Original subtitles

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, faraway,

the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

And throughout the land, everyone was happy

until the sun went down

and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment

that took hold each and every night.

Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother

who had them lock the young princess away in a tower,

there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming.

It was he who would chance the perilous journey

through blistering cold and scorching desert,

traveling for many days and nights,

risking life and limb

to reach the Dragon's Keep.

For he was the bravest

and most handsome...

in all the land.

And it was destiny that his kiss

would break the dreaded curse.

He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower

to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,

pull back the gossamer curtains to find her--

What?

- Princess Fiona? - No!

Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?

She's on her honeymoon.

Honeymoon? With whom?

♪ So, she said "What's the problem, baby?" ♪

♪ What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love ♪

♪ Think about it Every time I think about it ♪

♪ Can't stop thinking 'bout it ♪

♪ How much longer will it take To cure this? ♪

♪ Just to cure it 'Cause I can't ignore it if it's love ♪

♪ Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothin' 'bout love... ♪

♪ Come on, come on The world will follow after ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ Everybody's after love... ♪

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

♪ Meltin' under blue skies Belting out sunlight, shimmering love... ♪

♪ To this strawberry ice cream Never-ever-ender ♪

♪ All this love ♪

♪ Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love ♪

♪ These lines of lightnin' Mean we're never alone ♪

♪ Never alone... ♪

♪ Jump a little higher ♪

♪ Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter... ♪

Hi-yah!

♪ We're accidentally in love... ♪

♪ Accidentally in love ♪

♪ Accidentally, I'm in love, I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love ♪

♪ Accidentally in love ♪

♪ I'm in love... ♪

It's so good to be home!

Ooh!

Just you and me and--

♪ One is the loneliest number That you'll ever do ♪

♪ Two can be as bad as one ♪

Donkey?

Shrek! Fiona!

Well, aren't you two a sight for sore eyes!

Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine.

And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How about a side of sugar for the steed?

Donkey, what are you doing here?

I was just taking care of your love nest for you.

Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants.

Yeah, and feeding the fish.

I don't have any fish.

You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona.

That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your...

Oh, will you look at the time. Well, I guess you'd better be going.

Don't you want to tell me about your trip?

Or how about a game of Parcheesi?

Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?

Oh, yeah, that.

I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately.

So I thought I'd move back in with you guys.

Well, you know we're always happy to see you, Donkey.

But Fiona and I are married now.

We need a little time, you know, to be together.

Just with each other.

Alone.

Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing.

I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.

- Donkey! - Yes, roomie?

You're bothering me.

Oh, okay. Uh, all right, cool. I guess, uh...

Me and Pinocchio was just going to try to catch a tournament, anyway.

So, uh, maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something.

He'll be fine. Now, where were we?

Ooh. I think I remember.

Donkey!

I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going.

But what do you want me to tell these guys?

Enough, Reggie.

"Dearest Princess Fiona.

You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away

for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage

at which time the King

will bestow his royal blessing upon you and your, uh--

Uh, Prince Charming.

Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away.

Aka Mom and Dad."

Mom and Dad?

- Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come?

- We're not going. - What?

I mean, don't you think they might be a bit

shocked to see you like this?

Well, they might be a bit surprised.

But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me.

And don't worry. They're gonna love you too.

Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.

Will you stop it. They're not like that.

Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance.

Oh, to do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?

No! They just want to give you their blessing.

Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?

Well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes!

And who says I want to be part of this family?

Uh, you did! When you married me!

Well, there's some fine print for you!

So-- So that's it. You won't come?

Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going and that's final!

Hey, come on, Shrek! We don't want to hit traffic!

Don't worry! We'll take care of everything.

Hey, wait for me!

♪ All right, hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! ♪

♪ Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! ♪

♪ Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! ♪

♪ Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! ♪

♪ Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! ♪

♪ Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! ♪

♪ Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! ♪

♪ Rawhide! ♪

Yeehaw!

- Are we there yet? - No.

- Are we there yet? - Not yet.

- Okay, are we there yet? - No.

- Are we there yet? - No!

- Are we there yet? - Yes.

- Really? - No!

- Are we there yet? - No!

- Are we there yet? - No, we are not!

- Are we there yet? - No!

- Are we there yet? - Are we there yet?

That's not funny.

That's really immature.

This is why nobody likes ogres.

All right! Your loss!

- I'm gonna just stop talking! - Finally!

But this is taking forever, Shrek. There ain't no in-flight movie or nothing.

The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.

That's where we're going. Far, far...

...away!

All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored.

Well, find a way to entertain yourself.

For five minutes,

could you not be yourself for five minutes!

Are we there yet?

- Yes! - Oh, finally!

Wow!

It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.

Hey, good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later!

- Star maps! Get your star maps! - Ooh, panty hose!

We are definitely not in the swamp anymore.

Halt.

♪ Well, I talk about it, talk about it Talk about it, talk about it... ♪

Hey, everyone look!

Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? Yeah. You working that hat.

Swimming pools! Movie stars!

Announcing the long-awaited return

of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband.

Well, this is it.

- This is it. - This is it.

This is it.

Uh, why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car.

So...

...you still think this is a good idea?

Of course. Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us.

Who on earth are they?

I think that's our little girl.

That's not little. That's a really big problem.

Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?

Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look--

Happy now? We came. We saw them.

Now let's go before they light the torches.

- They're my parents. - Hello, they locked you in a tower.

Hey, that was for my own--

Good! Now here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home.

Harold, we have to be--

Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it.

Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be--

A disaster! There is no way--

- You can do this. - But I really--

- Really-- - Really--

Don't-- Want-- To-- Be--

Here!

Mom,

Dad...

I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.

Well, um--

It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from.

Hmm.

Excuse me.

Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona?

That's good.

- Uh... - I guess not.

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I am.

Hey, what's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting.

I had the hardest time finding this place.

No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!

No, no, no, Dad. Dad, it's all right. It's all right. He's with us.

- He helped rescue me from the dragon. - Yep, that's me, the noble steed.

Hey, waiter! How about a bowl for the steed?

Oh, boy.

- Um, Shrek? - Yeah?

Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs. Q.

- Mmm. - No, no, no.

Darling.

Oh!

So, Fiona, tell us about where you live.

Well, Shrek owns his own land.

- Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes!

It's in an enchanted forest,

abundant in squirrels

and cute little duckies and--

What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp.

- Donkey! - An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original.

Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.

Ah...

It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?

- Indeed. I just started eating. - Harold!

- What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, okay?

- Well, for his type, yes. - My type?

I got to go to the bathroom.

- Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it.

- Bon appétit! - Oh, Mexican food! My favorite.

Well, let's not just sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in.

Don't mind if I do, Lillian.

So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--

Ogres, yes!

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?

Oh, no! No! Of course, not!

That is, assuming you don't eat your own young!

- Dad! - Oh, no.

We usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower!

- Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her.

Oh, aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle.

You wouldn't understand. You're not her father!

It's so nice to have the family together for dinner.

- Harold! - Shrek!

- Fiona! - Fiona!

- Mom! - Harold--

Donkey!

♪ Your fallen tears have called to me ♪

♪ So, here comes my sweet remedy ♪

♪ I know what every princess needs ♪

♪ For her to live life happily ♪

Oh, my dear.

Oh, look at you.

You're all, um,

grown up.

Um, who are you?

Oh, sweet pea!

I'm your fairy godmother.

I have a fairy godmother?

Now don't worry. I'm here to make it all better.

With just a...

♪ Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone ♪

♪ With a flick of the wrist And just a flash ♪

♪ You'll land a prince With a ton of cash ♪

♪ A high-priced dress Made by mice no less ♪

♪ Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress ♪

♪ Your worries will vanish Your soul will cleanse ♪

♪ Confide in Your very own furniture friends ♪

♪ We'll help you set a new fashion trend ♪

♪ I'll make you fancy ♪

♪ I'll make you great ♪

♪ The kind of gal the prince would date! ♪

♪ They'll write your name On the bathroom wall... ♪

"For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!"

♪ A sporty carriage to ride in style Sexy man-boy chauffeur, "Kyle" ♪

♪ Banish your blemishes, tooth decay Cellulite thighs will fade away ♪

♪ And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon frisé! ♪

♪ Nip and tuck, here and there ♪

♪ To land that prince With the perfect hair ♪

♪ Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get the prince with the sexy tush ♪

♪ Lucky day, hunk buffet ♪

♪ You and your prince Take a roll in the hay ♪

♪ You can spoon on the moon With the prince to this tune ♪

♪ Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs ♪

♪ Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassée! ♪

♪ Nip and tuck, here and there ♪

♪ To land that prince With the perfect hair ♪

Stop!

Look...

Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother,

but I really don't need all this.

- Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway.

Fiona? Fiona!

Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo.

Oh, uh--

Fairy Godmother, furniture,

I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.

Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen?

Shrek is the one who rescued me.

But that can't be right.

Oh, great, more relatives.

She's just trying to help.

Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.

- What? - Leaving? I don't want to leave.

When did you decide this?

Shortly after arriving.

Look, I-- I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, that's all right. Uh, I need to go, anyway.

But remember, dear. If you should ever need me,

happiness is just a teardrop away.

Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need.

Happy, happy, happy!

So I see.

Let's go, Kyle.

Very nice, Shrek.

What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.

You could have at least tried to get along with my father.

Somehow I don't think I was gonna get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.

Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?

Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?

You're unbelievable!

You're behaving like a--

Go on! Say it!

Like an ogre!

Here's a news flash for you!

Whether your parents like it or not,

I am an ogre!

And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change.

I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.

That's real smooth, Shrek.

"I'm an ogre!"

- I knew this would happen. - You should. You started it.

I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really. He's the ogre, not me.

I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally.

This is Fiona's choice.

Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince we picked out for her.

I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this-- this thing?

Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't.

I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold.

Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable.

Don't you remember when we were young

and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond...

...and they were in bloom...

Our first kiss.

It's not the same!

I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster!

Oh, stop being such a drama king.

Fine! Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!

La-di-da-di-da-di-da!

Isn't it all wonderful? I'd like to know how it could get any worse!

Hello, Harold.

- What happened? - Oh, n-nothing!

Nothing, dear. Just the old, uh, crusade wound playing up a bit.

I'll, um, just stretch it out here for a while.

You better get in. We need to talk.

Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed.

Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.

So, um, how about-- We-- We make this a quick visit. What?

Oh. Oh, h-hello.

So, what's new?

You remember my son, Prince Charming?

Charming! Oh, is that you? My gosh! It's been years.

I-- When-- When did you get back?

Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.

After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert,

I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower--

Mommy can handle this.

He endures blistering winds and scorching desert!

He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower!

- But-- But-- - And what does he find?

Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess...

- If I can just... - ...is already married.

It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time.

Stop the car!

Harold...

...you force me to do something I really don't want to do.

Where are we?

Hi there. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?

My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy.

Uh, okay, two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo, chili rings--

I'll have the Medieval Meal.

Yeah, one Medieval Meal and, Harold, curly fries?

- Uh, no. No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then?

- What do you want? - No, really, I'm fine.

Your order, Fairy Godmother.

And this comes with the Medieval Meal.

Here you are, dear.

You see, we made a deal, Harold,

and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.

Indeed not.

So, Fiona and Charming will be together.

Yes.

Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best.

Not only for your daughter...

...but for your Kingdom.

Well, what am I supposed to do about it?

Use your imagination.

Oh.

Uh, come on in, Your Majesty.

♪ I like my town ♪

♪ With a little drop of poison ♪

♪ Nobody knows... ♪

- Excuse me. - Hey, do I know you?

Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else.

Uh, excuse me. I-I-- I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.

Ah, there you are. Right.

Uh, you see, I-- I need to have someone taken care of.

- Who's the guy? - Well, he-- he's not a guy, per se.

Um, he's an ogre.

Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.

There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that,

and, frankly, he don't like to be disturbed.

Where could I find him?

H-Hello?

Who dares enter my room?

Sorry! I-- I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to

about an ogre problem?

You are told correct.

But for this, I charge a great deal of money.

Would this be enough?

Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty.

Just tell me where I can find this ogre.

♪ Everyone says I'm getting down too low... ♪

♪ Everyone says "You just got to let it go" ♪

♪ You just got to let it go ♪

♪ I need some sleep ♪

♪ Time to put the old horse down ♪

♪ I'm in too deep ♪

♪ And the wheels keep spinning 'round ♪

♪ Everyone says ♪

♪ "You just got to let it go" ♪

Dear Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.

Dear diary,

Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow

but Dad says I can't go.

He never lets me out after sunset.

Dad says I'm going away for a while.

Must be like some finishing school or something.

Mom says that when I'm old enough,

my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower

and bring me back to my family.

And we'll all live happily ever after.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming...

...Charming.

S-Sorry. Uh, I-- I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

No, no, no. I was just reading a, uh-- a scary book.

I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier.

- Okay? - I don't know what came over me.

Do you suppose we could just pretend it never happened and start over?

Look, Your Majesty, I--

Please, call me Dad.

Dad, we both acted like ogres.

Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other?

Excellent idea.

I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt.

Little father-son time?

I know it would mean the world to Fiona.

Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak?

Face it, Donkey. We're lost.

We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly.

What did he say? "Head to the deepest, darkest part of the woods."

- Aye. - "Past the sinister trees

- with those scary-looking branches." - Check.

Yeah and there's that bush shaped like Shirley Bassey.

We passed that bush three times already!

You were the one who said you didn't want to stop and get directions.

Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad

and I end up lost in the woods with you!

You don't have to get all huffy with me, I'm only trying to help.

I know! I know.

I'm sorry, all right?

Hey, don't worry about it.

I just really need to make things work with this guy.

Yeah, sure. Now, let's go bond with Daddy.

Well, well, well, Donkey.

I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring?

Man, what are you talking about? I ain't purring.

Sure. What's next? A hug?

Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.

What you think I am, some kind of--

Ha-ha! Fear me. If you dare.

Hey, look. A little cat.

- Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey.

Come here, little kitty kitty kitty.

Come on, little kitty.

Come here. Come here, little kitty.

- Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Oh, come on! Oh!

Get it off! Oh, get it off!

No! Oh!

- Hold on, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off!

Shrek, hold still!

Did I miss?

No, you got them.

Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...

Puss in Boots.

I'll kill that cat!

Hair ball.

Oh, that is nasty.

What do you reckon we should do with him?

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here.

Give him the Bob Barker treatment.

Oh, mother, no. Por favor.

Please, I implore you. It was nothing personal señor.

I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she's sick.

And my father lives off the garbage.

The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Fiona's father paid you to do this?

The rich King? Si.

Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.

Oh, come on, Shrek. Don't feel bad.

Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.

Gee, thanks.

Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.

Si! That's what the King said.

Oh, uh-- Sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.

Shrek, Fiona knows you'll do anything for her.

Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could.

I just-- I just wish I could make her happy.

Hold the phone.

Happiness.

A tear drop away.

Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.

Oh, man, where do I begin?

First, it was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans.

I ain't never got over that.

Then this fool went off and had a party

and he have all the guests trying to pin a tail on me.

Then they all got drunk and started beating me with a stick going,

"Piñata! Piñata!"

What is a piñata, anyway?

No, Donkey! I need you to cry!

Yeah, well, don't go projecting on me.

I know you're feeling bad but you gotta let your own--

You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of...

What? Is it on? Is it on?

This is Fairy Godmother.

I'm either away from my desk or with a client.

But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you a personal appointment.

Have a "happy ever after."

Oh.

Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?

All right! That's more like it!

Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure!

♪ Ain't no stoppin' us now ♪

- ♪ Whoo! We're on the move! ♪ - Stop, Ogre!

- I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets.

On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life

as you have spared me mine.

I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.

Let's go, Shrek.

Shrek?

- Shrek! - Oh, come on, Donkey. Look at him

in his wee little boots.

You know, how many cats can wear boots?

Honestly?

- Aw, let's keep him. - Say what?

Aw, listen, he's purring.

- Oh, so now it's cute? - Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.

Lighten up? Oh, I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up!

Shrek.

Shrek?

Well, they're both festive, aren't they?

What do you think, Harold?

Um, yes, yes. Fine. Fine.

Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball.

Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it really matters.

How do we know there's even going to be a ball?

Mom! Dad!

- Oh, hello, dear. - Um, what's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.

Mom, have you seen Shrek?

I haven't. You should ask your father.

Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning.

- Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um--

Hmm. Exquisite. What do you call this dish?

That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty.

Ah, yes. Very good, then.

- Carry on, Cedric. - Dad?

- Dad? Have you seen Shrek? - Uh, no, I haven't, dear.

I-- I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice mud hole to cool down in.

You know, after your little spat last night.

Oh. You heard that, huh?

Darling, the whole kingdom heard you.

I mean, after all it is in his nature to be, well, a bit of a brute.

Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon.

Well, what did you expect? I mean, look at what he's done to you.

Shrek loves me for who I am.

I would think you'd be happy for me.

Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you.

Maybe you should do the same.

- No, really? - Mm-hmm.

Shh, shh, shh...

Whoa.

Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's just back away slowly.

That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.

She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom.

Then why don't we pop in there for a spell?

Spell.

He makes me laugh.

Oh.

Hi. I'm here to see the--

The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in.

Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!

Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away.

Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?

That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.

The union?

We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.

Oh! Oh, right.

Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?

Uh, a little.

We-- We don't even have dental.

They don't even have dental.

Okay. We're just gonna have a look around.

Oh, by the way,

I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here.

- Know what I'm saying? Huh? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh?

- Stop it. - Of course. Go right in.

A drop of desire.

Naughty.

A pinch of passion.

And just a hint of lust.

Excuse me.

Sorry to barge in like this but--

What in Grimm's name are you doing here?

Well...

...it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.

And there's some question as to why that is?

Well, let's explore that, shall we?

Ah. P. P. P. P. Princess. Cinderella.

Here we are. "Lived happily ever after."

Oh!

No ogres.

Let's see. Snow White.

A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres.

Sleeping Beauty. Ooh, no ogres.

Hansel and Gretel? No. Thumbelina? No.

The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman.

No, no, no, no, no!

You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.

All right, look, lady!

Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me!

Your Monte Cristo and coffee. Oh, sorry.

Ah! That's okay. We were just leaving.

Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.

Just go.

Come on, guys.

TGIF, eh, buddy?

Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac?

Oh!

Hey, man. You wanna get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks

out of my face? Man, that stinks!

Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses.

- Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan.

Already our minds are becoming one.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there.

Listen, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.

Shrek, this is a bad idea.

Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch.

Puss, do you think you could get to those on top?

No problema, boss.

In one of my nine lives I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela.

Shrek, are you off your nut?

Donkey, keep watch.

Keep watch? Yeah. I'm gonna keep watch.

I'll watch that wicked witch come down here and whammy zammy a world of hurt

all up your backside.

I'm gonna laugh too. If she do, I'm gonna be giggling to myself.

- What do you see? - Toadstool softener?

Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution

for marital problems.

- "Elfa Seltzer"? - Uh-uh.

"Hex Lax"?

No! Try "handsome".

Sorry. No handsome.

Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?

Well, what does it do?

It says "Beauty Divine."

You know, in some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures.

Especially us talking ones.

Donkey!

That'll have to do. We've got company.

Can we get on with this?

Hurry!

Whoa!

Nice catch, Donkey!

Finally! A good use for your mouth.

Come on!

♪ You spurn my natural emotions ♪

♪ You make me feel like dirt And I'm hurt... ♪

♪ And if I start a commotion ♪

♪ I run the risk of losing you And that's worse... ♪

♪ Ever fallen in love with someone ♪

♪ Ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in ♪

♪ In love with someone You shouldn't've fallen in love with... ♪

♪ Ever fallen in love with someone ♪

♪ Ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in... ♪

♪ Fallen in love with... ♪

♪ Ever fallen in love with someone You shouldn't've fallen in love with ♪

Look, I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up!

Yes, Godmother.

And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate.

Mother!

Charming. Sweetheart.

Oh, this isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working.

Whoa. What happened here?

The ogre, that's what.

What? Where is he, Mom?

I shall rend his head from his shoulders.

I will smite him where he stands.

He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!

Oh, put it away, junior! You're still gonna be king.

We're just gonna have to come up with something smarter. That's all.

Pardon? Um--

Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.

What?

Oh.

I do believe we can make this work to our advantage.

"Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength.

For you and your true love.

If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine.

Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."

- You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too.

Hey, man. This don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over.

So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here?

It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be?

Aha, see, you're allergic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction.

And if you think that I'm gonna be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest,

think again!

Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion,

allow me to take the first sip.

It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I don't think so. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it.

That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle.

How do you feel?

I don't feel any different. I look any different?

You still look like an ass to me.

Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.

Well, here's to us, Fiona.

Shrek, you drink that, there's no going back.

I know.

- But no more wallowing in the mud? - I know.

- And no more itchy butt crack? - I know!

- But you love being an ogre! - I know!

But I love Fiona more.

Shrek, no! Wait!

Whoo, cold. Got to be.

Shrek I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.

Maybe it's a dud.

Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.

Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I think I feel something coming on.

I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

I don't want to die!

Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting!

I'm melting!

It's just the rain, Donkey.

Oh.

Oh, Shrek, don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy,

and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you.

It'll be better in the morning. You'll see.

♪ The sun will come out ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ Bet your bottom... ♪

"Bet my bottom?"

I'm coming, Elizabeth!

Donkey? Are-- Are you all right?

Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

Don-- Donkey...

There you are! We missed you at dinner.

What is it, darling?

Dad, I've been thinking about what you said.

And I'm gonna set things right.

Ah, excellent! That's my girl.

It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.

I'm gonna go out and find him.

And then we're gonna go back to the swamp where we belong.

Fiona, please!

Uh, let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now.

- Fiona! - Fiona!

Look, I told you he was here.

Look at him! Shh! Quiet. Look at him.

Good morning, sleepyhead.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

We love your kitty.

My head.

- Here, I fetched you a pail of water. - Thanks.

Whoa.

A cute button nose?

Thick, wavy locks?

Taut, round buttocks?

I'm-- I'm--

- Gorgeous. - I'll say.

I'm Jill. What's your name?

Um, Shrek.

- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - Uh--

- You're so tense. - I want to rub his shoulders.

- I got it covered, thanks. - I don't have anything to rub.

Well, get in line.

Have-- Have you ladies seen my donkey?

Who are you calling Donkey?

- Donkey? You're a-- - A stallion, baby!

I can whinny.

I can count.

Look at me, Shrek. I'm trotting.

That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff?

"Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss. It's very bad."

"Warning: Side effects may include

burning, itching, oozing, weeping.

Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders."

♪ I'm trotting, I'm trotting I'm trotting in place! Yeah! ♪

What?

Señor, "To make the effects of this potion permanent,

the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight."

Midnight? Why is it always midnight?

- Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love.

I'll be true... enough.

Look, ladies, I already have a true love.

Aw.

And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess.

And let's face it, you are a lot easier on the eyes,

but inside you're still the same old mean, salty...

- Easy. All right. - ...cantankerous, stanky, foul,

angry ogre you always been.

And you're still the same annoying donkey.

Yeah.

Well,

look out, Princess. Here comes the new me.

Uh, first things first. We need to get you out of those clothes.

- Ready? - Ready.

Driver, stop!

Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over!

I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again?

Oh, you poor creature. Is there anything I can do for you?

Well, I guess there is one thing.

Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers.

- Not bad. - Not bad at all.

Father? Is everything all right, Father?

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday, I will repay you.

Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ♪

- ♪ Turn and face the strange ♪ - ♪ Ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ Don't want to be a richer one ♪

♪ Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes... ♪

♪ Just gonna have to be a different man ♪

♪ Time may change me ♪

♪ But I can't trace time ♪

Halt!

Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her.

♪ Still don't know What I was looking for... ♪

♪ Every time I thought I'd got it made ♪

♪ It seemed the taste was not so sweet... ♪

Fiona!

Shrek?

Shrek!

Fiona.

Hello, handsome.

Shrek!

Princess!

- Donkey? - Wow! That potion worked on you, too, huh?

- W-What potion? - It's kind of a long story,

but Shrek and I took some magic potion, and, well, now, we're sexy!

Shrek?

For you, baby, I could be.

- Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek?

He just went inside looking for you.

Shrek!

Fiona!

Fiona!

You wanna dance, pretty boy?

Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife?

Fiona.

Shrek?

Aye, Fiona. It is me.

What happened to your voice?

Uh, the potion changed a lot of things, Fiona,

but not the way I feel about you.

Fiona?

- Charming? - Uh, do you think so?

Dad, I was so hoping you'd approve.

Um, who are you?

Mom, it's me, Shrek.

I know you never get a second chance at a first impression

but, well, what do you think?

Fiona! Fiona!

Fiona!

Fiona!

- Fiona! - "Fiona! Fiona!"

Oh, shoot!

I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.

Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough?

I just wanted her to be happy.

And now she can be.

Oh, sweetheart.

She's finally found the prince of her dreams.

But look at me.

Look what I've done for her.

It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek.

She's a princess, and you're an ogre.

That's something no amount of potion is ever going to change.

But...

I love her.

If you really love her,

you'll let her go.

- Shrek? - Señor.

Hey, what's going on? Where you going?

You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold?

♪ People just ain't no good ♪

♪ I think that's well understood... ♪

There you go, boys.

Just leave the bottle, Doris.

Hey, why the long face?

It was all just a stupid mistake.

I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.

I hate Mondays.

I can't believe you're gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.

What choice do I have?

She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.

Oh, come on now. Is he really that good-looking?

Are you kidding? He's gorgeous.

He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.

Mmm. He sounds dreamy.

You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better.

Look, guys, it's for the best.

Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of.

Everybody wins.

Except for you.

I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.

Aye.

And that's why I have to let her go.

Um-- Excuse me...

is-- is she here?

She's, uh, in the back.

Oh, hello again.

Uh, Fairy Godmother. Charming.

You better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.

Well, uh-- I'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to Prince Charming.

Um, FYI, not my fault.

No, no, of course it's not, dear.

I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre?

No! No, it's nobody's fault.

Um, perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off. Okay?

What?

You can't force someone to fall in love.

I beg to differ.

I do it all the time.

Have Fiona drink this, and she'll fall in love

with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.

- Uh-- No. - What did you say?

I-- I can't. I-- I won't do it.

Oh, yes, you will.

If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after,

and I can take it away just as easily.

Is that what you want?

Is it?

- N-- No. - Good boy.

Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball.

He's hopeless. You know, he's all high in the front.

He can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back.

- Oh, thank you, Mother. - Mother?

Uh, Mary! A talking horse!

The ogre!

Stop them!

Thieves! Bandits!

Stop them!

Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the Maximus

here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball Blowout!

The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them

like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.

Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.

And, oh, my, the outfits look gorgeous!

Look! Hansel and Gretel!

What the heck are the crumbs for?

And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!

Oh, aren't they adorable?

Whoa!

Here comes Sleeping Beauty! Oh!

Tired old thing.

Who's this? Who's this? Who is this?

Oh! It's the one, it's the only,

it's the Fairy Godmother!

Hello, Far, Far Away!

Can I get a, "Whoop, whoop"?

Whoop, whoop!

May all your endings be happy and--

Well, you know the rest!

We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far A way Ball

after these messages.

I hate these ball shows.

They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel of Torture.

I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.

Ah, whizzes on you guys.

Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!

No, no, to your left. Your left!

- Tonight on Knights... - Ah! Now here's a good show!

We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup.

It's time for the men in steel to teach these madcap mammals

their "devil may mare" attitudes just won't fly.

All right, all right! Let me go!

Why you grabbing me? Ow! Police brutality! Police brutality!

Come on!

- I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you.

Ow! Ow!

Will they get away with it or did someone let the cat out of the bag?

You, capitalist pig dogs!

Get it off!

- Catnip. - That's, uh, not mine.

Hold on, all right?

- Find Princess Fiona! - Come on, guy.

I'm a donkey!

Tell her Shrek-- I'm her husband, Shrek!

- Ow, ow! - Knights.

Quick! Rewind it!

Shrek-- I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow, ow!

Darling?

Ah, I thought I might find you here.

How about a nice, hot cup of tea before the ball?

I'm not going.

B-B-But the-- the whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.

There's just one problem.

That's not my husband.

I mean, look at him.

Yes, he is a bit different, but, uh, people change for the ones they love.

You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother.

Change?

He's completely lost his mind.

Darling, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance?

I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.

But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad.

I'd give anything to have him back.

Uh, darling, that's mine. Decaf.

Otherwise I'm up all night.

Mmm. Thanks.

I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go!

What about my Miranda rights?

You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent.

Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!

Donkey, you have the right to remain silent.

What you lack is the capacity.

I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.

Shrek? Donkey?

Too late.

Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here.

Oh!

Fire in the hole!

Look out below!

Quick, tell a lie.

- Well, uh, what should I say? - Anything, but quick!

Say something crazy like, "I'm wearing ladies' underwear."

I'm-- I am wearing ladies' underwear.

Are you?

I most certainly am not!

It looks like you most certainly am are.

- I am not! - What kind?

- It's a thong! - Ow!

They're briefs.

- Are not. - Are too.

- Are not! - Are too!

Here we go. Hang tight.

Hey, wait, wait, wait! Ow, ow! Hey, hey, hey!

Ow!

- Excuse me? - What? Puss!

- Mm-hmm? - Pardon me, would you mind letting me go?

Sorry, boss.

Quit messing around. We've got to stop that kiss!

I thought you was going to let her go.

I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona.

Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around.

But that's impossible. We'll never get in.

The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!

Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick.

What?

Do you still know the Muffin Man?

Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?

Because we're gonna need flour.

Lots and lots of flour.

Gingy!

Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill.

It's alive!

Whoa.

Run, run, run as fast you can!

Go, baby, go!

There it is, Mongo. To the castle.

No, no, no, you great stupid pastry!

Come on!

- Mongo, down here. Look at the pony. - Ooh.

Oh!

That's right, follow the pretty pony.

Pretty pony wants to play at the castle.

Pretty pony.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Princess Fiona

and her new husband, Prince Shrek.

Shrek, what are you doing?

I'm just playing the part, Fiona.

Is that glitter on your lips?

Mmm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste?

Ugh! What is with you?

But, Muffin Cake...

C Minor, put it in C Minor.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I'd like to dedicate this song to

Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.

Fiona, my princess.

Will you honor me with a dance?

♪ Where have all the good men gone ♪

♪ And where are all the gods... ♪

Dance! Dance!

♪ Where's the streetwise Hercules ♪

♪ To fight the rising odds... ♪

Since when do you dance?

Fiona, my dearest. If there's one thing I know,

it's that love is full of surprises.

♪ Late at night I toss and I turn ♪

♪ And I dream of what I need... ♪

Hit it!

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ I need a hero... ♪

All right, big fellow! Let's crash this party!

Man the catapults!

Ready! Fire!

Brace yourselves!

Ooh, purty.

Not the gumdrop button!

Incoming!

All right!

♪ Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy... ♪

Go, Mongo! Go!

Man the cauldrons!

♪ Racing on the thunder And rising with the heat ♪

After you, Mongo.

That's it. Heave!

- Foam! - Watch out!

Shrek!

More heat, less foam!

♪ Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above ♪

♪ Out where the lightning splits the sea ♪

♪ I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me... ♪

Heave!

Foam!

No!

Come on!

No, no!

Be good.

He needs me! Let me go!

♪ I need a hero ♪

Donkey.

Puss!

Go, go! Your lady needs you. Go!

Today, I repay my debt.

Aw.

En garde!

♪ He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast ♪

♪ And he's gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

- ♪ I need a hero ♪ - Stop!

Hey, you.

- Back away from my wife. - Shrek?

You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone.

- Now! - Pigs und blanket!

Pinocchio, get the wand!

I see London. I see France.

I'm a real boy!

Ja!

Catch!

Donkey!

I'm a real boy.

Ha!

That's mine! That's mine!

Pray for mercy, from Puss...

And Donkey!

She's taken the potion! Kiss her now!

No!

Hi-yah!

- Fiona. - Shrek.

Harold, you were supposed to give her the potion!

Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.

- Mommy! - Mommy?

I told you, ogres don't live happily ever after.

Harold!

- Shrek! - No!

Ooh!

Ha!

Oh...

Dad.

Daddy...

- Is he... - Yup.

He croaked.

Harold?

Dad?

- I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - Man, and he gave you a hard time!

- Donkey! - No, no, he's right. I'm sorry...

...to both of you.

I only wanted what was best for Fiona.

But I can see now

she already has it.

Shrek, Fiona,

will you accept an old frog's apologies

and my blessing?

- Harold... - I'm sorry, Lillian.

I just wish I could be the man you deserve.

You're more that man today than you ever were,

warts and all.

Boss, the Happily Ever After Potion!

Midnight!

Fiona, is this what you want?

- To be this way forever? - What?

'Cause if you kiss me now,

we can stay like this.

You'd do that?

- For me? - Yes.

I want what any princess wants,

to live happily ever after...

...with the ogre I married.

Whatever happens, I must not cry.

You cannot make me cry.

No. No.

No, no. No!

Ow!

No. No!

Oh, no.

Ugh.

Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.

Now, where were we?

Ooh! I remember.

Hey!

Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?

Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it!

Puss and Donkey, y'all...

♪ She's into superstitions ♪

♪ Black cats and voodoo dolls ♪

- Sing it, Puss! - ♪ I feel a premonition ♪

♪ That girl's gonna make me fall ♪

Here we go!

♪ She's into new sensations ♪

♪ New kicks in the candlelight ♪

♪ She's got a new addiction ♪

♪ For every day and night ♪

♪ She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain ♪

♪ She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain ♪

♪ Like a bullet to your brain ♪

♪ Upside, inside out She's livin' la vida loca... ♪

Hey, gorgeous!

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color mocha ♪

- What she do? - ♪ She will wear you out ♪

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

- She living it loca! - ♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

- Sing it one more time now! - ♪ She's livin' la vida loca ♪

Ow! Ay, Donkey, that's Spanish!

Break it down!

♪ She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ She will wear you out Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color mocha ♪

♪ She will wear you out ♪

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

- ♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪ - Sing it one more time, now!

♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪

♪ Where have all the good men gone? And where are all the gods? ♪

♪ Where's the street-wise Hercules To fight the rising odds? ♪

♪ Isn't there a white knight Upon a fiery steed? ♪

♪ Late at night I toss and turn And dream of what I need ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero 'Til the morning light ♪

♪ He's gotta be sure And it's gotta be soon ♪

- ♪ And he's gotta be larger than life ♪ - ♪ Larger than life ♪

♪ Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy ♪

♪ Somewhere just beyond my reach There's someone reaching back for me ♪

♪ Racing on the thunder Rising with the heat ♪

♪ It's gonna take a superman To sweep me off my feet ♪

♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ I'm holding out for a hero 'Til the morning light ♪

♪ He's gotta be sure And it's gotta be soon ♪

- ♪ And he's gotta be larger than life ♪ - ♪ Larger than life ♪

♪ All by myself ♪

♪ Don't wanna be ♪

♪ All by myself anymore ♪

Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us.

Oh, thanks, compadre. I'm-- I'm just not in the mood.

We will cheer you up. Find you a nice, uh, burro.

Hey, baby!

Whoo!

Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right!

Baby, where you been?

I'm sorry too. I should have stayed, but Shrek had this thing he had to do...

What? Say that one more time.

What you talking about? Are you serious?

Look at our little mutant babies!

I got to get a job.

♪ I'm strange and you're strange ♪

♪ Don't want you to change ♪

♪ No way ♪

♪ Ah ha ha ah ♪

♪ Why can't I explain? ♪

♪ Flying to the sun without a plane ♪

♪ When you're here ♪

♪ Ah ha ha ah ♪

♪ And don't you worry 'bout me, babe ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm right here for you to say ♪

♪ Hope you know you inspire me ♪

♪ You're a flower and I'm a bee ♪

♪ I need you ♪

♪ Ah ha ha ah ♪

♪ All this you do for free ♪

♪ Give me hope and I can see ♪

♪ You're so true ♪

♪ Ah ha ha ah ♪

♪ And don't you worry 'bout me, babe ♪

♪ Don't you worry 'bout me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm right there for you to say ♪

♪ You're strange and I'm strange ♪

♪ Don't want you to change ♪

♪ No way ♪

♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪

♪ And don't you worry 'bout me, babe ♪

♪ Don't you worry 'bout me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm right here for you to say ♪

♪ To say ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me to Funkytown? ♪

♪ Won't you take me down to Funkytown? ♪

- ♪ Won't you take me to ♪ - ♪ Funkytown ♪

- ♪ Won't you take me to ♪ - ♪ Funkytown? ♪

- ♪ Won't you take me to ♪ - ♪ Funkytown? ♪

- ♪ Won't you take me to ♪ - ♪ Funkytown? ♪

♪ Well, I talk about it, talk about it Talk about it, talk about it ♪

♪ Talk about, talk about Talk about movin' ♪

♪ Gotta move on ♪

♪ Gotta move on ♪

♪ She said I've gotta be honest ♪

♪ You're wasting your time If you're fishing round here ♪

♪ And I said you must be mistaken ♪

♪ I'm not fooling, this feeling is real ♪

♪ She said you've gotta be crazy ♪

♪ What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark? ♪

♪ You've got wits, you've got looks ♪

♪ You've got passion But I swear that you've got me all wrong ♪

♪ All wrong ♪

♪ All wrong ♪

♪ But you've got me ♪

♪ I'll be true, I'll be useful ♪

♪ I'll be cavalier ♪

♪ I'll be yours, my dear ♪

♪ And I'll belong to you ♪

♪ If you'll just let me through ♪

♪ This is easy as lovers go ♪

♪ So don't complicate it by hesitating ♪

♪ And this is wonderful as loving goes ♪

♪ This is tailor-made What's the sense in waiting ♪

♪ And I said I've gotta be honest ♪

♪ I've been waiting for you all my life ♪

♪ For so long I thought I was asylum bound ♪

♪ But just seeing you Makes me think twice ♪

♪ You've got wits, you've got looks You've got passion ♪

♪ But are you brave enough To leave with me tonight ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ But you've got me ♪

♪ I'll be true, I'll be useful ♪

♪ I'll be cavalier I'll be yours, my dear ♪

♪ And I'll belong to you ♪

♪ If you'll just let me through ♪

♪ This is easy as lovers go ♪

♪ So don't complicate it by hesitating ♪

♪ And this is wonderful as loving goes ♪

♪ This is tailor-made What's the sense in waiting ♪