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1
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,119
Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die,
2
00:00:57,227 --> 00:01:00,276
take him and cut him
out to little stars -
3
00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:03,247
and he'll make the
face of heaven so fine.
4
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:06,570
And all the world will be
in love with the night -
5
00:01:06,676 --> 00:01:08,811
Mystical: Shake Ya Ass
6
00:01:09,324 --> 00:01:13,448
and... make the face of
heaven so fine that all...
7
00:01:13,554 --> 00:01:15,924
the world will be in love....
8
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,543
9
00:01:20,354 --> 00:01:21,951
... all the world will be
in love with the night...
10
00:01:30,279 --> 00:01:33,858
Excuse me! Excuse me!
11
00:01:35,824 --> 00:01:40,658
- Woody, will you turn that down?
- Sorry, I can't hear you!
12
00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:42,863
Turn the noise down!
13
00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:45,953
Sorry, did you say something?
14
00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:49,087
I'm trying to study but it's impossible
with that racket going on!
15
00:01:50,106 --> 00:01:50,947
- It's not racket, that's Mystical!
16
00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:53,226
Whatever it is, will you
please switch it off?
17
00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:56,770
- What's it worth?
- The gratitude of a music lover?
18
00:01:58,608 --> 00:01:59,422
Alright, I turn it off!
19
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,633
If you flash me! Show me
what girls are all about!
20
00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:07,708
You are a pig!
21
00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:12,801
- Anyway, I've seen them before!
- What! You have not!
22
00:02:20,304 --> 00:02:21,323
Have now!
23
00:02:28,557 --> 00:02:29,682
Good morning, Mr. Fluffy.
24
00:02:32,056 --> 00:02:34,587
- Woody, are you up yet?
- Oh, yeah!
25
00:02:43,046 --> 00:02:46,405
- Good morning, Daddy!
- I have some mail for you, princess.
26
00:02:47,013 --> 00:02:48,796
It's from Yale!
27
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:55,202
I have an interview next week!
28
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,403
I applied for early
action for you, honey!
29
00:02:58,317 --> 00:02:59,798
My precious little
girl are going to Yale!
30
00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:01,895
I have to get through the
interview first, mother!
31
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,818
- You won't let us down, never have.
- Never has.
32
00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,981
- Isn't it exciting, Ted?
- It's very exciting, Katherine.
33
00:03:09,198 --> 00:03:11,935
- Are you excited?
- I am.
34
00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:17,260
I'm so excited I could yell it
from the roof tops!
35
00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,482
Thank you, mother!
36
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:24,383
Bachman Turner Overdrive:
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
37
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:24,699
38
00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:26,596
Everything OK back there?
39
00:03:27,703 --> 00:03:29,254
No problem, honey.
40
00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,504
Just searing off a
couple of finger prints.
41
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,498
Carry on, my good woman.
42
00:03:36,297 --> 00:03:39,978
- Big game's coming up soon, son?
- Yep!
43
00:03:41,093 --> 00:03:43,732
Coach says all the big college scouts
gonna be at the game.
44
00:03:44,338 --> 00:03:45,192
Yeah, I know.
45
00:03:46,299 --> 00:03:51,032
Speciality of the House! I call
it 'Eggs What the Heck'
46
00:03:51,559 --> 00:03:53,725
So much of fine cuisine is down to
presentation, don't you think, son?
47
00:03:54,242 --> 00:03:56,811
Oh yeah, absolutely!
48
00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:01,429
You'll be the first member of
my family to go to college.
49
00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:05,902
He'll be the first member of your
family to go to freaking school!
50
00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,032
That's true.
51
00:04:10,095 --> 00:04:13,107
But son, if thing's don't work out,
there'll always be a job for you -
52
00:04:13,329 --> 00:04:16,011
with Stan the Man at Spatula World.
53
00:04:24,214 --> 00:04:25,884
- To me, the greatest
living American should...
54
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,369
have individual accomplishments -
55
00:04:27,794 --> 00:04:31,016
but also have a lasting influence
on America and with the world.
56
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:36,303
And that is why after careful
consideration my candidate...
57
00:04:45,249 --> 00:04:48,422
- Yo, what's up boy?
- Hi, Horse!
58
00:04:51,303 --> 00:04:54,052
- Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging?
- To the floor, my friend!
59
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,953
What say we shift this
baby into warp drive, huh?
60
00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,143
I want you to feel the
wind blowing through...
61
00:04:59,248 --> 00:05:01,815
the hair of your fine muscular ass!
62
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,469
Hit it please!
63
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,408
Eminem: Without Me
64
00:05:33,698 --> 00:05:35,482
Well, looky here!
65
00:05:36,705 --> 00:05:39,844
Is that not a pencil necked
virgin girl I see before me?
66
00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:40,925
I do believe it is.
67
00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:43,673
She's standing dangerously close
to a vast pool of water.
68
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,564
For a smart girl, that ain't so smart.
69
00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:33,783
Thank you!
70
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,776
OK, just keep walking.
71
00:06:40,256 --> 00:06:41,525
No one will notice.
72
00:06:43,053 --> 00:06:45,261
Who wants cotton candy?
73
00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:52,336
Hey, Nell, I love what you've
done with your hair!
74
00:06:53,249 --> 00:06:054,981
Thanks, Glixen.
75
00:07:08,586 --> 00:07:09,862
Three, two one...
76
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,209
Hey, watch it!
77
00:07:16,545 --> 00:07:17,952
- Harry!
- What's up baby!
78
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,914
Wow wow, people around!
79
00:07:26,937 --> 00:07:27,939
Nice look!
80
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,135
Special needs boy and his muse,
the lovely Clamydia.
81
00:07:32,355 --> 00:07:34,139
My name's Breanna, you geek!
82
00:07:35,513 --> 00:07:37,531
By the way, sorry about
this morning.
83
00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:39,348
That puddle just...
showed up in front of us!
84
00:07:39,566 --> 00:07:43,012
Oh, that's OK, please don't
apologize it, I understand.
85
00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:47,285
While archetypal outsiders
such as myself...
86
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:51,081
rarely fit comfortably into
high school environments -
87
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:54,708
this is as good as your life will get.
88
00:07:54,926 --> 00:07:57,941
The big football star and his
vacuous cheerleader girlfriend...
89
00:07:58,048 --> 00:07:58,796
Head cheerleader.
90
00:08:00,684 --> 00:08:03,491
Because, let's face it.
The old grey matter...
91
00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,927
ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster?
92
00:08:06,146 --> 00:08:09,811
So you end up with
a job with your dad -
93
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:12,540
and probably marry Breanna here.
94
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,897
But soon you start drinking to numb
this aching feeling you have inside.
95
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:19,449
Fast forward a few years
and you're a drunk...
96
00:08:19,558 --> 00:08:22,049
fat guy at a bar talking
about the good old days.
97
00:08:22,273 --> 00:08:26,195
While your little wife whose
looks have gone to the dodo -
98
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:29,528
is prepping up her self
esteem with squalid...
99
00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:33,232
sexual encounters with your
friends behind your back.
100
00:08:34,116 --> 00:08:36,967
- What friends?
- I'm guessing most of them.
101
00:08:38,553 --> 00:08:40,045
Have a good day.
102
00:08:41,326 --> 00:08:44,677
Class, please turn to
page 488. Paragraph...
103
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:46,652
demarked 'Early history' -
104
00:08:46,871 --> 00:08:50,576
which reads: 'Combined
with the study of mankind -
105
00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:54,328
in all its aspects,
especially human culture -
106
00:08:54,552 --> 00:08:58,621
we are therefore examining
that society through...
107
00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:00,847
the exploration of classical structure.'
108
00:09:01,289 --> 00:09:05,767
Now, do not forget to make full use
of your abstract database.
109
00:09:05,992 --> 00:09:08,747
And class, please make
sure the references of...
110
00:09:08,854 --> 00:09:11,102
the source material
include the internet.
111
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,504
That's OK for now but -
112
00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:24,904
you might want to omit that
page from your reference list.
113
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:28,827
Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking
your field trip this week.
114
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,585
I tried on the most
amazing dress for the dance.
115
00:09:35,811 --> 00:09:39,749
Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen
Stefani's outfit of individuality -
116
00:09:39,972 --> 00:09:42,569
with just a sprinkling
of designer slut Aguilera.
117
00:09:42,788 --> 00:09:45,122
The whole thing's very
Madonna...
118
00:09:45,229 --> 00:09:46,369
before she got old naturally.
119
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,249
Sounds hot!
120
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,218
Now, I think Armani
would be good for you.
121
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,767
Stylish yet understated -
122
00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:55,886
so you look good but you don't
distract attention from me.
123
00:09:57,447 --> 00:09:58,543
Mr Deanne! If it's
not too much trouble?
124
00:09:58,648 --> 00:09:59,518
OK, just a minute!
125
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:10,279
Take a look at this odd looking fella!
126
00:10:11,057 --> 00:10:13,738
Texcatlipoca -
127
00:10:13,957 --> 00:10:17,120
the ancient Aztek god
of sorcery. Associated...
128
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:18,946
with the notion of destiny.
129
00:10:19,163 --> 00:10:21,758
Tex here has an interesting resume:
130
00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:25,510
He was the god of night,
lord of the smoking mirror.
131
00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:28,374
A shape shifter -
132
00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:31,356
a powerful SOB.
133
00:10:31,793 --> 00:10:35,931
Mr Deanne, do you think I might
have your attention?
134
00:10:36,442 --> 00:10:40,229
Or does Mr. Horson have something
particularly interesting to say?
135
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,524
I'm betting on unlikely.
136
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:47,304
OK, time is short,
people. I want you to...
137
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:49,707
pair off and take in
the rest yourselves.
138
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:52,303
Remember: research,
139
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:53,971
analyze and...
140
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,330
...describe!
141
00:10:55,556 --> 00:10:57,133
Very nice.
142
00:10:58,188 --> 00:11:04,090
Mr Horson, you go with Mr Glixen.
Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth.
143
00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:09,607
Let's get your learn on.
144
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:14,086
So, checked out any good
porno sites lately?
145
00:11:14,311 --> 00:11:16,512
I cannot believe I'm
stuck with you. Let's...
146
00:11:16,619 --> 00:11:18,533
hope I don't breathe
in any retard germs.
147
00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:22,243
Let's hope I don't get any
pencil neck virgin disease.
148
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,057
Get stuffed.
149
00:11:23,612 --> 00:11:24,354
I hate you!
150
00:11:24,461 --> 00:11:27,733
It's because you secretly
want to have sex with me!
151
00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:30,813
When I do decide to surrender
the flower of my womanhood -
152
00:11:31,037 --> 00:11:33,378
I've always imagined it to be with
someone of my own species!
153
00:11:33,596 --> 00:11:36,579
There's is nobody else in your
species, except maybe Glixen.
154
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:38,395
You're such a moron.
You really think...
155
00:11:38,502 --> 00:11:40,179
the world evolves around
rap music, football
156
00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:41,766
and hanging out with the right crowd?
157
00:11:41,871 --> 00:11:45,198
You know, you make me sick, you think
you are so different to everyone else.
158
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,076
Different from.
159
00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:49,615
You said 'Different to'. The correct
phraseology is 'Different from'.
160
00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:52,210
Thanks for that information.
You're no different...
161
00:11:52,316 --> 00:11:54,601
from any other geek with
books instead of friends -
162
00:11:54,825 --> 00:11:57,203
and you don't have to open
your big fat mouth to correct me.
163
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:59,428
- Neanderthal!
- Spaz.
164
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,712
I should pity you but I can't.
I hate you too much.
165
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,958
I rather cross my legs for
the rest of my life...
166
00:12:05,063 --> 00:12:06,766
for everybody than to
be anything like you!
167
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:10,988
- Dito!
- 'Dito'?
168
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,207
Double dito!
169
00:12:13,426 --> 00:12:16,277
Double double dito times a
thousand trillions!
170
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:46,657
'... and forever more shall find
her destiny to live alone no more.'
171
00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:57,200
Good night, Mr. Fluffy.
172
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:44,033
Oh God, my head...
173
00:13:44,104 --> 00:13:47,484
I must be dreaming. Time to wake up.
174
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:50,796
What was that?
175
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:54,222
Tits!
176
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,596
I have tits. Two tits!
177
00:13:57,068 --> 00:14:01,376
That's the regular number of tits
but not for a guy! What's going on here?
178
00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:06,568
Oh my god, my dick's gone!
I have a bush?
179
00:14:06,911 --> 00:14:08,912
Two tits and a bush
but no dick -
180
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,060
Oh god, that must be a dream.
181
00:14:11,456 --> 00:14:13,783
A very very bad 'I-lost-my-dick-dream'.
182
00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:19,813
Just stay calm!
What the hell is happening to me?
183
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:27,791
What is this?
This isn't my room!
184
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:33,776
This is just a dream, a big, bad dream!
185
00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:51,206
We need to talk!
Talk? She want's to talk?
186
00:14:52,365 --> 00:14:53,465
Let's talk about why I'm
going through a drawer...
187
00:14:53,571 --> 00:14:56,844
full of underwear with the
days of the freakin' week on them!
188
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,781
Oh God!
189
00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:13,784
OK, now my bush knows it's Wednesday!
Oh - gross!
190
00:15:19,594 --> 00:15:21,058
It's tough enough getting
these damn things off!
191
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,521
How the hell does anyone know
hot to get these things on?
192
00:15:31,754 --> 00:15:35,503
Ladies, looks like you and
me is going au natural.
193
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,788
Go away!
194
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,568
Alright, coast is clear.
195
00:15:50,526 --> 00:15:54,359
Get off.
196
00:16:07,051 --> 00:16:08,835
Good morning!
197
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:14,270
- Nell, is everything OK?
- I didn't see you there!
198
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,241
- Your oatmeal is on the table.
- I'm in a hurry, gotta go.
199
00:16:17,462 --> 00:16:21,855
Nonsense, now you sit down, it's
the most important meal of the day.
200
00:16:22,071 --> 00:16:26,548
And oatmeal is wonderful for promoting
healthy and regular bowel movements.
201
00:16:26,763 --> 00:16:29,698
That's cool if I want to take
a dump the size of my head.
202
00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:31,066
Excuse me?
203
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:34,477
Oatmeal's good, mummy.
204
00:16:35,401 --> 00:16:40,735
Deep Purple: Hush
205
00:16:41,524 --> 00:16:43,648
Is this meat?
206
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,683
- You have oatmeal?
- Are you shitting me?
207
00:16:51,167 --> 00:16:54,237
- Porkmeat's good.
- Eat up, son
208
00:17:08,233 --> 00:17:10,527
Jesus, I'm gonna puke.
209
00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,975
Golly, you must have been hungry.
210
00:17:25,201 --> 00:17:29,116
You need a second helping.
You wait there, young lady!
211
00:17:38,617 --> 00:17:40,568
How's it going, pretty boy?
212
00:17:42,755 --> 00:17:44,028
Let's go!
213
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:48,206
It will turn you into
a big strong girl!
214
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,416
Excuse me.
215
00:17:55,297 --> 00:17:56,876
See you later.
216
00:17:57,089 --> 00:18:00,669
Nell, aren't you forgetting something?
217
00:18:03,746 --> 00:18:07,362
Holy crap, look at the
size of that thing!
218
00:18:07,714 --> 00:18:09,412
What thing?
219
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:12,012
Gotta go mom, see you later.
220
00:18:15,009 --> 00:18:19,657
Hop in man, we got places to go,
people to see, women to impregnate.
221
00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:35,697
You OK?
222
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:37,383
Yeah, I'm fine!
223
00:18:38,541 --> 00:18:40,070
Really?
224
00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:01,837
The bitch stole my ride!
225
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:13,134
- We're going a little fast?
- You bet your sweet ass we are!
226
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,957
I am going to die!
227
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:22,112
Oh god, I'm getting on
the bus. I haven't...
228
00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:23,807
been on the bus since 8th grade!
229
00:19:36,317 --> 00:19:38,185
Come on!
230
00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:45,266
Screw you assholes!
231
00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:48,684
That's no way for
a young lady to talk!
232
00:19:48,904 --> 00:19:52,907
Sorry, I'm a bitch when I'm on
the rag, you know what I'm saying?
233
00:20:00,294 --> 00:20:03,194
- Sorry!
- Yeah, you too.
234
00:20:05,627 --> 00:20:10,953
And this dress is just amazing
235
00:20:13,049 --> 00:20:14,543
You!
236
00:20:14,928 --> 00:20:17,206
What the hell have you
done to me, witch lady?
237
00:20:17,313 --> 00:20:18,933
Get your hands off me, you bully!
238
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,889
God, you think I'm responsible for this?
239
00:20:20,996 --> 00:20:23,630
I certainly am not. And you're
the one who knows everything.
240
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:26,570
That does not include this!
241
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:31,861
This is impossible.
This can not happen!
242
00:20:34,895 --> 00:20:36,937
You better figure out how
to get my damn body back.
243
00:20:37,044 --> 00:20:38,729
Trust me, there's nothing
I would like more.
244
00:20:38,948 --> 00:20:41,886
You think I relish waking up
another day with the Simpsons?
245
00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:43,551
Leave my parents out of this.
246
00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:46,840
And what is up with your mother?
She never heard of volume control?
247
00:20:47,056 --> 00:20:50,331
Yak farmers in Tibet are praying
for her to keep the volume down.
248
00:20:50,554 --> 00:20:52,422
And her language, my goodness!
249
00:20:52,645 --> 00:20:55,968
My mother does not have a mole
on her face the size of the White House.
250
00:20:56,187 --> 00:20:58,404
So she's got a problem
with moles. Besides,
251
00:20:58,511 --> 00:21:00,274
it's not a mole, it's a beauty spot!
252
00:21:00,494 --> 00:21:03,244
I can spot that beauty from Wisconsin!
253
00:21:04,103 --> 00:21:06,188
Insensitive pig!
254
00:21:06,748 --> 00:21:09,922
I don't want to be a boy, OK?
Especially I don't want to be you!
255
00:21:10,466 --> 00:21:14,045
No, no, no, don't cry, not here.
256
00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:19,677
Maybe it's just one of those 24
hour things. Like a head cold.
257
00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:24,538
Tomorrow we could be back to normal.
258
00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:27,864
Just try not to attract
any unnecessary attention.
259
00:21:47,516 --> 00:21:50,247
Gross, I have to touch it? Ewww!
260
00:21:53,576 --> 00:21:56,799
I will never eat finger food from a
buffet again for as long as I live.
261
00:22:04,797 --> 00:22:09,359
Your homework was to prepare a
speech on the greatest living American.
262
00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:14,092
I'm sorry I missed it
but I was excused...
263
00:22:14,198 --> 00:22:16,441
from homework due to
cheerleading practice.
264
00:22:16,828 --> 00:22:18,138
I see. And Nell?
265
00:22:21,972 --> 00:22:22,990
What?
266
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:26,704
Your speech please. On the
greatest living American?
267
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:40,871
I think the greatest
living American is...
268
00:22:44,542 --> 00:22:45,950
...J-Lo.
269
00:22:46,049 --> 00:22:48,910
- J-Lo?
- You know, Jennifer Lopez?
270
00:22:49,132 --> 00:22:55,356
Singer, movie star. She had a thing
with that dude from 'Pearl Harbor'.
271
00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:58,001
I know who J-Lo is now.
272
00:22:58,219 --> 00:23:01,395
I am just very interested
to hear what you...
273
00:23:01,504 --> 00:23:05,039
perceive qualifies her for
such a unique accolade.
274
00:23:06,666 --> 00:23:09,737
The thing about J-Lo is that...
275
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:10,868
...she's from the streets..
276
00:23:11,809 --> 00:23:17,713
And now she's like this big movie
star and... she's still really cool.
277
00:23:18,740 --> 00:23:21,847
She used to have a little,
now she's got a lot.
278
00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:26,584
But she's still J-Lo from the block.
And I think that's pretty damn great.
279
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:32,071
And she's American.
And she's alive.
280
00:23:33,741 --> 00:23:35,147
I see.
281
00:23:40,183 --> 00:23:42,053
J-Lo?
282
00:23:42,273 --> 00:23:44,514
Pretty good, huh? It just
flew right into my head.
283
00:23:44,905 --> 00:23:49,113
At least there's plenty of space for it to land.
You made a complete fool out of me in there.
284
00:23:49,336 --> 00:23:53,257
What is your problem? I happen to
like J-Lo! She's a hot booty!
285
00:23:53,477 --> 00:23:56,764
You do not bestow an
honor such as 'Greatest
286
00:23:56,871 --> 00:23:58,413
Living American' solely on
the fact of a hot booty!
287
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:02,982
I didn't! She also happen to
have a terrific set of funbags!
288
00:24:04,057 --> 00:24:06,824
Woody Deanne, you're
an idiot and a Philistine.
289
00:24:07,043 --> 00:24:10,828
You know what, I don't appreciate
you calling me an idiot.
290
00:24:11,053 --> 00:24:12,814
And I don't know what
that other thing is...
291
00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:15,719
but I sure as hell
am not one of them either.
292
00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,448
Hey Woody!
293
00:24:30,380 --> 00:24:34,045
What a lovely sight.
Swill time at Getty Central.
294
00:24:36,737 --> 00:24:40,354
Dear God, now I have to eat
with these creatures?
295
00:24:44,290 --> 00:24:46,457
My parents are going
out tonight, maybe you...
296
00:24:46,563 --> 00:24:48,638
wanna come over to discuss
what you wanna wear
297
00:24:48,744 --> 00:24:49,901
for the homecoming dance?
298
00:24:50,006 --> 00:24:52,348
I have things to do.
299
00:24:52,567 --> 00:24:56,875
What I meant was: we'd be alone.
300
00:24:57,644 --> 00:25:00,241
So maybe I might do
that thing when I...
301
00:25:06,518 --> 00:25:10,524
- You filthy little slut!
- You do that?
302
00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:16,196
Last week he begged me to do that!
303
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:22,382
- So what is it, what do you do?
- Get lost, you little spastic.
304
00:25:24,376 --> 00:25:28,295
I can not believe Woody turned down
the chance to have sex with me tonight!
305
00:25:28,557 --> 00:25:30,070
Am I in like bizarro world?
306
00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:33,143
If I had Richard Wainwright
sniffing around me,
307
00:25:33,249 --> 00:25:35,269
I wouldn't be wasting my time on Woody.
308
00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:37,652
It's not that simple Tiffany.
309
00:25:37,972 --> 00:25:40,738
Today football captain,
tomorrow GQ Man of the Year.
310
00:25:40,999 --> 00:25:44,237
You need to plan these things!
311
00:25:44,453 --> 00:25:46,243
Personally I'd be relived if Horse
didn't want to have sex.
312
00:25:47,051 --> 00:25:48,186
Sometimes I think it's
313
00:25:48,293 --> 00:25:49,595
the only reason he's with me.
314
00:25:49,702 --> 00:25:53,925
That is so not true Chanel.
You have many fine qualities.
315
00:25:54,033 --> 00:25:55,283
Really? Like what?
316
00:25:57,168 --> 00:25:58,376
You have excellent taste in earrings.
317
00:26:00,367 --> 00:26:03,219
And your hair looks really good.
318
00:26:06,169 --> 00:26:08,851
And you're friends
with me. Case closed.
319
00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:21,480
- Woodster! Come on in, my man.
- How are you?
320
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:22,382
Cool as frozen shit, homie.
321
00:26:23,029 --> 00:26:25,660
Yo, we have extra practice tonight,
alright, don't forget!
322
00:26:27,978 --> 00:26:30,319
I'm in the mood to
kick some serious ass!
323
00:26:30,538 --> 00:26:32,030
Oh yeah, me too!
324
00:26:33,244 --> 00:26:36,231
...only I have a prior
engagement that...
325
00:26:36,337 --> 00:26:39,469
conflicts with the
whole ass kicking thing.
326
00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:42,106
Wait, we're a week away
from the game against Lamont.
327
00:26:42,330 --> 00:26:45,996
Do you know what the coach will do to
your nuts if you don't show up tonight?
328
00:26:46,212 --> 00:26:50,303
No, I'll tell you. He will
grind them into dust.
329
00:26:51,248 --> 00:26:52,473
Nut dust.
330
00:26:52,698 --> 00:26:54,958
And the only kids you'd be able to have
is the itsy-bitsy patter ones.
331
00:28:02,705 --> 00:28:04,282
Alright, here we go!
332
00:28:05,692 --> 00:28:06,880
Wood?
333
00:28:07,911 --> 00:28:09,608
Cut the ball, man!
334
00:28:15,529 --> 00:28:18,126
- Woody?
- Sorry, coach.
335
00:28:22,057 --> 00:28:25,010
Alright, let's get this.
336
00:28:27,049 --> 00:28:29,153
Go!
337
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,937
- Wood man, come on!
- Wake up, boy!
338
00:28:36,052 --> 00:28:37,106
Sorry, coach.
339
00:28:42,537 --> 00:28:44,028
I got it!
340
00:28:50,923 --> 00:28:55,417
What the hell were you doing out
there? You play like a damn woman!
341
00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:57,211
I feel a little peaky.
342
00:28:58,109 --> 00:29:00,555
- It means off colour.
- I know what 'peaky' means!
343
00:29:00,778 --> 00:29:03,035
You listen to me, and you listen good!
344
00:29:03,209 --> 00:29:06,579
This homecoming game is gonna be
the biggest game in those boys' lives.
345
00:29:06,794 --> 00:29:09,564
You may have a god given talent but I...
346
00:29:09,670 --> 00:29:12,509
will not risk you letting them down.
Do you hear me?
347
00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:15,846
Yes, coach!
348
00:29:16,395 --> 00:29:17,489
You get your shit
together or you'll be...
349
00:29:17,596 --> 00:29:19,398
watching the game from the side lines!
350
00:29:23,798 --> 00:29:26,783
Don't let it bug you buddy,
just hang in there!
351
00:29:27,512 --> 00:29:30,872
Look, you just hit a slump,
just like a golfer.
352
00:29:31,095 --> 00:29:34,965
It doesn't matter how big you are,
every now and again you lose a swing.
353
00:29:35,191 --> 00:29:39,705
So you keep working on your strokes
and banging those balls.
354
00:29:41,548 --> 00:29:43,501
Do you wanna touch my helmet?
355
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:47,968
My lucky helmet. It works
for me, maybe it'll...
356
00:29:48,074 --> 00:29:50,453
do you the same. Go
ahead, give it a rub!
357
00:30:20,129 --> 00:30:23,861
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
358
00:30:24,736 --> 00:30:29,332
Oh man, this is crappy music!
359
00:30:52,328 --> 00:30:53,346
Loser!
360
00:30:53,565 --> 00:30:55,942
Yeah, you too and your mama!
361
00:31:01,884 --> 00:31:03,583
I heard about football practice.
362
00:31:03,805 --> 00:31:06,437
- Those boys are really rough.
I'm covered in bruises.
363
00:31:06,663 --> 00:31:09,450
I don't care about your bruises.
If coach drops you my life is over.
364
00:31:09,674 --> 00:31:13,458
Why are you so worked up?
It's only a game!
365
00:31:13,812 --> 00:31:15,668
No, it's not only a
game. It's football!
366
00:31:15,775 --> 00:31:17,799
Jesus, don't you get anything?
367
00:31:18,017 --> 00:31:20,676
I get that whatever this is
it clearly isn't a head cold.
368
00:31:20,782 --> 00:31:23,381
Do you have any better
theories, smart ass?
369
00:31:24,337 --> 00:31:27,595
Look at you. What am I wearing?
370
00:31:28,854 --> 00:31:31,535
Chinos and a Oxford cotton button-down
I found in the back of your closet.
371
00:31:31,755 --> 00:31:36,892
Which is exactly where it is meant to stay
until another one of my relatives croaks!
372
00:31:37,075 --> 00:31:38,454
Nonsense, you can't
beat the classic look!
373
00:31:38,667 --> 00:31:40,479
My hair, you've made it all dorky!
374
00:31:40,585 --> 00:31:42,709
A center parting is
very European looking.
375
00:31:42,934 --> 00:31:44,477
No, it is very dorky looking!
376
00:31:44,584 --> 00:31:46,362
Excuse me for taking a little
pride in your appearance!
377
00:31:46,585 --> 00:31:50,589
You could have ruined my life,
I look like a male version of you!
378
00:31:51,065 --> 00:31:54,858
As long as I'm stuck inside
this disgusting body,...
379
00:31:55,965 --> 00:31:57,344
you'll just have
to put up with it!
380
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:01,569
Alright, if that's how
you want it, sweet cheeks.
381
00:32:11,728 --> 00:32:17,061
Scissor Sisters:
Filthy / Gorgeous
382
00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:51,756
Nice ass!
383
00:32:52,781 --> 00:32:54,718
You're looking fine, sugar!
384
00:32:55,111 --> 00:32:57,495
- What are you doing?
- Protecting your modesty.
385
00:32:57,602 --> 00:32:59,312
You look like a common prostitute!
386
00:32:59,418 --> 00:33:01,102
Damn, I was going for
a high class hooker!
387
00:33:01,210 --> 00:33:03,696
You can not walk into school like this!
388
00:33:03,918 --> 00:33:07,008
I can do whatever I want. Now get
your hands off me or I'll scream.
389
00:33:35,258 --> 00:33:39,006
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be Shakespeare.
390
00:33:47,077 --> 00:33:49,030
OK, here goes.
391
00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:52,236
Nice penis.
392
00:34:12,316 --> 00:34:15,385
Nothing like a bit of personal hygiene.
393
00:34:28,011 --> 00:34:29,352
Well, it has to be done.
394
00:34:33,843 --> 00:34:35,796
Come on, think about it.
395
00:34:36,018 --> 00:34:38,700
And she's totally
pretending to be pretty.
396
00:34:43,266 --> 00:34:46,390
- Hello, Woody.
- Hello, Breanna.
397
00:34:46,613 --> 00:34:48,593
I have something I want to say to you.
398
00:34:48,699 --> 00:34:50,213
Let me guess: you're sorry
about blowing me off.
399
00:34:51,563 --> 00:34:54,716
No. I'm afraid we can't
see each other any more.
400
00:34:55,682 --> 00:34:57,465
Very funny, Woody.
401
00:34:57,687 --> 00:35:00,843
Well, I don't find you
that attractive any more.
402
00:35:01,355 --> 00:35:04,427
You just look kind of plain.
403
00:35:06,092 --> 00:35:09,114
And don't worry about your moustache.
Some guys are really into that shit.
404
00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:13,511
Suck on this, Woody Dean.
405
00:35:13,729 --> 00:35:15,476
I can't believe he said that to her!
406
00:35:15,692 --> 00:35:19,052
You can't really see the hairs anyway.
407
00:35:19,301 --> 00:35:21,190
What just happened?
408
00:35:21,409 --> 00:35:23,929
Seems you and your
girlfriend just broke up.
409
00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:25,220
Commiserations.
410
00:35:25,506 --> 00:35:26,739
No! Me and Breanna?
411
00:35:26,847 --> 00:35:29,679
Breanna and I, but let's
not quip over details.
412
00:35:31,350 --> 00:35:34,372
- You broke up with my girlfriend?
- You'll get over it.
413
00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:38,166
Wanna go for a ride?
414
00:35:38,604 --> 00:35:40,860
I have to go, tonight's
a big night for me.
415
00:35:41,272 --> 00:35:42,971
You too.
416
00:35:44,771 --> 00:35:48,994
Congratulations. Tonight's the night
you finally get to lose it.
417
00:35:52,219 --> 00:35:53,663
Nicky!
418
00:36:11,907 --> 00:36:14,179
There you go, babe.
419
00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:16,080
Thanks.
420
00:36:16,367 --> 00:36:19,201
Nice...
421
00:36:19,441 --> 00:36:21,653
- ... trailer.
- It's a dump.
422
00:36:21,872 --> 00:36:23,892
But... my folks are away...
423
00:36:24,669 --> 00:36:28,115
...and we won't be disturbed.
424
00:36:33,164 --> 00:36:37,542
Wow! Never seen a chick
drink like that before.
425
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:41,774
My throat's a little dry.
426
00:36:44,466 --> 00:36:48,505
Maybe I could moisten it up a little.
427
00:36:48,718 --> 00:36:52,266
I can't. I need another beer.
428
00:36:55,157 --> 00:36:57,072
Sure.
429
00:37:06,590 --> 00:37:09,186
- You OK?
- I'm fine thank you.
430
00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:13,185
You've been acting
kind of weird lately.
431
00:37:15,291 --> 00:37:17,598
I think I know what's on your mind.
432
00:37:17,934 --> 00:37:19,700
- I don't think you do.
- Let me guess.
433
00:37:20,389 --> 00:37:23,743
You think if you don't
impress those scouts,
434
00:37:23,850 --> 00:37:26,832
you're gonna end up
working with your dad
435
00:37:26,937 --> 00:37:28,154
in spatula world.
436
00:37:528,666 --> 00:37:29,770
What?
437
00:37:30,372 --> 00:37:35,482
I ain't stupid, Woody. Just
let things fall into place.
438
00:37:36,304 --> 00:37:38,681
Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you.
439
00:37:41,789 --> 00:37:46,267
So you don't want to work
with spatulas, what the fuck, hey?
440
00:37:54,587 --> 00:37:56,081
Not here.
441
00:37:57,061 --> 00:37:59,270
OK, let's go to the master bedroom.
442
00:38:03,079 --> 00:38:06,035
Let's get cracking baby,
cause daddy's packing!
443
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:12,358
Oh god, what was I
thinking? This is so gay!
444
00:38:14,664 --> 00:38:16,194
What are you waiting for, baby?
445
00:38:16,756 --> 00:38:19,351
Daddy wants to see some flesh.
446
00:38:19,614 --> 00:38:23,365
He's gonna make me his bitch!
Woody the bitch boy!
447
00:38:23,710 --> 00:38:25,647
Maybe you need a little help?
448
00:38:27,829 --> 00:38:29,408
I have to pee.
449
00:38:30,623 --> 00:38:31,338
Now?
450
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,784
Yeah, I can feel I have
to freaking go. So, you...
451
00:38:34,891 --> 00:38:35,782
get undressed -
452
00:38:35,997 --> 00:38:38,377
and don't start without me.
453
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:46,596
Hey, come back!
454
00:38:52,256 --> 00:38:54,702
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
455
00:38:54,807 --> 00:38:57,064
Not this shit again, man!
456
00:38:57,227 --> 00:39:02,547
It's very melodic. If you give it a
chance you might learn to enjoy it.
457
00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:05,257
Elton John: Candle
in the Wind
458
00:39:06,375 --> 00:39:08,377
No. Still shit.
459
00:39:08,892 --> 00:39:10,930
Have you heard about
that grease ball Nicky?
460
00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:16,135
No. - Him and pencil-girl,
they got it on last night.
461
00:39:21,881 --> 00:39:23,750
Didn't you guys hear?
No, what?
462
00:39:23,855 --> 00:39:25,340
She did it in the trailer park.
463
00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:30,392
She probably didn't even
know it was a trailer park.
464
00:39:39,787 --> 00:39:41,740
Woody, are you crying?
465
00:39:42,309 --> 00:39:46,094
What's wrong?
466
00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:49,555
I'm sorry.
467
00:39:49,984 --> 00:39:55,649
I just found out I lost my
virginity in a trailer park.
468
00:40:05,509 --> 00:40:09,682
I gotta go.
I got a class.
469
00:40:35,703 --> 00:40:38,165
Hey, do you think she
might do it with me?
470
00:40:38,774 --> 00:40:41,323
No! Get lost.
471
00:40:50,678 --> 00:40:52,734
What?
472
00:40:53,561 --> 00:40:58,869
Sorry about that.
Don't worry. You had a great time.
473
00:40:59,894 --> 00:41:01,356
Trust me, you'll never forget it.
474
00:41:01,666 --> 00:41:03,450
How could you do this to me?
475
00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:09,336
I know you're not the best looking
guy in the world but it's only sex.
476
00:41:10,116 --> 00:41:12,626
I wanted it to be special.
477
00:41:13,973 --> 00:41:17,657
Well, you started it.'A central
parting is very European looking'.
478
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,154
You lost me my girlfriend.
479
00:41:19,374 --> 00:41:21,529
I was saving it for the
boy I fell in love with.
480
00:41:30,150 --> 00:41:32,575
Look, nothing happened, OK?
481
00:41:35,628 --> 00:41:37,753
- Really?
- Really.
482
00:41:39,108 --> 00:41:41,215
That's not what Nicky
is telling everyone.
483
00:41:41,322 --> 00:41:42,348
Well, Nicky is a liar.
484
00:41:43,546 --> 00:41:46,094
Try telling that to the entire world.
485
00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:49,494
How's it feel to be a cheap little slut?
486
00:41:53,852 --> 00:41:58,402
Looks like I have to have a talk with
that son of a bitch, cause no one...
487
00:41:58,508 --> 00:41:60,330
calls us a slut.
488
00:42:14,352 --> 00:42:16,793
Pass the ball!
489
00:42:17,848 --> 00:42:19,396
Nicky, here's your ho!
490
00:42:20,968 --> 00:42:25,219
- Hey, I'm looking for you!
- You found me, baby.
491
00:42:25,538 --> 00:42:27,462
What the hell did you say?
492
00:42:29,477 --> 00:42:31,581
Nothing
493
00:42:32,269 --> 00:42:33,847
Oh really?
494
00:42:33,991 --> 00:42:36,334
...that wasn't 100 percent true.
495
00:42:37,669 --> 00:42:39,011
You greasy scumbag liar.
496
00:42:39,443 --> 00:42:42,466
And you've got a very
dirty little mouth.
497
00:42:42,709 --> 00:42:44,287
Then again...
498
00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:48,060
...I already knew that.
499
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:52,280
- A little hellcat, ain't you?
- Asshole!
500
00:42:55,827 --> 00:42:57,951
That's no way to treat a lady, mister!
501
00:42:58,173 --> 00:43:01,278
And what kind of word is 'ain't you'.
It's wrong on so many levels.
502
00:43:02,586 --> 00:43:04,400
Why don't you tell everyone
what really happened?
503
00:43:04,615 --> 00:43:06,822
- Tell them!
- Nothing! Nothing happened!
504
00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,435
I think you owe this sweet, innocent,
505
00:43:09,542 --> 00:43:12,119
yet very attractive
young lady an apology.
506
00:43:14,214 --> 00:43:16,793
Sorry.
507
00:43:17,946 --> 00:43:19,644
I'm sorry!
508
00:43:19,933 --> 00:43:21,072
Thanks.
509
00:43:27,612 --> 00:43:31,143
It's so much fun to hit someone.
I'd like to punch him again.
510
00:43:31,566 --> 00:43:37,843
Easy champ. Doesn't mean I forgive you
about screwing up about Breanna and I.
511
00:43:38,493 --> 00:43:39,070
Breanna and me.
512
00:43:40,673 --> 00:43:42,982
Sorry.
I'll try and fix things.
513
00:43:43,207 --> 00:43:46,109
What's the point?
I'm a girl, remember?
514
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,698
Jesus, what am I gonna do?
Homecoming's next Friday.
515
00:43:52,253 --> 00:43:54,121
My life is a complete disaster.
516
00:43:54,345 --> 00:43:56,543
What were we doing
before this happened?
517
00:43:56,651 --> 00:43:57,026
Arguing?
518
00:43:57,245 --> 00:43:59,672
- We always argue.
- Not always.
519
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,124
We were at the museum.
520
00:44:03,645 --> 00:44:08,887
- In front of that ugly Mexican dude.
- Aztek. Texcatlipoca.
521
00:44:09,106 --> 00:44:12,062
- That's the guy.
- He's the ancient god of sorcery.
522
00:44:24,850 --> 00:44:26,635
We close in 5 minutes, folks.
523
00:44:35,497 --> 00:44:36,367
OK, you go first.
524
00:44:36,473 --> 00:44:38,603
No, you go first, you
have the biggest mouth.
525
00:44:39,148 --> 00:44:43,230
- Hi, how are you?
- Is that the best you can do?
526
00:44:43,337 --> 00:44:45,375
He's a god, not your aunt Betsy.
527
00:44:45,481 --> 00:44:48,488
You may have got the
impression that this...
528
00:44:48,596 --> 00:44:51,538
young fellow and I didn't
like it each other.
529
00:44:52,204 --> 00:44:56,226
But let me tell you, that could not
be any farther from the truth.
530
00:44:56,447 --> 00:45:00,093
That's right. Sure we were fighting
but all friends fight, right?
531
00:45:00,311 --> 00:45:07,791
How could you not like Nell? She is
really tidy and smart, way smart!
532
00:45:09,015 --> 00:45:12,337
Kinda cute, especially when she
does that thing with her nose.
533
00:45:13,195 --> 00:45:14,853
We get along really well.
534
00:45:15,626 --> 00:45:18,951
- Yeah, we're actually very close.
- The closest.
535
00:45:19,168 --> 00:45:20,478
Real homies.
536
00:45:20,704 --> 00:45:22,912
- To the end, bro.
- Don't overdo it.
537
00:45:26,165 --> 00:45:30,035
Now that we've got that cleared
up, here's what we're gonna do.
538
00:45:30,304 --> 00:45:32,391
We close our eyes, count to three -
539
00:45:32,609 --> 00:45:36,138
and when we open them up, we'll
be back in our right bodies.
540
00:45:36,661 --> 00:45:38,153
If that's OK with you -
541
00:45:38,367 --> 00:45:43,615
which I'm sure it is, since this
is just a big misunderstanding we can
542
00:45:43,722 --> 00:45:45,834
laugh about in years to come.
543
00:45:46,219 --> 00:45:47,528
Let's do it.
544
00:45:55,691 --> 00:45:56,829
One...
545
00:45:57,994 --> 00:45:59,607
...two...
546
00:46:00,169 --> 00:46:01,576
...three.
547
00:46:09,493 --> 00:46:11,618
Maybe he only speaks Mexican?
548
00:46:12,841 --> 00:46:15,692
So what are we gonna do next,
buy him an enchilada?
549
00:46:16,321 --> 00:46:18,662
I had my heart set on Yale.
550
00:46:19,393 --> 00:46:21,772
No, please, not the tears, please?
551
00:46:22,958 --> 00:46:26,591
You think I wanna end up
in my dad's spatula store?
552
00:46:26,816 --> 00:46:28,686
You don't know.
553
00:46:32,363 --> 00:46:33,637
Wait, wait!
554
00:46:34,178 --> 00:46:36,181
You beat up Nicky.
-So?
555
00:46:41,304 --> 00:46:44,581
You have my body, my strength.
556
00:46:44,888 --> 00:46:47,739
All I need to do is
show you how to use it.
557
00:46:51,501 --> 00:46:55,777
And we could study so you
could get through my interview.
558
00:46:55,884 --> 00:46:55,130
Huh?
559
00:46:56,386 --> 00:47:01,719
Orson: Tryin' to Help
560
00:47:39,377 --> 00:47:41,566
Ready?
561
00:47:41,084 --> 00:47:43,376
As hard as you like.
562
00:47:48,739 --> 00:47:50,183
Come on.
563
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,641
Once the sign is given -
564
00:48:07,858 --> 00:48:09,119
the center snaps the
ball to the quarterback...
565
00:48:09,226 --> 00:48:12,251
and the game begins.
Are you with me so far?
566
00:48:14,746 --> 00:48:16,360
The offence has a
limited amount of time...
567
00:48:16,580 --> 00:48:19,127
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
568
00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:21,509
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
569
00:48:21,725 --> 00:48:25,135
Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of May.
570
00:48:25,352 --> 00:48:28,457
And summer's lease hath
all too short a date.
571
00:48:30,064 --> 00:48:32,302
So, he's not actually
saying that she's like a...
572
00:48:32,409 --> 00:48:35,714
summer's day? He say she is
hot like a summer's day?
573
00:48:35,933 --> 00:48:37,886
Yeah, that's it exactly!
574
00:48:40,839 --> 00:48:42,918
Right, you know, I still
can't imagine ever...
575
00:48:43,025 --> 00:48:45,062
actually saying something
like that to someone.
576
00:48:45,917 --> 00:48:47,578
Feel like so uncool.
577
00:48:47,794 --> 00:48:49,569
Maybe you'd just have
to meet the right...
578
00:48:49,676 --> 00:48:51,116
person to say that kind of stuff to.
579
00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:54,440
Or maybe I just don't
wanna look like a doofus.
580
00:48:54,661 --> 00:48:58,581
Well, Shaky must really have liked that
one. She must have been some babe.
581
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,263
Actually, Shakespeare
wrote this to a young man.
582
00:49:01,872 --> 00:49:05,063
- Shakespeare was a homo?
- We don't know that exactly.
583
00:49:05,328 --> 00:49:07,173
He writes a poem to
a guy telling him...
584
00:49:07,279 --> 00:49:09,078
how hot he is and you
don't know exactly?
585
00:49:09,297 --> 00:49:12,112
Gees, what do you have to do
before you know exactly?
586
00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:15,056
Write an ode to a schlong?
587
00:49:15,483 --> 00:49:17,180
I think that's enough for today.
588
00:49:17,402 --> 00:49:19,510
The bard was a bender.
Who would've though?
589
00:49:20,030 --> 00:49:21,644
See you tomorrow.
590
00:49:22,078 --> 00:49:23,484
Good night.
591
00:49:29,781 --> 00:49:31,571
Listen, I was wrong about
your parents. They're...
592
00:49:31,678 --> 00:49:34,362
alright once you get used
to your mom's language.
593
00:49:34,579 --> 00:49:35,530
Mom's pretty cool.
594
00:49:38,485 --> 00:49:40,486
Woody, can I ask you a question?
595
00:49:42,282 --> 00:49:44,556
Sure.
596
00:49:45,779 --> 00:49:49,698
In the morning...
597
00:49:50,364 --> 00:49:52,062
- Never mind.
- What?
598
00:49:52,284 --> 00:49:54,237
- No, it's nothing really.
- Go on.
599
00:49:54,460 --> 00:49:56,499
It's a little embarrassing but...
600
00:49:56,722 --> 00:49:57,452
...every morning you...
601
00:49:57,287 --> 00:50:01,647
...have this thing....
you know...
602
00:50:01,834 --> 00:50:07,701
- The thing that you...
- What?
603
00:50:08,607 --> 00:50:11,288
You know, every morning?
604
00:50:12,494 --> 00:50:18,025
- You mean the old boner.
- That's not the word I would have used.
605
00:50:18,249 --> 00:50:19,797
Boy, do I miss that guy.
606
00:50:19,904 --> 00:50:23,794
I'm sure you do. What I'd like to
know: how can I get rid of it?
607
00:50:25,245 --> 00:50:26,823
Only one way I know of.
608
00:50:27,975 --> 00:50:30,317
That's disgusting... I would never...
609
00:50:30,750 --> 00:50:32,242
...there's got to
be another way, right?
610
00:50:34,801 --> 00:50:37,468
Well, there is one thing that I
do in case of emergencies....
611
00:50:37,729 --> 00:50:40,883
...sort of lets the air out of the
old tire, if you know what I'm saying.
612
00:50:41,696 --> 00:50:46,550
First I close my eyes,
and I think of you.
613
00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:53,228
- Works every the time.
- Good night.
614
00:50:53,448 --> 00:50:54,807
See ya!
615
00:51:10,855 --> 00:51:14,114
- Hey, you want one?
- No, thanks.
616
00:51:16,170 --> 00:51:20,343
You've had it quiet up
there tonight. Are you OK?
617
00:51:21,588 --> 00:51:23,345
Yeah, I was just studying with Nell.
618
00:51:23,451 --> 00:51:25,066
Is that what you young people
are calling it these days?
619
00:51:25,494 --> 00:51:29,855
- Nell's not that kind of girl.
- I know.
620
00:51:30,377 --> 00:51:31,784
She's a good kid.
621
00:51:32,809 --> 00:51:36,196
You know, way back,
her dad Ted and I used...
622
00:51:36,303 --> 00:51:38,945
to hang out together.
He was a good guy, Ted.
623
00:51:39,177 --> 00:51:40,682
He still is.
624
00:51:41,603 --> 00:51:43,437
I mean, as far as I know.
625
00:51:44,376 --> 00:51:46,990
What ever happened between you two?
626
00:51:47,211 --> 00:51:52,623
Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess.
She didn't really approve.
627
00:51:54,123 --> 00:51:58,617
We weren't her kind of people,
I guess.
628
00:51:58,984 --> 00:52:01,191
Good night, son.
629
00:52:01,459 --> 00:52:03,691
Good night, dad.
630
00:52:13,261 --> 00:52:15,300
Oh god, she's crying.
631
00:52:19,234 --> 00:52:20,727
Chanel?
632
00:52:22,179 --> 00:52:23,877
Are you OK?
- No
633
00:52:25,890 --> 00:52:27,637
Oh crap...
634
00:52:31,393 --> 00:52:32,970
What's wrong?
635
00:52:33,356 --> 00:52:37,492
It's about Harry. He's
seeing some other girl.
636
00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:40,514
No, he wouldn't do that.
637
00:52:41,249 --> 00:52:45,254
Well, how come I saw him with
his tongue stuck down her throat.
638
00:52:46,753 --> 00:52:48,671
Did you see who it was?
639
00:52:48,814 --> 00:52:54,038
No, they were in his car. But I
saw what they were doing clear enough.
640
00:52:55,756 --> 00:52:57,947
Why are guys such jerks?
641
00:53:01,197 --> 00:53:06,015
Why am I asking you, you know less about
guys than anybody on the planet.
642
00:53:08,708 --> 00:53:09,933
I'm sorry.
643
00:53:10,158 --> 00:53:12,973
- I didn't mean that.
- You're right.
644
00:53:13,188 --> 00:53:15,444
What do I know about guys?
645
00:53:17,922 --> 00:53:22,060
I was so stupid. I know how Horse is like.
646
00:53:23,725 --> 00:53:25,322
Why do you go out with them?
647
00:53:26,864 --> 00:53:31,680
Cause when I started at
Westdale I felt invisible.
648
00:53:31,899 --> 00:53:36,545
And then I started going out
with Horse and I became friends -
649
00:53:36,762 --> 00:53:39,295
with Breanna and
Tiffany and Woody and...
650
00:53:39,401 --> 00:53:42,175
everyone. And then people
started to notice me.
651
00:53:43,674 --> 00:53:45,882
And I liked that.
652
00:53:47,814 --> 00:53:51,988
So, I guess I'm just afraid
of feeling invisible again.
653
00:53:54,169 --> 00:53:58,428
You know I think that a lot more
people feel that way than you realize.
654
00:53:59,161 --> 00:54:00,945
You do?
655
00:54:01,679 --> 00:54:05,344
You go your own way no
matter what anyone thinks.
656
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,738
I admire you, Nell.
657
00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,944
And this is Mr. Stinky,
you have to say hello.
658
00:54:20,050 --> 00:54:23,004
Why did you bring that pencil
neck to our sleepover?
659
00:54:24,229 --> 00:54:25,504
Nell's OK.
660
00:54:25,723 --> 00:54:28,491
She just wants to hang, right?
661
00:54:29,777 --> 00:54:32,591
Oh yeah, Carey told me we're all
going in our jammies.
662
00:54:37,415 --> 00:54:40,145
I see you finally seen the
errors of your geekish ways?
663
00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:42,905
I have. This girl
just wants to have fun.
664
00:54:44,672 --> 00:54:47,928
OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's!
665
00:54:50,841 --> 00:54:54,150
Woo, fuckin' woo!
666
00:54:54,845 --> 00:54:54,912
667
00:55:02,416 --> 00:55:05,844
Lock target in 5 and will
you check out that ass!
668
00:55:06,535 --> 00:55:07,590
What about Chanel?
669
00:55:10,459 --> 00:55:11,480
No, don't see her.
670
00:55:11,699 --> 00:55:13,396
Think about it Harry -
671
00:55:13,617 --> 00:55:16,428
are you willing to betray
the love of a good...
672
00:55:16,534 --> 00:55:19,284
woman for the cheap thrill
of a one night stand?
673
00:55:24,370 --> 00:55:28,119
You crack me up, you know that boy.
674
00:55:28,337 --> 00:55:30,187
You were always into the
'faithful' Woody, but I'm the Horse -
675
00:55:30,408 --> 00:55:33,921
and Horse people knows of
no such boundaries. And plus -
676
00:55:34,139 --> 00:55:38,531
at night I'm a locked target
677
00:55:40,156 --> 00:55:43,195
You know what happens. A few drinks,
quality control goes out the window -
678
00:55:43,422 --> 00:55:45,304
and before you know
it, you're sucking...
679
00:55:45,412 --> 00:55:47,293
face with some swill
muncher from downtown.
680
00:55:47,518 --> 00:55:50,879
Or worse still. I end up here with you -
681
00:55:51,103 --> 00:55:54,268
drunk on some dark street
telling you I love you.
682
00:55:54,974 --> 00:55:57,666
And you know me doesn't
want that to happen, homie.
683
00:55:58,015 --> 00:56:00,052
Let's go to a party.
684
00:56:00,181 --> 00:56:00,298
685
00:56:00,303 --> 00:56:500,346
686
00:56:00,352 --> 00:56:03,676
So Breanna, you're not
seeing Woody anymore?
687
00:56:03,782 --> 00:56:04,228
That is so over.
688
00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:08,064
Such a shame. I mean, you
guys were the perfect couple.
689
00:56:08,874 --> 00:56:12,167
Duh. I was only seeing him
because he's the football captain.
690
00:56:12,374 --> 00:56:15,011
Without me, he's just another dumb
jock with his brains in his shorts.
691
00:56:15,232 --> 00:56:18,016
Which is convenient because not
much else is going on down there.
692
00:56:30,933 --> 00:56:31,566
Loser! Drink up, man!
693
00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:37,155
Sugababes: Push the Button
694
00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:37,353
695
00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:41,744
Manicure, pedicure, face
masks. Are we done yet?
696
00:56:43,159 --> 00:56:48,382
Nell, I couldn't help noticing that
you're a little on the bristly side.
697
00:56:51,222 --> 00:56:53,241
Down below.
698
00:56:54,655 --> 00:56:58,300
You've got sort of a
rainforest thing going on.
699
00:56:58,519 --> 00:57:01,708
It's a bush and isn't it supposed to be bushy?
700
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:07,061
- We've all gone totally latino.
- Totally.
701
00:57:07,710 --> 00:57:08,729
Really?
702
00:57:08,948 --> 00:57:10,864
You should too.
- Yeah - Absolutely!
703
00:57:11,550 --> 00:57:13,588
You know, we could do
it for you right now.
704
00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:15,709
Latino.
705
00:57:17,779 --> 00:57:19,733
What the hell, let's do it!
706
00:57:20,022 --> 00:57:23,361
OK girls, we've got a green
light on the Brazilian wax.
707
00:57:23,581 --> 00:57:25,177
Tiffany, bring me scissors
and depilatory strips.
708
00:57:25,397 --> 00:57:28,675
Chanel, I'm gonna need towels and
hot water. Lots of it!
709
00:57:28,897 --> 00:57:32,459
Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly...
710
00:57:43,146 --> 00:57:44,674
One more, give me one more!
711
00:57:50,952 --> 00:57:52,531
Bite down on this.
712
00:57:53,428 --> 00:57:55,126
On three. One...
713
00:57:55,434 --> 00:57:59,216
Maybe this is a bad idea.
- Excellent!
714
00:58:02,339 --> 00:58:04,681
Did I say you I love you, man?
715
00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:07,968
I really do love you, man.
716
00:58:08,569 --> 00:58:12,526
You're like... my... twin brother.
717
00:58:14,031 --> 00:58:17,901
You're white but you're my twin brother.
718
00:58:22,821 --> 00:58:25,502
Man, this is some kind of brazilian.
719
00:58:27,579 --> 00:58:29,362
How are you feeling?
720
00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:32,690
A little better.
721
00:58:34,534 --> 00:58:37,640
- How much did you drink last night?
- I don't know.
722
00:58:37,904 --> 00:58:43,588
I just remember feeling unusually
happy and having a really good time -
723
00:58:43,811 --> 00:58:46,560
and then like somebody picked up
the room and started spinning it.
724
00:58:46,833 --> 00:58:48,826
I don't know, I'm an idiot.
725
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,602
Think of it as a rite of passage.
Go easy next time.
726
00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:57,693
Thanks for taking care of me.
727
00:59:03,077 --> 00:59:05,547
See you after lunch. We
have stuff to do today.
728
00:59:05,653 --> 00:59:07,268
Yeah, I know.
729
00:59:08,947 --> 00:59:13,949
Drop back, pump it and
then throw the ball.
730
00:59:15,918 --> 00:59:17,532
Alright, I can do that.
731
00:59:21,551 --> 00:59:23,078
No, you're telegraphing,
you're way telegraphing.
732
00:59:23,299 --> 00:59:25,471
Watch me. Get behind me.
Follow what I do.
733
00:59:28,145 --> 00:59:30,232
- What is that?
- What's what?
734
00:59:30,662 --> 00:59:34,211
That's sticking in my ass.
- Oh, sorry.
735
00:59:34,716 --> 00:59:36,414
We're meant to be playing football.
736
00:59:36,636 --> 00:59:40,385
It's not my fault. I'm sorry.
It's your thing, not mine.
737
00:59:40,603 --> 00:59:41,850
Yeah, but you're behind the wheel.
738
00:59:41,957 --> 00:59:43,418
I guess that means you
find me attractive.
739
00:59:43,632 --> 00:59:46,872
No actually, that means
you find me attractive.
740
00:59:47,089 --> 00:59:48,684
Let's not read too much into it, OK.
This thing finds anything attractive.
741
00:59:49,905 --> 00:59:51,779
That is such a guy thing to say.
742
00:59:51,886 --> 00:59:53,213
Can we just keep playing
football, please?
743
00:59:53,939 --> 00:59:56,669
Sure, as long as you keep
my dick out of your butt.
744
01:00:32,064 --> 01:00:35,963
Ah, came through the windows!
745
01:00:36,163 --> 01:00:38,247
One of the many skills
I've acquired lately.
746
01:00:38,847 --> 01:00:40,984
Keep our voices down. If my mom knows
747
01:00:41,089 --> 01:00:43,955
I have a boy in my room
she'd spontaneously combust.
748
01:00:44,178 --> 01:00:46,605
I'm trying to settle what
to wear for your interview.
749
01:00:46,825 --> 01:00:49,287
Navy suit, white blouse
and sensible shoes.
750
01:00:49,513 --> 01:00:51,637
You don't think something
a little hotter?
751
01:00:52,329 --> 01:00:54,415
It's an interview...
752
01:00:57,235 --> 01:01:01,459
- You're joking.
- At least now you can tell.
753
01:01:02,825 --> 01:01:06,659
I've been thinking.
While we're like this -
754
01:01:06,877 --> 01:01:07,982
I wonder if it would make sense if...
755
01:01:08,089 --> 01:01:10,664
we could go to the
Homecoming dance together.
756
01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:14,023
Not only because, well, who else
would we go with? I don't wanna be
757
01:01:14,130 --> 01:01:16,140
stuck with P. the whole night.
758
01:01:16,245 --> 01:01:19,878
- It wouldn't be a date.
- No, no, no.
759
01:01:21,964 --> 01:01:25,578
- I'd like that.
- Great. It's a date.
760
01:01:26,186 --> 01:01:28,444
A non-date date.
761
01:01:28,660 --> 01:01:31,429
Nell, wash hands! Dinner!
762
01:01:31,648 --> 01:01:33,686
My cue to go.
763
01:01:36,468 --> 01:01:38,301
Non-date date.
764
01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:44,017
It's alright! I'm OK!
765
01:01:49,098 --> 01:01:50,930
I will be kinda late tomorrow.
766
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,421
Kind of.
767
01:01:56,778 --> 01:01:58,902
Kind of late tomorrow.
768
01:02:00,063 --> 01:02:02,525
What is with you at the moment? Ted?
769
01:02:03,391 --> 01:02:06,073
Sometimes I feel as though I
don't know who you are anymore.
770
01:02:06,378 --> 01:02:08,889
She's growing up, Katherine.
771
01:02:12,948 --> 01:02:17,850
So, are you going to tell me
what you're doing or is it a secret?
772
01:02:18,962 --> 01:02:21,560
It's no secret, I'm
studying with Woody.
773
01:02:21,949 --> 01:02:22,968
Again?
774
01:02:23,315 --> 01:02:24,930
Yeah, you've got a problem with that?
No.
775
01:02:31,147 --> 01:02:34,083
If you want to waste your
valuable time it's your affair.
776
01:02:34,304 --> 01:02:35,918
Who says I'm wasting my time?
777
01:02:37,334 --> 01:02:38,948
Oh Nell, you only have
to look at the boy.
778
01:02:39,552 --> 01:02:40,777
What's wrong with him?
779
01:02:41,002 --> 01:02:43,599
He's stupid, he's
trouble and he's a loser.
780
01:02:44,204 --> 01:02:45,561
You told me so yourself.
781
01:02:47,853 --> 01:02:51,517
There's nothing you can do to
change that. Look at his family.
782
01:02:51,819 --> 01:02:54,114
You're up against basic genetics.
783
01:03:17,846 --> 01:03:20,578
Hi, Mr Bedworth.
784
01:03:22,027 --> 01:03:23,897
Is Nell around?
785
01:03:24,716 --> 01:03:27,879
She's gone back to school,
i think, son, she said...
786
01:03:27,987 --> 01:03:29,934
she had to do some
extra studying. She has
787
01:03:30,041 --> 01:03:31,751
her interview with Yale tomorrow.
788
01:03:31,961 --> 01:03:34,168
Ok. Well. Thanks.
789
01:03:37,155 --> 01:03:41,075
- So, how have you been, Mr. Bedworth?
- I'm fine, Woody, just fine.
790
01:03:44,238 --> 01:03:49,279
- Well, give my best to your wife.
- I will do. - Bye.
791
01:04:03,907 --> 01:04:05,690
What are you trying to do?
792
01:04:11,355 --> 01:04:14,255
- Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself!
- Back off!
793
01:04:16,773 --> 01:04:18,811
Why are you doing this?
794
01:04:21,423 --> 01:04:24,019
Because this is who I am.
795
01:04:26,458 --> 01:04:29,140
This is all I've ever been.
796
01:04:31,535 --> 01:04:33,829
And now not even that.
797
01:04:37,447 --> 01:04:40,431
Football's not who you are.
798
01:04:41,927 --> 01:04:44,099
You don't get it, do you?
799
01:04:44,359 --> 01:04:47,126
- People like you never do.
- People like me?
800
01:04:47,346 --> 01:04:50,024
What exactly is it people
like me don't get?
801
01:04:50,132 --> 01:04:51,010
People like me!
802
01:04:52,763 --> 01:04:55,191
Then educate me, please!
803
01:04:59,956 --> 01:05:00,212
Ok.
804
01:05:01,325 --> 01:05:06,448
We like to play ball.
Maybe we're even pretty good at it.
805
01:05:06,672 --> 01:05:10,931
So, maybe we get accepted to some
second rate shit kicker college -
806
01:05:11,151 --> 01:05:16,613
or maybe we go work with our dad
at the spatula store. Who knows?
807
01:05:17,338 --> 01:05:21,193
But what we don't get is a great job,
a big apartment in the city -
808
01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:23,133
and a Yale education.
809
01:05:24,241 --> 01:05:28,573
So that's what this is about. The interview?
- No!
810
01:05:30,978 --> 01:05:34,982
Yes. I don't know!
811
01:05:35,624 --> 01:05:40,272
- It's OK to be nervous.
- Nothing is OK. Nothing!
812
01:05:42,152 --> 01:05:45,986
Tomorrow I'm supposed to be playing
the most important game of my life.
813
01:05:46,205 --> 01:05:49,734
This is my destiny. Mine!
814
01:05:50,026 --> 01:05:54,435
I'm not supposed to be
attending some college interview.
815
01:05:54,651 --> 01:05:59,979
So we got the wrong lives. But sometimes
you just gotta get on with life.
816
01:06:00,796 --> 01:06:02,968
Let things fall into place.
817
01:06:06,173 --> 01:06:07,701
Do me a favour.
818
01:06:08,178 --> 01:06:11,080
Save your inspirational speeches
for someone who gives a damn.
819
01:06:12,296 --> 01:06:13,995
I know who I am.
820
01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:19,500
I'm a loser, I'm trouble and
I'm stupid. Basic genetics.
821
01:06:21,062 --> 01:06:22,639
Can't help it.
822
01:06:25,756 --> 01:06:29,100
Funny. I never took you for a quitter.
823
01:06:29,375 --> 01:06:33,708
Fefe Dobson: Be Strong
824
01:07:36,226 --> 01:07:38,973
You can go in.
825
01:07:44,928 --> 01:07:48,336
- Miss Bedworth?
- Yes, Nell.
826
01:07:48,967 --> 01:07:50,851
Please take a seat.
827
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:59,963
One of the qualities we hope for in
any Yale student is their passion.
828
01:08:00,244 --> 01:08:03,995
Your turn papers and test
results are exemplary.
829
01:08:04,213 --> 01:08:07,883
But your love and
knowledge of literature...
830
01:08:07,990 --> 01:08:09,816
is rare in a person of your years.
831
01:08:13,771 --> 01:08:15,536
Thank you, but it's an
important part of my life.
832
01:08:17,422 --> 01:08:19,459
Go on.
833
01:08:21,730 --> 01:08:25,177
Poetry, for instance -
834
01:08:26,339 --> 01:08:30,040
I like the way that it can
articulate and express feelings -
835
01:08:30,263 --> 01:08:34,304
complicated and difficult feelings
that you can't express literally.
836
01:08:42,807 --> 01:08:45,063
What about modern literature?
837
01:08:45,495 --> 01:08:50,687
Are there any contemporary writers
and poets that you particularly admire?
838
01:08:53,687 --> 01:08:56,282
No. Not really.
839
01:08:58,806 --> 01:09:00,723
Oh. Why is that?
840
01:09:02,219 --> 01:09:04,172
- Because they suck?
- Oh.
841
01:09:07,126 --> 01:09:10,264
Welcome everybody to Homecoming,
the biggest game of the year.
842
01:09:11,776 --> 01:09:13,543
Surely if poetry is
no longer relevant -
843
01:09:13,762 --> 01:09:18,108
poets and their art form
are doomed to extinction.
844
01:09:26,009 --> 01:09:29,283
I think that will be all.
845
01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:48,588
Actually, I do like some modern poets.
846
01:09:49,072 --> 01:09:51,364
In fact I love them.
847
01:09:53,826 --> 01:09:56,796
50 Cent, Pete Pablo, Marshal Mathers.
848
01:09:56,912 --> 01:09:58,260
I don't think I'm
familiar with their works.
849
01:09:58,364 --> 01:09:59,857
Well, they're rap artists.
850
01:09:59,980 --> 01:10:01,819
And you consider that to be poetry?
851
01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:04,675
Absolutely. It's urban poetry, sir.
852
01:10:04,901 --> 01:10:09,584
They talk about their lives and
experiences. They can be very brutal -
853
01:10:10,807 --> 01:10:14,351
but often under a coat of humour.
Dark humour. Here, check it out.
854
01:10:17,975 --> 01:10:20,894
Applauds for the home theme.
The Westdale Bay Beavers!
855
01:10:22,819 --> 01:10:24,160
That's my boy!
856
01:10:26,678 --> 01:10:28,206
Applauds for the
quarterback, Woody Deanne!
857
01:10:28,313 --> 01:10:28,717
Woody Deanne!
858
01:10:28,939 --> 01:10:31,534
That's my boy!
859
01:10:33,084 --> 01:10:34,576
Wait!
860
01:10:52,728 --> 01:10:54,596
Here we go!
861
01:11:00,162 --> 01:11:02,184
Number 83, Johnny Chancer.
862
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:23,216
Hey you, leave him alone or
I'll sock you around!
863
01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:42,331
Touchdown for The Razorbacks, folks!
864
01:12:07,331 --> 01:12:09,437
Touchdown for The Razorbacks.
865
01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:12,445
As they take the lead, 14-0,
early in the fourth quarter.
866
01:12:12,670 --> 01:12:17,402
There's still time folks, as Woody
Deanne takes the play.
867
01:12:35,286 --> 01:12:39,327
12th yard loss. This is
really unusual, folks.
868
01:12:41,346 --> 01:12:44,856
You just messed with the wrong girl.
869
01:12:49,257 --> 01:12:52,108
Hi Nell. I didn't know
football was your bag.
870
01:12:52,329 --> 01:12:54,096
I just came to cheer the team.
871
01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:56,122
We're not doing too good.
872
01:13:05,707 --> 01:13:10,051
That's my boy! He's my boy!
873
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,648
Touchdown for The
Beavers by Harry the Horse!
874
01:13:27,314 --> 01:13:30,980
- Sit your fat arse down!
- Point taken, my good woman.
875
01:13:32,417 --> 01:13:34,048
- Do you want some of the dog?
- Yeah, thanks.
876
01:13:37,962 --> 01:13:39,624
Thanks, dad.
877
01:13:55,137 --> 01:13:58,158
This is it, folks.
Only 5 seconds to go.
878
01:13:58,550 --> 01:14:02,506
Time for one more play. This is
make or break for The Beavers.
879
01:14:07,894 --> 01:14:09,253
Ready?
880
01:14:22,931 --> 01:14:24,072
That's it, girl!
881
01:14:35,541 --> 01:14:38,289
Touchdown!
882
01:14:38,503 --> 01:14:41,950
The Westdale Beavers wins
at the very last moment!
883
01:14:42,172 --> 01:14:45,367
It's a touchdown by Woody
Deanne and The Beavers wins!
884
01:15:00,843 --> 01:15:02,099
What are you waiting here for?
885
01:15:08,693 --> 01:15:10,138
Woody! You're the man!
886
01:15:12,283 --> 01:15:13,641
Thanks.
887
01:15:14,244 --> 01:15:16,502
- Great game, son.
- Thank you.
888
01:15:16,763 --> 01:15:19,159
- Decided for a college yet?
- I've had my heart set on Yale
889
01:15:20,265 --> 01:15:21,732
since I was a little girl.
890
01:15:21,839 --> 01:15:25,284
That's funny. You know what,
get your parents to give me a call.
891
01:15:25,805 --> 01:15:28,827
We're not Yale, but I think you
might like what we have to offer.
892
01:15:29,390 --> 01:15:32,375
- Thank you so much.
- No problem. Great game.
893
01:15:39,716 --> 01:15:43,162
- You did it! You were great!
- Thank you.
894
01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:46,451
Did you see me out there?
I totally kicked ass!
895
01:15:46,670 --> 01:15:49,607
And the guy back there, he
was a scout. He gave me his card.
896
01:15:50,594 --> 01:15:54,516
- You're going to college. No spatulas.
- I saw. Thank you!
897
01:15:56,057 --> 01:15:58,994
You know what the best part is?
I totally loved it!
898
01:15:59,725 --> 01:16:02,341
Your adrenaline gets pumping and
the crowd was totally into it.
899
01:16:06,148 --> 01:16:10,765
The interview? Oh my god,
I totally forgot it.
900
01:16:11,714 --> 01:16:12,733
How was it?
901
01:16:13,102 --> 01:16:15,105
It was amazing.
902
01:16:15,877 --> 01:16:16,878
I mean, the place was.
903
01:16:17,095 --> 01:16:21,135
For a moment I really
felt like part of it.
904
01:16:24,648 --> 01:16:26,480
I gave it my best shot.
905
01:16:28,145 --> 01:16:30,893
I'm sure you did.
906
01:16:31,407 --> 01:16:33,446
And that's all anyone can ask.
907
01:16:34,033 --> 01:16:36,444
And I tell you something.
They would be lucky -
908
01:16:37,873 --> 01:16:41,793
to have someone like you. Thank you.
909
01:16:43,463 --> 01:16:45,125
Dito.
910
01:16:46,918 --> 01:16:51,092
You know, if I have to spend
my life as someone else -
911
01:16:51,294 --> 01:16:54,296
I'd be honoured to be you.
912
01:16:56,902 --> 01:16:58,310
Dito back at you.
913
01:16:59,590 --> 01:17:02,053
Double double dito.
914
01:17:26,299 --> 01:17:27,828
Woody?
915
01:17:27,456 --> 01:17:32,374
- Hey guys, I'm back!
- What are you talking about, 'back'?
916
01:17:37,353 --> 01:17:42,577
Hey there, Mr. Football hero.
Am I attractive enough for you now?
917
01:18:03,741 --> 01:18:05,807
Please Mrs. Bedworth,
I need to speak to Nell.
918
01:18:05,913 --> 01:18:06,405
She doesn't wish to speak with you.
919
01:18:06,622 --> 01:18:07,850
I have to talk to her!
920
01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:10,202
She isn't going to the dance, Woody,
921
01:18:10,309 --> 01:18:12,012
but she did say she hopes
you have a good time -
922
01:18:12,492 --> 01:18:14,239
with Breanna Bailey.
923
01:18:17,268 --> 01:18:21,850
For just one moment, Woody,
I thought you had changed.
924
01:18:29,875 --> 01:18:32,916
Come on honey, why the sad face?
925
01:18:35,190 --> 01:18:37,937
You got everything we ever wanted.
926
01:18:55,836 --> 01:19:00,169
Dance Yourself to Death:
Life, Not Living
927
01:19:02,409 --> 01:19:05,024
Oh my god! Look at that dress!
928
01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,169
So, do you like my dress?
929
01:19:25,089 --> 01:19:29,620
- Yeah, you look nice, Breanna.
- It's so tight, it shows everything.
930
01:19:30,380 --> 01:19:32,504
I had to leave my panties off.
931
01:19:33,238 --> 01:19:34,732
Let's hope you don't
get diarrhoea then.
932
01:19:35,055 --> 01:19:37,263
I'm gonna get some punch.
933
01:19:43,818 --> 01:19:45,091
- Harry?
- Hm?
934
01:19:45,909 --> 01:19:47,269
Do you like my dress?
935
01:19:48,787 --> 01:19:50,230
Yeah baby, it looks good on you.
936
01:20:04,665 --> 01:20:06,609
I am so nervous?
937
01:20:06,715 --> 01:20:08,158
Are you kidding me?
You've got this in a bag.
938
01:20:08,784 --> 01:20:12,077
I Know. Check the make-up?
We won't be a minute.
939
01:20:12,300 --> 01:20:15,324
Woody, straighten your tie.
Photographers!
940
01:20:21,859 --> 01:20:25,184
You know, seeing you in that tuxedo
is making me feel kinda horny.
941
01:20:26,808 --> 01:20:29,217
- Let's do it in the bushes!
- Serious?
942
01:20:30,688 --> 01:20:32,711
Yeah, it'd be like
doing it with James Bond.
943
01:20:33,060 --> 01:20:38,999
You know me: 009/2. License to thrill!
944
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:45,618
Wait!
945
01:20:45,889 --> 01:20:50,694
You wait over there, then
I'll walk by like Halle Berry -
946
01:20:50,913 --> 01:20:54,546
and then you jump up and grab me.
- I'm loving it. Yeah!
947
948
01:21:10,929 --> 01:21:12,881
Ready when you are baby!
949
01:21:13,488 --> 01:21:14,526
Come and get me!
950
01:21:14,749 --> 01:21:21,497
Chanel?
Chanel?
951
01:21:23,812 --> 01:21:25,596
Goodbye, Mr. Bond.
952
01:21:31,536 --> 01:21:33,453
Halle Berry wouldn't have done that.
953
01:21:34,479 --> 01:21:37,974
Good evening, Westdale Bay!
954
01:21:38,618 --> 01:21:42,756
And the presentation of the
crowns of this year's...
955
01:21:51,399 --> 01:21:55,014
- Hi, princess.
- Hi daddy.
956
01:21:56,135 --> 01:22:01,306
- So you're not going to the dance?
- No
957
01:22:03,321 --> 01:22:08,104
- Does it have anything to do with Woody?
- No.
958
01:22:11,025 --> 01:22:12,467
Maybe.
959
01:22:14,567 --> 01:22:16,568
He likes someone else.
960
01:22:17,893 --> 01:22:20,102
But is she a princess?
961
01:22:22,204 --> 01:22:25,019
Anytime soon she'll be a queen.
962
01:22:25,318 --> 01:22:29,019
No contest. Princesses
are younger and prettier -
963
01:22:29,242 --> 01:22:31,452
especially when they're my daughter.
964
01:22:36,581 --> 01:22:38,621
You really like him, don't you?
965
01:22:41,853 --> 01:22:44,212
- Yes
- Me too.
966
01:22:45,414 --> 01:22:47,925
I think he's a good one.
967
01:22:48,698 --> 01:22:50,056
I think you should go.
968
01:22:59,620 --> 01:23:01,064
But I don't have anything to wear.
969
01:23:02,820 --> 01:23:05,029
Just a...
970
01:23:09,909 --> 01:23:13,243
There... Now, I'm not usually known
for my taste in fashion...
971
01:23:13,349 --> 01:23:15,593
but the young lady in the
store said it was 'dope'.
972
01:23:15,815 --> 01:23:17,939
I have no idea what
that means of course.
973
01:23:21,214 --> 01:23:23,962
It's beautiful.
974
01:23:26,950 --> 01:23:31,342
She said you need these too.
Apparently these are heavy.
975
01:23:32,265 --> 01:23:34,098
For all I know they
could be dope as well.
976
01:23:36,002 --> 01:23:37,493
Thank you!
977
01:23:39,177 --> 01:23:43,267
And the title of Westdale
Bay High Homecoming King -
978
01:23:43,657 --> 01:23:45,100
goes to -
979
01:23:45,686 --> 01:23:50,436
our very own footballing
hero, Woody Deanne!
980
01:24:08,914 --> 01:24:11,765
And now for the biggie -
981
01:24:11,986 --> 01:24:16,398
this year's Westdale
Bay Homecoming Queen is -
982
01:24:20,476 --> 01:24:21,394
Breanna Bailey.
983
01:24:33,514 --> 01:24:36,470
Thank you, Miss Bidermeyer.
Principal Johnson.
984
01:24:37,908 --> 01:24:39,371
And thank you, Westdale Bay!
985
01:24:40,809 --> 01:24:43,304
There are so many people that I
need to share this great honour with.
986
01:24:43,522 --> 01:24:46,667
My mother for undying support and...
987
01:24:46,773 --> 01:24:49,206
generous attitude
towards cosmetic surgery.
988
01:24:49,428 --> 01:24:51,600
My hair dresser, Georgio Theodopolous -
my...
989
01:24:51,817 --> 01:24:53,817
Thank you, Breanna.
Another round of...
990
01:24:53,924 --> 01:24:57,297
applauds please for
Homecoming King and Queen!
991
01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:06,632
Ozzy Osbourne:
Goodbye to Romance
992
01:25:56,759 --> 01:25:59,926
Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
993
01:26:00,032 --> 01:26:02,729
Thou art more lovely and temperate.
994
01:26:04,268 --> 01:26:11,207
Rough winds bla bla bla something. Can't
remember. Yada yada yada.
995
01:26:14,845 --> 01:26:16,373
- I'm sorry
996
01:26:16,599 --> 01:26:17,723
I'm no Shakespeare -
997
01:26:19,245 --> 01:26:21,312
my guess Romeo wasn't much
of a quarterback, either, right?
998
01:26:22,596 --> 01:26:25,712
I really wish I had
the most perfect and...
999
01:26:25,819 --> 01:26:26,987
beautiful words in the
world to say to you -
1000
01:26:27,203 --> 01:26:30,599
cause if I did I'd say them but...
1001
01:26:30,705 --> 01:26:33,258
I'd tell how great you make
me feel when I'm with you.
1002
01:26:34,200 --> 01:26:38,592
And how I love that little thing you
do with your nose when you smile.
1003
01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:42,944
How you always correct my
stupid grammar. I hate it.
1004
01:26:43,886 --> 01:26:45,414
But most of all -
1005
01:26:46,318 --> 01:26:50,985
I'd tell you that... you
make me a better person.
1006
01:26:54,020 --> 01:26:55,683
My own person.
1007
01:26:57,563 --> 01:27:00,973
And that's why I know
that this means nothing.
1008
01:27:05,815 --> 01:27:07,666
And you mean everything.
1009
01:27:09,745 --> 01:27:13,869
But hey, I'm just a stupid quarterback.
1010
01:27:14,244 --> 01:27:16,112
I don't know the right words.
1011
01:27:17,871 --> 01:27:19,298
Those were lovely words.
1012
01:27:20,497 --> 01:27:22,622
Perfect words.
1013
01:27:23,227 --> 01:27:25,180
Come here, dumb jock.
1014
01:27:25,660 --> 01:27:27,832
Don't try to stop me, pencil neck.
1015
01:27:31,506 --> 01:27:32,998
Stop that!
1016
01:27:34,938 --> 01:27:36,892
I'm the Homecoming Queen.
1017
01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:39,160
Let's get out of here.
1018
01:27:40,636 --> 01:27:45,337
- I'm the Homecoming Queen.
- And you're a bitch!
1019
01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:49,835
Nice ass, baby! How
about a little swirl?
1020
01:27:51,231 --> 01:27:58,563
1021
01:28:12,271 --> 01:28:15,547
Did I miss this? Did Woody Deanne win?
1022
01:28:22,784 --> 01:28:25,210
Sweet lord!
It's the second coming.
1023
01:28:42,239 --> 01:28:45,107
- So, how are we gonna do this?
- What?
1024
01:28:45,841 --> 01:28:49,210
You're going to your chicken
shit college and me going to Yale.
1025
01:28:53,924 --> 01:28:57,157
You did it. It came this morning.
Congratulations!
1026
01:28:57,427 --> 01:28:59,514
What? You got in?
1027
01:29:00,055 --> 01:29:02,631
Oh my god, I did it!
1028
01:29:03,847 --> 01:29:05,124
Me and you done pretty good, huh?
1029
01:29:07,113 --> 01:29:09,132
You and me.
1030
01:29:09,247 --> 01:29:10,689
Or -
1031
01:29:11,038 --> 01:29:12,263
I?
1032
01:29:12,488 --> 01:29:17,086
Will you just kiss me already?
Yes, mam.
1033
01:29:19,732 --> 01:29:24,600
James Blunt High
1034
01:29:52,630 --> 01:29:57,963
Woody can I ask you something?
- Sure. - What happened to my bush?
1035
01:30:00,317 --> 01:30:03,187
You can not be serious? A year of
sabbatical? We're talking about Yale -
1036
01:30:03,411 --> 01:30:06,009
for heavens sake, Yale!
1037
01:30:07,977 --> 01:30:09,878
I know mum. But what the fuck?
1038
01:30:45,823 --> 01:30:47,369
If I may quote Snoop Dog:
1039
01:30:50,131 --> 01:30:51,877
Let's get it started!
1040
01:30:52,562 --> 01:30:56,296
Black Eyed Peas:
Let's Get It Started
1041
01:30:56,586 --> 01:30:57,570
Dope, huh?
1042
01:30:57,877 --> 01:30:59,962
See what I'm saying?
1043
01:31:00,181 --> 01:31:03,948
Actually, I'm not sure
if this is Snoop -
1044
01:31:04,167 --> 01:31:07,021
it could be One Eyed Peas or 38 Cents.
1045
01:31:09,354 --> 01:31:11,561
I'm down with it anyway, bitch.
78483
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