn't want to get arrested.

The momentum was so strong.

We didn't want it to stop.

- I then met Michael sometime
in 1985 in California.

And he said, would you meet us

at the General Aviation
Terminal?

He came on a Learjet.

It was a local airport,
small airport in Santa Clara,

California.

And I walked inside,

and there they were.

(laughing)

I knew that it was a big momen.

- Sit, sit, sit, sit.

- When I first met
Michael Clegg,

I thought he had the
deepest blue eyes, right?

He seemed to have some
kind of power behind him.

He was really
dressed to the nine.

Paulina was dressed in white,

and he was also
dressed in white.

It seemed to me

that he has arrived and
something big is coming down.

And he introduced me
to Walter Franz.

- Carina is the mother
of our beloved molecule.

We are all very well acquainted
with your work.

- And as beautiful
as she is talented.

- Indeed. Walter Franz here is
my CFO with the Texas Group.

- Walter Franz turned his head

and he looked through me.

He didn't just look at me.

And I felt that stare,

it just really pierced,
you know, through me.

- If you accept our offer,

Walt here will work with you
in the financials

to make sure that you, uh,
that you want for nothing.

I want to give you
your own facility,

anything that you need.

- Uh...

I'm flattered.

Michael and Paulina,

they were playful spirits,

but it just... I just
didn't get it, right?

- What do you say?
- What do you say?

- Um...

OK.

(laughing)

It was just going to be

a major scale-up.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

("Everybody Wants to Rule
the World" by Tears for Fears)

I then took MDMA

at the Sheraton Round Barn.

So they told me,

it is now time for you to know

exactly what you have made.

They're telling me
I have done this.

Whoa, that was a big, big load
to carry at that point.

She told me,

this is really big.

This is bigger than you and me.

In the peak of the high,

my heart just...

exploded.

And...

I did recognize
that it was bigger than me.

And that's why time
was always running out,

and I was embracing something...

so much bigger.

("(I Just) Died in Your Arms"
by Cutting Crew)

I took it with Walt.

And the experience escalated,

and that was our beginning.

I think...

to realize that
from any human standpoint,

I love you,

is really big.

Don't you think?

(upbeat music)

So there was this window of time

when the material could move
outside of the United States

into Mexico where it was legal.

And Walt and the
executive committee,

they orchestrated that.

- We changed the marketing
and the production,

moved it out of the country,

and no sales in the country.

Basically, Europe was
our whole marketplace.

("Heart of Glass" by Blondie)

- First, we ordered materials.

I outworked the three men.

I sent them home,

and I finished the first batch,

single-handedly, right?

I would take MDMA

before I went to the laboratory,

just so I can get in tune

to essentially what's
happening over there.

I mean, like fast-track

the attunement,

but it was to essentially

elicit that synergistic effect

between the substance
that's already in me

versus the crystals
that are in front of me.

We were probably the largest
producer of MDMA

in that time period.

- From 1986 to 1992,

MAPS submitted
five different protocols

with various scientists

to the FDA for MDMA research.

And all of these protocols
were rejected by the FDA.

Science had published a paper

that they never
should have published,

and it was a paper
done by George Ricaurte

and Una McCann, funded by NIDA,

that claimed that MDMA
could hurt dopamine

and could cause Parkinson's.

And they did a study
in primates,

and they killed a bunch
of the primates,

and they reduced their dopamine.

And at the end of the year,
they came out and said

that they had made a terrible,
terrible mistake,

that they had mistakenly
given methamphetamine

instead of MDMA
to these animals.

The criminalization prevented
the harm reduction

that should have been done.

It's only when the FDA says yes
to something being medicine

that it can be rescheduled.

So that was clear for us that
we needed to go through the FD.

It's just enormously
expensive and time-consuming.

But I felt that that was
the only way forward.

So I thought, OK, I'll try tha,

no matter how hard it is.

(electronic pop music)

- The Ibiza supply,

they were selling
so much ecstasy.

Actually, it turned out
that my distributor

for all of Europe
was one of the sannyasins

I met up there at the ranch.

I looked him up
and he was great.

Island of Ibiza? Should have
called it the Island of Ecstas.

It was just my mission.

Get this out to the world.

And I was having fun doing it.

In Ibiza, ecstasy
replaced cocaine

as the drug of choice.

- Although the Mexican facility
continued to produce,

the money from sales was not
promptly being delivered.

In Mexico, I didn't feel that
I was supported with Michael.

He was jealous of
my relationship with Walt,

because he made comments
that, oh,

he married the chemist, right?

And he saw... success.

And with that,

he probably equated that
with power.

That may have caused a rift

in that relationship.

We had a function,
and we had to execute it.

I mean, with
or without him, right?

(thunder rumbling)

- Ah...

I want to create a real
experience for people.

Retreats,

a place for seekers,

a haven for the mind.

I feel you'd be the man for it.

- Michael reached out
to me in March

of 1988, and then I met him
in April of 1988.

He wanted to find a new chemist

to produce the material for him.

So, of course, I was
interested in this

because this was
my lifelong dream.

My real interest started

when I ran across a Playboy
magazine article

called Future Highs.

And there was a fascinating
quote that I thought was...

one of the most profound things
I've ever heard,

"What I look for
are the connections

between molecular structure
and consciousness."

When I read that,
it just blew me away,

and I knew right then I didn't
want to be a medical doctor,

I wanted to be a chemist.

Let's say you wanted
to scale it up further.

What would you do?

- I'd rather use
larger scale reactors.

It'd be more efficient.

- Hey, whatever you need,
you got it.

We'll go wherever we need to,
wherever best.

Some people think
they're owed everything.

Nothing's enough.

- Walter was Michael's
accountant.

If he controlled Michael's money

and she controlled the MDMA,

they had control over Michael.

Then he was really outraged
when they said, oh, by the way,

we're a married couple now.

That's when Michael lost it.

He had only been paying
$2,000 a kilo prior to that,

and they unilaterally decided

they wanted to raise the price
to $7,000 a kilo,

which was the reason he decided
to find a new chemist,

because he didn't want to work
with them and pay those prices,

even though he was still
making the lion's share.

- It was harder and harder

to get the funding and support.

And we had to pay the people.
We had to let go of the people.

We had to use our own money
when the money didn't come.

- We're making our plans, Walt.

The money's being moved,
invested.

You know? We can't really
talk about it right now.

- It's not your money,
that's our money.

- It was pretty dark
and intense.

Things didn't pan out
really well,

so anxiety levels were
at an all-time high.

It was very trying, right?

The Mexican facility
was shut down before 1988

because there was no money

coming from the Texas group

to support that plant.

- He told me, "I'll never
have anything to do

"with Walter and Carina again.

"She's nice,
and she's competent,

"and I love her,
but I can't stand Walter,

and he's corrupted her."

Mexico shut down.

The operation was going to move.

I said, I would prefer
that we did this in a country

where MDMA is still
completely legal

for us to be able to do
this work openly.

So that was the dream.
That was the goal.

(Latin music)

So I finally connect
with Michael, and he says,

I've got the perfect location
for us to set up.

- All of the corporations I had
for business were Panamanian.

- He goes, all right,
we're going to Panama.

And I just laughed at him.
I said, are you joking?

Michael invested
millions of dollars.

I told him he was crazy.

He said, don't be closed-minded.

Keep an open mind
until you meet Werner.

Werner was a very impressive,
tall, distinguished,

stereotypical Swiss businessma.

Werner's wife was Simone.

She was a cosmetologist
in Panama

for an upper-class clientele.

And it just so happened that
the dictator, Manuel Noriega,

was one of her clients.

Noriega had severe acne scars,

and she was treating him
for his acne.

He was eager to try MDMA.

He and Simone went to one
of his remote beach houses

and took MDMA together.

He curled up in a fetal positin

and put his head in her lap

and was crying like a baby.

He was reliving...

He was reliving
his childhood trauma

and talking about,
his nickname growing up

was Cara de Piña,

which is pineapple face,

because of the acne, and he said

that no woman would ever
love him with that face.

And he was so impressed
by the experience

that he offered
Simone and Werner

the opportunity to set up a
manufacturing facility in Panama

under his protection.

And then we turn on the news
on December 20th of 1989

and see helicopters
attacking Panama.

All of a sudden, I get
a call one day from Werner.

He says, Michael's withdrawn
all of his support for Panama

and wants to go
to Brazil instead.

(lively music)

- Ecstasy was legal in Brazil.

They didn't even know
what it was.

They'd never even heard of it.

We bought
a pharmaceutical company

that was legally making
pharmaceutical products

and started making
ecstasy there.

And we needed
the whole facility.

- So we found the old facility.
It was completely broken down.

Bom dia.

You would have had an easier
time trying to buy

weapons-grade plutonium
at the time

than to buy any large quantities
of methylamine.

I found a Brazilian
chemical directory

and found a company
in Sao Paulo.

I said, I'd like to get
20,000 kilos

of the material.

And it was enough to make
10 million doses of MDMA.

Michael thought that
that was great,

that we were gonna
take it up a notch,

because he was still envisioning

from 100 kilos to metric ton
quantities of MDMA every month.

- It was like this beast
that had to be fed.

Whatever you come up with,

the mind can find
a better way to do it.

And urges you,

like you need more,
like you need more love,

you need more money,
you need more health.

That's a low level
of consciousness.

("Smalltown Boy"
by Bronski Beat)

- The 1990s was a very exciting
time to be a DEA agent.

I was looking forward to Mondays
and it was a lot of fun.

It was just a normal day
at the office,

and we were working
with a cooperating source,

and this cooperating source

was hoping for a reduction
in his sentence.

And the source asked
if we'd ever heard of ecstasy.

I didn't know what it was.

We provided
an undercover address

to send a sample of MDMA.

Two or three days later,
I checked,

and inside the envelope
was an ink pen.

It was MDMA
of very good quality.

Also during that phone call,

this cooperating source
indicated

that there was
an older gentleman he knew

that was sitting
on a kilogram of MDMA.

He was later identified
as Peter Weber.

Peter Weber flew
to Jacksonville, Florida,

met with us,

and we subsequently
arrested Weber.

we get a telephone call
from his attorney

saying that Mr. Weber would like
to fully cooperate with us.

Apparently, Weber
was a clairvoyant.

So if you're so clairvoyant,

how come you didn't see us
busting you in Jacksonville?

And Weber said he had the flu.

- Sinuses interfere
with the signals.

(chuckling)
- It's fact.

Weber told us that Clegg
was a former priest,

and that he was the CEO,
if you will.

He was the big guy
of this MDMA organization.

And he also identified
several other players.

He talked about a couple
of chemists that worked

for the organization.

At some point, Weber's
information helped us

to identify the aircraft
and also conduct

an electronic surveillance
of that aircraft.

(electronic music)

(beeping)

Weber told me
that he had a SkyTel pager,

a US-wide pager.

And we thought, hey,
that's pretty super cool.

We'd go meet Weber,

take him to a pay phone,

and we would record calls
to Clegg and other individuals.

Weber's phone calls

led to undercover meetings
in person,

in which Clegg would totally
incriminate himself and others.

- I need to know

if there's anything I need
to be worried about.

- Here?
- Yes!

I need Ross Peterson.

- Ross Peterson?

- Mmm...

- Clegg talked
about the organization.

They were all incriminated,
and Clegg buried himself.

It was an illegal drug.

They were breaking the law,

and they had to be taken down.

(electronic dance music)

- Whoa. Slow down.

What?

Michael told all of us

that, definitively, MDMA
was still legal in Brazil.

Trouble is, this was
before the internet.

Werner has gotten some feedback
from attorneys

about the status of MDMA
in Brazil.

In May of 1990,

he came back and said,

"I have bad news.

This drug is not legal
in Brazil."

So I said, "I'm not
willing to take a risk

of doing anything illegal, are
you?" And he said, no, no way.

I'm not going firm
until we know the status.

We can ship it to somewhere
where it's still legal

and finish it there, OK?
- Hey, we're working on that.

We're moving the operation
to Africa.

- Africa?

James is one of the smugglers,

so he goes to West Africa,

is introduced to
the prime minister,

turns the prime minister
and his wife on to MDMA,

and just like Noriega,

they're excited about the idea
of psychedelic tourism

and invite to manufacture MDMA

in Ghana under their protection.

And now Paulina's pissed

that they haven't got anything
to show for all the money

that they put in so far,

so they begged
and pleaded with me

to make some MDMA for them.

So I wrestled with that
for quite a while.

I decided to go ahead
and make some MDMA,

which was supposed to help
fund the project legally

in Western Africa at that point.

It worked better on a lab scale
than it did on scale-up.

There were some problems.

April of '91, I hear

that Paulina was disturbed

that things weren't happening
faster in Brazil.

So she needed Michael
to go back in

to try to make amends
with Carina.

- Michael Clegg came to visit s
in Lake Tahoe.

We opened our home,
and I was actually mad

and furious at Walt
for having done that.

Michael Clegg was still
in the sales operation of MDMA,

and we had to kind
of protect ourselves.

Walt and I had this line

that there would be no nexus
to the United States.

Well, I'm sorry you made
this trip for nothing.

- Carina.

- Good. Listen,

the past is in the past.

I'm ready to move on if you are.

If you agree,
then you come on board,

you do your work,
you get paid, you leave.

- OK.

- There's no one who does
exactly like what you do.

- There's a chemist down there.

He's had three years
down the line

and there's no product.

- Michael told her all these...

stories that I couldn't get
the product to crystallize,

that I was a burnt-out hippie
from the 60s,

all this kind of stuff.

(sighing)
- So...

what'll it take?

- Michael made the statement,

if it's $3 million
that you want,

then so be it.

That's what I'm gonna offer you
to go to Brazil.

- I can do three.

- I wasn't sure if I was already
pregnant at this time, I said,

I have to make a decision.

So I decided to go.

It's in Brazil.

It's my faint hope
that maybe it's legal there.

(lively music)

I had, like, a guardian
when I went to Brazil.

And Michael said,
You're going to go with someone.

He would not let Walt
travel with me.

You have to expand
the surface area

at a higher ratio
when crystallizing.

And I looked at it, and it
was almost like in polymer form,

you know, like taffy form.

It wasn't a liquid,
and it wasn't a crystal.

It was somewhere in between.

- She was very hostile.

She was putting pressure on me

to get all the lab notebooks
and production records.

And I couldn't understand

why she was so insistent
at the time,

and I knew that what they
wanted to do was push me aside.

Making MDMA isn't the issue.

After the first night
of hostility,

I asked her if she wanted
to take MDMA.

And immediately, as soon as
she started feeling the effects,

she let her guard down,

and she wasn't acting like
Michael's henchman anymore.

I was drawing her in
to be more on my side.

Still wasn't ready to share
all my secrets with her, though.

- I said, how do you
crystallize? And he was doing

a wet crystallization process.

I said, let's do gas.

So we succeeded,

and I did see that the crystals
were generated.

The Brazilian operation

yielded 150 kilograms of MDMA

for Michael Clegg.

On the streets, that value
is $50 million.

And illegality is,
you know, right here.

So it's facing all of us, right?

- Everything that was made
in Brazil ended up in Europe.

It had its own momentum
from that point on.

I really wasn't doing
that much marketing.

We shipped it over there.
We shipped it legally.

You know, we declared it.

No problem.

I went to a different
disco every night.

We would bring it in
and give it away free.

Everybody get high.

And then the next day,

everybody was saying,
where can I get this?

That was great.

Basically, I traveled
around Europe.

It was the celebrity
of the century.

And everywhere you went,

you were more welcome
than God himself.

- But we need to be
vigilant with our supply

at least until Brazil
is in full operation.

- Millions of dollars
flown through it.

A playboy's hands
is not a good...

thing for marriage.

I was not a good husband.

I was too busy
promoting ecstasy.

It was fun for a while, but
again, like everything in life,

it wears off, you know, it...

It's not so much fun later on.

- Paulina told me
she wanted a divorce

because Michael would go
through these episodes,

from mania to severe depression,

where he would drink
himself into oblivion.

He was definitely falling apart.

And I'd never seen anybody
drink so much,

even when he was taking MDMA.

- When I had the most money
and the most toys,

I was the most unhappy
in my whole life.

I wished it would all stop,

you know, and just let us...

keep what we got
and settle down.

I wanted to get off
the merry-go-round.

I just couldn't. It was too big.

Please allow this body
to relax completely,

and please advise us when
this has been accomplished.

- It is.

- And he thought that they coud
tap into the spirit world

to find out

why nothing was working right
in the operation.

- Peter Weber was
being paid by the DEA

$2,700 a month

to point out where everyone is.

- I found a microcassette tape.

I could hear an individual

who I knew to be Peter Weber

in some type of trance.

And he's very asthmatic,

so Weber was very easy
to identify.

And people were asking him
questions,

specifically Michael Clegg.

- Give us the name
once more, please.

- Robert McMillen.

- Specifically, they talked

about an individual
named Bob McMillen,

who was the number one buyer

for Clegg's MDMA
in the United States.

And McMillen had apparently
got arrested by DEA

somewhere out west and
was serving time in prison.

It was obvious that Clegg
wanted to know

if McMillen was cooperating with
authorities. He was worried.

It was just crazy stuff,
but it was totally

incriminating.

- Would he also be
a danger to us

in our financial dealings
in Europe?

- Understand you this,

in any relationship
that is established,

it is always a relationship
that is deserved.

- I stopped in California.

I was staying out of the State.

I wasn't having anything to do.

I just had to refuel.

I flew in. Actually,

I had my little Jack Russell
Terrier with me.

(police sirens)

(dramatic music)

- DEA! Hands up!

You're under arrest, Clegg.

We decided to go ahead
and effect arrest of Clegg.

- They had the whole police
force out there.

It was quite a shock.

They were doing a victory danc.

You know, I'm on the ground
with my hands

handcuffed behind my back.

It's like they got Al Capone
or something.

That's why it was such an...

incredible fall

into nothingness.

- Around the time

that he's getting busted
is around the time

where the FDA opens the door
to psychedelic research.

(pop music)

- I get a call

from someone who says, Well,
you probably don't know me

or don't know who I am,
but my name is Rick Doblin.

He asked if I had any interest

in conducting research,
clinical research with MDMA.

And I said, absolutely.

This looks like
a fascinating compound.

I wrote up the protocol.

This was essentially

a phase one study

designed to explore safety

and physiological
and psychological effects

in normal volunteers.

The FDA convened

in mid-July 1992.

They debated my protocol

and we were formally approved.

- What the hell just happened?

It just felt like...

multiple decades of suppression
of research had ended.

When I look back right now,

that was the critical moment
in the entire history

over the last 50 years
of psychedelics.

- We walked to the remote part
of the parking lot.

No one could see us there.

And Rick took out a joint,
and we had a celebratory smoke.

(upbeat music)

- Good work, Doc.

- Great work, Dob.

- They wanted a life sentence

for that, life without parole.

- And I told them, I said, wel,

I won't fight this in court.

I'll cooperate with you

if you give her a pass.

They went after her
in a big way.

They called her the Queen Bee.

- It's their opportunity

to tell us everything.

It'll probably take you a while,

so get started on
your list of associates.

- I gave away

all the assets, too,

and got my wife free,
free and clear.

When they found out
the whole story,

they couldn't touch her.

(sorrowful music)

(police sirens)

(sobbing)

- I was appalled

that he didn't spare me,

and that I was the one

that kind of gave him success.

I was really
disappointed in that.

Michael Clegg gave me up

to spare Paulina.

When I got arrested,
Pauline went to Rick for help.

And they put up
an incredible legal defense.

I didn't have that much
to do with his defense.

But by this point in time,

we were trying
to make everything

that we did research public.

I thought it just was
another tragedy, in a way,

because the way I viewed it is,

a lot of people are benefiting

from having access to ecstasy.

There is irony that
Michael's donation

of the MDMA created
the resources

to do an initial safety study

in the summer of '84.

Then, starting in '92,

we were able to do

this dose response safety study.

- Dr. Grob, we have an issue.

- She said, Dr. Grob,
I have a problem.

I said, well, what's that?
She says, my nurses

are spending too much time
with your subjects.

So evidently, my subjects

were keenly interested

in the life histories
of their nurses.

So these subjects
were, you know,

were very empathic,

which is one of the salient
features of MDMA.

- What was helpful to Michael

was the early study that we did

and also the way
in which we had started

challenging the neurotoxicity

and also all these stories

of people that had

incredible therapeutic benefits.

When we think of
the number of veterans

that have committed suicide,
the number of people

that have committed
suicide from PTSD,

the number of people suffering,

there's just an enormous
amount of suffering

that could have been avoided

if the DEA

had never criminalized MDMA.

(unsettling music)

- They picked the worst,
most violent prison

in the whole system,
which was Terminal Island

in Long Beach.

That's where they sentenced me
to do my five years.

I was fearing for my life
every minute I was in there.

I mean, it was violent.

Stepping over bodies
occasionally, you know.

- Incarceration was one
of the toughest things

I've ever faced
in my entire life.

So I essentially raised

my spirituality to survive.

- I do my time
in the state prison

in Mule Creek.

So I thought I was free.

They sent me to Jacksonville.

And lo and behold,
there was Michael.

I got a call from the prosecutr

in Jacksonville, and he said,

Here's what Michael said.

And I couldn't believe it.

I was just stunned, you know?
I was stunned.

Michael,

we haven't worked
together for years.

Don't be sorry.

You tell them we don't work
together anymore.

He just bowed his head.

- I'm sorry, Bob.

- And I realized

he was trying to set me up.

He was trying to get
his get out of jail card.

Before I left,
I had a day with him.

And...

you know, I had lots
of feelings going on.

I feel sorry for you.

You know, it's a shame that...

that he's putting
all these good people away.

But you don't know
who I'm talking to

and what they've told us.

And we're gonna find out
if you're lying.

It's gonna come out,
and it's gonna hurt you.

Clegg did
what he was supposed to do.

That is, fully cooperate.

And there is
no in-between cooperation.

You either do it or you don't.

- It got so bad that I was

trying to get the orderlies
to bring me the cord,

the extension cord
for the vacuum cleaner,

because I was going
to hang myself.

That's how bad it was.

Bright light
in that whole prison

was a Muslim curator there

on the chapel.

He gave me permission

to go in there anytime I wante,

which is strictly
against the rules,

and meditate.

There is no awakening
without crisis.

There just isn't,

because you have to get
shocked into a space

where you know nothing,

where you know that everything
you've ever been taught

or learned is not true.

And then you start over.

(inspiring music)

It just broke through.

It was like a light shone on m.

It's like taking ecstasy
times a thousand.

I was so ecstatic,

I was non-functional,
definitely non-functional.

It was ironic that I found
what I was looking for

in the depths
of a violent prison.

And I had been searching
for so long for that reality

that when it came,
I recognized it.

You can't get that idea,

that knowingness,

through study or books.

It has to be an experience

of the source.

This pure, infinite energy

that has created this whole,

beautiful existence that we see.

Ecstasy brought me
to a point of despair

at the lowest levels.

And then from there,

it was an ecstasy that took me
the rest of the way.

I wrote the first book
in prison,

From Onions to Pearls,
and I wrote it

in five days.

You don't need a guru
to teach you.

Enlightenment comes from within.

When I wrote the first book,

I used my spiritual name

because Michael was gone.

There's no more Michael.

Can't even relate to Michael.

But I could relate
to Satyam Nadeen.

Osho picked out the name,

and it means "river
of truth" in Sanskrit.

- Join me in welcoming

Satyam Nadeen.

(laughing)

Is this namaste?

- That's what it is.

- Better tell our viewers
what that means.

- That means the divine in me

recognizes the divine in you,

meaning we're both
from the same energy.

- Yes.

("Spirit in the Sky"
by Norman Greenbaum)

- The renaissance of people
coming to Satsang

all over the world...

Europe is insane.

They're just so hungry

for consciousness,
it's unbelievable.

I would give talks here
at the Rainbow Spirit Festival,

there'd be like 3,000,
4,000 people coming.

Just couldn't get enough of it.

(crowd cheering)

- At the end of 2021,

the journal Science said
our paper in nature medicine

was one of the top 10
scientific breakthroughs

of the whole world.

In 2023, in September,

is when we published the resuls

of the second phase 3 study.

Both of these
tremendously successful.

So I think in the end,
we will have spent

somewhere in the neighborhood
of $300 million.

Not just to get
the drug approved,

but to build this
commercialization company,

which will be working
with thousands of therapists.

What's going on here is
a complete innovation

of combining psychotherapy
with pharmacotherapy.

I've consistently been wrong

on how much it costs
and how long it will take.

So, you know, I had a 5-year
plan for 15 years.

I've got a 10-year plan
for 20 years.

But I did feel over time

that there was

little bits of progress
here and there

that were enough to sustain me.

- I think nothing comes close

to the potential
that psychedelics carry.

I think they're
remarkable medicines,

and I think it allows psychiatry

to reclaim its old identity,

which was to be
healers of the soul.

- What I hope for in the future

is a spiritualized humanity

and mass mental health.

Those are our two end goals.

- It's about time that MDMA
became legal

for medical uses.

It allows you to look
at the problems that you had

and deal with it.

I handled my prison experience

much better because I had
a good headspace about it.

I have no hard feelings
for anybody.

- MDMA is taking its second turn

and humanity's consciousness

is being raised.

We have the opportunity

to save and move

millions of lives.

I am grateful
to be part of that...

uplift.

The therapists never gave up.

And MDMA's legality

or approach to legality
right now

is somewhat exonerating,

that everything I did

was worthwhile.

And I just want them to remember

that first time

and...

whose hands brought it to them.

- When you're totally
enlightened,

the only difference in your life

is that you say yes to every
moment that's happening.

Not, how can I change this?
How can I make it better?

How can I have more
spirituality or anything.

You're perfect
just the way you are.

You don't realize
how much fear you have

about everything.

And when your heart just opens,

all you feel is who you are.

Who are you? You're pure love.

That's your essence.

(pop music)