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1
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:43,830
No, no, no, no, no!
2
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:56,070
Pat, I swear, your voice just seems to get
better and better.
3
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,740
You sure you didn't go to Juilliard
or something?
4
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,950
I did use to have a friend named Julie
5
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,950
when I was a kid,
and we did play in her yard.
6
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,870
Sometimes we would sing.
7
00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:10,330
Oh, my God!
Patrick Montgomery, I swear,
8
00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:12,670
if there was an Olympic competition
for dorky jokes,
9
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,340
I'd be married to a gold medalist.
10
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,670
Your voice has gotten better.
11
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,590
Well, how about me?
I sing like a swallow.
12
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:21,050
No need to get competitive.
13
00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:24,720
Life is a competition, don't they say?
14
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,140
Don't you like to say that, Pastor Jackie?
15
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:29,810
Never.
I don't believe I ever even thought it.
16
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:32,310
We should all be thinking about it
17
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,440
if we're serious about winning
the church volleyball league.
18
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:39,700
And maybe we should consider opening
our doors to the Congregationalists.
19
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,870
Don Awrey is 6'5"
and spikes like a madman.
20
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:44,030
He is great.
21
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,160
Well, you know,
I dated a Congregationalist once,
22
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,540
and he insisted on prayin'
before goin' car parking.
23
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,830
No, wait! No, he's Episcopalian!
24
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:53,960
What about you, Don?
25
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,800
Are you ever gonna join the team?
26
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,590
- Volleyball's not my thing.
- Not enough mayhem.
27
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,050
He gravitates towards viciousness.
That's why he went into law.
28
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:04,100
Didn't you play professional football?
29
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,220
- For the Washington Redskins.
- Yes!
30
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,600
Nah, I tried out, I didn't make the team.
31
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,810
And it kills him to this day.
32
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:14,060
I'm gonna go get some potato salad.
33
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,190
I'll race you.
34
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,990
We should really get going soon
because the chart says
35
00:05:18,990 --> 00:05:22,240
that I'm going to reach
peak fertility around 1:00 PM
36
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,120
today, so.
37
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,240
Oh, right.
38
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:28,870
Little bit slower.
39
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,330
Little bit slower!
40
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:37,590
And be sure to emit
as you propulse forward.
41
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:40,300
- Evidently, that's helpful.
- Really?
42
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:44,180
- Here. Try to go deeper.
- I'm going as deep as I can, Betty.
43
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:45,640
No, you have been deeper before.
44
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:50,680
If you can squirt rather than drip,
that helps, too.
45
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,270
But, slower.
46
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,480
Deeper!
47
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,480
And squirt!
48
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,040
- Keep going, honey. You're doing great.
- Do I have to sing it?
49
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,170
Yes.
50
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,550
If you wanna keep filling that
sweet little heart of yours up with joy!
51
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,140
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey, hey, hey!
52
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,440
- Come in!
- All right.
53
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,940
And why do I have the pleasure
54
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,940
of a house call from my favorite pastor?
55
00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:43,820
Well.
56
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,410
It's not exactly pleasure, I'm afraid. And...
57
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:50,330
I might stop being your favorite pastor.
58
00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:55,500
What's goin' on?
59
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,330
Bill's gone.
60
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,000
He wants a divorce.
61
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,680
It's been comin' for a long time.
62
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,680
I know that you've been struggling some.
63
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,930
Sweetie, sing louder.
64
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:14,810
That's good.
65
00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:20,320
You will get through this.
I will drag you through this.
66
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,190
- I'm scared. I'll admit it.
- What about?
67
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,780
For starters,
how will I lead the congregation?
68
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,990
You're gonna lead us the same
as you always have.
69
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:34,450
And being single,
after 23 years of marriage.
70
00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:39,210
I'm not sure I even know
how to put one foot in front of the other.
71
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:44,050
So you just need to look at this
as a new beginning.
72
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,930
A new destiny.
73
00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:53,310
- It's not fair.
- It's my job, Betty.
74
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:56,680
The whole point of that new job
was that you wouldn't have to travel.
75
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,730
As much. And I don't.
76
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,070
Well, it's not normal for a husband
and wife to be apart.
77
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:03,110
That's all I'm saying.
78
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,280
Right, but we're talking about
four days here.
79
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,450
Four critical days during peak fertility.
80
00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:16,790
Didn't the doctors say that you might
get pregnant easier if you stress less?
81
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,420
- So it's my fault.
- I didn't say that.
82
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:23,590
- Of course, you did. You did.
- No, I didn't.
83
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:27,130
And you might consider that it's
your traveling that's causing my stress.
84
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,320
Okay.
85
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:55,030
So, the thing is, Jackie, our minister,
86
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:57,790
she's not just out of town
on church business.
87
00:08:57,790 --> 00:09:00,750
She chose not to be here today.
88
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,750
Because I'm on the church council,
89
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:06,750
she felt it better
that I break the news first.
90
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,720
Jackie and her husband Bill
are getting a divorce.
91
00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:14,470
It happens.
92
00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:18,810
Get over it.
Pastors are people like everybody else.
93
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:22,730
I see some of you squirming in your seats,
94
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,820
like you suddenly got
pine cones up your butts.
95
00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:28,740
Well, I tell you, if you ever did get
a pine cone up your keister,
96
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,070
you'd be squealing like a pig.
97
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:35,030
And Jackie Ponder would be the first one
runnin' to your aid.
98
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,910
So let's run to hers.
99
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,710
Not the time to be high-horse,
moral dopes.
100
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:48,460
Let's just get on with being
good Methodists.
101
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,260
We can start tonight
102
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:52,800
by kicking some Lutheran butts
at volleyball.
103
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,560
I got it!
104
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,360
Betty, hey. Hi.
105
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:09,980
Thought you'd be playing tonight.
106
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,610
Sitting this one out.
107
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,030
Understood.
108
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:19,290
Yeah. Makes sense.
109
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:20,160
I got it!
110
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:24,370
- What makes sense?
- What?
111
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:26,380
My sitting this game out makes sense.
112
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:29,340
- Why does it make sense?
- Well, if you are expecting,
113
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:32,090
it makes sense
that you'd steer clear of any
114
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,220
intense physical activity.
115
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,010
What makes you think I'm expecting?
116
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,140
No, no, I'm sorry.
117
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:45,100
I just heard you and Allan were trying.
118
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,730
I...
119
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:50,270
I apologize. I overstepped.
120
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,610
- Betty, I'm really sorry.
- It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
121
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,490
You really do
have a wonderful singing voice.
122
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:03,330
Thank you. Thank you.
123
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,210
Got it, got it, got it!
124
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:11,840
Are you okay?
125
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,460
I'm fine. I'm fine.
126
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:16,880
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah.
127
00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:19,600
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
128
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,970
- Good. Okay.
- You don't wanna sit for a bit?
129
00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:25,770
No, I'm fine, Allan. I'm fine, thank you.
130
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,480
- Alright.
- Thanks.
131
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,020
Sorry. I gotta communicate.
132
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,750
What do you mean he smelled like sex?
133
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,380
I mean he smelled like sex.
134
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:57,550
- Are we talkin' about the same Allan Gore?
- Oh yeah. I know.
135
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,680
I know, but how a man looks and smells
can be two totally different things.
136
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:05,520
And plus.
137
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,390
Plus what?
138
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,100
Well, I was kind of
139
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,480
gettin' the sense that he was
likin' the smell of me, too.
140
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,940
Like it could maybe go in that direction.
141
00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:16,940
What direction?
142
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:20,200
- I'm not sayin' that I would ever--
- Candy!
143
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,710
It's just this whole thing with Jackie.
144
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:33,710
Maybe it's just kind of opened up a can.
145
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:36,840
What can?
146
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:41,680
The "content is not all
it's cracked up to be" can.
147
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,350
You know, my father, he used to say to me,
148
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:48,730
"Candy, if you ain't growing,
you're dying."
149
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,270
And he would also say,
150
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,270
"If you ain't searching
151
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,940
you're lost."
152
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,070
Allan Gore?
153
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,410
I mean,
he'd be "fall-in-love-proof," anyway.
154
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,000
Just take a look at him.
155
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,290
Who could be more
"fall-in-love-proof" than that?
156
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:28,030
Gary, would you like to share your poem?
157
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:31,330
Okay. It's short.
158
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:34,710
That's fine.
Some of my favorite poems are short.
159
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,670
Haikus are quite wonderful, in fact.
160
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:41,050
"On my brand new toilet
161
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:44,180
I did the same thing."
162
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,230
It's about the folly of materialism.
163
00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:59,070
God, I totally get it.
164
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:03,690
We all think that we can change our lives
with stuff, you know?
165
00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,360
I do it all the time
with shoes or whatever.
166
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,570
If I could just have that or just get this
things will be different.
167
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,830
Mine's actually got a similar theme
about "wanting."
168
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:12,910
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
169
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,660
- Let's hear it, Candy.
- Okay.
170
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:18,920
- It's called, "My Heart Asked."
- What a lovely title.
171
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,720
"My heart asked, 'What's the answer?'
172
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:30,720
"I said, 'What answer?'
It said, 'You know.'
173
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,600
"I said, 'I don't know.
I give up. What's the answer?'
174
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,560
"And the heart said,
175
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,480
'The answer is don't give up.'"
176
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,670
- Good night, Sherry.
- See you at home.
177
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,470
- Bye, Candy!
- See ya.
178
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,010
Allan! Hi!
179
00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:38,890
- Hey, Candy.
- Hey.
180
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,270
I want to talk to you sometime about
181
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,100
something that's been
bothering me a little.
182
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,030
How about right now?
183
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,650
Sure.
184
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,960
I've been thinking about you a lot,
185
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,960
and it's really been bothering me,
and I'm not
186
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:10,170
sure whether I want you to do
anything about it or not.
187
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,810
I'm very attracted to you.
188
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:26,770
And I'm just tired of thinkin' about it,
so I wanted to tell you that.
189
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,440
You seriously got in his car?
190
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,190
I did.
191
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:15,490
- And told him you were thinking about him?
- I did.
192
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,240
And what did he say?
193
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,490
He said, "Oh. Okay."
194
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,330
- That's it?
- Pretty much.
195
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,660
Are you sure
this is really about Allan Gore
196
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:28,380
and not about you wantin' to be reckless?
197
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:30,710
Maybe a little of both.
198
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:35,510
But also men,
they get to go to their jobs
199
00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:37,340
and live in their careers and
200
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:40,680
we just stay home and
201
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,350
God, that's supposed to be enough.
202
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,810
Look at our kids right now
on that jungle gym.
203
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:54,360
It is human nature to take risks.
204
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:58,780
To go for somethin' with a little thrill
at the risk of falling.
205
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,030
I mean, look at their faces.
206
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,040
They are more alive than we are.
207
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,170
It's not appropriate.
208
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,340
- Why?
- Because it's not.
209
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:18,720
Where did you even get all of this stuff?
210
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,760
Jenny's mom.
211
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,260
You're gonna have to pick another costume.
212
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:23,220
- Why?
- I told you, it's not appropriate,
213
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:25,600
- especially for a girl your age.
- Dad!
214
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,140
No, no! Never mind.
215
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:29,400
I will not have you out on the streets
trick or treating as a trollop.
216
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,850
We will find something better.
217
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,820
This is why I did not want her
seeing that movie!
218
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:37,320
-"Grease"? That's a family picture, honey.
- No, no.
219
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,200
It's a bunch of talk of girls putting out.
220
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:53,090
- You're judging me.
- I am not judging you.
221
00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:55,920
Allan, you do some of your best commentary
with silence.
222
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,390
One of the reasons
223
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:05,390
why I go silent is because
when you get like this,
224
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,930
I don't know what to say.
225
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,980
I don't know what you want me to say.
226
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,070
The first time I took my wife out,
I knew she wasn't smart.
227
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,030
Why's that.
228
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,530
I took her to a drive-in movie, you know,
229
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,570
and I asked if she wanted to
go in the back seat, you know.
230
00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:24,950
She said she'd rather use
the ladies' room!
231
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,250
But the day I got married,
that was something.
232
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,000
Everybody was crying.
233
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,250
During the ceremony,
her mother cried, you know?
234
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,380
All the way to the hotel, my wife cried.
235
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,510
And when she got undressed,
I cried, you know?
236
00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:44,890
Did you read my short?
237
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:47,220
Sorry?
238
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,020
My short story from writing class.
I asked if you would read it.
239
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,610
I did. Excellent.
240
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,530
Yeah? What was it about?
241
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,450
It was about swans.
242
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,530
What about swans?
243
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,700
Wow. If I knew there was gonna be a test,
I would've studied harder.
244
00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:11,250
Then study harder, Pat.
245
00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:13,120
You have a Ph.D.
246
00:22:13,870 --> 00:22:15,790
Yep. Not in swans, though.
247
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:19,800
Yep.
248
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,800
- Let me read it again.
-My car, I tell you, Johnny.
249
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,930
-Bad car?
-I got the only car
250
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,140
dogs chase it, they catch it.
251
00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:38,020
I told the graduating class...
252
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:56,730
It's not about repainting or redoing.
We need a new sanctuary.
253
00:23:56,730 --> 00:24:00,400
Well, a church is more about its
parishioners than its hardscape, Jo Ann.
254
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,360
That may be well and true, but this church
255
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,400
isn't gonna be anything if we don't grow
the congregation.
256
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,820
And for that, we need a new facility.
257
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:08,320
It's not just that it's old, Jackie.
It's crappy.
258
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,450
Nobody looking for a new house of worship
wants crappy.
259
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:13,540
It should make a statement.
260
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,210
Especially if we wanna
draw the younger couples.
261
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,000
Well, aren't we supposed
to be the younger couples?
262
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,500
Where's your head, Allan?
263
00:24:23,090 --> 00:24:24,300
I'm sorry? What?
264
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,720
Where's your head?
You think we need a new sanctuary?
265
00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:33,680
- Well--
- You know, the thing about
266
00:24:34,430 --> 00:24:36,680
religion and life and love
267
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,310
is that there's renewal in it.
268
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:43,480
And, to me,
nothing sells renewal better than
269
00:24:44,730 --> 00:24:46,190
you know, something new.
270
00:24:48,110 --> 00:24:51,200
I agree. We need a major building.
271
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,330
So if we look at our finances
272
00:24:54,490 --> 00:24:57,200
year-to-date, and we see
273
00:24:57,870 --> 00:24:59,960
that we are already...
274
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:25,020
Well, you would think the teams themselves
would have to clean up, not the referees,
275
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:27,860
but I suppose that would just
make too much sense, wouldn't it?
276
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,030
Well, are we still on for coffee tomorrow?
277
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,700
Is the sun still planning to rise?
278
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,030
Well, I'll call you!
279
00:25:37,790 --> 00:25:40,500
So is Betty not feeling too good again?
280
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:45,710
Some headaches and so forth.
Probably stress-related.
281
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:50,340
You haven't got any tricks up your sleeve
to relax your bride, Allan?
282
00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:53,720
Betty's seen all my tricks.
283
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:58,350
Well, this is me.
284
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:01,640
You tell her that I hope
she's feeling better and
285
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,270
she can always drop Alisa off
if she wants to rest.
286
00:26:05,270 --> 00:26:07,270
- I'll tell her that. Thank you.
- Yeah.
287
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,150
You sure I can trust you two alone?
288
00:26:16,490 --> 00:26:17,990
Well, good night.
289
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:21,910
Candy.
290
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:30,840
Before, in the car.
291
00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:35,680
What exactly was it that you had in mind?
292
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,520
Get in.
293
00:26:55,110 --> 00:26:57,700
Would you be interested
in having an affair?
294
00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:05,710
It's just something
I've been thinkin' about
295
00:27:05,710 --> 00:27:09,040
and so I wanted to say it,
so I don't have to think about it anymore.
296
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,640
Okay. Well, I got my answer.
297
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,300
No, no, it's just.
298
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,350
I don't think I could.
299
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,850
You know, I love Betty.
300
00:27:28,650 --> 00:27:31,530
And when we were living in New Mexico,
she had an affair.
301
00:27:31,530 --> 00:27:33,030
Betty did?
302
00:27:33,780 --> 00:27:35,400
Well, I can't believe that.
303
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,360
I know. I couldn't believe it either.
304
00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,660
It hurt me a lot
and I wouldn't want to do that to her.
305
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:41,790
That's fine, Allan.
306
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:43,950
I love Pat, too,
and I wouldn't wanna do anything
307
00:27:43,950 --> 00:27:46,040
to hurt him either.
308
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,040
- I like Pat.
- Yeah.
309
00:27:51,340 --> 00:27:52,960
He has the best voice in the choir.
310
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,590
- Also, Betty just got pregnant again.
- Really?
311
00:28:00,850 --> 00:28:03,140
Just recently.
312
00:28:04,180 --> 00:28:06,940
So that would really be unfair to her.
313
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,310
Especially since I don't
feel the same way about you
314
00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:13,020
that I do about her.
315
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,610
So, I probably couldn't do
something like that.
316
00:28:17,610 --> 00:28:19,200
Okay.
317
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,950
I was just putting the option out there
because of how I felt.
318
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,000
But I certainly don't want
to hurt you or your marriage.
319
00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:28,540
All I wanted to do was
320
00:28:30,170 --> 00:28:31,500
go to bed.
321
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:35,090
But I won't mention it again.
322
00:28:43,050 --> 00:28:43,930
Good night.
323
00:28:58,950 --> 00:29:00,910
I feel so humiliated.
324
00:29:00,910 --> 00:29:03,160
It's probably for the best, sweetheart.
325
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,580
Well, I wasn't looking for what's best.
I was out for something more transcendent.
326
00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:11,120
And he broached it!
He invited the conversation.
327
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,670
What exactly did he say?
328
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:19,840
He asked me what I had in mind
when he knew very well what I had in mind.
329
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,840
And then he climbed into my car.
I mean, come on.
330
00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:26,850
And why did he kiss me?
331
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:28,980
Right on the lips.
332
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:32,150
It wasn't exactly passionate.
333
00:29:33,060 --> 00:29:35,270
But it wasn't a brotherly kiss either.
334
00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:39,240
Well, men kiss all the time
when they don't mean it.
335
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,660
No, I think he's waitin' for me
to make it happen.
336
00:29:41,660 --> 00:29:43,990
He doesn't wanna hate himself
for being unfaithful to Betty.
337
00:29:44,570 --> 00:29:46,990
So he's waitin' for me to make it happen.
338
00:29:48,700 --> 00:29:50,620
Well, he can forget about that.
339
00:29:51,620 --> 00:29:54,130
I played my cards, and that will be that.
340
00:29:54,130 --> 00:29:55,210
Mornin'.
341
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,390
Well, my word in Heaven, are you a bird?
342
00:30:10,390 --> 00:30:12,230
No, wait. You're a plane, aren't you?
343
00:30:12,230 --> 00:30:13,900
I'm Superman!
344
00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:16,110
You're Superman! You're a man of steel!
345
00:30:16,110 --> 00:30:17,940
And you might be the super-est one
I have ever seen.
346
00:30:18,730 --> 00:30:21,320
- Well, thank you.
- Well, you're welcome. Hey, honey!
347
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,280
- Hey, Mom.
- You're back already, huh?
348
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,320
- Just to drop off. I filled my pumpkin.
- Yes, you did.
349
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,990
I'm just gonna go dump it
and come back out.
350
00:30:29,540 --> 00:30:32,040
Well, what do you expect to do
with all that candy, young lady?
351
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,040
- I'll trade with Ian.
- Okay.
352
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,550
- Thanks for walking with them.
- Sure, sure.
353
00:30:38,550 --> 00:30:40,090
Did you see Pat and Ian on your travels?
354
00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:43,010
I did see a pretty scary Elvis.
355
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,340
Yep, that would be Pat.
356
00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,050
Him and Elvis,
it's kinda hard to tell them apart.
357
00:30:49,810 --> 00:30:51,270
Come on, Dad. Let's go.
358
00:30:51,270 --> 00:30:52,980
- Okay. Bye.
- Trick or treat!
359
00:30:52,980 --> 00:30:56,060
Oh, my goodness, look at you!
Buzz, buzz, buzz!
360
00:30:57,310 --> 00:30:59,230
If I could only have a brain!
361
00:30:59,230 --> 00:31:02,240
Look how cute you guys look.
And look at you.
362
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,530
Don't sting me!
The Wicked Witch of the West!
363
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,830
Happy birthday to you
364
00:31:17,830 --> 00:31:20,460
- Oh, my God.
- I brought you a confection.
365
00:31:20,460 --> 00:31:21,460
Yes.
366
00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:23,630
And at the bakery,
they said if we ate it before 10:00 AM,
367
00:31:23,630 --> 00:31:25,050
it won't make our asses fat.
368
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:27,430
At least, not completely.
369
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:30,930
- Then, shall we? Hurry up!
- Yes, we shall!
370
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,270
This is why your people follow you.
371
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,810
Yeah. I let them eat cake.
372
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,820
So, listen.
373
00:31:40,820 --> 00:31:42,610
I don't like the sound of that.
374
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:45,450
Remember I told you
about that other job offer
375
00:31:45,450 --> 00:31:47,610
I had at Midwestern University?
376
00:31:47,610 --> 00:31:50,120
- Which you turned down.
- Yeah, well.
377
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,500
- It turns out I reconsidered.
- What do you mean?
378
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:57,750
It was pointed out that the bishop
doesn't make offers like this every day.
379
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:03,210
- But it's in Wichita Falls.
- I'll come back and forth.
380
00:32:03,210 --> 00:32:05,010
What do you mean
you'll come back and forth?
381
00:32:05,010 --> 00:32:07,590
It's, like, 200 miles away.
382
00:32:07,590 --> 00:32:09,680
Candy, this is my next calling.
383
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:12,640
What am I gonna do?
384
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,100
- You're my best friend.
- Our friendship won't change.
385
00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:16,430
No, but you won't be here.
386
00:32:16,430 --> 00:32:19,230
- And who's gonna replace you?
- We'll find somebody great.
387
00:32:19,230 --> 00:32:22,020
Somebody who can get
the new sanctuary built.
388
00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:24,110
Oh, my God.
389
00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:28,280
You are the only one
I have to talk to here, Jackie.
390
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,570
That is not true. You have Sherry.
391
00:32:30,570 --> 00:32:33,540
And you're the belle of the ball
at church.
392
00:32:33,540 --> 00:32:36,290
I mean Sherry is Sherry but
393
00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:39,540
honey, you're my heart.
394
00:32:51,180 --> 00:32:52,930
Hello?
395
00:32:52,930 --> 00:32:55,850
Candy. Hi, it's Allan. Allan Gore.
396
00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:59,980
- Hey.
-Hey. Hi.
397
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:07,990
I have to go to McKinney tomorrow
to get my tires checked and rotated,
398
00:33:07,990 --> 00:33:10,200
and I know it's a drive,
399
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,990
but I was wondering if you might
like to have some lunch with me.
400
00:33:15,950 --> 00:33:22,250
You know, to talk a little more
about what we were talking about before.
401
00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:23,790
Okay.
402
00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,590
Okay, fine.
403
00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,050
Well, how's 12:00?
404
00:33:30,090 --> 00:33:32,010
- I'll meet you there.
-Okay.
405
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,720
- Meet you there. Bye-bye.
-Okay.
406
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,230
- Where were we?
- Who was that?
407
00:33:46,150 --> 00:33:49,280
- It's just somebody.
- Somebody?
408
00:33:51,820 --> 00:33:54,200
Somebody I'm thinkin'
about having an affair with.
409
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,370
You told me that 'cause you want me
to talk you out of it.
410
00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:03,250
Pat and I, we...
411
00:34:05,590 --> 00:34:07,340
Well, we kind of hit a plateau.
412
00:34:07,340 --> 00:34:09,210
Every marriage hits one of them.
413
00:34:09,210 --> 00:34:11,420
Well, I suppose yours did
and you did nothing about it.
414
00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:15,220
Meaning what? If I'd had an affair,
Bill would still be taking out my garbage?
415
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:21,980
I'm talking about my garbage right now,
and not wanting to settle for it.
416
00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:26,310
Sorry, that came out wrong.
Pat is not garbage.
417
00:34:26,310 --> 00:34:29,690
Candy, I got front-door friends
and back-door friends.
418
00:34:29,690 --> 00:34:32,030
Front-door friends show up
when they have a reason.
419
00:34:32,030 --> 00:34:34,780
They knock. They say the right thing.
420
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:38,160
Back-door friends, they just bang in
through the kitchen door
421
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,160
and drop whatever's on their mind.
422
00:34:41,450 --> 00:34:42,830
You are my best back-door friend
423
00:34:42,830 --> 00:34:46,040
so I am gonna drop my mind
on your table here.
424
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,130
This will come to no good.
425
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,880
Jackie, I have done all the things
a wife is supposed to do.
426
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:58,430
The house, the kids, the meals.
427
00:35:01,470 --> 00:35:03,940
Where is the payback?
428
00:35:04,810 --> 00:35:05,770
Honey.
429
00:35:06,940 --> 00:35:09,400
This is the payback.
430
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,280
Take it from me. Somebody who lost it.
431
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,160
I can see your mind's made up.
432
00:35:37,050 --> 00:35:38,890
- Thanks again, Ronnie.
- You're welcome.
433
00:35:38,890 --> 00:35:41,810
- Don't work too hard.
- All right.
434
00:35:43,770 --> 00:35:46,270
Hi! You're here.
435
00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:47,900
- Hi.
- Hey.
436
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:50,480
Brought you this little card.
437
00:35:59,410 --> 00:36:01,160
That is so sweet.
438
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:05,200
There you are.
439
00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,500
Thank you.
440
00:36:08,670 --> 00:36:10,670
I just worry, you know?
441
00:36:10,670 --> 00:36:13,880
Jackie is the church,
when you think about it.
442
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,470
I just hope she doesn't become a stranger.
443
00:36:16,470 --> 00:36:19,510
Well, how can she not?
At least a little.
444
00:36:20,010 --> 00:36:22,430
Wichita Falls is a three-hour drive
last I checked.
445
00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:25,640
And, frankly, I don't know how
we're gonna go about replacing her.
446
00:36:27,390 --> 00:36:29,810
And I don't wanna belong
to some stodgy-podgy church.
447
00:36:31,060 --> 00:36:33,270
- No, that would be awful.
- Awful.
448
00:36:38,910 --> 00:36:41,280
Well, should we talk about our kids now?
449
00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:43,790
Or maybe more Pat.
450
00:36:43,790 --> 00:36:47,290
He was a champion trumpeter
in high school. Did I cover that?
451
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,260
I'm sorry. I've never done anything
like this before.
452
00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:59,260
I haven't either.
453
00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:08,980
I would never be able to forgive myself
if Betty ever found out.
454
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:14,020
That would just be devastating to her.
455
00:37:14,020 --> 00:37:15,860
I feel the same.
456
00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:20,660
We would have to be so careful
that no one would ever know except us.
457
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:23,280
That's right.
458
00:37:24,620 --> 00:37:26,740
I've been thinking a lot
about what you said about
459
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,540
just wanting to go to bed,
460
00:37:29,540 --> 00:37:35,130
not getting too emotionally involved
and so forth.
461
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:37,260
That would be very important to me.
462
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,260
Me, too, Allan.
463
00:37:41,220 --> 00:37:43,640
God, I just wanna enjoy myself.
464
00:37:46,010 --> 00:37:50,690
Without hurting myself or anyone else.
465
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:57,980
Well,
466
00:37:57,980 --> 00:38:00,990
I think we should
think about it some more.
467
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,950
Think about the hazards and decide
468
00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:07,700
whether or not we're willing
to take the risk.
469
00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:13,250
Fine. Yeah, I think we should.
470
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,630
So, that's the plan then?
Think about it some more?
471
00:38:21,420 --> 00:38:22,380
I think so.
472
00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:49,890
I'm not sure how many more of these
strategy session I can take.
473
00:39:49,890 --> 00:39:51,760
Yeah, I know.
474
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,640
- We just can't be too careful.
-You know,
475
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:57,650
if you don't go to bed
with me pretty soon,
476
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:01,400
you'll never be able to live up
477
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,990
to the expectations I have of you in bed.
478
00:40:04,990 --> 00:40:08,780
Yeah, don't think
I haven't thought about that.
479
00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:15,410
Maybe just one more planning session.
480
00:40:16,870 --> 00:40:19,330
- We can have it here.
-At your house?
481
00:40:19,330 --> 00:40:22,550
Yeah, we can meet for lunch.
People need to eat, right?
482
00:40:33,010 --> 00:40:34,390
How was work today?
483
00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:38,600
It's pretty good. Kind of the same.
484
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,950
Have you been going over your list, Allan?
485
00:40:50,870 --> 00:40:52,530
- I'm sorry, what?
- The list.
486
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,870
The list of potential baby names.
487
00:40:58,660 --> 00:41:00,080
- I will.
- You will?
488
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,580
Yeah.
489
00:41:03,090 --> 00:41:04,000
Okay.
490
00:41:09,340 --> 00:41:13,140
If either of us wants it to end
for whatever reason, then it ends.
491
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:14,220
Agreed.
492
00:41:15,220 --> 00:41:20,100
If either of us get
too emotionally involved, then it ends.
493
00:41:20,850 --> 00:41:22,560
We should make that rule number one.
494
00:41:23,310 --> 00:41:25,020
Sure. Okay.
495
00:41:27,820 --> 00:41:31,160
Okay. And if we start taking risks
496
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,320
that shouldn't be taken,
then the affair ends.
497
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,580
- And we should always meet out of town.
- Agree, agree, agree.
498
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:48,050
All expenses,
gas, motel, food, will be shared equally.
499
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:51,840
We'll meet only on weekdays,
and I'll be in charge
500
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,350
of fixing lunch on the days that we meet,
501
00:41:54,350 --> 00:41:55,810
so that we just have more time.
502
00:41:56,510 --> 00:41:59,140
And I'll also be in charge
of getting the motel room.
503
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,100
Same reason.
It just gives us more quality time.
504
00:42:02,100 --> 00:42:03,060
Shall we
505
00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:07,860
set a date for the affair to begin?
506
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,860
Let's go with December 12th.
507
00:42:14,530 --> 00:42:15,490
December 12th?
508
00:42:16,830 --> 00:42:17,990
This year.
509
00:42:19,450 --> 00:42:20,790
Great.
510
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,170
December 12th it is.
511
00:42:27,090 --> 00:42:29,340
Oh, Margaret,
you don't know what it does to me,
512
00:42:29,340 --> 00:42:31,970
being near you all day in surgery,
only able to touch...
513
00:42:42,180 --> 00:42:44,100
You alright?
514
00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:45,310
I'm good.
515
00:42:46,610 --> 00:42:50,110
This song gives me goosebumps.
516
00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:53,240
I'm the same way about
"Pennsylvania 6-5000."
517
00:42:57,740 --> 00:42:59,160
What are you doin'?
518
00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:02,960
What am I doin'?
519
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:07,630
You once told me that your
favorite character was Snugglepuss.
520
00:43:08,590 --> 00:43:10,920
Did you not tell me that, Pat?
521
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,920
Snagglepuss.
522
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,300
Hey, angel girl.
523
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,550
Come out smarter than you go in.
524
00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:02,310
I will, Mom.
525
00:44:02,310 --> 00:44:03,680
- And no talking to boys.
- You're so silly.
526
00:44:16,860 --> 00:44:19,740
Okay, buddy. Next stop, preschool.
527
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,330
Hello?
528
00:46:27,330 --> 00:46:28,830
I'm at the Continental Inn
529
00:46:28,830 --> 00:46:31,870
on the Central Expressway towards Dallas,
room 214.
530
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,880
I will be there in a few minutes.
531
00:47:53,830 --> 00:47:55,250
What am I doin'?
532
00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:05,970
...and show our boys some
red and blue pride.
533
00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:10,010
...time for a couple of calls.
534
00:48:10,010 --> 00:48:12,180
Hello, Darcy.
Welcome to The Dan Ram Show.
535
00:48:12,180 --> 00:48:15,060
Hey, Dan, thanks for taking my call.
536
00:48:59,850 --> 00:49:01,020
I made lunch.
537
00:49:03,570 --> 00:49:04,940
Well, you look beautiful.
Really beautiful.
538
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:07,700
Thank you.
539
00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:13,870
- Well, we should eat.
- Excellent.
540
00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:19,040
Wow. Looks delicious.
541
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,130
Sorry.
542
00:49:27,050 --> 00:49:30,800
You know, I've probably driven past
this motel a thousand times
543
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,390
and hardly knew it was here.
544
00:49:32,390 --> 00:49:33,930
Yeah, it's funny that way.
545
00:49:34,850 --> 00:49:36,560
Life. You know, the
546
00:49:37,470 --> 00:49:39,440
bland and innocuous can
547
00:49:41,190 --> 00:49:43,900
suddenly take on vivid hues and colors.
548
00:49:49,110 --> 00:49:50,610
I take a creative writing class.
549
00:49:51,450 --> 00:49:54,160
- Well, that was really good.
- Thank you.
550
00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:58,950
I would love to read
some of your writing sometime.
551
00:49:59,660 --> 00:50:00,620
Really?
552
00:50:00,620 --> 00:50:02,960
Well, that would make one of you
553
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:04,710
'cause Pat has no interest,
554
00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:07,210
and I read all of his stuff
on electromagnetics--
555
00:50:07,210 --> 00:50:08,880
Are we talking about Pat now?
556
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:13,390
No, sorry. We're definitely not.
557
00:50:43,830 --> 00:50:45,080
Are you just gonna stand there?
558
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:47,670
Yes.
559
00:51:27,380 --> 00:51:28,670
Sorry.
560
00:51:28,670 --> 00:51:31,420
Allan,
have you never been French kissed before?
561
00:51:35,180 --> 00:51:38,140
You've never had a woman's tongue
in your mouth?
562
00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:45,890
Well, I think you're gonna quite like it.
563
00:53:16,230 --> 00:53:18,650
- Are you okay?
- I am.
564
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,950
So okay.
565
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,370
- You?
- Oh, yeah.
566
00:53:29,370 --> 00:53:30,290
Yeah.
567
00:53:30,830 --> 00:53:32,710
That was wonderful, Candy.
568
00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:37,510
You're wonderful.
569
00:53:42,090 --> 00:53:43,970
We need to shower.
570
00:53:43,970 --> 00:53:45,810
I probably should have added that
to the list.
571
00:53:45,810 --> 00:53:48,390
Always shower after
572
00:53:48,390 --> 00:53:51,810
and that way,
we won't smell like each other.
573
00:53:51,810 --> 00:53:54,400
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, and Allan.
574
00:53:55,650 --> 00:53:56,730
Allan.
575
00:53:57,650 --> 00:53:59,530
That was
576
00:54:01,150 --> 00:54:02,570
wonderful.
577
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:10,910
Okay.
43332
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