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1
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And we are back.
2
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Hey girl, want some brown liquor? Brown liquor, I'll make this pussy pie. Tequila it is.
3
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Here you go.
4
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Viva la Rivera Luciana! Now that shit right there make your pussy pop on your head, fam.
5
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So what are you doing here anyway?
6
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What you think I'm doing here? I'm starting in the opening too.
7
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Been there, done that.
8
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Take off the phone! Take off the phone!
9
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Richie?
10
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Tiana, hey. I thought it would be easier for the audience if we didn't have to read more texts.
11
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Yeah, that makes sense. Cause you know these motherfuckers can't read.
12
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I know. Who goes to see a wedding's breakfast movie?
13
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Well, it's nice to phone me here in this super awkward way.
14
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Likewise, but I've gotta be honest, when I see your profile picture, bitch, you almost swipe left.
15
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Cause you look mad goofy. But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas got a big dick, so...
16
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Here we are.
17
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I'll take you for a Jersey girl.
18
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A Jersey girl? Listen, I love jerseys, damn.
19
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But I'm a Harlem girl. Born in motherfucking rage. Real niggas only. Yeah.
20
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Oh, so you're black.
21
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No motherfuckers. I'm black.
22
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All cats. No cats. But cats. Fuck all y'all.
23
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Bitch, spit them pearls back out.
24
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Like, want your shit?
25
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Hello?
26
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So tell me, what's your favorite scary movie?
27
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Mmm... I don't really do. You know, all the super tropes and shit. Why is it always the white bitch at the end?
28
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Cause they know it's too hard to kill a sister. You know what I'm saying? Cause if the sister can survive government cheese, we can survive anything.
29
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You know, it might help if you met me outside.
30
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Met you outside? Boy, you just needy. What's your sign? You must be a Scorpio.
31
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How'd you know?
32
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Good dick, though. The toxic is hit.
33
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Hey, is the restaurant here an alley?
34
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Yes, hurry, but they were all in your lives.
35
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Frozen?
36
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Ah! Not dead. She's a bitch.
37
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Heard you all.
38
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Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.
39
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I'm here. Can you see me? I'm waving.
40
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No. The person I'm looking at is not waving. In fact, they're just staring at me.
41
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Well, staring his ass back!
42
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Hey! And don't blink. Never blink. You got splashed with lips and feel like what?
43
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No, they're walking towards me now.
44
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Oh my, oh no, they have a knife!
45
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Why don't I leave this ass over here?
46
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That's not the worst part.
47
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The worst part is, you know so much about horror movies, and yet you still walk into the alley alone.
48
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Yeah, but the worst part is, you're fucking with a New York bitch.
49
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Cuckoo!
50
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Yeah!
51
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Cuckoo!
52
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Cuckoo!
53
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Cuckoo!
54
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Cuckoo!
55
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Cuckoo!
56
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Cuckoo!
57
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Cuckoo!
58
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,060
Cuckoo!
59
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Augh!
60
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Dany that!
61
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He done some Avenger shit!
62
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Cuckoo!
63
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Cuckoo!
64
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Seriously, laddie?
65
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,080
I don't recognize your bird called that. I thought you were all war soldiers.
66
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That's a pigeon, nigga. It's supposed to be a hawk swooping in an attack.
67
00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:36,820
Mother, are you done? What the hell?
68
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Bitch, I'm Tiana Taylor. My abs got ass.
69
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Help me!
70
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No, no, no, no!
71
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Now, get your hands off!
72
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Welcome to your sucker.
73
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,940
Hey, Tiana. You might have kicked my ass, but you still didn't win that Oscar.
74
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What you say about my Oscar?
75
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You know, I stuttered. You lost.
76
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You right. But I want that golden globe, bitch.
77
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Oh my god, really?
78
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,900
So that's why I never watched horror movies.
79
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It's fucking terrible.
80
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Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
81
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So, you don't like parodies?
82
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I'm more into Judd Acatow films.
83
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:37,460
You know, elevated comedy.
84
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,400
And what is elevated comedy?
85
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The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh, but makes white people feel smart.
86
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,660
Tuesday? Don't answer that. It'd be Ghostface.
87
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Oh, come on, Elle.
88
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Stuff like that only happens in the movies.
89
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Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you to answer the door, huh?
90
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What the fuck?
91
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,640
Now, where's my knife?
92
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:04,900
There is.
93
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:06,400
Hello.
94
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:07,980
Tuesday.
95
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Guys.
96
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What'd you take?
97
00:06:37,950 --> 00:06:39,670
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
98
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Adderall for PTSD.
99
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A couple of Xanax for my anxiety.
100
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And your voter pills.
101
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So, good luck getting it up now.
102
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Jesus!
103
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Sarah!
104
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How many did you take?
105
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I don't know.
106
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How many come in a bottle?
107
00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:56,610
Hey, Jeff.
108
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Sarah.
109
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Tuesday's in the hospital.
110
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She was stabbed by a killer.
111
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You know?
112
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Ghostface.
113
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Wait.
114
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From Rotten?
115
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,730
Why was Ghostface Killer?
116
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Aka Pretty Tony.
117
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Aka Starkie Love.
118
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And stabbed my sister.
119
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God, Sarah.
120
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,210
It wasn't Ghostface Killer.
121
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It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.
122
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Oh.
123
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Okay.
124
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That makes more sense.
125
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Son.
126
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I ate the wand!
127
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Jesus, Jack!
128
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My strange blood tested half sisters was nearly killed by a psycho and a Ghost Mask!
129
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I gotta go see her.
130
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They'll make up for the past.
131
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Mom hey hey hey.
132
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I'm going with you.
133
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Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure you back to your hometown. I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
134
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Yeah.
135
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That's all.
136
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,770
Okay, let's go. Get in the car.
137
00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:54,830
Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.
138
00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:56,750
I survived!
139
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All thanks to my lucky penny!
140
00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:14,830
I don't want to be in no sausage fest.
141
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:17,070
Yeah, all the ladies have no way east to west.
142
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:19,230
Pow, wow, wow, wow, I'm impressed.
143
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Booty, up, down, up, down.
144
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:26,770
Hey, we love you!
145
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Come give me a hug!
146
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,390
Mom, come on. Turn off this ratchet-ass music.
147
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It's embarrassing, especially for black women.
148
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It's not embarrassing. I'm the cool mom.
149
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Everybody wish they had. I'm lit!
150
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,430
Don't forget, I got practice later, so I'll be home late.
151
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You only made the team because you're black.
152
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,670
And those racist fucks assumed you could play.
153
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It's 2026. I don't think race is an issue.
154
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Do you read black Twitter?
155
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:51,950
No.
156
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,450
Oh, Ray, are you still dating that hoe?
157
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,910
Okay, stop hoe shaming her.
158
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:01,650
Just because Daryl and them ride a train on her doesn't make her a hoe.
159
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:04,390
She's not a hoe. She's sex positive.
160
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,630
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
161
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,450
Hey, girl! Look at you!
162
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:11,930
Early for Halloween, huh? What you this shit?
163
00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:13,950
Bloody school, girl. How do we have?
164
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:15,430
Hi, Miss Meeks.
165
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:17,350
Love the hair.
166
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,590
I mean, I'll take it Spencer.
167
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:23,610
Well, thank you very much. I gotta invite you over and make you a little shit pack.
168
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,990
Oh, you know what? I gotta get to African American history class.
169
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:29,450
We're learning about slavery.
170
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,690
We're trying to find out it was a choice. You see that right there?
171
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:34,490
That's Kanye.
172
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:35,130
That's right.
173
00:09:35,330 --> 00:09:37,630
They've been teaching us Ronald all this time.
174
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Mm-hmm.
175
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Stay black.
176
00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:40,490
Bye, Mom.
177
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:41,250
Alright.
178
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,390
Bye, baby.
179
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Bye, sweet, bye.
180
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:46,030
Then I put some condoms in your bag.
181
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You know how they try to trap y'all.
182
00:09:50,850 --> 00:09:51,730
Okay, seriously?
183
00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:54,450
Sheriff Greg, you don't have to walk me to class. I'm fine.
184
00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,970
Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose.
185
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,910
I'm not gonna let anything happen to my baby girl.
186
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:02,190
Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy.
187
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:02,790
I'm sorry.
188
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,410
I'm just having a hard time with this transition.
189
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:08,670
Okay, it's really simple. Treat me like one of the guys.
190
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:09,670
Okay?
191
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:12,070
I can do that?
192
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:12,430
Yeah.
193
00:10:13,370 --> 00:10:13,990
Slap bite.
194
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,330
Oh, you call that a slap?
195
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,590
Who the hell did you do that for?
196
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,430
I'm like such a bitch.
197
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:25,190
Bitch.
198
00:10:29,350 --> 00:10:30,350
Yeah, not bad.
199
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,050
Who the hell lives like this?
200
00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:51,710
Good to see you! Come in! Do you want some tea?
201
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,670
Oh my god, mother. You look like shit!
202
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:57,930
Hey, please. This is clearly a woman who's run out of condition.
203
00:10:57,930 --> 00:11:03,630
Oh, be careful where you walk. The whole place is booby trapped. You never know when that cycle's gonna come back.
204
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,710
Come in.
205
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:06,350
Okay.
206
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:17,970
I hate this job.
207
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:28,330
Mrs. Campbell. I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend. I've heard so much about you. None of it could.
208
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:38,390
I have heard nothing about you, Jack. I assume you're a piece of shit. But how would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter in what, six months?
209
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:40,170
Six years, mother.
210
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:41,830
And whose fault is that?
211
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:44,430
And whose fault is that? I don't know. Maybe it's yours.
212
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:49,770
That's fair. We want to learn from the horror you survived.
213
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:56,410
Look, scary movie three and four paid me a lot of money for her girl. There is nothing to learn there.
214
00:11:56,410 --> 00:11:59,310
But if you want to talk about the house, buddy, shoot.
215
00:11:59,530 --> 00:12:04,790
It's happening again. Some asshole in a mask. We have to stop him.
216
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:12,070
You're not ready, lovebug. I have been preparing for this for years. Sacrificed everything.
217
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,630
You are a terrible mother.
218
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:21,010
Come on, honey. We have some good times. Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall.
219
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:26,210
Come on.
220
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,740
Your turn, Sarah. Move.
221
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,600
Hi, Santa.
222
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:39,100
Sorry if I don't sit in your lap. You creep me out.
223
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:47,210
Mom!
224
00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:52,150
Be sure to thank him.
225
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:11,450
I am sorry if that's how you found out.
226
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:12,810
Santa doesn't exist.
227
00:13:13,430 --> 00:13:15,310
Mother, I need your help.
228
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:18,510
To heal her emotional wounds and put the past behind us.
229
00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,290
Oh, God, no.
230
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,590
No, to kill Ghostface.
231
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,250
Do you have any guns?
232
00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:28,190
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
233
00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:30,370
I've got millions of guns.
234
00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:35,130
But, um, none of them are registered due to my mental health issues.
235
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,150
So, if you could just keep that on the low.
236
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:40,590
Okay.
237
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:45,470
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be fine. I didn't hurt myself on any of these fights.
238
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,230
Oh, hey, so I spoke to Sarah earlier.
239
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:56,110
Oh, is she coming?
240
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,370
You know I did hear a buzzing sound.
241
00:13:58,790 --> 00:13:59,530
So it's possible.
242
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:01,230
No, I meant to Woodsville.
243
00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:02,010
Dumbass.
244
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:03,330
Oh, Dad forgot to ask.
245
00:14:03,450 --> 00:14:03,970
Hey, Jimbo!
246
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:04,990
Go deep!
247
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:06,850
Oh!
248
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:08,490
Sweet!
249
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,450
Speaking of going deep.
250
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,390
Uh, I don't know if it's a good time.
251
00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:17,290
Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try to make love when there's a killer in the loose.
252
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:18,710
Brad's right about one thing, guys.
253
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,110
Okay, Ghostface is back.
254
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,270
We need to arm up.
255
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:22,430
Pepper spray?
256
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:22,990
Check.
257
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:24,690
Taser?
258
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:25,850
Check.
259
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,350
Butt plug?
260
00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:28,570
Double chuck.
261
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,090
Goddamn!
262
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,330
You just carry that thing around?
263
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:33,690
It's easy to hide.
264
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:38,070
In your butt?
265
00:14:39,850 --> 00:14:40,910
I'm impressed.
266
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:52,240
What's up, y'all?
267
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:52,980
Unk!
268
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:53,860
I'm back!
269
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,560
Hey, what's up, unk?
270
00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,120
Unk!
271
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:06,200
I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using terms like Unk and Auntie, Gaslighting and
272
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,140
Plazing and Glamping, trying to make my generation sound old.
273
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,780
I ain't your damn aunt, niggas!
274
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:14,800
Shorty, you're our mother's brother, so yeah, technically you are our uncle.
275
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,120
My bad, yeah!
276
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:20,320
Crazy that they let you teach here.
277
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:21,160
Teach?
278
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:51,080
No I didn't. I attend. You looking at a proud 25th year senior. When are you finally gonna graduate? By the time we do a sequel and I'm about to follow you little young niggas to college to get my check. Wait, guys, Tuesday's awake. Alright, Tuesday, who the fuck is Tuesday? We gotta go to the hospital. You gonna take the bus home? Nah, the PJ. Private jet? Yeah, jealous. Man, you smoke weed all day. Just play video games, live stream. You literally got money doing nothing. Exactly.
279
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,780
Exactly. I leave the hard work for the old head.
280
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,420
Ha ha ha ha! Yes, son! Ha ha ha!
281
00:15:56,700 --> 00:16:03,820
The same story. Alright. Check my cryptos. Oh, shit, I'm up three million dollars! Ha ha ha ha!
282
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:08,740
Damn, now I'm down five million. This shit is crazy, son.
283
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:42,220
I'm down five million. This shit is crazy, son. This shit is crazy, son. I'm gonna let it shine.
284
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:43,840
Ray!
285
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:56,760
Sister Bringer, it's okay. You've heard the call of sin. Yes, you did. But the Lord has called on us to show men such like you, the rain. Come on, son. Come with us. Come on us.
286
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:08,420
God see you coming, so don't cheat that girl. We need you to come like you never came before. Come for the Father, come for the Son. I'm gonna hold your hand and we're gonna come together.
287
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:19,690
Amen. Let it go. In the name of God! Let it go, Ray! Let it go!
288
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:24,690
Oh, my bad. Last time.
289
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:31,010
Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.
290
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,790
Little people, how do you feel?
291
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,610
I'm not gay no more.
292
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,470
I'm not gay no more!
293
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,370
I'm not gay no more!
294
00:17:56,140 --> 00:18:00,360
Even if he sets his hair with a big old chest like this and perky areolas!
295
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,760
I'm gay, he's still got a secret.
296
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:06,720
I no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk around in high heels!
297
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,500
Red bottles!
298
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,760
The one with the cute little buckle on the side!
299
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:11,900
It's the black shoes!
300
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:17,140
I no longer go on grinders and swipe right at black men!
301
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:17,480
Hmm?
302
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:19,760
White men! Asian men!
303
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,920
You wanna grind it?
304
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,980
I no longer take trips to the Philippines!
305
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:24,880
Looking for ladyboys!
306
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:25,940
The Phuket!
307
00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:26,620
The Phuket!
308
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:27,540
The Phuket!
309
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,180
Back to Phuket!
310
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,460
Then the Vietnam to see if I can get them any cheaper!
311
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,660
I thought that was the one I added with you, Ray!
312
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,720
Oh, this nigga got a lot in my house.
313
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,120
I no longer stand hot naked in the mirror!
314
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,180
With my penis tucked between my legs!
315
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,100
Dancing like a dude from Silence of the Lambs!
316
00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:44,040
And puts the lotion in the basket, precious!
317
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,700
I'm a changed man!
318
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:46,620
I've been delivered!
319
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,440
I will!
320
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:49,960
I said I will!
321
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,220
I will!
322
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,060
Now!
323
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:53,000
A woman!
324
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:54,840
Woman!
325
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:56,080
Woman!
326
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:58,040
Woman!
327
00:18:59,260 --> 00:18:59,480
Woman!
328
00:18:59,480 --> 00:18:59,600
Woman!
329
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,080
Woman!
330
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:05,840
W should't die.
331
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:06,740
Look.
332
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:07,720
Right?
333
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:08,040
Right?
334
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,340
Wow.
335
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,060
New town!
336
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,080
Yeah!
337
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,360
Are you honking on it?
338
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:38,330
Oh, please remember!
339
00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:59,220
Oh, her face!
340
00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:01,860
Oh my god, in the morning!
341
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,980
I'm trying to give it up for an hour.
342
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,000
What are you feeling, too?
343
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,640
Hey, what am I giving you for the pain?
344
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:17,460
Is that... is that Morgane or...?
345
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:18,920
Bitches!
346
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,360
Yeah!
347
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,720
Oh, yeah!
348
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:26,140
Oh, this is that good, good.
349
00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:28,560
This is that Britney Spears shit.
350
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,940
Makes me wanna get half-naked, dance around, and juggle some knives.
351
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,860
Who's that Jeffrey Dahmer looking like?
352
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,900
This is my boyfriend, Jack.
353
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:39,480
Really nice to meet you.
354
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,060
Lookin' like Ted Bundy to me.
355
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,300
But that ain't none of my business.
356
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,000
This little stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest.
357
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,000
So y'all, get the fuck out!
358
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:51,740
Yes, ma'am.
359
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,120
Oh, not you, Sarah!
360
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:55,740
Why?
361
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:56,860
What did I do?
362
00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,380
I'm so scared.
363
00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:02,220
Oh, twos.
364
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,520
You should be.
365
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,740
You've been stabbed nine times.
366
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,980
And the killer knows where you live.
367
00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,520
I would invite you to come stay at my place.
368
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,500
But I don't really want that kind of juju in my house.
369
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,960
After all, we know he's standing right outside that door.
370
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,080
Oh my god.
371
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:25,250
It's comforting, Sarah.
372
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:27,510
I thought I was gonna die.
373
00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:28,890
I know, me too!
374
00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,230
I planned your funeral.
375
00:21:32,110 --> 00:21:33,070
What the hell?
376
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,050
And I wrote your obituary.
377
00:21:35,290 --> 00:21:36,730
More like Chachi T wrote it.
378
00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:40,670
But you're still here, and I will never let anyone hurt you.
379
00:21:42,490 --> 00:21:43,450
Oh, dumb!
380
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:44,550
I'm shit!
381
00:21:47,170 --> 00:21:48,230
Get off me!
382
00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:53,310
This white girl can die on my ship!
383
00:21:53,590 --> 00:21:54,550
I'm a DEI!
384
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:56,050
Oh my god, oh my god!
385
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:56,690
You're flying!
386
00:21:56,910 --> 00:21:57,590
Let me go!
387
00:21:57,710 --> 00:21:58,710
No, no, I'm good!
388
00:21:58,910 --> 00:21:59,230
You're good!
389
00:21:59,350 --> 00:21:59,670
Clear!
390
00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:01,610
Again!
391
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:02,990
Come on, my bitch!
392
00:22:03,090 --> 00:22:03,890
I need this job!
393
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:04,370
Clear!
394
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:05,790
It's not working!
395
00:22:06,610 --> 00:22:07,890
Oh, we lose it!
396
00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:09,790
I'm here!
397
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:15,400
Oh, boy.
398
00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:20,660
Looks like there ain't nothing left with forts, prayers, and pork rinds.
399
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:21,520
Dear Lord.
400
00:22:21,820 --> 00:22:22,360
You're threatened!
401
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,760
Check out the wire!
402
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,900
The wire was the shit, baby.
403
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,320
That's my show, Frogs, and that Idris album.
404
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,360
Make this coochie wanna pop, pop, pop!
405
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,400
Dear Lord.
406
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,420
Please accept this white bitchin'.
407
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:35,680
Oh!
408
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,460
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
409
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,420
I'm going on break.
410
00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:41,920
I will choose.
411
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,820
I will never let anyone hurt you.
412
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:45,760
Again.
413
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:50,780
Ooh!
414
00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:51,920
My man!
415
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,140
Hello?
416
00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:06,440
Hello, Sarah.
417
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,440
Who is this?
418
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,920
Someone who knows your little secret.
419
00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:13,400
No, no, no.
420
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,340
I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute!
421
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:15,900
Okay?
422
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:18,980
I won Prom Queen and I was throwing my heart to the crowd!
423
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:19,700
No!
424
00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:23,800
I'm talking about your family's secret.
425
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,880
Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister!
426
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,820
Well, I had to get you to come back here.
427
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:35,040
Listen, if you were to fuck with me, asshole, then come and get me!
428
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:35,940
With pleasure!
429
00:24:13,030 --> 00:24:15,830
Oh, it's delicious!
430
00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:17,590
I am a pork rind.
431
00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:24,010
Time now breaks over.
432
00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:31,510
You're welcome.
433
00:24:34,590 --> 00:24:38,150
It really looks like you got hit with something hard. Like metal.
434
00:24:38,390 --> 00:24:41,910
I told you I fell. Now where exactly are we going?
435
00:24:42,310 --> 00:24:43,410
To talk to an expert.
436
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:57,040
Owen!
437
00:24:57,460 --> 00:24:59,200
I'm so sorry to bother you. We just...
438
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,840
We just want to ask you a few questions.
439
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,940
Give me one good day's why I should talk to you.
440
00:25:04,580 --> 00:25:05,140
I'm white.
441
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:06,140
How white?
442
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,360
Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens' white.
443
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,020
Oh!
444
00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:10,800
Fix it!
445
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,320
When you said expert, I assumed you're not more like you.
446
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,980
I'm Sarah Campbell. I was attacked last night.
447
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:20,380
I think you should leave me. I don't want to get stabbed.
448
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,860
And I don't want to come in, okay?
449
00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:24,520
Please, come on. Just two minutes. That's all I'm asking.
450
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,160
No, no. I'll give you eight minutes.
451
00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:29,400
And another thing.
452
00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:30,840
Oh!
453
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,480
I can test your code.
454
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:33,820
Oh my gosh!
455
00:25:35,980 --> 00:25:36,440
Oh!
456
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,120
You guys are good.
457
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,500
When did the work week become the woke week?
458
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,480
We've got Black Friday, what's next?
459
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:43,360
Mulatto Monday?
460
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,020
I mean Yellow Thursday.
461
00:25:45,020 --> 00:25:45,140
I mean Yellow Thursday.
462
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:47,640
Come on.
463
00:25:50,170 --> 00:25:51,130
We can test.
464
00:25:51,350 --> 00:25:51,970
That was your way.
465
00:25:52,610 --> 00:25:52,910
Oh!
466
00:25:54,430 --> 00:25:54,990
Oh!
467
00:25:55,330 --> 00:25:55,570
Oh!
468
00:25:55,570 --> 00:25:56,290
So the test is done.
469
00:25:57,630 --> 00:25:58,130
Yep.
470
00:25:58,530 --> 00:25:58,990
You're good.
471
00:26:01,030 --> 00:26:02,670
You're Cindy's daughter, right?
472
00:26:02,970 --> 00:26:03,250
Yeah.
473
00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:03,870
Yeah.
474
00:26:03,870 --> 00:26:05,190
I don't know him.
475
00:26:05,350 --> 00:26:05,430
I don't know him.
476
00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:06,170
Oh, this is Jack.
477
00:26:06,590 --> 00:26:07,610
My love interest.
478
00:26:07,910 --> 00:26:08,410
No.
479
00:26:08,790 --> 00:26:09,430
No, no, no.
480
00:26:09,790 --> 00:26:14,930
Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is never trust the love interest.
481
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:15,870
Look at him.
482
00:26:17,030 --> 00:26:22,770
He's got that weird lazy eye poking one way and he's drooling like a psychopath.
483
00:26:22,770 --> 00:26:22,850
Yeah.
484
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:24,970
He's got that stump leg.
485
00:26:25,190 --> 00:26:27,650
Makes them all walk weird and creepy.
486
00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:30,590
I don't have a stump leg like he does.
487
00:26:31,070 --> 00:26:31,430
Oh.
488
00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:32,950
What's that name?
489
00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:35,490
Just watch your duty.
490
00:26:36,410 --> 00:26:36,930
Retired.
491
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,850
Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help.
492
00:26:40,510 --> 00:26:40,890
Yeah.
493
00:26:41,590 --> 00:26:42,770
I can't go back to that light.
494
00:26:42,990 --> 00:26:45,390
Plus, we're in the middle of a global pandemic.
495
00:26:45,390 --> 00:26:45,710
Okay.
496
00:26:45,870 --> 00:26:49,050
I hate to break it to you, but COVID has been over for like years.
497
00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:50,550
Really?
498
00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:51,990
Yeah.
499
00:26:54,870 --> 00:26:55,310
Yeah.
500
00:26:55,310 --> 00:26:55,910
Damn it!
501
00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:58,850
What am I going to do with all this can-me?
502
00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:01,990
Get out!
503
00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:03,950
I don't want your shit to find you.
504
00:27:04,310 --> 00:27:05,010
And don't come back!
505
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,220
This is you, I'm gonna believe it!
506
00:27:24,540 --> 00:27:25,560
That's what you did.
507
00:27:25,940 --> 00:27:26,760
It's what you did.
508
00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:28,960
Okay.
509
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,360
Just because he showered doesn't mean that-
510
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,160
Yeah, I didn't shower, I just take water from my nap.
511
00:27:34,860 --> 00:27:35,440
You want some?
512
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:36,540
No, that's okay.
513
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:37,100
Okay.
514
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:37,920
Come on, do you see?
515
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:38,420
Yeah.
516
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:39,260
Do it.
517
00:27:39,260 --> 00:27:41,260
Sarah, is your ghetto-ass mom coming?
518
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,880
Or can we start talking about this plot?
519
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:45,720
Uh...
520
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,280
Hi.
521
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,280
You came?
522
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,240
Not in like 15 years, honey.
523
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,360
But I did buy this new rose, so fingers crossed.
524
00:27:59,430 --> 00:28:00,190
Oh!
525
00:28:01,050 --> 00:28:01,730
Oh!
526
00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:02,670
Oh!
527
00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:02,990
Oh!
528
00:28:02,990 --> 00:28:03,810
Oh, my old friend!
529
00:28:04,290 --> 00:28:06,170
You taught me how to dance?
530
00:28:06,710 --> 00:28:09,230
How to make a high and work pie?
531
00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,750
Nigga, I'm writing back here.
532
00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:12,650
Sweet!
533
00:28:13,050 --> 00:28:14,170
What's up, Sandy?
534
00:28:14,350 --> 00:28:14,690
What?
535
00:28:14,790 --> 00:28:15,310
How you doing?
536
00:28:15,530 --> 00:28:16,250
Bye, nigger!
537
00:28:17,590 --> 00:28:18,510
Shit, son!
538
00:28:19,950 --> 00:28:22,010
I can't believe you thought I was dead!
539
00:28:22,330 --> 00:28:29,150
Well, between cancer, from the weed, smoke, your love of the McRib, and racist cops, I didn't think you had a chance.
540
00:28:29,150 --> 00:28:30,450
Yeah, that's the two of them coming.
541
00:28:31,830 --> 00:28:32,870
Hi, and...
542
00:28:32,870 --> 00:28:34,370
Stop smiling at me!
543
00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:36,430
Oh!
544
00:28:37,050 --> 00:28:37,410
Shit!
545
00:28:37,810 --> 00:28:38,330
Wildstar!
546
00:28:39,110 --> 00:28:39,630
Wildstar!
547
00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:40,590
Wildstar!
548
00:28:40,870 --> 00:28:41,390
Hey!
549
00:28:41,630 --> 00:28:43,250
He's intellectually disabled!
550
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:45,270
That's just how he looks, you drunk honky!
551
00:28:45,430 --> 00:28:45,950
Hey, hey, hey!
552
00:28:46,290 --> 00:28:47,690
Who call that white bitch a honky?
553
00:28:48,090 --> 00:28:49,090
Who has some respect?
554
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:51,910
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere!
555
00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:54,270
I'm not very likable, so...
556
00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:56,050
It must be some kind of curse.
557
00:28:56,370 --> 00:28:57,150
Hey, everybody!
558
00:28:57,790 --> 00:28:59,010
Look what I got!
559
00:28:59,290 --> 00:29:01,130
Non-branded gelatin shop!
560
00:29:01,430 --> 00:29:06,130
Made with great alcohol and GHB, so ain't nobody sippin' that name consent to like...
561
00:29:06,130 --> 00:29:06,190
What?
562
00:29:06,470 --> 00:29:07,430
I apologize.
563
00:29:07,730 --> 00:29:08,030
Say one.
564
00:29:08,170 --> 00:29:09,510
I love Rufy and myself.
565
00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:10,970
No.
566
00:29:11,130 --> 00:29:11,850
You sure, baby?
567
00:29:12,030 --> 00:29:12,630
Hi, Brenda.
568
00:29:12,970 --> 00:29:15,230
Please do not call me by my government name.
569
00:29:15,370 --> 00:29:16,070
Call me, Mom!
570
00:29:18,110 --> 00:29:18,550
Sandy!
571
00:29:19,350 --> 00:29:19,530
Hey!
572
00:29:19,810 --> 00:29:20,150
Come on!
573
00:29:21,050 --> 00:29:22,210
You dropped the train.
574
00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:23,050
Oh, my God!
575
00:29:23,270 --> 00:29:23,530
Sandy!
576
00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:25,270
I haven't seen you in forever!
577
00:29:25,870 --> 00:29:26,650
I got it!
578
00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:27,070
Look at you!
579
00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:27,930
You look the same!
580
00:29:28,630 --> 00:29:30,050
Mine is the crow's feet!
581
00:29:30,730 --> 00:29:32,170
And your hair is so dry!
582
00:29:32,570 --> 00:29:34,050
Oh, and your titties dropped!
583
00:29:34,510 --> 00:29:35,230
So far!
584
00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,990
Other than that, you look the exact same!
585
00:29:38,470 --> 00:29:39,550
What have you been up to?
586
00:29:40,310 --> 00:29:45,130
Oh, you know, neglecting my children so I can prepare to kill a ghost fish should he ever return.
587
00:29:45,730 --> 00:29:46,630
What about you?
588
00:29:47,030 --> 00:29:52,070
Well, I've been mostly just getting half-school kids drunk in a desperate attempt to stay young and keep my kids at home.
589
00:29:52,070 --> 00:29:53,790
I always knew you'd be a great mom.
590
00:29:53,990 --> 00:29:55,170
Oh, Sandy!
591
00:29:55,610 --> 00:29:56,330
Should we hug?
592
00:29:56,550 --> 00:30:00,290
Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be racist.
593
00:30:00,550 --> 00:30:00,970
Oh, girl!
594
00:30:01,150 --> 00:30:02,910
I think all white people are racist anyway!
595
00:30:03,110 --> 00:30:03,550
Come here!
596
00:30:03,670 --> 00:30:03,990
Okay!
597
00:30:04,670 --> 00:30:05,070
Oh!
598
00:30:06,850 --> 00:30:07,690
You want me to shut up?
599
00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:08,290
Oh, yeah!
600
00:30:08,510 --> 00:30:08,650
Yeah!
601
00:30:09,630 --> 00:30:16,110
You know, Mom, this place could be so cool if you had like a beer pong table over there, maybe like a snack wall.
602
00:30:16,110 --> 00:30:17,150
What do you know about cool?
603
00:30:17,330 --> 00:30:22,990
When I was your age, I was popping bottles with Puffy, Puff Daddy, P Diddy, Diddy, all the shorts.
604
00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:25,230
That ain't as well.
605
00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:27,470
Your mama was the freak in the freak-offs.
606
00:30:27,650 --> 00:30:28,990
Oh, Chissa!
607
00:30:29,350 --> 00:30:30,430
You want to see something cool?
608
00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,090
I'ma show you something cool.
609
00:30:38,510 --> 00:30:41,150
God, that's cool.
610
00:30:41,490 --> 00:30:42,310
What are you doing?
611
00:30:42,310 --> 00:30:42,870
What?
612
00:30:43,350 --> 00:30:44,550
No, not like that.
613
00:30:45,290 --> 00:30:45,730
What?
614
00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:47,110
Oh, yeah!
615
00:30:47,610 --> 00:30:51,160
I don't want to even load it.
616
00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:52,160
Oh, shit!
617
00:30:52,620 --> 00:30:52,920
Ow!
618
00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:53,780
Shit!
619
00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:55,880
Uh-oh!
620
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:56,880
I did it again!
621
00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:02,120
I'm always looking at that last one in the chamber.
622
00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:03,080
Help me move the pot.
623
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:04,220
Yeah, I just got it.
624
00:31:04,540 --> 00:31:05,420
Yeah, that was fun.
625
00:31:06,060 --> 00:31:06,320
Oh!
626
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,040
So what did you do next to this?
627
00:31:08,220 --> 00:31:09,420
I don't want to go with Puffy.
628
00:31:09,940 --> 00:31:11,160
Oh, I love Puffy.
629
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:12,460
You know what?
630
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:16,000
I used to put cocaine in my Wuhan family all the time.
631
00:31:17,180 --> 00:31:17,580
Yeah.
632
00:31:26,410 --> 00:31:27,010
All right.
633
00:31:27,410 --> 00:31:28,530
Let's get back to the plot.
634
00:31:29,250 --> 00:31:30,630
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy.
635
00:31:30,850 --> 00:31:32,190
Looking like a school shooter.
636
00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:33,350
I think you the killer.
637
00:31:33,690 --> 00:31:34,090
Oh, me?
638
00:31:34,290 --> 00:31:34,430
Mm-hmm.
639
00:31:34,570 --> 00:31:36,430
Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there?
640
00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:37,730
I don't have a motor.
641
00:31:38,150 --> 00:31:38,870
You know, what's my motor?
642
00:31:39,350 --> 00:31:41,150
You were the killer in the first movie.
643
00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:42,830
Shouldn't you be locked up?
644
00:31:42,950 --> 00:31:44,370
No, I got pardoned.
645
00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:47,550
Mostly because of the stormy capital, you know?
646
00:31:47,790 --> 00:31:47,990
Oh.
647
00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:48,870
I got proof.
648
00:31:49,570 --> 00:31:50,130
It's in me.
649
00:31:50,550 --> 00:31:50,770
Oh.
650
00:31:50,930 --> 00:31:51,530
And it's framed.
651
00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:52,690
That's a cool head.
652
00:31:52,890 --> 00:31:54,870
What about Jess?
653
00:31:55,670 --> 00:31:56,570
What about me?
654
00:31:56,670 --> 00:31:59,810
If anybody here has issues that could lead to murder...
655
00:31:59,810 --> 00:32:00,090
Okay.
656
00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:00,670
Oh.
657
00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:02,970
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?
658
00:32:03,310 --> 00:32:04,470
Then he's just a dude.
659
00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:04,810
Yeah.
660
00:32:04,970 --> 00:32:08,010
Minus the upper body strength in the dick part.
661
00:32:08,290 --> 00:32:10,190
Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay?
662
00:32:10,190 --> 00:32:11,050
I do.
663
00:32:11,350 --> 00:32:12,070
Hey, hey.
664
00:32:12,410 --> 00:32:18,470
Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been attacked is related to the original characters.
665
00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:19,810
Who wants to kill the king?
666
00:32:20,030 --> 00:32:20,330
Aha!
667
00:32:20,670 --> 00:32:23,030
He's making a reboot-a-quel.
668
00:32:23,710 --> 00:32:24,630
A what now?
669
00:32:24,730 --> 00:32:24,870
Yup.
670
00:32:25,050 --> 00:32:26,570
It's like a reboot in a sequel.
671
00:32:26,730 --> 00:32:32,430
Mixing legacy characters with new characters in an attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia and
672
00:32:32,430 --> 00:32:33,670
bring more fans to the theaters.
673
00:32:33,870 --> 00:32:35,690
Just like last year's I Know What You Did Last Summer.
674
00:32:38,010 --> 00:32:38,770
That's a movie?
675
00:32:38,770 --> 00:32:40,230
What did I do last summer?
676
00:32:40,550 --> 00:32:42,770
I think you're talking about the summer and turned pretty.
677
00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:43,510
Ray!
678
00:32:43,870 --> 00:32:44,950
When did you get here?
679
00:32:45,230 --> 00:32:45,810
Oh, I've been here.
680
00:32:45,890 --> 00:32:46,930
I was just hanging out by the minimum.
681
00:32:47,770 --> 00:32:48,110
What?
682
00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:48,410
Oh.
683
00:32:48,670 --> 00:32:49,010
Mom?
684
00:32:49,610 --> 00:32:54,390
Okay, so that means that our killer is writing his own version of a horror movie.
685
00:32:54,650 --> 00:32:58,950
Okay, so according to the reboot-a-call rules, who's the killer?
686
00:33:00,390 --> 00:33:01,970
I think it's pretty obvious.
687
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:05,730
Him?
688
00:33:06,590 --> 00:33:07,410
You bitch.
689
00:33:07,690 --> 00:33:08,050
Me?
690
00:33:08,050 --> 00:33:10,210
Guys, I am not the killer.
691
00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:13,230
Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me back here.
692
00:33:13,430 --> 00:33:16,330
I think he attacked Tuesday to get you back here.
693
00:33:16,630 --> 00:33:18,670
So he could get me back here.
694
00:33:18,910 --> 00:33:20,990
He wants to kill the OGs.
695
00:33:21,270 --> 00:33:22,250
That was a flex.
696
00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:23,530
Yeah, that sounds weird.
697
00:33:23,730 --> 00:33:25,130
Oh, fuck this!
698
00:33:25,530 --> 00:33:27,330
And fuck you, mother!
699
00:33:27,810 --> 00:33:29,530
To your mother?
700
00:33:29,650 --> 00:33:30,050
Hey!
701
00:33:30,370 --> 00:33:32,270
Don't be so disrespectful!
702
00:33:33,090 --> 00:33:34,510
And call me mom!
703
00:33:34,890 --> 00:33:35,630
Or mommy!
704
00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:37,530
Or whatever is more comfortable!
705
00:33:37,970 --> 00:33:47,330
Or whatever is more comfortable!
706
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,340
Talk to me!
707
00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:00,720
Hello, Sheriff.
708
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,500
Ancient Underwood?
709
00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:04,320
I'll give you one hint.
710
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,760
What's your favorite scary movie?
711
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,020
Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.
712
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,940
I mean, the member on that English guy was terrifying.
713
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,800
And Ken Jeong's Junk in The Hangover was a much better depiction of the male anatomy.
714
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,860
And what do you want, front face?
715
00:34:19,180 --> 00:34:23,540
Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the time you get home, I'll have gutted your
716
00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:24,180
baby girl.
717
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:26,320
Hey, asshole.
718
00:34:26,620 --> 00:34:27,680
She's a boy!
719
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:37,520
Yes!
720
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,720
Looking for this?
721
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,220
Let me help you.
722
00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,400
I got your baby dick.
723
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,220
Winky, winky, winky, winky.
724
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,260
Alright, here we go.
725
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,200
What do you want, fuck face?
726
00:35:15,700 --> 00:35:18,640
Well, like father, like son.
727
00:35:19,820 --> 00:35:21,780
I understand you're home alone.
728
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:28,160
Dad's out, but the pool guy, the gardener, and the plumber are all here, asshole.
729
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,880
Look out your window.
730
00:35:34,660 --> 00:35:35,340
No!
731
00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:37,780
But they're the backbone of the American workforce.
732
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,360
And I'm too white to do those jobs.
733
00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:42,020
Let's cut to the chase.
734
00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:44,160
I'll ask you one question.
735
00:35:44,540 --> 00:35:47,120
If you answer correctly, you live.
736
00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:51,080
Who was the killer in horror movie?
737
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:51,800
Oh.
738
00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:52,840
That was easy.
739
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,760
It was Bobby and then Kay Ray.
740
00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:57,860
The guy who was totally into dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't.
741
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,720
Classic 2000s homophobia.
742
00:36:00,140 --> 00:36:01,460
But I got you, bitch.
743
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,080
Wrong!
744
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:02,320
Wrong!
745
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,680
You forgot Special Officer Doofy.
746
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,340
Now, you die.
747
00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:16,700
Oh, fuck that!
748
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,940
You should probably answer that.
749
00:36:21,140 --> 00:36:24,080
I can literally see you trying to steal my package.
750
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,480
Oh, shit!
751
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:28,940
That was easy.
752
00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,380
Someone order steaks.
753
00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:35,180
Let's go, Puff.
754
00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:39,140
Wait a sec.
755
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:39,860
Careful!
756
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,560
You wouldn't talk about any killer!
757
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,500
You are about to identify as gay!
758
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:54,040
You stand like a girl.
759
00:37:06,610 --> 00:37:09,510
This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.
760
00:37:09,650 --> 00:37:10,210
Rapid News.
761
00:37:10,310 --> 00:37:11,330
You mean VAPID News.
762
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,810
You don't even have a cameraman!
763
00:37:12,810 --> 00:37:13,430
But I am...
764
00:37:13,430 --> 00:37:14,190
My husband!
765
00:37:16,030 --> 00:37:16,830
Excuse me.
766
00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:20,030
Oh, my.
767
00:37:20,330 --> 00:37:20,890
You're...
768
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:21,570
Yes, yes.
769
00:37:22,090 --> 00:37:26,250
Three-time Emmy nominee for Outstanding Achievement and Sensational Reporting.
770
00:37:26,390 --> 00:37:29,250
I was gonna say the lady from Friends, but...
771
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:29,490
Shorter.
772
00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:30,650
Plus Botox.
773
00:37:30,850 --> 00:37:30,970
Oh.
774
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:32,830
Is that what you were gonna say?
775
00:37:32,970 --> 00:37:33,230
Yes.
776
00:37:33,230 --> 00:37:35,190
You seriously don't know who I am?
777
00:37:35,370 --> 00:37:35,970
Baby girl.
778
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:36,650
I am...
779
00:37:36,650 --> 00:37:37,270
Gail Swallow!
780
00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:38,450
Hey.
781
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:39,550
Gail Storm.
782
00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:41,530
Get the hell out of my way!
783
00:37:41,710 --> 00:37:41,750
Get off!
784
00:37:46,990 --> 00:37:47,490
Doofus?
785
00:37:47,970 --> 00:37:48,350
Hey.
786
00:37:48,970 --> 00:37:49,490
Gail.
787
00:37:49,490 --> 00:37:49,590
Ugh.
788
00:37:50,590 --> 00:37:50,810
Ugh.
789
00:37:51,770 --> 00:37:52,610
You have an age today.
790
00:37:53,530 --> 00:37:54,810
You've made it like a million days.
791
00:37:54,970 --> 00:37:55,550
That's this man.
792
00:37:55,770 --> 00:37:55,930
Fine.
793
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,290
Yeah, your fingers felt like genitals.
794
00:37:57,450 --> 00:37:57,770
Thank you.
795
00:37:57,830 --> 00:37:59,650
What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform?
796
00:38:00,130 --> 00:38:01,830
Uh, I'm back on the case.
797
00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:03,610
Yeah, I'm gonna bust a ghost face.
798
00:38:04,030 --> 00:38:07,590
Well, um, tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy.
799
00:38:08,930 --> 00:38:09,410
Um...
800
00:38:09,410 --> 00:38:09,690
Wow.
801
00:38:09,970 --> 00:38:13,810
Are there any suspects in this tragic, yet completely predictable incident?
802
00:38:14,010 --> 00:38:15,410
I could not let's say.
803
00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:17,370
No, no, no, no, no.
804
00:38:17,510 --> 00:38:18,150
Yes, you can.
805
00:38:18,270 --> 00:38:18,410
Yes, you can.
806
00:38:19,110 --> 00:38:19,230
Yeah.
807
00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:20,130
Oh, yeah.
808
00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:20,710
It's on me.
809
00:38:21,190 --> 00:38:22,190
Oh, my dad.
810
00:38:22,590 --> 00:38:22,810
Oh.
811
00:38:23,650 --> 00:38:24,130
Hey.
812
00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:27,270
Remember when you used to get blowjobs?
813
00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:28,590
Presensitive information.
814
00:38:28,990 --> 00:38:31,410
I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay?
815
00:38:31,570 --> 00:38:32,470
Not since me, too.
816
00:38:32,730 --> 00:38:33,070
Okay.
817
00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:33,770
Sorry.
818
00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:36,590
I give handjobs now, but the story better be good.
819
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:37,770
Okay, I'll do a good job.
820
00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:38,310
Let's do it.
821
00:38:38,470 --> 00:38:38,990
Let's do it.
822
00:38:39,310 --> 00:38:39,790
Let's do it.
823
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:51,150
What the?
824
00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:01,270
I'm gonna get you.
825
00:39:01,470 --> 00:39:02,550
Uncle Ray Ray's gonna get you.
826
00:39:02,610 --> 00:39:02,790
Ray?
827
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:04,470
He got my outfit, you little critter.
828
00:39:07,830 --> 00:39:09,790
And weed chewy, Leo.
829
00:39:12,610 --> 00:39:14,170
Fuck yeah, she'll.
830
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:17,490
Fuck yeah, she'll.
831
00:39:24,330 --> 00:39:26,110
Hello, shorty.
832
00:39:26,730 --> 00:39:29,530
You do know that smoking is bad for you?
833
00:39:29,530 --> 00:39:36,330
Well, actually, weed ain't bad for you. You got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and D.
834
00:39:37,150 --> 00:39:40,910
What's the matter, Shorty? You look a little antsy.
835
00:39:41,350 --> 00:39:46,230
Maybe because there's a masked serial killer sipping tea in my den.
836
00:39:46,490 --> 00:39:50,390
Shorty, you're my nigga. I mean, friend. Please, sit.
837
00:39:50,710 --> 00:39:56,600
Alrighty. Do you want to quit smoking?
838
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,400
Well, to be honest, I tried to quit. But my mother said,
839
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,220
I ain't raising no quitters. So I quit quitting.
840
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:05,660
We can try it now, sis.
841
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,520
Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try and wave in front of my face.
842
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,960
It ain't gonna work, son. You can't magnetize me.
843
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:19,080
Sleep back, Shorty.
844
00:40:21,740 --> 00:40:22,420
What's up?
845
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:25,460
Tell me about your mother.
846
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,160
Damn, nigga. Let's start with something light.
847
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,920
Like, do you lick ass? Yes or no? The answer's yes.
848
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,460
So what happened to her, Shorty?
849
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:40,140
She's coming home.
850
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,660
Her car was parked on the side of the road.
851
00:40:44,620 --> 00:40:45,620
Someone was in it.
852
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,440
And something bad was happening.
853
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,300
Why did you call anyone?
854
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,980
I couldn't. I had warrants.
855
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:58,300
You were 11?
856
00:40:58,780 --> 00:41:00,240
I started young, nigga.
857
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,360
Oh, what do you see?
858
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,820
I see a big explosion of water.
859
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,520
It was like a civil rights host.
860
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,400
Police said it was a murder-suicide.
861
00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:24,340
She killed that man.
862
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:28,060
When they opened the car door, his little body just slid out.
863
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,860
Like the green nigga in shape of water.
864
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,480
I just didn't want it to be real.
865
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,360
What don't you want to be real?
866
00:41:39,420 --> 00:41:41,440
And my mother was a squirter.
867
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:42,860
Okay.
868
00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:44,240
She was a squirter.
869
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:46,740
All the floors in her bedroom was warped.
870
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,080
I can't move.
871
00:41:48,580 --> 00:41:49,660
You're paralyzed.
872
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:54,100
Now, sink into the chair.
873
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,000
No, wait.
874
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:55,780
Sink.
875
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:42,910
And now she's again.
876
00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:43,290
We're dying.
877
00:42:43,290 --> 00:42:45,890
That was a kid.
878
00:42:46,650 --> 00:42:49,050
We're dying, nothing comes...
879
00:42:49,090 --> 00:42:49,230
After it goes...
880
00:42:49,230 --> 00:42:50,990
alchemy!
881
00:42:52,150 --> 00:42:52,810
confession,
882
00:42:52,810 --> 00:43:36,380
It's raining. Now I'm flying. Got them my cheeks. Don't need a reason to bang these demons. Now we're perfect at peace. We don't want to have fun. We're about to be joking. We're about to be joking. Oh, that dream was wild. I must have been Elon Musk.
883
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:42,600
Chucha Sheba?
884
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,000
Tuesday? Tuesday?
885
00:43:57,860 --> 00:43:58,540
Bobby?
886
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,180
Bobby, what the...
887
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,360
She's gonna die.
888
00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:12,060
Our daughter, Sarah? You're probably right. She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the cut.
889
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:13,540
I'm gonna die.
890
00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:22,280
Bobby, you're already dead. This hallucination is a manifestation of my own guilt for being an awful mom. Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.
891
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,220
You're gonna die!
892
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,200
Bitch! You ain't killing me!
893
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,700
You're gonna die.
894
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:38,200
Stop smiling!
895
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,220
I can't. Boattocks.
896
00:44:41,380 --> 00:44:41,780
Hey!
897
00:44:42,300 --> 00:44:46,340
This is the mental ward. Everyone smiles in here.
898
00:44:46,340 --> 00:44:46,780
What?
899
00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:48,140
Oh!
900
00:44:49,260 --> 00:44:49,700
Um...
901
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:53,680
Could you point me in the direction of the ICU? Is it that way or that way?
902
00:44:54,220 --> 00:44:55,380
Uh, visiting hours, Rover.
903
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:56,640
Oh, yes, of course.
904
00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:04,880
The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday has nothing to do with race. Well, just tell that to my black friends.
905
00:45:27,420 --> 00:45:28,780
Man, you ain't Micah.
906
00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:30,600
Micah got that Jerry curl.
907
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:31,920
What is that, son?
908
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,000
Is that shillac?
909
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,180
See, people think it's shillac, but it's action shopping.
910
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,820
All your head look like fondue.
911
00:45:38,060 --> 00:45:38,660
It's dirty.
912
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,940
Micah's got a monkey.
913
00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:41,080
I got a llama.
914
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:43,800
Fuck Micah.
915
00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:46,460
You can't dance, boy. I'll be practicing.
916
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:51,600
Yeah!
917
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,480
I can move on.
918
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,420
I can move on.
919
00:45:55,420 --> 00:46:00,220
What is this little dog?
920
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:01,820
Dude! Get down!
921
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:06,460
Jermaine.
922
00:46:09,060 --> 00:46:10,700
Coming Juneteenth.
923
00:46:11,150 --> 00:46:12,240
Only on TV.
924
00:46:15,060 --> 00:46:16,680
I'm a bootleg bastard.
925
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:19,700
Hello?
926
00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:22,540
Fuck this.
927
00:46:27,390 --> 00:46:28,890
I'm gonna miss you all.
928
00:46:34,550 --> 00:46:35,290
Oh, hell.
929
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:49,400
Echo!
930
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,440
God damn it!
931
00:46:51,540 --> 00:46:53,260
Jack, did Sarah tell you to come?
932
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:54,400
Um, yeah.
933
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,260
That's why I'm here.
934
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,720
Not to murder you or anything like that.
935
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:00,900
Then why are you wearing gloves?
936
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:07,440
Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up as O.J. Simpson for Halloween?
937
00:47:07,900 --> 00:47:08,480
But those fit.
938
00:47:09,980 --> 00:47:10,360
No!
939
00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:13,140
Yaku, bro, you almost can't fit!
940
00:47:13,460 --> 00:47:14,580
I mean, no!
941
00:47:14,580 --> 00:47:14,620
No!
942
00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:15,400
Bitch!
943
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,820
I'm gonna get you like a pig!
944
00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:57,640
I'm gonna get you like a pig!
945
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:01,080
Wait until I stick my knife at him.
946
00:48:02,620 --> 00:48:09,620
Over here!
947
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,320
I gotta go!
948
00:48:11,540 --> 00:48:12,880
Before you go, kill me!
949
00:48:12,980 --> 00:48:13,780
You hit him!
950
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,180
Oh, my God!
951
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:16,240
I lost his purse!
952
00:48:20,210 --> 00:48:20,950
I'm gonna kill him!
953
00:48:44,690 --> 00:48:45,250
The End
954
00:48:46,570 --> 00:48:48,170
I'm gonna turn you in the beat!
955
00:48:55,450 --> 00:48:56,950
No! No!
956
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,420
Excuse me, I'm a man. Step aside.
957
00:49:04,700 --> 00:49:06,800
Can you please take me? Doofy!
958
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:08,980
You like doing that?
959
00:49:10,060 --> 00:49:10,240
Move!
960
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:13,320
Smile, you son of a bitch.
961
00:49:14,340 --> 00:49:15,140
What the?
962
00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:18,980
My psycho mother said, ALWAYS KEEP US STRAPED!
963
00:49:20,660 --> 00:49:21,760
Go! Go!
964
00:49:21,940 --> 00:49:24,400
I'm gonna go keep your mother in here. I'll keep your mother in here.
965
00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:25,060
Ow! Ow!
966
00:49:25,540 --> 00:49:27,720
That's the pain! The agony!
967
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,620
Sarah, if I don't make it...
968
00:49:30,620 --> 00:49:33,060
Seriously, can you stop trying to win an Oscar?
969
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,900
It's a horror movie. It'll never happen.
970
00:49:35,540 --> 00:49:36,740
Just ask to me more.
971
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,020
No! No! No!
972
00:49:40,020 --> 00:49:41,680
Get out of here, Chad!
973
00:49:43,900 --> 00:49:46,000
What the fuck?!
974
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:47,900
I'm gonna get out of myself.
975
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,280
Me and you now, Ghosty.
976
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,340
You gotta shield me.
977
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,080
Shield me.
978
00:50:00,740 --> 00:50:01,580
Ah!
979
00:50:03,020 --> 00:50:03,580
Ah!
980
00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:11,180
Ah!
981
00:50:11,460 --> 00:50:11,880
Smell!
982
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,040
My finger!
983
00:50:16,140 --> 00:50:16,860
Ow!
984
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:17,320
God!
985
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,220
What the fuck is that?!
986
00:50:20,540 --> 00:50:21,980
My ass!
987
00:50:22,340 --> 00:50:24,340
Fuck your ass, whore!
988
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:25,100
Oh, Jack!
989
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,360
That's my ass!
990
00:50:29,060 --> 00:50:30,440
Any last words?
991
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,160
I go pooping!
992
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:39,260
Oh, hell no!
993
00:50:39,420 --> 00:50:40,680
I ain't cleaning up that shit!
994
00:50:41,180 --> 00:50:42,180
I'm on break!
995
00:50:42,420 --> 00:50:42,940
Come on!
996
00:50:43,220 --> 00:50:44,860
I need to kill it, not the queen!
997
00:50:45,660 --> 00:50:46,340
Watch yourself!
998
00:50:48,340 --> 00:50:49,660
Yo, what's up, Jack?
999
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:50,920
It's your boy Shorty.
1000
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:51,340
That's right.
1001
00:50:51,460 --> 00:50:52,720
It's another Halloween-a-thon.
1002
00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:58,220
And that's another day of me getting paid mad money for doing absolutely nothing!
1003
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,220
Why you stupid motherfuckers watching?
1004
00:51:01,020 --> 00:51:02,280
Hey, they call me Doug!
1005
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:08,600
I want to give a smooth shout-out to my sponsor, Angry Orchard Hard Sider.
1006
00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:12,100
They got mad apples, son.
1007
00:51:14,140 --> 00:51:14,580
No!
1008
00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:15,800
Oh!
1009
00:51:15,860 --> 00:51:17,100
We created this right in here!
1010
00:51:17,460 --> 00:51:18,460
We're marketing genius!
1011
00:51:18,780 --> 00:51:19,000
Alright.
1012
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,760
We wouldn't be a Halloween-a-thon without a dope guest.
1013
00:51:21,860 --> 00:51:23,260
He's a legend in the streaming game.
1014
00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:23,880
Give it up!
1015
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,220
For Kyle...
1016
00:51:25,220 --> 00:51:25,720
...SAMARY!
1017
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:34,300
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1018
00:51:35,220 --> 00:51:36,160
Let's get serious.
1019
00:51:36,380 --> 00:51:37,440
What brings you to check?
1020
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:39,840
Your proxies don't need a movie.
1021
00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:41,920
I've been calling you, you're close to me.
1022
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:47,460
Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy ass baby mamas. That's-that's my band.
1023
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaking of ghosting... Somebody wants to talk to you.
1024
00:51:52,220 --> 00:51:52,700
Hello?
1025
00:51:53,020 --> 00:51:55,120
What's your favorite scary movie?
1026
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,280
What's up, my guy?
1027
00:52:11,580 --> 00:52:13,460
You got some angry slides on your ass.
1028
00:52:13,460 --> 00:52:14,020
It was right.
1029
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,780
They got bad apples.
1030
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:18,920
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
1031
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:25,180
No! I'm about to do my favorite thing.
1032
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,920
Spin the wheel!
1033
00:52:29,460 --> 00:52:30,780
Do you do it again?
1034
00:52:31,460 --> 00:52:35,280
We gonna go back there with these noodles and we gonna smack the fuck out you.
1035
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:36,620
I mean, you gotta guess who did it.
1036
00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:39,760
That doesn't mean big sex. This is a dumb game.
1037
00:52:44,300 --> 00:52:45,220
Cut me!
1038
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:50,680
Agh!
1039
00:52:57,720 --> 00:52:59,520
You just killed Cassinet!
1040
00:53:00,180 --> 00:53:01,160
On the chick!
1041
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,440
We making history, Slag!
1042
00:53:41,070 --> 00:53:43,150
So that's our suspect.
1043
00:53:43,530 --> 00:53:44,570
So that's our suspect.
1044
00:53:44,570 --> 00:53:49,890
Shorthand, was the handyman that a house refuted to be haunted in 2001.
1045
00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:52,710
Is there anything you're not telling me?
1046
00:53:53,090 --> 00:53:59,230
Did your wife hate you? You believe the earth is flat, and you voted for Trump. Three times.
1047
00:53:59,370 --> 00:54:01,850
Now what, I suppose to vote for the woman? Huh?
1048
00:54:02,590 --> 00:54:05,930
I believe Shorthand is the notorious ghost face.
1049
00:54:07,810 --> 00:54:08,890
What'd that mouth do?
1050
00:54:11,770 --> 00:54:13,670
You did look pretty sketchy.
1051
00:54:17,270 --> 00:54:18,750
I got the wrong guy.
1052
00:54:19,570 --> 00:54:21,230
And you know that because you're psychic?
1053
00:54:21,670 --> 00:54:23,510
No. So sorry to the restaurant.
1054
00:54:25,630 --> 00:54:26,650
I don't know.
1055
00:54:27,370 --> 00:54:28,410
That guy's black.
1056
00:54:28,810 --> 00:54:32,710
He's kinda... not that black. Like gravy brown.
1057
00:54:35,950 --> 00:54:37,730
Hit him with your strong hand!
1058
00:54:39,510 --> 00:54:40,550
Arrest him anyways.
1059
00:54:40,950 --> 00:54:42,150
Oh, I did something, right?
1060
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:44,550
Turn up your body cam!
1061
00:54:45,810 --> 00:54:47,730
This hailstorm welcome back.
1062
00:54:48,010 --> 00:54:50,890
Doc, I'm begging you. You gotta help me look younger.
1063
00:54:51,170 --> 00:54:52,690
These little bitches are killing me out there.
1064
00:54:52,770 --> 00:54:55,590
They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a ring light.
1065
00:54:55,850 --> 00:55:02,150
Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age-ravaged body, and I will make you whole.
1066
00:55:02,150 --> 00:55:04,730
One middle-aged white lady special coming right up.
1067
00:55:04,910 --> 00:55:05,270
Thanks.
1068
00:55:05,650 --> 00:55:09,410
I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins and outs of the procedure and then we'll get started.
1069
00:55:13,110 --> 00:55:15,770
Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?
1070
00:55:16,490 --> 00:55:20,870
Do you wish you were younger, sexier, fuckable again?
1071
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:26,850
One single injection unlocks your DNA, creating a new, better you.
1072
00:55:28,870 --> 00:55:30,550
This is the stuff.
1073
00:55:31,850 --> 00:55:36,230
Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow crap that makes you smell like a badge, is it?
1074
00:55:40,530 --> 00:55:41,470
I like it.
1075
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,180
That's a lot of stuff.
1076
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,480
Ooh, a mask on a mask.
1077
00:56:03,180 --> 00:56:04,620
Safety first, right, huh?
1078
00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:06,140
Oh!
1079
00:56:06,620 --> 00:56:07,180
Oh!
1080
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:08,240
Oh no!
1081
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:09,040
Oh!
1082
00:56:10,220 --> 00:56:10,580
Oh!
1083
00:56:10,580 --> 00:56:11,780
I got a second thought!
1084
00:56:11,980 --> 00:56:14,380
I'm gonna love and accept myself as I am!
1085
00:56:14,940 --> 00:56:15,500
Ah!
1086
00:57:16,970 --> 00:57:17,710
Oops!
1087
00:57:18,070 --> 00:57:18,930
Wrong movie!
1088
00:57:20,950 --> 00:57:22,510
You were thinking it!
1089
00:57:22,590 --> 00:57:23,530
But you said it!
1090
00:57:24,950 --> 00:57:26,890
White chicks to my ass!
1091
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,340
Hey, Sarah!
1092
00:57:37,900 --> 00:57:41,180
Tuesday, I tried to visit you.
1093
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,600
I am sorry for everything.
1094
00:57:44,100 --> 00:57:45,440
Especially your name.
1095
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:47,360
It was Taco Tuesday.
1096
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,600
I was super drunk.
1097
00:57:48,820 --> 00:57:51,500
But I promise you, I will kill this motherfucker!
1098
00:57:52,140 --> 00:57:52,760
It's fine, really.
1099
00:57:52,940 --> 00:57:53,140
We're cool.
1100
00:57:53,260 --> 00:57:53,580
Enough!
1101
00:57:53,900 --> 00:57:54,620
Forgetting the car.
1102
00:57:54,860 --> 00:57:57,040
I'm going to take you to the car!
1103
00:57:57,260 --> 00:57:57,440
Oh my God!
1104
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:58,480
Get out of my death!
1105
00:57:58,740 --> 00:57:59,180
Dumbass!
1106
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:01,820
I'm taking Chews away from all of this!
1107
00:58:02,540 --> 00:58:02,980
Okay.
1108
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:04,160
I'll be worth it.
1109
00:58:04,860 --> 00:58:08,640
I tried to run too, but it follows!
1110
00:58:09,620 --> 00:58:13,660
Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie, but it's too obscure.
1111
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:14,980
Yeah, and the party's weird.
1112
00:58:15,060 --> 00:58:19,060
You have sex with someone, give them an STD, and then they haunt them in the form of a naked
1113
00:58:19,060 --> 00:58:19,580
grandma!
1114
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:21,140
It's like an STD biopic!
1115
00:58:21,500 --> 00:58:23,280
The killer is taunting me!
1116
00:58:23,420 --> 00:58:24,820
Why didn't he just kill us?
1117
00:58:24,820 --> 00:58:25,140
What?
1118
00:58:25,140 --> 00:58:26,140
Speak for yourself!
1119
00:58:26,580 --> 00:58:27,920
Like, what are you waiting for?
1120
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,060
Oh, no, no, no.
1121
00:58:29,180 --> 00:58:29,580
Sweetie.
1122
00:58:29,660 --> 00:58:29,960
Sweetie.
1123
00:58:30,020 --> 00:58:30,640
It's like this.
1124
00:58:32,420 --> 00:58:34,860
What are you waiting for, huh?
1125
00:58:35,900 --> 00:58:38,180
What are you waiting for?
1126
00:58:38,660 --> 00:58:43,620
What are you waiting for?
1127
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:44,080
What are you waiting for?
1128
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,380
I wish you weren't my mother!
1129
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,060
What are you waiting for?
1130
00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,060
Candyman.
1131
00:58:51,260 --> 00:58:51,820
Candyman.
1132
00:58:53,380 --> 00:58:53,940
Candyman.
1133
00:58:54,700 --> 00:58:55,920
You sure about this?
1134
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,180
Yeah, keep saying it.
1135
00:58:59,140 --> 00:58:59,840
Candyman?
1136
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:02,340
Candyman!
1137
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:22,290
So what's up, you got that Candyman?
1138
00:59:23,130 --> 00:59:24,070
I got...
1139
00:59:24,070 --> 00:59:25,810
Weed guns...
1140
00:59:25,810 --> 00:59:26,730
K-nuts...
1141
00:59:26,730 --> 00:59:26,890
Yeah!
1142
00:59:27,430 --> 00:59:28,050
Shroom chimes!
1143
00:59:29,130 --> 00:59:31,130
And what takes you so long to show up?
1144
00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:32,230
Come on Clarence!
1145
00:59:32,330 --> 00:59:34,450
I called you five times, nigger!
1146
00:59:34,450 --> 00:59:35,610
Show up in three!
1147
00:59:35,770 --> 00:59:37,470
You ain't even call me on the phone!
1148
00:59:37,990 --> 00:59:40,990
Lucky I was walking by and heard y'all through the hole of this wall!
1149
00:59:41,310 --> 00:59:42,110
Fix that shit!
1150
00:59:42,270 --> 00:59:43,370
You shut your ass up!
1151
00:59:43,570 --> 00:59:46,890
You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin looked at!
1152
00:59:47,070 --> 00:59:49,970
Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work!
1153
00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:51,430
I look better than this nigger!
1154
00:59:51,670 --> 00:59:52,490
Maybe on this side!
1155
00:59:52,570 --> 00:59:53,550
Hey, ain't no time for beating!
1156
00:59:53,630 --> 00:59:54,950
We about to be high as fuck!
1157
00:59:55,130 --> 00:59:56,270
We gon' party, son!
1158
00:59:56,610 --> 00:59:57,010
AHHHHH!
1159
01:00:00,170 --> 01:00:01,530
Lucky on the beat, y'all!
1160
01:00:01,870 --> 01:00:03,130
Watch out for your face!
1161
01:00:03,130 --> 01:00:04,110
That's right!
1162
01:00:04,270 --> 01:00:04,750
Thank you!
1163
01:00:05,750 --> 01:00:06,270
Hey!
1164
01:00:06,890 --> 01:00:07,790
I love it!
1165
01:00:07,910 --> 01:00:08,570
Look at that!
1166
01:00:09,030 --> 01:00:09,870
You look so good!
1167
01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:11,310
You seen your sister?
1168
01:00:13,930 --> 01:00:14,490
Ray!
1169
01:00:14,730 --> 01:00:15,570
You seen Gay?
1170
01:00:15,870 --> 01:00:18,470
I-I-I can't find her since she went to that protest!
1171
01:00:19,050 --> 01:00:19,310
No!
1172
01:00:19,990 --> 01:00:20,270
No!
1173
01:00:21,630 --> 01:00:22,910
Ray, let me guess!
1174
01:00:23,330 --> 01:00:25,390
You are Woody from Toy Story!
1175
01:00:25,390 --> 01:00:25,970
Nah!
1176
01:00:26,190 --> 01:00:26,990
Brenda, that's gay!
1177
01:00:27,730 --> 01:00:29,850
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain!
1178
01:00:30,470 --> 01:00:33,450
I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't!
1179
01:00:35,010 --> 01:00:36,750
You love that movie!
1180
01:00:37,410 --> 01:00:38,110
Hey, Brenda!
1181
01:00:39,210 --> 01:00:41,150
Have you seen my big old bag of candy?
1182
01:00:41,410 --> 01:00:44,270
It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops!
1183
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:45,790
It's gonna miss it!
1184
01:00:45,870 --> 01:00:46,370
No, no, no!
1185
01:00:46,610 --> 01:00:47,230
It's not missing!
1186
01:00:47,230 --> 01:00:48,730
Why can't I pass it out to the trick or treaters?
1187
01:00:49,230 --> 01:00:49,790
Brenda!
1188
01:00:50,330 --> 01:00:51,450
That's mustache!
1189
01:02:00,380 --> 01:02:01,960
Why is she looking at you?
1190
01:02:04,700 --> 01:02:08,880
A little to stop you from here for a minute!
1191
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,140
Do you know how many baby seals die from microplastics?
1192
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:45,700
It's not her!
1193
01:02:47,810 --> 01:02:48,690
My pronouns!
1194
01:02:48,990 --> 01:02:49,570
Are they them?
1195
01:02:49,850 --> 01:02:50,490
He's them!
1196
01:02:50,850 --> 01:02:50,970
Them!
1197
01:02:51,230 --> 01:02:52,070
I'm over 40!
1198
01:02:52,330 --> 01:02:54,070
How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?
1199
01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:55,390
She's not wrong!
1200
01:02:55,710 --> 01:03:00,870
It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy going with their knees on our necks!
1201
01:03:00,870 --> 01:03:03,190
Now they're playing the race card?
1202
01:03:03,410 --> 01:03:04,910
I had enough of her shit!
1203
01:03:05,010 --> 01:03:05,970
Say a shit, bitch!
1204
01:03:08,730 --> 01:03:11,890
And to be clear, my real name is...
1205
01:03:12,670 --> 01:03:13,270
Karens!
1206
01:03:13,350 --> 01:03:14,110
Oh shit!
1207
01:03:14,310 --> 01:03:15,110
This is too good!
1208
01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:16,390
Ignore the insults!
1209
01:03:16,790 --> 01:03:19,090
They don't realize we're here to help them!
1210
01:03:19,390 --> 01:03:23,750
Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help anybody!
1211
01:03:24,030 --> 01:03:25,710
How's my masculinity toxic?
1212
01:03:26,230 --> 01:03:27,690
I love women and sports!
1213
01:03:28,090 --> 01:03:29,190
Just not together!
1214
01:03:29,490 --> 01:03:30,090
Come here, bitch!
1215
01:03:31,430 --> 01:03:32,910
I've got to be next!
1216
01:03:33,130 --> 01:03:34,250
We ain't ready for this!
1217
01:03:34,490 --> 01:03:35,610
We have to be next!
1218
01:03:35,950 --> 01:03:36,190
Move!
1219
01:03:36,870 --> 01:03:37,930
I'm so sorry!
1220
01:03:39,230 --> 01:03:40,190
I'm so sorry!
1221
01:03:41,930 --> 01:03:43,410
I'm going mad as fear!
1222
01:03:48,530 --> 01:03:49,450
Uncle Shorty?
1223
01:03:49,650 --> 01:03:50,290
What's up, nephew?
1224
01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:51,990
Can I ask you something?
1225
01:03:53,050 --> 01:03:53,770
Yeah, sure!
1226
01:03:55,230 --> 01:03:58,870
It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl.
1227
01:03:59,790 --> 01:04:00,990
You talking about eating pussy?
1228
01:04:02,010 --> 01:04:02,450
It's...
1229
01:04:02,450 --> 01:04:03,950
It's so cringe, but yeah.
1230
01:04:04,230 --> 01:04:08,210
So maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old white girl, you can learn something.
1231
01:04:08,670 --> 01:04:09,950
Alright, so listen up.
1232
01:04:09,950 --> 01:04:12,630
First thing you got to do, you got to spread it to me.
1233
01:04:12,790 --> 01:04:13,650
You got to open it up.
1234
01:04:14,010 --> 01:04:15,070
And you want to use your fingers.
1235
01:04:15,610 --> 01:04:16,710
Sometimes you can use two.
1236
01:04:17,030 --> 01:04:18,450
Two fingers, like that there.
1237
01:04:18,810 --> 01:04:18,930
Right?
1238
01:04:19,450 --> 01:04:23,690
Now once you get it all in there now, you got to use your tongue.
1239
01:04:23,690 --> 01:04:24,910
You can't be afraid.
1240
01:04:25,150 --> 01:04:26,030
No, I don't know.
1241
01:04:26,270 --> 01:04:28,770
No, no, no.
1242
01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:29,830
You ain't lean into it.
1243
01:04:30,450 --> 01:04:30,930
No, no, no.
1244
01:04:30,970 --> 01:04:31,790
You doing it too fast.
1245
01:04:31,930 --> 01:04:33,430
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1246
01:04:33,610 --> 01:04:34,070
What, you a lizard?
1247
01:04:34,670 --> 01:04:36,530
You got to be gentle, you got to talk to a...
1248
01:04:36,530 --> 01:04:38,050
Hey there little guy.
1249
01:04:38,470 --> 01:04:39,350
How are you doing?
1250
01:04:40,770 --> 01:04:41,170
Boom!
1251
01:04:41,850 --> 01:04:43,170
It's like running the blunt.
1252
01:04:43,650 --> 01:04:45,690
All you gotta do, nephew, just...
1253
01:04:48,410 --> 01:04:56,810
Soothe that shit. Got it. Before learning to lick ass, that's your mama.
1254
01:04:58,410 --> 01:05:04,910
Oh, you feel so good. Oh, yeah.
1255
01:05:05,590 --> 01:05:10,630
Well, I want to try something. I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.
1256
01:05:10,870 --> 01:05:15,190
What? No. Relax. I just want to taste you.
1257
01:05:15,190 --> 01:05:24,310
Oh, okay. Dinner time. Oh, yeah. Come here, baby.
1258
01:05:25,830 --> 01:05:29,870
Oh, careful. My kid is gangster.
1259
01:05:30,290 --> 01:05:34,050
Oh, it is gangster. Okay.
1260
01:05:34,330 --> 01:05:36,830
What's up? You already want some more? Yeah.
1261
01:06:00,270 --> 01:06:02,070
Just like rolling the blood.
1262
01:06:13,150 --> 01:06:29,930
What the fuck? Hey there, we heard tale of a Halloween party. You didn't now, did you? We're here to drink, play bad music, do some half-gay shit! Watch us half-gay. Can I help you? If you just invite us in. Why do you need an invitation?
1263
01:06:29,930 --> 01:06:34,610
Wife folks show up to parties and invite her all the time with their little nasty-ass casseroles.
1264
01:06:34,730 --> 01:06:36,910
Bland as shit. Y'all better stop using some louty.
1265
01:06:37,490 --> 01:06:43,510
And why she got them dirty-ass feet? Look like you was walking around porn sets all day. Got them trailer-block toes.
1266
01:06:44,970 --> 01:06:47,790
I think you're in the wrong place. Y'all playing?
1267
01:06:49,330 --> 01:06:53,890
No. We believe in music and quality. How about we show y'all?
1268
01:06:54,050 --> 01:06:54,830
It's okay now.
1269
01:06:55,790 --> 01:07:08,510
Well, we're moving on up to the east side. To a deluxe apartment in the sky high. We're moving on up.
1270
01:07:08,630 --> 01:07:10,650
They gentrified the Jeffersons?
1271
01:07:10,810 --> 01:07:15,370
Wheezy's rolling around in her grave right now. Can't do this to the Black National Anthem.
1272
01:07:23,340 --> 01:07:23,740
Boo!
1273
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,540
Nigga, you suck! Boo your ass!
1274
01:07:27,020 --> 01:07:29,320
Get that bullshit out of here!
1275
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:33,600
Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat parties, where they drink until they black out,
1276
01:07:33,780 --> 01:07:37,440
and wake up with their booties hurting, not knowing what someone in the cowboy hat did to them.
1277
01:07:37,500 --> 01:07:38,280
Yeah, what?
1278
01:07:39,700 --> 01:07:45,700
Okay, well, we will leave you guys alone, but we're gonna walk real slow just in case y'all change your lights.
1279
01:07:48,380 --> 01:07:49,480
Change your minds yet?
1280
01:07:49,620 --> 01:07:49,880
No!
1281
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:50,960
Hell no!
1282
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:52,600
How about now?
1283
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:53,520
Fuck no!
1284
01:07:53,780 --> 01:07:53,940
No!
1285
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:54,880
Yes?
1286
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:55,640
Hell no!
1287
01:07:55,900 --> 01:07:56,740
Keep walking!
1288
01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:57,460
Now get!
1289
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:58,300
Let's go, let's go!
1290
01:07:58,380 --> 01:07:58,960
Sarah, come on!
1291
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:00,100
White folks is getting weird.
1292
01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:05,980
Guys, I think I saw an open window over here.
1293
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:07,100
That window's close.
1294
01:08:07,100 --> 01:08:08,120
Not for long.
1295
01:08:08,700 --> 01:08:13,520
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
1296
01:08:14,620 --> 01:08:15,540
Wicked!
1297
01:08:16,280 --> 01:08:17,480
Oh god, fucking idiots.
1298
01:08:24,020 --> 01:08:28,460
Hey! Tuesday! You came back!
1299
01:08:28,460 --> 01:08:34,000
Yeah, I left my inhaler. Honestly, Tuesday, I thought inhaler is the worst plot device in every history.
1300
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:38,400
That's true. Should have been in vain. But we're here now, so let's make the most of it.
1301
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,020
Now where's the point closer?
1302
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:45,720
Sarah?
1303
01:08:46,580 --> 01:08:50,560
Hello. Get your sister and get out of there right now. Okay, hon?
1304
01:08:50,820 --> 01:08:52,300
I am a grown-ass woman.
1305
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:55,580
Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to do.
1306
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:59,900
That's the house where your psychopath killed those people. Someone wanted to get in there.
1307
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:04,360
Which means... someone wants to get me there.
1308
01:09:04,660 --> 01:09:06,680
Oh my god, this isn't about you!
1309
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:10,300
Why are you gonna let the camera so fucking far away?
1310
01:09:10,860 --> 01:09:13,540
Wait, hold on. Are you tracking my phone?
1311
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:16,360
Shh, you're breaking up. Yeah, shh.
1312
01:09:22,460 --> 01:09:23,700
Happy birthday!
1313
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:31,800
What the fuck?
1314
01:09:32,580 --> 01:09:33,040
Help!
1315
01:09:34,500 --> 01:09:35,400
I'm sorry!
1316
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,920
I thought I was supposed to smoke it!
1317
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:39,960
Oh, shit!
1318
01:09:44,320 --> 01:09:46,640
Seriously? With the 12 Years of Slave shit?
1319
01:09:46,860 --> 01:09:49,320
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't see that movie, okay?
1320
01:09:49,940 --> 01:09:51,360
I just got on this thing in the shed.
1321
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:52,080
Jeez.
1322
01:09:58,210 --> 01:10:01,270
Come on, bro! That's even worse!
1323
01:10:02,450 --> 01:10:04,430
Ugh, I didn't mean it that way.
1324
01:10:04,810 --> 01:10:06,490
Some of my best victims are black.
1325
01:10:10,010 --> 01:10:13,310
And another brother falls victim to gun violence.
1326
01:10:13,650 --> 01:10:15,990
Turns out race is still an issue.
1327
01:10:15,990 --> 01:10:17,270
That's not fair.
1328
01:10:17,790 --> 01:10:19,890
You know, black guys usually die first in horror movies.
1329
01:10:23,750 --> 01:10:24,030
Yeah!
1330
01:10:24,790 --> 01:10:27,450
Just give a whole new meaning to Dead by Daylight.
1331
01:10:27,770 --> 01:10:27,890
Ah!
1332
01:10:28,530 --> 01:10:28,790
Yeah.
1333
01:10:29,950 --> 01:10:30,130
Ah.
1334
01:10:30,990 --> 01:10:31,550
Goofy.
1335
01:10:32,870 --> 01:10:34,190
Goofy ass out here.
1336
01:10:38,190 --> 01:10:39,310
Hello, shorty.
1337
01:10:40,750 --> 01:10:41,870
Get him in here!
1338
01:10:41,870 --> 01:10:42,770
Ah!
1339
01:10:42,950 --> 01:10:43,130
Ah!
1340
01:10:43,550 --> 01:10:45,130
Shut the silly ass!
1341
01:10:45,310 --> 01:10:46,510
You're about to be high.
1342
01:10:46,910 --> 01:10:47,470
Fuck!
1343
01:10:50,150 --> 01:10:50,710
Fuck!
1344
01:10:51,470 --> 01:10:54,210
What are you doing, son?
1345
01:10:56,450 --> 01:10:59,250
Bro, why are you running backwards, son?
1346
01:10:59,370 --> 01:11:00,690
Oh, no, it's not me!
1347
01:11:01,050 --> 01:11:01,630
Something's wrong with you.
1348
01:11:01,650 --> 01:11:03,470
You're on the motor's upside down!
1349
01:11:03,790 --> 01:11:05,030
You're fucking high, son!
1350
01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:07,250
Game off, bitchy!
1351
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:08,250
Oh, no, no!
1352
01:11:09,230 --> 01:11:09,290
Oh, no, no!
1353
01:11:10,210 --> 01:11:10,370
Oh, no, no, no!
1354
01:11:11,370 --> 01:11:13,250
Oh, no, no!
1355
01:11:13,250 --> 01:11:13,830
Oh, no, no!
1356
01:11:13,990 --> 01:11:14,810
Oh, no!
1357
01:11:14,870 --> 01:11:15,190
Oh, no!
1358
01:11:15,190 --> 01:11:15,850
Black lives matter!
1359
01:11:16,010 --> 01:11:17,130
It's not you, shorty!
1360
01:11:17,370 --> 01:11:18,190
Oh, my...
1361
01:11:18,190 --> 01:11:18,930
I need you!
1362
01:11:19,010 --> 01:11:19,730
What's going on?
1363
01:11:19,910 --> 01:11:20,170
Oh, tap!
1364
01:11:20,590 --> 01:11:22,270
Oh, thank God you're here.
1365
01:11:22,450 --> 01:11:23,010
Where are you?
1366
01:11:23,430 --> 01:11:25,010
Gooseface was just here!
1367
01:11:25,190 --> 01:11:27,630
I was just outside getting some fresh hair.
1368
01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:28,110
Stop!
1369
01:11:29,410 --> 01:11:31,570
Bloody you is the killer.
1370
01:11:32,530 --> 01:11:33,050
Elle?
1371
01:11:33,970 --> 01:11:35,870
Why do you have blood on your hands?
1372
01:11:37,530 --> 01:11:38,210
I...
1373
01:11:38,210 --> 01:11:38,890
I...
1374
01:11:38,890 --> 01:11:40,030
I found Brad outside.
1375
01:11:40,390 --> 01:11:41,450
She's the killer!
1376
01:11:41,790 --> 01:11:43,870
I am NOT the killer.
1377
01:11:44,070 --> 01:11:45,770
I'm not even sex positive.
1378
01:11:46,090 --> 01:11:46,890
I'm a virgin.
1379
01:11:47,370 --> 01:11:47,990
No way.
1380
01:11:48,390 --> 01:11:49,770
You're being like every dude in Woodsville.
1381
01:11:50,290 --> 01:11:51,030
Fuck you!
1382
01:11:53,390 --> 01:11:54,990
The butt doesn't count.
1383
01:11:58,090 --> 01:11:59,550
Shit, she said it!
1384
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:02,750
Welcome to Act 3, bitches.
1385
01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:05,390
What?
1386
01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:08,230
What does that even mean?
1387
01:12:09,870 --> 01:12:10,350
It's...
1388
01:12:10,350 --> 01:12:11,510
When the shit goes down.
1389
01:12:11,970 --> 01:12:12,450
Oh.
1390
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:16,230
I still don't really know what she means, but I think we should ROOOOOOS!
1391
01:12:17,270 --> 01:12:17,710
ROOOOOOS!
1392
01:12:18,510 --> 01:12:18,950
ROOOOOOS!
1393
01:12:19,030 --> 01:12:19,150
ROOOOOOS!
1394
01:12:23,730 --> 01:12:24,210
ROOOOOOS!
1395
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:35,220
RINDER!
1396
01:12:35,580 --> 01:12:36,540
I'm a virgin.
1397
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:43,080
I'm a virgin!
1398
01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:43,720
I'm a virgin!
1399
01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:44,440
You're gonna need this.
1400
01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:46,720
Do you have one bigger in black?
1401
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:48,000
Oh, right.
1402
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:48,480
Big.
1403
01:12:49,940 --> 01:12:51,840
Oh, who are you?
1404
01:12:51,980 --> 01:12:52,580
John Wick?
1405
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,280
I would've said ballerina, but nobody saw that shit.
1406
01:12:55,980 --> 01:12:56,960
Let's do this.
1407
01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:58,240
Oh, okay.
1408
01:12:59,080 --> 01:13:06,580
No! Tell me! I definitely don't think I can believe that!
1409
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:12,080
What do you think? I think Drake lost to Kendrick. I still like Drake.
1410
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:15,380
Well, what was up with that love suit? That's such a bitch-ass move.
1411
01:13:15,700 --> 01:13:17,240
About this situation...
1412
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:21,460
Oh, that's definitely a trap. She don't know what we are today, doesn't it?
1413
01:13:22,420 --> 01:13:23,620
Oh, Brenda!
1414
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:25,940
Oh!
1415
01:13:26,300 --> 01:13:26,800
Cindy!
1416
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:28,120
Hey!
1417
01:13:30,700 --> 01:13:31,260
Megan!
1418
01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:31,820
Hi, Daddy!
1419
01:13:32,260 --> 01:13:33,000
Oh, God, Cindy!
1420
01:13:33,860 --> 01:13:34,180
Oh!
1421
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:37,240
Oh, bitch! I'm not here yet!
1422
01:13:37,960 --> 01:13:39,220
Oh, my bad.
1423
01:13:39,500 --> 01:13:39,660
I'm sorry.
1424
01:13:39,860 --> 01:13:41,160
Now you go back in there.
1425
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:42,920
Finish it.
1426
01:13:43,300 --> 01:13:44,520
For me, Cindy!
1427
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:46,320
I would do anything for you, Brenda.
1428
01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:54,800
Yes! She bought it!
1429
01:13:54,980 --> 01:13:57,400
That elf catch-up trick! It don't fail!
1430
01:13:57,400 --> 01:14:01,180
That bitch is crazy if she thought I was taking my black ass back in there!
1431
01:14:01,820 --> 01:14:02,760
Emma, hold on!
1432
01:14:05,500 --> 01:14:06,700
Attention all killers!
1433
01:14:07,480 --> 01:14:10,300
You have five seconds to show yourselves!
1434
01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:24,860
Shorty!
1435
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,360
Bitch!
1436
01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:27,960
You shot my favorite phone!
1437
01:14:28,520 --> 01:14:30,180
Go find your own damn present!
1438
01:14:30,960 --> 01:14:31,340
Sorry!
1439
01:14:41,180 --> 01:14:42,600
Hello, Cindy!
1440
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:44,400
Hello!
1441
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:51,360
Looks like you forgot the first rule of surviving a horror movie. Never answer the phone!
1442
01:14:52,300 --> 01:14:55,880
I thought the first rule was never trust the love interest.
1443
01:14:57,660 --> 01:14:58,180
Really?
1444
01:14:58,440 --> 01:15:00,680
Well, I'm changing rules. How about that?
1445
01:15:01,780 --> 01:15:04,640
New rule. Go fuck yourself.
1446
01:15:05,260 --> 01:15:05,760
Wait, wait!
1447
01:15:06,300 --> 01:15:10,000
Oh! Why do you wear your closet so much?
1448
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:11,660
I told you to come out.
1449
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,580
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot!
1450
01:15:13,940 --> 01:15:15,000
Ironic, isn't it?
1451
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:17,380
You missed me, bitch!
1452
01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:18,020
You're gone!
1453
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:19,080
Oh, God!
1454
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:19,880
It's Mooseface!
1455
01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,360
It's a tumble rope.
1456
01:15:22,820 --> 01:15:24,040
You beat your down wick!
1457
01:15:24,220 --> 01:15:25,520
I feel like I killed your dog!
1458
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:32,460
The dog is just a metaphor.
1459
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:34,740
It was about losing his wife!
1460
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:36,040
Are you sure it's not an allegory?
1461
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:48,320
Let us begin.
1462
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:50,220
Let us begin.
1463
01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:10,800
Oh, that stunt girl is good!
1464
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:51,560
Eat a dick!
1465
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,180
Shoot him, Sarah!
1466
01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:04,200
End this!
1467
01:17:04,360 --> 01:17:05,640
Don't tell me what to do!
1468
01:17:06,140 --> 01:17:10,540
This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy-daughter issues, but...
1469
01:17:10,540 --> 01:17:14,100
Sarah, I am so sorry. I have been a terrible mother.
1470
01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:17,340
I don't even know your sister Wednesday...
1471
01:17:17,340 --> 01:17:17,640
...Tuesday.
1472
01:17:18,140 --> 01:17:20,700
Have to clarify that for legal reasons.
1473
01:17:21,060 --> 01:17:22,720
But I prepared you for this.
1474
01:17:23,060 --> 01:17:24,500
So go on, baby.
1475
01:17:24,780 --> 01:17:25,820
You kill him!
1476
01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:27,120
Sarah!
1477
01:17:27,660 --> 01:17:28,140
Jack!
1478
01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:28,560
Sarah!
1479
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:29,480
Jack!
1480
01:17:29,900 --> 01:17:30,100
Sarah!
1481
01:17:30,340 --> 01:17:30,860
Oh, Jack!
1482
01:17:31,140 --> 01:17:31,500
Sarah!
1483
01:17:31,780 --> 01:17:32,200
Jack!
1484
01:17:32,540 --> 01:17:32,740
Sarah!
1485
01:17:32,980 --> 01:17:33,420
Sarah!
1486
01:17:33,980 --> 01:17:34,100
Jack!
1487
01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:37,000
Thank God you're okay, because I really wanted to be the one who-
1488
01:17:37,660 --> 01:17:38,140
Oh!
1489
01:17:38,460 --> 01:17:38,980
Take it, baby!
1490
01:17:40,780 --> 01:17:42,900
I told you it was about me!
1491
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:43,680
No!
1492
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:44,720
Sarah!
1493
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:47,500
You were just a bitch.
1494
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:49,280
It's about her.
1495
01:17:50,260 --> 01:17:50,780
Fuck!
1496
01:17:50,980 --> 01:17:53,320
Oh, sorry, honey. I hate being right.
1497
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:55,420
You should've listened to Doofy!
1498
01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:57,420
The love interest!
1499
01:17:58,220 --> 01:18:00,580
It just seems too obvious, you know?
1500
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:03,000
Which makes you think it is not obvious.
1501
01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:03,880
Same page, honey.
1502
01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:04,340
I'm fine.
1503
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:06,320
Yeah, well that's the twist!
1504
01:18:06,620 --> 01:18:07,620
Now get in the kitchen.
1505
01:18:07,980 --> 01:18:08,120
Go!
1506
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:08,840
Hey!
1507
01:18:09,100 --> 01:18:09,200
Oh!
1508
01:18:09,840 --> 01:18:11,020
Okay, listen up!
1509
01:18:12,180 --> 01:18:16,560
See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since the first one.
1510
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:18,300
We're gonna save the franchise.
1511
01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:20,100
Go get our special guest star.
1512
01:18:22,780 --> 01:18:23,300
Hollywood!
1513
01:18:23,960 --> 01:18:24,760
Out of ideas!
1514
01:18:25,340 --> 01:18:27,800
Why else would there be a Scary Movie 6?
1515
01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:30,060
But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it?
1516
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:32,560
We need the legacy characters.
1517
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:33,020
Oh!
1518
01:18:33,300 --> 01:18:37,940
And there wouldn't be a Cindy without her sassy black sidekick, Brenda!
1519
01:18:38,340 --> 01:18:41,040
You ain't have to say black with no hard B like that!
1520
01:18:41,340 --> 01:18:41,980
Brenda!
1521
01:18:42,340 --> 01:18:43,720
Didn't you get shot?
1522
01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:45,360
Did I?
1523
01:18:46,480 --> 01:18:47,120
Oh!
1524
01:18:47,500 --> 01:18:47,620
Wait!
1525
01:18:47,780 --> 01:18:48,100
Andy!
1526
01:18:48,440 --> 01:18:48,960
Oh look!
1527
01:18:49,080 --> 01:18:49,580
Stop dancing!
1528
01:18:53,220 --> 01:18:54,020
Stop dancing!
1529
01:18:54,220 --> 01:18:55,140
Everybody stop dancing!
1530
01:18:55,420 --> 01:18:55,620
Oh my God!
1531
01:18:56,100 --> 01:18:56,440
Oh!
1532
01:18:57,280 --> 01:18:57,920
Mom!
1533
01:18:58,420 --> 01:18:58,860
No!
1534
01:19:00,260 --> 01:19:02,020
You called me Mom!
1535
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:04,960
You care about me!
1536
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:07,740
Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I mean...
1537
01:19:07,740 --> 01:19:08,560
Sure.
1538
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:09,600
Go get Tuesday!
1539
01:19:10,040 --> 01:19:11,120
Okay, ladies!
1540
01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:13,400
Time to stage the body!
1541
01:19:13,980 --> 01:19:16,400
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
1542
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:16,700
Whoa!
1543
01:19:18,380 --> 01:19:19,800
What? Who are you people?
1544
01:19:19,980 --> 01:19:22,840
We're the motherfuckers that are taking over this franchise!
1545
01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:24,280
Oh yeah?
1546
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:25,220
Oh!
1547
01:19:25,220 --> 01:19:25,820
Okay!
1548
01:19:26,180 --> 01:19:27,160
Oh my God!
1549
01:19:27,220 --> 01:19:29,280
That was not part of the clip!
1550
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:30,680
Oh my God!
1551
01:19:31,180 --> 01:19:31,300
What?
1552
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:32,900
Oh my God!
1553
01:19:32,900 --> 01:19:33,620
Neither was this!
1554
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:34,900
Oh!
1555
01:19:37,860 --> 01:19:38,380
Wait!
1556
01:19:38,460 --> 01:19:39,560
Ray got one of those!
1557
01:19:39,820 --> 01:19:40,080
Woo!
1558
01:19:40,780 --> 01:19:41,740
Hot damn!
1559
01:19:43,500 --> 01:19:45,240
I have Cindy Anderson!
1560
01:19:45,980 --> 01:19:46,420
Yeah!
1561
01:19:47,220 --> 01:19:49,000
And I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me!
1562
01:19:49,820 --> 01:19:50,380
Huh?
1563
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:57,200
What?
1564
01:19:57,600 --> 01:19:58,020
Shark?
1565
01:19:58,320 --> 01:19:58,920
That's right!
1566
01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,120
On my knees, on the same height as Kevin!
1567
01:20:01,560 --> 01:20:02,680
And Kevin said no!
1568
01:20:03,140 --> 01:20:04,100
Kevin Hart said no?
1569
01:20:04,320 --> 01:20:06,060
That little motherfucker says yes to everything!
1570
01:20:06,620 --> 01:20:07,280
Yeah he does!
1571
01:20:07,560 --> 01:20:08,360
But wait!
1572
01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:10,200
There's more!
1573
01:20:11,780 --> 01:20:12,460
Shatter!
1574
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:14,840
Bitches!
1575
01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:15,620
Ray!
1576
01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:16,720
Shorty!
1577
01:20:16,840 --> 01:20:17,260
Yeah!
1578
01:20:17,540 --> 01:20:18,160
That's right!
1579
01:20:18,700 --> 01:20:19,380
For!
1580
01:20:19,780 --> 01:20:21,380
Black Killers!
1581
01:20:21,960 --> 01:20:22,740
We're making history.
1582
01:20:23,300 --> 01:20:25,900
It's a new definition of black excellence!
1583
01:20:26,780 --> 01:20:28,700
But why would you do this?
1584
01:20:28,900 --> 01:20:30,260
Question is...
1585
01:20:30,260 --> 01:20:33,140
Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh?
1586
01:20:33,300 --> 01:20:33,560
Yeah!
1587
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:37,840
When the studio wanted to replace these brothers, I was there!
1588
01:20:37,840 --> 01:20:37,920
Yeah!
1589
01:20:38,300 --> 01:20:38,880
That's facts!
1590
01:20:39,260 --> 01:20:40,000
What about me?
1591
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:41,260
What about you?
1592
01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:43,780
You were in one scene in part four!
1593
01:20:44,300 --> 01:20:47,080
Yes, but I mean that motherfucker Dr. Phil cut his foot off!
1594
01:20:47,220 --> 01:20:48,220
And he crazy now!
1595
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:48,440
Yeah!
1596
01:20:48,620 --> 01:20:49,100
He got weird!
1597
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:51,540
But you see what they trying to do?
1598
01:20:51,780 --> 01:20:53,780
They trying to pit us all up against each other!
1599
01:20:53,780 --> 01:20:56,720
They trying to stop black on very black crime!
1600
01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:57,300
That's right!
1601
01:20:58,040 --> 01:20:58,700
Yo Shaq!
1602
01:20:58,860 --> 01:21:00,840
Ay, I'm proud of you bro!
1603
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:05,040
You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator since retiring from basketball!
1604
01:21:05,380 --> 01:21:05,440
Mmhmm!
1605
01:21:05,540 --> 01:21:07,640
And I love the big podcast!
1606
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:08,740
I love that shit!
1607
01:21:09,220 --> 01:21:12,840
Even though I don't understand the words you be saying, you be on that show until I...
1608
01:21:12,840 --> 01:21:13,960
Alright, I'll break this shit!
1609
01:21:14,580 --> 01:21:15,140
Alright...
1610
01:21:15,140 --> 01:21:15,860
Alright, let's go back to my room.
1611
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:17,320
Alright...
1612
01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:17,680
Kobe...
1613
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:18,060
Enough!
1614
01:21:19,060 --> 01:21:22,260
But my point is n***a, I love yo shit!
1615
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:25,580
But I never got over Kazam!
1616
01:21:40,860 --> 01:21:52,360
What the fuck are you talking about? I'm doing it for the culture. What culture? Culture club?
1617
01:21:52,360 --> 01:21:55,560
Come on, man, we're killing people. Stay focused.
1618
01:21:55,720 --> 01:22:00,940
All right, we're back. Hey, don't you worry. We're family.
1619
01:22:01,800 --> 01:22:07,180
Mad respect. Black is nominated for eight Emmys, nigger.
1620
01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:12,740
Actually, the show was only nominated for five. I was nominated for eight.
1621
01:22:22,620 --> 01:22:24,720
But you never won. What?
1622
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:33,460
Nobody's managed to meet motherfuckers. This isn't for doing scary movies playing for.
1623
01:22:33,620 --> 01:22:35,660
I didn't know they fired the family.
1624
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:40,580
This is for copying our Good Times episode on Slackage.
1625
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:45,980
But you guys were on the WB. Nobody saw that shit.
1626
01:22:48,220 --> 01:22:54,700
No, no, no. And you. And you. Y'all went and did scary movies three and four without us.
1627
01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:58,600
Baby, I'm sorry. They offered me so much money. I got a new house.
1628
01:23:02,140 --> 01:23:03,080
What about you?
1629
01:23:04,420 --> 01:23:09,020
Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable Charlie Shane.
1630
01:23:11,240 --> 01:23:14,700
That's good. He's a legend. And his dick game is crazy.
1631
01:23:15,060 --> 01:23:19,620
You know he slept with 47,000 women and a thousand of them women were dudes.
1632
01:23:20,060 --> 01:23:20,980
Lucky guy.
1633
01:23:22,460 --> 01:23:24,780
Wait. So y'all gonna kill us now?
1634
01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:26,980
Nah.
1635
01:23:28,520 --> 01:23:30,720
Don't Halloween be without Jamie Lee Curtis.
1636
01:23:31,020 --> 01:23:32,960
Or Scream be without Nev Kim.
1637
01:23:33,280 --> 01:23:34,380
That would be Scream 6.
1638
01:23:34,660 --> 01:23:37,160
How did you guys pull all of this off?
1639
01:23:37,160 --> 01:23:40,860
Cindy. You know how many Wayans is there off?
1640
01:23:41,580 --> 01:23:42,600
Big of billions.
1641
01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:43,400
Billions.
1642
01:23:43,720 --> 01:23:46,540
I'm just so happy that the old gang is back together.
1643
01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,440
Okay. In the middle. On three.
1644
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:50,680
Core four.
1645
01:23:51,220 --> 01:23:53,960
Uh oh. No, no. That's core. That's why.
1646
01:23:54,780 --> 01:23:58,140
What about the young and the restless?
1647
01:23:58,540 --> 01:24:01,020
Yeah. Or the old and then the beautiful.
1648
01:24:01,300 --> 01:24:03,860
Or the cute and the crusty.
1649
01:24:04,060 --> 01:24:05,980
Yeah. Or the sexy and then the sea.
1650
01:24:05,980 --> 01:24:06,500
Yeah.
1651
01:24:07,020 --> 01:24:08,980
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1652
01:24:10,620 --> 01:24:11,340
Augh!
1653
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:14,760
We were brought in to take over the franchise!
1654
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:15,640
That's right!
1655
01:24:15,940 --> 01:24:18,500
It's been nearly 70 years old!
1656
01:24:22,740 --> 01:24:26,360
I should drag that one to my subway. My back hurts.
1657
01:24:27,420 --> 01:24:30,220
Guys, guys, they're already dead.
1658
01:24:30,500 --> 01:24:32,560
Nah, little fuckers always come back.
1659
01:24:32,820 --> 01:24:34,400
Oh no, not this time.
1660
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:37,680
Exactly. Come on, let's go, let's go. We got to manage.
1661
01:24:38,500 --> 01:24:42,220
That's one, that's one. They're still raising my man!
1662
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:50,920
Fire, bitch, fire!
1663
01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:03,740
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
1664
01:25:04,020 --> 01:25:06,520
Do we feel bad? I mean, those are our kids.
1665
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:07,960
Fuck those kids!
1666
01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:10,440
This is our franchise!
1667
01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:14,900
Besides, we can do all these dramatic walkways and the bio-maths.
1668
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:16,140
This is a dancer.
1669
01:25:17,100 --> 01:25:17,860
I don't know.
1670
01:25:18,460 --> 01:25:19,420
I kind of like it.
1671
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:21,700
You do, Ray?
1672
01:25:21,920 --> 01:25:23,020
We should play the fire with you.
1673
01:25:23,100 --> 01:25:24,560
You want to dress up like a body?
1674
01:25:24,860 --> 01:25:26,700
No, I want you to dress up like a body.
1675
01:25:26,700 --> 01:25:27,540
What do we mean now?
1676
01:25:27,900 --> 01:25:28,860
Y'all feel a dress?
1677
01:25:29,880 --> 01:25:30,960
Bigger than never, we back!
112434
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