Original subtitles

Previously, on drawn together...

You best stay out of my way, bitch,

Or you gonna be dead.

I want foxxy love gone!

Would you just put it in me already?

Clara, your mother's dead!

Did I tell you to stop lickin'?

Nobody likes fat chicks.

You'll feel better after you kill yourself.

Aah! [sobs]

I wish I were dead.

Drop your weapon!

No, you drop it!

I'm not afraid to die!

Kill them!

It all...Ends...

Now!

Hold on, everyone!

We're hit! We're hit!

[screaming]

Captain hero: with my superpowers,

I could easily have saved my housemates.

But I couldn't react. Why?

Because I smoke marijuana.

Still think drugs are cool?

[screaming]

[alarm beeps]

Aah!

So here we was, plummetin' to our death

When--aah!

Toot! No!!

I-it's not worth it!

I have to try!

Aah! Goddamn it!

Well, this,

Like xandir in a roomful of fat chinamen,

Blows chunks!

Nice! Nice!

Oh, ling-ling, there you at.

You asians sho' do love the brown sauce.

[speaking japanese]

Whee! That was fun!

Did everybody make it?

Let's see... Little retard, swine,

Rat, big retard, xandir, blackiboo...

Hey, where's fatty-fatty two-by-four,

Can't-fit-through the-kitchen-door?

Help! Help!

Anyone!

[whimpers]

Oh!

Aah!

[jaws type music plays]

[swallows]

Look, everyone. It's that asshole jeff probst!

Survivors, immunity is up for grabs.

Sweet! I know how to play this!

I lost my immunity in a bathhouse.

This island is home to the wanatuba tribe.

These indigenous people have survived here for centuries.

So your next challenge is...

[unzips] my cock.

[chanting]

Hold up!

We don't need to be humiliated and exploited like this anymo'.

But--

But nothin'!

We have done an entire season of this reality tv crap.

We big stars now.

Fame and fortune awaits us, y'all!

- I wanna be famous! - I wanna be a big star!

I wanna be even bigger than that douche bag jeff probst.

And I have just the plan

To get us off of this deserted reality tv island.

Follow me!

Jeff: wait!

Where are you going?

You'll be back.

They all come back!

Foxxy: later, reality tv!

Wait...Guys!

Guys!

Send fudge!

Xandir: after we left the show,

We all went straight to hollywood

To cash in on our much-deserved reality tv fame.

But what we got was a different dose of reality.

Hi! I'm xan--

We learned the sad truth.

There was nothing waiting for us reality tv stars.

[whispers] nothing.

So we all just went home as if we knew where that was anymore.

¶ you dreamed of a-list parties ¶

¶ a talk show on late night ¶

¶ but those dreams burnt up ¶

¶ like a concert with great white ¶

[ singing in japanese ]

¶ it's a huge shit sangwich ¶

¶ and you have to take a bite ¶

¶ it's a huge ¶

¶ shit ¶

¶ sandwich ¶

¶ and you have to take a...

¶ big ol' steamin' bite ¶

¶ of the shit sandwich ¶

We should have never left the drawn together house.

I realized I would never survive on the outside.

Hey! Writing a suicide note?

I can help!

Please go away.

Here's a tip: avoid clichés like "good-bye, cruel world,"

And remember to blame your parents.

[creak, creak]

[gags]

Hey--oh!

You don't look so good.

Uh...Oh.

Y-you--eh--

Oh, wooldoor, dude...

[sobbing]

Foxxy: wooldoor's death brought us all together.

This was the first funeral I had been to in a long time

That did not take place in my womb.

You know, I... Just don't feel so bad for him.

He's the lucky one.

Wooldoor's death was a real wakeup call.

Life without the cameras wasn't worth livin'.

We all agreed there was only one place we belong anymo'.

Well, well, well.

Look who came crawling back.

Do you know what it's gonna take to

Rebuild this house you destroyed ?

Where are the others?

Wooldoor is dead!

Pity. And what about that disgusting black- and-white whale?

The disgusting black-and-white whale has beached itself.

It need our help.

Ah, goddamn it! I'm not a fucking whale!

I'm only slightly overweight, for christ's sakes !

You want several buckets of fish, my sweet, fat, beached whale?

Ahh...

Ahh...

Whoa! I have not seen that much fish eating

Since lilith fair come to island!

[rimshot]

We want back in the house,

Mr. Jew producer!

Hmm. I'll tell you what.

I'll let you back into the house

If you play a little game of simon says.

[all gasp]

[manly voice] let's do it.

Simon says touch your nose.

Ok. Simon says...

[zipper]

He's got a nice, thick cock, doesn't he?

Foxy, you said we didn't have to be humiliated anymore.

Do we really have to do this?

We wants to be back on tv, don't we ?

Well then, I'm afraid we does.

I'm afraid we does.

Oh yea. Simon is a filthy dirty bitch.

A filthy bitch with a beautiful cock.

Simon says stare directly at his cock.

I kid you not.

He degraded us for 3 1/2 hours.

And he went on about its size...

Simon says it's biblical in scale!

It's beauty...

Simon says it's like a swan, covered in sweat and veins.

Its musical ability...

[playing chopsticks]

Until finally...

Ah...Ah...Ah...

[bullet ricochet sound]

[meow]

[zips] now that simon is finished,

You can move back into the house.

Whoo! Yay!

But you need to find one new roommate.

[all gasp]

Xandir: we soon realized that it wouldn't be easy replacing

Our dear, close friends-- dead guy and missing girl.

I was hoping to find a new roommate

Who shared my deep christian faith.

Or a beaner.

So after you left mex--

I like to keep moving, keep it real. What's up?

I am the most powerful mouse in the world!

Hey, did I ever tell you my movie idea?

You ain't gonna steal it, are you?

I'll cut you! Why are you all looking at me?

Ooh, I like the black one.

I can do anyth--

Oh, my!

Can I use your bathroom again?

Wilma, tell us about you, girl.

I'm the kind of person who uses an armadillo for an iron,

A pterodactyl for a record player,

And a prehistoric worm for a tampon.

It's a living.

Oh, my god!

You're from mortal kombat ?

I'm from a video game, too!

Tell me, what's your special move?

Get over here!

[frenzied electronic beeping]

Impressive.

My special move is the reach-around.

Oy vey.

So after we interviewed these two claymated guys

And this finger puppet and this monty python cut-out thing,

We were down to our last--

[pffft]

Hee hee hee.

I brought you all cake and candy

From the land of the peppermint wainbow.

I love new fwiends.

She's so sweet!

Oh, can we keep her?

You're kidding me, right?

How old are you, strawberry sweetcake? 8?

More like 18, silly willy.

I just taste 8.

She's so legal.

Can we keep her?

Well...Ok.

Whoo! Whoo hoo!

Producer: mazel tov housemates ! Welcome to season 2.

Guys, can we, like, talk about how great our new roommate is ?

She's, like, so great!

To sweetcake... For making us realize

That we're all replaceable.

And to the teeniest ass you can tap

Without setting off an amber alert.

Salute!

Hey, everybody.

What'd I miss?

Ohh! Ohh! [gasp]

Oh, my god!

Wooldoor? We thought you were dead!

So did the people who buried me.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

I was just taking my afternoon noose nap

When I woke up buried 6 feet deep

In a pine box.

Luckily, I remembered my martial arts training from kill bill vloume 2.

I punched my way through the casket...

And I began to dig...

And dug...

And dig and dug and dig and dug!

[game electronic beeps]

Oh, I can see that.

That doesn't need any further explanation.

Oh, wooldoor, I'm so glad you're back!

Oh, you wanna meet your new roommate?

I love new roommates.

It's sugariffic to meet--

No fucking way!

She's the devil!

She massacred my family!

Yaaahh!

[shouting indistinctly]

[continues shouting]

[sobbing]

Get ahold of yourself, wooldoor.

Ow!

Don't you hit him! Ow!

Oh, yeah! Punchy party!

Oh!

Of course wooldoor's a little freaked out!

Ain't you heard? Them sweetcakes was responsible

For the genocide of the sockbats.

Puh-lease. The sockbat genocide

Is nothing but a terrible lie

Perpetrated by the evil sockbat banking conspiracy.

Ow!

It all began

Many moons ago.

The sockbats lived peacefully with the sweetcakes.

But the great strawberry famine

Brought a depression that swept the land.

Lookin' for somebody to blame,

The sweetcakes turned on the innocent, treat-lovin' sockbats.

Soon, they was tagged so they could keep

A watchful eye on them little bastards.

The evil strawberry sweetcake regime

Schemed to rid themselves

Of them wacky whatchamacallits forever, chil'.

And soon, the sockbats was fooled

Into manual labor at the sweetcake candy factories.

In the cruelest of ironic twists,

The sockbats became the secret ingredient

In the one thing they loved most.

Over 8 cramazijillion sockbats

Was made into sugary, sweet, tasty treats.

In sockbat Sunday school,

We're taught to never forget.

Never... Forget.

Strawberry sweetcake: my bad.

[giggles]

Aww... She's so cute!

I can't stay mad at sweetcake.

Never forget!

[moaning]

What should we do? The ocean is bare!

I don't want my new friends to think I'm ungrateful,

But when people promise to keep toot well fed,

They god damn better keep toot well fed !

Hey, what part of [moaning]

Do you not understand?!

The annoying whale is still hungry!

We must appease it with a sacrifice--

A virgin sacrifice.

Go on, seth.

Dude! I told you about that girl from the teen tour.

Take me... Fir am virgin.

Hula-kamea!

Lai-lee, no!

You mustn't!

Aah!

Oh, my god!

It is unstoppable!

I want sweetcake out of the house... Now!

Wahh, wahh, wahh!

"she slaughtered my family!"

The real crime here is that nobody's banged her yet.

Am I right?

I'm not gay.

Wooldoor...

I may have massacred your people,

But, gosh, golly gee, that's in the past.

Now's the time to move on and live together

In the land of honey drops, laughter, and love.

I mean, after all,

You can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"!

So true. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Wooldoor, I don't expect you to ever forgive us

For what we've done,

But I do think you can forget.

Can't you?

Foxxy, you're the only one in the house

Who isn't completely retarded.

What do you think?

Forgettin' the lessons of history

Insures that these atrocities

Will happen again.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on this negligee

And bring papa his whiskey.

But forgetting will earn you

A deewicious nougat candy bar.

Nougat!

Yippee!

Now we can all be one big happy family.

[laughter and indistinct chatter]

¶ sunshine and a good time fun-derful day ¶

¶ when we're together it's a happy time... ¶

[click]

[bang]

¶ when we're together we're free to be ¶

¶ in ecstasy 'cuz we're havin' such a good time.¶

[moaning]

We are completely out of virgins!

Then we must sacrifice something else...

Like our sluts.

Absolutely not!

I gave that beast my daughter.

I will not give it

My wife.

That's right, honey. I know. I've always known.

What do you expect? You don't touch me anymore.

Stop it! Stop it!

Don't you see?

That exactly what beach whale want...

To drive us apart!

Don't give that son of a bitch

The satisfaction.

The beast must go!

Sweetcake and I started spending a lot of time together.

She's so sweet.

Wooldoor,

I brought you a pwesent.

But you already bought me these super-nice p.J.S.

And now I brought you a fwiendship earring.

You wear it all the time.

Whoa! That's the nicest thing anyone--

I said at all times!

[thud]

Wheeeee!

Now let's go make some dessert.

March, March, March, March!

Girls,

Foxxy love is gettin' a bad feelin'

About ms. Sweetcake.

Oh, foxxy, you are such a pessimist.

You always see the bottle as 20 ounces empty!

She is taggin' him and makin' him wear those ridiculous pajamas.

Hell, I even heard

She's performin' unnecessary abortions on him!

Uh...Unnecessary?

[dramatic music builds]

That was one crazy yom kippur.

Foxxy: sho' 'nuff, everybody else

Had done lost their minds.

But not the foxxy.

She knew sweetcake was up to no good.

Foxxy got a sixth sense for this kind of thing

And 6 cents for a handy in the back alley.

[rimshot]

[gasps] oh, no!

Strawberry sweetcake's gonna...Oh!

[dramatic music plays]

Now, let's finish making those tasty tweats.

Why don't you and all those delicious ingredients

Hop into the fwiendship machine.

[dramatic music punctuation]

This all seems vaguely familiar.

Oh, well. Wheeee!

This hawaiian vacation turned out to be

Exactly what I needed

To feel good about myself again.

O beast, you have taken our food.

You have taken our virgins!

But we will never let you take

Our freedom!

Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Hmm?

[dramatic music plays]

[grunting]

[rip]

Unhh! Unhh!

Unhh!

[grunting]

Yaaahh...Ooh.

[chuckling] mmm. Ooh.

Uh-oh.

Ohhh...

[chuckles]

Foxxy!

Who has done this to you?

I'd better take a picture of the crime scene.

Here's a clue. And another clue.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the hero cave...

Rubbing out a solution.

Where's wooldoor and sweetcake?

Wooldoor: wheeeee!

Oh! Foxxy love? What are you doing here?

You think you the first barely legal chick

To tie me up and try to eat my friend

Right in front of me?

What you talkin' about, foxxy?

Sweetcake here is tryin' to kill our good friend wooldoor.

She is? No way. Say it ain't so!

Little ol' me?

I have nothing against sockbats.

I'm just pro-sweetcake.

Interesting. Pro-sockbat.

It's much better to be pro something

Than con something else.

Then how does you explain this?

[all gasp]

[suspenseful dramatic music]

Daddy?

[dramatic music]

Mommy?

Auntie?

[dramatic music]

Soiled underwear...Y?

[dramatic music]

Aw...Snap!

¶ ling-ling into battle goes ¶

¶ fulfill the destiny... ¶

[thud thud]

[song continues, indistinct]

Yeee-aaaah!

Ahhh...

Ohhhhhhh...

Damn you all!

I almost finished what my ancestors started.

And I would've gotten away with it, too,

If it wasn't for that meddling shvoogie.

Looks like you'll be spending

A choco-lotta time behind candy bars!

Goddammit, I hate you.

Aha! Ohh! Ohh!

Now, hand over that hook-nosed sockbat,

Or I'll fucking kill you all!

Good-bye, frightful beast.

See you in hellllll!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[screaming]

[panicked screaming]

[clang] [thud]

Toot: aaaahhhh!

Aiee!

Ooh! Candy!

[gulps] oh.

Hey, toot. I didn't know you were back.

Who brought candy? Can we have some? Please?

Yeah, go ahead.

[excited chatter] maybe you should put this back on.

Www...Ow!

Wooldoor: as my housemates ate

What was left of my family,

I realized it was important to never forget.

Mmm.

Oh, my god!

Is this an eyeball?! Ohh!

Oh, yeah. These are made

With the flesh and bones of my slaughtered family.

I almost forgot again.

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

[laughter]

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Foxxy: dumb-ass!

Announcer: this year...

On drawn together...

[dramatic indistinct choral singing]

No-o-o-o-o-o!

Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--