All language subtitles for Ace.Ventura_.Pet.Detective.1994.1080p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish Download
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,600 Heads up! Good defense! 2 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,200 Good defense! 3 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,900 We're going downtown. 4 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,300 Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt! 5 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,100 What do you want? 6 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:26,200 HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon? Alrighty. I have a package for you. 7 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,800 It sounds broken. 8 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:35,500 Most likely. I'll bet it was something nice. This is an insurance form. 9 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,500 If you'll just sign here, here, and here... 10 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,500 ...we'll get the rest of the forms to you soon. 11 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,300 That's a lovely dog. 12 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,200 - Do you mind if I pet him? - I don't give a rat's ass. 13 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,800 Oh, brother! 14 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 That's fine. I can finish the rest. 15 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,900 You just have yourself a good day. Take care now. Bye-bye. 16 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,300 Excuse me! HDS! 17 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,400 HDS! Coming through! 18 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,100 Got a package, people! 19 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,100 Get away from the door. 20 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,600 What's the matter with you? I said, get! 21 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,700 Son of a bitch! 22 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,900 That was a close one! 23 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,300 Unfortunately... 24 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,900 ...in every contest there must be a loser. 25 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,700 Hungry, fellow? 26 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,700 There you go. 27 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,500 No problem. It gets flooded. We'll just wait a few seconds. 28 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,700 Or we can try it now. 29 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,100 Putz! 30 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,400 Come on! 31 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,900 Get out! Get out! 32 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,700 Warning: Assholes are closer than they appear! 33 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:53,500 Give me a push while you're back there. 34 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,700 Alrighty, then! 35 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,300 It's alive! 36 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,300 It's alive! 37 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,700 My little baby, come here. You missed Mommy, didn't you? 38 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:57,300 Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you? I won't let him. No, I won't. 39 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,700 He can keep the big TV, but he's not gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. 40 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,400 Thank you, Mr. Ventura. 41 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,200 How can I ever repay you? 42 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,800 A reward would be good. 43 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,100 There is some damage to my car, and I had to fill it with premium. 44 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,600 Would you like for me to take your pants off instead? 45 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,700 Gee! Let me think. 46 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,300 Sure. 47 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,600 People are real friendly around here. 48 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,700 Ventura! 49 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,500 Yes, Satan? 50 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,500 I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else. 51 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,300 Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. 52 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,300 You owe me rent. 53 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,600 Mr. Shickadance, I told you, you're my first priority. 54 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:02,400 I'm on a very big case right now. Check this out. 55 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,500 Look at that. That's a true albino pigeon. 56 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,100 Some rich guy lost it. He's offering a $25,000 reward. 57 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,300 As soon as I find this bird... 58 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,400 ...you're paid. 59 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,200 I heard animals in there. 60 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,200 I heard them again this morning, scratching around. 61 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,400 I never bring my work home with me. 62 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,000 Oh, yeah? 63 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,000 What's all this pet food for? 64 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:26,900 Fiber. 65 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,900 Wanna take a look inside? Come on! 66 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,800 Come on! 67 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,200 Go ahead. Snoop around! 68 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,500 Well? 69 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,500 Are you satisfied? 70 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,300 Just don't let me catch you with an animal in here. That's all. 71 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,800 All right. 72 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,300 Take care, now. Bye-bye, then. 73 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,600 Loser! 74 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,500 Come to me, jungle friends. 75 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,600 Roger, let me ask you one question. 76 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,500 How in hell do you lose a 500-pound fish? 77 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,100 What? 78 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,600 I'm sorry, I was just going to say... 79 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,600 ...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal. 80 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,000 Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau. 81 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,100 She didn't mean anything by that. 82 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,700 I don't give a good goddamn about that fish! 83 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,300 Fillet it and fast-food it if you want to! 84 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,900 All I give a damn about is winning the Super Bowl! 85 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,800 My athletes have got to have their heads in the right place! 86 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,200 Shit, Roger! You've been in this business a long time. 87 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,400 You know how superstitious these players are. 88 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:46,200 I have a quarterback that's put his socks on backwards since high school. 89 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,500 I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed his jockey strap in two years... 90 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,500 ...because he thinks flies are lucky. 91 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,400 I want that fish on that field Super Bowl Sunday. 92 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,200 Find the fish... 93 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,100 ...or find new jobs! 94 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:04,200 Why did it happen now, two weeks before the Super Bowl? 95 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,400 I'll tell you, it's those animal-rights activists! 96 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,300 Always out with their signs: 97 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,500 "Animals were born free! Stop torturing Snowflake!" 98 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,800 That fish lives better than they do. 99 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:19,700 The police are checking into the animal- rights groups. Have they called back? 100 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:23,200 No, but I wanted to tell you, when I lost my Cuddles... 101 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,200 ...I hired a pet detective. 102 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,800 A what? 103 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,600 A pet detective. 104 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Thanks, Martha, but we better leave this to professionals. 105 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,400 Well, actually, he was quite good. 106 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:41,300 Pet detection is a very involved, highly scientific process. 107 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,500 Like a glove! 108 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,800 Mr. Ventura here to see you. 109 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,900 Thanks, Martha. 110 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,700 Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. 111 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,200 Pleasure to meet you. 112 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,400 Any trouble getting in? 113 00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:01,800 No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle. 114 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,000 Security's tight Super Bowl week. 115 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,600 Why don't you have a seat? I'll get right to the point. 116 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,900 Our mascot was stolen from his tank last night. Are you familiar with Snowflake? 117 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,300 Negative. 118 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,200 We got him from Miami. He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin. 119 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,800 This is a new trick he was going to do for the halftime show. 120 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000 Let's go. 121 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,200 Blue 42, blue 42! 122 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,600 Hut, hut! 123 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,300 All right! 124 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,200 Come on, let's go! 125 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,700 Good boy! 126 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,600 Would you like an ashtray? 127 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,600 I don't smoke. 128 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,900 It's a disgusting habit. 129 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,300 The police came today. 130 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,700 Apparently, the kidnappers came in through the back with a... 131 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,100 Four-wheel-drive van, loaded from the rear. 132 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,200 Roger, how you holding up? 133 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,400 If I'm walking funny it's because I got two dozen reporters up my ass. 134 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,700 They've been asking me about Snowflake all morning. 135 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,000 Who's he? 136 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,600 Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura. 137 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,700 He's our pet detective. 138 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:39,800 Nice to meet you. You came very highly recommended by Martha Mertz. 139 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,400 Martha Mertz? 140 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,300 Oh, yeah, the bitch! 141 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:50,200 Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. 142 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,800 Is that the tank? 143 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,800 Excuse me. 144 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,200 - Cops drain it? - Yes, this morning. 145 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,300 If I'm not back in five minutes... 146 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,000 ...just wait longer. 147 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:33,100 Captain's log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point. 148 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:38,500 We've traveled back in time to save an ancient species from annihilation. 149 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:39,900 So far... 150 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,400 ...no signs of aquatic life, but I am going to find it. 151 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,900 If I have to tear another black hole, I'm going to find it! 152 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:51,700 I've got to, mister! 153 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,100 Oh, great! 154 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,300 I'll try to head them off. 155 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,500 Ace, get out of the tank. 156 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,400 I just can't do it, captain! 157 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,500 I don't have the power! 158 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,300 People! 159 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,900 I said, get out of the tank now! 160 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:23,800 For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man! 161 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,400 Where's Snowflake? 162 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,600 Snowflake is not available right now. 163 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:33,300 Roger, I've been waiting all day. I got to get a shot of his new trick! 164 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,100 What, is he sick? 165 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,200 People, people! 166 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,300 Lassie must be missing. 167 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,500 Make any good collars lately? 168 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,500 Or were they leashes? 169 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,900 Homicide, Ventura. 170 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,400 How are you gonna solve that one? 171 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,800 Good question, Aguado! 172 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:01,500 First, I'd establish a motive. 173 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,500 The killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. 174 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,500 Then I'd lose 30 pounds porking his wife! 175 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,000 Come on! 176 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,900 Now, kiss and make up! 177 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,500 Excuse me. 178 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,300 I'd like to ass you a few questions. 179 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,300 This is not the time, Ace. 180 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:35,200 If Einhorn come down here and see me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. 181 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,500 I can keep him under control. You have to tell me who's on the Snowflake case. 182 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,200 I can't do nothing for you on that. My hands are tied. 183 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,800 All right, that's it! Now it's my turn! 184 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,500 Five minutes alone, that's all I need! 185 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,500 Better look alive. Einhorn's on her way down. 186 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,200 Come on, now. Ace, please. 187 00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,600 What's that matter? Afraid I'll make a stink? Come on! 188 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,100 Aguado's working the case, all right? 189 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,500 Aguado! 190 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,000 Good call! 191 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,300 We're just a little busy now... 192 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:13,400 ...with murderers and burglaries and drug dealers. Things like that. 193 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,600 A missing dolphin isn't exactly a high priority. 194 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,200 Now you've pissed him off. 195 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,600 - Would you give me a break? - I can't hold him much longer! 196 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:27,900 My boss is coming! 197 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,000 Okay, look. 198 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,000 We ran a check with local animal-rights groups. 199 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:38,400 We checked out the taxidermists and we already checked on van rentals. 200 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,800 So far, nothing, nathin', nada. All right? 201 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,300 Any unusual bets being made? 202 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,600 Of course! This is Super Bowl! 203 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,400 - What'd you find out about the tank? - Nothing. 204 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,900 Tire tracks, an escape route. A guard didn't see anything. 205 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:55,600 - That's it? - I swear. 206 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,100 Now will you please get out of here before I get in trouble? 207 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,300 Thank you for your cooperation. 208 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,500 By the way, do you have a mint? 209 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,900 Perhaps some Binaca? 210 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,900 Assholomio 211 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,000 Osadomia 212 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,500 Holy testicle Tuesday! 213 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:37,900 What the hell is he doing here? 214 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:39,700 I came to confess. 215 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,500 I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. 216 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:48,700 Spare me the routine. I know you're working the Snowflake case. 217 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,800 May I suggest you yield to the experts on this one? 218 00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:55,300 We'll find the porpoise. 219 00:21:58,300 --> 00:21:59,800 Now I feel better. 220 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:04,100 Of course, that might not do any good. 221 00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:07,900 Nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. 222 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:10,800 The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout... 223 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,100 ...while the bottle-nosed dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus... 224 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:19,800 ...has an elongated beak, cone-shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. 225 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,800 But I'm sure you already knew that. 226 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:25,400 That's what turns me on about you. 227 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,200 Your attention to detail. 228 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,800 Listen, pet dick... 229 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:34,000 ...how would you like me to make your life a living hell? 230 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,300 Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois. 231 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,500 But thank you for asking. 232 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:47,100 Maybe I'll give you a call sometime. 233 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:48,700 Your number still 911? 234 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,800 Alrighty, then! 235 00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:32,200 Excuse me. Is Greg here? 236 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,400 Thank you! 237 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,100 What's the password? 238 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,000 New England clam chowder. 239 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,100 Is that the red or the white? 240 00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,300 I can never remember that! 241 00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,500 White? 242 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,600 Hey, Woodstock! 243 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,100 Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going? 244 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,800 Super, thanks for asking. I hope you're having a lovely day. 245 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,000 Do you? 246 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:22,500 Don't I? 247 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,500 So what are you up to? 248 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,300 Just watching the fishies. 249 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,700 You see those blips? That's a Norwegian whaling fleet. 250 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,800 I'm sending them new directional coordinates. 251 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,300 They'll find Jimmy Hoffa... 252 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:40,300 ...before they find any whales. 253 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,100 Gravy! So can you still tap into the aquatic supply stores in the area? 254 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,700 Of course I can. Why? 255 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,100 I wanna trace the sale of equipment... 256 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,300 ...for transporting or housing a dolphin recently. 257 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,700 Come on, I thought you had a challenge for me. 258 00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:00,700 All right, we got marine winch, sling, feeder fish, 20,000-gallon tank... 259 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,000 Wait a minute. Look here. 260 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,100 That's a lot of equipment for a civilian. 261 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,200 Ronald Camp? The billionaire? 262 00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:12,900 Billionaire and rare-fish collector. 263 00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:16,900 Really? 264 00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:19,200 That is the face of the enemy. 265 00:25:19,900 --> 00:25:23,200 Always trying to get his greedy hands on endangered species. 266 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:24,900 Hold on. 267 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,000 Camp is connected with the dolphins? 268 00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:30,900 That subgenius gave them the land the stadium's built on. 269 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,300 And look, he's throwing another "I'm the richest man in the universe" party. 270 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:42,300 Looks like it's time for me to get myself a date. 271 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:53,000 I'm really going out on a limb here. His social events are strictly A-list. 272 00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:58,200 The date started good, Chuck, but before we got to the party, she tensed up. 273 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,000 If you do anything to embarrass me... 274 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,100 What? Like this? 275 00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,200 Hi, Captain Stubing. 276 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,000 How are Gopher and Doc? 277 00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:15,700 Permission to come aboard, sir. 278 00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:36,900 I'm sorry, ladies. 279 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,700 Glad you could make it. 280 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,400 Thank you. 281 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,000 You look wonderful. 282 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,000 And who is he, a friend? 283 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:54,200 No, this is... This is my date. 284 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,800 He's a lawyer. 285 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,100 Does he have a name, or should I call him "Lawyer"? 286 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,100 I'm sorry. This is Ace V... 287 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:10,000 Tom Ace. 288 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,400 Pleasure to meet you. 289 00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:14,700 Congratulations on all your success. 290 00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:16,400 You smell terrific! 291 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,600 One of the first lessons we learned... 292 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:20,900 ...back at... 293 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,300 ...Stanford was the growth of food- poisoning claims against wealthy-people. 294 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,900 One could make quite a lucrative law practice... 295 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:31,300 ...with little else. 296 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,600 How is everybody feeling tonight? 297 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,400 Very, very well, thank you. 298 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,500 Look, honey... 299 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,500 ...there's the hors d'oeuvres. 300 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,400 Are you insane? There is no way that Camp stole Snowflake. 301 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000 What are you trying to do? 302 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,800 Will you keep him occupied while I work my magic, please? 303 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,300 Smooshy, isn't it? 304 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,900 We got a few cases from my new dealer in Paris. 305 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,500 Excuse me, Ron... 306 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,800 ...I need to use the bathroom. 307 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,200 I think it's the p�t�. 308 00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:33,200 Sure, it's over there. 309 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:37,100 Stuff probably looks better on the way out. 310 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,100 He wasn't feeling well earlier today. 311 00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:27,500 Gravy! 312 00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:32,800 Don't worry, Snowflake. 313 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,700 Ace Ventura's here. 314 00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:39,300 Yummy! 315 00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,900 Snowflake! 316 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:03,000 Here, Snowflake. 317 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,400 I've got a snack for you. 318 00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:22,600 They're wonderful, aren't they? 319 00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:25,300 Yes, they certainly are. 320 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,400 No matter what's going on in my life... 321 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,700 ...I can always watch them swim... 322 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,300 ...and be totally at peace. 323 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,300 It's not Snowflake! 324 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,800 It's not Snowflake! 325 00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:49,000 It's not Snowflake! 326 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,900 Are you sure your date is all right? 327 00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:12,000 It's been an awfully long time. 328 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:13,600 Who, Tom? 329 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,100 Well, I'm sure he's fine. 330 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,800 Do not go in there! 331 00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:46,400 I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately. 332 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,700 Do that! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. 333 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,100 I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace. 334 00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:00,400 What're you doing? 335 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,100 I'm sorry, Ron. 336 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,700 What's he doing? 337 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,400 Let's go! 338 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,200 Stop it! 339 00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:14,500 I don't even wanna know why your pants are missing! 340 00:33:14,700 --> 00:33:16,500 You could've cost me my job! 341 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,800 So you found a pebble in Snowflake's tank. I'll call CNN. 342 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,200 I found it in the filter, thank you. 343 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:28,000 And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, triangular cut orange amber. 344 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,300 What're you talking about? 345 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,800 Tonight I saw the same stone in Camp's ring. 346 00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,200 I thought you said Camp didn't do it. 347 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,800 No, his ring wasn't missing a stone. 348 00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:43,100 But whoever was in that tank had a ring just like his. 349 00:33:43,300 --> 00:33:45,200 Ring? What ring? 350 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,200 The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. 351 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,900 I find the ring with a missing stone, I find Snowflake. 352 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,800 How you gonna do that? 353 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,200 Simple. 354 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,400 Loser! 355 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,800 Why don't you learn how to drive, pal? 356 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:17,100 You wanna play? 357 00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,400 Damn it! 358 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,900 That stone could've come from anywhere. 359 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:55,800 It could've come from... 360 00:36:56,100 --> 00:36:59,000 ...a necklace or a pendant, an earring. 361 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:03,600 It came from an '84 AFC championship ring. 362 00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:12,600 Einhorn thinks it may have been an animal-rights group. You know FAN? 363 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:18,000 Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, daughter of industrialist Fisher Gamble? 364 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,200 Over half a million members worldwide? 365 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,400 No. Who are they? 366 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,300 Did you know... 367 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:28,800 ...they sent letters to college teams demanding the release of their mascots? 368 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,600 What do you feed your dog? 369 00:37:32,300 --> 00:37:34,400 Dog food. Why? 370 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,000 He is miserable! 371 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,000 What are you talking about? 372 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,200 He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him. Bad diet, isolated environment. 373 00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:44,600 It's amazing he's still alive. 374 00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:50,800 You're just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn't work out. 375 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,400 You can't express anger. 376 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,300 Yeah? And you're ugly. 377 00:37:57,100 --> 00:38:00,200 I'm not even gonna talk to you. Would you please leave? 378 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,200 Why? So you can beat him? 379 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:03,500 Fatty! 380 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,800 You're unbelievable! 381 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,200 Hiring you was the biggest mistake I ever made. 382 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:11,300 Well, why don't you cry about it, saddlebags? 383 00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:17,800 You like her, huh? 384 00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:20,400 Yeah, she's all right. 385 00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:32,000 Look, Melissa, I... 386 00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:39,900 I'm here at the North Beach Towers condo complex in north Miami... 387 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,800 ...where Roger Podacter, head of operations for the Miami Dolphins... 388 00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:46,200 ...has apparently committed suicide... 389 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:50,200 ...allegedly leaping to his death from his 20th-story balcony... 390 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:00,700 You okay? 391 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,600 I told you. I was in my apartment... 392 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,000 ...across the hall. 393 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,400 I heard a scream... 394 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,600 ...so I called the manager. 395 00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:13,500 The place was empty, except for the dog. 396 00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:16,200 I opened the balcony door and looked out... 397 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:18,600 ...splat, bang, pancake time. 398 00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:21,000 Okay, thank you very much. 399 00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:27,600 Hi there, fella. 400 00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:29,300 Have a bad night? 401 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,400 So... 402 00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,800 ...animals can sense evil. 403 00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:45,900 Who let Dr. Doolittle in? 404 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,700 Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. 405 00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:53,800 This is police business. We'll let you know if the coroner finds a tick. 406 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:57,500 Face it... 407 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,800 Forget it. She's right. 408 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:01,100 Besides... 409 00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:05,800 ...I wouldn't want someone tracing my steps, pointing out my mistakes. 410 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:21,700 So... 411 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,700 ...you don't think this is an obvious suicide, Mr. Pet Detective? 412 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:30,600 I wouldn't say that. There's plenty of evidence here to support your theory. 413 00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:34,200 Except, of course, for that spot of blood on the railing. 414 00:40:39,100 --> 00:40:41,300 May I tell you what I think happened? 415 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:42,900 Alrighty, then! 416 00:40:43,100 --> 00:40:46,800 Roger Podacter went out after work, had a few drinks, then came home. 417 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:50,800 He wasn't alone. Someone else was with him. There was a struggle... 418 00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:53,600 ...and he was thrown over that balcony. 419 00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,400 Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. 420 00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:58,400 He was murdered. 421 00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:02,400 That's a very entertaining story... 422 00:41:02,700 --> 00:41:06,900 ...but real detectives have to worry about that little thing called... 423 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,700 ...evidence. 424 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,100 I think I heard a toilet flush. 425 00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:15,600 Maybe somebody lost a turtle. 426 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,800 Well, I... 427 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,700 I guess I'm out of my league here. 428 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,400 Good work. 429 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,700 There is just one more thing, lieutenant. 430 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:42,500 This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor. 431 00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:45,000 She said she heard a scream. Right? 432 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,200 And you had to open the balcony door when you came in? 433 00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:52,000 - That's true. - You're sure you had to open this door? 434 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,200 I'm certain. 435 00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:55,500 What's the point, Ventura? 436 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,100 Only this. 437 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,200 This is double-paned, soundproof glass. There is no way... 438 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:18,000 ...she could have heard Podacter scream on the way down. 439 00:42:18,300 --> 00:42:20,600 The scream she heard came from inside... 440 00:42:20,900 --> 00:42:25,800 ...before he was thrown off the balcony. The murderer closed the door upon going. 441 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,900 Can you feel that, buddy? 442 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,300 I have exorcized the demons! 443 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,000 This house is clear. 444 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,000 - Losers. - Get him out of here! 445 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,800 - Losers! Losers! - Let's go, Ace. 446 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:50,700 Losers. 447 00:42:53,300 --> 00:42:54,300 Come on. 448 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:56,300 Back to the zoo. 449 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,000 What are you thinking? 450 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,100 This whole thing is connected, somehow. 451 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,300 I want to find that other ring. 452 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,300 Ace, you checked all the rings. 453 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,800 Receipts? What about receipts? 454 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,700 There's gotta be receipts. 455 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:28,200 That was pretty impressive, what you did at the apartment. 456 00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:30,600 You don't have to tell me. 457 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,600 I was there. 458 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:38,500 Maybe you should've joined the police force, become a real detective. 459 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,700 I don't do humans. 460 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,600 You really love animals. 461 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,100 If it gets cold enough. 462 00:43:50,100 --> 00:43:52,700 No, I have a kinship with them. 463 00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:54,400 I understand them. 464 00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,400 Wanna hear something spooky? 465 00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,800 Sure. 466 00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:06,900 One time when I was about 12, I had a dream that I was being followed by... 467 00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:08,900 ...a big dog with rabies. 468 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,100 He had these bloodshot eyes... 469 00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:13,100 ...and foam came out of his mouth. 470 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:18,500 No matter how fast I ran, he just kept gaining on me and gaining on me. 471 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:23,600 Then just before I got to my front door... 472 00:44:23,900 --> 00:44:26,400 ...he jumped and sank his teeth in. 473 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,300 That's when I woke up... 474 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,700 ...and felt the back of my neck. Check that out. 475 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:38,200 Bastard! 476 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,300 I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. 477 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:44,800 Want to know why I do this? 478 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,800 I'm not sure anymore. 479 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,500 You better be sure... 480 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,700 ...because once you get inside my head... 481 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,700 ...there's no turning back. 482 00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:06,300 So... 483 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:10,500 Are these all? There's only a dozen. 484 00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:12,800 Maybe it's in another file, in the back. 485 00:45:13,100 --> 00:45:14,700 Who the hell is that? 486 00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:16,400 What? 487 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:21,700 That. 488 00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:24,300 Who the hell is that? 489 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,400 That's Ray Finkle, the kicker. Don't you know who he is? 490 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:31,900 Why isn't he in this picture? 491 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:41,200 This was taken earlier in the year. Ray Finkle wasn't added till mid-season. 492 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:50,200 He missed the final field goal in the Super Bowl that year. 493 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,100 Cost the Dolphins the game. 494 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:54,700 But he got himself a ring, didn't he? 495 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,300 Definitely. 496 00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:00,400 "Replacement kicker having a great year." 497 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,300 "Ready for Super Bowl, all-star kicker boasts." 498 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,900 "Field goal sails wide, Dolphins lose Super Bowl." 499 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,000 "The kick heard round the world." 500 00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:13,600 That was Finkle. The Dolphins lost by one point. 501 00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:17,600 Poor guy. 502 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,100 Poor guy with a motive, baby. 503 00:46:20,500 --> 00:46:22,000 Where is he now? 504 00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:25,400 I heard he went back to his hometown in Collier County. 505 00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:30,000 Really? 506 00:46:32,100 --> 00:46:34,300 You're gonna drop me off before you go? 507 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,900 No way. You shouldn't be left alone right now. 508 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,800 It might not be safe at your apartment. 509 00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:43,300 What do you suggest? 510 00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:29,300 Oh, my God! 511 00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,800 Oh, my God. 512 00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:35,100 Three times? 513 00:47:35,700 --> 00:47:38,400 I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before. 514 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,000 I must be tired. 515 00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:46,200 Okay, I'm ready again. 516 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,300 I'm looking for Ray Finkle... 517 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,300 ...and a clean pair of shorts. 518 00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:46,500 What do you know about Ray Finkle? 519 00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:51,700 Soccer-style kicker. Graduated from Collier High, 1976. 520 00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:55,700 Stetson University honors graduate, 1980. Holds two NCAA records. 521 00:48:55,900 --> 00:48:57,500 Most points and distance. 522 00:48:57,700 --> 00:49:00,600 Nickname, "The Mule." The only pro athlete from here. 523 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,700 And one hell of a model American. 524 00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:12,200 Are you another one of them Hard Copy guys? 525 00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:13,500 No, sir. 526 00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:15,200 I'm just a big Finkle fan. 527 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,200 This is my Graceland, sir. 528 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:22,200 Will you put that gun down? 529 00:49:22,700 --> 00:49:25,800 The boy is a fan of our son. 530 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,700 So nice to meet you. 531 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,500 I'm Ray's mother... 532 00:49:30,700 --> 00:49:32,400 ...and this is Ray's father. 533 00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:35,000 It's a real honor! 534 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,500 It's an honor to have you here. 535 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,100 My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. 536 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,900 He'll be so pleased you stopped by. 537 00:49:46,100 --> 00:49:48,300 Are you expecting Ray anytime soon? 538 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,200 Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute. 539 00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:55,200 Would you like some cookies? I just baked them. 540 00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:57,100 Yummy! 541 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,500 Ray Finkle's house. 542 00:50:06,900 --> 00:50:08,500 I can't wait to meet him. 543 00:50:11,100 --> 00:50:13,400 Ray ain't coming home. 544 00:50:15,100 --> 00:50:17,300 But your wife expects him any minute. 545 00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:20,100 She expects him home any minute. 546 00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:25,000 See, the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. 547 00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:27,600 Eight years ago... 548 00:50:27,900 --> 00:50:31,900 ...our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital. 549 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,000 And they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff. 550 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:38,900 It was all that Dan Marino's fault. Everyone knows that. 551 00:50:39,300 --> 00:50:42,500 If he'd held the ball laces out, like he's supposed to... 552 00:50:42,700 --> 00:50:45,100 ...Ray wouldn't have missed the kick. 553 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:49,600 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. 554 00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:51,900 Would you like a cookie, son? 555 00:50:54,700 --> 00:50:56,100 What do you know? 556 00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,500 They're little footballs. 557 00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,100 Laces out. 558 00:51:01,700 --> 00:51:04,500 When Ray gets back and starts kicking again... 559 00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:07,100 ...he'll never even know he was gone. 560 00:51:07,300 --> 00:51:10,200 I've kept his room just the way he left it. 561 00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:34,100 Oh, boy! 562 00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:37,100 What a sports nut, huh? 563 00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:49,900 May I? 564 00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:52,200 Oh, yes, by all means. 565 00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:59,000 Five seconds to go here in Super Bowl 17. 566 00:51:59,300 --> 00:52:01,100 Dolphins trailing the 49ers... 567 00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:05,000 ... by one. This will win the game for Miami. 568 00:52:05,300 --> 00:52:07,000 There's the snap. 569 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:08,400 Marino holds. 570 00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:09,900 The kick... 571 00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:12,600 ... and it's high. No, it's... 572 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:13,700 ... no good. 573 00:52:13,900 --> 00:52:17,900 Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal! 574 00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:20,000 I don't believe it! 575 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,900 The Dolphins lose! 576 00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:26,400 The Dolphins lose! The Dolphins lose the Super Bowl! 577 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,400 - Melissa, it's Ace! - Where are you? 578 00:52:30,700 --> 00:52:34,300 I'm in psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor. Where's Marino? 579 00:52:34,500 --> 00:52:35,700 Why? 580 00:52:35,900 --> 00:52:39,100 He's about to join Snowflake. I've gotta know where he is! 581 00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:43,500 He has a commercial shoot at the Bogart Sound Stage. 582 00:52:43,700 --> 00:52:46,800 Call the police. Get extra security over there. Now! 583 00:52:47,100 --> 00:52:49,000 Ace, what's going on? 584 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,200 Thought I left? 585 00:52:55,300 --> 00:52:57,100 I'm really gonna go this time. 586 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,900 Here we go, folks. Very quiet. 587 00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:09,000 Action! 588 00:53:09,300 --> 00:53:13,300 I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows the value of protection, it's me. 589 00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:22,600 So I take care of the hands that take care of me... 590 00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:24,600 ...with Isotoner gloves! 591 00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:26,800 Cut! Again from the top. 592 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,100 I said, cut! 593 00:53:28,300 --> 00:53:29,600 Guys, it's a cut! 594 00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,200 What the hell are they doing? 595 00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,100 That's a cut! 596 00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,700 - What is this, a rewrite? - Shut up! 597 00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:47,600 - Where'd they go? - Over there! 598 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:48,800 Let's go! 599 00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:57,500 Excuse me, gentlemen! 600 00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:58,900 Pet detective! 601 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,600 Come on! 602 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:10,100 What's wrong? 603 00:54:10,300 --> 00:54:11,800 Can't you hit me? 604 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,200 Have there been ransom demands? 605 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,900 There's no communication with the kidnappers. 606 00:54:44,100 --> 00:54:46,100 Will the Super Bowl be postponed? 607 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:47,800 The game is on as scheduled. 608 00:54:48,100 --> 00:54:50,000 Why weren't we told about the kidnapping? 609 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,200 Secrecy was essential. We couldn't risk any interference. 610 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:57,500 - Are the crimes related? - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. 611 00:54:57,700 --> 00:54:59,600 Now, if you'll excuse me... 612 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,900 Get me the autopsy on Podacter! 613 00:55:04,100 --> 00:55:07,000 Aguado, send out a memo: No one talks to the press! 614 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,800 And somebody get me some coffee! 615 00:55:10,100 --> 00:55:13,900 Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss a coffee! 616 00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:19,400 When I get out of that bathroom, you'd better be gone! 617 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,100 Is it number one or number two? 618 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,600 I just wanna know how much time I have. 619 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,600 By the way, I went ahead and solved that... 620 00:55:29,900 --> 00:55:32,800 ...pesky Snowflake-Podacter- Marino thing. 621 00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:37,200 You ever heard of a former Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle? 622 00:55:44,100 --> 00:55:45,900 All right, Ventura... 623 00:55:47,100 --> 00:55:48,300 ...make it quick. 624 00:55:48,700 --> 00:55:51,800 I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. 625 00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:54,700 It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC championship ring. 626 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,100 It would've been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray missed the kick. 627 00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:00,300 Blames the whole thing on Marino. 628 00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:05,200 We're talking paranoid, delusional psychosis. I saw the guy's room. 629 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,700 Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. 630 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,800 So how does Roger Podacter fit in? 631 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:16,100 My guess is, Finkle was snooping around. Podacter recognized him. End of story. 632 00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:20,900 As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's number, taught him how to kick a goal. 633 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:23,000 Finkle took it personally. 634 00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,100 So where is Finkle now? 635 00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:31,800 Busted out of a mental institute. He's been plotting his revenge for years. 636 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,700 Waiting for the perfect time to get back at them. 637 00:56:34,900 --> 00:56:36,800 The time when it'd hurt them most: 638 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,200 Super Bowl time. 639 00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:41,800 Man, I'm tired of being right! 640 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:47,800 Congratulations. 641 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,900 You've done some fine detective work... 642 00:56:53,700 --> 00:56:54,900 ...Ace. 643 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,200 I'm sorry, could you speak into my good ear? 644 00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:01,600 I thought I heard you call me Ace. 645 00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:06,800 Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you are more than just a pet dick. 646 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,600 Your gun is digging into my hip. 647 00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,300 What's wrong? 648 00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,000 Want me to read you your rights? 649 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,600 Maybe later. 650 00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:28,900 What is it? 651 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:30,800 That bony little bitch... 652 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,700 ...Melissa Robinson? 653 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,500 You just don't do anything for me. 654 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,200 Down, boy! 655 00:57:40,300 --> 00:57:43,000 Everything okay in here? I heard some commotion. 656 00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:45,100 Fine, sergeant. 657 00:57:45,500 --> 00:57:47,200 You want me to throw him out? 658 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,500 Why don't you throw yourself out? 659 00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:53,800 Yes, ma'am. 660 00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,000 Ace, I want you to leave everything to us. 661 00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:03,500 I can't do that, lieutenant. I was hired to find Snowflake. 662 00:58:03,700 --> 00:58:05,400 When we find Marino... 663 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,700 ...we'll deliver Snowflake. 664 00:58:07,900 --> 00:58:10,000 When I find Snowflake... 665 00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,200 ...I'll deliver Marino. 666 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:26,600 Melissa, it's Ace! 667 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,700 What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night. 668 00:58:30,500 --> 00:58:32,500 You have to commit me. 669 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:37,100 Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. They still have his stuff. 670 00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:39,600 They aren't gonna let us look around. 671 00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:40,900 I know. 672 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:44,000 It's a good thing I'm a master of disguise. 673 00:58:44,300 --> 00:58:45,300 Mrs. Robinson... 674 00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,700 ...I'm Dr. Handly. 675 00:58:47,900 --> 00:58:50,400 Now who is it you want us to look at? 676 00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,900 My brother... 677 00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:53,700 ...Larry. 678 00:58:57,900 --> 00:59:00,400 I'm ready to go in. Just give me a chance! 679 00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:03,600 I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. 680 00:59:03,900 --> 00:59:05,600 Just gotta stay positive. 681 00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,900 I'm gonna execute a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo. 682 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,200 Let's see that... 683 00:59:40,500 --> 00:59:42,100 ...in an instant replay. 684 00:59:57,500 --> 01:00:00,800 Your brother won't be the first football pro we've treated. 685 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,700 - Is that right? - Yes, we're very sensitive... 686 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,400 ...to the stress athletes have to endure. 687 01:00:06,700 --> 01:00:08,700 I'm open! I'm open! 688 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,200 I'm open! 689 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,500 We'll do some preliminary evaluations... 690 01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,000 ...but I think he'll fit in nicely here. 691 01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,800 Over here! 692 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,700 351! 693 01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,000 351! 694 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,200 Rover, sit! Hut, hut! 695 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:33,400 He seems to have some difficulty letting go of the game. 696 01:00:33,900 --> 01:00:36,000 Has he had a history of mental illness? 697 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,200 As long as I've known him. 698 01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,800 This is one of our therapy rooms. 699 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,100 And we do arts and crafts out here in the courtyard. 700 01:00:48,300 --> 01:00:52,300 And this is the storage room. Down the hallway we have another... 701 01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:54,000 Halftime! 702 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:11,900 He'll be fine there by himself for the next 20 minutes. 703 01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:15,800 I'll show you the dormitories, then. 704 01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:29,300 Isotoners. 705 01:02:48,700 --> 01:02:51,100 Obsess much? 706 01:02:52,700 --> 01:02:54,300 Where are you going? 707 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,600 - To clean the storage room. - No, clean the cafeteria. 708 01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:59,900 I don't tell you how to do your job. 709 01:03:00,100 --> 01:03:01,700 The schedule says... 710 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,400 ...clean the cafeteria. - I know what I'm doing. 711 01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:05,900 You should've done it earlier. 712 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:09,400 Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass! I'm cleaning in here! 713 01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,700 You take breaks too long. You smoke... 714 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,200 Man, you're a pain in the ass! 715 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,500 "Search called off for missing hiker." 716 01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,700 "A search ended today when rescue workers... 717 01:03:42,900 --> 01:03:46,500 ...were unable to find the body of Lois Einhorn." 718 01:03:48,100 --> 01:03:50,300 A hiker missing since Friday? 719 01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:52,100 Lois Einhorn? 720 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:56,100 Holy shitballs! 721 01:04:09,900 --> 01:04:12,700 What're you doing out here? Get back to work! 722 01:04:41,900 --> 01:04:43,100 "Love, Roger"? 723 01:04:51,700 --> 01:04:52,900 Ace, it's E. 724 01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:56,300 You think the article you found was something? 725 01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:59,000 I got a note from Roger to Einhorn... 726 01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:01,600 ... thanking her for a wonderful evening. 727 01:05:01,900 --> 01:05:04,500 Something ain't stirring the Kool-Aid, man. 728 01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:06,600 Wiggles, rewind. 729 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:14,100 What the hell does Lois Einhorn have to do with Ray Finkle? 730 01:05:15,900 --> 01:05:17,500 Come on, think! 731 01:05:17,700 --> 01:05:20,900 Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. How? Why? 732 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,600 All right! Here we go. 733 01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:33,000 Answer's right there! Just gotta get blood to the brain! 734 01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,300 Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn! 735 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:38,900 Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn! 736 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,400 Quitter! 737 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,400 What do you want? 738 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,500 I don't have any food for you. 739 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,700 I have to have money to buy food. 740 01:06:05,900 --> 01:06:09,300 I have to have a dolphin to get money. Do you see a dolphin here? 741 01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:19,000 Let's face it... 742 01:06:19,300 --> 01:06:21,300 ...your master is a loser. 743 01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,400 What the? 744 01:06:42,300 --> 01:06:44,200 That's it. 745 01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,000 That's it! 746 01:06:48,300 --> 01:06:50,700 Einhorn is Finkle. 747 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:53,400 Finkle is Einhorn! 748 01:06:53,700 --> 01:06:56,000 Einhorn is a man! 749 01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,500 Oh, my God! 750 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,600 Einhorn is a man! 751 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,500 "Your gun is digging into my hip." 752 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:03,900 God! 753 01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:10,000 And the big story in this Super Bowl game is the abduction... 754 01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:13,400 ... of Miami's starting quarterback, Dan Marino. 755 01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,700 It's gotta be a strain on this Miami team, Bob... 756 01:08:55,100 --> 01:08:58,600 What's the matter, Dan? Aren't you having fun? 757 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:02,600 I just love Super Bowl Sunday. Don't you, Dan? 758 01:09:02,900 --> 01:09:05,200 A magical afternoon... 759 01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,800 ...where dreams are made... 760 01:09:08,900 --> 01:09:10,400 ...and crushed. 761 01:09:10,700 --> 01:09:14,200 Look, if you want tickets, you're going about it the wrong way. 762 01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:19,300 Do I look familiar to you? Does it seem as if we've... 763 01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:21,700 ...met someplace before? 764 01:09:22,100 --> 01:09:24,700 I don't know. I get hit in the head a lot. 765 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:27,400 Now the coin toss. 766 01:09:28,100 --> 01:09:29,400 Kickoff time. 767 01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:32,000 My favorite thing. 768 01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:40,200 Laces out! 769 01:09:59,500 --> 01:10:03,000 I made some refreshments, Dan. 770 01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:06,800 Would you like some refreshments, Dan? 771 01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,000 I'll be right back, Dan. 772 01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:44,400 I don't know how much psycho-woman's paying you, but I'll double it. 773 01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,800 Sorry. "Psycho-woman" keeps us out of prison. 774 01:10:48,900 --> 01:10:50,800 Snowflake, here you go. Come on. 775 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,700 Check it out, Marino. 776 01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:55,200 I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. 777 01:11:05,700 --> 01:11:06,500 Damn! 778 01:11:06,700 --> 01:11:08,500 Go get some more fish! 779 01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:10,400 I'm gonna kill that dolphin. 780 01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:13,300 Lovely party. 781 01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:15,300 Pity I wasn't invited. 782 01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:29,900 Where the hell's the smelt? 783 01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:40,900 Unconscious. Exactly as I planned. 784 01:11:48,600 --> 01:11:50,100 What the hell was that? 785 01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,300 Shit! 786 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:11,000 What happened? What's going on? 787 01:12:11,300 --> 01:12:12,200 You okay? 788 01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:13,800 Guess what? 789 01:12:14,300 --> 01:12:15,300 It's naptime! 790 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,400 What a hit! 791 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:23,700 Heads up! 792 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:31,100 Who are you? 793 01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,800 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I've been sent with a special play: 794 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:37,700 The quarterback sneak. 795 01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:39,600 Penalty! 796 01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:43,000 Too many men on the field. 797 01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:45,600 I warned you, Ventura. 798 01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:47,900 Whatever happened to "Ace"? 799 01:12:48,100 --> 01:12:49,900 Good question. 800 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:55,000 Be careful with that phone. In time, you could develop a tumor. 801 01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:57,900 Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. 802 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:01,900 Send some men over to the Hallandale yacht basin. 803 01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:04,600 I've got the kidnapper trapped in the warehouse. 804 01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,700 It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 805 01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:14,600 Code 11 in progress, 343 Victorville Road... 806 01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:16,400 ... at the Palmdale basin. 807 01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:19,900 Officer needs backup. Suspect's name: Ace Ventura... 808 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:22,700 ... should be considered armed and dangerous. 809 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,100 It's Ace. We gotta break out of here. 810 01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,100 Is he in trouble? 811 01:13:30,300 --> 01:13:32,800 Don't worry, if there's one thing I know... 812 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:35,200 ...there's nothing Ace can't handle. 813 01:13:35,900 --> 01:13:38,100 Don't kill me! 814 01:13:39,700 --> 01:13:41,400 Please! 815 01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:44,200 I'll never tell anyone, I swear. 816 01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:46,800 - He's who you want! Kill him! - Kill him! 817 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,800 Kill him! He held the ball, remember? 818 01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,600 Come on, look at him! 819 01:13:51,900 --> 01:13:53,100 - Crybaby! - Jock! 820 01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:54,300 - Wimp. - Musclehead. 821 01:13:54,500 --> 01:13:56,000 Shut up! 822 01:13:56,300 --> 01:14:00,700 I think I'll kill the dolphin first. I wouldn't want you to miss that. 823 01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:03,000 And there's the snap. 824 01:14:03,300 --> 01:14:04,200 The kick! 825 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:06,500 And it's good! 826 01:14:06,700 --> 01:14:09,600 Good to see somebody who doesn't buckle under the pressure! 827 01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:19,000 What would you know about pressure? 828 01:14:19,300 --> 01:14:21,800 Well, I have kissed a man. 829 01:14:22,700 --> 01:14:27,200 Of course, there's never been a more crucial kick in a Super Bowl... 830 01:14:27,500 --> 01:14:29,700 ... than the "kick heard around the world." 831 01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:35,300 I mean, it's clear to me that it was a good hold. Finkle just booted it. 832 01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:37,900 The laces were in! 833 01:14:38,300 --> 01:14:40,000 They were in! 834 01:15:00,200 --> 01:15:01,900 You like that? 835 01:15:02,100 --> 01:15:03,300 You like that? 836 01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:10,700 And that! And that! 837 01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:23,600 Having a little trouble with the lady? 838 01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:25,500 You don't understand... 839 01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:26,900 ...she's a... 840 01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:31,900 Get him, Lois! Get him! 841 01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:37,200 Get him! 842 01:15:43,900 --> 01:15:44,900 Shoot him! 843 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,000 - Shoot him! - Hold your fire! 844 01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:52,000 Don't shoot! 845 01:15:52,200 --> 01:15:54,400 Put your guns down, or this cop gets it! 846 01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:56,700 I mean it! 847 01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:59,300 She's not joking! 848 01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,100 He kidnapped Snowflake! 849 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:05,900 He killed Roger Podacter and was about to kill Marino and me! 850 01:16:08,800 --> 01:16:11,300 Fiction can be fun! 851 01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:14,500 But I find the reference section much more enlightening. 852 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,100 For instance... 853 01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:17,600 ...if you look up... 854 01:16:17,900 --> 01:16:22,300 ...professional football's all-time bonehead plays... 855 01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:26,300 ...you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle... 856 01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:31,200 ...who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl 17. 857 01:16:34,100 --> 01:16:37,900 You wouldn't read that Finkle was committed to a mental hospital... 858 01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:41,400 ...only to escape and join the police... 859 01:16:41,700 --> 01:16:44,900 ...in a scheme to get even with Marino... 860 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,300 ...whom he blamed for the entire thing! 861 01:16:48,700 --> 01:16:50,500 What are you talking about? 862 01:16:50,700 --> 01:16:54,900 She's not Lois Einhorn! She's Ray Finkle! She's a man! 863 01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,200 He's lying! 864 01:16:56,400 --> 01:16:57,700 Shoot him! 865 01:17:00,900 --> 01:17:04,000 Let's just see who's lying, shall we? 866 01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:08,200 Would a real woman have to wear one of these? 867 01:17:14,200 --> 01:17:16,300 Boy, that's really on there! 868 01:17:16,900 --> 01:17:18,600 But tell me this: 869 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,400 Would a real woman... 870 01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:22,800 ...be missing these? 871 01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:31,200 That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend. 872 01:17:31,700 --> 01:17:33,500 But I doubt very much... 873 01:17:34,100 --> 01:17:37,800 ...if he could find the time during his busy schedule... 874 01:17:38,100 --> 01:17:39,400 ...to get rid of... 875 01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:40,700 ...big old... 876 01:17:40,900 --> 01:17:42,500 ...Mr. Knish! 877 01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:51,900 Oh, boy! 878 01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:56,100 Come here. 879 01:17:56,900 --> 01:17:59,800 Would you excuse me for just one second? 880 01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:09,800 Ladies and gentlemen... 881 01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:13,300 ...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino... 882 01:18:14,300 --> 01:18:16,300 ...brought new evidence to my attention. 883 01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:17,500 Now... 884 01:18:17,900 --> 01:18:21,800 ...history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive... 885 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:24,900 ...criminal investigator can be wrong. 886 01:18:25,100 --> 01:18:27,100 But if I am mistaken... 887 01:18:27,500 --> 01:18:30,500 ...if the lieutenant is indeed a woman... 888 01:18:30,700 --> 01:18:33,000 ...as she claims to be... 889 01:18:33,300 --> 01:18:34,400 ...then, my friend... 890 01:18:34,700 --> 01:18:39,300 ...she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen! 891 01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:43,100 That's why Roger Podacter is dead! 892 01:18:43,300 --> 01:18:45,800 He found Captain Winkie! 893 01:18:55,100 --> 01:18:56,100 Good night! 894 01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:59,900 You've been a wonderful audience. Be sure to tip your waitress. 895 01:19:04,900 --> 01:19:06,900 Die, animal boy! 896 01:19:07,700 --> 01:19:09,100 Quick decision. 897 01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:32,600 Loser! 898 01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:41,000 You have any more gum? 899 01:19:41,300 --> 01:19:45,600 That's none of your damn business. Stay out of my personal affairs. 900 01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:49,000 You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy. 901 01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:52,900 Ladies and gentlemen... 902 01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:55,000 ... the Miami Dolphins are proud... 903 01:19:55,200 --> 01:19:58,000 ... to welcome back to Joe Robbie Stadium... 904 01:19:58,200 --> 01:19:59,900 ... our beloved mascot... 905 01:20:00,100 --> 01:20:02,900 ... and the star of our halftime show: 906 01:20:03,100 --> 01:20:04,900 Snowflake! 907 01:20:11,900 --> 01:20:13,500 And now... 908 01:20:13,700 --> 01:20:17,400 ... returning for the second half, the Dolphins' most valuable player... 909 01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:20,200 ... Dan Marino! 910 01:21:06,300 --> 01:21:07,100 Idiot! 911 01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:13,100 Do you know what you've done? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. 912 01:21:13,300 --> 01:21:15,300 Yeah? Blow me! 913 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,300 Really? 914 01:21:33,700 --> 01:21:35,300 The National Football League... 915 01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:40,300 ... would like to offer a special thank- you to the man who rescued Dan Marino... 916 01:21:40,500 --> 01:21:42,000 ... and our beloved Snowflake. 917 01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,200 A great humanitarian... 918 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:46,500 ... and a lover of all animals: 919 01:21:46,900 --> 01:21:49,900 Mr. Ace Ventura! 920 01:21:51,900 --> 01:21:53,400 Get off me! 921 01:21:54,700 --> 01:21:56,400 Get off me! 922 01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:05,700 Tone, put that big-ass size 13 on and kick it for the homies. 923 01:25:40,600 --> 01:25:41,600 English Subtitles by GELULA & CO., INC. 67375

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.