All language subtitles for Think.Like.A.Man.Too.2014.720p.BluRay.x264-BLOW

♪♪

♪ They call you lady luck

♪ But there is room for doubt

♪ At times you have
a very un-lady-like way

♪ Of running out

♪ Luck be a lady tonight

♪ Luck be a lady... r

CEDRIC: Las Vegas.

For 100 years,
people have flocked

To get a taste of
its forbidden fruit.

In the 1930s and '40s, it
was the Mafia and gambling.

In the late '50s, America's
first topless showgirls

appeared at the Dunes Casino.

And in the '60s, it was all
about Frank and the Rat Pack.

♪♪

But today, damn!

Vegas has become
Disneyland for adults.

And let me tell you something.

What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas.

See, in this town, you don't
know if it's day or night.

And guess what?
You don't care,

because you're in Vegas, baby!

From the casinos to the clubs,

the pools and the strip bars,

It's the best place in the world

for men and women
to get their freak on.

Okay, just be careful because
it's a wedding dress.

Why are you stressing?
It's beautiful.

CEDRIC: Unless, of course,
they go together as couples.

Zeke?

Zeke the Freak!
(LAUGHS)

It's me, Marty.
Remember?

(SINGSONG) Marty
the One Man Party!

What up, yo?
What up, man?

Oh, man, wait till I tell

Luis the Freak is back in town!

Hey, two of my wildest
nights ever

was with Z to the F.

I can only imagine.

Oh, baby, you don't even got to imagine.
We got this on video.

She don't wanna see that.

She ain't about that life? No.

That's sweet.
Hey, this man is a god.

A legend with the ladies.

We used to get him drunk
just to get his leftovers.

I was young, I used to come
by here once in a while.

Sounds like you came here a lot.

Hey, you remember Marco's
big blow-out bash last year?

That was a few years ago.

Them strippers
was off the chain.

Marty, this is my woman, Mya.

Oh. Oh.
Nice to meet you.

No! Wait!

Oh! You took him
down? (LAUGHING)

Lower the flag, baby!
Retire the rubbers.

Zeke the Freak
is getting married!

No! No, dude,
God, no.

We just here for
a friend's wedding.

Mya just made the dresses.

Designed.
Designed the dresses.

Well, I'm just saying, if
you can get away later on,

Luis is having an after-party
at the Chicken Ranch...

I'm right here!

Oh. Well, this how
we do, baby!

Let me just get with you later.

All right.
Get your girl in check,

she gonna make me look bad

out here in the street, man.

(CHUCKLING)

Wait till I tell Luis the
Freak is back in town!

I don't know that dude, really.
Mmm.

I met him one time.
He drives and cuts hair.

Mmm-mmm.

MYA: Hell, no. MARTY: Zeke the
Freak is back in town, baby!

CEDRIC: Now, my opinion?

The only thing worse than
going to Vegas as a couple

is going as man and wife.

BENNETT: Babe,
you see the car?

Look at these hookers.

Tish, honey,
those are not hookers.

They're just girls
having fun in Vegas.

It's really not a big deal.

They probably got
no dad in their life,

low self-esteem.
It's very sad, actually.

By the way, Bennett,
that fanny-pack

really screams
"Vegas Weekend."

Yeah, Tish got it for me.

It's safer keep your money
in the front in Vegas.

Plus, she gave me a bonus.

JEREMY: Bet she did.

And I can get to
the money if I need to.

(BENNETT LAUGHING)
It's right in the front.

I can't wait to get to the room.

All right.

Okay, good, there's
gonna be like an hour

between check-in
and separation.

For what? Oh, we're trying
to have a baby, ASAP.

I waited nine years to get
married, so we're, you know.

Oh, congratulations!

I'm so happy for you!

I hope for your sake it's a boy.
Why?

Well, you know,
when you have a boy,

you just worry about his wiener.

When you have a girl,
you have to worry about

all the wieners coming at her.

Smacking her around.
You remember how it is.

Ah, the romance and
magic of scheduled sex.

Girl's not gonna wait forever.

Yeah, no, I get it.

She doesn't want
to be the "old" mom.

I can't believe it, man! You as a father.
(CHUCKLES)

I know, right?

I can't believe it either.

She's like a drill
sergeant, on a schedule!

It's like there's a shot clock,

constantly winding down to one,

and I gotta hit the last shot.

Last week, I thought
I sprained it.

You know, the worst part about
it is I had to stop smoking pot.

No! You? Pot.
Yeah. Me.

It's like saying goodbye
to an old friend. Why?

Because I can only deal with one
stoned child at a time, that's why.

She heard us.

She hears everything.

♪ Gimme your love

♪ Don't stop

♪ Baby, keep it coming I

CEDRIC: Fortunately,
some couples know exactly

how to embrace
the true spirit of Vegas.

Okay, all right.

So they hadn't seen
each other for 10 days

because of Lauren's
business trip.

Now you know what they say.

Absence does make the heart
and other organs grow fonder.

Despite its reputation
as Sin City,

Vegas is still the number one
destination in the country

for couples to do the craziest thing
of all, get married. Dummies.

It is the perfect setting.

Everything is perfect.

You know, this kind
of looks like...

Ancient Rome, like Spartacus.

Excuse me, when have
you seen Spartacus?

At Grandma's, when she falls
asleep during Grey's Anatomy.

I do not fall asleep
when I'm babysitting you!

So, Candace, the bride
will enter from here,

and right there is where...

We get married.

So, remember, you must
be here on time

so we can begin
your ceremony promptly.

We cannot hold up the
next wedding party. Yes.

(GASPS) Perfect timing!

Your wedding programs
just arrived.

Oh, I've got that.

It was so sweet of
your mom to splurge

on French linen paper.

Candace, you are
the only daughter

she's ever gonna have.

And I think this whole process

has really been healing for her.

Especially after the passing

of Deacon Johnson.

Aunt Winnie said he died
in bed with Miss Loretta.

But at least he had
a happy ending.

ANDREA: There you go.

Thank you.

(YELLS)

What?
What?

"Michael and Tandis"?

Seriously?

No, no, no!

Oh, baby. They probably
misheard her.

Do not have a mama's boy relapse

on our wedding weekend.

No. Baby, I'm gonna give you the
perfect wedding. All right?

Nothing's gonna go wrong.

♪♪

CEDRIC: I arrived the only way a sane
person should for a weekend in Vegas.

I'm talking about solo, people!

After Gail pissed on
my iPad for no reason...

(CELL PHONE RINGING) ...our
marriage counselor suggested that

we have a trial separation
for one month.

Which meant I was free to do whatever
I wanted, starting right now.

How you doin'? Doing very
well, sir, thank you.

Name is Ward.

Cedric Ward.
I'm staying in the, uh...

Constantine Villa. Welcome, Mr. Ward.
We've been expecting you.

Your dedicated concierge
is awaiting you inside.

Listen, I'm gonna need you to
dedicate yourself to something.

See this car right here?
It's a rental.

And I passed on the insurance

'cause they wanted me
to pay the extra five.

I'm not talking about dollars,

I'm talking about hundred.

So I need you to
watch this car like

your life depended on it.
Can you do that for me?

♪♪

♪ Are you ready?
Come on

♪ Are you ready? I

Welcome to Caesar's Palace, Mr.
Ward.

Well, hello!
(GIGGLES)

Mmm.

Mmm.

Whoo!

Hello.
Hi.

(LAUGHS)

This is what I'm talkin' about!

Welcome to Caesar's Palace, Mr.
Ward.

I'm Vanessa, here to accommodate

your every need during
your stay with us.

Well, I got a lotta needs, so
let's get to accommodatin'.

(CHUCKLES)
I understand you're part

of the Hanover-Hall
wedding party.

You're looking at the best man.
Oh.

I'ma hook it up.

In my opinion,
the Constantine Villa

is the most elegant suite
in the entire hotel.

Were they able to put the
stripper pole in the room?

I'm doing a little after-party
at the bachelor party,

like an after-after-party?

Unfortunately not.
Damn it.

But your personal butler Declan can
take care of your other needs.

My personal butler?
I didn't pay for no butler.

It's on the house.

Well, I like
this house! (LAUGHS)

We aim to please.
Well, you have succeeded!

Just sign here for your
balance and incidentals.

I'll take you upstairs for a
personal tour of your villa.

Private tour? Wow. Okay. This
is pretty standard, right?

You should read it. Nah,
it'll say the same stuff.

Been to one hotel,
been to them all.

Thank you.
Thank you.

I'm waiting on you.

Oh, Vanessa!

Cedric! What up, man?

Zeeky! What's up?

Wait a minute. Whoa.
Hey, Mya.

Hold on, hold on.
Let me get this right.

Gail let you leave the house

and come to Vegas by yourself?

Don't you start with me, Zeke.

You lyin', I know she here.
Gail, where you at?

Zeke, look at me right now.

You look amazing.
It looks good, right?

It's H&M.
Men's line.

Hey. I want to introduce you
to my new friend, Vanessa.

Zeke the Freak?

Vanessa...

You son of a bitch!

ALL: Oh!

What the hell?
What are you doing?

Where's my passport?

I don't have your damn passport!

Why did you do that?

Zeke, I thought
she was gonna drink it.

Excuse me, excuse me!

Miss Martinez, I am
shocked and appalled.

In my office, immediately.

Man, chill out.

Watch your back.

Thank you, Zeke. 'Cause
I had that in the bag.

That was about to get booked.

She was supposed
to give me a tour, sir.

I will give you your personalized,
private tour of the villa.

Well, I don't wanna be rude,

but you can keep that shit.

I want Vanessa,
I don't need your tour.

Sir, look at my face. I'm in the
Constantine. The Constantine...

Constantine.
Constantine.

I can't talk to you right now.

Are you okay? Your baggage is
gonna catch up to you, man.

Mya, are you all right?

You gotta be strong.
I get it.

Did she go this way?
Vanessa!

Cedric!

Hey!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

See you later.
All right.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you, nice to meet you.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

ALL: Whoa!

CEDRIC: The whole crew
was back together.

Without even realizing it,

the men and the women had divided
themselves into opposing teams.

Look! We both got
on green shirts

and we both got blue eyes!

CEDRIC: It was a sign
of things to come.

Let's go get a drink, man.
Please.

You can really clear
a room out, Bennett.

Tell me, what are
we doing tonight?

No, no, no!

I want to go see Jersey Boys.

We're not going to see no
damn Jersey Boys, Bennett.

Why not? What do you
mean, "Why not?"

Because we're men. We're at
a bachelor party in Vegas.

We're here to make bad decisions

and regret them the next day.

Story of your life, right, Zeke?

I say we take a vote.

Bennett, we're not
taking no vote.

Okay, you know what?
I wanna talk to everybody.

Before we all start
power-trippin', okay?

Understand that Michael
had the opportunity

to choose anybody standing
here to be his best man.

I want you all to remember
that he chose me.

You know why? 'Cause I'm
the best man with a plan.

I didn't want to drop
that ball on y'all,

but y'all didn't
leave me a choice.

Now I'm the bad guy.

So, I've been giving
this a lot of thought.

I want you to be my best man.

Me?

No, Ced, actually,
I was talking to Do...

No, listen, don't say
nothin' right now, man.

Like, I knew you and I
had a connection,

but this is crazy!

Let me tell you something,
this means so much to me.

I'm not gonna let you down.

Let me tell you something,
I'm gonna be the best best man

in the history of all best men.

I've always wanted
to be a best man,

and you want to give me
that opportunity?

We came here to golf,

and now you gonna
give me this blessing?

I gotta go to the bathroom, Dom!

♪ This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine ♪

You made the right choice.

All right, couples, listen up!

Come on, put a little
pep in your step.

Listen up, people.
You got exactly one hour

to go settle into your room
and say your goodbyes!

'Cause for the next 24 hours, the
boys are gonna be with the boys...

And the girls with the girls.

Tomorrow, you can all go back to

that miserable and sexless
existence that is marriage.

No offense, Mike. You don't
gotta worry about us.

We gonna be happy and sexy.

(CELL PHONE RINGING) Well, you
better treasure that. Okay.

What? Gail?
No! Not now.

Let me tell you something, Mike.

Truth is, Gail and I were both
happy and sexy for 22 years.

See? There you go.

Then we met
each other. (WHISTLES)

(CLICKS TONGUE) That ship sailed.
Like the Titanic...

Come on, baby,
we only got an hour.

Before you all go, listen to me.

Real quick, guys.
(WHISPERS) So weird.

Let's discuss meeting points.

The teams were chosen,
the players were ready,

and it was time for
the pre-game warm-up.

Everybody else to their room.
I don't know where mine is.

In basketball, you have to know

what kinda offense you runnin'.

But no matter what it is, the
goal is to outscore your opponent

The Constantine Villa, all
12,000 square feet of it.

The ultimate bachelor party pad.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah. I had
definitely scored first.

Your key, sir.
Oh, right, right.

If there's anything
else you need,

your personal butler Declan
is here to serve you.

CEDRIC: Okay.

Well, thank you, Marcel Heffer.

Haffer.

(ENUNCIATING) Haffer.

"Marcel" will work
just fine, thank you.

I'll call you Marc.
Thank you.

(CHUCKLES) Declan!

Morning, sir. I trust everything
is up to your standards, sir.

Now, I understand that
you made an inquiry

about making some structural
changes to your suite, Mr. Ward.

Oh, you got the poles!

Yes!

A certain member of a
certain royal family

left more behind
than just memories.

(LAUGHS) on.

Yes, you can almost smell the
aristocratic DNA from here. (SNIFFS)

I don't know what that means.

It doesn't matter.

Now, I shall be next door.

So if you need anything, just
press number one on your keypad.

Right.

Hey, hey, hey.
Let me tip you, man.

No, sir, I couldn't...
Please, stop.

People don't think
black people tip.

I do this for
the love of the job...

Well, thank you very much,
sir, that would be lovely.

I wasn't gonna
give it all to you.

I'll give you
a certain amount, sir...

Thank you, sir.

No, thank you!

No, the 10%...
Okay, you're welcome.

You gone?

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪♪

Oh, shit!

♪♪

What's that?

Oh, that's a big-ass table!

♪♪

Oh!

(TOILET FLUSHES) Phew!

The race was on.

No matter what Lauren had planned
for the bachelorette party,

it didn't matter, 'cause
she was already behind.

Declan, can you get
that smell out of here?

Babe, we got a really
great view of the Strip.

Come on, we don't
have much time.

Let's go.
Oh! All right.

(MOANS)

Hang on, let me get these...

I want three good shots
before we go out tonight.

Three?
Yeah. Yeah.

My belt is stuck. Help me. Your
hands are cold. (CHUCKLES)

(UNZIPS)

Wow. (SIGHS) Yeah, no, no.

That's never happened before.

Yeah, I just need a minute.
Gotta reload.

Is it me?

No, no.
I just need a second.

You know what we need?
What?

Role play.

Role play?
Yeah.

Okay-

What, you brought stuff?
Yeah, I came prepared, babe.

What's this?

This is Game of Thrones.

Yeah?
Yeah.

I am Daenerys,

the virgin princess of dragon blood.
(CHUCKLES)

And you, you are Khal Drogo,

my fierce nomadic king.

Take me, you barbarian!
Take me!

Babe, babe, babe. I just
need a second, okay?

Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure. Uh...

(EXHALES) I need to get stoned.

Don't tell me you brought
pot through the airport.

Not pot.

Pot strips.

Breath strips as far as airport
security is concerned.

Kills germs that
cause bad breath

and is the equivalent
of three great bong hits.

It's a great product. Jeremy,
we talked about this.

We're in Vegas, Kris,

for a party weekend.

You remember what it's like to
chill out and have fun, right?

You don't think I'm fun?

You're like Louis Gossett, Jr.
In An Officer And A Gentleman.

I'm sorry,
I didn't wanna say it.

Please. This is fun.

It's Wild!

Come On. (STUTTERING)

For your information,
me and the girls

are gonna get
our freak on tonight.

With Lauren in charge.

What, is she gonna
enroll you in a 401 K?

You know what?

Daenerys, you actually
need that more than I do.

CEDRIC: Now, by being the
groom, Michael figured that

it couldn't be any easier
than an uncontested lay-up.

Do you hear that?

What?

Silence.

I think we're finally alone.

(CHUCKLES)

Imagine that.

(GASPS) Oh, whoa.

Michael, careful.

I can't believe how
much of a klutz I am.

Come here. Let me help you take this off.
I have to. You're wet.

We have not had sex in 90 days.

So tomorrow night
can be special.

No, I am not caving now.

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe I am caving a little.

Ma!
(CAN DACE GASPS)

Oh, my goodness, Loretta!

Sorry, sorry. Didn't
know you were here.

Of course she's here.

Your Uncle Tony
sends his regrets.

(WHISPERING) Where did she come from?
I have no idea.

But while I have you,
I'd like for you

to sign off on the centerpieces.

Yes. Um...

Well, they're stunning,

but those are peach roses
and I wanted white.

Yes. Yes, yes,
yes, I know.

But Fernando thought, you know,

this being your
second wedding and all,

perhaps white was
not appropriate.

We could always go darker.

Lavender, brick.
Brick is good.

Mom. We discussed
this, okay?

This is not Fernando's wedding.

This is Candace's wedding

and she would like white roses.

All right, all right.
To hell with

what's appropriate
and respectable.

(CHUCKLES)

I'll call Fernando right now

and just forget I was ever here.
(EXHALES)

(WHISPERING) I'm sorry.

(GASPS) Um...

Um, are you in
the adjoining suite?

Oh, oh, yes.
What a coincidence, huh?

It is.

Oh, come on now.
Don't worry.

Once the door closes you can
barely hear a thing. (CHUCKLES)

Ta!

(SIGHS)
(DOOR CLOSES)

Did you know that she was
in the adjoining suite?

Of course not. No.

Don't you think that's
a little Norman Bates

to have your mother
sleeping in the next room?

On our wedding night?
Yes, yes. Yes, I do.

The doors are soundproof,

and I'm sure she's gonna respect

our wishes and
our privacy, so...

Okay-

LORETTA: Sorry!
(GASPS)

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Forgot my cell phone.

(CHUCKLES)

Proceed.

(MUTTERING)

Norman Bates, my ass.

(GASPS)
(DOOR CLOSES)

CEDRIC: Damn! That was like being
blocked from behind by LeBron.

It's called pre-game
jitters, people.

Happens to the best of us.

Michael's been bitched,
and Jeremy's shot was flat.

Now it was time to see
how Zeke was doing.

Is it steamy in here,
or is it just you?

It's just me.

Okay-

What do you think?

Zeke!
Uh, it's nice.

It's nice?

No, that is beautiful. I didn't
expect it to look that expensive.

You didn't expect it
to look this expensive?

No, you're a fashion genius.

What do you want me to say?
I love it.

Babe, can't the hotel
do that for you? No.

Look at this Grecian tub.
Let me fix you a bath.

We got enough time
for two quickies.

Stop. Stop.
Not in the mood.

Not in the mood. Okay?

Besides, I'd like
to be the one woman

you haven't slept with in Vegas.

(CHUCKLES) Really?
Wait. Hold up.

Hmm? Mya.

I slept with one woman.

You know, counting
is so damn high school.

We all have a past. It's not
like I lied about mine.

Yeah, but you definitely
downplayed it.

Who doesn't downplay?

You downplayed your fling with Kanye.
(GASPS)

That's not the point.

All I'm saying is that
I don't think it's fair

that my past is an issue
and yours is not.

What I'm saying
is that I feel...

(SIGHS)

I don't feel
like you're being...

I don't feel like
your letting me in.

How am I not letting you in?

I'm trying to
let you in right now!

I'm saying you're giving me
half-truths, not telling me everything.

Ask me what you wanna know.
Anything?

I'll tell you whatever
you wanna know.

I wanna know what
you guys are doing

for the bachelor party tonight.

You know,
it's nothing extravagant

because it's not in the budget.
Mmm-hmm.

It's just a night out with the guys.
Mmm-hmm.

Get a steak dinner,
maybe some gambling.

Mmm-hmm. And hit a couple clubs.

See? I just told you
and you don't believe me.

You?

Or "Zeke the Freak"?

CEDRIC: Damn! Rejected.

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ One, two, three, four
Uno, do', tres, cuatro

♪ I know you want me ♪ Want me

♪ You know! want cha
♪ Want cha

♪ I know you want me

♪ You know! want cha
♪ Want cha

♪ I know you want me

♪ You know! want cha
♪ Want cha

♪ One, two, three, four
Uno, do', tres, cuatro

♪ Six to tha clock,
on my way to the top

♪ Pit got it locked
from brews to the locker

♪ All I. P, uh,
big and packer

♪ That he's not,
but damn he's hot

♪ Mami got an... like a donkey,
with a monkey (GROANING)

♪ Look like King Kong,
welcome to the crib

♪ 305, that's what it is

♪ With a woman
down here the sh...

♪ I know you want me ♪ Want me

♪ You know! want cha
♪ Want cha

♪ You know! want cha ♪
CEDRIC: Whoo!

Hey!

That was masculine.
(CHUCKLES)

Oh, relax. You haven't got
anything I haven't seen already

in a much, much larger size.

You know, the air
comes in low, right...

Hey, Miss Loretta.

Welcome to
the Constantine Villa.

Are you ready for the tour?

Are you ready to be slapped?
No, ma'am.

I don't want that.

Now listen very carefully.

I've got a list of
the dos and don'ts

for Michael's
bachelor party tonight.

I don't think we need a list...
Ah, ah, ah, ah.

My Michael is
a good Christian boy.

He's always been a good Christian boy.
(GRUNTS)

(SCOFFS) Some stuff...
He has.

And I want him to still be
a good Christian boy

when he gets married tomorrow.
Hmm.

Are we clear?
Yes.

Are we clear, short man?

No, we... I'm seeing
through what you said.

That's how clear it is.

Thank you.

And put some clothes on.

There's nothing
attractive about that.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey, Miss Loretta, you didn't
have a key, did you? You just...

(DOOR CLOSES) She got ass.

CEDRIC: Well, with the
warm-ups looking pretty bleak,

we had to turn to the one
member of our team that

we could always
count on to score.

So, how are you?

Good.
Great, actually.

Subscriptions are up 11%

since the Michelle Obama issue,

and I just closed
this amazing deal...

Baby, baby-

Yeah?
How are you?

(CHUCKLES)

Better now.

Mmm. Oh, wait.

I totally forgot to ask. What?

How was it catering
the TED talk?

They asked me back
for next year.

Really?
And the best part.

Chef Cotillard told me
I had a gift.

In fact, he's making
me and the guys

a special tasting
menu just for us.

I am so proud of you.

Thank you.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Don't get it.

Mmm, no, I'm just gonna see who it is.
No, don't get it.

(GASPS) Oh, my God.
I have to get it.

It's Lee Fox.
CEO! Lauren.

(ON PHONE) Lauren, it's Lee.

Listen, a position's opened
up at the parent company.

I think you'd be perfect for it.

(WHISPERS) Grabbing a shower.

Um, for what?

COO of our Global Media Group.

Are you interested?

Are you kidding me?
Absolutely.

Great, I got a meeting with the
board of directors this afternoon.

Things could move fast.

I need you settled in New York
by the first of the month.

(DOMINIC SINGING IN SHOWER)

Wait, New York?

That is where our headquarters
are located, Lauren.

I got a good feeling
about this. Now go.

I did, too.

(SINGING CONTINUES)

You look beautiful
in that light.

How'd it go?

It went good.
Great, actually.

Dominic, we need to talk...

(KNOCKING)
JEREMY: Housekeeping!

Oh, the guys are here.

Yeah.
Hello.

And you know what?
You should get that.

No, they can wait.

Uh, no, they'll get us put out.
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

They're so loud.
That's true.

All right, I'll take care of it.
Okay.

Come on, Homeo
and Do-me-yet!

Open up the door, Dom.
Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Whoa, whoa, button up.
It's a little early.

I'm insecure enough as it is.

Let's go. Give me a sec.
Give me a sec.

Oh, what up, Lauren?
You look good, girl.

What kind of lotion you wearing?
(MEN LAUGHING)

You been on the treadmill?

So, I gotta go.

Okay-

Is everything all right?

JEREMY: Hurry up, man.

Yeah.

Hasn't this part burned out yet?

You guys still all like
each other and stuff?

(SIGHING) God, I just
love you so much.

ZEKE: Damn!
Come on, boy.

I love you too, babe.
(IMITATING KISSING NOISES)

Get a room!
We're in it!

Well, stop.

Behave.
I'll be good.

Okay, please.

Hey, Lauren. Your
afterglow is amazing.

DOMINIC: Move.

He was killing that.

(DOOR CLOSES) Shit.

CEDRIC: So, even though we were a
little confused on how to score,

it was time for
the first quarter tip-off.

Your guests are here, sir.

CEDRIC: Oh!

Hey, there they go!

Welcome to my crib, gentlemen.

Damn, C, I knew you
had a good year,

but how big was your bonus, man?

Dom, you only get
to be best man once.

Besides, I got a great deal.

Real good deal. I'm paying
four grand a night.

ALL: What?
For all this?

It's gotta be at least 10.
No, it's not.

You sure you don't need
us to chip in for this?

Silence! Don't
insult me like that.

JEREMY: Guys,
he says he's good.

Let him treat us.

Listen, me being here
with my best friends,

that makes it worth every penny.

Every damn penny.

Oh, Ced, put some
clothes on, man.

Hey, you guys want some drinks?

I'll have a drink. That's
the only reason I'm here.

Okay. Declan,
let's do that.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

I thought you were trying
to turn the lights on.

No.

All right, gentlemen, let's get
these glasses up in the air.

To a night that we will never forget.
(GLASSES CLINKING)

You guys realize this is the
first time in three months

we've been together
for even a drink?

Sad, what happened to us?

Work, man.
Nah, relationships.

Weddings.
Kids.

Fellas, that's why we need
to embrace this moment,

because for one blissful
night, gentlemen,

we are free from
all of our obligations.

Preach on.

From all of our responsibilities,
and we're definitely...

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
ZEKE: Uh-Oh.

We're free from our women.
How about that?

Look, mine's down.
This is Zeke.

GAIL: Zeke, let me talk to Cedric.
It's important.

You picked the right best man.

He knows it.
You know it, too.

(WHISPERING) It's Gail. What?

She says it's important.
Tell her I'm busy.

She knows I'm with you. So,
why you pick up the phone?

Because it was a private number.
Lower your voice.

Lower your voice.
It was a private number.

You don't answer private numbers.
Give me the phone, man.

We expecting strippers to call.
Just give me the phone.

Listen, you drunk Muppet. Gail.

I tried to use my credit card.
It was declined.

Declined? What are you talking about?
You heard me.

If I was there, I'd kick
you in your throat.

I may have went over
the limit a little bit.

How much, Cedric?

Gail, listen to me.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime
type thing.

I'm gonna kill you!
Okay, this...

(CELL PHONE BEEPS) Hello?

Hello?

Gail?

Declined?

Here you go, sir. This should
make you feel a little better.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Declan.

I'm serious,
I needed that right now.

This is so refreshing

to finally live with someone
who understands me.

Oh, likewise, sir.

I think we're like soul brothers
from different mothers.

I don't think that's it, but...

(MEN LAUGHING)

BENNETT:
I'll have some more.

ZEKE: So what's
the plan, Ced?

See those “vets fight there'?

I made those up
for the after-party.

Now look, each guy
here is responsible

for five girls a piece.

That's how I did the math.
Five, 10, 15, 20, 25.

Guys, guys...
I make 30, okay?

Guys! I don't need this.

Tomorrow is the biggest
day of my life.

Here we go. MICHAEL:
Get to marry my queen.

I need you guys
on point and on time.

No, you're right.

Did you remember to wax your
vagina for the weekend?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Think like a man!
Just for five minutes.

I am acting like a man.

CEDRIC: You're not
acting like a man.

You got the rest
of your life to follow

this woman around
a grocery store.

Stop!
Tomorrow's a big day.

This is your bachelor
party, Michael.

And this is wisdom.

CEDRIC:
I'm your best man.

Let me do my job. I done
printed these flyers and shit.

Why don't we see
a show or something?

Mmm, don't worry,
there will be a show.

Wait. Criss Angel's
still in town.

We could start off there.

Jersey Boy won eight Tonys.

CEDRIC: We had decided
to run the motion offense.

Which means keep moving and
keep your problems to yourself.

The maid of honor was about to
put her game plan into effect.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Or so she thought.

LORETTA:
Hello, sweetie.

I heard you were having a little
get-together for the bridesmaids

and thought I'd bring
a few refreshments.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Ah, ah, ah.

You won't be needing this.

Oh, another one.

LORETTA: Put the tea
over to the left.

Girls are gonna love this.

Ladies.
ALL: Hey!

Sonia!
You came already.

My God, your outfit is so cute.
Thank you!

But it is not complete without

this.

WOMEN: Aw.
There you go.

Thank you, guys-

KRISTEN:
You know what, though?

I think there's still
something missing.

MYA: Does feel like
something's missing.

There's definitely
something missing.

Ta-da!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Candace, meet Idris.

SONIA: Give me your arm.

Awful.
Come here.

So you can get used
to being chained

to one man for the
rest of your life.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, my very own Idris.
Let's hit the pool.

♪♪

♪ Too legit, too legit to quit

♪ Too legit, too legit to quit

♪ Too legit, too legit to quit ♪

Mr. Ward?

Yes!

Hey, guys. I'm sorry, she just called me.
Let me get through y'all.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Just let me get through.

Excuse me!
Sorry! Hercules.

Hi.
Hey.

Welcome to Venus pool.
I'm Leikula.

I'm Cedric.
How are you?

I just spoke with Declan and
we have your cabana prepared.

I'm following you.

Perfect.
Patience.

Wow.
Oh, yeah.

CEDRIC: Every player
knows during the day,

the real action's at the pool.

It's the place to hook up
and strut your stuff

and check out everyone else's.

And the best part?
Chlorine kills everything.

Is this a topless pool?

Nah, Mike. They just got T-shirts
with their breasts on them.

Why do you think the line was
so long, baby? Come on, man.

I hope this meets
your expectations.

Oh, no. Sweetie, this has
exceeded our expectations.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Enjoy.
I appreciate it.

Okay. Huh?

What'd I tell you?
All right.

What'd I tell you?
Oh!

I suggest you all look at some of
this scattered ass around here.

We thought we hit the jackpot.

But the danger of Vegas
is the mirage it creates.

The men were putting on
a cool front.

But let me tell you something.

From underneath, trouble was
brewing like a pressure cooker.

(SCREAMS)
(ALL LAUGHING)

(SHUSHING)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

CANDACE: Do you see what I
am walking around with?

I see it.

CEDRIC: Unfortunately
for the girls,

their set offense had run
into a nasty zone defense.

Oh, shit!

(WHISPERING FRANTICALLY)

Un-cuff me!
I don't have the key.

Un-cuff me!

I got it. Watch out.

(AIR HISSING)

Ladies.

Hi!
Hi!

Just go. Hide the cuffs.
LORETTA: Come right on in.

High tea.

Damn! Look at that.

Dude, can you imagine
having a woman like that?

Just keep this in mind.

For every supermodel you
see, every hot girl you see,

there's some dude
that's sick of her shit.

Zeke, you and Mya having
problems again, man?

Obviously.

She's suddenly fixated
with my past.

That whole
"Zeke the Freak" thing.

CEDRIC: Oh, God!

Imagine that.

Take a second to look
at this damn view.

This is what it's about, man!

Fellas!
(BENNETT SNORING)

Bennett!

Get your ass up!

What's wrong with you?
Clay Aiken! Asleep.

What are you all doin'?

MotorStorm:
Apocalypse, baby!

JEREMY: And somehow,
he's whooping my ass!

I'm about to whoop
both your asses.

Do you know where
you are right now?

At the pool.

We're in Vegas!
Why are you screaming?

Mr. Ward?
Yes.

Care for another drink?
You know what?

Mmm-hmm.
(SLURPING)

Yes. You know what?
Give me something strong.

And give me five more
shots of testosterone

for these ladies that
I'm with right now.

Thank you.
Yes.

Boy, I'd like to climb that mountain
right there, I'll tell you that much.

That is a big badonkadonk.

All of a sudden, you're
good at video games, huh?

Listen, I play this
every night with Duke.

Duke's a great kid.
He cracks me up.

You know what he asked
me earlier today?

If, after the wedding, if it would
be okay if he called me "Dad".

Time out.

Let me ask you a question.

That doesn't freak
you out at all?

What?

Out of nowhere, all of a sudden...
Boom!

You're an instant dad,
just like that.

You're responsible for
this whole other human.

No. Not a cat, not a dog.

This is a human, with teeth
and hair and bones and blood.

What if they hurt somebody?
What if they get kidnapped?

Or if they kidnap somebody?

Either way, it's all down to you

for the rest of your life.

That doesn't freak you out?

No. I'm excited
about it.

I don't even know
why I ask you stuff.

I want you to stand up
and enjoy this...

Wow!
What?

Man, you gotta
take one of these.

(STAMMERING) What's that?

We're looking for people
for amateur night.

Oh, you're looking at
the wrong people, man.

You need to be
looking in the pool.

You got your pick
of the litter out there.

They look good, but we need
some men, and you fit the bill.

Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah.

'Cause I got my shirt off,

you probably judging by
my amazing Physique that

that's my cup of tea, it's not.

There's huge cash prizes.

You come down,
you win some money...

I'll take one. Bennett,
sit your ass down.

Free hot buffet.

So, some hot chick
just rolls up on you.

She's like, "Do you mind helping me
with a little bit of suntan lotion?"

What do you do?

It'd never happen,
but I'd stand my ground.

Hello, Blue Eyes.

I was hoping you could help me.

There's a couple of
spots I can't reach.

(CHUCKLES)

I probably, probably shouldn't.

You probably should.
Hmm.

What, you're in a
relationship or something?

Uh... (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

Yeah. Yeah, lam.

So am I.

Really?
This is Vegas, baby.

Lighten up.

You heard her, Dom.
It's Veg-Ass.

Vegas. Yep.

I love her.

All right.

CEDRIC:
Sweetie, sit down.

Let me show you how it is around here.
Okay, no.

'Cause my hands...

I'm sorry, did you
just spit at me?

'Cause we gonna talk about that.

Excuse me, what is going on?
Talk to me.

(STAMMERING)

(MOCKS STAMMERING)

Spit it out, Dom!

It didn't...
What didn't?

She just wasn't quite...
She wasn't what?

She wasn't tall enough. Dom,
let me tell you something.

You know that men spend their entire
life savings to go to Brazil?

You just had Brazil
come over here,

and you're gonna turn it away?

You know what, y'all?

I'm sick of
this Non-tourage.

'Cause that's what
I'm with right now.

I'm gonna get me a new crew.

Ced, you being dramatic.

I'ma roll with some sailors
and some congressmen.

Republicans!
Shut up, Bennett!

You know, I'm done.

Turn up, that's what I'll do.

I'ma have me a good time.

You gonna join the fun? Girl, you
damn right I'ma join the fun!

(WOMEN CHEERING)

Yeah!

See what I'm saying? Y'all wanna
sit over here on lounge chairs.

I'm about to get in the
water with some titties.

That's what I tried
to give you, Mike.

You didn't want this life,
I'm gonna take it!

(SHOUTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

It's too deep!
I can't swim!

(CHUCKLES)
It's like Finding Nemo.

(SCREAMING)

One of you bitches grab me!

Should we help him?

Nah.

Seams: Help!

Turns out, I wasn't the only
one in need of rescuing.

Ah! Where was I?

ALL: The article.

Yes, yes, yes, the article
in the O Magazine.

They talked about all the
craziness that goes on

in these bachelor
and bachelorette parties.

I read the same article.

And the women are getting
just as wild as the men.

Mmm-hmm. With the
Magic Mike strippers

and the bridesmaids dares.

Or faking an orgasm, you know.

(MOANING)

All of that in a crowded bar.

Or doing Jello shots
off a stranger's abs?

I don't know why women can't
have just as much fun as men.

MYA: She's right.
Getting a lap dance

at your bachelor
party is expected.

But if women have fun...

You're whores!

Did she just call us whores?
Yeah.

Fortunately,

I don't have to worry about all
that behavior with you, Candace.

(CHUCKLES) All that
girlish foolishness.

You're much too old for that!
(ALL GASPING)

Much too old.

I heard you the first "old".

So, what are you guys
gonna do tonight?

Urn, nothing too wild,
you know, just girl time,

you know, girls of the same age.

And cocktails at a couple clubs.

Maybe take in a show.

Good. Then you'll
have plenty of time.

Time? Uh,
time for what?

(WHISPERING) I've gotta
get away from her.

I know, I know.

Anybody got any sleeping pills?

Don't worry.
I can get rid of her.

How? I can handle
that old battle-ax.

Ladies, I've got another surprise.
(ALL GROANING)

We've got reservations tonight...
Uh-uh! Oh!

Excuse me.
Miss Loretta,

I am so sorry to
disappoint you, sweetie,

but we already have plans.

I was able to squeeze in

a reservation for five at Nobu.
Corner booth.

Isn't that a coincidence?
How so?

Andre the concierge

was able to score reservations

for seven tonight at Nobu.

At the head table.
So we're going, girls!

I can't believe you were
gonna exclude Tish.

Damn, she's good!

Welcome to the rest of my life.

Okay, you guys, there's gotta
be something that we can do.

What does Miss Loretta
want or need?

She needs to get laid.

(GASPS) Wait a minute.

When does your
Uncle Eddie arrive?

Didn't you say he flirted with
her at the couple's party?

No, it will never happen.

Never say never in Vegas.

Floyd "Money" Mayweather!
I'ma get my dollar sign...

Ow! Ow! ALL: Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

Stop!

Floyd! Can you let him go, man?
Please!

Let him go! Let him go!
Bennett, get up!

BENNETT:
He's way too aggressive!

Listen, Floyd, he didn't
mean no harm, man.

He just a fan, that's all.

I follow you on Twitter
and MySpace.

That's all that is.

Dude, we didn't mean
no disrespect.

We here, my friend's
getting married.

We having a bachelor
party tonight.

We gonna do it at the Caesar's
in the Constantine Villa.

Nice.

I'm just trying to splurge
and show him a good time.

That's what you call
$40,000 a night?

Oh, he doesn't have a gold card.
That's the problem.

Dude, one of you guys
gotta research that for him.

You know what? You gotta
just look that up yourself,

but it's a good investment.

Let me get you this.

This is where we
gonna be at tonight.

Just read it, guys!
It's a flyer, man!

Here, Floyd?
Floyd, can you see me?

Let me slide it.

Floyd, can you get that?

Get the flyer.

Floyd, did you see it? All
right, that's where we at, man.

I'm gonna come check this out.

Cool. Well, okay...
You know, you all goin'.

'Cause you all got stuff to do.
Goin', man. Thank you again.

BENNETT: There goes Justin
Bieber's best friend!

Champ, champ, champ!

CEDRIC: In this battle
of the sexes,

whichever group came back with
the best stories would win,

and I was determined to
keep us ahead of the girls.

This is where it happens at, fellas.
Okay?

We on home base
right now, casino floor.

Now look, let's pick our poison.
Oh!

What is your problem, Bennett?
Where you goin'?

Slots! Pharaoh's fortune.

Tish gave me 200 bucks to
gamble with this weekend.

Bennett, you walking
around with a purse on,

you talking about playing slots?

What is your problem?

It's a fanny-pack,
it's not a purse.

I don't care what it is,
it's attached to your spine!

What's wrong with slots?

Everything is wrong with slots!

We're not a group of old women

that just bussed in here
from Bakersfield!

Now listen to me.
We came here as a group

and we gonna play as a group.
Let's play Blackjack.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I only played blackjack once
and I lost 300 bucks.

So what?
JEREMY: I lost 600.

Spring Break, my junior year,

it was my entire money for
weed the whole semester.

I almost dropped out of school.
Okay, now. Hey! Hey!

Y'all got negativity
floating all in the air!

I'ma take it,

and I'ma put it in my
pocket, and guess what?

You're not getting
that back. Okay?

Now we will keep
the fun train going.

Let's keep
tchoo-tchooing, guys!

You rolling with the pros.
Just follow our lead.

Thank you, Dom! Thank you. No!

Guys, there comes
a time in a man's life

when he has to take a stand.

Can I go play slots?

Take your ass to
that slot machine.

Don't bring that
negative energy here!

Is there a bathroom that way?

What are you doing?
Mike?

Guys, can I get
a second with Mike?

Guys, I'm just going to the...

Just y'all go ahead.
Just go ahead.

Take all the time you want.

Dude, what is going on?

I cannot do the job
that you asked me to do

if you don't allow it.

I got a great time for you, man.

I got some shit set up.

We gonna have a good... Dom! I
told you don't pick no table!

Ladies, shall we?

Oh!

Damn it!

Hit me.
You split those!

You said never split the aces!

I said always split the aces!

You feeling all right?

Don't be getting in my head,
Randy, all right? Hit it.

Damn it!

Hit me, baby, hit me!

Oh!

Oh!

The greens are how much?

CEDRIC: Twenty-five.

Ah!
Ooh!

Oh, God!
You gotta be kidding me!

Ced, Ced, come on, man.

I'll give you some chips, yo!

No!

This ain't over, Randy.
I'm here every night, son.

This ain't over.

Yes, can I please have
a martini, straight up?

Uh-uh, come here,
come here, come here.

Cancel that.
(GASPS)

Candace.
Huh?

Alcohol is the leading cause
of hangovers and bloating.

I am glad I'm not the bride.

Ladies, I've got
another surprise.

Tickets to see Dionne Warwick
tonight, fifth row center!

TISH: Score!
(LORETTA LAUGHING)

Dionne Warwick?

Yeah, you...

You told me you and your mother
love Dionne Warwick, right?

Right, but I...

Good, then. It's settled.
(LAUGHING)

Thanks, Candace.

HOSTESS: Hanover bridal
party is right over there.

Uncle Eddie?
EDDIE: Ladies.

CANDACE: Uncle Eddie! What
are you doing here? Oh.

I had to come and toast my favorite
little niece before her big day!

(QUIETLY) I got your message.
Thank you.

♪♪

Miss Loretta.

I'm so sorry to hear about the
untimely passing of Deacon Johnson.

I know what it's like
to have loved and lost.

If there's anything,
and I do mean anything

I can do to help,

just let me know.

Now, how many times have you
used that line on a woman?

I've said it plenty of times

to plenty of women,
Miss Loretta.

But it's the first time
I've said it to a lady.

Ooh.

Excuse me,

she also has tickets to go
see Dionne Warwick tonight.

And no one to go with.
Nobody.

Dionne Warwick?
No kidding.

You know, my church choir just
sang I Say a Little Prayer...

Hallelujah!
(WOMEN LAUGHING)

If you'd allow me to buy
one of these tickets...

No, no!
You can have mine.

Please.
Take mine!

Hey, hey, hey!

(CLEARS THROAT)

I'd love to accompany you.

How about it's my treat?

I mean, after all,
That's What Friends Are For.

Looks like Miss "Whore-etta"
is back in the saddle.

♪♪

CEDRIC: Momentum had suddenly
swung in the girls' direction.

And the guys were about to commit
the first of many turnovers.

Word on the street is,

Kristen is trying to have
a baby like right now, J.

Right?

Word on the street.
Uh, yeah.

No, we're both
really excited about it.

When you ain't getting no sex,

let's see how excited you are.

You ain't lying about that!

"I don't feel
sexy right now."

You ready for
fatherhood or what?

Fatherhood's gonna
be awesome, Jeremy.

Thanks, Big Mouth.

I think Jeremy's fears
are somewhat justified.

Think about it. How does
a child raise a child?

Wow, Zeke, really?

Finally!
You too, Mike?

No, my frat brothers.

Isaac and Terrell
just got in town.

These two are the biggest
party animals I've ever met.

Hopefully, they can contain you.

'Cause you such a wild animal.

Maybe you can find a water park.

Chef. The tasting
menu is exquisite.

My friends and I, we thank you.
It's incredible.

He has to say that.

How about the rest of you?

(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Uh, how about perfection?

It's amazing.

Uh, Michel, a round of
whatever it is they want.

So, fellas, if you could spare
your friend, I have a few minutes

if you want a tour
of the restaurant.

Lead the way.

I love Ratatouille.
It's one of my favorites.

CHEF: So, Dominic,

I took a look over
your prospectus,

And I must say
I'm very impressed.

But I'm not looking to invest
in another restaurant.

Right.

'Cause I am opening
a new one myself

and I'm in the market
for a new sous chef.

And I think you are my guy.

Me'?
Ah, oui.

Your new sous chef?

Well, say something.

Are you really offering
this to me? Now?

Your fusion tapas inspired
a whole new entree,

which is a fancy way
of saying I stole them.

I can't believe
this is happening.

Did I mention my last
three sous chefs

went on to create
their own restaurants?

That's the dream.
And you could be next.

They are breaking ground

on the new space
at Planet Hollywood.

Why don't you stop
and take a look?

Planet Hollywood?
Here in Vegas?

Oui.

Excuse me, Chef?

Ah.

I really think this can be huge.

Yeah.

I'm very excited about this.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oh, boy.

♪♪

Ladies. You guys.

I'm gonna say goodnight
to you now.

Thank you so much
for including me

in the day, it was so much fun.

It was our pleasure.
Thank you.

Tish, what are you
gonna do tonight?

Well, I'm gonna have
a "mom-cation".

I'm going to play the slots
a little bit by myself

and then I'll just go nose
around the gift shops by myself,

take selfies with
the statues by myself.

I don't know, just like
drink alone in my room.

It might be a crazy night, but
you're more than welcome to join us.

That's so sweet.
Yeah, come.

Fine, I'll do it!
Yay!

I do not wanna be alone
in my room in Vegas.

Okay, Tish.

If you're gonna join the bachelorette
party, I have one cardinal rule.

You must dress up.
Yeah.

Yeah, because we have to be
able to get into the club.

So you're gonna have to pull
it together a little bit.

(CLICKS TONGUE) Like, belt it?
No.

You know what? I have
a different twin set.

That's rule number two, is that
you can't wear a twin set ever.

Okay-

Get a cute little dress and
some shoes, some heels.

These are the highest heels
I'm allowed to wear,

because I have rolling arches.
Mmm-mmm.

Well, this is all I brought,

so I don't know what else
you want me to wear.

ALL: Bebe!

Come, come, come.

♪♪

♪ Bands they make her
dance apocalyptic

♪ Bands they make her
dance apocalyptic now

♪ Bands they make her
dance apocalyptic

♪ Smash, smash, bang, bang

♪ Hey, baby

♪ But I need to know

♪ If the world says
it's time to go

♪ Tell me, will you freak out?

♪ Smash, smash, bang, bang

♪ Don't stop!

♪ Smash, smash, bang, bang

♪ Don't stop!
Chalangalangalang ♪

CEDRIC: Shots up!
(ALL WHOOPING)

Hey, to Mike! I'm sending
you off the right way.

I'm the best best man
anybody can have! Ha-ha!

(GROANS)

♪♪

♪ Hey, big spender

♪ Hey, big spender

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

(MEN WHOOPING)

♪♪

CEDRIC:
You want Ceddy, baby?

Coco, did I ever tell you that
I love a woman in uniform?

CEDRIC: Did I tell you I love a
woman without a uniform? Go, Coco!

Dom. You all right?

Yeah, I'm good. You been
really down since dinner.

Seriously, what's up, man? Stop
babysitting your drink, Dom.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Oh, yes, you are fine.

ALL: Ooh!

I think she likes you.

No, Dom, we can see when the
wheels are turning, man.

Come on, outwith it.

Chef Cotillard offered me a job.

What did he say?

The Chef offered him a gig.

That's huge, Dom!

ZEKE: That's a celebration right there.
Especially if I take it.

Why wouldn't you take it?
It's in Vegas.

Lauren and I live in LA. ZEKE:
This is a pattern with him.

It's called the Dom Syndrome.

It's called, he's
officially her bitch.

That, too.

What are you all talking about?

We talking about the fact that she
dumped you, and you took her back!

I know what I want.
Stop!

So, now you telling me you gonna
give up the job of your dreams,

The job that could make
you, for that woman?

For the woman.
Spoken like a true...

Do not say it again.

It's actually kinda romantic.

You swimming
in the Kool-Aid.

No, what good is a dream job
if he's gonna be miserable?

Let me ask you a question. Do you
all synchronize your cycles?

There's an app for that,
and I'm serious. (LAUGHS)

But wait, I got one question,
then I'ma back off.

Do you honestly believe that
she would do the same for you?

CEDRIC: Whoa!
Wait a minute!

Good question, Zeke.
How do you do it? Tell me.

ANNOUNCER: Can we have
Coco to the main stage?

Let me help
you down. Jesus.

Excuse me, Coco. Thank
you for the dancing.

It's show time.
My frat brothers,

Isaac and Terrell?
They just showed up.

CEDRIC: There they go!

What's up, man?
I'm Cedric.

I'm the best man with the plan.
What's up, baby?

Ced, it's not them.

Oh.

Hey. Hey.

There they go!
(CHEERING)

ALL: Birds of a feather
all flock together.

(ALL SQUAWKING)

What fraternity did Mike pledge?

Abercrombie and Fitch Epsilon.
Mmm-hmm.

This is Isaac and
this is Terrell.

What kinda white woman
names her son Terrell?

I'm just messing with you!

CEDRIC: Chain him up!

Get it on.

MICHAEL: Guys, guys, guys!

Why didn't you
think of that, Zeke?

Probably because black men
don't put chains on black men.

White men put chains
on black men. Django.

D is silent.
I saw that movie.

Hey, guys, what's a pickaninny?

Guys, you gotta
meet my frat brothers.

This is Isaac.

ISAAC: How are you doing, little guy?
And this is Terrell, guys.

I've heard so much about you
guys, and none of it is true.

Where are your drinks, ladies?

Come on!
What is this?

Is this a Shirley Temple
and a club soda?

ISAAC: Whose bar mitzvah is this?
You gotta take this night...

(GRUNTS) Absolutely.

You and me are gonna
die tonight. Let's go.

MICHAEL: I told you, you're
gonna love these guys.

Mmm-mmm.

(WOMEN CHEERING)

Yes!

Whoo!

Come on, Tish!

♪♪

Girl, those are
three-inch heels.

These shoes are killing me.

Miss Harris? I'm JP, your driver.
Yes?

Ladies, your ride awaits.

Wait! This is our ride?

It is now!

Wait, you stole the boys' ride?

Genius!

After you, ladies!

I love that!

How are they gonna get around?

Who cares?
That's not our problem.

CEDRIC: Whoa, whoa! Hey, yo,
what the hell is this?

This isn't my ride.
Dude, I ordered

the pimped-out party bus
with a stripper pole in it.

It's got a pole. Cedric,
what the hell is that?

Zeke, don't start, man.

I'm liking your gay vibe, man.

Stop. Everybody
stop for a second.

Hey, do we look like
a group of guys that's

gonna roll to a spot
in something like this?

Huh. As a matter
of fact, you do.

Man, this is Vegas.
I've seen it all.

Are you gonna get in the car?

'Cause you're getting
charged regardless.

Dude, I'm not gonna argue with you.
We walking.

Ced, you know how long
these Vegas blocks are?

Let's do it!

I'm getting in the car, bro.

20% gratuity is
non-refundable.

CEDRIC: The women had not only taken
our ride, they had taken our mojo.

All right, what's on the agenda?

Oh, actually, I have about 10
agendas for us this evening.

I fear them already.

As you should.

Okay, the first one is...
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Is someone vibrating?

You're not gonna
answer that, are you?

Put it on silent.
(ALL YELLING)

I have to get this.
Hello, Lauren Harris.

WOMAN ON PHONE:
Please hold for Lee Fox.

Who wants a cocktail?
ALL: Me!

All right.

Ooh, that food was garlicky.
You guys got any gum?

I think I have something
in my purse, side pocket.

I'll have one of those.

SONIA:
I definitely need one.

TISH: Me, me, me.

And a Benadryl, if you have one.
SONIA: Pass me one.

Earthy.

LEE: Lauren, it's Lee.
Hi, Lee.

All I can say is congratulations.
It's unanimous.

You're officially COO of
our global media group.

Did you hear me?

Yes. I'm...

I'm just, I'm stunned.
I'm speechless.

Welcome to the Big Apple,
Lauren Harris.

And to the big leagues.

Now go, have fun
with your bridesmaids.

We'll lunch on Monday.

Okay, here we go.
There you go.

Are you okay?

(SIGHS)

Lauren?

TISH: Someone's gonna throw up later.
SONIA: You're ready to party.

Let's go!

TERRELL: Vegas! Whoo!

♪♪

(LAUGHS)

Hello, Sofia.
How are you?

I'm wonderful, Zeke.

Guys, guys.

This is the lovely Sofia.
Sofia, this is the boys.

Hello.
Hey.

CEDRIC: How's it going?
Easy. Easy.

Let's go.
Take your time, man.

Let's give him some space.

So, how are you?

CEDRIC: Zeke had
to call a time-out

After running into
yet another old flame,

who made it clear her life
was much better without him.

Turns out that
he was still holding on

to the fantasized
memories of his past!

But the real question was,

if ladies no longer saw
him as Zeke the Freak,

then who was he?
Ooh!

Let me ask you something, how
did you let that slip away?

I think I was just an asshole.

Sometimes, you gotta wait
to find the right woman.

The perfect woman.
And that's who you marry.

Zeke ain't getting married!
What the hell is going on?

We here to have a bachelor party, men!
(CHEERING)

Can we do that?

(CELL PHONE RINGING) Saying the
same thing over and over again

to you all, man.

Nobody answer any phones.

Solidarity, brothers!
I like that.

Gailzilla ain't gonna mess
up my trip this time.

What did you call me, Cedric?
You know I can hear you.

What do you want, Gail?

Why the hell do I have over
$40,000 worth of charges

on my frozen
company credit card?

What're you talkin'
about, 40,000 what?

You're dead, Cedric.
You are dead!

MAN: Baby,
who you talking to?

Who was that?
I gotta go.

Gail!
This isn't over.

Everything all right, C?

I gotta... God damn it!

Is Gail here?

Don't worry about it,
I'll go get him.

You guys go ahead. I'll meet
you at Planet Hollywood.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Whoa!

This music is so intense!

Yeah. The beat just
moved right through me.

TISH: I feel like
I'm on a conveyor belt.

♪♪

These bitches are trippin'!

Excuse me.
I'm so sorry. Sorry.

Uh...

Hey, Marcel!

Mr. Ward.
How can I help you?

I think there's a little
glitch with my bill.

Well, let's have
a look, shall we?

I booked the Constantine Villa

under a very special
promotion on my gold card

for 4,000 a night.
Mmm-hmm. No. "Off."

I'm sorry, what?
Pardon? What'd you say?

The promotion is for
$4,000 discount a night.

Normally, the Constantine
is $44,000 a night,

but with your special promotion,

you are getting
an amazing savings.

Plus, you're getting
40,000 gold points.

I don't give a damn
about them gold points.

You know what, Marcel?

Actually, you know what
I just realized? What?

That room is too much. It's too big.
Too big?

'Cause it's too big
for one person.

It's cold, it's lonely.
I can't sleep.

Do you think I can move to a more,
lesser, a more lesser room?

Smaller room?

Something smaller, with one bed?

Absolutely,
I can do that for you.

There would be no
additional charge

since you are staying in
the Constantine tonight,

which requires our standard
72-hour cancellation.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Um, but you know, you know what, Mr.
Ward,

Oh.

I think that we can see to just
charging you for the one night.

One night?
Does that help?

Yeah.

Is there something else
I can help you with?

Where is the...
Where's the ATM?

The ATM is right there.

Marcel, just say it, where?

To your right.
Over here?

Just right over there.
Whose is this?

This is for guests as they enter.
Well, I need it.

Ced, what happened?
What are you doing?

I gotta win some money, Dom.
For what?

I gotta win money right now.

Ced, wait!
Stop, stop. Talk to me.

What, Dom, what?
What happened?

The room was a lot more
than I expected it to be.

All right, cool.
So, how much?

$36,000 a night more.

You ain't got it, Dom.

My heart, man!

Give it back, man.
Just give it back.

Ced, one second.

Just tell me what happened.

What do you mean,
tell you what happened?

I just told you
what happened, Dom!

Am I speaking
Spanish? Huh?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I got you.
No, you don't got me!

What makes it worse is I put the
entire $40,000 on Gail's company card.

What did you do that for?

You think I meant
to do it? Shut up!

She gonna kick yo ass.
No shit, Dom!

You're saying everything I know,

you making this a lot worse!

You think?

I gotta get my life back
and fix it.

The only way I'ma fix it
is the way I know how.

I gotta win my money back.

But Ced, here's the problem.

No one ever wins when
they need to in Vegas.

Who are you, Nega-Tron?

I got two words
for you, Rain Man.

Rain Man, right, okay,
let me call the guys.

No, you're not calling nobody!

This is Michael's day, man.

I'm not gonna ruin this
for him, all right?

And I don't want those guys
around me while I'm gambling!

They gonna throw off my vibe.

Now what I need you to do,
I need you to be my friend.

Be my wingman right now.
Buy me an hour.

All right.

One hour, Dom,
that's all I need.

Heart Bar. Meet us
there in one hour.

One hour, that's all I need.
One hour, Ced.

I just told you the time, Dom!

Don't say it no more!

Stressing me out!

What do you think the boys are doing?
ALL: Strip club!

Michael specifically said
that he did not want

one of those skanky
Vegas ho weekends,

and he hates strip clubs.

Girl, they are men!

And what about his
creepy little best man?

And let's not get started
on his first lieutenant!

I don't give a damn where they're
at or what they're doing

or if they have stoned sperm

or if they even
want kids or not!

Wow! What did Jeremy do?
Not me!

He compared me to
Louis Gossett Jr.!

ALL: No!

Apparently, I'm not fun anymore.

You are so fun!

I know! Exactly! Next round's on me.
Gotcha.

Speaking of fun,

for your challenge at the
Gallery Club, Miss Hall,

you have to dance on a bar,
table or in a go-go cage!

No!
(ALL CHEERING)

♪♪

You think Jeremy's right?

'Cause they say

where you're at in your sex life

is where you're at in real life.

What if I'm just
controlling, you know?

What if I am a drill sergeant?

♪♪

I'm fun, all right?

I'm fun, okay? Whoo!

♪♪

I'm back, Randy.

DJ: All right. We're gonna take
you guys back to the '90s.

♪♪
(ALL SHOUTING)

♪ Girl, I must warn you

♪ I sense something
strange in my mind

♪ Yeah, yo

♪ Situation is serious

♪ Let's cure it 'cause
we're running out of time

(ALL CHEERING)

♪ It's driving me out of my mind

♪ That's why it's hard
for me to find

♪ Can't get it out of my head

♪ Miss her, kiss her,
love her...

Hey, here you guys are.

Cedric okay?
Yeah, he's good.

Where is my best man?

Still the best. You guys need
another round? It's on me.

I'm full, man.

♪♪

♪ If I were you
I'd take precaution

♪ Before I start
to meet a fly girl

♪ You know, she's so fly

♪ She'll drive you right
out of your mind

♪ Steal your heart
when you're blind

♪ Beware she's schemin'

♪ She'll make you think
you're dreamin'

♪ You'll fall in love and
you'll be screamin' demon...

Cedric got about
two more minutes

and then I'm designating
you the best man.

You know what?
Let's do some shots!

I gotta pee.

Yeah, hurry back.

Told you not to break the seal.
You'll be peeing all night.

♪♪ (ALL CHEERING)

♪ Moving it slow

♪ Looking for a mellow
fellow like De Voe

♪ Getting paid, laid,
so better lay low

♪ Scheming on house, money,
and the whole show

♪ The low pro ho
should be cut like an Afro

♪ See what you're sayin',
huh, she's way into you

♪ But I know she's a loser

♪ How do you know?

♪ Me and the crew used to do her

(WHOOPING)

♪♪

All right,
let's do another shot.

Guys, I'm ready to go downstairs
to see my best man on a table.

It actually looked like he was up.
(ALL CHEERING)

Your bachelor party!

♪♪

♪ Poison! Poison!
Poison! Poison!

♪ Poison! Poison!
Poison! Poison!

♪ Poison!

Stop it!

♪♪

♪ I was at the bar shake,
breakin' and takin' 'em all

♪ And that night
I played the wall

♪ Checkin' out the fellas,
the highs and lows

♪ Keeping one eye open,
still clocking the hoes

♪ There was one particular girl
that stood out from the rest

♪ Poison as can be,
the high power chest

♪ The bride is here,
and I'm running the show

♪ Ladies, now you know

(LAUGHTER)

♪ Now you know

♪ Everybody, blow

♪ Poison ♪

(ALL CHEERING)

(SHOUTING)

♪♪

Sorry I'm not the perfect woman

for your perfect son,
Miss "Whore-etta!"

But I want my
white roses, biatch!

♪♪

CEDRIC: Hey.

(ALL CHEERING)

Hell, yeah!

They gonna fire you, man!

You ain't gonna be
able to work here no more.

ANNOUNCER ON TV:
In other business news,

Yanex Media has
promoted Lauren Harris

COO of its global
media division.

Miss Harris has quickly risen

to the top of the conglomerate's
Los Angeles office,

and will change coast
to helm operations

at Yanex's hub in New York City,

one of the nation's biggest...

What the hell?
Yes!

What's going on?

I texted you like 27 times!

Listen to me!
Dude, it's been an hour!

Don't come over here with
that negative energy!

Okay? Not right now,
man, I'm up!

I'm up like eight grand,
and I can win a lot more.

Go over there, go throw
a ball or something!

Listen! Are you the best
man or the worst man?

The worst man?

Oh, okay.

I don't see any
boobs in his face.

Wow. You know what?
You're 100% right.

J.Crew and Ralph Lauren
are right, man.

Dude, I'm serious, Mike.
I've abandoned you.

You didn't abandon me.
No, Mike, stop.

I abdicated my duties
and my responsibilities

for my own personal
wants and needs!

Cedric, you're good,
you just been gambling.

That's not why you
made me best man!

You made me your best man
because I'm responsible.

(LAUGHS) And you can trust me,
unlike anybody else here.

Tomorrow's a new day,
gentlemen, but tonight,

tonight, Cedric is back on duty.
You hear me? Okay?

Let's go, guys!

And, Randy,
it's been a pleasure.

Right behind you, Bennett.

Go ahead, Zeke. Hey.

What did I ask you for?
I said buy me some time.

I did the best I could!

I could have had all
the money back, Dom!

Damn!

Guys, it's midnight. It's midnight.
Guys, guys, listen.

And this is not the
alcohol talking, guys,

this is the biggest day
of my life, gentlemen.

This is the day I get to marry
the woman of my dreams, man.

Come here, man. 'Cause
I know how you feel.

This is the 15th.
This is my wedding day.

And there's nobody
I'd rather be with.

Mike, you said today's the 15th?

Yeah, the day I get to marry Candace.
Oh, my God, that's a sign.

Mike, stop!
I get it.

You're getting married.
People do it every day. Stop.

This is a sign!

Of our love.

Mike, will you shut up?

Please! Listen, I lost my
virginity when I was 15, okay?

On the 15th.

Me and Gail have been separated 15 times.
It's a sign!

God, I get it!

It's a sign!

Just calm down!

(ALL SHOUTING)

$10,000 on black 15.

You're melting down!
Get it together!

Listen to me!

All that negative energy
you're putting in the air,

take it out right now!

This is a sign. $10,000, black 15.
Right now. Move.

$10,000 on 15, table max.

CEDRIC: Don't nobody
talk to me right now.

We shouldn't let him do this.

Cedric, are you serious?

Zeke, don't talk to me no more.

Somebody say
something else to me,

I'm gonna get really upset.
It's a sign!

Are you letting him do this?

CEDRIC: (WHISPERS)
Black 15.

Cedric.
Black 15.

Black 15.

Black 15.

Black 15!

(SINGSONG) Black 15!

CROUPIER: No more bets!

Black 15.

Winner, black 15, winner.

Yes, yes, yes!
I told you!

♪♪

$350,000!

I told you! Whoo!

Cedric.

You didn't win. Hold on, Zeke.
Wait, stop, stop!

Where's my money?
I put $10,000 right there.

I was trying to help you, so
I made a safer bet for you.

You did what?

Remember what you said?
Negativity...

So, I don't get the $350,000?

Listen to me!
Do I have $350,000?

Wait a minute, Ceddy.
Take it out of the air.

Hold on, Zeke.
Hold on, man.

(GRUNTING)
(ALL SHOUTING)

I'm gonna choke you out!

Get your hands off me!

I'm gonna kill you, Zeke!
I'm gonna kill you!

Get off of me!

I'm good. Get off me. Where's Zeke going?
I just wanna talk to him.

MICHAEL: Zeke, run!
He's coming after you!

CEDRIC: It was
the third quarter,

and it was still anybody's game.

I can't believe you
guys are hungry again.

We need our energy
after that performance.

True.
Look, it's midnight!

It's officially
your wedding day!

Oh, my God, it is!

What's wrong? It's all right
to have wedding day jitters.

It's not that.
I was just thinking,

when you marry someone,
you marry their family.

And I can't marry Miss Loretta.
She hates me!

Hate is a strong word.

And she is a strong woman!
She's a bitch.

Yeah, she is.

And no matter how hard he tries,

with a mother like Loretta,

Michael is always
gonna be a mama's boy.

Accept what you cannot change,
or it will destroy you.

My grandma Eleanor told me that
the day I married Bennett,

and it's gotten me through 15
wonderful years of marriage.

I feel like that's so passive!

What, did you just give up?

I believe that I can affect
change in my relationship.

You can, but you can't
change a man's nature.

Exactly.
She's right.

You can't force
a man to do anything.

Gotta let it happen naturally.

So, basically,
I'm just wasting my time.

Nobody's saying
you're wasting your time.

You're still mad over
the Zeke the Freak thing.

Yes! No!

I'm not mad about that, it's just,
I feel like he's pulling away,

and every time
I talk about this wedding

or your dress or the fact
that I'm a bridesmaid,

he gets this look on his face
where he just looks horrified.

Maybe he's just afraid
of being married.

But I never said anything
about getting married,

so why would he think that?

Probably because all his
friends are getting married?

All men are terrified
of getting married,

because it reminds them of everything
they're never gonna get to do.

"Hey, Tish, I think we
should try a threesome."

"Oh, really, Bennett?
Do you know what that is?"

"Yeah, it's when two girls
and a guy freak dance."

Whoo! Time out!

"Is that why you
need your inhaler?"

Ladies, we're not gonna
talk about fear of marriage

a few hours before my best
friend Candace gets married.

Plus, we have that
last dare to complete.

Yes.

You, my friend,
have to get a lap dance

by a hot, sweaty,
steamy stripper!

(ALL CHEERING)

Ladies' night.
To the strip club!

CEDRIC: Now, while the girls' team
seemed to be coming together,

my team was falling apart.
Look at us! Just stupid.

Save me? I'm already saved, Zeke!
All right, all right!

Guys, stop, stop! You're
ruining my bachelor party.

He's ruining your bachelor party.
I'm sorry.

What's up with you?

You guys said
the Constantine Villa

should be more
than $4,000 a night?

Mmm-hmm.
Well, it is. It's 40.

$40,000?
How, Cedric?

The day that he asked me to be the
best man, I booked the villa.

For forty grand?
Yes, for forty grand, Zeke.

You want me to say it again?
You want me to make it worse?

Yeah, but why would you do that?
You was drunk.

You were buying
the whole bar drinks.

You don't think I know what I did?
No.

Bottom line, I had
everything under control.

I had the money on the table.

I had Gail off my ass
and everything.

We gotta cut you off.

TERRELL: Yeah, I'll hold it.
Listen, stop.

Just give me the damn bottle back.
You're done. You're done.

It's my fault. How do I make it right?
I don't know, Zeke.

What do you want me
to say? I don't know.

World Series of Beer Pong
is at the Flamingo.

Do you play?
Champ of my dorm, baby.

Are you joking? You don't go to
a beer pong at a bachelor...

Guys, I got it! I know how
we can get the money.

Easy.

You kept the stupid flyer?
Bennett, you're a genius!

Oh, my God. This is it! The Hustler Club.
Ladies Night!

They're doing a big contest
for amateur male strippers.

$50,000 in cash and prizes.

This is bullshit. No way the
winner takes home $50,000 in cash.

Who does this anyway?
You're wrong, Dom, look.

1st place, $25,000.

2nd place, $15,000.
3rd place, $10,000.

Great, even if you win
and come in first,

you still don't have enough.

Guys, the first three
places add up to $50,000.

We can do this, guys.
We?

Come on, Ced. That's all right.
You've been drinking.

No, Dom, I'm not tripping. This has
got nothing to do with drinking.

You're fishing.
Okay, Zeke, you owe me!

If I ask you to take your little
black ass out there and shake it,

you, out of all people
here, are gonna shake it!

This is not fishing, this is reality.
We can pull this off!

I think we should do it.
It could be fun.

You guys have
really good bodies.

Baby oil on black skin always
brings out all your muscles.

Come on, please!

I say we go for it.
CEDRIC: Thank you.

I'd like to male strip.
CEDRIC: Yes.

Yeah. I'm not doing it.

We're in Vegas. This is not
going home with us, guys.

It's done.
It's a one-time thing.

Come on, y'all.
Can't do it, man.

Dom?

There's no way.

Absolutely no way in hell
I'm going through with this.

My mama would kill me
if she saw me in this.

Help me with
my fanny-pack.

How's my body look in this?
Awful.

What are you supposed to be?
A sexy hobbit.

No, I'm a sexy caveman.

Gotta be kidding me.
Black Spartacus?

ISAAC: Oh,
that's a good idea.

All right, fellas. You got
15 minutes before show time.

Loosen up, bro.

All them ladies gonna
eat you alive out there.

CEDRIC: Better watch out, Zeke.
(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

♪♪

(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)

I can't believe
this is happening.

I'm actually in a strip club.

Oh, girl, please. We ain't doing
anything our men aren't doing.

Except we're not
gonna get caught.

Ooh! Look at him.

Okay, the action's down here.

Uh! Trust me,
it's not.

Follow me, ladies.

(CHEERING)

Lauren! Do we
have to do this?

Yes!

Oh, my God. It's your final dare.
Stop being a mom.

(ALL CHEERING)

Ladies!

Oh!

Give it up, give it up.

Come on, ladies!

How hard can it be
to impress them?

That is a bunch of drunk
and horny women out there.

Wild crowd tonight, guys.

Cute hobbit.
Go get them.

Ugh!

Okay. That guy
is a professional.

And this is amateur night,
for chrissakes, you hear me?

You win by applause.

Hey! Listen up! My first
three amateurs, you're on!

Our outfits are gonna be better.

ISAAC: Look at
that pork chop.

Oh, shit.
It's a setup.

Man, those are ringers.
(LOUD CHEERING)

Competing for $50,000 in cash...

Take your pants off!

...Sexy Santa and
his little helper.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Come on, ladies!

Come on, ladies,
let me hear you!

Are you ready?

I said, "Are you ready?"

Ladies, this is the moment
you've been waiting for.

Do we have any bachelorettes
in the house?

Any bachelorettes in the house?

Yes, over here!

We're only gonna bring one, one
lucky bachelorette to the stage

for a lap dance from Santa.

(CHEERING)

Can I get a Candace? Do we
have a Candace in the house?

Candace, come up on stage.

Come on!

Fellas, go get Candace.

Go, yes, take her!

ANNOUNCER: Give it up
for Candace, ladies.

Good one, Lauren.

Yeah, I got her good, didn't I?

ANNOUNCER: Come on, ladies,
let me hear you.

Come on, ladies, let me hear you!
Lauren!

One more time,
from the top, okay?

Five, six.

Five, six, seven, eight.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

And step. And snap it.
Get lower, like Beyoncé.

Right here. You gotta do this.
This is what they want.

And then back it up.
That's your boy.

It's like you got a chance to
put it right in they face.

Uh-oh. Here it is.
Took it away.

You know, you don't
have to do this.

Uh, we do have to do this, because
we took an oath, Michael.

Another one?
Come on.

You promised!

(ALL BOOING)

Y'all see that right there? It's
not gonna be that bad, man.

Just keep thinking $50,000.

Ladies, let's help her out.
Candace! Candace!

ALL: (CHANTING) Candace!
Candace! Candace!

I know a Candace.

TERRELL: Where are you going?
One more shot!

ALL: (CHANTING) Candace!
Candace! Candace!

Candace!

"Kansas"?

Get off my girl!

Michael?

That's my girl right there.
Get your hands off me!

Oh!

Michael's fighting!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my God.

Get off her!

That's my friend!

(GRUNTING)

Stop!

Michael!

I got you!

Get off of her!

Stay down, all right?

Really, dude?
Oh, shit.

No!

Bar fight!

(SCREAMING)

Michael!

MAN: The story you are
about to see is true.

The names have been changed
to protect the innocent.

CEDRIC: So the fourth
quarter began with

both teams on a downward spiral.

CEDRIC:
Hey, Dom, slow down.

Wait. Mike,
wait, wait.

What?
Wait, wait.

Slow down.

Look, while we're
in here right now,

I don't want nobody...

(DOOR SLAMS)

(LOCK CLICKS)
(BUZZER BLARES)

All right.
Everybody all right?

It's a door.
Okay, listen to me.

Don't nobody say nothing
to nobody in here.

You keep your mouths shut.
DOMINIC: That's a good idea.

You let me do all the talking.

Hell, no.
What do you mean?

Why would we let you
do all the talking?

Because I'm a Season 1
holder of OZ.

Yes. Have you seen it?
I've seen it.

Have you seen Season 1?
No.

Exactly, so you don't
have the knowledge.

Why don't you just
have my back one time?

Talk some sense into him.
Don't talk no sense into me!

Zeke's gonna blow
this whole damn thing.

Now look, we'll... Oh, my God,
Bennett, did you just fart?

I'm nervous.

Okay. You...

(BENNETT SIGHS) Listen to me.
Listen to me right now.

On the count of three,
I'm going in. Okay?

One, two...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Three.

(HIGH-PITCHED)
Everybody, listen up!

What I need to know

is who's the boss in here?

Whatever you're thinking
right now is wrong.

You know why it's wrong? 'Cause
the new boss just walked in.

That's right!

Me and my crew.

We just took this over.
You got that?

(GRUNTING)

(ALL SHOUTING)

BENNETT:
It's a sign of respect.

Mercy, please.

BENNETT: Mercy.
Mercy, please.

BENNETT: Mercy, please.
We're sorry.

CEDRIC: You want
the cube, you got it.

We don't need this cube.

Where was y'all at? Huh?
Why you up there, Dom?

CEDRIC: One thing that never
occurred to any of the players

was that both teams could lose.

FEMALE GUARD: Come on,
ladies, keep it moving.

Let's go.

(BUZZER BLARES)
(WOMAN WOLF-WHISTLES)

I'm not mentally prepared to
be someone's bottom bitch.

(GASPS) You know we're
probably all getting Chlamydia

from sitting on
these benches, right?

You know you're all
thinking about it.

My first official photo
on my wedding day

is a mug shot!

This is bad.

This is really bad.

LORETTA: Dionne Warwick
in concert.

How 'bout that Do You
Know the Way to San Jose?

Oh, yes, I do.
(LAUGHING)

Hmm. I had the time
of my life, Eddie.

So did I.

So...

But it doesn't have to end.

I could use a nightcap.

Eddie. Ooh, Eddie, listen.

I'm an old-fashioned girl.

I don't go in for flings and
affairs and one-night stands.

I understand.

So, um,

(SIGHS)

I'm gonna say good night.

I'm gonna say good night, too.

Good night.

Good night. CEDRIC: So let
me get this straight.

You're gonna use your one phone
call to call your mother.

She's gonna get us
out of here fast, watch.

Anything?

No, my mom's phone keeps
going to voice-mail.

Who else?

BOTH: Uncle Eddie.

LORETTA: (ON RECORDING) It's Loretta.
Please leave a message.

Who am I supposed to call?

Hello? Hi,
could I talk to Kanye?

Can you just tell him
to get on the phone?

No, I'm still not
gonna call him Yeezus.

Mom, if you get this message...

What you mean, where am I at?
Where the hell are you at?

Who's this?

Hell, no! I know there ain't
that bitch in the background.

Listen, I'm in the Clark County jail.
Come bail me out.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

That's a rude way
to answer the phone.

I don't know anybody's number.

It went to her voice-mail.

I'm getting a new
assistant, she's fired.

Honestly, I don't know
anybody's phone number.

It's programmed in my phone.
Who dials a number anymore?

Hello? Hey, Jonah.

Hey, put Nana on the phone.

She's asleep?
No, don't wake her up.

No, there's nothing
underneath the bed.

I checked before I left.
What?

What do we do when we're scared?
(SHOUTING) What time is it?

What time is it?

It's game time!

Any dogs in the house?
Any dogs in the house?

Alls we need is each other!
Alls we need is each other!

'Kay, feel better?

All right, I love you.

(SIGHS)

We're next, let's go.

'Sup, Ray? So, you
pretend to be Ray Lewis?

For my kids, I'll be Ray
Lewis, Jerry Lewis,

or Emmanuel Lewis if it helps.

But how do you know
it's gonna work?

I don't, I'm just winging it.

My kids just want to know
their dad's got their back.

It's not rocket science.

(SIGHS)

it was a good Ray Lewis.

Thanks.

I can't believe you're
making me do this right now.

It's the only number
you remember.

'Cause I tried
so hard to forget...

Dial.

Not right.
Dial.

(VIBRATING)

MAN: Hello?

Uh...

Who is this and where is Gail?

She's preoccupied
right now. So...

Preoccupied? What...

Yeah, it means busy.

Wait a minute, hold on.
Say "preoccupied" again.

Preoccupied.

Is this Drake?

Dude, why you picking up
Gail's phone, man?

Oh, this is...
This must be Cedric.

Actually,
I'll tell you one thing.

You definitely
sound the way you look.

That's not meant to be taken
as a compliment either.

At the end of the day,
you're light-skinned,

so if I hit you it's gonna show.

Listen, I'll get Gail to call
you back, okay? (DOOR OPENS)

You won't get Gail
to do anything.

DRAKE: That's actually up for debate.
You know, Drake, honey...

I'm gonna put
the phone down now.

CEDRIC: Put this phone
down, I'm gonna...

Hello?

GAIL: I'm re-thinking
the bedroom chaise lounge.

I like the way you say chaise.
Chaise lounge.

I never really noticed how
nice of a word that is.

Gail!

If you give that light-skinned
nigga some ass...

Gail, I know you hear me!

KRISTEN: Break!
(GRUNTING)

This was all his idea, not mine.

He just had to have
a Vegas wedding.

I wanted to stay
in LA, you know.

I can't believe
we're still here.

Just try to relax.
Come here. Sit down.

I can't!

Between us and the guys, I'm sure
somebody's already on their way.

Ladies, elbows stay
on the table, no cheating.

(STRAINED GRUNTING)
(LOUD THUMP)

Winner! Next!

Damn, Sonia,
you said you had her.

SONIA: You get her then!

My fiancée is spending
her wedding day in prison.

That's my fault. You
know, I'm just bad luck.

I'm like Mister from The Color Purple.
I'm cursed.

For real.

I mean, maybe I just want
it too bad, you know?

Dreamed too big.
You did.

Tried to fly too high.
Way too high.

I let you down, man.

But understand something. I was just
trying to be the best best man.

But, you know what, Isaac, you were right.
I am not the best best man.

I am the worst best man.
Yeah.

Let's take it a step further.

I'm the worst best man ever.

Yeah.

I kind of felt like that's where

y'all were supposed
to jump in and say,

"No, Ced. It's not that
bad." it is that bad.

We're in jail. Look at us, man.
Look at my pants.

Mike, I told you don't pick them
pants, so, don't put that on me.

This is not how it was supposed to be.
I mean, tonight was crazy...

It was awesome.
It was epic.

I'm supposed to be getting
married in a few hours.

All I wanted to do
was hang with my boys.

I didn't want some wild
and crazy Vegas weekend.

Michael, you gotta realize
that the night is just way...

Think about
the after-party, too.

Oh, my God, fellas.
The after-party.

I can't call and cancel that now.
Seriously?

Seriously, what?
That's where you go?

It's one note with this dude.

What do you mean
I'm one note, Zeke?

You haven't heard
one thing Michael said.

I just lost $40,000, Zeke!

Fail.
What does that mean?

You fail.
Okay, you fail.

You are fired.
I don't work for you.

I just hired you and guess what?
I fired you.

Cedric, just stop, man.
We've had enough.

It's not about you,
it's about Mike.

It's been about Michael and
Candace this whole weekend.

No one flew in town for you.

I was about to say the same thing...
Enough.

Look, it's still your big day,

and I promise you we're gonna
do everything in our power

to get you out of here and
to your wedding on time.

You're gonna marry her.

♪♪

(SNORING)

(ALL SNORING)

(BUZZER BLARES)

(GASPS) on, my God.

Jesus Christ!

Lord have mercy.

(GROANS)

♪♪

Good morning.
(SHUDDERS)

Good morning.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Wait a minute.

MICHAEL: Hey, Mom,
it's me, Michael.

Listen, I'm in
the Clark County jail.

Oh, my God, we have to go.

Wake up! Wake up!

We're still in prison!
Wake up, Sonia! Wake up!

Mya! Mya, wake up!

No, this can't be happening.

Wake up! Wake up! Guys!

Bennett, wake up.

Jerm, Jerm, Jerm! Guys!

Wake up!
Excuse me, sir.

Tish, wake up!

Oh, God, let me out!

Please! Oh, my God,
please! Let me out!

I'm supposed to get
married in three hours!

I'm supposed to be
in hair and makeup.

Please!

Dom, you said you'd get us out of here.
Yeah. We'll get out.

Well, what time is it?

Let's go, ladies.
You just made bail.

We made bail!

Oh, my God,
come on! Let's go!

Thanks.

We made bail!

We're free!
Please don't leave me, guys!

We're free!

Oh, my God!

Oh.

Ooh!

BENNETT: Thanks for holding the door open.
LORETTA: Oh, my God.

Where's Michael?
He's right there.

Didn't I tell you
to keep an eye on him?

CEDRIC: There's
your boy right there.

Mom, I'm right here.
Oh, my God! Michael.

They hurt you?
No, I'm fine.

Where are your clothes?

LAUREN: Thank you!

Thank you.

Oh, this is probably your fault!

Oh, my God!

Can you believe this?

Tish?

Baby, that's not how I raised you.
They're my friends.

Oh, God, give me strength.
(SIGHS)

Michael.
Baby, I'm so sorry.

Hello! We have a wedding to
get to, people! Come on!

MICHAEL: Guys, let's go!

(ALL CLAMORING)

Sorry!

We're almost there!
Hurry up!

♪♪

Shh!

Hey! Quiet!

Where have you been? I've
been calling you all morning.

What's going on? Well, you
missed your time slot.

I told you, you had
to be here on time.

(ALL GROANING)

Hey! Hey!

Let me handle this.

Look, miss, there has to be
something you can do to help us.

Is there another location you can offer?
Anything. Please.

This is our busiest month for weddings
and everything's booked solid.

I've already checked. I'll keep trying,
but it's gonna take a miracle.

There's gotta be something
that you can do.

I'm sorry.

♪♪

Sorry, man.

♪♪

Not now.

♪♪

(SOBBING)

♪♪

You wanna do Baby Boy?

Oh, yeah, Jody!

You gonna clean the house?

Oh, I'm gonna clean
the house, Jody.

You gonna make me dinner?

I'm gonna make
you fajitas, Jody.

No, it's...
No, it's tacos.

You make tacos.
I mean, she makes me tacos.

Who cares?

I just wanna be accurate
if we're gonna role play.

But I don't like calling you Jody.
I'm sorry. It skeeves me out.

And your fanny-pack
is digging into my groin.

His real name is Tyrese.

I'm gonna call you Tyrese.

Tyrese?
Yes.

Take off your fanny-pack,
Tyrese! It's killing me!

If there was ever a time to
chill out, now would be it.

That's a great idea.

Hmm.

Guess you girls really did get

your freak on last night, huh?

Well done.

They did.

Which totally explains how
everything went sideways last night.

Hmm. So sideways. (SIGHS)

You know, Jeremy, I've been
thinking about what you said

about me being a drill sergeant.

Oh, babe, I'm so sorry.
I was being a jerk.

You were absolutely right.

I don't wanna force anything,
especially not a baby.

I think we should just take
the pressure off ourselves.

Absolutely.

No, I love us
without the pressure,

and if a baby comes out of that,

I'm ready.

Really?

Yeah.

In fact, I'm ready right now.

Mmm.
(LAUGHING)

Babe, don't you think we
should get a little sleep?

Khal Drogo no need sleep.

Khal Drogo need woman.

I just hope you're still,

you know, of optimum
ovulation, 'cause

I'm feeling pretty good.

Oh, no, babe.
That's not how it works.

It's like the first
day of my last period

and then you gotta
count a couple weeks.

And your last period was five
weeks ago at Comic-Con, right?

Five weeks? No, that
can't be right, can it?

♪♪

What?

I'm a week late.

You having a baby?

Possibly.

Possibly?
I've been stressed,

so that can
totally throw it off.

Are you possibly
having our baby?

Is our Halle-Tiger-Jeter baby
possibly in there right now?

Is my baby having my baby?

Wow!

Okay-

No matter what, I never
want us to stop being us.

Deal.

♪♪

CEDRIC: In relationships,

you score when you relax
your demands on your spouse

and yourself.

I should be talking to somebody,

calling somebody, using my
connections, something.

You got a lot of those.

When were you gonna
tell me, Lauren,

about this big promotion
in New York City?

(GROANS)

I saw it on television, Lauren.

Dominic, they were not supposed
to release anything until...

Well, it got leaked.

Okay, baby.
I can explain.

You took a job in New York
City without talking to me?

(SIGHS) Dominic,
it's complicated.

Yeah, it is complicated.

I got a job offer, too, Lauren.

What?

Chef Coward asked me to be

the new sous chef in the
restaurant he's opening.

That could
jumpstart your career.

I was going to turn it down.
Why would you do that?

'Cause it's in Vegas.

And the woman I love

and I wanna spend the rest of my
life with lives in Los Angeles.

And I just didn't think there was
anything more important than that.

I can't go through this again.

Dominic, stop.

I turned down the job, too.

What?

I called Lee Fox back and I
told him I couldn't accept it.

Why?

(CHUCKLES)

Let's see.

Well, the second reason
is because the man I love

and want to spend the rest
of my life with lives in LA.

What's the first?

I love his cooking.

♪♪

CEDRIC: Sacrificing to make
your relationship work

is as sweet as an off-balance
fadeaway at the top of the key.

I do it all the time.
The jumpshot, that is.

Well, for Zeke it wasn't
going to be that easy.

He was up against
a full-court press.

Nobody likes a trap.

Mya.

I've been texting you,
calling you.

You couldn't just let
me know you were okay?

I needed some space.

You know, Mya, I've been
doing a lot of thinking.

Yeah, Zeke. I've been doing
a lot of thinking, too.

Please, let me get
this off my chest.

(SIGHS)

I want us to be together.

But you weren't honest with me about
your past. Come on, you know it.

Okay, I give you that.
But let me just explain why.

I already know why. It's the
whole "Zeke the Freak" thing.

You just can't let it go.

No, Mya, it's everybody else who
can't let it go. Okay, I admit,

it's childish and it has been part
of my identity for way too long.

But, Mya, lam so
past that. You...

♪♪

Oh, shit.
This water's cold.

What are you doing?

Listen, I learned
something about myself.

I'm not that guy anymore. I don't
wanna be that guy anymore, Mya.

I know who I wanna be.

And who's that, Zeke?

I wanna be your husband.

And why now?

Mya, I have known for a while
that I can give myself to you

completely, no hesitation,
without regret.

I've just been waiting for
the right moment to ask you.

Will you please

marry me?

♪♪

Is that an...
That's an answer?

Yes.
Yes?

Yes, yes.

Yes!

♪♪

Oh, my gosh.

♪♪

Wow!

It's beautiful.

You know, there's a bridge on the
other side that you could have used.

CEDRIC: You score by understanding
that you can't move forward

until you both
let go of the past.

You hear that, Gail?
Let the shit go!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(SIGHS)

LORETTA: Michael?

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

I am looking for my son.

He's down at the concierge,
still looking for venues.

You know, Candace, maybe
this is for the best.

Sometimes we have to read
the signs in our lives.

Now if you really loved my
son you'd go back there,

finish packing and set him free.

I am ending this conversation
right now, Miss Loretta,

because if I say another word,
we will both regret it.

Oh, you got that right.
Both will regret it.

♪♪

♪♪

What was that?

How dare you talk
to my fiancée like that?

Who do you think you're
talking to, Michael Hanover?

MICHAEL:
I have no idea.

I would say that you're my
mom, a woman that I love

and admire more
than anyone else,

but I don't know
who this woman is.

Because this mean, vindictive
person that you are right now,

that's not the woman
that raised me.

And what you need
to do right now

is you need to walk into that
room and apologize to Candace.

You know damn well I'm not gonna
go in there and apologize.

Fine.

But please be clear, you're no
longer invited to our wedding.

I love that woman

And I'm gonna marry her
whether you like it or not.

(DOOR OPENS)

it had to be said.

True.

And, baby, I respect
and love you so much

for standing up
for me like that.

But I can't marry you, Michael.

Not like this.

Baby, this is no way
to start a life together.

What are you saying?

You have to go in there and
apologize to your mother right now.

Hell, no. She should
be apologizing to you.

Why are you defending her?

Because I am a mother, Michael,

and I love my son more than
anything in the world,

and I can't even imagine
the pain I would feel

if Duke told me I wasn't
invited to his wedding.

So you know what?
She may never like me.

She may never think that I am
good enough for her son but,

what mother does?

She has her flaws, Michael, yes.

But she is the reason
that you have become

the man that you are

and the man that I love so much.

But she should still
be apologizing to you.

She won't, Michael.

She is a proud woman.

Which means it is your place
to walk in there and say...

LORETTA: I'm sorry.

I was out of line.

Um...

You're right, Candace.

I never thought you were
good enough for my son.

Until now.

♪♪

I'm sorry.

Come here.

CEDRIC: When you insist on the
right way instead of your own way

nine times out of 10, you score.

♪♪

That's the thing about Vegas.

When you're up, you're up, and
when you're down, you are down.

Brought you a little pick-me-up
before you leave, sir.

Not in the mood, Declan. I messed up.
I messed up big this time.

I had one job to do.

"Cedric, can you be my best man?"
Couldn't even do that right.

Even though I wasn't
really asked like that,

the point is I was the best man.

Instead of providing a good
time, I messed up a great time.

The bachelor party,
the after-party.

That's nice. Prison.

The pillow, sir?
I like the color.

Please don't take the lamp.

Everything is my...

(GRUNTING)

It's all my fault.

(CHUCKLES WRYLY)

Well, I can't deny you've been
a bit of a silly-billy, sir,

but we British believe it's
always darkest before the dawn.

Now, speaking of dark,

have you thought
about a night wedding?

You know, when you've worked in
this hotel as long as I have,

you get to know
every nook and cranny,

and there is one
picturesque little spot

that I've always thought that

if ever there was to be a Mrs.
Declan, I would tie the knot there.

I do believe that I might be
able to arrange something.

Really?

Perhaps you'd like
to call your friends

and tell them not to
leave quite so soon.

And in the meantime, I've got
some magic to work, sir.

Declan, you dog.

Woof, woof, sir.

♪♪

CEDRIC: And just like that,
I was back in the game.

The best man with
the game-saving plan.

♪♪

REVEREND: Because
the institution of marriage

is not to be entered into
unadvisedly or lightly,

but reverently and soberly.

Too late for that.

Therefore, if anyone
here has reasons

why these two
should not be married,

speak now, or forever
hold your peace.

What y'all looking at?

Proceed.

(SIGHS) Do you have the rings?

Huh?
The rings.

The ring.
Did I give them to you?

No, you put them in your pocket.

I didn't put them in my pocket.

DOMINIC:
In your right pocket.

CEDRIC: No, I don't know where
I put them at. Right there.

I got it.
I have it. I'm sorry.

You really are
the best best man, Ced.

The couple would now like
to exchange their vows.

With this ring, I vow
to be a loyal husband,

a constant friend,

♪♪

and a devoted father
to our son, Duke.

I vow to love, honor,
cherish and adore you.

Baby, I'm going to
adore you forever.

(GROANS)

Mmm-mmm.

With this ring,

I vow to love you

in good times and in bad times,

in sickness and in health.

I promise to be in your corner

and by your side
forever and ever and ever.

I heard the whole group of them went
to jail the other night. The groom...

(SHUSHING)

Girl, you ain't gotta shush me.
I'm just telling the truth.

(WHISPERING) Stop.

Okay-

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.
(ALL CHEERING)

Mikey! Kiss her!
Kiss her!

Yay!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr.
And Mrs. Michael Hanover.

(ALL CHEERING)

Whoa!

Go hug your mother, boy.
Okay.

(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

♪♪

You did it, Michael.

You did it and it is perfect.

And I love you so much.

♪♪

♪♪

CEDRIC: Okay,
so it turns out,

Vegas isn't the worst place
for couples after all.

You know, maybe I should come
here with Gail sometime,

when it's snowing,
or maybe when it's hailing

Or when it's freezing rain,
which means never!

Dropped your dollar.

Bennett, what the hell am
I gonna do with a dollar?

That's like putting
a raindrop in the ocean.

Get your ass out
of my face, please.

All right.

♪♪

STEVE HARVEY:
Survey says...

(SLOT MACHINE
BLARING AND RINGING)

Yes! $100,000!

That's my dollar, I won!

Yes. Thank you.

Yes. Thank you,
Steve Harvey. Thank you.

That was my dollar, sir.
That was actually my dollar.

No, it's mine.
You gave it to me.

I put it in the machine.
It's my dollar.

I didn't give you shit!

You gave me the dollar. Remember
the whole "raindrop in the ocean"?

That is his money.
We won it.

It's my dollar.

Bennett, you tell your
wife to shut her face! Oh!

Don't tell me to shut up.
Don't bump, don't bump me.

Hello. Hi, there. Cedric!
You owe me money.

(ALL CLAMORING)

CEDRIC: That's my dollar!

♪♪

♪ Vegas nights

♪ Vegas nights

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Vegas nights

♪ Vegas nights

♪ Lift Off

♪ Take flight

♪ I'm living the life

♪ Racing down the boulevard

♪ Under the Vegas lights

♪ Ooh, whoa

♪ What a wonderful feeling

♪ I got my hands up
to the ceiling

♪ Singing, ooh, whoa

♪ Got my hands up in the air

♪ Where we end up I don't care

♪ Just let me get
a little Michael, tonight

♪ Get a little Gladys
Yeah, all right

♪ Get a little Lionel Richie,
Marvin Gaye

♪ And some of that Barry White

♪ Some of that Otis that we like

♪ Some of that Sam
show you right

♪ Gimme that Aretha Franklin,
Roberta Flack

♪ James Brown, Bobby Womack

♪ Oh, yeah, Vegas nights

♪ Vegas nights

♪ Oh, yeah, Vegas nights

♪ Vegas nights

♪ I really don't know what
I'd do without you, baby

♪ You flip the switch
and I'm on all night long

♪ And you know I can't
sleep without you, baby

♪ 'Cause even in a city with
lights, I still can't see

♪ But I feel 20-20
when you're with me

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ You're my everything

♪ Wanna be yours forever

♪ Baby, not just like me

♪ There's a storm of love
that stays over us

♪ Wanna bottle your light

♪ And then champagne the rest

♪ Just let me get
a little Michael, tonight

♪ Get a little Gladys
Yeah, all right

♪ Get a little Lionel Richie,
Marvin Gaye

♪ And some of that Barry White

♪ Some of that Otis that we like

♪ Some of that Sam
show you right

♪ Gimme that Aretha Franklin,
Roberta Flack

♪ James Brown, Bobby Womack

♪ Oh, yeah, Vegas nights

♪ Gimme that, gimme that
Vegas nights

♪ Oh, yeah, Vegas nights

♪ Gimme that, gimme that
Vegas nights

♪ I'm out for the night

♪ We'll keep it going
until the sun comes up

♪ We gonna sing
and we gonna dance

♪ Shut it down tonight

♪ Just let me get
a little Michael, tonight

♪ Get a little Gladys
Yeah, all right

♪ Get a little Lionel Richie,
Marvin Gaye

♪ And some of that Barry White

♪ Some of that Otis that we like

♪ Some of that Sam
show you right

♪ Gimme that Aretha Franklin,
Roberta Flack

♪ James Brown, Bobby Womack

♪ Just let me get
a little Michael, tonight

♪ Get a little Gladys
Yeah, all right

♪ Get a little Lionel Richie,
Marvin Gaye

♪ And some of that Barry White

♪ Some of that Otis that we like

♪ Some of that Sam
show you right

♪ Gimme that Aretha Franklin,
Roberta Flack

♪ James Brown, Bobby Womack

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

(MUSIC STOPS)

You leave yet?

DECLAN: Not quite, sir.

What about now?

DECLAN: Almost.

You there, Declan?

DECLAN: Not really.

(LAUGHS)

(CREW LAUGHING)