Original subtitles

-Ready? -Ready!

Pull!

Ready?

Pull!

Ready? Pull!

Ready? Pull!

Ready? Pull!

Send them back.

Pull!

Send them back.

I've had it, already!

Send it back.

-Mrs. Monestier? -Yes.

It's yours. I was told to give you this.

WILL YOU MARRY ME, PAT DARLING?

No! I will never marry that fool.

-When will he get it? -When you marry someone else.

Something wrong with my face?

-Can I have a moment of your time? -That's why I'm here.

Come.

Who are you?

The test driver from the Vandale garage.

Before taking a car like that on the road,

you need some advice.

Do you know who is offering me this car?

No, it was done by phone.

That gentleman calls often. Excuse me.

Please.

Antoine, I'm getting fed up with this.

I said no!

Don't be so final, Pat, my dear.

I love you. I want you to love me.

I'll force you if I have to.

It doesn't matter that you didn't like my gifts.

All women can be conquered one way or another.

Even the most reluctant ones.

This is nonsense.

Mario, get that animal out of here.

Get rid of that beast. Hello?

Pat, whatever you do, you can't discourage me.

I'm really stubborn.

Patricia! No, my fickle princess…

Impossible!

It has to end.

Do you make a lot of money?

-I only started two days ago. -And before that?

A bit of this and a bit of that, in different places.

Legal things?

As legal as the circumstances

or the people permitted.

-You're a cheater? -With pretty women, always.

Have I shocked you?

Shall we take a test drive?

No.

I'd like to make you an offer.

A reasonable one?

I'll pay you ten times what you make,

plus room, board, clothes, laundry

and an allowance.

And if it goes well, the car as a bonus.

Yes.

What do you think?

With a good lawyer, about 20 years. Who do I have to kill?

Antoine, the Bore.

How?

You should know. You gave me the idea.

I'll marry you.

It's…

-It's a joke? -Of course.

As soon as he gives up, you'll have your freedom.

Until then, everyone must believe we're married.

Will that be enough to discourage him?

If he keeps courting me, honey, I hope you'll beat him up.

What do you have against the poor guy?

He keeps insisting.

I don't like him. He disgusts me.

The millions he inherited from his uncle won't make me change my mind.

-Quite the opposite. -Also, because

you appear to have everything you need.

So, do you accept?

Don't you think this adventure is a bit too delicate?

Why? I'm not asking you to love me.

That's why it's so delicate.

I'll hire you as a husband, like I could hire you as a gardener or as a driver.

Yes, it happens all the time. Do you cook with butter here?

Yes or no, but don't waste my time.

-Do you entertain many guests? -You won't have to serve them.

You say that, but employers can take liberties.

Luckily, we have unions.

What's your name?

Simon Guilbaud. Will that do?

Patricia Guilbaud.

That'll do.

So much the better.

Could you help me, please?

With pleasure.

Excuse me, madam. The cook asks…

Excuse me.

Do that again and I'll kick you out.

Sorry, I meant well.

Our sudden union implies a love match.

-That requires strong emotions. -Yes…

-The minimum will do. -As you wish, boss.

-I'll introduce you to… -Your parents?

-No, to Charles, the butler. -Right.

My parents are away, they'll be back in a couple of days.

I hope they'll like me as much as my wife does.

Cook asks if the gentleman will stay for dinner.

Yes, and he'll eat and sleep here from now on.

-In which room? -Mine.

-Where should I move your room to? -Nowhere.

-The gentleman is my husband. -You're surprised, aren't you?

We're in love.

It would be awful for newlyweds to sleep apart.

Allow me to respectfully congratulate you both.

-Thank you, Charles! -Thank you, Charles!

Remove it before it makes a mess.

-See you later, darling. -What is this?

-Madam's rooster. -My wife's rooster?

No, sir.

Your wife's mother's rooster, sir.

My mother-in-law breeds chickens?

One chicken: Pouic-Pouic!

Sorry? Pouic?

Yes, sir, that's his name.

Why Pouic-Pouic?

No one knows, not even Madam.

Charles.

Is my mother-in-law a bit…?

You don't know your parents-in-law?

No. You're surprised?

No. I've worked in this house for many years, so…

That must be why you don't look so good.

Excuse me.

Pouic-Pouic, eh?

Hello? Yes, madam. Charles speaking.

Good morning. Are you well?

Yes!

It's very stuffy here. This heat tires me.

This city is killing me.

Tell me, why am I here?

Women can't go into the stock exchange, where my husband is.

It's agony. We'll be home tomorrow. Everything alright? Perfect.

Prepare a good dinner. It's my husband's birthday.

I'd like to offer him an original gift.

Do you have any idea?

A gift for my husband that would make him smile like a child?

Who's this cowboy?

Pedro Caselli, the man with the white hat. Be careful with him.

-He does have style. -So do most con men.

The market is slow today, isn't it?

Some advice, Caselli. Don't stay here.

You might be in trouble.

Morrison, I have the opportunity of a lifetime here.

I'm need money, so I'm offering it to you.

-Don't try it on me. -Listen, Morrison.

-I was just in South America. -Go back. It's the best thing for you.

Look at that, Morrison. What do you say?

Unbelievable.

-Are you selling? -You're joking?

Selling my steel when it's skyrocketing?

You're a funny guy. Look!

-You never know. -I know.

Now it's here, soon it will be there and then…

In the end, it will be here.

No, I won't sell when it's here or here.

-I'll sell when it's here. -You'll make a mint.

Yes, just about…

Not quite.

Listen to this. It's as beautiful as Mozart.

I'm telling you!

Listen. Come closer.

Don't look now. Who's that man to my right?

-Don't look! -What should I do, then?

-Look quickly! -It's Caselli.

You'd better avoid him.

-I'm coming. -Thank you.

Don't listen to the gossip. I have something that may interest you.

No, I'm interested in that.

-I'm into oil. -And I'm into steel stock.

Not oil?

No, steel. Now get lost.

You're making a mistake.

Boom!

Waiter!

A sandwich and a glass of cold Beaujolais.

I've suffered enough.

Jérôme, tell me if you want to eat something.

No, thank you. I'll wait.

I can't wait anymore.

Doesn't that stock exchange ever close?

Yes, madam, at 2:30 p.m.

Thanks, but I knew that.

Yes. One moment, please.

Simon!

Hurry up!

The bedclothes.

Hurry!

-Good morning. -Hush!

Hush.

Hurry.

One moment!

Yes.

Come on!

But…

Come in!

Good morning, madam. Good morning, sir.

Good morning, Charles.

-Did you sleep well? -What a stupid question.

I'm sorry, what was I thinking?

The tray's too small.

Do you mind coming a bit closer?

-Yes! -Everything will fall!

-Not at all. -No, my pet. Look.

It fits snugly, not an inch to spare.

-Did I forget something? -No, not a thing.

-Go on, Charles. -Don't disturb us until noon.

I get that you're an oaf.

-But don't be vulgar. -I said that because I'm still sleepy.

That damn rooster talks in his sleep.

He clucked all night.

Am I not your type?

-You have a certain charm. -So you've noticed.

-Unfortunately, something's missing. -Money.

Tact. Women love that.

-You don't even know me. -Please.

Where are you going?

To take a shower.

What are you a champion of, my love?

Clay-pigeon shooting.

-Ready? -Ready!

Pull!

I was also a hunting guide in Tanganyika.

You're so annoying, sir!

Why the formality? Are you angry?

Get dressed. They need to tidy the room.

As you wish, boss.

-Ready? -Ready.

Pull!

Home at last. The heat! Unbearable, isn't it, Léo?

The countryside's better.

You wouldn't have lasted a couple more days in Paris.

But my work is trivial, is it?

Please, I can't stand both your bad mood and the mercury going up.

Mercury is rising? It's time to buy!

-The phone! -Léo!

No, darling.

I meant the mercury in the thermometer rising because of the heat.

You're like a child.

Good morning, madam. Good morning, sir. Here is Madam's rooster.

My little Pouic-Pouic. Isn't he beautiful?

Say hello to Daddy. Pouic-Pouic, hello, Dad.

That's mean! Now he'll be in a bad mood for hours.

Did he behave himself while Mommy was away?

-He broke three cups when he crowed. -My little rascal!

This fell out of your bag, madam.

Thank you, Charles. This is my husband's birthday gift.

It's a secret. I said nothing.

-Peek-a-boo! -I'm not in the mood for this.

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Léo Happy birthday to you

She remembered.

-She did. -Cynthia, my sweet.

You're an exquisite little being, and sometimes I'm a little worked up…

-No, Léo, you're not. -Yes, I am.

In life, one just has to fight. You understand, my sweet?

I understand, my precious. Close your eyes.

Peek-a-boo!

-What is this? -A claim!

-For what? -An oil field.

Where?

Near the Orinoco, in South America.

In the territory of the Bosotajo Indians.

That's a good one!

The man who gave you this made fun of you.

He didn't give it to me. I bought it!

-From whom? -Aldo Caselli, I think.

That bastard from the stock exchange!

-You didn't pay him, did you? -Yes, in cash!

How much?

I didn't hear that.

It can't be true!

Yes, I talked the price down quite a bit.

I used my charm, Léo.

-Where did you get the money? -From your stockbroker.

Did you borrow it?

-No, I sold some shares. -Which ones?

-Steel. -No!

-Yes. -Not that! They were going up!

Call your stockbroker.

-He can't do that without my signature. I faked it.

It was quite hard, you know.

Now, you should buy some barrels for your oil.

Don't talk about oil barrels.

A piece of the inaccessible Orinoco, full of mosquitoes and headhunters.

That's what you bought. Do you want to ruin me?

Fine! If you're going to be like that, I'll sell it.

To whom? All the crazy people are locked up.

That claim is genuine.

What will I get from that jungle? Firewood?

Happy birthday, you old grouch!

Sir didn't like the gift?

You never know with him.

Yes!

What do you want?

Excuse me, I forgot to bring towels.

-Happy birthday. -Enough, my wife already said that.

-Do you know what she gave me? -No, sir.

-A rainforest. -Where will we put it?

Do you think that's funny?

I have to resell the claim and get my money back.

All is not lost. I have to find a chump.

Mr. Brévin has shown to be a good candidate for that.

Dear Antoine! Why didn't I think of that?

Bravo! I'll pay you double this month.

But there is a new development.

Give me number two in Chaume.

He's easily influenced, rich enough to make up for his stupidity

and he's crazy about Patricia. Perfect!

That's the thing, Miss Patricia…

Hello, Antoine. Léonard Monestier speaking.

Are you free this weekend?

We've been saved, Charles.

Don't ever get married.

It happens in the best of families. Sometimes very quickly.

Where is Miss Patricia?

Madam is in the park.

Why do you call Patricia "Madam"?

When a girl marries, one starts calling her Madam.

Are you sure you don't need a holiday?

Less than you, if I may be so bold.

I demand you explain yourself.

Miss Patricia got married, sir.

-What? -Married.

My wife bought a rainforest, fine.

But Patricia getting married is going too far.

-Yes. -Get Miss Patricia.

-Madam Patricia? -Get my daughter Patricia!

Very good, sir. Shall I get her husband too?

He is here?

-In Madam's room. -In my daughter's room?

They just got married, you know.

Let's count. One, two. Can you believe it?

Come out of there.

-What is it? -Come out or I'll kick the door in.

Sir, what's this about?

Sir, your daughter's husband. Sir, your wife's father.

My father-in-law. What a surprise! Simon Guilbaud.

One question: did you really get married to Patricia?

-Yes, I've been so lucky. -How much?

-For what? -To get a divorce!

-Impossible, dad-in-law. -Don't call me that!

-Granddad then? -Good grief! Are you telling me…

Not yet, but we're thinking about it.

I advise you to reconsider.

He didn't waste any time.

Disappear and don't come back until I tell you.

I told Patricia I'd stay. I keep my promises.

Be very careful!

I have to meet Antoine. That's why she hired me-- She married me.

If you're still here in five minutes, I'll kick you out.

1938, Île-de-France judo championship. Semi-finalist.

1955, French championship. Finalist.

-Good morning, sir. -Hello, Charles.

-You must have driven fast. -Is that a criticism?

Yes, we'd be inconsolable if you had an accident.

Really? Is my presence here that valuable?

Immensely, sir.

Please, take my things to my bedroom.

Very good, sir.

Dear Antoine, it's so good to see you!

Likewise, dear Léonard.

Am I early?

No, I'm late. One moment. Make yourself at home.

Patricia?

Pouic-Pouic, say hello to your sister.

-Patricia! -Mom!

Hello, my darling.

-Did you have a good trip? -Terrible.

Your dad didn't say a word and the driver slept the whole time.

-We got a letter from Paul. -How is my brother's trip?

He's still loving Brazil. How about you? Any news?

Yes, I have a surprise.

You remembered your father's birthday. Go and give him a kiss!

I'll walk this little monster. Goodbye! I mean, see you in a minute.

Patricia! I'm dazzled when I see your beauty.

-What are you doing here? -Your dad invited me for the weekend.

-But if that displeases you… -Don't get any ideas.

Shall we go for a splash before lunch?

Last time, your splashing cost me my swimsuit.

I hung on to you because I had a cramp.

-Not in your hands! -Come on…

Don't make me shoot a hole in your nice suit.

-Don't tease me, darling. -Don't call me darling.

You're the only one who has resisted me for so long.

-I'm sorry, I don't need your money. -You're smart.

You don't just go for looks, do you?

In that sense, you'd stand a chance.

I desire you. It's only natural, I'm just a man.

You hurt my feelings, Patricia.

You may be a male, but that's not enough, believe me.

Your suitcases are in your room.

Thank you, Charles.

I don't care how long it takes,

but you will marry me.

You're too late.

Explain yourself.

Why is it too late?

Someone makes that impossible.

No, I said you couldn't marry her yet,

but I'm not a monster.

-But… -No.

Dear Antoine, welcome. We don't see nearly enough of you.

-I must talk to you! -I said no marriage,

but not just with anyone. A marriage with someone of…

-Know what I mean? -Not really.

Dear Antoine, your room is ready for you.

Go unpack. It's just been repainted.

If you don't like it, we'll change it.

Léonard, what is the meaning of this?

I really wanted to show you. Nice, isn't it? Do you like it?

I like the color contrast.

It's in vogue.

-Where are you going? -To my hotel, to get some clothes.

Will you come back?

-Do you want me to? -Antoine is here.

We have to put an end to this.

And upset your poor father.

He only cares about money.

Did you tell him we were married?

Yes, but he wasn't happy.

But, deep down, I think your father really loves you.

Almost as much as I do.

Let go!

Now, I want you to get lost.

-And fast. -I'm going to the village. I'll be back.

I'll shoot you if you come back.

I dare you to.

You, come with me.

-Stop! Do you know who Simon is? -Yes.

-I don't care! -He's my husband!

Not Antoine!

Did you call me?

I said, "Antoine! he's waiting for you."

I'll hurry up.

And now…

-Come here. -Let go of me!

-Let go of me! -Stay here!

Sit down!

Com one, don't blackmail me.

Why did you marry behind our backs?

-Love at first sight! -We'll talk about that.

-For sure. -For this weekend,

you'll remain a single girl for Antoine.

-So he will court me again? -Not so much.

-So he'll be in a good mood. -What for?

So that he buys a jungle full of fool's oil

that a con man sold to your mother for a fortune.

If Antoine doesn't buy it, we'll be ruined.

-Mom's too much. -There's only one like her. I married her.

-You love her. -Come in!

Ready!

Dear Antoine, come in!

-Give us a moment, my daughter. -Don't chase her out.

Daddy wants to make you an offer. I'd accept if I were you.

Sit down, dear Antoine.

-Sorry. -Sit there.

But…

I have an exclusive claim…

I have an exclusive claim to a piece of land in South America,

near the source of the Orinoco river.

The Indian name is Bosotajo.

And?

Do you know what's in the ground there?

No, uranium?

What?

-Oil! -Not so loud!

How can I help you?

I'll hand it all over to you.

It's a huge killing, but you need a fortune.

It requires a smart entrepreneur who can act quickly.

In short, dear Antoine, someone like you.

A drink?

Is there really oil there?

Don't you trust me?

Léonard Monestier, father of Patricia?

Have you been there?

No, but I have my information.

A glass of wine?

But why the mystery?

-Isn't it your son? -My son?

He's been traveling for months

and his last letter came from South America.

-So what? -Enough mystery.

Admit that you sent him there to acquire those rights.

Wonderful! Such shrewdness!

I'd never have thought of that. That you made that connection…

-We have a deal! Whiskey? -No, wait.

We haven't known each other long and I don't even know the young man.

He'll have to talk to my experts.

Experts? Why not a water diviner?

I have to form an opinion of your son

and his judgment.

In that case, let's not talk about it anymore.

-But… -Let's forget about it!

Do you insist on talking to my son? That's your decision?

-Yes, when will he be back? -Excuse me.

-Simon, my son! -Come on!

You rascal! You look great.

The healthy jungle air! Antoine, meet my son, Simon.

He's just back from South America. Our oil expert.

-Antoine Brévin. -I've heard a lot about you.

From Patricia. Go say hello to your mother.

-Is Mom home? -Stay here. We'll be right back.

That's odd. He's not that tanned.

His sombrero keeps the sun off.

My job has changed, did I understand correctly?

Let's forget the past. I need you.

-You know my wife? -No, I've never met my mother-in-law.

-Please… -It's true.

You'll see she's an easy target for a con man.

Here's what I need from you.

Come on.

Come on!

-Cynthia! -Yes?

Pay attention to what I'm about to say.

-Yes, Léo. -Listen carefully.

-Do you see me? -Very well.

-Simon… -Guilbaud. How do you do?

How do you do? You have a nice new secretary.

-Come along, Pouic-Pouic. -Charming lady.

Cynthia!

No, this gentleman is Patricia's husband.

Alright, then.

Please…

Forget about that creature and listen to me.

Don't be rude. I know Patricia's not married, she would have told me.

Yes, she got married. From now on, her name is Patricia… Pichaut?

-No, Guilbaud. -Guilbaud!

Wonderful. I have to kiss you.

Patricia has good taste, doesn't she?

You're happy. A mother can sense these things.

-Of course. I'm being spoiled. -Oh, please!

I'm going to resell the Orinoco to Antoine.

But you said it was big con.

Yes. Simon will take Paul's place.

-In South America? -No, here.

Léo!

Simon is your son.

Then he should come by more often.

He knows there is oil there.

So I was right! And you're selling your oil?

-That's nonsense! -Can you take over? I can't anymore.

It's very simple, I'll explain it to you.

Léo likes to complicate things.

I just can't anymore…

Come in.

Are you moping?

Are you finished with Dad?

Are you interested in his deal?

I have to talk to your brother first.

Did he come back? -Yes, a minute ago.

Will you jump up for me one day?

He's useless but I love him.

Your father speaks highly of him.

I can't believe that. Charles, is my brother really home?

No… I mean, yes, but he's changed a bit since he left.

Explain.

Let's go over it again. Don't rush me.

So, in short, Simon's my son.

-There you go! -He's my big boy.

-There you go! -Wonderful!

He's so charming.

-No… -Léo!

Don't be jealous of your son.

-What a sweet mother-in-law. -Call her Mom.

-Sorry, Dad. -What?

Yes, you're right.

Patricia, Simon's back. Hug your sister. Hug your brother.

-Sis, you look lovely as always. -Stop it.

She hates to be kissed in the neck.

They're at it again! These two!

He kissed her! Listen!

-Aren't they a nice couple? -Beautiful children. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Let's discuss that transaction, please.

Yes, please.

You have to decide quickly.

If my dad hadn't insisted, I would sign tomorrow with Bruckenmeyer.

I like to do business fast, right, dad?

-Did you bring your checkbook? -Of course.

Perfect.

I'm impressed. Our oil is in good hands with him.

You said "our" oil. Bravo, well said!

-Sit down. -Excuse me.

Here.

There.

-How much do you want for it? -For you…

Saludos, amigos!

For God's sake! Paul!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm delighted to introduce the beauty of the Pampas.

The pearl of South America!

Palma Diamantino!

Hello, everyone! How did you like my entrance?

We've been practicing for three days. Hello, sister.

-Hi, Mom. -Paul, come here!

Two sons in one day! Wonderful!

Why did you say "two sons"?

-Let's hurry. -Yes, Dad.

-Because of your older brother. -Paul!

-Simon! -Say hello to Simon!

Hey, what the…?

Push!

Our sons are such rascals, aren't they?

Especially the second one.

I want to learn French culture. I love France.

Los franceses son verdaderamente maravillosos!

-I wanted to surprise you. -You certainly did that!

Send that chick back to her red-light district.

-Palma's not a chick. -What is she?

She's the daughter of a… General.

-Did you meet her at a barracks? -No.

-Where, then? -In Venezuela.

In Caracas.

-The capital. -In a nightclub.

-Or in a brothel! -Come on…

If you can't play your role, leave.

Don't be selfish, dear. Dad needs me.

So do I. I now have a brother instead of a husband.

-That won't solve my problem. -Both are lies…

Where does that leave me? How do we pretend to love each other

if you allow Antoine to court me?

The situation is serious. We need some family spirit.

-Get lost! -Don't use that tone with me.

I'm the older brother, don't forget.

You're a loser!

I've slapped people for less.

We're setting two extra plates at the table. Antoine!

What a lovely weekend we're having!

Sit down.

-My dear. -Yes?

-One thing surprises me. -Only one?

How reasonable of you.

I didn't know you had two sons.

Yes, we don't tell you everything.

They made the same journey, but everybody mentioned only one of them.

But we love them both equally.

I invent this story about my son and then you arrive!

Luckily, I have the other one.

One of you is a loser, and it happens to be my son!

Sit down. I need you to tell me about South America.

-Go on! -It was a quick trip.

-Brazil? -I don't care.

-Rio, the bay… -I don't care.

-Sugarloaf Mountain. -I don't care!

Tell me about the Orinoco.

The Orinoco.

Antoine, don't you want to buy our claim?

I have to think about it.

Don't buy it. I want Léo to keep it.

-Really? -I don't care about the oil.

We can keep the land and build a holiday home there.

That's an idea.

Who's the handsome young man who pushed Paulo into the pool?

That's Simon, his older brother. A remarkable boy.

-He never told me about him! -How strange!

A little sibling rivalry.

I see! Paulo said he's in charge here.

That his father involves him in everything.

No, Paul is still a big kid, but Simon is successful.

-He's a born businessman. -I understand.

Simon is in charge and Paulo is the underling.

I'll go for a run before lunch.

Come along, I'll show you your room.

The bed is big.

If it's too big, I'll be cold.

There's an electric hot-water bottle in the closet.

At first, it gives a little shock, but after a while, it tickles.

Back home, we'd never tell a lady to take a bottle to bed.

-It's an insult. -How curious.

With us, it's normal. Right, Léo?

-Where is Antoine? -He went to get some air.

Of course, you're smothering him.

Where is Antoine?

Help me!

Help!

What is it?

That's Antoine. Come on, everybody!

-Come down! Come on! -No, wait!

Help!

Help me!

Léo! Cynthia!

Hey!

Help me!

Hurry!

Léonard!

Come! Patricia!

Give me your hand.

-Your hand. -Wait.

Come on.

Your suit is ruined.

-Poor Antoine. -It's nothing.

Easy for you to say, "It's nothing."

-You can throw that suit away. -Let go of me!

I'm not a little girl.

A stupid mistake.

A tree root. So stupid.

-Leave me alone! -Rub him.

Take him!

You, come to my study.

It's time for cocktails. When Antoine comes down, we'll do it.

-I have a scheme. -Yes, your rainforest map.

No, a strategic plan! It can't go wrong.

Where is Paul? Here he is.

Paul pretends to be arguing with Simon.

-Why? -Furious to have been cut out

of this deal by his brother, who only discussed it with me.

-So I really lay into him? -Yes.

-Is everything clear? -Sure.

Simon will shut him up.

Vigorously. He's a real leader, a man's man.

He'll reply to Antoine, taking no unnecessary risks.

Real travelers don't usually talk much.

Don't start talking nonsense, though.

-But Paul can provide details. -Other than Rio, I…

Wait. Patricia will use her charms.

She'll make him drowsy and prepare him for the operation.

If there's a problem, she'll give him a sultry look.

Like this, dear Daddy?

Don't go too far with the sultry look. She's my wife.

Keep business and feelings separate.

Léonard… Léonard, that's me.

-Good. Where is your mother? -Upstairs, with the Brazilian girl.

Perfect, we have time. We'll wait for the enemy in the lounge.

Various drinks, light music.

-Any questions? -No!

-Go! -Aye-aye, sir!

There he is! Dear friend, you're feeling better, I trust?

I think today is full of nasty surprises for me.

I was almost electrocuted in the shower.

You have to be careful!

You're so nice.

We wanted to have a cocktail, but Patricia insisted on waiting for you.

-Am I right, boys? -That's what she said!

-Really? -Come here.

Naughty man, you gave us a fright.

What would you like to drink?

A glass of our special Monestier whiskey?

-Don't overdo it. -Let's not overdo it.

Cocktails go bad quickly in this heat.

A drop of scotch on the rocks. No water.

You've had enough of it. You were so funny in the water.

Please ignore that imbecile. So…

Whiskey. What will you have, Dad?

-A stroke if you don't stop! -I'll go.

No, stay here!

-What was I saying? -You said…

"Please ignore that imbecile."

-Daddy, you said, "So…" -That's right. "So…"

-So… -Over here.

-What? -Over here.

So, Paul and Simon came back from South America.

-While Paul was resting-- -In Rio de Janeiro.

Simon, always active and efficient…

I'm embarrassed, Dad.

…went to an undiscovered area

full of fabulous treasures.

He discovered you know what,

you know where.

And didn't tell anyone.

What is this? Why am I only hearing about this now?

Treating me like a leper? I really hate this.

Shut up! No whiskey, I told you!

And I don't like to repeat myself.

Drink.

Your eldest has a strong personality.

He's a leader. The Indians called him…

They called him…

How should I know, I was in Rio.

They called me Yamatoketo.

What does that mean?

"Lightning." Literally, "fire from heaven."

Coming from those savages, it's a fine recommendation.

And those people don't know that under the ground,

there are millions of hectoliters of oil.

-So it's oil! -Don't yell like that.

If it leaks, the market collapses.

I didn't know that.

In Rio, we know. And we have

the only claim for the area where the oil is.

Here it is.

So beautiful!

Very beautiful primitive art, isn't it, Antoine?

I was expecting a title deed, something a bit more…

Official, with signatures and stamps?

-Yes. -What do you think?

That I found the oil at the Place de l'Opéra?

It really doesn't matter.

-Bruckenmeyer will be less… -No, Simon!

Antoine frowned. It means he is very interested.

Of course! Millions of hectoliters of oil.

But where is it exactly?

-It's… -Between Venezuela and Colombia.

The area belongs to… the Indians.

-The Bosotajo. -Bosotajo?

Did you go there on your own?

-You weren't…? -No, I was in Rio.

At first, I had a guide.

But he died.

-He was eaten by a boa. -Poor man. Such a terrible end.

-Horrible. -But,

there are natural resources.

Millions of hectoliters of oil.

-How will the Indians receive us? -With respect.

I saved the chief's life, Bambo.

That's why he gave me this claim.

To thank me. He's a terrible man.

-Cannibal? -Vegetarian.

But during partial solar eclipses, he'll eat an occasional young virgin.

Stop. You'll give me nightmares.

No, come on…

Lunch is served, sir.

One moment. You're lucky my assets are tied up elsewhere.

I'm letting you have this deal at rock-bottom prices.

-Yes or no? -Accept or refuse, it doesn't matter.

But I like men who take quick decisions.

Alright.

How much do you want for it?

You can have it for…

Es la caramba, amigos! La caramba!

What's wrong, pumpkin?

Simon ran off with Palma and you don't care?

-Not in the slightest. -Isn't he your husband?

Yes and no.

That crazy professor with strange hair. That's funny.

Charles, is Mr. Brévin still on the phone?

Yes, sir.

That's going to cost a lot, isn't it?

Especially if he asks his business representative for advice.

He'll know it's a scam. There's only one thing to do. Get the gun.

Boom!

-Shooting Antoine won't solve anything. -I wasn't thinking about him.

No, I don't want to call Rome.

I want number 62 in Ajaccio.

Are you doing this on purpose?

-How about cutting the line? -He would notice.

Can't you do something?

I already have. I know the operator.

He'll never get through to the hometown of Napoleon.

-No! -Lulu will do anything for me.

You're a genius. I'm doubling your wages.

-You already did that. -I'll do it again!

Thank you. I'll be able to take out a mortgage.

I they are very favorable right now.

He's so smart. I could kiss him.

Our butler? Come on.

I kiss less useful people here every day.

Supposing you're right and that I love Simon.

I hope you do. Why else would you marry him?

-I can get a quick divorce. -To marry Antoine?

-That would be fun. -Why not?

After all, he's quite nice.

Because you don't love him!

-You never will. -Exactly, it's about security.

That's not pride anymore. That's stupidity.

You'll ruin everything.

This can't go on. I really care for Palma, understand?

A lot!

Dad, I've had it!

I want my fiancée back right now.

"My fiancée!" Don't say words I can't comprehend.

-But I like her. -Your mistress, then.

Not yet.

Then you're a loser.

I could tell her Simon is Patricia's husband.

So she can tell Antoine? If you do that, I'll disown you.

I'll see how he's doing with Lulu.

Nice! She's walking int he park with Simon and no one cares.

Mutual trust is the secret for happiness, Paul.

Mutual trust? Don't make me laugh.

With the part you gave him, he's in charge and I look like a fool.

Silly, you're my favorite son.

Are you back already?

We thought you'd gone camping.

Did the night mist interfere with your romantic plan?

Simon taught me to row.

Palmita was very conscientious.

Rowing in a dress like that?

Por qué? Don't you like it?

When you bend over, I'm ashamed of your cleavage.

When you were rowing, you were bending over all the time.

-With him facing you. -Little brother, that's unfair.

-We're family, aren't we? -I don't buy that.

Me neither.

Paulo, you never mentioned your brother.

-It was a surprise. -Because you're the underling.

He's in charge here.

-Soy tu esclava sometida. -My slave? You're embarrassing me.

You're his inferior, I tell you!

Stop it! His inferior?

To hear that in the house I was born in. That's going too far!

I think I'm in love with your brother.

She doesn't know what she's saying.

Perfect!

Do you need someone to serenade you?

I brought my guitar. It's very practical.

I knew someone who strangled his wife with the G string.

-Mom? -Yes?

I feel like eating crepes. Would you make some?

-And now she's hungry… -Great idea!

They'll be delicious. Let's throw some in the air.

It might do us good. Are you coming?

I'm coming.

Hello? Ajaccio?

About time!

Hello? Imperial Hotel? Can I speak to Mr. Blandot?

Mr. Blandot!

That's not the Imperial Hotel?

The customs office?

I didn't ask for the customs office!

I asked for number 62 in Ajaccio!

Not 12!

Kiss me.Besame, Bolívar.

-Why Bolívar? -Your name's Simon, just like Bolívar.

Funny. Are you from Venezuela?

Si, Bolívar! Sabes que estoy loca por ti, querido?

Poor Paul. What a sad homecoming for him.

It means I'm crazy about you.

That's certainly very nice, but…

Are you embarrassed for Paulo?

You don't look the type to be embarrassed.

Put on another dress. The nights can get chilly here.

Yes, I have a dress that will make you go crazy.

You also have to write to your mother. She must be worried.

Shall I give her your love?

If she has your temperament, you'd better not.

-You're so naughty, Bolívar. -Yes…

Your brother is like a revolution!

I only taught her how to row.

Anyway, it really doesn't matter.

It's not easy to play a husband, a brother

and an explorer. I'm doing my best.

Hello? Who?

What? But…

Melbourne? But… This is too much!

Do you know where they put me through to? Melbourne!

Is it really that important?

Yes, Blandot is a real professional.

-And you're not? -Yes, but…

Two heads think better than one.

Money, business…

That's all we talk about in this house.

Men are so disappointing.

Don't generalize.

Do you still have your yacht?

Your cabin awaits.

Can we sail tomorrow?

Just the two of us?

Alright?

Do you even need to ask?

You've finally seen the light.

I didn't think it could happen so quickly.

It always happens. Didn't I tell you?

He's sarcastic and irritating. He treats me like a little girl.

He takes everything for granted.

Yet you can't hate him.

Why are these terrible men always so seductive?

-It's high time I do something. -It's too late now, my dear.

So that's how you see me?

I'm a tough guy.

What's this ruckus?

-I'm listening to a record. -Scram, kid.

-Sorry? -Go and singLa Traviataoutside

and say three prayers before bedtime.

What's wrong with him?

Any takers for the first batch?

Delicious!

It's hot, isn't it?

-Do you dance? -If I'm asked nicely.

Cynthia, what's the matter with you? Paul, turn that off!

Léo, it was such a nice beat.

A little too nice.

You don't know what you're talking about, the beat was ideal.

-You try. -Paul, the music.

That's terrible, old boy.

Patricia convinced me.

I like challenges.

I'll buy your claim.

Millions of hectoliters.

Charles, bring a bottle and two glasses to my study.

Everything's ready, a coincidence.

In my office.

Was that so bad, you beanpole?

-Finally! Let's celebrate. -Thanks to who?

Antoine dances with me, eats my crepes andvoilà!

-Let's make some more. -With jam.

Is it all solved with Antoine?

Wonderfully.

Pat, listen to me.

You can go. I'm leaving with Antoine tomorrow.

I have to go through here to get to the office.

An architect's folly.

We have to get our drilling equipment.

-Yes. -This jungle is dense.

Some branches. A vine here and there.

Yes!

Charles, put it here and open it quickly.

Quickly? It's an old cork, sir.

You wouldn't want us to open a bottle of this year's champagne!

So I've been fired, is that correct?

-Exactly. -Too bad.

I was enjoying your chaotic contradictions.

Tomorrow, you'll be far.

What happens to me won't matter to you anymore.

Don't forget that I'm responsible.

Admit it, you went into Antoine's arms

to avoid mine.

That's a shame, because I've started to really like you.

The cork's stuck. I'll get pliers.

-That's so interesting. -I'll keep you posted.

Yes, please.

You're right. I'd better go.

I've known many women, but I've never kept any of them.

I wanted to protect them from disaster.

I won't go unless you promise me not to do anything stupid with Antoine.

-It was next to the brushes. -Is this going to take long?

That depends on the cork.

Thanks to you, I now know that marrying for love is not for me.

You've been useful.

Get over your silly pride.

It's not my only flaw.

I have many.

You're obsessed with cultivating them, I must say.

Enough with the X-rays. Unbelievable.

I hardly know you. I don't know anything about you.

You know I'm not your brother nor your husband.

You know more than the others.

The cork is crumbling. We need a corkscrew.

-You're irritating, Charles. -I'm not one to give up.

Poor guy, he's quite unlucky.

When do I leave? Right away?

No one will understand. Wait until dad has the check.

Now that you mention it, don't forget mine.

You've got guts.

No!

Antoine will disappear from your life, believe me.

You're a little late with this.

It's never too late when you have the ace.

What do you think of my dress?

Do you see what I see?

I even see what you think.

-Not in front of my wife! -No, Simon!

Darling, it's time we explained it to her.

Why are you pulling my leg?

Your sister's cute, but she wouldn't make a gaucho miss his siesta.

What? Who does she think she is?

I'll teach you to go after my husband!

-Stop! -The corkscrew, sorry. What is it?

-Eavesdropping? -Corkscrew!

Dear Simon, I need you once more.

-Yes? -Antoine is about to sign.

-So it's working. -It's great!

But he wants to know some details.

-I don't know the Orinoco. -Me neither.

Makes two of us. What's going on?

A small catfight.

No seas loca! Perdoname!

-But I liked your husband! -What?

I mean, what's all this arrangement about?

-Por qué? -Don't tell Antoine!

Or I'll beat you up.

I'll be a conspirator too, pero por qué?

My father is doing business with Antoine.

Antoine is in love with me. He mustn't find out that I'm married.

A lot of money is at stake.

-A lot? -Sí.

Well then, he's the big boss here.

Good.

-Take my chair. -Yes, sorry.

How much oil do you think there is?

In total? I can't say down to the liter.

There may be surprises.

Millions of hectoliters.

Yes, millions. Anyway, you have to be a gambler.

It's my kind of deal, quite modest.

-Let's drink to it, Léonard. -Give me that.

Give it to me, you're done.

It shouldn't be hard!

Bad luck!

-What's happening? -I don't know.

-Antoine! -My eyes! It stings!

-Sir, you shouldn't have… -It's your fault!

Stop it! Get a towel!

-Who fired a shot? -Nobody!

-It was only champagne. -That's easy for you to say.

-Luckily, it doesn't stain. -Isn't that great?

It's better than a broken leg.

-Don't make things worse! -Pobre Antonio!

-Palma will take care of you! -No, please!

He's suffering, he needs a woman.

-It stings! -No, honey!

Come, I have an amazing blow-drier in my room.

Mi corazón, mi chiquito…

You all stay there, like a herd of dumb cows!

Pobre pequeño, pobre chiquito mío.

-Lean on me. -Yes.

Don't be ashamed.

Abandoning a wounded man. You should be ashamed!

Here is the towel!

Where is he?

She's very helpful, isn't she?

-Cynthia, something's burning. -Yes.

No! That's my second batch.

-Patricia? Yes?

The blow-drier could be dangerous.

Go and rescue Antoine, quickly.

-No. -Quickly now.

My husband isn't doing this anymore.

I'm sick of him chasing after my wife.

Others did the same with their friends' wives.

I won't mention names. Follow my gaze.

-I'm going to bed. Are you coming? -I'm coming.

Goodnight, Dad. Don't worry, all is not lost yet. You pessimist!

Everything works out for everyone, except me.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm always alone.

Just when he was ready to sign.

I could have sold him the Obelisk.

In my office!

It wasn't so smart to tell Palma everything.

It worked out fine for you.

-But bad for Dad. -Who knows?

No? Okay.

-Good night. -Good night.

-By the way… -Yes?

Let's make it official soon. I'm developing rheumatism.

-Whatever. -What?

The check is made out. We only need his signature.

Do what it takes, but bring Antoine here without delay.

-No need to rush things. -Seriously?

Palma and I were arguing about Simon. She's getting back at me with Antoine.

It's not serious between them. I know her.

The daughter of a general from a good family…

Get out! I've seen enough of you! You too!

Pay the bearer of this check the sum of…

Charles!

-The situation is critical. -Yes, sir.

Antoine won't sign if Dad keeps changing his mind.

A rainforest is a delicate matter.

There is a way…

Tell me!

If you would like to follow me…

I can't believe it, she can't do that again.

Come here, my little baby.

Come on, little chook.

Go for a walk in the countryside.

You can stay out until midnight.

Here.

How sweet of you.

Don't get a cold on top of your rheumatism.

You could have brought an umbrella. I think it's going to rain.

What are they doing?

What is it?

Lucky they didn't see me sleeping here. They would talk.

Come on.

A DIY job?

No. A little short-circuit.

It'll be fixed in no time. Don't worry, everything will be fine.

-Are you good with electricity? -No, I'll make do.

Fetch Antoine, let's play bridge. He's with Palma.

-Do you think he'd prefer bridge? -Convince him.

What would you do without me?

What are you up to?

I have orders to get the check signed by Antoine.

Then I'll win Palma back.

Because of my services, Dad won't object.

-You're really that crazy about her? -Yes, for personal reasons.

Hard to explain, even to my sister. Especially to my sister.

Life's not just what you do at night.

No, but you can get up late.

Fetch Dad. I'll get the table and the cards.

I see you're feeling better.

Yes, with a nurse like you.

Tonio, behave.

-Who is it? -Bolívar!

Come in.

Antoine, they're waiting for you to play bridge.

-No, I'd rather not. Thank you. -That's what I thought.

Paul will be very disappointed. You owe him that.

Bridge at this hour? Are you mad?

Yes, you'll see.

-Excellent idea. -Who wants crepes?

Burned, uncooked. Everything.

-Who'll be the 4th player? -Palmita.

No, I'm the inspiration.

-Patricia. -No, I hate that game.

I'll play!

Mom, you play?

Ace is high, right?

Dear Lord…

Mom, you play with me.

We're saved! Antoine, we're playing together.

-Go, poor fellow. -Cut.

Why do you say that? I'm sure Mom can hold her own.

Charles, it's almost time. Any questions?

It was my idea. Do you have any questions?

-I'm worried. -It'll be fine, little one.

Synchronize watches.

Lots of red for me. Black's so sad.

Six spades is fine too.

If you keep your diamonds, you'll always score.

Did we mention we're not playing belote?

I really don't know what you're doing.

Patience…

Quiet, Paul!

Some background music.

It doesn't bother us.

I pass.

-We believe you. -No, I said "pass."

-Now you have to say something. -Me? If you could see my cards!

Don't comment! Well?

I say… hearts.

You're asking for hearts. How many?

How many can I ask for?

Seven, but that's a lot.

Don't influence her, Dad.

You're out of luck. Seven hearts!

-Double! -Pass?

What am I still doing here?

I'm doubling again. Might as well be daring!

This is madness!

Who knows?

Bridge is a scientific game. Luck has little to do with it.

But when you know how to use it…

They're going down. Ace of spades!

-Do you have spades? -Some.

As long as you have some. I don't.

-Are you sure? -Don't you believe me?

-Trump it, then? -Don't rush me.

If you don't want to trump, discard.

I should do what?

Play something else. Don't you have clubs?

No clubs.

You have no clubs and no spades?

No!

Please tell me you have a low diamond.

I'm sorry. I only have hearts. Look!

How did you do that?

That's an exceptional hand.

Isn't it? You try to do the same.

-And now the news. -Turn it down!

There's a football game on.

One minute. Quiet.

A plane made an emergency landing in Northern Ireland.

All the passengers are safe.

-I'm not afraid of flying. -Venezuela.

Listen!

Venezuela!

Enough! Turn it off!

Venezuela!

We've just learned

in a newsflash

that an oil reserve has been found

near the source of the Orinoco river.

-The Orinoco? -Listen!

-This huge reserve… -Louder!

…is located on the land of the Indian tribe

Bosotajo.

That's our claim!

Our oil! Come to my arms, Cynthia.

What do you say, Antoine?

I'll buy it. I was already going to.

Get lost!

Did you think I'd give this to you as a present?

You've partied enough here. Furthermore, my daughter's married.

My daughter! Too late!

Calm down.

You're not being yourself.

-Let me explain! -Shut up!

He dances with my wife, courts my daughter and runs up my phone bill!

How incredibly rude. Nouveau riche!

You poor people!

We're richer than he is. Pompous imbecile!

Pablo querido!

You imp, luring respectable women into your room!

Pouic-Pouic, come here, you bloody rooster.

What is this?

I can hear Pouis-Pouic on the radio.

He escaped from his coop.

-What is this? -He ran between my legs.

-So? -I forgot…

To turn off the microphone.

Not a bad trick, but you should have warned us.

That was you on the radio?

-That was you on the radio? -Yes.

Antoine, my good friend!

Come back! I'm ruined. I'm dead!

-Come on. -Allow me.

-Charles, get some aspirin. -Antoine!

Okay, I resign.

Stabbed in the back by my own son.

-It'll be all right. -Attacked with cowardice.

-It's useless. -What a great idea you had!

He believed it. But you were so rude to him!

You made fun of me!MadredeDíos!

Tonio querido, Tonio!

One moment,señorita!

Paul!

Say goodbye to her, she's not worth it.

That's right, leave. You can keep the clothes.

I have a blonde in mind with a different figure.

I really fought for us, Palma Diamantino!

Come here.

-I want to see Tonio. -Later.

-What is this? -Quiet.

Sit down.

So you were in Rio with Paul?

Paulo again?

Why do you call him Paulo?

-Paulo means Paul. -In Portuguese.

You're from Venezuela. You speak Spanish.

In Spanish, his name is Pablo. First mistake.

I prefer Paulo, so what?

So what? You like Rio?

Are you a cop?

What color pith helmet do you wear?

I had several.

No one wears them. Second mistake.

RÉGINE MERCIER - PARIS

Is that yours?

RÉGINE MERCIER "PALMA DIAMANTINO"

Régine Mercier, Palma Diamantino!

NOW APPEARING AT THE PERROQUET VERT

Now at the Perroquet Vert, in Place Pigalle.

Third mistake.

Is Palma Diamantino your stage name?

Did you lose your tongue, Régine?

-It's clear, isn't it? -Yes.

For someone who's never been to South America, you're doing a good job.

You met Paul in a nightclub in Montmartre, didn't you?

Paul only knows Brazil from the Place Pigalle.

-So what? -Nothing.

It's simple. I'll make you a proposition.

Antoine has too much money.

You prefer wearing mink to rabbit.

You can leave with him, under one condition.

You make him sign Mr. Monestier's check.

And I'll forget Régine Mercier. Agreed?

Agreed.

-How's Dad? -Fine. He'll outlive us all.

-Good night. -Whatever.

-Muchas gracias, Bolívar. -You're welcome, Palma Diamantino.

-He's asleep. -Well done.

This caused all our problems.

Let's burn the damn thing!

No, I'll take care of it.

-Good night. -Good night.

You room is that way.

I'm going for some air.

Tonio!

Tonio?

Tonio?

Hey, you.

No, come on.

Alright, then.

Ready?

Just what we needed.

This house. This family.

Look at that!

Good job.

Good luck,señorita.

Adiós!

What's going on here? So much activity.

Is this a train station?

Charles, what's going on? I called you three times.

Didn't you notice my suit?

Yes! There's something wrong here.

Nothing serious. You can have it altered.

I've come to say goodbye. I've just resigned.

Please, Charles, don't be silly.

Your life away from here would seem very boring.

But much more restful.

Pull!

Well done.

How did you do that?

It doesn't matter. Give it to your father.

I think my work here is done.

Goodbye, Patricia.

Where will you go?

-I'm going to sleep in a real bed. -With who?

Alone.

So selfish.

And now, Europe Flash.

Breaking news:

a huge oil field has been found in the Venezuelan jungle.

Again? In my own room, on my own radio!

I won't accept it!

Go back to bed!

-Are you done with the radio? -What radio?

That's enough ruckus!

Shut up! Listen to me!

I'll tie a rock around both your necks…

I've resigned.

I'll still throw you in the swimming pool.

-Go to bed. -I will if…

…the oil field of the Bosotajo Indians is one of the richest in the world.

This is confirmed by all news reports.

It's not a trick.

We're multimillionaires! Millions of hectoliters!

Come on!

Poor Antoine!

Where's my claim?

The thing is… Tell him, Simon.

My claim!

-Shit. -My claim!

-Holy Mother of God. -Where is my claim?

Unbelievable!

My claim…

My claim!

It's been sold.

To Mr. Antoine Brévin.

So they weren't married yet?

No, but, you know…

Luckily, I thought of her dowry.

-I bought something. -No!

-Yes! -No!

Smile!

THE END