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♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,364
♪ Gonna have myself a time
3
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,887
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,021
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,848
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672
♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
8
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,461
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,679
♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,251
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
13
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,870
All right, people,
it's almost Thanksgiving,
14
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957
and that means the annual
Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.
15
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,660
How is it that we haven't found
one sponsor
16
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,879
to help pay for this event?
17
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574
South Park's just fallen
on hard times, Mayor.
18
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,319
Nobody's got the money.
19
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231
Tegridy Farms used to be
a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,
20
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364
but as you know, we've recently
all lost Tegridy.
21
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540
So I'm afraid
we just can't help.
22
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,894
What about
the City Asian Pop Up Store?
23
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241
Can't they help sponsor
this year's race?
24
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939
How City Asian Pop Up
pay for Turkey Trot?
25
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593
We gotta pay tariff!
26
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,512
We more fucked than anybody!
27
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,818
Let's just face it, Mayor,
South Park businesses
28
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,039
are dying and a lot of good
people have lost their jobs.
29
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820
-Trash?
-Anybody got trash?
30
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606
-Oh, yeah, here's some.
-Bank shot!
31
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,739
There has to be a solution,
people.
32
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,876
The Turkey Trot is
the one time of year
33
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,353
this town comes together
as a community.
34
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,007
We all need it now,
more than ever.
35
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793
Well, of course,
there is someone
36
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,752
who'd be willing to give
South Park a bunch of money.
37
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977
I mean, they're giving money
to everyone else.
38
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,287
Why not us?
39
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,812
My God.
40
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,462
That's it!
41
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554
This Thanksgiving morning,
42
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,644
lace up for holiday fun
and tradition.
43
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,995
It's the 28th annual
South Park Turkey Trot.
44
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,305
Sponsored by...
45
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,914
Saudi Arabia!
46
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,181
It's a 5K race
absolutely stuffed
47
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,922
with Thanksgiving traditions.
48
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,321
And the first one across
the finish line
49
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,015
wins their team $5,000!
50
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,242
Sign up your team now!
51
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,722
All ages are welcome!
52
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,902
Disparaging remarks towards
the Saudi Royal family
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00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,948
are strictly prohibited.
54
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,687
Start your Thanksgiving with
this time-honored tradition.
55
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,562
The South Park Turkey Trot.
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00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,790
$5,000, you guys.
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00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,313
The winner of this year's
Turkey Trot
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00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920
gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.
59
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,405
Like, if anybody's gonna
get money from Saudi Arabia,
60
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794
it should be us.
61
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,194
And just one person
has to win the race
62
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,543
and your whole team
gets the money?
63
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,410
-Yeah!
-Dude, that is crazy!
64
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,201
We should just get a bunch
of kids on our team,
65
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,028
and then the chances of one of
us winning is way better.
66
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,292
Yeah, but then you gotta
split the prize money more ways.
67
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,770
It's true, man.
68
00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:25,379
I say we keep our team to four,
five runners, max.
69
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,341
Nobody said we wanted you
on the team.
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00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,777
Yeah, you kinda slow us down.
71
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,297
Oh, no, no, no, trust me.
72
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690
You want me on the racing team.
73
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519
I happen to be an expert
in race science, you guys.
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00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653
I know a way to give our team
an optimal winning advantage.
75
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,613
Tolkien!
76
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,792
Hey, man.
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00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,011
Listen, I was, uh...
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00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,606
I was just wondering whose team
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00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,841
you're thinking of being on
for the big Turkey Trot.
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00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,582
-Turkey Trot?
-You know, the big footrace
81
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,970
Thanksgiving morning?
82
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,368
First place wins 5,000 bucks
for his whole team.
83
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,197
-Oh.
-I'm not really a runner.
84
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890
Yeah, right.
85
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,418
Of course you're a runner,
Tolkien.
86
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590
Sorry, guys,
just give me one second.
87
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,683
-What the hell is he doing?
-I don't know.
88
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,858
All right, look, Tolkien,
89
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725
I'm a racing science expert, OK?
90
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,905
The data shows your race
always wins races.
91
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296
Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.
Tolkien.
92
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,041
Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
93
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,477
If you don't want to race
for yourself,
94
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736
then do it for the needy...
Kenny and Stan.
95
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,308
I mean, Stan's family
lost their home, dude.
96
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,267
Those guys could really use
the money,
97
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,225
and all the analytics show
that with you on the team,
98
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,661
we can't lose.
99
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,403
Could you... could you just do it
for Thanksgiving?
100
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096
All right, fine.
101
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011
Yes? He said yes!
102
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,066
Jesus Christ, Mitch.
103
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239
A $5,000 prize
for the Turkey Trot?
104
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024
Everyone in town is gonna want
to do this race.
105
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,553
I was kind of thinking of
signing the family up, sir.
106
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,033
We could really use some of that
Saudi Arabian dough.
107
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,861
-Can't do it, Mitch.
-We're gonna be busy on race day.
108
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,123
Sir!
109
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,603
The White house is calling
again.
110
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,301
They're demanding
we release the prisoner.
111
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,558
Tell them we're busy.
112
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,086
But they said
if we don't comply,
113
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,609
they're gonna send in
Pete Hegseth
114
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303
and the Department of War.
115
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522
Who's Pete Hegseth?
116
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878
Yeah! Yeah!
117
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,930
Hey, what's up, guys?
This is Pete Hegseth
118
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,584
with the Department of War!
119
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,717
We're here to infiltrate this
police station and extract a POI
120
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,499
'cause that's what we do!
121
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764
At ease, soldier!
122
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,726
The President of
the United States orders you
123
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595
to release custody of the
prisoner to me immediately.
124
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252
I warned you
I had powerful friends.
125
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820
Yeah, well, Totoro still
has to be processed
126
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,348
and seen by a judge.
127
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,263
And we have a big Turkey Trot
to deal with,
128
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,699
so it's gonna be a few days.
129
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784
Hey, man, I don't think
you understand.
130
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613
You're messing with
the Department of War!
131
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:53,966
And we mean business.
132
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659
We don't stand down for anyone!
133
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:56,969
Be sure to like and subscribe.
134
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,711
All right, let's do this!
135
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451
All right, I certainly don't
want to tangle with you guys.
136
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,196
How about you just push
the secret button in the floor
137
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,374
over here and the jail cell
doors will all open.
138
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,245
-The secret button?
-Yeah, it's in the floor.
139
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503
Right there, you see it?
140
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245
-It's right... there it is!
-Ah, ah, ahh!
141
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,556
Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.
142
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249
Oh, you...
143
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469
I dare you to do that again.
144
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049
OK, and did you already register
145
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,576
your racing team online?
146
00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,879
Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.
147
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,538
We're racing with
the Kiwanis Gun Club.
148
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,192
Yes, here you go.
149
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,063
Good luck with the race,
happy Thanksgiving,
150
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671
and.
151
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152
-Uh, it's Mackey.
-Mr. Mackey, mmkay.
152
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,594
OK, Mr. Mackey,
and how many on your team?
153
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,900
Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.
154
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,208
I need that sweet Saudi Arabian
money all for myself.
155
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,210
All right, guys,
we got our racing numbers.
156
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,820
Damn, dude, there's so many
people signing up.
157
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,995
How are we ever gonna win?
158
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,170
Don't worry, you guys,
159
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,781
I've been scoping out
the competition.
160
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,522
That group over there
is the Rotary Club.
161
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,437
They won last year, but
they're all, like, old now.
162
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609
Over there is
the City Pop Up team.
163
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,179
The race science says
they'll race smart,
164
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,007
but not necessarily fast,
so we're good there.
165
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,269
Oh, hey, Stan.
166
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,793
You gonna do the Turkey Trot
this year?
167
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399
Yeah. You guys are too?
168
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967
-Hell yeah, we are!
-$5,000!
169
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,886
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
all four of you ladies
170
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971
have a really awesome chance
of winning.
171
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,064
There's actually five of us.
172
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,631
Hey, guys, what's up?
173
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,852
Well, we'll see you at the race.
174
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633
All right, see ya!
175
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,857
They're teaching race science
to girls now?
176
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,184
What the hell kind of country
are we living in?
177
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,428
Commitment!
178
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121
Strength!
179
00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:53,516
The ability to obliterate
our enemies!
180
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519
That is the Department of War!
181
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913
What's up, guys?
I'm Pete Hegseth.
182
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,310
We're outside
this woke liberal town
183
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439
that is actually
defying our government,
184
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659
and nobody defies
the Department of War!
185
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444
Pete Hegseth will do
whatever it takes!
186
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,842
I'm here to kick bubblegum
and chew ass,
187
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883
and I'm all outta ass.
188
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364
I'll do whatever's necessary
to get the job done!
189
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975
Oh, yeah, look at that!
190
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,286
That's the President of the
United States calling me,
191
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326
right now!
192
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154
Yes, Mr. President?
193
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,421
Hegseth!
194
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983
What the fuck are you doing?
195
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029
Did you get Peter Thiel?
196
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640
No, sir, we were unable
to extract the prisoner.
197
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,517
We were met with resistance from
the woke local police force.
198
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211
God damn it,
we gave you one job to do.
199
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996
We need Peter Thiel here
at the White house.
200
00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:40,567
Sir, yes, sir!
201
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,787
I'm gonna need the full might
of the Department of War!
202
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,442
I'll need all our tanks
and guns and dudes!
203
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,921
Then you've got it.
204
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746
Just get us the prisoner,
no matter what it takes!
205
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269
Hell yeah!
206
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968
And Hegseth, don't just make
a bunch of content.
207
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710
Like, actually go
and do something.
208
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,979
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
209
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543
Yes, sir, Mr. President!
I will make this town pay!
210
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285
God, he is such a douchebag.
211
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,163
All right, men, we'll have
a full army here by tomorrow.
212
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,339
And then that small town cop
213
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381
is gonna see
he messed with the wrong guy.
214
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263
It's the morning
of the big race,
215
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787
and all of South Park
appears to have turned out
216
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094
in the spirit of community.
217
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,883
People are putting on
their numbers
218
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316
and rocking out
their festive costumes.
219
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,192
I'm with Police Chief Harris,
220
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,760
and Chief, your guys have been
working overtime.
221
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,588
Yeah, well,
we just want to make sure
222
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,155
everyone has a safe
Thanksgiving morning.
223
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806
We want people to stay hydrated
and be responsible.
224
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895
Let's have a good Turkey Trot.
225
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,510
Now, of course, there's a lot
of money on the line
226
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333
for the team of the race winner,
227
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,819
and so some people
are turning to race science.
228
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,386
That's right, you know,
a lot of people these days
229
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905
want to debunk science.
230
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,345
You know,
vaccine's cause autism,
231
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082
jet fuel leaves chemtrails,
232
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998
but when it comes to
racing science, it's science.
233
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,789
Certainly a lot of runners
hoping to cash in today,
234
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049
so may the best turkey win.
235
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,622
All right,
you guys ready to run?
236
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,406
We got this.
Come on, team, let's go!
237
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447
-Where's Tolkien?
-Oh, you didn't hear?
238
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753
I didn't hear what?
239
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,543
Tolkien says
he's not gonna race.
240
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,893
What do you mean
Tolkien's not going to race?
241
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,938
He said because it's being
sponsored by Saudi Arabia,
242
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,766
he's bowing out
for political reasons.
243
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,029
-Are you fucking joking?
-No.
244
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288
God damn it, wait here!
245
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:43,603
Welcome, everyone to the 28th
annual South Park Turkey Trot!
246
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603
This is a wonderful turnout,
247
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,259
and I'm sure you'll all help me
in thanking this year's sponsor,
248
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,004
Saudi Arabia!
249
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,312
Holy shit!
250
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,279
Holy shit,
we've got an Antifa uprising!
251
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756
All right, Department of War,
listen up!
252
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628
The people of this town
are starting an insurrection!
253
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,458
But they will not stand in
the way of us getting our man!
254
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,114
Tolkien!
255
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,859
Tolkien?
256
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,986
Tolkien!
257
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,127
Dude, what the hell are you
doing?
258
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,559
Playing "Arc Raiders."
259
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,738
The guys said
you're not gonna race
260
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,566
because it's being sponsored
by Saudi Arabia?
261
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,390
Yeah, just doesn't feel right.
262
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261
"It doesn't feel right"?
263
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,787
-Yeah, doesn't feel right.
-"It doesn't feel right"?
264
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,575
What, Tolkien, you don't like
that Saudi Arabia
265
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,881
is buying American stuff?
266
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,709
They're trying to be
progressive, OK?
267
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,711
You want them to go back
to what they were doing?
268
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,930
You want Saudi Arabia to just go
back to cutting people up
269
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,889
and paying Kevin Hart?
Is that what you want?
270
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,325
I can't see the screen.
271
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,805
Tolkien, you can't whine
about a country
272
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,644
trying to come into
the 21st century.
273
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,331
Them wanting to help pay
for American things is good.
274
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,289
'Cause guess what?
If Saudi Arabia is out
275
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,508
paying for sporting events,
276
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,814
they're not out
hacking up reporters
277
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,043
and inviting Pete Davidson
to come do comedy.
278
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,605
All right, everyone,
on your mark...
279
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266
Get set...
280
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451
Holy shit!
281
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,714
Shots fired!
Shots fired!
282
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,457
Get set up over there!
We need content! Now!
283
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,898
What's up, guys?
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
284
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635
We are being fired upon!
285
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464
There's an uprising here.
Some kind of insurrection.
286
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596
Make sure to like and subscribe!
287
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,216
You can hear
the liberal terrorists
288
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,431
all screaming
and chanting behind us.
289
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,998
We're gonna take 'em on!
290
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,569
Just another day
in the Department of War!
291
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,744
Let's move out!
292
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,007
Did you know that since 2018,
293
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,529
they actually allow women
to drive in Saudi Arabia?
294
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,230
They allow women to drive!
295
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,581
It's like practically a lesbian
utopia over there.
296
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,062
Can you please just let me
enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?
297
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,412
Oh, yeah, sure, who cares
about lesbian utopia?
298
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,714
Not Tolkien.
Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia
299
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,416
to just keep chopping off
gay people's heads.
300
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022
That's way better, isn't it?
301
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,764
-You're being a dick, bro.
-Go away.
302
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,424
All right, Tolkien,
you know what?
303
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726
Fine.
If you really don't want to be
304
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,995
a part of our country embracing
Saudi Arabia's desire to change,
305
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819
then we don't need you.
306
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,607
Hey!
307
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,745
Hey, gimme back my Xbox!
308
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221
Come get it, asshole!
309
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,452
Come on.
310
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493
Come on,
we gotta get that money.
311
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,544
The rioting terrorists
appear to be advancing
312
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281
north, northeast.
313
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,978
Our plan, gentlemen,
314
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,246
is to intercept them
at this location here,
315
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,075
and get as much content
as we possibly can.
316
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,252
It's quite possible we'll also
be needing to get content
317
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163
in this area, so be ready.
318
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,214
Third Battalion,
you'll be posting up here.
319
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,082
I want you posting on Instagram
and Twitter.
320
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867
Alpha Team post here.
321
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651
Bravo Team content there.
322
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656
All right, everyone, stand by.
323
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,270
At ease, soldier.
324
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,142
We heard there's
a civilian uprising.
325
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,318
Yeah, we don't need
Homeland Security's help.
326
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,102
-We got it.
-We're just here to assist
327
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360
in any way we can.
328
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319
That's what
Homeland Security does.
329
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,064
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
330
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,979
-We've got a...
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
331
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,719
This is not your content.
332
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,635
Everyone like and subscribe
to Department of War!
333
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905
Come on. Come on.
334
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,041
You got this. I got it.
335
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,134
God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!
336
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,703
Tolkien, how can you not catch
up to me?
337
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,403
You're not even trying!
338
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,970
I am trying!
339
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:32,109
I told you, I'm not a runner!
340
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,628
Yes, you are!
341
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,023
Will you stop fucking around?
342
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,609
Homeland Security
to Department of War.
343
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,743
The protestors are headed
your way.
344
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,610
Stand down, Homeland Security.
345
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,138
This is our content.
346
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,570
There's too many of 'em!
347
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,761
Here they come.
348
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,412
Everyone, hold your positions!
349
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,805
Department of War will not
be intimidated!
350
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,115
Hold.
351
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,858
Hold!
352
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,562
Fire the tear gas! Yeah!
353
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,263
Dude.
354
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,746
Dude, which way are we
supposed to go?
355
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,615
I can't... I can't see nothing.
356
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,186
Tolkien? Tolkien!
357
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,797
Where the hell did you go?
358
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,077
What the hell's going on?
359
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,387
We don't know.
360
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,041
Well, how the hell are we
supposed to race
361
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,216
if they've blocked the road?
362
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740
Look, all I know is that
363
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:28,399
the Stotch family is in big
financial trouble this year.
364
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397
We have to reach
that finish line.
365
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,139
-You think you fucked?
-We gotta pay tariff!
366
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,358
That prize money is
our only chance.
367
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,974
Does anyone have
a Turkey Trot route map?
368
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,627
Yeah, I've got one here.
369
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:40,832
All right, let's see.
370
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,238
So if this area's
all blocked off,
371
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,983
then our best chance
at getting to the finish line
372
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371
is detouring through here.
373
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,509
No, no, we should go this way
through the underpass.
374
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,641
Are you crazy?
That's too much of a shortcut.
375
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,596
We could get disqualified.
376
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,947
All that matters is that
it's OK with Saudi Arabia.
377
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,603
Would going this way be OK
with Saudi Arabia?
378
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,997
There's no way to be sure
what Saudi Arabia wants.
379
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262
All I know is,
I need their money.
380
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,743
So I'm gonna go out there
and take my chances.
381
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010
What's up, guys?
382
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,451
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
383
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,409
We've got the Narco terrorists
on the run
384
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,889
and we're gonna take 'em out.
385
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,283
Yeah!
386
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:32,633
♪ Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ♪
387
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:38,595
♪ Pete Hegseth
is a fucking douche ♪
388
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,123
♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪
389
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,692
♪ Posting it
around the world ♪
390
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212
♪ Making lots of content
391
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:50,651
♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪
392
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:57,401
♪ Pete Hegseth's
a fucking douche ♪
393
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:01,492
♪ Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ♪
394
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,672
All right, buddy.
395
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,373
I don't know
what you think you're doing,
396
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,376
but I'm pretty sure I told you
to get the hell out of my town.
397
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,422
Oh, yeah?
398
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,846
Well, what do you think
you're gonna do about it?
399
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,469
Hello?
400
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,345
Hello?
401
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,737
Anybody?
402
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,952
Give me my Xbox!
403
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,345
Ah!
404
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,224
What is your problem, man?
405
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657
You could've made this
an amazing Thanksgiving.
406
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,143
For Stan. For Kenny.
407
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,272
But you just wanna play games.
408
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,622
For the last time,
409
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494
just because I'm Black
doesn't mean I run fast!
410
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,105
Yes, you do.
411
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,416
You just weren't trying
because you have a problem
412
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,766
with Saudia Arabia joining
the global community.
413
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,768
That has nothing to do
with you being a racist.
414
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,161
Oh, I'm a racist?
415
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,771
You want Saudi Arabia
416
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,947
to just keep stuffing
journalists into suitcases,
417
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,166
but I'm the racist!
418
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,125
I'm going home.
419
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,214
OK, fine, forget it.
420
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,737
Yeah, I will forget it!
421
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648
And I can think whatever I want!
422
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215
OK, you're right, Tolkien.
423
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,437
Yeah, I know I'm right!
424
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652
OK, that's cool.
425
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,005
Have a good Thanksgiving, man.
426
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,441
I will have a good Thanksgiving
427
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,356
'cause I won't be listening
to your stupid bullshit!
428
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,919
Yep, sounds good.
429
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,951
Enjoy the holidays
with your loved ones.
430
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887
Oh, God damn it.
431
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281
Yes! Race science!
432
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240
Race science!
433
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898
On behalf of the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia
434
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,863
and His Royal Highness
Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,
435
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,470
this year's Turkey Trot
grand prize
436
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,434
goes to the team
of South Park's very own
437
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,953
Tolkien Black!
438
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,660
We did it, dude.
439
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,919
It's right there.
You see it?
440
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,574
It's right there!
441
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272
-There you go.
-Almost there.
442
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,934
All right, guys,
that about wraps it up.
443
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,806
Let's get home
and eat some turkey.
444
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,420
You son of a bitch!
445
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,288
The president will come for us!
446
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,207
Yeah, maybe so.
447
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,687
Judge will see you Monday.
448
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,474
South Park's gonna pay for this.
449
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,646
They're all gonna pay.
30965
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