Original subtitles

Vlad with a chance, it drops down in front.

Stamkos after it, couldn't control Rodrigues.

Shot blocked away by O'Reilly.

Reinhart on the loose puck.

Back it goes for Rodrigues. They work it in front.

Reinhart's shot blocked again.

Oh, the Panthers look sharp here.

And this number one line really came together last night...

Stamkos went up with O'Reilly.

He shoots, he scores!

What a great night.

You know my favorite part about last night?

-Hmm? -The high-five.

Oh!

I was just so excited about how it was going.

I was self-conscious about being on top. It totally snapped me out of it.

You shouldn't be self-conscious about anything.

Mwah!

Oh, my gosh, this week.

Wow. I was so messed up after seeing my ex.

Really helped me. Mm!

There is nothing like a no-strings-attached booty call

to give you a boost of confidence.

-I'm glad I could help. -Mm.

What is better than just fun, uncomplicated sex?

Oh, my God.

What are we doing?

You need to wait at least 30 seconds before you start a conversation.

I just fucked you. Are you seriously telling me to be quiet?

This is tricky for me because I really want to say yes.

Doesn't this make you feel icky?

Icky? I don't feel icky.

It makes me feel excellent, Katie.

And you...

you're so beautiful.

I love you.

Yeah, yeah, we're not-- We're not doing that.

Come on, you can't honestly tell me you're not enjoying this

-a little bit. Yes. -I am, of course, I am.

-It's forbidden. -Yes.

And it's dangerous, and I wanna do it over and over,

which makes me wanna fucking choke you.

Well, I'm sure that can be arranged.

Ew!

Hey, kiddo! It's me.

Shit, it's my dad.

-Don't say a word. -Katie, it's Dad!

That's exactly what I've been saying.

-Oh, my God. -I know you're here.

-Come on out! -Come here, boy.

Ah!

Oh, yes, mi amor.

What did we say about drop-ins?

-You have got to text me. -I did text you.

"I'm out front knocking."

-Not what I meant. -Check it out.

How cool is this?

Gosh, half as cool as a motorcycle?

And twice as safe.

This sporty little sportster is going to turn my 13-minute commute

into a nine-minute commute.

-Total game changer. -Dad, if you ever find a woman

as excited about this as you, don't let her go.

Never gonna happen.

-Okay. Be safe. -Bye. Whoo!

Go slow.

Whoa!

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Is that thing street legal, Russo?

I don't know. Shouldn't you know?

-Are you sassin' me right now? -No, no.

-No. -Let me tell you something.

I've got an office, and in that office is a computer.

And as long as no one else is on it, I can look up the legal-ness of anything.

-Okay? -Okay.

I'm watching you, Russo. Like a hawk. Like a cop hawk.

-A what? -Cop hawk.

Are you saying "car park" with a Boston accent?

No, I'm saying cop hawk.

-Cah pahk! -No, cop--

-Smahten up. -Hawk.

Pahk the cah in the cah pahk.

I'm saying cop hawk.

-Wicked pissah. -Get outta here.

Cah pahk!

-Cortado and a decaf, enjoy. -Thank you. Hey.

Love the green hair, by the way.

Well, tell that to my mother. Huge fight last night.

I made her sleep on the couch.

-I'm gonna just... -Okay, take care.

I can help whoever's next.

God, I always regret talking to Beverly.

It's like, I care, but I don't care.

-You know what I mean? -Of course I do.

It's how you feel about everything in the world.

-You okay? -Just got rejected

from another internship.

-Oh. -Really thought I nailed this one.

We bonded over the fact that we're both germaphobes,

and then I pretended I was gonna sneeze on him.

It was fucking hilarious.

No, hey, that-- It sounds so funny.

Listen, someone is gonna hire you, and when they do,

it's gonna be the smartest thing they've ever done.

I like your pep talk.

Yeah?

You know what? You don't need to watch this movie anymore.

Before I start to actually write,

I like to do something that sounds a little bit basic.

I like to list my characters' traits.

So, let's call out some traits.

-Anyone? -Conscientious.

Conscientious.

I love a conscientious character.

How 'bout one that's easier to spell?

-Irascible? -No.

-Girthy. -Alright, we're done.

Why don't we brainstorm some of these traits,

bring them in in the morning?

Hello, hello? Sleepyhead?

Huh?

Today's class is going to be the only thing on the final.

-Sorry. -What?

-I'm kidding. -Fuck, dude.

-What's going on? -Sorry, Rooster.

I fell a little bit behind on rent, and my roommates kicked me out.

I've been sleeping at Spooner's place on the floor,

and my back is not happy.

Tommy, are you homeless?

-Unhoused. -Thank you, Ronni.

Are you unhoused?

Uh, no. Don't worry about me.

Okay, I have an extra room.

Why don't you just crash with me for a couple days?

-Really? -Yeah.

That is so lit. Thank you.

-You're welcome. -Do you have toothpaste?

You know what? Never mind.

-I'll get my own. -Okay.

So, just swing by

-after I get back from hockey practice. -Okay.

Hey, how is Coach Jake doing?

He's better. I think he just needed someone

to believe in him.

Fucker! Come on, DJ!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, no, no, no, no, no, hold on.

Hey, Coach, Coach, Coach! You okay, DJ?

You gonna take his side? He's giving me crazy attitude.

I just asked to go to the bathroom.

-Oh, you-- -Oh, no. No, no, no. No, Coach.

Maybe you need a shower, huh? A little time out.

-Yeah? -I thought you believed in me.

Not as much as before.

Lame!

-Okay. -Fucking losers.

-Hey! -Oh! Coach! Coach! Coach!

-Come on. -Fine, I'm gone.

-I'm out. I'm gone. -Three-on-three. Three-on-three.

No, no, no. Alright, you're--

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been shot."

Those were Teddy Roosevelt's words moments after an attempted assassination.

Now, what challenge

did Roosevelt face as a boy

that gave him so much grit as a man?

Eli, I appreciate your enthusiasm, son,

but I like to ask questions and answer them myself.

It's how I command a room. As you were.

The answer is childhood asthma.

-Roosevelt would then... -Hey.

-...be consumed by grief... -I was looking for you.

...when both his mother and his wife died.

Do you always come to Walt's lectures?

He likes me to start the applause when he's finished.

My cue word is "onward."

-I'll keep an eye out for that. -Question.

Which of Roosevelt's speeches resonates most today?

Eli, I feel like we just had this discussion.

-Hand down. -That one was really tricky, sir.

Just tell me when there's a real question.

There won't be.

Roosevelt's speech of all speeches, of course,

was "The Man in the Arena."

So...

what are you up to later?

What, at like 11:00?

Or, I don't know, 9:45?

-Eleven's kind of late. -Okay, Greg.

I'm a grown woman. A single parent.

I have a house that I will own outright in 28 years.

If you want this, or these, or to be inside this,

I need to be treated with some dignity.

Take me on a proper date. I'm not some cheap floozy.

I never felt that. Ever.

Even when you photocopied the-- your-- the-- these.

I appreciate that, 'cause I don't do that very often.

Okay.

Step into the arena of life...

Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?

Oh, I don't know. Have to think about it.

-Okay. -Yes.

Oh, okay.

Onward!

-Onward! -My goodness,

how can you not clap for that?

Thank you.

-Hello, gorgeous. -Ooh.

Hey, I just got some free time this afternoon.

Fancy a shag?

So romantic.

I can't. I'm meeting my dad here.

And I was thinking about claiming back some self-respect.

Oh, don't worry about that. No, no, no.

Okay, so I was gonna be having a meeting with my editor

who was gonna be giving me notes on the first five chapters of my book.

But, spoiler alert, she didn't have any.

I mean, zero notes.

It's like, sorry, am I the Lionel Messi of Slavic languages and Russian studies?

Come on, I wanna celebrate with you.

I wanna celebrate with your body.

-Yeah. -Uh-huh.

I meant to ask. Are you still fucking Sunny?

Whoa, that's...

Wow, that's an incredibly personal question.

-Seriously? -Okay.

If you must know, yeah, I am.

But never on the same day as you.

Never in the same 22-hour window as you.

I think you may be the worst person in the world.

What? Hey, listen, I have been very clear

about what I want.

You say the word, and I will do

whatever we have to do to get this marriage back on track.

-I don't know if I want that. -You need time.

I get that, and I pray that you take me back.

But if you don't, I kinda feel like

it's maybe incumbent upon me to do whatever I can

to make it work with the mother of my unborn child.

I mean, what kind of man would that make me if I didn't?

I don't think that's a man that you could love.

-Oh, my God. -So, I can't do anything

that would raise suspicions.

Are you trying to make sleeping with two people simultaneously

the moral high ground?

I hope you choose us, Katie.

No.

I really do.

Screeching to a stop never gets old.

What the fuck are you wearing?

Oh! Yeah, isn't that great?

That artsy girl with the nose ring, Zoey,

she's handing 'em out.

What is the deal with nose rings?

-Do those hurt? -Give me the bike.

-Oh, yeah, do you wanna try it? -Give me the bike.

-I knew it! Okay. -Get off.

So, that's the throttle, those are the brak-- Okay.

Beautiful form. Go for it.

Oh, you should put a helmet on, hon.

Okay, just loop it around!

Loop it around, hon.

And she's not coming back.

Alright, now that The Review is back in print, we gotta move fast.

So, I was thinking we all could work a little late tonight?

That's gonna be tough for me. I have a date.

Oh. Then, I do, too.

Oh, not with you. Check your texts.

With my roommate?

-But I introduced you guys. -Yes.

Thank you.

I'll never forget you.

-Professor Shepard, you wanted to see me? -One sec.

This is going to be the best issue yet.

Let's get it!

I'm sure you know that we've lost

a few young professors to other institutions.

So, I was thinking you and I could have

some personal meetings, so our best new voices

know that there's a fast track to tenure.

You're really embracing this Dean of Faculty thing.

I like the initiative. I'm in.

-Okay, good. -Excuse me.

There wasn't another reason you wanted to see me?

Perhaps you were moved

by an anonymous poetry submission?

A sonnet about the Irish Potato Famine?

Yeah, I'm sorry, that wasn't gonna work for me.

Huh.

Hi, Katie.

Your hair looks crazy.

I was on a very fast bike. Guys, can we have a minute alone?

I have a t-shirt for you, if you want one.

What are you doing?

I don't need you to punish Archie, okay?

He is a narcissist with a baby on the way. Believe me, he's gonna get his.

And not that it's about this,

but the picture that you've chosen makes me look like Nancy Pelosi.

You made me the face of a cause

without even asking?

This is a flashing reminder of all of the mistakes I keep making.

Katie, you didn't make any mistakes--

It's Professor Russo.

Stop it, all of it. Clear?

-Yeah. Sorry. -Thank you.

I've got a date, Tommy!

What did you do with the toothpaste?

I just borrowed a little bit,

but I didn't want to use your sink, so I used mine.

And I don't know, man, it's not in there.

Well, it's not upstairs.

Do you definitely have to brush?

Ranch-flavored Corn Nuts. Empty bag. You do the math.

-Yeah, just think. -Oh, no.

Try to retrace your steps, Tommy.

Where did you last have the toothpaste?

-Oh, the kitchen! -Great.

Yeah, the sink in the guest room is too small to get my face in.

Why do you put your face in the sink?

-Oh, you don't? -Uh-uh.

Hey, get the tongue. Tongue.

There you go.

See, you can fit your whole face in there.

I don't want to put my face in there.

Alright. I'm going to call her

and tell her I'm gonna be a little bit late.

Oh, God.

Why? Why is this not charged?

Oh, that's my charger, dude. That thing's broken.

Why do you keep it?

-Well, you never know. -You do. You know.

It's a dead charge-- Don't-- Oh.

Go. I just gotta go. Gotta go.

Slow down there. You just took a shower and you're already sweating again.

You know what? I bet I can't find my deodorant either. Did you take that?

I just used it a little bit.

Don't use my deodorant, please!

Alright, I'm out.

-Hey, crush it, Rooster! -I'm gonna crush it.

Stop right there! Disengage.

Hello.

We meet again.

Finally got a chance to hop on the work computer.

Did a little research, and it turns out these babies are not street legal.

Don't you have anything better to do?

Driver, I'm gonna need you to exit the vehicle.

Put your arms up, and then,

I'm gonna need you to give me...

a hug. Come here.

-Come here, there you go. -What's going on?

-Yes. There it is. -What are you doing?

Doesn't that feel good?

I don't understand.

I'm gonna let this slide tonight.

Ask me why.

Why?

Because of what you did...

for my boy, Donnie Junior.

Coach was gonna punch him, and then you threw yourself in the way.

DJ? That was your kid?

That's my son.

You earned yourself one of these.

A Get Out of Jail Free card.

-From Monopoly? Yeah. -Monopoly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-It's a game. -I've played.

So, that gets you out of jail. Turn it over.

That's my name and my phone number.

-Okay. -So, it's legit.

-Okay. -It won't work in any other town.

And it will not work for murder.

-That's a whole other card. -Thank you.

So, I really need to get going. I'm late for a date.

Well, then hop in the car. I'll give you a ride over there.

-Would that be faster? -I don't actually know.

I can't use the siren.

I did that once for a date, and I got into a heap of trouble.

You're gonna hit traffic. You got that light on Main Street.

You're gonna sit there and sit there and sit there.

It doesn't ever change. I've called about it, but no one picks up.

Thank you again!

You know, when I was a kid, the Bedford Y had a set of sauna rules, too.

"No horseplay, no foreplay."

-I enjoy your friend. -She's my rock.

I do have news.

I know you have not heard from Biotecha, so I went ahead and called.

You're not getting the internship.

Because they flat-out wanna hire you.

Stop! I knew it!

The Golden Buzzer. You got the golden ticket!

You're going to Hollywood!

Diana was quite impressed by you.

She is offering you a full-time position in her lab.

She's happy to work around your pregnancy.

She doesn't even care about you getting your degree.

-They don't give a shit! -You did it, kiddo!

Okay.

-Okay! -Okay.

Okay?

Okay, I, I need some air.

I'm freaking out.

-I'll check on her. -No, I got it.

And you were late. You still owe two minutes.

Hey. You okay?

Obviously, this is an incredible opportunity.

Just, taking this job

means moving away from Archie, and that's--

-It's complicated. -I understand.

But one of the top biotech firms in the whole country wants you.

And now, it's time to celebrate.

So could I please get a "what-what"?

-What-what. -Again, better.

What-what!

-Atta girl! -My goodness.

What are we celebrating?

I got a job offer at Biotecha.

-They're this neuro research-- -Oh! Yeah, I know.

Who'd you meet with?

No.

Diana Jennings.

Really?

Probably should have run that one by you first.

Probably.

-Congrats. -Thank you.

That one's gonna leave a mark.

You know what else I did? Got a pay increase for the adjuncts.

-Mm. -I mean, I'm a poet.

I never expected to have a supervisory position, you know,

but I like having the voice.

Oh, my God, you're drunk with power.

-Stop. -You are.

-No, I'm not. -You are.

I really just feel that I can...

I can do some good.

-Mm. -Even though I'm only interim Dean.

You need to stop treating this like it is a temporary position.

Own it, make it yours.

Okay. Why not?

-Check it out! -Whose is this?

Mine.

Greg, this is the coolest thing.

-Oh, my God! -Yes!

-Try this on. -Gimme!

Safety first, because I have a need for speed.

-You don't scare me. -Are you ready?

Now, you do.

Oh, my God!

Go, go!

Oh, my God!

-You got class this morning? -No.

But there is something I need to do.

I think it'll be fine.

It's not fine, Greg.

I'm sorry, again.

When I got home, I charged my phone and I texted you a bunch of times.

-I don't know if you got any of 'em. -I got them.

They made everything better.

I don't wanna give you a bunch of lame excuses.

I did get pulled over by the police.

And if I have to be honest, things really started to fall apart

-when I lost my toothpaste. -I don't wanna hear it.

I know, I know you don't. It was in the kitchen, of all places.

This isn't how people behave, Greg, when they're starting something real.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

It's just very embarrassing, I was sitting in the--

Cristle, will you send flowers to the hotel my wife is staying in?

-Oh... -Yeah.

...and find out where she's staying.

That'd be good. Morning, Greg.

Good morning.

Was there anything else?

Not at the moment.

Margaret Keane's husband initially took credit

for all of her work, until-- get this-- a judge made them do a paint-off in court.

But the husband never showed up. Typical, right?

You should have seen her, Dad. She was devastated.

Zoey was the one kid that looked up to me, and I completely crushed her.

Mm.

So, you don't like these shirts?

'Cause she gave me four of them. I can get rid of 'em.

Or they could be beach shirts. I could wear 'em to the beach.

-Dad. -I don't think they're soft enough to wear

as sleep shirts, but they could be beach--

Beach shirts, not sleep shirts. Say that five times fast.

What were you talking about, hon?

It's totally my own fault.

I was too open with Zoey about everything going on with Arch.

I don't usually do that.

You don't connect with your students?

-Why not? -Yeah, why not?

Why is he here?

-Oh, I live here. -Just for a couple of days.

Also, Greg said he needed to talk to me about some women problems.

No, Tommy, I did not say that.

I said that I was a little confused about a woman that I was seeing,

and you said, "I got you, dog."

And then, Katie walked in before I could say, "No, thank you, dog."

Oh, my God, is this the one-nighter?

I think she wants a little bit more than that.

-No. Okay. -Dad!

Let's stick with Katie's issue here right now.

Look, connecting with students

has been the best part of teaching for me so far.

It means a lot to me, too.

-You don't need to participate. -Oh, I don't mind.

I don't know if it's my thing. You know?

And I think maybe that's 'cause I'm not that much older than them.

Don't say a word unless you wanna get smacked.

I don't want to tell you how to do your job,

but I think you're missing out.

Tommy has some pals coming over,

so I am going to get them some fun snack-a-rooskies.

Ah, no veggies though, Rooster. Nobody likes celery.

How about with peanut butter?

Yeah, I'll allow it.

-He's my dad, not your dad. -He's everyone's dad.

-He's my dad. -Hot pockets

Hot pockets!

Yeah

Oh, there they are.

Ugh! I miss the quiet.

Did you hear back from any of those internships, Bug?

Did you hear back from Biotecha, or...

No, still nothing.

Well, keep your chin up, Bug. It'll all work out as planned.

-Bye. -Thank you.

Keeping secrets from him?

-I like that. -Thank you.

And I'll say this because you taught me how.

Love you.

Making me all misty-eyed.

I think she wants something

that's a little more real, a little more serious.

And I'm not sure that I'm ready for that.

This celery with peanut butter goes crazy.

-Mm. -How you make this?

It's celery and peanut butter,

a little sea salt, and a little lemon zest.

-Nice. -It is nice.

These would be so good if it had crunchy peanut butter

-instead of the smooth shit. -Mm!

Buddy, I told you, if you want anything, just write it on the list on the fridge.

Can't believe you live here.

You didn't work shit out with your parents?

Don't worry about it.

Come on, Pig Tits. We're talking about Rooster here, yeah?

Bro, take my advice. Don't catch no feelings.

-Mm-mm. -If you do, you gonna be telling

a beautiful little Taiwanese girl that you like country music, too.

And then, this weekend,

you're gonna be driving three hours to go see somebody named Luke Combs.

That is a very specific story, and one that sounds slightly personal.

I mean, if you're having fun, then don't overthink it.

I just don't wanna lead her on.

On the other hand, she's very nice, I like her.

There's really only one question that needs to be answered.

Mm-hmm?

How's the sex?

Well...

I would never tell you guys in a million years.

Kinky. It's gotta be kinky.

-No, guys. -He's into some weird shit.

I am not.

Whatcha doing over there, Greg?

Nothing, I'm just seeing if she wants to go to dinner tonight.

-Ooh! -What? What'd she say?

Steak emoji!

Rooster! Rooster!

Rooster! Rooster!

Hey. Can I talk to you for a minute?

Where are my glasses? There they are.

Uh-oh, stud alert!

What do you think? Trying too hard?

Hey, I'd hit that.

Thank you. Also, you wish.

Hey, you need some condoms?

That's not a discussion we're going to have.

And I noticed that you put "condoms" on the refrigerator list.

That is for food items only.

So, that's a "no" on the PlayStation?

That is a no on the PlayStation. Also...

what did Pig Tits mean when he said "work it out" with your parents?

My folks and I have a deal.

They'd only pay for my rent if I kept an above-C average,

and I'm just a smidge below that.

A big smidge or a small smidge?

-It's a pretty sizable smidge, yeah. -Mm.

Your class is the only one I'm doing well in.

-It's pass-fail. -And I'm gonna pass?

-Yeah. Let's hope. -Yeah.

My mom wants me to move home until I can get my grades up,

but I'm feeling really good here, you know?

You made a deal. You gotta move back home tonight.

-Come on, Rooster. -Pack your bags.

Tomorrow we will meet, come up with a study plan.

Gonna get you back on track.

-Man, you'd do that? -Of course.

We're accountability buddies.

-Yeah. Okay. -Oh, man.

I do not know why I'm so nervous about this date.

Oh, relax, man, I got you.

Open this up a little, yeah?

Oh. Oh, yeah?

Let the chest hair sing.

-Yeah, does that look good? -Damn.

No wonder this lady wants to wife you up.

Oh, boy. Yeah. "Wife me up."

Hey, you got this, okay? Oh, yeah.

Look.

I didn't like the t-shirts.

I mean, how would you feel if everywhere you walked,

you saw your own face?

I feel like I wouldn't mind it.

You're gonna do really well in life.

Still...

I should not have come down so hard on you.

-It's okay. -It's not.

I just...

Ah, Zoey,

I know you think I'm a strong woman

who is handling this personal shitstorm with grace.

But I'm not.

I'm struggling with my feelings for Professor Bates.

And those struggles are sometimes less about what he does

and more about how he smells.

You like the way he smells?

Unfortunately, I do.

I know you're not perfect.

That's kind of why you were my favorite teacher, Professor Russo. I...

I felt like you were someone I could really relate to.

-You can call me Katie. -Are you just saying that

'cause you wanna be my favorite teacher again?

That's definitely part of it.

Look, Archie is a run-of-the-mill narcissistic asshole who sometimes

smells like wildflowers.

I mean, come on.

There are plenty of real villains lurking around this place.

Making yourself right at home?

I thought it was time.

There's something I need to talk to you about.

Miss me?

Mm! Love the plant. Thank you.

Yeah.

There's no way she wrote all these poems.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

'Kay, thank you.

I wanted to ask you about your name.

I've never met anyone named Cristle.

-It's lovely. -Thank you.

It's Crystal, actually.

-What? -My first day working for Walt,

I'd just been to the dentist, and he thought I said Cristle.

-Oh, wow! -And I'd just gotten divorced

and needed a change, so I just never corrected him.

And now, I kinda like it.

Please don't tell him.

I am not sure I would know how.

I really like it. I like Cristle.

Thank you. I like the name Greg.

Thanks.

Would you care for some dessert?

-Not here. -Oh, yeah.

We could go get ice cream somewhere or something.

No.

Are you okay?

Are you--

Oh.

-Can you feel that? -Alright.

-Hm? -There he is. Hi.

Could I get the check, please?

Mm.

-Should we go to your place? -Yeah.

Oof!

Ooh, I definitely pulled something.

We need to hydrate so we don't cramp up.

Two Gatorades coming up, my queen.

I want blue flavored!

Rooster?

Hey, Tommy.

What are you doing here?

I live here.

Also, get some whipped cream so I can lick it off your balls!

Holy sh...

Bye-bye.