Original subtitles

This book... Is a gateway to hell.

Can you crack open the undo spell?

It's probably somewhere near the back.

Ah!

I'm a fucking cop.

Eligos!

Oh, shit!

- Nobody move. - We're just a little busy here.

Whoa! My uncle is a shaman.

But we called him El brujo.

He would say that only one man

would rise to stand against it.

Go back to hell!

- Come on. - What?

What did you do with the cop?

Aah!

Looks like you get to kill another cop after all.

Hello.

Who the hell are you?

I'm your new best friend.

Pablo: Hey.

Hey, Kelly. You don't look too hot.

Are you good?

Pull over. Now.

Aww, make sure you project it.

Don't mess up the clear coat.

That's it. Just get it all out.

Uh, I think that we should take you to the hospital.

Please.

I got a tiny concussion back there, okay?

I'll be fine. It'll pass.

Drive, miss Daisy.

Yes, sir.

Pablo? Music.

J' well, I've got to run to keep from hiding j'

I and I'm bound to keep on riding I

I and I've got one more silver dollar j'

I but I'm not... I

well, folks, we're eating a real shit sandwich now.

Pablo, I hope your weird brujo uncle can help us out,

because me no iikey being responsible for everything bad.

Yeah, me no... Iikey that either.

Uh, we're close.

Whoa, what's up with your radio?

Nothing. Like any high-quality automobile,

you just have to hit the dash a few times. Damn.

God damn it.

What is happening?

Oh, it's all good, Kelly. You just relax.

Get out of there! This is my car!

12 more payments and she's mine!

Oh, dip.

We've got a drafter. Hang on.

Whoa!

Oh! Jesus, ash, do something!

Oh, I'm gonna do something, all right.

- What are you doing? - Pablo, hit that switch.

- What? What is it? - It's nitrous.

- What? - Have you ever used this before?

Not yet. Hit it!

Here we go.

Suck on that, bitch.

What's happening?

Give it more gas! Give it more gas!

This is all the gas I got.

Don't forget, we're hauling a small house behind us.

Aww, crap.

The old bird is breaking down.

Hang on. We're next.

Keep her going, keep her going.

The brujo's property is coming up.

Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

Turn right! Turn right!

Is it gone? Where is it?

The brujo keeps talismans on his property

to help combat dark forces.

We should be good here.

That's the same thing that tried to kill us at value stop.

What the hell is it?

What the hell is it? It is hell.

- It's pure evil. - Great.

Ash: Yeah, and it's not going to stop

until we put it right back where it came from.

Woman: Demonic spirit enters a body

and they become that.

Which happened to my partner.

Yeah, I wanted to tell you that day in the diner,

but you weren't ready to believe me.

Weren't ready to believe yourself.

No, I wasn't, but I do now.

You know this guy we're both searching for?

Ash? He's behind all of this.

30 years ago at my parents' cabin in the woods,

he killed my mom and my dad,

and my sister Annie,

letting loose these horrible things.

Jesus.

And ever since then I've been looking for vengeance.

He disappeared for a long time. I thought he was gone.

We know who you are.

You are...

Oh! Oh!

You know, you and I both want the same thing...

Ash Williams.

Maybe we could help each other out.

All right.

Let's get this motherfucker.

Your end is near, motherfucker.

Well, your uncle has some freaky taste in artwork.

I can see why you left.

El brujo thought I was a fool for leaving.

He said that I was turning my back on my heritage.

Now I think maybe I did.

I was just trying to find myself

outside of this place, you know?

I wanted to do great things,

but instead I ended up working at the value stop.

Hey! Hey!

You were in the electronics department.

- That's the big time. - Pablo.

I've been expecting you.

Have you?

Two days ago, an ill wind whispered your name.

Curious how you abandon your faith,

but come back for him.

Ash Williams.

Go easy on him. He's a good kid.

Go easy?

Pablo has always taken the easy route.

Okay? You got every right to be upset at me.

I completely dismissed everything that you did here,

but I was so wrong, and I know that now.

- Do you? - When I was a kid,

you told me tales of great heroes

who fought against the darkness.

Jefes.

I think that ash is one of them.

When evil shows up, it blows up.

Still working on the slogan.

I actually kind of like it.

Come closer.

- Closer. - Aw, Jesus.

The flame is dim, but it flickers.

All right, nice.

No. It's not bright enough to illuminate what you seek.

You're weak, lazy, selfish,

forgetful, foulmouthed...

Plus, you're slow.

Old.

You have lost a step.

Hey, uh, brujo, thanks for the opinion.

Appreciate it.

Now you can take it, turn it sideways,

shove it right up the old poop chute.

You going to help us or not?

Por favor, tio.

We need you.

You okay?

I need an advil, like, right now.

The girl's unwell.

Tend to her.

Come. I'll look inside of you.

Good. Check the old prostate while you're in there?

Oh, boy, that one's just a barrel of laughs, isn't he?

Speak what you know,

while knowing that you know nothing.

Okay.

I know that I summoned something very bad,

and I'm looking to undo whatever I done did.

You making dinner there, muchacho?

Ash, you're a dolt.

Is that good?

Only because you have no idea

what power you truly possess.

Many underestimate you, don't they?

Ash: Well, at first, yeah.

But they either end up in my bed or dead.

Heh.

Total lack of self-awareness

will make it very difficult to find the answers you seek,

but we must try.

- What's your poison? - This will help you

look into those places where answers might hide.

It's called ayahuasca.

Ayahuasca?

You want me to take an acid trip?

It is a hallucinogenic medicine, not a drug trip.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Is it free?

Okay, here's mud in your eye.

Smooth.

Whew.

Pablo: Okay, so I ran to the storage shed

and I found something to take your mind off

of how crappy your head feels.

Check it out! Bam!

I don't really think this is the time for video games.

Don't worry.

We are not going to be playing.

We're going to build ash a new hand.

Surprise him!

Maybe I can call in a favor at the precinct,

check records if there's any amputees in the area.

I think I might have something a little more useful.

Why wood?

Can you even get this wet?

Oh, shit.

- Is that... - His real hand.

Okay, it just... it just moved.

It's been still for almost 30 years.

Just recently, it started twitching.

I think it's trying to find its master.

So we stand a very good chance of ending this thing.

Well, I got to say, boss, I'm feeling a bunch of nada here.

I mean, I had, like, three bagels for breakfast,

so maybe the bread is soaking everything up.

How about one more cup?

Focus.

The medicine can open your mind,

but it can also destroy it...

Trapped in your own personal hell for eternity.

Okay, so maybe half a cup.

Shh. Enough talking.

Or maybe you could just give me a little root-toot-toot

of what you're smoking there, chief.

Oh, boy.

Uh, hey, bud,

you got a little...

Oh, bud, you got a... You got a little...

A little something rolling around in there.

What is that? Oh, yeah.

Why do you have an eyeball in your mouth?

Don't... no, no. Dontn

oh, no, you... Don't eat the eyeball, brujo.

Well, I'll be!

- Oh. - Felix...

I here I go again on my own I

j' going down the only road I

j' I've ever known j'

I like a drifter j'

j' I was born to walk alone... I

- I but I've made up my mind I - just say no.

Oh!

- J' I ain't wasting no more time. I - oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Yeah, baby.

Ayahuasca!

What the fuck?

Where the hell am I?

I'm blind. I can't see!

My eyes, they won't open!

- Brujo: Ash... - Woman's voice: Help me, please, ash.

The key to looking inside yourself

is to see without sight.

Oh, yeah. Easy for you!

Young ash: After all, I'm a man.

- You're a woman. - Woman: Sure.

- What do you think, kid? - I love it, ash.

Who's there?

Woman: I feel funny about being here.

Where is she? Oh, oh! Who's there?

Who's touching me? Let go.

What's happening? Let go of me.

Young ash: After all, I'm a man...

Okay, time for the trip to be over!

Let's go back to Kansas!

Brujo: Ash, control yourself.

Stop being a bitch and act like a jefe.

You're being a bitch, dude.

Brujo: How have you survived up to this point in your life?

- What? - Something is attacking you.

What do you do?

You shoot first and think later.

Or don't think at all.

Yeah. Shoot first, think never.

Brujo: Then do that. Just be.

Exist inside yourself.

Man: Free your mind and your ass will follow.

Woman: The kingdom of heaven is within.

Aw, shit. What the hell are they?

Man: Free your mind and your ass will follow!

Back off! Yeah, that's right.

Back off or I'll shove this chainsaw so far down your throat

you'll be shooting bumper spikes till Christmas!

Brujo: Good.

Now you're taking control of your journey.

Follow that to a safe place.

Follow? How?

Brujo: It's your trip, ash.

Yeah, it is.

Man: Free your mind...

Sweet shithouse mouse. Is that...?

Brujo: Your spiritual center, ash,

the place that makes you most happy.

Jacksonville, Florida.

It's everything I ever dreamed of.

Well... sure.

So tell me, ash,

what's so special about this place?

Oh, well, actually, I've never been.

See, I booked this vacation there about 30 years ago,

but then I took a girl up to a cabin

and my life has never been the same since.

Oh. What could have been.

It is here that you will find your answer.

Thank god, 'cause I... whoa.

I got two hands.

Brujo, I need two beers!

This is so dope.

Look how tight that looks!

This is coming along so nicely.

I think I'm going to add a couple more useful items,

like a, uh, screwdriver

and a, uh... and a laser pointer.

- Yeah. - Maybe a spray nozzle

for whatever hair dye he thinks he's fooling us with.

Have you seen his pillowcase? It's totally black.

It's like his head is made of coal.

Or ashes.

You okay?

I'm fine.

I'll be right back.

What the fuck is happening to me?

Kel?

Hey, is everything all right in there?

Kel?

Kelly, you good?

Hello?

Hello?

Ahem.

Kelly, you okay?

Hey, kel, if you don't answer, I'm going to have to come in.

Whoa! Jesus Christ!

Fuck!

You scared the shit out of me.

- Are you all right? - Yes, I feel much better.

Yeah, you look much better, too.

Uh, not that you looked bad before,

just, uh, worse than now

in a, you know, kind of sick girl kind of way,

not like an ugly girl.

Anyway, you know what I mean.

Just, um, much improved.

Uh, okay, speaking of improved...

I think I just figured out my light source.

I just need a new battery.

I need some more juice.

I got it.

Thanks. Okay.

Here's where you find what you seek, ash.

Ah, that's great.

Hey, listen, if it's cool,

I just want to sit here and enjoy this place for a while.

I've always wanted to spend time in a city so nice

they named it Jacksonville.

Voice: Stop screwing around and pay attention.

You're about to discover how to undo all this.

Eli! You can speak?

In here I can. It's your trip, jefe.

Nice. You know, I've always wanted to talk to you.

Uh, just don't mention

the stuff I do in the trailer when we're there alone.

- Never. - All right, then.

Hey, grow a hand, grab a beer.

Time to drink.

Uh, where's the beer?

And what the hell is this doing here?

It's the answer you've been seeking.

You have to Bury it deep,

deep below the place where your journey began.

Oh, yeah, I'm going to take advice from a talking lizard.

Hey, brujo... brujo?

Man, you're stepping on my buzz!

Eli, quick question.

Are you a guy or a girl?

Kelly: Brujo! Brujo!

- Hurry! Help! - What?

It's Pablo. I think he got electrocuted.

I don't know. Please, he needs your help.

Okay. Okay, ash is in a good place.

Just watch him. I'll be right back, okay?

What the fuck?

Fuck, this isn't Jacksonville.

Who the hell is that?

Oh, dripping donkey balls.

Come on, man! This is my trip!

What the hell are you doing in here?

Voice: I'm in your mind now.

Get him out, ash,

or you'll be stuck in this nightmare forever.

Aah!

Jeez, what the fuck?

Aah!

Hey, I'm not a stock boy anymore.

I'm not going to clean that up, you know.

Oh, ho. Hey, you better stop.

These jars are breaking, you know.

Hey, hey, hey!

No, no, no!

Whoa!

Hello, ash.

Oh, no. Not you again.

Aah!

Get out of my mind, will you?

Too late. This is how you die!

End the nightmare now!

Or he will take full control of your mind.

Aww, what do you know?

You got a brain the size of a pea.

He hasn't won yet.

It's still your trip, ash.

Hey, yeah. Thanks for the reminder.

Whoa, whoa!

My house, my rules.

Lil' Lori gonna watch you die.

Not today, dollface.

Lil' Lori... ah!

Hey, how's that working for you?

Yeah, who's fucking with who now, huh?

Stop.

Stop.

What's that?

Oh, you can't breathe?

- Stop. - Well, that's the idea, dickwad.

- Aah! Help! - Ash, stop!

- Stop. - What did I tell you?

- Ash, stop! Please! - Stop!

Ash!

I'm sorry.

J' free your mind and your ass will follow I

j“ the kingdom of heaven is within j'

j' free your mind and your ass will follow I

j' the kingdom of heaven is within j“

j' free your mind I

I and your ass will follow I

j“ the kingdom of heaven is within j'

j' yeah I

meml

J' free your mind I

j' your ass will follow I

j' the kingdom of heaven is within. J'