All language subtitles for Rick.and.morty.S09E02.AMZN.WEB-DL.720p-Kitsune.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:21,999
There he is.
2
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,835
Knew I'd get a handsome man in here
if I waited around long enough.
3
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,670
Had to patch a tire
out on County Line.
4
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,754
Too good for a tow?
5
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:28,922
Too impatient.
6
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,633
You city folk. Always in a hurry.
7
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,510
By God, look who it is!
8
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,178
- He's back!
- Hey!
9
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,263
Welcome back, brother!
10
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,808
Don't know why I ever leave.
A place to bowl, a place to fish.
11
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,810
And a beer to hold doing it!
12
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,439
Best friends!
13
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,607
We love you, Ted!
14
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,400
Ted!
15
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,726
You still selling PVC?
16
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,977
How's-how's business down there?
17
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,687
Good enough to get me back up here.
18
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:26,772
Think you could put in a word?
19
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,690
Son, you don't wanna sell pipe.
20
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,025
He just wants to lay some.
21
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,654
Good to have you back, brother.
22
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,822
Split a sixer?
23
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,035
Marjorie's keeping the place
open late now?
24
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,454
Yeah. Her mother passed
a few months back.
25
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,830
Don't think she wants to go home.
26
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,041
Everybody's runnin' from something.
27
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,673
How's Luisa?
She still kick you out of bed
28
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,383
- when you drink?
- Yep.
29
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,759
Might as well keep drinking.
30
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,846
Open the register
and gimme your wallet!
31
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:03,809
No, no, no.
32
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,111
- Teddy?
- Hello. There's a robbery.
33
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,154
I think this guy's having
a heart attack.
34
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,073
Ted, where you going?
35
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,866
Hey! The cops are coming.
36
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,535
Ted! Teddy!
37
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,412
This guy's dying in here!
38
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,433
- Alright, well, shit.
- What the hell? What the hell?!
39
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,893
Looks like you learned
some things about your body.
40
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,520
I'll make this simple, Ted.
41
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,106
You're not a PVC salesman
from two states south.
42
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,691
You're the smartest man
who's ever lived,
43
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,818
and you were born
400 light-years away.
44
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,319
You're on Beloi-6E.
45
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,238
It's a primitive planet
with good country music
46
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,241
and a shit-ton of snow,
real early '90s Earth vibes.
47
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,784
They're 100 years from first contact,
48
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,203
so they don't know who I am,
who you are.
49
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,538
Which is the whole point.
50
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,540
You think it's fun to be a god, Ted?
51
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,084
You think God's nipples get hard
when he murders a fish?
52
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,377
Th-That's why every summer
53
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,045
I take two weeks off and come here.
54
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,631
I wipe my brain and pull all
but my survival tech.
55
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,053
I go home with the peace
of mind stupid people get
56
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,847
from watching Kevin Costner movies.
57
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,892
So, look, if you're seeing this
because shit's gone sideways,
58
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,477
hit the red button to be me again.
59
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,228
If everything's cool,
hit the blue button
60
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,606
to clear this from your memory
and enjoy the rest of your trip.
61
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,191
Okay, Morty, that's a wrap on
62
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,776
"If you've been
messing with my tech."
63
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,903
Let's run the Taken
scenarios.
64
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,922
You here about the dishwasher job?
65
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,591
Shit, you're a popsicle.
66
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,515
You know me, right?
67
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,684
I'd sure like to think so.
68
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,269
I mean it. How could you?
69
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,897
I'm just some guy
who shows up every year.
70
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,107
Well, something keeps you
coming back here.
71
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,027
Lay back. I got a surprise for you.
72
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,531
Got this set up
since your last visit.
73
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,951
It's nice.
74
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,370
Haven't really found occasion
to use it.
75
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,704
Thanks for giving me one.
76
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,540
I don't mind the company.
77
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,168
You still have
that spare room in back?
78
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,003
I don't want to sleep in the RV.
79
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,976
Don't go.
80
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,811
I'm not gonna.
81
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,240
Okay, obviously,
you're seeing this hologram
82
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,325
because you ignored the
instructions from the last one.
83
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,411
If you're seeing this hologram,
you decided to ignore the hologram.
84
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,954
It'd mean you went pretty rogue.
85
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,581
So just a gentle reminder,
86
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,041
you're not a real person, you're me.
87
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,085
You're permanently fucking up
your vacation spot,
88
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,837
which hurts you more
than it hurts me.
89
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,215
Though, in all honesty, we're both
getting hurt pretty severely…
90
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,306
Ted, one of these days,
you gotta come up in July.
91
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,684
I caught a muskie last summer
came about up to my neck.
92
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,603
- Stop lying to the man.
- No fish in this lake.
93
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730
Actually, thought
I might stick around this year.
94
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,440
- See the thaw.
- For real, Teddy?
95
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,941
You're gonna… You're gonna stay?
96
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,234
What about your company?
97
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,736
Doesn't seem real.
98
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,656
It's like I've been pretending
I go somewhere when I leave,
99
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,451
but I think I only exist
when I'm here.
100
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,662
Like this is literally
the only place I'm actually alive.
101
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,207
Does that… make sense?
102
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,126
Good thing nobody's driving tonight.
103
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,006
Hey!
104
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,779
Fuck me.
105
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,823
- Hello? Rick? Rick!
- Who is this?
106
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,367
I'm really gonna
get in trouble for this.
107
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,035
How are you calling my leg?
108
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,370
I'm not supposed to ever
use the leg phone,
109
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,330
but I-I just need you
to get in the egg.
110
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,375
Don't pick a fight
with yourself, okay?
111
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,502
I just want to get you home
before anything worse happens.
112
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,088
Nothing's worse
than finding out I'm some character
113
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,590
that asshole plays,
some costume he puts on to…
114
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,550
He doesn't need you alive
to bring you home.
115
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,636
It's not my home! I'm not him!
116
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,972
You are. I mean, I agree with you.
117
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,557
He can be kind of a dick,
but y'know, this…
118
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,976
this is just how it is.
119
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,645
No! Help! Help!
120
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,522
And if you could just hang up
the leg phone?
121
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,856
I'll just…
I'll never hear the end of it
122
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,149
if the leg phone gets lost.
123
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,610
Hello? Hello?
124
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,114
Ted!
125
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,116
Ted, are you okay?
126
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,577
- Thank you.
- What is this thing, Ted?
127
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,705
I'm not who you think I am.
128
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,499
Is this your ship from space?
129
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,042
Your spaceship?
130
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,293
It's his.
131
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,504
He's non-vacation me.
132
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,715
I don't know him.
And I don't want to.
133
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,258
But this asshole's coming for me
134
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,468
and I don't intend to let him win.
135
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,303
For the love of Pete.
136
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,180
Do you understand what you're asking?
137
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,391
I wouldn't ask at all
if there were any other way.
138
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,062
Janice, Mary, I gotta send you home.
139
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,230
We're closing early.
140
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,942
- Come on!
- We're only three frames in!
141
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:48,862
Thank you.
142
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,240
Nobody gonna take me seriously.
143
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,992
Janice's gonna have her word…
144
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,661
Promise me you won't
come back here tonight.
145
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,455
Always were dramatic.
146
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,539
Promise.
147
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,960
I just…
Don't die in my bowling alley.
148
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,628
You hear me?
149
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,594
Holy hell.
150
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,805
- How's it going out there, Bowser?
- All good.
151
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,726
Sprinklers, Antonio?
152
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,394
Working on it. Little Mike?
153
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,649
Okay, Big Mike.
154
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,086
Now!
155
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,389
We need those sprinklers, Antonio!
156
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,934
It's not working.
157
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,394
- There's too many!
- Fry 'em!
158
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,442
Mike!
159
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,488
Follow me, ya drone bastards!
160
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,828
Teddy, drop!
161
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,753
- Yes!
- Come on! Rack' em up!
162
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:29,838
Time for a beer!
163
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:32,257
Fuck you, you self-centered prick!
164
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,384
Who's not a real person now, huh?
165
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,180
Marjorie!
166
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,182
Why'd you come back?
167
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,268
I told you not to come back.
168
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,936
You know me.
169
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,147
I'm a stubborn old bitch.
170
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,732
Never could leave.
171
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,111
Oh, my God.
172
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,821
I'm… sorry.
173
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,618
Where you going, Teddy?
174
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,257
Uh… Ted?
175
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,259
He thought he could come here
and destroy me,
176
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,595
so I'm gonna go there
and destroy him.
177
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,013
Whattaya need from us?
178
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,306
I need you to leave.
179
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,682
I clearly can't keep you safe.
180
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,225
I can't keep anyone safe!
181
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,020
Well, we won't let
Marjorie die for nothing.
182
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,355
Yeah, he may be
one bad son of a bitch,
183
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,899
but you have us.
184
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,901
Where you go, we go.
185
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,500
There you are, motherfucker.
186
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,284
Uh, how long has it been
since you flew, Mike?
187
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,453
I never flew anything like this.
188
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,080
We'll be okay.
189
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,250
Luisa, te veré de nuevo.
190
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,968
Boosters are go. Nav system, go.
Big Mike, on my count.
191
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,262
Initiating in three, two, one.
192
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,521
Up the pressure!
193
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,648
It's not responding!
We gotta turn back!
194
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,275
We can't turn back!
195
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,111
Keep her together!
196
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:02,156
Equalizing now!
We're almost clear of orbit!
197
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,492
Hold her! Hold her!
198
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,041
Are you seeing this?
199
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,002
It's amazing.
200
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,300
That was the easy part.
Hold on to your dicks.
201
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,940
Okay, if you're… if you're
seeing this one,
202
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,235
clearly the-the holograms
are-are… they're not working.
203
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,279
Let's get him, boys!
204
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,243
Forcibly deactivating vacation mode.
205
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,718
Whatever you're doing out here
has broken the garbage disposal.
206
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,511
Turn this thing off, or I fry her!
207
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,348
Dad, do you want to call off
Deliverance here?
208
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,475
My God. You're his daughter?
209
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,894
It's unbelievable that
I'm not allowed to buy alcohol yet.
210
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,271
Garage, override
code Charlie 7 alpha.
211
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,066
Take her out, Mike!
212
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,650
Wait! Don't hurt her.
213
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,777
Jeez, you're back!
214
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,655
Oh, wait.
Are you still Vacation Rick?
215
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:25,990
Please tell me you have
the leg phone.
216
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,910
You spring breakers
put a hole in my roof.
217
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,787
I'm going back out to the pool.
218
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,373
Hey, buddy, you made it
all the way home.
219
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,416
And you brought your…
your little buds.
220
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,085
- Ted?
- Stand down.
221
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,337
- They didn't ask for this.
- You can say that again.
222
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,047
Somebody better get
the disposal running.
223
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,465
There's fishbones in there.
224
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,259
It's called a garbage disposal!
225
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,429
That was your voice on my leg phone.
226
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,680
You're his friend?
227
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,975
Kind of. I'm your grandson.
228
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,895
Well, it looks like we're
gonna be here for a while, huh?
229
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,106
Where's that fucking red button?
230
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,860
Hey, uh, me? Hologram guy?
231
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,321
- Garage?
- Yes?
232
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,864
Y-You can hear me.
233
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,866
Where's this guy keep his tools?
234
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,662
Holy shit.
235
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,163
Hey, Teddy.
236
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,708
As long as you're building
spaceman stuff…
237
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,925
Yeah. Alright!
238
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,136
I'm gonna get another drink.
239
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,763
Come on, Ted.
We were beating you before this too.
240
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,265
- Gimme another pitcher.
- Sure.
241
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,850
Are you one of those hicks
with robot arms?
242
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,184
What'd you call me?
243
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,894
I thought you guys were owning it.
244
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,604
I'll make it interesting, Teddy.
245
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,530
Tough luck!
That's a hard spare to hit.
246
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,784
Guys, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
247
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,620
What are you doing out here?
248
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,664
- Beth made pancakes.
- I'm busy.
249
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,040
You're wearing his clothes now.
250
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,750
It has pockets, it's not a symbol.
251
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,586
Teddy, you know what would be cool?
252
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,338
If I had laser eyes.
253
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,757
Or, okay, one eye is a laser,
254
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,384
and the other sees through clothes.
255
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,887
What the hell is that?!
256
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,138
Just go in.
257
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,976
I can see our bowling alley.
We're going home.
258
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,353
So, we won? We beat this guy?
259
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,938
- Sure.
- Yeah!
260
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,815
- We did it!
- We're goin' home, boys!
261
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,278
And, uh, you'll gimme lasers
when we, uh, get back home?
262
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,949
Hey, want me to keep an eye
on your old stuff?
263
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,702
Sell it if you want.
Buy Luisa something nice.
264
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,044
He looks pretty normal to me.
265
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,879
Talk to him, then.
266
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,298
- Dad?
- Oh, God!
267
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,258
He's still Ted, apparently.
268
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,718
There's a difference?
269
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,352
You see what I'm saying?
270
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,479
I'm not staying if I can't swim.
271
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,665
Well, look who's back.
272
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,042
Came to pour one out for Marjorie.
273
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,168
Marjorie's over there.
274
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,671
This is Little Mike.
275
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,047
Oh, Jesus.
276
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,049
He got run through
on his own robot arm.
277
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,509
- My boy!
- Fuck.
278
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,927
He was drunk.
279
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,470
Guess he had something in his eye.
280
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,598
I didn't mean for any of this
to happen, you guys.
281
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,767
It was just nice
to vacation with dumb people.
282
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,477
You did this,
283
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,188
you fake outsider piece of shit.
284
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,372
- Morty.
- We're in the middle of a game.
285
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,750
Morty, Grandpa needs you.
286
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,793
Grandpa needs you, Morty.
287
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,129
- Come on, it'll just take a minute.
- Uh, okay, Rick.
288
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,923
I mean, Ted. What are we…
What are we calling him now?
289
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,925
Jesus! That's really dangerous!
290
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,802
It's empty, I-I don't know how to…
291
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,430
How do we get more, Morty?
We gotta get more.
292
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,599
Oh, great, the one time
I was winning.
293
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,892
Can you take your grandfather
294
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,518
back out to the garage,
please, Morty?
295
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,520
That is a troubling family dynamic.
296
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,314
Everybody knows that, right?
297
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,233
We can discuss it after we get
this thing off your father.
298
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,110
Know what… Know what, Morty?
299
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,321
I'm not going back there ever.
300
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,073
Stupid bowling.
301
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,451
Bottle-shooting morons. Idiot trophy.
302
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,495
Aw, wait, no, you don't wanna
keep some of these?
303
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,246
You look so happy.
304
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,376
- Don't shred me, Rick!
- It's trash now, Morty! Drop it!
305
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,839
I'm sorry I tried
to shred you, Morty.
306
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,259
Y-Y-You're a nice kid, a good boy.
307
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,761
You should have your grandpa.
308
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,306
Not this…
I'm-I'm too stupid, Morty.
309
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,141
Stupid Ted.
310
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,227
If I were just
a little bit smarter, I could…
311
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,812
I-I could figure it out.
312
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,188
And be happy.
313
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,648
I'm gonna push the button, Morty.
314
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,316
I'm gonna do it for you.
315
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,194
If that makes you feel better?
316
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,737
Is he…
317
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,364
Is he better at this?
318
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,325
Rick? Um, yeah.
319
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,202
Yeah, he is.
You are.
320
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,413
Don't-don't bullshit me, Morty.
321
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,791
No, you're really smart,
really important.
322
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,837
You have a great family,
and-and lots of friends.
323
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,089
You're so happy.
324
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,216
And we all really love you.
325
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,467
Aw, fuck it.
326
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,854
It… It didn't work?
327
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,647
No.
328
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,482
It did.
329
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,737
We've always known you
as a tourist on our little island.
330
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,448
But now we're gonna
know you as part of our family.
331
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,825
I love you, Sallpock.
332
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,410
Mush-mush-molock.
333
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,537
I didn't think
I was the kind of man…
334
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,123
Sorry. I, um…
335
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,042
We love you, Sallpock!
336
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:39,173
Should anyone object, speak now
or forever hold your peace.
337
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,759
- Yeah, I object.
- It's a rhetorical statement!
338
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,094
Shouldn't we let it play out?
He's not in danger.
339
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,971
I've never seen
these people before in my life.
340
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:49,141
Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go.
Vacation's over.
341
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,268
It's not my vacation! It's my home!
342
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,397
No, no! Let me go! No!
343
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,690
Boom. Egged!
344
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,275
It's okay.
345
00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,985
He's an alien
who removes his intelligence
346
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,320
to hook up with locals.
347
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:02,696
He likes that you're simple.
348
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,198
He doesn't want to be known.
25273