1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:21,999 There he is. 2 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,835 Knew I'd get a handsome man in here if I waited around long enough. 3 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,670 Had to patch a tire out on County Line. 4 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,754 Too good for a tow? 5 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:28,922 Too impatient. 6 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,633 You city folk. Always in a hurry. 7 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,510 By God, look who it is! 8 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,178 - He's back! - Hey! 9 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,263 Welcome back, brother! 10 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,808 Don't know why I ever leave. A place to bowl, a place to fish. 11 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,810 And a beer to hold doing it! 12 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,439 Best friends! 13 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,607 We love you, Ted! 14 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,400 Ted! 15 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,726 You still selling PVC? 16 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,977 How's-how's business down there? 17 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,687 Good enough to get me back up here. 18 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:26,772 Think you could put in a word? 19 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,690 Son, you don't wanna sell pipe. 20 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,025 He just wants to lay some. 21 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,654 Good to have you back, brother. 22 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,822 Split a sixer? 23 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,035 Marjorie's keeping the place open late now? 24 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,454 Yeah. Her mother passed a few months back. 25 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,830 Don't think she wants to go home. 26 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,041 Everybody's runnin' from something. 27 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,673 How's Luisa? She still kick you out of bed 28 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,383 - when you drink? - Yep. 29 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,759 Might as well keep drinking. 30 00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,846 Open the register and gimme your wallet! 31 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:03,809 No, no, no. 32 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,111 - Teddy? - Hello. There's a robbery. 33 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,154 I think this guy's having a heart attack. 34 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,073 Ted, where you going? 35 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,866 Hey! The cops are coming. 36 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,535 Ted! Teddy! 37 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,412 This guy's dying in here! 38 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,433 - Alright, well, shit. - What the hell? What the hell?! 39 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,893 Looks like you learned some things about your body. 40 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,520 I'll make this simple, Ted. 41 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,106 You're not a PVC salesman from two states south. 42 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,691 You're the smartest man who's ever lived, 43 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,818 and you were born 400 light-years away. 44 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,319 You're on Beloi-6E. 45 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,238 It's a primitive planet with good country music 46 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,241 and a shit-ton of snow, real early '90s Earth vibes. 47 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,784 They're 100 years from first contact, 48 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,203 so they don't know who I am, who you are. 49 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,538 Which is the whole point. 50 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,540 You think it's fun to be a god, Ted? 51 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,084 You think God's nipples get hard when he murders a fish? 52 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,377 Th-That's why every summer 53 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,045 I take two weeks off and come here. 54 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,631 I wipe my brain and pull all but my survival tech. 55 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,053 I go home with the peace of mind stupid people get 56 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,847 from watching Kevin Costner movies. 57 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,892 So, look, if you're seeing this because shit's gone sideways, 58 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,477 hit the red button to be me again. 59 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,228 If everything's cool, hit the blue button 60 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,606 to clear this from your memory and enjoy the rest of your trip. 61 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,191 Okay, Morty, that's a wrap on 62 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,776 "If you've been messing with my tech." 63 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,903 Let's run the Taken scenarios. 64 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,922 You here about the dishwasher job? 65 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,591 Shit, you're a popsicle. 66 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,515 You know me, right? 67 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,684 I'd sure like to think so. 68 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,269 I mean it. How could you? 69 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,897 I'm just some guy who shows up every year. 70 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,107 Well, something keeps you coming back here. 71 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,027 Lay back. I got a surprise for you. 72 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,531 Got this set up since your last visit. 73 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,951 It's nice. 74 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,370 Haven't really found occasion to use it. 75 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,704 Thanks for giving me one. 76 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,540 I don't mind the company. 77 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,168 You still have that spare room in back? 78 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,003 I don't want to sleep in the RV. 79 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,976 Don't go. 80 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,811 I'm not gonna. 81 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,240 Okay, obviously, you're seeing this hologram 82 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,325 because you ignored the instructions from the last one. 83 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,411 If you're seeing this hologram, you decided to ignore the hologram. 84 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,954 It'd mean you went pretty rogue. 85 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,581 So just a gentle reminder, 86 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,041 you're not a real person, you're me. 87 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,085 You're permanently fucking up your vacation spot, 88 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,837 which hurts you more than it hurts me. 89 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,215 Though, in all honesty, we're both getting hurt pretty severely… 90 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,306 Ted, one of these days, you gotta come up in July. 91 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,684 I caught a muskie last summer came about up to my neck. 92 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,603 - Stop lying to the man. - No fish in this lake. 93 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730 Actually, thought I might stick around this year. 94 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,440 - See the thaw. - For real, Teddy? 95 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,941 You're gonna… You're gonna stay? 96 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,234 What about your company? 97 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,736 Doesn't seem real. 98 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,656 It's like I've been pretending I go somewhere when I leave, 99 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,451 but I think I only exist when I'm here. 100 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,662 Like this is literally the only place I'm actually alive. 101 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,207 Does that… make sense? 102 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,126 Good thing nobody's driving tonight. 103 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,006 Hey! 104 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,779 Fuck me. 105 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,823 - Hello? Rick? Rick! - Who is this? 106 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,367 I'm really gonna get in trouble for this. 107 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,035 How are you calling my leg? 108 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,370 I'm not supposed to ever use the leg phone, 109 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,330 but I-I just need you to get in the egg. 110 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,375 Don't pick a fight with yourself, okay? 111 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,502 I just want to get you home before anything worse happens. 112 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,088 Nothing's worse than finding out I'm some character 113 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,590 that asshole plays, some costume he puts on to… 114 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,550 He doesn't need you alive to bring you home. 115 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,636 It's not my home! I'm not him! 116 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,972 You are. I mean, I agree with you. 117 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,557 He can be kind of a dick, but y'know, this… 118 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,976 this is just how it is. 119 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,645 No! Help! Help! 120 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,522 And if you could just hang up the leg phone? 121 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,856 I'll just… I'll never hear the end of it 122 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,149 if the leg phone gets lost. 123 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,610 Hello? Hello? 124 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,114 Ted! 125 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,116 Ted, are you okay? 126 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,577 - Thank you. - What is this thing, Ted? 127 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,705 I'm not who you think I am. 128 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,499 Is this your ship from space? 129 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,042 Your spaceship? 130 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,293 It's his. 131 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,504 He's non-vacation me. 132 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,715 I don't know him. And I don't want to. 133 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,258 But this asshole's coming for me 134 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,468 and I don't intend to let him win. 135 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,303 For the love of Pete. 136 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,180 Do you understand what you're asking? 137 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,391 I wouldn't ask at all if there were any other way. 138 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,062 Janice, Mary, I gotta send you home. 139 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,230 We're closing early. 140 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,942 - Come on! - We're only three frames in! 141 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:48,862 Thank you. 142 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,240 Nobody gonna take me seriously. 143 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,992 Janice's gonna have her word… 144 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,661 Promise me you won't come back here tonight. 145 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,455 Always were dramatic. 146 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,539 Promise. 147 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,960 I just… Don't die in my bowling alley. 148 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,628 You hear me? 149 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,594 Holy hell. 150 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,805 - How's it going out there, Bowser? - All good. 151 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,726 Sprinklers, Antonio? 152 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,394 Working on it. Little Mike? 153 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,649 Okay, Big Mike. 154 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,086 Now! 155 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,389 We need those sprinklers, Antonio! 156 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,934 It's not working. 157 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,394 - There's too many! - Fry 'em! 158 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,442 Mike! 159 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,488 Follow me, ya drone bastards! 160 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,828 Teddy, drop! 161 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,753 - Yes! - Come on! Rack' em up! 162 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:29,838 Time for a beer! 163 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:32,257 Fuck you, you self-centered prick! 164 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,384 Who's not a real person now, huh? 165 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,180 Marjorie! 166 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,182 Why'd you come back? 167 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,268 I told you not to come back. 168 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,936 You know me. 169 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,147 I'm a stubborn old bitch. 170 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,732 Never could leave. 171 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,111 Oh, my God. 172 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,821 I'm… sorry. 173 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,618 Where you going, Teddy? 174 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,257 Uh… Ted? 175 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,259 He thought he could come here and destroy me, 176 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,595 so I'm gonna go there and destroy him. 177 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,013 Whattaya need from us? 178 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,306 I need you to leave. 179 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,682 I clearly can't keep you safe. 180 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,225 I can't keep anyone safe! 181 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,020 Well, we won't let Marjorie die for nothing. 182 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,355 Yeah, he may be one bad son of a bitch, 183 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,899 but you have us. 184 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,901 Where you go, we go. 185 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,500 There you are, motherfucker. 186 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,284 Uh, how long has it been since you flew, Mike? 187 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,453 I never flew anything like this. 188 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,080 We'll be okay. 189 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,250 Luisa, te veré de nuevo. 190 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,968 Boosters are go. Nav system, go. Big Mike, on my count. 191 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,262 Initiating in three, two, one. 192 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,521 Up the pressure! 193 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,648 It's not responding! We gotta turn back! 194 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,275 We can't turn back! 195 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,111 Keep her together! 196 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:02,156 Equalizing now! We're almost clear of orbit! 197 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,492 Hold her! Hold her! 198 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,041 Are you seeing this? 199 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,002 It's amazing. 200 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,300 That was the easy part. Hold on to your dicks. 201 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,940 Okay, if you're… if you're seeing this one, 202 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,235 clearly the-the holograms are-are… they're not working. 203 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,279 Let's get him, boys! 204 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,243 Forcibly deactivating vacation mode. 205 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,718 Whatever you're doing out here has broken the garbage disposal. 206 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,511 Turn this thing off, or I fry her! 207 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,348 Dad, do you want to call off Deliverance here? 208 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,475 My God. You're his daughter? 209 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,894 It's unbelievable that I'm not allowed to buy alcohol yet. 210 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,271 Garage, override code Charlie 7 alpha. 211 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,066 Take her out, Mike! 212 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,650 Wait! Don't hurt her. 213 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,777 Jeez, you're back! 214 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,655 Oh, wait. Are you still Vacation Rick? 215 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:25,990 Please tell me you have the leg phone. 216 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,910 You spring breakers put a hole in my roof. 217 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,787 I'm going back out to the pool. 218 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,373 Hey, buddy, you made it all the way home. 219 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,416 And you brought your… your little buds. 220 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,085 - Ted? - Stand down. 221 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,337 - They didn't ask for this. - You can say that again. 222 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,047 Somebody better get the disposal running. 223 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,465 There's fishbones in there. 224 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,259 It's called a garbage disposal! 225 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,429 That was your voice on my leg phone. 226 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,680 You're his friend? 227 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,975 Kind of. I'm your grandson. 228 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,895 Well, it looks like we're gonna be here for a while, huh? 229 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,106 Where's that fucking red button? 230 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,860 Hey, uh, me? Hologram guy? 231 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,321 - Garage? - Yes? 232 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,864 Y-You can hear me. 233 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,866 Where's this guy keep his tools? 234 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,662 Holy shit. 235 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,163 Hey, Teddy. 236 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,708 As long as you're building spaceman stuff… 237 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,925 Yeah. Alright! 238 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,136 I'm gonna get another drink. 239 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,763 Come on, Ted. We were beating you before this too. 240 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,265 - Gimme another pitcher. - Sure. 241 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,850 Are you one of those hicks with robot arms? 242 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,184 What'd you call me? 243 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,894 I thought you guys were owning it. 244 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,604 I'll make it interesting, Teddy. 245 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,530 Tough luck! That's a hard spare to hit. 246 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,784 Guys, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 247 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,620 What are you doing out here? 248 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,664 - Beth made pancakes. - I'm busy. 249 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,040 You're wearing his clothes now. 250 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,750 It has pockets, it's not a symbol. 251 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,586 Teddy, you know what would be cool? 252 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,338 If I had laser eyes. 253 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,757 Or, okay, one eye is a laser, 254 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,384 and the other sees through clothes. 255 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,887 What the hell is that?! 256 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,138 Just go in. 257 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,976 I can see our bowling alley. We're going home. 258 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,353 So, we won? We beat this guy? 259 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,938 - Sure. - Yeah! 260 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,815 - We did it! - We're goin' home, boys! 261 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,278 And, uh, you'll gimme lasers when we, uh, get back home? 262 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,949 Hey, want me to keep an eye on your old stuff? 263 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,702 Sell it if you want. Buy Luisa something nice. 264 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,044 He looks pretty normal to me. 265 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,879 Talk to him, then. 266 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,298 - Dad? - Oh, God! 267 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,258 He's still Ted, apparently. 268 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,718 There's a difference? 269 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,352 You see what I'm saying? 270 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,479 I'm not staying if I can't swim. 271 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,665 Well, look who's back. 272 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,042 Came to pour one out for Marjorie. 273 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,168 Marjorie's over there. 274 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,671 This is Little Mike. 275 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,047 Oh, Jesus. 276 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,049 He got run through on his own robot arm. 277 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,509 - My boy! - Fuck. 278 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,927 He was drunk. 279 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,470 Guess he had something in his eye. 280 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,598 I didn't mean for any of this to happen, you guys. 281 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,767 It was just nice to vacation with dumb people. 282 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,477 You did this, 283 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,188 you fake outsider piece of shit. 284 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,372 - Morty. - We're in the middle of a game. 285 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,750 Morty, Grandpa needs you. 286 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,793 Grandpa needs you, Morty. 287 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,129 - Come on, it'll just take a minute. - Uh, okay, Rick. 288 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,923 I mean, Ted. What are we… What are we calling him now? 289 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,925 Jesus! That's really dangerous! 290 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,802 It's empty, I-I don't know how to… 291 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,430 How do we get more, Morty? We gotta get more. 292 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,599 Oh, great, the one time I was winning. 293 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,892 Can you take your grandfather 294 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,518 back out to the garage, please, Morty? 295 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,520 That is a troubling family dynamic. 296 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,314 Everybody knows that, right? 297 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,233 We can discuss it after we get this thing off your father. 298 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,110 Know what… Know what, Morty? 299 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,321 I'm not going back there ever. 300 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,073 Stupid bowling. 301 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,451 Bottle-shooting morons. Idiot trophy. 302 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,495 Aw, wait, no, you don't wanna keep some of these? 303 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,246 You look so happy. 304 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,376 - Don't shred me, Rick! - It's trash now, Morty! Drop it! 305 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,839 I'm sorry I tried to shred you, Morty. 306 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,259 Y-Y-You're a nice kid, a good boy. 307 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,761 You should have your grandpa. 308 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,306 Not this… I'm-I'm too stupid, Morty. 309 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,141 Stupid Ted. 310 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,227 If I were just a little bit smarter, I could… 311 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,812 I-I could figure it out. 312 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,188 And be happy. 313 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,648 I'm gonna push the button, Morty. 314 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,316 I'm gonna do it for you. 315 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,194 If that makes you feel better? 316 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,737 Is he… 317 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,364 Is he better at this? 318 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,325 Rick? Um, yeah. 319 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,202 Yeah, he is. You are. 320 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,413 Don't-don't bullshit me, Morty. 321 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,791 No, you're really smart, really important. 322 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,837 You have a great family, and-and lots of friends. 323 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,089 You're so happy. 324 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,216 And we all really love you. 325 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,467 Aw, fuck it. 326 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,854 It… It didn't work? 327 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,647 No. 328 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,482 It did. 329 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,737 We've always known you as a tourist on our little island. 330 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,448 But now we're gonna know you as part of our family. 331 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,825 I love you, Sallpock. 332 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,410 Mush-mush-molock. 333 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,537 I didn't think I was the kind of man… 334 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,123 Sorry. I, um… 335 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,042 We love you, Sallpock! 336 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:39,173 Should anyone object, speak now or forever hold your peace. 337 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,759 - Yeah, I object. - It's a rhetorical statement! 338 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,094 Shouldn't we let it play out? He's not in danger. 339 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,971 I've never seen these people before in my life. 340 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:49,141 Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go. Vacation's over. 341 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,268 It's not my vacation! It's my home! 342 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,397 No, no! Let me go! No! 343 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,690 Boom. Egged! 344 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,275 It's okay. 345 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,985 He's an alien who removes his intelligence 346 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,320 to hook up with locals. 347 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:02,696 He likes that you're simple. 348 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,198 He doesn't want to be known.