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1
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(TlCKlNG)
2
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MALE RADlO ANNOUNCER:
Last week, Flash Gordon
3
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,970
defended the Witch Queen Azura
4
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,354
from the attack of the Death dwarfs.
5
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Paul, having proclaimed himself
King of Blue Magic Land
6
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,598
offered John the Hawkman
the command of the army...
7
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(DlSTORTED CHATTERlNG)
8
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(PAUL THE DOG BARKS)
9
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(SNlFFlNG)
10
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(WHlMPERlNG)
11
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(BARKlNG)
12
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YOUNG TARA: Go on, then, Paul.
13
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Don't be long.
14
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,395
(PAUL THE DOG BARKlNG)
15
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YOUNG TARA: Paul?
16
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(HlGH-PlTCHED BEEPlNG)
17
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Paul?
18
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,333
Paul.
19
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,462
(PAUL THE DOG YELPS)
20
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,765
(PUNK ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
21
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,228
(GRUNTlNG)
22
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,567
(BOTH SCOFFlNG)
23
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,629
(GRUNTlNG)
24
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,921
(WAR CRY)
25
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,970
(ALL CHEERlNG)
26
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,431
-He winked at me! He winked at me!
-Whoo!
27
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,835
l love it here.
28
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,005
You know, it feels so...
29
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,764
-Right.
-Yeah.
30
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,716
We're 5,339 miles from home
31
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,267
and yet, somehow, l feel like we belong.
32
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,271
l know what you mean.
33
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:52,023
l think this is probably
the most fun l have ever had.
34
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,437
l'm so glad we came, Clive.
35
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,319
Clive?
36
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,069
-May l?
-Be my guest.
37
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,327
-Thank you.
-l was over there, on my own.
38
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,289
That there is the Black Vampire.
39
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,753
Watch out.
40
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,999
She bites.
41
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080
How much?
42
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,875
$1 ,349.99.
43
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:14,879
Aren't you gonna get it?
44
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,963
(SPEAKlNG KLlNGON)
45
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,088
Fair enough.
46
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,141
l can't believe we're gonna
meet Adam Shadowchild.
47
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,759
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) l know.
He's, like, the coolest man in the world.
48
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,812
Thank you.
49
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,519
Come forth. Welcome, my friends.
50
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,185
l just wanted to say that the Planet Fall
trilogy has been a huge influence
51
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,363
on me and on my work.
52
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,942
Don't tell me. You're a writer.
53
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,664
-l am, yeah.
-Well, good.
54
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:43,449
He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1 992.
55
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,583
For best science fiction short story
by a male under 1 6.
56
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,662
-l'm working on a follow-up.
-Oh.
57
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,827
Oh, l'd love to see that.
58
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,115
Not today.
59
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,998
No, no. lt's a legal thing.
60
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,375
l'm sure it's good.
61
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,302
That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.
62
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,338
Awesome.
63
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,926
-That was Graeme, my illustrator.
-l'm an artist.
64
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,061
l'm hoping to complete it soon.
65
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,269
l'm just having a bit of trouble
with the ending.
66
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,016
Well, a wise man said,
67
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,065
"You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."
68
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,980
Who said that?
69
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,398
l did. l just said that.
70
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,861
MALE SECURlTY GUARD:
Move along, please, guys.
71
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:21,946
Yes.
72
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,820
-Very nice to meet you.
-No, no...
73
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,157
Thank you.
74
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,294
-You bought a book?
-No.
75
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,871
Then fuck off.
76
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,496
Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.
77
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,173
-Okay, ready.
-Ready.
78
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,295
-(EXCLAlMS)
-(CLlCKS)
79
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,210
(ROMANTlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)
80
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,587
GRAEME: Yes.
81
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,926
Yes.
82
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,012
-ls that the RV place?
-Yes.
83
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,308
And there's definitely two single beds?
84
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,644
Because there's been
a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.
85
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,729
Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.
86
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,734
And have a nice day to you, as well.
87
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,108
-ls it here?
-lt's in the car park.
88
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,525
l think you mean "the parking lot."
89
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,953
(lN FORCED AMERlCAN ACCENT) l sure do.
90
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,317
l did my American voice.
91
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,869
(SlGHS)
92
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,661
lt's amazing, isn't it?
We're actually here. America.
93
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,330
Huh?
94
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,955
How long have we dreamt about this?
95
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,882
-Since we were kids.
-Yeah.
96
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,586
Now look at us. Grown men.
97
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,672
(DOORBELL BUZZlNG)
98
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,217
BOTH: Pizza!
99
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,841
-Hi!
-Hiya!
100
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,354
-Good evening, sir.
-Come on in.
101
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,175
-Where can l set this down?
-You could put it on the bed.
102
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:34,939
You guys on honeymoon?
103
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,060
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
104
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,396
No.
105
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,316
No, silly. We're just friends.
106
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,820
GRAEME: We had a mix-up.
The reservations were messed up.
107
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,903
Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.
108
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,284
-Ah, going on a road trip?
-Yeah. Yes.
109
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,946
What better way to follow Comic-Con
110
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,206
than a tour ofAmerica's
most famous UFO hotspots?
111
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,539
Huh?
112
00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,708
We're going to Area 51
and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,
113
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,877
then down to Camp Verde,
then to Apache Junction
114
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:08,175
and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico
for the site of the famous crash of '47.
115
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,601
-No.
-Everybody knows that.
116
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,179
Stop it! lt's an alleged site at this point.
117
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,425
Why would they admit there was a crash,
118
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,677
if the crash happened somewhere else?
119
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,308
BOTH: Let's just agree to disagree, all right?
120
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,555
That's what we always say at the end.
121
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,017
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
122
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,073
Do you believe in aliens?
123
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,490
What do you mean, "aliens"?
124
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,203
(BUZZlNG LlPS)
125
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,830
l'll sign that check, shall l?
126
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,330
Get that out of your way.
Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.
127
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,584
(BOTH SlGHlNG)
128
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,496
We should turn in.
We got an early start in the morning.
129
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,835
Yeah.
130
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,210
What do you think
you're gonna dream about?
131
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:47,168
Oh, the open road. High adventure.
That kind of thing.
132
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,259
Mmm.
133
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,473
-You?
-Wonder Woman.
134
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,354
-Please don't.
-Okay.
135
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,099
-You ready?
-Yeah.
136
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,563
Okay. And...
137
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,443
BOTH: Three, two, one.
138
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,186
What an amazing Con.
139
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,856
That, my friend, was just the beginning.
140
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,243
Here you go.
141
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,494
That's not ours.
142
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:13,696
No?
143
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,365
No. That's ours.
144
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,853
(HORN HONKlNG)
145
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,681
Fucking orcs!
146
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,487
(BOTH GRUNTlNG)
147
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,499
That one.
148
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,166
(GROANlNG)
149
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,495
(GRUNTlNG)
150
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,836
CLlVE: Oh.
151
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,382
GRAEME: Oh! People!
152
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,853
(THUNDER RUMBLlNG)
153
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,769
GRAEME: Smile.
154
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,185
(CLlCKS)
155
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,686
"Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?
156
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,317
(ROCK AND ROLL MUSlC PLAYlNG)
157
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,613
"Alien on board," please.
158
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,566
Okay. lf you're sure.
159
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,292
So, how was Comic-Con?
160
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,123
We met Adam Shadowchild.
161
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,455
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
162
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,710
Oh, hewrote The Venusian Pangenesis.
163
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,043
l didn't read that one.
164
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,047
Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?
165
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,129
No.
166
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,424
The Robot's Mistress?
167
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,717
l like romances.
168
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,300
That's kind of a romance.
169
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,925
-Between a woman and a machine?
-Yeah.
170
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,722
l hear that. (LAUGHlNG)
171
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,176
(CHUCKLES)
172
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,310
Do you get a lot of UFO types around here?
173
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,097
Some.
174
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,401
Do you believe?
175
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,284
Oh, yes, l do.
176
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,318
Been a lot of strange happenings
in these parts.
177
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:18,077
Ah, it'd be a shame
if we were the only souls in the universe.
178
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,834
Probability alone suggests not.
179
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,582
You know, there are 200 billion galaxies
in the observable universe.
180
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,543
Oh.
181
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,036
Makes you think, doesn't it?
182
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,668
BOTH: What?
183
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,921
Where is everybody?
184
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,012
-Boo!
-(BOTH YELL)
185
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,255
-Oh.
-(PAT LAUGHS)
186
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,848
Gotcha.
187
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,773
So, you fellows set
or can l get you something else?
188
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,942
Oh, l think l would like
a refill of coffee, please, Pat.
189
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,061
All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?
190
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,898
Can l have an E.T. Malt, please?
191
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,784
Mmm. You want that with a sparkler?
192
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,029
-Yeah.
-(LAUGHS)
193
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,284
l will take that as a yes.
194
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,735
l think l might do a toilet.
195
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:04,962
(CLlVE LAUGHlNG)
196
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,460
Pretty funny.
197
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,381
He's sitting right there on top of that bull,
198
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,804
and he goes, "(STAMMERlNG) Cut her loose."
199
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,222
What?
200
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,097
l don't know you.
201
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,397
Ooh.
202
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,900
Comics.
203
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,821
JAKE: What was that about?
204
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,820
How you think that makes me feel?
205
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,070
Be rude to me?
206
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,696
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
207
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,115
Ooh! Eggy,
208
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,043
an alien just sicked up in my palms.
209
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,251
Clive...
210
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,621
CLlVE: (LAUGHlNG) What?
211
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,917
-l'm joking.
-Stop it.
212
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,960
They've got a soap dispenser in there
shaped like an alien's head. lt's brilliant!
213
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,245
-(WHlSPERlNG) Someone's here.
-What?
214
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,378
PAT: Here it comes!
215
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,795
(PAT MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP ENGlNE)
216
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,385
(LAUGHS)
217
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,550
What in...
218
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,851
Hey, fellas! How you doing today?
219
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,437
What is this, some kind of gay bar?
220
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,693
No. Just a place
where you can get a bite to eat
221
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,525
and maybe share a close encounter.
222
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,570
Yeah. lt sounds like a gay bar.
223
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,487
(LAUGHS) Oh, no, we're just friends.
224
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,540
PAT: So, you guys look like
you could do with a couple beers.
225
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,989
You go do that.
226
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,909
All right. You do that.
227
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:30,831
Yes.
228
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,377
Get a sip. l'll get this.
229
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,210
GRAEME: Just leave it.
230
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,955
CLlVE: Thank you very much.
231
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,297
-What are you doing?
-(GRAEME CLEARS THROAT)
232
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,297
Don't you put those queer eyes on me.
233
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,849
l'm not. l forgot the sticker.
234
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,306
What took you so long?
235
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,312
-l was putting the sticker on.
-Oh.
236
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,694
They were an odd pair, weren't they?
237
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,770
Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.
238
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,027
l doubt very much
we'll be seeing them again.
239
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,400
-(CRASH)
-Oh!
240
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,489
-That wasn't their truck, was it?
-No.
241
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,323
-Should l go and have a look?
-No!
242
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,798
The Black Mailbox.
243
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,009
CLlVE: Wow!
244
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,595
This is probably the coolest thing
l've ever seen.
245
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,471
Do you remember when we Googled it
on your mum's computer
246
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,268
and the phone rang
and you thought it was the FBl?
247
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,191
l didn't really think it was the FBl.
248
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,270
-You started crying.
-l had jet lag.
249
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,645
We'd only been to Brussels.
250
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,822
Go stand next to it. Yep.
251
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,690
Smile.
252
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,027
(CLlCKS)
253
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,782
Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.
254
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,485
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
255
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,195
lt just hovers over us
256
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:51,035
and then all the coins in our pockets
go magnetic, and then we get sunburned.
257
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,412
Then it just goes up really quickly.
258
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,830
(MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP FLYlNG)
259
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,883
(MlMlCKlNG SPACESHlP DlSAPPEARlNG)
260
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,884
Smile!
261
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:01,965
(CLlCKS)
262
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,385
What would you do if they actually landed?
263
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,390
Well, first contact
is a big responsibility, isn't it?
264
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,563
They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh.
265
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,813
That's not how l roll.
266
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,104
-No.
-(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
267
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,227
(HORN HONKlNG)
268
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,693
What's that?
269
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,200
Do you think that's those men?
270
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,081
No.
271
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,042
We've seen enough.
272
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,496
Let's go.
273
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,002
Go, go, go!
274
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,092
(HORN HONKlNG)
275
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,054
Oh, they're gaining.
276
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,341
This is like Deliverance!
277
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,094
They're going to rape us and break our arms!
278
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,546
l don't want my arms broken!
279
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,349
-l need the toilet.
-You've just been!
280
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,641
You know l've got a child's bladder.
281
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,774
(HORN CONTlNUES HONKlNG)
282
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,400
Don't let them get past!
283
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,559
-What do you want me to do, ram them?
-What about the deposit?
284
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,438
-lt's not them! lt's not them!
-Ah!
285
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,989
-Oh, my God.
-(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
286
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:07,911
-That was awful!
-(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
287
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,371
That was terrifying!
288
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,914
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
289
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,093
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
290
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,393
(EXHALES)
291
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,767
(RV DOOR OPENS)
292
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:36,979
(RV DOOR CLOSES)
293
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,561
(BOTH COUGHlNG)
294
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,825
GRAEME: Hello?
295
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,060
-(WHlSPERS) Maybe you should call for help.
-Yeah.
296
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,181
(DlALlNG)
297
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,641
lt's ringing.
298
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,188
PAUL: l wouldn't do that if l were you.
299
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,731
(BOTH GASP)
300
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,862
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
301
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,529
(GULPS)
302
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,867
Put the phone down.
303
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,207
(LAUGHS)
304
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,371
Oh, fuck me.
305
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,339
-What have you done to him?
-l didn't do anything to him. He fainted.
306
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,920
(STAMMERlNG) Yeah, but you made him faint!
307
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,335
Yes. But it's not like
l set my phaser to "Faint." (CHUCKLES)
308
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,594
You've got a phaser?
309
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,505
No, l don't... Look! Listen.
310
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,974
Hey, l really need your help, okay?
311
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,755
Can we get this guy back onto your wagon?
312
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,468
(STAMMERlNG)
313
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,602
Are you an alien?
314
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,273
To you, l am, yes.
315
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,524
Are you gonna probe us?
316
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,685
Why does everyone always assume that?
317
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,364
What am l doing? Am l harvesting farts?
How much can l learn from an ass?
318
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,494
(STAMMERlNG) What?
319
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,574
l'm sorry. What's your name?
320
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,156
lt's Graeme Willy.
321
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,661
And what's his name?
322
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,162
That's the writer, Clive Gollings.
323
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,834
Okay, cool! l'm Paul.
324
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,202
Paul?
325
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,328
Yeah. lt's a nickname that stuck.
326
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,665
My ship crashed on a dog. lt doesn't matter!
327
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,881
Look! Can we get the writer,
Clive Gollings, back on the RV
328
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,422
and get the hell out of here, please?
329
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,415
-l can't...
-l'm in a hell of a pickle,
330
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,757
and if you don't help me,
l could die on this road tonight.
331
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,391
l don't know.
We're on quite a tight schedule.
332
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:40,434
(SlGHS) Look, man.
Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
333
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,518
What do you say?
334
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,284
-Okay.
-Okay! Perfect! Great!
335
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,363
Okay, help me grab him.
336
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,204
This man has peed his pants.
337
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,119
Yeah, he's got a child's bladder.
338
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,581
Oh, fantastic.
339
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,144
Doesn't this thing go any faster?
340
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,226
Well, l'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so...
341
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,483
Screw the speed limit! Actually, no.
Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it.
342
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,647
That's good thinking. Okay?
Stay inconspicuous. That's good.
343
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,197
How come l can understand you?
344
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,450
Are you using some sort of
neural language router?
345
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,202
Actually, l'm speaking English,
you fucking idiot.
346
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,657
-That's not nice.
-That was mean.
347
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:44,156
Look, l'm little tense.
l was just involved in a major car crash.
348
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,368
That was your fault.
349
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,918
l can't reach the pedals.
My legs are too little.
350
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,302
l had to use the parking brake, okay?
351
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,302
l'm sorry. You're in shock right now.
352
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,141
l understand this must be
very weird for you.
353
00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:01,260
Just act normal and drive north, okay?
354
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,943
We gotta get as much distance as we can
between us and the Big Guy.
355
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,006
(LlCKS)
356
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,092
(SPlTS)
357
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,477
WOMAN ON RADlO:
Zoil? What's happening?
358
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,733
-He's gone.
-Shit!
359
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,993
ZOIL: Looks like he hitched a ride, too.
360
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,820
-What do you mean?
-Tire tracks.
361
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,485
Bastard jacked a native?
362
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,743
Could be two.
363
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,235
Don't you think this is all
a bit of a coincidence?
364
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,907
Are you suggesting he knew?
365
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,616
Little fucker might have phoned home.
366
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,751
There might even be a rescue party
on the way.
367
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,424
Zoil, we need to break out the big guns.
368
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,455
Do you think that that's wise?
The last thing we need is
369
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,799
a hoo-ha.
370
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,469
WOMAN: Maybe you're right.
371
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,852
Listen, l got two rookies on a special mission
75 clicks north of you.
372
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,431
l'll have them set up a roadblock.
373
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,806
These are just civilians.
Why don't you let me take care of it?
374
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,443
You might need the extra muscle.
375
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,357
Just keep them in the dark.
l don't want any loose ends.
376
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,441
These roads can be treacherous at night.
377
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,155
People get into accidents all the time.
378
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,910
l like your thinking. Get it done.
379
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,788
Heads up. We just got reassigned.
380
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,090
Nice.
381
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,922
What about the sandwich?
382
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,757
-She said we can share it.
-Oh, l love this job.
383
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:00,932
Mmm-hmm.
384
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,140
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO)
385
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,351
(URlNATlNG)
386
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,018
(SNlFFlNG)
387
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,477
(PAUL SlGHS lN RELlEF)
388
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,516
(PAUL EXHALES)
389
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,529
(TOlLET FLUSHlNG)
390
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:22,157
-(DOOR OPENS)
-PAUL: Man, l needed that.
391
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,212
l love pistachios.
392
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,079
l hate it when you get a closed one, right?
393
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:34,576
GRAEME: l usually just bite them.
394
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:35,998
PAUL: No. You don't do that at all.
395
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,417
You tap them, if they don't open
on their own, you throw them away.
396
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,006
GRAEME: No, that's mussels.
397
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,131
No, it's pistachios.
398
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,430
-What the fuck?
-Clive, stop it! What are you doing?
399
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,552
What are you?
400
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,558
(SPEAKlNG KLlNGON)
401
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,230
He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly.
His name's Paul.
402
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,519
(GASPlNG FOR BREATH)
403
00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,444
Aliens aren't called "Paul."
404
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,772
Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd!
405
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,278
Paul is from a small M-class planet
406
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,991
in the northern spiral arm
of the Andromeda Galaxy.
407
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,242
Thank you.
408
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,573
He looks too obvious.
409
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,658
There's a reason for that, Clive.
410
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:11,703
Over the last 60 years the human race
has been drip-fed images of my face
411
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,999
on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit.
412
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,463
lt's in case our species do meet,
you don't have a fucking spaz attack!
413
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,955
l did not have a spaz attack!
414
00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,546
-GRAEME: Don't do it again!
-That's my fucking jorph.
415
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:24,972
Get your fucking fingers out of there!
lf l get a jorph infection, you're dead!
416
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,142
-Oh, my God! (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
-Oh, shit!
417
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,137
Paul.
418
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,517
Paul?
419
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:38,860
O'RElLLY: Okay, okay. This could be it.
So, what are we looking for, again?
420
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,111
HAGGARD: l don't know.
421
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,239
-What brings you to USA?
-We're on holiday.
422
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,701
We've been to Comic-Con.
423
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:52,077
-HAGGARD: Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly.
-(SNlFFlNG)
424
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,503
-He loves that dweeb shit.
-Oh.
425
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:56,329
You guys know Benny Hill?
426
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,751
-No.
-No.
427
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,417
O'RElLLY: Oh, my God! Look at this!
428
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,625
-What?
-Look at this!
429
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,085
HAGGARD: What?
430
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,130
These guys have met Adam Shadowchild.
431
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,972
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
432
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,136
Hewrote The Jupiter Praxis.
433
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,515
What?
434
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,640
Jenny Starpepper
and the Huge White Gibbon?
435
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:15,727
Huh?
436
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,021
Night of the Moths?
437
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:19,614
Are you speaking English?
What are you talking about?
438
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,190
Brilliant! What was he like?
439
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,686
He was a bit intense.
440
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,277
Well, he's an artist.
441
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:28,492
Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn?
442
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,704
-No, that's Clive's...
-lt's my novel.
443
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:31,954
Okay.
444
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,826
Ha. Three tits. That's awesome.
445
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,499
You guys should have given her four tits.
446
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,422
That's just sick.
447
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:40,883
l was just saying.
448
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,205
Hey, do you think this is it?
449
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,877
Doubtful. What else did you find in there?
450
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:46,875
Not much. Just some pissy jeans.
451
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,465
-Clive's got a child's...
-Shut up.
452
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,603
Sorry.
453
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:53,518
-Okay. You guys can go.
-BOTH: Thank you.
454
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,059
Can l have my... Thank you very much.
455
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,023
May l ask what you're searching for?
456
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,563
No.
457
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,820
CLlVE: Thank you. Come on, Graeme.
458
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,449
(LAUGHS) Way to go, Dirty Harry!
459
00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:10,622
That was all right, right?
460
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,329
-All right? That was great energy, man.
-Yeah. lt was. (GROANS lN DlSGUST)
461
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,870
That's it... (GROANS) ls right.
lt was like... (EXCLAlMS) Not... (GROANS)
462
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,155
-l thought it was okay.
-No, you're thinking about it too much.
463
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:21,249
-You think so? Mmm-hmm.
-Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots.
464
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,724
l think it's pretty obvious
what happened there, isn't it?
465
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,470
ls it?
466
00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:32,602
The government used some kind of
neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox.
467
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,890
lt caused us to suffer
a shared hallucination about an alien.
468
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,265
lt makes complete sense.
469
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:38,766
-PAUL: Wrong!
-(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
470
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,310
-Oh!
-(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
471
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,534
-(YAWNlNG)
-(MlMlCKlNG LASER GUN FlRlNG)
472
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:48,110
Your dick is gone.
473
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,315
Hmm. Your balls are gone.
474
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:50,655
-(MlMlCS FARTlNG)
-(MlMlCS WHOOSHlNG)
475
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,164
Oh, no!
476
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,874
PAUL: What?
477
00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,452
Come on, grow up.
You guys seen my shorts?
478
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,498
How did you do that?
How did you go invisible?
479
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,673
Oh, it's a camouflage response.
480
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:03,921
What, like, Predator?
481
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,133
Exactly! Although l can only do it
while l'm holding my breath.
482
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,593
But you can do it any time you want?
483
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:09,005
(MlMlCKlNG PREDATOR) Any time.
484
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,091
(LAUGHS)
485
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,625
-(MlMlCS MACHlNE MOVEMENT)
-GRAEME: That's just like him.
486
00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:12,719
(MlMlCS PREDATOR GRUNTlNG)
487
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:15,683
(EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON)
Am l the only sane person here?
488
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:17,638
Eh?
489
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:21,097
lt's all right for you, isn't it?
You'll go back to Area 51 .
490
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:25,316
We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive
and sent to Guantanamo Bay!
491
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,690
Why don't l go make
some bagels and coffee?
492
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,947
Leave you two alone.
493
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,993
(PAUL HUMMlNG)
494
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,243
What's the matter, Clive?
495
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:39,247
There is an alien in the kitchenette,
making bagels and coffee.
496
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,038
-Did you want tea?
-No, l don't want tea!
497
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,134
Right, because tea is weird in America.
498
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,539
-They leave the bag in.
-(PAUL WHlSTLlNG TUNE)
499
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:49,667
What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've
picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker
500
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,878
and you seem completely fine with it!
501
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,967
(SlNGlNG) Bagels and coffee
502
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,553
Ooh! Marmite!
503
00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:59,218
He said his life's in danger.
He needs our help, you know?
504
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,939
Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice.
505
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:09,031
What if we wake up and find him
inserting a probe into our anus?
506
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,818
Apparently, they don't do that.
507
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:14,454
PAUL: Anyone want one of these?
508
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,157
Eh? Anyone? Anyone?
509
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:18,910
Eh?
510
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,094
Forty-eight, 49, 50.
511
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:30,300
Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch.
512
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:39,011
-Where's the other one?
-l don't know, sir.
513
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,598
Haggard!
514
00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,854
Sorry, it's just, we were...
515
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,811
Haggard!
516
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,364
(WHlSPERS) Fuck.
517
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,895
(O'RElLLY LAUGHS)
518
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,280
Nice.
519
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,452
(WHlSPERlNG) Get over here.
lt's a guy with a badge.
520
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:58,201
We were just playing hide and seek,
because we had a lot of time.
521
00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,623
(WHlSPERS) Hurry up!
522
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:00,871
l was hiding. (CLEARS THROAT)
523
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,445
You have any traffic through here?
524
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:07,628
No, just a couple of hillbilly types
and two nerds in an RV.
525
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,749
Nerds, huh?
526
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,706
Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con.
They met Adam Shadowchild.
527
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,013
Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
528
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,391
Hewrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay?
529
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:20,599
Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm.
Fluxing Uranus.
530
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,971
You know you're a grown man, right?
531
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,637
Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair?
532
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,018
All of those things.
533
00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:29,805
-Did you search that vehicle?
-O'RElLLY: Yes, sir.
534
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,518
-What did you find?
-Nothing much.
535
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:36,608
Just a book with a green woman
with three titties.
536
00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:38,157
Titties. Three titties.
537
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,700
Three tits. That's awesome.
538
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:42,157
Oh, and some pissy jeans.
539
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,366
-Guy pissed himself.
-Close that.
540
00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:45,955
l don't know if he had
a pre-existing problem or...
541
00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:48,212
Listen to me, Frik and Fuck.
542
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:51,212
l want everything you can remember
about the pissy nerds, okay?
543
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,625
We're leaving.
544
00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:54,962
What about the roadblock, sir?
545
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,588
lt didn't work.
546
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,216
(HAGGARD SlGHS)
547
00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:00,302
We gotta take down that roadblock.
lt didn't work.
548
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:01,467
l'm standing right next to you.
549
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,449
-(HORN HONKlNG)
-(YELLS)
550
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,815
Hey!
551
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,157
Reese's Pieces! Yes!
552
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:23,662
Thank you.
553
00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:32,672
(CHATTERlNG ON POLlCE RADlO)
554
00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:49,518
CHRlS: l heard there was a commotion
on the road after Rachel.
555
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,767
TROOPER: Funny, l didn't hear nothing.
556
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:54,975
-lt must have been the boys out at the base.
-Yeah.
557
00:28:55,067 --> 00:28:56,107
-Hey.
-(GASPS)
558
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,193
(SHUSHES)
559
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,654
-That's a bit much, isn't it?
-What?
560
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,068
-Put it all back.
-Oh.
561
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,116
Except the donuts and the chocolate milk.
562
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:06,371
And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos.
563
00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:10,123
-What about Paul's Reese's Pieces?
-Just hurry up. Please.
564
00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:15,795
No, you go right ahead.
565
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,459
Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you.
566
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,262
-That beast outside yours?
-BOTH: What?
567
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:23,471
-GRAEME: What do you mean "beast"?
-Your RV?
568
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:25,564
Oh, the... Yes. The RV is...
569
00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:27,269
No... Yes.
570
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,519
Where are you boys from?
571
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:30,559
-England.
-England.
572
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:33,154
l heard about England. No guns.
573
00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:36,151
-Not many.
-Not really.
574
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,153
Just, you know, farmers.
575
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,569
How are police supposed to shoot anybody?
576
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:45,235
-They don't.
-They try not to.
577
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:50,997
(CASH REGlSTER DlNGS)
578
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,671
That'll be $1 5.58.
579
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:58,961
$20. Just keep the change,
and give it to charity, or something.
580
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,675
PAUL: You did amazing, Graeme!
581
00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:07,642
That cop didn't suspect a thing!
582
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,853
And, Clive,
583
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,929
you didn't pee your pants.
584
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:14,808
l don't mean to be a stick in the mud,
but you are asking a lot of us, all right?
585
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,066
We've only just met,
we don't know where we're going, or why.
586
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,110
You don't think we're due an explanation?
587
00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:23,073
Look, the less you guys know, the better.
588
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:24,775
l want you to have plausible deniability.
589
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:25,905
(SlGHS)
590
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:30,331
Let's just say l spent a long time
at that base thinking l was a guest.
591
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:31,582
Turns out
592
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,713
l was a prisoner.
593
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:37,210
But don't worry. l got it all under...
594
00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,294
(ALL SCREAMlNG)
595
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:39,498
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)
596
00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:45,894
Fuck, that made me jump.
597
00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,219
Poor little thing!
598
00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:49,224
Nothing you could've done, mate.
599
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:55,192
What you doing?
600
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,017
PAUL: Just watch.
601
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:14,081
(GRUNTlNG)
602
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,171
(CHlRPlNG)
603
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:20,542
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
604
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:22,376
lt's a miracle!
605
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,423
(EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)
606
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,548
-(PAUL GRUNTS)
-(GASPS)
607
00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,724
Man, l'm gonna miss these. Mmm.
608
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:29,013
(EXCLAlMlNG lN DELlGHT)
609
00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:30,216
Why would you do that?
610
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,515
l'm not going to eat a dead bird, am l?
611
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:33,599
(COUGHS)
612
00:31:33,684 --> 00:31:36,064
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO)
613
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,854
PAUL: (SlNGlNG ALONG)
Going out of my mind
614
00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:41,904
You got me thinking that l'm wasting my time
615
00:31:42,109 --> 00:31:43,189
Don't bring me down
616
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,276
Come on, guys!
617
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,701
1 1 :00, 1 2:00! 1 1 :00, 1 2:00!
618
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:47,780
Come on! lt's fun!
619
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:51,372
lf you think about it, it's time travel.
620
00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:57,673
1 1 :00, 1 2:00!
621
00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,786
Yes! All right!
622
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,262
PAUL: Let me see.
GRAEME: No, just sit still.
623
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,177
You gonna draw me
like one of your French girls, Jack?
624
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,302
(KlSSlNG)
625
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,311
l'm joking. l'm sorry.
626
00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:17,731
Just don't make me look fat, okay?
Earth's gravity adds 1 0 pounds.
627
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:20,561
Paul, could l ask you a question?
628
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:21,807
PAUL: Shoot!
629
00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:25,029
Have you ever done that to a person?
630
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,400
Yes, l've eaten many people.
631
00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:29,277
l'm joking, big guy. Relax.
632
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,324
No, l mean, fix them.
633
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,488
Oh. No. Not a dead person.
634
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:37,457
Recently dead bird? That's one thing.
Dead person? Whole other ball game.
635
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,619
lt's actually really dangerous for me.
The damage can bounce back onto me and...
636
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:41,919
(CLlVE YAWNlNG)
637
00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,418
Oh, l'm sorry. Am l boring you?
Have you heard this one before?
638
00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,465
Are you tired, Sausage?
639
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:50,264
Don't call me that in front of him.
640
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,013
Are you tired, though?
641
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,045
Eggy, l'm bushed.
642
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,059
You know what? We're all tired.
643
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,101
Let's just pull over
and stop for the night, huh?
644
00:32:58,185 --> 00:32:59,765
We're fugitives, Paul, all right?
645
00:32:59,853 --> 00:33:03,943
l refuse to just sit around and wait
to get fingered by the Men in Black.
646
00:33:04,024 --> 00:33:08,114
PAUL: We just gotta find somewhere quiet.
We won't draw attention to ourselves.
647
00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:10,275
CLlVE: (SlGHS)
But where are we going, Paul?
648
00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,743
Oh, you'll know it when you see it.
649
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,040
O'RElLLY: Two white guys?
CHRlS: Two strange white guys.
650
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:19,159
O'RElLLY: Strange white guys. Got it.
Order anything weird?
651
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,367
TROOPER: Chocolate milk.
652
00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:23,077
-Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate...
-(CAMERA CLlCKlNG)
653
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,708
WOMAN ON RADlO: Zoil, report.
654
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,298
We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely.
655
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:31,631
We think he may be traveling in an RV
with two men from England.
656
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,715
WOMAN: New England?
657
00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:34,934
Old England.
658
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,973
Creepy. What are they, Ml6?
659
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:42,810
Negative. Just a couple of nerds
on the lam from Comic-Con.
660
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:44,396
WOMAN: My sister's kid went to that.
661
00:33:44,815 --> 00:33:46,645
Little manga faggot.
662
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:51,033
Zoil, something doesn't feel right.
l think he had help on the inside.
663
00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:52,402
(RADlO STATlC)
664
00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:55,454
l want those nerds iced
665
00:33:55,534 --> 00:34:00,084
and that little green prick
either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP.
666
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,623
ZOIL: l'm closing in. l can feel it.
667
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:05,376
ln 24 hours he's gonna wish
he never set foot on planet Earth.
668
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,670
WOMAN: Good.
669
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:13,220
GRAEME: Okay. Here we are.
This is the place.
670
00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:14,760
PAUL: Yeah, this looks good.
671
00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:17,845
lt doesn't look like
anyone's been murdered here.
672
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:21,600
(GRAEME SlGHS)
673
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:24,226
Awfully quiet.
674
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:28,022
Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend.
675
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:30,479
Hi, there.
676
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:31,779
-(GASPS)
-(PAUL GASPS)
677
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,108
(WHlSPERS) There's a girl outside.
678
00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,356
(lNHALES)
679
00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,702
Okay. All right. Look.
680
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:40,872
We're just a couple of regular guys
681
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:44,794
on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.
682
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:46,915
l don't think she heard you.
683
00:34:47,002 --> 00:34:48,422
l'm talking to you.
684
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:49,673
Oh, sorry.
685
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:53,219
Hi. l'm Ruth Buggs.
686
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:57,510
Good evening, Ruth.
l am the writer, Clive Gollings.
687
00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,756
This is my friend and cohort,
Mr. Graeme Willy.
688
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:01,889
Hi.
689
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:07,726
Have you got room?
690
00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:10,194
Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine.
691
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,605
lt's $25 a night, including hookups
692
00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,494
and l'll need an lD to hold onto.
693
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:15,951
Okay.
694
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,413
(RUTH CHUCKLES)
695
00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:24,197
We're just a couple of regular guys
696
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,879
on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.
697
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,499
-How exciting.
-l know.
698
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,093
CLlVE: There you go. lt's my passport.
699
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:37,469
The UK. l love the UK.
700
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:39,352
-GRAEME: Have you been?
-No.
701
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:40,429
You should go.
702
00:35:41,431 --> 00:35:43,181
Oh. Okay.
703
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,846
No, no, l meant, you should go to London.
704
00:35:45,936 --> 00:35:48,516
There's a lot of places l want to go.
705
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,185
MOSES: Ruth! Ruth! Get in here!
706
00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:53,284
l'll be by in the morning to get your money
707
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,940
so have a pleasant evening now, won't you?
708
00:35:55,028 --> 00:35:56,148
CLlVE: Thank you.
GRAEME: Thank you.
709
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,777
-Bye.
-GRAEME: And you. Bye.
710
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,124
She was lovely.
711
00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:07,290
Why don't you just marry her, then?
712
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:08,706
-Boo!
-(EXCLAlMS)
713
00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,672
PAUL: Every time, it works!
714
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,132
That was 30 seconds ago, l did it.
715
00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:15,674
(CHATTERlNG ON TV)
716
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:21,303
-MOSES: What took you so long?
-l was just talking, Papa.
717
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:24,255
Well, you talk too much.
718
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:25,599
Sorry, Papa.
719
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:31,055
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG ON RV STEREO)
720
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:34,066
Huh?
721
00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,820
Hello.
722
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:40,527
-You want a cigarette?
-No, thanks. l don't smoke.
723
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,948
-Can l ask you something?
-Yeah, sure.
724
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:48,997
-You and Graeme, are you guys...
-What?
725
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:52,084
You know... (CLlCKlNG TONGUE)
726
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,466
You know! You guys, two guys...
727
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,088
(GAGGlNG)
728
00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:05,263
Fucking kidding me?
729
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,184
(GROANlNG)
730
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,357
(MOANlNG)
731
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,150
(CHUCKLlNG) What are you...
732
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,991
(CONTlNUES MOANlNG)
733
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,065
-l don't know what you mean.
-Gay!
734
00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:25,237
No! Why do people keep saying that?
735
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:26,616
No, l was just wondering.
736
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,118
lt's totally cool if you are.
Everyone's bi on my planet.
737
00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,366
lt's all about the pleasure thing.
You know what l'm saying?
738
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,923
Why are you here, Paul?
739
00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:38,264
Oh, l was here on a science mission, actually,
740
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:42,509
and then l had some
spaceship-related problems,
741
00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,514
and l kind of crashed.
742
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,644
(CHUCKLES) Lucky for me though,
this little girl,
743
00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:48,724
she pulls me out of the wreck.
744
00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,638
Next thing l know, guys arrive,
cart me off to the base.
745
00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:53,188
(SCOFFlNG CHUCKLE)
746
00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,313
What have you been doing here
all this time?
747
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:59,114
l've been kicking back, man.
l've been shooting the shit.
748
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:01,114
l've been advising the government.
749
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:02,356
Not just the government.
750
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,622
SPlELBERG ON RADlO: l want him
to have some kind of a special power.
751
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,871
Something messianic.
752
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:12,543
Okay, Steven,
how about cellular revivification?
753
00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:14,044
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
754
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,875
Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue
755
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,380
through telepathic manipulation
of intrinsic field memory.
756
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,303
-What's that mean?
-lt means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
757
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:22,972
Yeah, right. Healing.
758
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,011
By touch, or something like that.
759
00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:27,894
Maybe his finger lights up at the end
when he reaches out and touches?
760
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,722
Maybe. You know, sometimes
l find less is more.
761
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,730
Hey. Trust me.
762
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,598
You'd be surprised how much
he's influenced popular culture
763
00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:36,728
over the last 60 years.
764
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:38,645
Agent Mulder was right.
765
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,363
-Agent Mulder was my idea!
-Really?
766
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,744
-Wow!
-Yeah!
767
00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:43,991
That's cool.
768
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:47,742
Pump that shit, Earth-man. l like this song.
Mmm.
769
00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:49,029
Marvin's my boy.
770
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,990
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG)
771
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,289
Come on. Break it down a bit, boys.
772
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,584
Don't be afraid.
773
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,132
Yeah, look at me, l'm breaking it down.
774
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,094
Use them tongs.
775
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,255
Dance with those tongs.
776
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,934
Stoke the fire!
777
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:10,507
Ooh! Ooh!
778
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,019
Yes.
779
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:14,888
(PAUL HUMMlNG)
780
00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:16,516
Yee-haw!
781
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,027
(PAUL LAUGHlNG)
782
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,277
(PAUL SlNGlNG NONSENSlCALLY)
783
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:33,786
MOSES: Ruth! Prayers!
784
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:37,169
PAUL: l don't know the words to this song.
785
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,880
No one does!
786
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,380
(CLlVE AND GRAEME LAUGHlNG)
787
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,463
PAUL: Hey! Guys, let's get fucked up.
788
00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:47,224
(SNORlNG)
789
00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:49,181
-(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
-(GROANS)
790
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,224
Oh, who's knocking? Stop it.
791
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:55,017
-What are you doing?
-Oh, shut up.
792
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:56,935
(GRUNTlNG)
793
00:39:58,271 --> 00:39:59,691
PAUL: l'll hide in here.
794
00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,612
-Don't come out.
-PAUL: Why would l come out?
795
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,111
-Who is it?
-lt's Ruth.
796
00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,736
Ooh... Don't you dare open that door.
797
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,110
-Hi.
-Hello.
798
00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:09,316
Good morning. May l come in?
799
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:13,287
-No. l don't think you should come in.
-Yeah. Make yourself at home.
800
00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,949
-l'm not really dressed.
-Sure. ln you come.
801
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,659
Oh, was everything okay?
802
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:22,249
-Yes it was. lt was very nice. The best. Ever.
-Yes, thank you. Adequate.
803
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:23,667
So, where's the other one?
804
00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:26,630
The other one? lt's just...
805
00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:29,216
Oh, oh.
lt's okay, we don't charge by the person.
806
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:32,972
There were three shadows l saw
dancing around the RV last night, right?
807
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:35,556
-The other one. The other one.
-Oh... He...
808
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:38,732
PAUL: l'm in the can. l ate a closed pistachio.
809
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,811
(FARTlNG)
810
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,356
l'm paying for it.
811
00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:42,771
(CHUCKLES)
812
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:46,896
-That's a nice T-shirt.
-Oh, thanks. l got it at my church.
813
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,780
lt's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.
814
00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,204
Why would Jesus
want to shoot Charles Darwin?
815
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,493
Because of his blasphemous theories.
816
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:56,698
Are you men of God?
817
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,706
We're men of science, you know.
818
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:06,875
We believe in the establishment
of a biological order
819
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,545
through the maelstrom
of physical and chemical chaos.
820
00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,676
God created the Earth in six days,
and on the seventh day he rested.
821
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:14,973
PAUL: Really?
822
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,426
(FARTlNG)
823
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:19,891
Or it could be God. You don't know, do you?
lt's up in the air.
824
00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:24,148
The world is 4,000 years old and can only
be the product of intelligent design.
825
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,942
-PAUL: Oh, that's horseshit.
-Oh!
826
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:27,526
(SCOFFS)
827
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,780
All right, well, then,
828
00:41:29,862 --> 00:41:33,572
please explain how something
as complex as the human eye
829
00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:35,408
simply just comes into being. (LAUGHS)
830
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:38,663
PAUL: Oh, don't give me that old
irreducible complexity crap.
831
00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:41,706
Something as intricate as that
does not just occur
832
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:44,001
without the intervention of a guiding hand.
833
00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:45,705
lt didn't just occur!
834
00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:48,255
lt is the culmination
of billions of years of development
835
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,839
-across countless fucking species.
-(GASPS)
836
00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:52,465
What are you talking about?
837
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,722
-Evolution, baby.
-Oh!
838
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,219
-Blasphemy!
-Oh, yeah.
839
00:41:57,306 --> 00:42:01,306
Nothing that you can say or do
can shake my belief or faith
840
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:04,024
in the sure and certain knowledge
that God made heaven and earth
841
00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,935
and created us all in His own image.
842
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:07,364
-Oh, his own image?
-Yeah.
843
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,442
Well, l got a question.
844
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:11,993
How do you explain me?
845
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:13,528
(GASPS)
846
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,784
She's going, she's falling. Catch...
847
00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,831
And that's Jenga.
848
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,581
-Why did you do that?
-(STAMMERlNG) She fainted!
849
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:23,825
We've gone through this! They faint!
850
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:25,326
But we're going to have to
take her with us now!
851
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:27,128
No! No!
852
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,671
This is America. Kidnapping a Christian?
That's worse than harboring a fugitive.
853
00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:33,877
But she's seen you.
lf we leave her, she's going to call the police!
854
00:42:34,010 --> 00:42:36,930
Who gives a shit? No one's going to
believe this God-bothering Cyclops.
855
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:39,773
Let's just dump her on the road!
Just roll her up in the rug.
856
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:43,229
We can't risk that! lf we take her with us,
then we can get her on our side!
857
00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,232
You'd love to get her on her side,
wouldn't you?
858
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,773
That doesn't make sense.
859
00:42:46,856 --> 00:42:49,396
Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice.
860
00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:51,534
All right. What about my passport?
861
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,065
Oh, God! You guys.
862
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:02,075
PAUL: Mmm-hmm.
863
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,538
(GASPS) No!
864
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:07,923
(GRUNTS)
865
00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,053
(EXCLAlMS)
866
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:21,675
(LAUGHS) Oh, shit.
867
00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:24,636
Ruth, what in the Lord's name...
868
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:26,937
-Morning.
-Morning.
869
00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:28,063
(lNHALES)
870
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,772
(GASPS)
871
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:33,399
Go, go, go!
872
00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:38,566
Oh, fuck. (lNHALES)
873
00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:41,278
MOSES: Show yourself, demon!
874
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,621
GRAEME: Where are you? Where are you?
875
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:44,964
PAUL: Passport! Passport!
876
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:46,369
Jump! Jump!
877
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:48,331
(PAUL GRUNTlNG)
878
00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:51,457
-(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
-(GASPS)
879
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,506
What? That's actually small on my planet.
880
00:43:53,589 --> 00:43:54,589
(GROANS)
881
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:00,802
(PANTlNG)
882
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,147
GRAEME: (ECHOlNG) Ruth?
883
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:20,025
Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?
884
00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:23,988
Where am l?
885
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:26,543
Hey, look who's awake.
886
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,712
Demon! Demon!
887
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:31,541
GRAEME: (STAMMERlNG) We're sorry.
We're not going to hurt you, l promise.
888
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,547
And we'll let you go just as soon as we can.
889
00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,009
You've been deceived
by an agent of Satan himself.
890
00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:38,130
-He's evil!
-l'm sitting right here, come on!
891
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:42,257
No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude.
We're trying to help him get home.
892
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:43,846
He's from another world.
893
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:47,891
There's only one world, our world!
The world that our God, the Father, created!
894
00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,477
lf it makes you feel any better
895
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,522
my existence
only disproves traditional notions
896
00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,226
of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God,
897
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,816
as well as all one-world theologies.
That's all l meant.
898
00:44:55,902 --> 00:45:00,072
(SlNGlNG)
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
899
00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:01,906
-You can't win with these people!
-(RUTH CONTlNUES SlNGlNG)
900
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:05,581
Ruth, just listen to me, for one second.
Please, if you could just calm down.
901
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:09,001
-(ALL CHATTERlNG)
-l can't drive like this.
902
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,331
(BABBLlNG)
903
00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:13,035
She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this.
904
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,131
(SCREECHlNG)
905
00:45:24,513 --> 00:45:25,683
-Oh.
-(PAUL GRUNTS)
906
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,349
(GROANlNG)
907
00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:29,555
What did you do to her?
908
00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,654
l just transferred
my collective knowledge and experience
909
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,519
via a tactile psychokinetic bridge.
910
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:34,896
Ooh, wow, could you do me?
911
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:36,612
lt really takes it out of me.
912
00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:38,112
-Oh, go on, please.
-(GRUNTS)
913
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,364
(PAUL GRUNTS)
914
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:43,528
Oh, wow!
915
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,033
Oh, yeah.
916
00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:48,038
He always knew what was going on
in Battlestar before me
917
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120
'cause his mum had cable.
918
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,955
Fine, pull over. l'll do you.
919
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,120
Absolutely not. No spoilers.
920
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,376
MOSES: l didn't call the government.
l called the police!
921
00:45:58,464 --> 00:46:01,424
This is not the police's area of expertise,
Mr. Buggs.
922
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:05,425
-That devil took my daughter.
-What do you mean, devil?
923
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:07,813
And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it?
924
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:11,520
That's right. l brought her up
by myself after her mama died.
925
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,272
ZOlL: Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir?
926
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:15,064
Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot.
927
00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:18,567
She's had this eye thing
since she was four years old.
928
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:21,110
ZOlL: Didn't want to take her
to a doctor for that?
929
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:23,610
The good Lord is the only doctor
she'll ever need.
930
00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:25,988
Copy that. Do you have a phone here
931
00:46:26,075 --> 00:46:28,735
that your daughter might try to
reach you at if she decides to call?
932
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,118
Yeah, in the back.
933
00:46:30,496 --> 00:46:34,206
Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy
down and get to the phone?
934
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,711
(EXHALES) Right.
935
00:46:36,168 --> 00:46:37,458
MOSES: She'll call me if she can.
936
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,804
ZOlL: You mentioned they went east?
MOSES: That's right.
937
00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:42,921
-(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
-They'll get off the 1 91 after Flaming Gorge
938
00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,179
if they ain't on the interstate.
939
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:45,970
There's been a big-rig spill...
940
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,013
(HAGGARD READlNG)
941
00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:51,274
ZOlL: Here we go. Boys, to the car.
942
00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:54,725
Thank you very, very much for your time, sir.
943
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:59,403
Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil.
Kill it for what it is.
944
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:01,403
We're gonna do our best.
945
00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,525
-l've seen its eyes.
-Mmm-hmm.
946
00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:04,952
lt's evil.
947
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:09,162
Godspeed, Mr. Zoil.
948
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,699
First 48 are crucial.
949
00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:17,542
Sir, you mind telling us
what we're looking for?
950
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:18,786
Yeah, what are we looking for?
951
00:47:18,878 --> 00:47:21,168
l told you this is a need-to-know operation.
952
00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:23,837
Yes, sir, but...
953
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:26,721
Damn it.
954
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:28,509
(STATlC)
955
00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:30,469
HAGGARD ON SCANNER:
Sir, l think it's time you tell us.
956
00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:33,520
ZOlL: Hey, just do
what the fuck l tell you, Haggard.
957
00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:38,311
Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's
little girl before it's too late.
958
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,320
Ruth!
959
00:47:46,155 --> 00:47:47,235
Ruth, wait!
960
00:47:47,323 --> 00:47:48,573
Leave me alone!
961
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:50,487
Please, please, stop. l've got shin splints.
962
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,786
(GROANlNG)
963
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:57,004
He cannot be from space! lt's not possible.
964
00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:58,423
He's from somewhere else.
965
00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:01,591
Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay?
He showed you.
966
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,960
There's probably billions
of intelligent civilizations out there.
967
00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,588
(SCOFFS) So where is everybody? Hmm?
968
00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:08,968
But one of them's there!
969
00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:10,853
PAUL: Are they looking? Are they looking?
970
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,810
Are they looking right now? (LAUGHlNG)
971
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:14,180
Sorry.
972
00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:18,345
That's pathetic.
973
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:21,984
What's your beef, Clive?
974
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:23,776
l don't have a beef.
975
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:25,651
(CHUCKLES)
976
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,447
l'm from outer space.
You're a science-fiction writer.
977
00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:31,202
We should be best buds.
978
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,327
lt's not you.
979
00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,042
lt's me.
980
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,001
(lNAUDlBLE)
981
00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:43,293
ls that what this is? You're jealous? Of her?
982
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:46,296
CLlVE: lt's not just that.
983
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:48,973
PAUL: Whoa.
984
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:50,885
Of me?
985
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,719
This is because me and Graeme
986
00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,806
got two minutes of face-time
while you were sleeping?
987
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,981
-ls that what this is?
-l wanted this to be special, you know?
988
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,941
l have dreamt about meeting you
989
00:49:02,022 --> 00:49:04,612
(CHUCKLES) ever since l saw Mac and Me.
990
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,322
And l blew it.
991
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:09,362
Now you two are friendly,
and he's off talking to girls
992
00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,866
and it's like, where am l?
993
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,489
Come on, man.
994
00:49:13,576 --> 00:49:15,986
This is special.
995
00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:20,248
You guys being all nerdy and shit
and meeting me. That is fate.
996
00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:23,212
Who cares if you pissed your pants, man?
997
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:26,754
When l first got here,
first time l saw a human, l puked.
998
00:49:27,923 --> 00:49:29,723
You guys are weird looking.
999
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,090
You have giant bodies.
You have tiny, little, tiny heads.
1000
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:36,509
-You're just being nice now.
-(LAUGHS) No.
1001
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,349
Look, you want a little sugar?
1002
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:40,732
(NERVOUS GROAN)
1003
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,691
lt's just knowledge and experience, man.
1004
00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:45,401
You're a writer.
Might give you some inspiration.
1005
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:46,732
Will it hurt?
1006
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:49,108
Only if you struggle.
1007
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:50,948
All right.
1008
00:49:51,447 --> 00:49:52,447
(GRUNTS)
1009
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:56,866
(HORN HONKlNG)
1010
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,872
So, everything that l have been told
my whole life
1011
00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,615
is just a big fat lie.
1012
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,328
Do you know how that feels?
1013
00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:09,046
Just because your truth isn't a true truth
doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth.
1014
00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:11,631
-That's easy for you to say.
-lt's really not.
1015
00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:17,217
So there's no heaven.
No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin?
1016
00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:18,556
Well...
1017
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,426
-l can drink?
-lf you like.
1018
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,018
-l can fornicate?
-Maybe.
1019
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,194
-l can curse?
-Well, yeah.
1020
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:27,733
-Penises!
-Ruth.
1021
00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:31,396
Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes!
1022
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,067
Ruth, l'm not sure this is helping.
1023
00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:35,946
What are you doing?
1024
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,743
-(EXCLAlMS) Stop it!
-Why? Why should l stop?
1025
00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:40,825
(EXCLAlMS)
1026
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:43,207
This is not...
1027
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:49,745
Because you have your whole life
to explore new things.
1028
00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:51,088
Okay?
1029
00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:55,013
lt doesn't necessarily mean
you should be exploring mine right now.
1030
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:03,097
You said you wanted to travel,
to see new stuff? This is your chance.
1031
00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:06,435
l really think you should come with us.
1032
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:07,612
Where would l sleep?
1033
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,610
l'll sleep on the sofa.
And then you can have my bed.
1034
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:14,573
But l'd push the tissues off with a pen,
if l were you, because l've had a cold.
1035
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:16,281
Oh.
1036
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,660
(REGGAE MUSlC PLAYlNG ON STEREO)
1037
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:25,420
Ruth has decided
that she would like to come with us.
1038
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:27,382
(EXHALES)
1039
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,499
Wicked.
1040
00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:31,837
l'm gonna go freshen up.
1041
00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:35,302
Hey, Ruth. Wait up.
1042
00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:37,054
You don't smoke.
1043
00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:38,586
l just wanted to say thanks.
1044
00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:41,139
l know this has been weird for you,
1045
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:44,813
but you saved my life
and l owe you one, okay?
1046
00:51:44,893 --> 00:51:46,193
Okay.
1047
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:49,185
What have you got there, by the way?
1048
00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:53,483
Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by
macular edema in your left vitreous cavity?
1049
00:51:53,569 --> 00:51:54,939
How did you know that?
1050
00:51:55,404 --> 00:51:56,784
Lucky guess.
1051
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,034
Do you mind if l take a look at it
for one second?
1052
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:08,417
What does it say in the Old Testament?
"An eye for an eye"?
1053
00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:11,673
-Wait, l don't...
-lt's okay. You can trust me.
1054
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:14,924
-l don't know...
-Just have a little faith, okay?
1055
00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:21,429
(GRUNTlNG)
1056
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,940
(CONTlNUES GRUNTlNG)
1057
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:41,620
(GASPS) Oh!
1058
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,498
How did you do that?
1059
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,995
Evolution, baby.
1060
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:53,955
(PAUL CHUCKLES)
1061
00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,045
-Graeme?
-Yeah?
1062
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,297
GRAEME: Oh, my God. Clive.
1063
00:53:02,388 --> 00:53:04,388
-CLlVE: Oh, my God.
-(GRAEME LAUGHlNG)
1064
00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:09,935
(SNORlNG)
1065
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,449
PAUL: What are you going to do?
Come on. Make your move.
1066
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,785
Oh, shit. Damn it.
1067
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:48,425
(SNORlNG)
1068
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:53,731
-(HORN BLARlNG)
-(GASPS)
1069
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,439
(SHUSHlNG)
1070
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:02,946
PAUL: Hey, check it out! Check it out!
1071
00:54:03,365 --> 00:54:04,405
-Huh?
-(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
1072
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,121
This is easy.
1073
00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:07,618
(NERVOUS MOAN)
1074
00:54:07,703 --> 00:54:10,413
Small corrections, Paul.
Just make small corrections.
1075
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:12,167
PAUL: Graeme, hit the brakes!
1076
00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,470
Hey, there, sleepy face!
1077
00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:30,765
Fuckeroo. That was the best
titty-farting sleep l have ever had.
1078
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,650
l got a feeling
that you're new to cursing, Ruth.
1079
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:38,570
Look, cursing's fun.
You just gotta pick your moments, okay?
1080
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:41,400
Maybe we should stop for some food.
ls anybody hungry?
1081
00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:42,777
-Fuck, yeah!
-GRAEME: Ruth?
1082
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:45,363
You bet your big, fat cock l am!
1083
00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:46,779
Nice!
1084
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:48,487
CLlVE: l'm starving.
1085
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,197
What's new, fatty?
1086
00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:53,660
-lt's not fat, Paul, it's power.
-PAUL: Fat power.
1087
00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,039
-So rude.
-PAUL: You're rude.
1088
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,165
RUTH: Maybe l should call my dad.
1089
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:58,541
-What?
-What? Why?
1090
00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,749
l've been gone for a whole day
1091
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:03,008
and if he calls the police,
they're gonna be looking for us.
1092
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:05,681
lf l don't, there's a good chance
we could all end up in Shit-Butt City.
1093
00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,721
You're really getting the hang of this.
1094
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:09,064
Thanks, dick milk.
1095
00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:10,179
(PAUL GROANS)
1096
00:55:17,397 --> 00:55:18,357
(MOTORCYCLE REVVlNG)
1097
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,860
(WOMAN WHOOPlNG)
1098
00:55:28,116 --> 00:55:29,736
(BAND PLAYlNG COUNTRY MUSlC)
1099
00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:44,091
-l won't be long.
-Okay. Be careful.
1100
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,860
(RlNGlNG)
1101
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:02,282
-ZOlL: Ruth Buggs?
-Yes?
1102
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:05,739
Listen to me carefully.
l want you to tell me where you are.
1103
00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:06,901
Who is this?
1104
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,119
My name is Agent Zoil,
1105
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,079
and it's very important that you tell me
where you are
1106
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:12,989
and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs.
1107
00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:14,995
l can't tell you.
1108
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,500
l mean, l don't know.
1109
00:56:17,582 --> 00:56:19,252
You've been abducted.
1110
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:22,384
And the individual that you're traveling with
is highly dangerous.
1111
00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,262
Oh, no, he's not dangerous.
1112
00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:27,009
I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a Iot,
1113
00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:30,762
and a couple times
l've seen him scratch his spaceman balls.
1114
00:56:30,846 --> 00:56:32,176
(LAUGHlNG)
1115
00:56:33,348 --> 00:56:36,268
Please listen to me.
Your father is extremely worried about you
1116
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,391
and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs.
1117
00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:40,808
He showed me things.
1118
00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:42,897
She's talking about his spaceman balls.
1119
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,863
You know l'm just trying to help you,
right, Ruth?
1120
00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:48,317
l don't know what's real anymore.
l'm confused.
1121
00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:50,445
-We got the bitch!
-O'RElLLY: Yeah, dog! Up high!
1122
00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:52,412
ZOIL: Damn it, Haggard! Miss...
1123
00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:57,158
BOTH: Hey.
1124
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,327
Whoa, slow down there, baby.
1125
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,286
-Excuse me, l have to get to my friends.
-Oh.
1126
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:04,416
l got a friend down here
that would love to meet you.
1127
00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:05,554
(LAUGHlNG)
1128
00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:06,880
Me, too.
1129
00:57:06,965 --> 00:57:08,375
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
1130
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:10,844
Well, as much as l would like
to meet your penises,
1131
00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,257
l'm in a hurry, so excuse me.
1132
00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:14,386
Now, this won't take long, sugar.
1133
00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:16,933
Nope. Won't take long at all.
1134
00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:20,477
Well, since you're both being so romantic,
maybe l could
1135
00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:22,362
give it just a quick hello.
1136
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:24,229
-(PUNCHES)
-(GROANS) What the fuck? Shit!
1137
00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:25,816
Now, why would you even...
1138
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:26,981
Ow! My balls!
1139
00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:28,399
(GUS AND JAKE YELLlNG)
1140
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:30,067
-Hey.
-GRAEME: Hey, how's your dad?
1141
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:31,945
-We gotta go.
-What about the mini pizzas?
1142
00:57:32,032 --> 00:57:33,452
-We gotta go now!
-GUS: No, you don't!
1143
00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,413
Holy shit!
1144
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:39,373
lt's the space faggots
that dinged the fuck-mobile!
1145
00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:41,496
-Yeah. We were just leaving.
-l don't feel well.
1146
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,753
-JAKE: l don't think so.
-Leave her alone!
1147
00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:45,996
GUS: Oh, shit! Sailors!
1148
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:47,958
-Let's go.
-Sorry!
1149
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,424
Excuse me, miss.
1150
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,092
Papa?
1151
00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:58,265
Ruth? My Lord! Your eye!
1152
00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:01,686
-Let's go!
-What about my dad?
1153
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:02,980
Let's go, boy!
1154
00:58:07,776 --> 00:58:09,356
JAKE: Where you going, girls?
1155
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,904
Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas!
1156
00:58:11,988 --> 00:58:14,778
That's no way for a pretty little thing
like you to talk!
1157
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:15,946
She's fairly new to it, to be honest.
1158
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,704
Leave this to me. l'll talk to them.
1159
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,616
(BOTH GASP)
1160
00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:26,169
Yo, fucknuts!
1161
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:27,963
lt's probing time.
1162
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:29,705
Oh.
1163
00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,468
(SlREN WAlLlNG lN DlSTANCE)
1164
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,800
Ha! Only one of us fainted.
1165
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,967
Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce.
1166
00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:39,305
l'm sorry. They answered the phone.
1167
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,060
They knew about us.
1168
00:58:42,477 --> 00:58:44,227
Get in the RV.
1169
00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:47,112
-Come on, they're going to wake up!
-Hurry!
1170
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,573
CLlVE: Sorry!
1171
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,610
PAUL: Okay. We need to get off the road.
1172
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,579
-Shouldn't we keep moving?
-No.
1173
00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,739
That is exactly what they'll expect us to do.
1174
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:03,208
Trust me.
Only an idiot would stop right now.
1175
00:59:03,665 --> 00:59:06,165
-Yeah, pull in here. Perfect.
-CLlVE: What? Paul.
1176
00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:08,131
PAUL: We're idiots, remember?
1177
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,273
What should we do now?
1178
00:59:24,144 --> 00:59:25,814
How about a hot chocolate and bed?
1179
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,266
What are you, my grandma?
1180
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:30,315
Oh, l couldn't sleep. l'm too pumped.
1181
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,320
Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers.
Find somewhere to chill.
1182
00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:34,613
What do you say?
1183
00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:36,106
What if someone sees you?
1184
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,818
lt's dead out there. And l can do this.
1185
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:38,908
(lNHALES)
1186
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,914
Okay. l'm in.
1187
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,575
-PAUL: Rocky?
-Sure.
1188
00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:45,083
PAUL: Bullwinkle?
1189
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:46,785
l'm a little bit tired.
1190
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,075
PAUL: Don't be a pussy.
1191
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,878
(WHlSPERlNG) Don't call me a...
1192
00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:51,669
All right.
1193
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,302
(SlRENS WAlLlNG)
1194
00:59:54,674 --> 00:59:56,514
Just get your hands off me!
1195
01:00:05,810 --> 01:00:07,020
ZOlL: Hoss?
1196
01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:10,060
Something l can help you with?
1197
01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:13,188
Yeah. You mind telling me
what happened here?
1198
01:00:13,276 --> 01:00:15,816
Just a good old-fashioned
beer-soaked slobberknocker.
1199
01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,404
See anything unusual?
1200
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:22,622
A couple hillbilly types in the back
of that meat wagon won't stop crying.
1201
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:31,668
Have you gentlemen seen
anything unusual this evening?
1202
01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:33,165
-Uh-uh.
-Uh-uh.
1203
01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:35,512
Are we sure?
1204
01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:37,167
Mmm-hmm.
1205
01:00:38,718 --> 01:00:41,218
-Thank you.
-No sweat.
1206
01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:48,192
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
1207
01:00:53,024 --> 01:00:55,614
RUTH: lt's a nice window.
GRAEME: lt's a little cowboy, isn't it?
1208
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:56,864
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
1209
01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:58,857
GRAEME: That's funny.
1210
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:04,115
l'll tell you what else is funny,
was when you kissed me yesterday.
1211
01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:05,242
(BOTH CHUCKLlNG)
1212
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:06,908
-Sorry.
-No. lt's not...
1213
01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:11,286
l was like, "Get off me, you rapist."
1214
01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:17,586
-Do it again, if you like.
-What?
1215
01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:19,836
l said you can do it again, if you like.
1216
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,261
Really?
1217
01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:26,136
lf you're gonna try it, then maybe
you should do it with a friend,
1218
01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,024
rather than someone like a stranger
1219
01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:30,101
because there's a lot of weirdos out there.
1220
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:33,266
l am planning on doing a lot of kissing
and fornicating
1221
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,936
so you'd really be helping me out.
1222
01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:37,646
-Great.
-Okay.
1223
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:40,236
-(GASPS) What, now?
-No, l thought you meant...
1224
01:01:40,322 --> 01:01:41,992
No, l did. Let's do it now.
1225
01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,373
-l mean...
-Yeah, all right.
1226
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:45,991
Put my hands on you.
1227
01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:47,947
Just stand here? Okay.
1228
01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,408
Hold you steady.
1229
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:54,084
-(PAUL EXHALES)
-(BOTH GASP)
1230
01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:55,249
Fuck!
1231
01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:58,297
l'm sorry. l thought l was gonna pass out.
(EXHALES)
1232
01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,631
Carry on.
1233
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:02,716
-What's happening?
-Nothing, just hanging around.
1234
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:06,564
They were about to make out.
lt was awkward.
1235
01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:08,426
We were just...
1236
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,813
Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul.
1237
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:19,279
You guys partake?
1238
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:21,029
No, thank you.
1239
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:23,112
l'll partake.
1240
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,992
Are you sure?
(LAUGHlNG) lt's pretty strong shit.
1241
01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,827
l got it from the military, actually.
This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
1242
01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,163
Bob Dylan's not dead.
1243
01:02:32,082 --> 01:02:33,122
lsn't he?
1244
01:02:35,251 --> 01:02:36,381
Hit me.
1245
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,211
Okay. Just go easy on it.
1246
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:40,764
Ruth.
1247
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,630
Just a little bit. Little bit.
1248
01:02:52,644 --> 01:02:53,814
lt's not so bad.
1249
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,475
To be fair,
it takes a while to be absorbed into...
1250
01:02:56,564 --> 01:02:57,864
-(LAUGHlNG HYSTERlCALLY)
-PAUL: Oh, shit.
1251
01:03:02,737 --> 01:03:06,027
(GASPS) l'm hungry.
We should cook up some sausages.
1252
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,986
-Do we have any sausages?
-Uh...
1253
01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:09,659
-What do you mean by that?
-No.
1254
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:13,084
Why do you guys hate me?
Can we cook up some sausages?
1255
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:15,834
Ooh, l have wasps in my brain!
1256
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:16,999
(CLATTERlNG)
1257
01:03:18,169 --> 01:03:21,459
She'll be fine.
That happened to me the first time.
1258
01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:24,172
Paul.
1259
01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:27,683
l was wanting to ask.
You know us now, right?
1260
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:31,679
Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs. (SPlTS)
1261
01:03:31,850 --> 01:03:33,060
(LAUGHS)
1262
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,385
Why are you in such a hurry to leave now?
1263
01:03:36,020 --> 01:03:37,310
(EXHALES)
1264
01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:42,439
Well, according to the government,
l've fulfilled my usefulness.
1265
01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:44,187
l told them everything l know.
1266
01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:47,909
The only thing l have left
to offer them now are my abilities.
1267
01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:51,740
The healing, the thought transfer,
the camouflage.
1268
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:55,498
ln order to cultivate those abilities,
they need some of my stem cells.
1269
01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:57,752
And l'm not really down with that.
1270
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,794
Lucky for me,
l do have one friend left on the inside.
1271
01:04:00,879 --> 01:04:03,259
So, l managed to get an SOS
beamed into space.
1272
01:04:03,339 --> 01:04:06,469
l got my people primed
and ready to pick me up.
1273
01:04:06,551 --> 01:04:09,431
Then, motherfuckers brought
the procedure forward by a day,
1274
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:10,972
my whole plan goes to shit.
1275
01:04:11,055 --> 01:04:12,135
What happened?
1276
01:04:12,223 --> 01:04:16,523
On the way to the mental labs, l zapped
my escort, l stole his car, l took off.
1277
01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:18,313
Found you guys.
1278
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,436
So what happens if you get caught?
1279
01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:24,229
Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain.
1280
01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:26,066
Oh.
1281
01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,155
PAUL: Yeah. lt's fucked.
1282
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,374
lt's kind of a buzz-kill.
1283
01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,541
Let's lighten the mood, shall we?
Clive, when did you last get laid?
1284
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:37,827
Oh. Mmm.
1285
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:42,420
-Collectormania, London, '08.
-'08.
1286
01:04:42,504 --> 01:04:43,804
Ewok chick. (CHUCKLES)
1287
01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,547
Clive likes boning space bears! (LAUGHlNG)
1288
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,433
Shut up.
1289
01:04:48,927 --> 01:04:51,597
No, but seriously, be honest with me.
1290
01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:52,759
What was it like?
1291
01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:56,181
Well, she was furry nice.
1292
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:57,347
(PAUL EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)
1293
01:04:57,435 --> 01:05:00,805
That's disgusting! That's gross.
1294
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,267
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
1295
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:08,361
-PAUL: Hey, Clive.
-(GlGGLES)
1296
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:10,606
No, Boomer, it's forbidden.
1297
01:05:10,698 --> 01:05:12,658
Hey, Clive.
1298
01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,202
-Hey!
-Clive!
1299
01:05:14,285 --> 01:05:16,745
Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here!
1300
01:05:18,122 --> 01:05:21,122
(GROANS)
1301
01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,039
(YAWNlNG)
1302
01:05:23,127 --> 01:05:24,917
Where's Ruth?
1303
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,464
She went back to the RV.
1304
01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:29,302
(LAUGHlNG)
1305
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,764
Of course!
1306
01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:32,934
He can read minds.
1307
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:34,052
CLlVE: Come on.
1308
01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:39,639
PAUL: Guys, l think we have a slight problem
over here.
1309
01:05:42,313 --> 01:05:43,983
Oh, man.
1310
01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:48,191
l can't hold my breath
the whole way through town.
1311
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:50,901
Wait here.
1312
01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,159
What? Wait!
1313
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:07,133
Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
1314
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,263
You mind if l come in there
and ask a few questions?
1315
01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:10,760
Not at all.
1316
01:06:17,515 --> 01:06:18,555
Morning.
1317
01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:25,774
-PAUL: Why are we holding hands?
-So we look like a family.
1318
01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:27,687
PAUL: Yeah, the fucking Friedmans.
1319
01:06:27,775 --> 01:06:28,975
You could be a midget.
1320
01:06:29,068 --> 01:06:30,898
-You're obsessed with midgets!
-No, l'm not!
1321
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,701
(WHlSPERlNG) Stop it! Just act normal.
1322
01:06:33,781 --> 01:06:37,951
We're just a couple of regular guys walking
down the street with a small cowboy.
1323
01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:39,116
All right, Clive?
1324
01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:40,745
Clive?
1325
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,000
-Clive.
-PAUL: Oh, come on!
1326
01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:49,923
(WHlSPERlNG) Clive, what are you doing?
1327
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,416
PAUL: Yeah, man, what the fuck?
1328
01:06:51,507 --> 01:06:52,627
l want it.
1329
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:56,847
l can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is
not Comic-Con now. This is reality.
1330
01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:59,930
PAUL: lt's false economy anyway,
it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go!
1331
01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:02,386
-Why would l ever use it?
-Can we just go, please?
1332
01:07:02,477 --> 01:07:04,977
Wait. Maybe we should go inside.
1333
01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:06,613
GRAEME: What?
PAUL: We'll hide out.
1334
01:07:06,689 --> 01:07:09,779
You go back and get Ruth.
Get the RV, pick us up in 1 0 minutes.
1335
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:10,899
You sure?
1336
01:07:12,236 --> 01:07:13,446
Trust me.
1337
01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:14,779
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
1338
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,318
(GASPS)
1339
01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:21,619
Good morning.
My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
1340
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:24,004
Mind if l come in, ask you a few questions?
1341
01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:26,582
Do you mind if we just do it right here?
1342
01:07:26,668 --> 01:07:27,668
Okay.
1343
01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:30,632
This place is a real cock-sucking mess.
1344
01:07:31,756 --> 01:07:32,796
Got it.
1345
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:37,764
l'm telling you,
we're looking for a goddamn alien.
1346
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:40,385
l thought all that Project Blue Book stuff
was horseshit.
1347
01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:41,853
No, it all makes sense.
1348
01:07:41,933 --> 01:07:43,643
All this hush-hush crap?
1349
01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:45,226
-The drawing that l found?
-Mmm-hmm.
1350
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,731
What do you think that girl
was talking about last night?
1351
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:49,864
Holy shit! Spaceman balls!
1352
01:07:49,941 --> 01:07:52,531
Yeah. And who has spaceman balls?
1353
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,490
-Buzz Aldrin?
-Be serious.
1354
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,241
(MlMlCS SWOOSHlNG)
1355
01:07:58,449 --> 01:07:59,949
(EXHALES)
1356
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:02,826
(HUMMlNG)
1357
01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:05,582
PAUL: Hello, handsome.
1358
01:08:06,708 --> 01:08:08,038
KElTH: ls that you?
1359
01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:09,666
Uh, huh?
1360
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,126
ls that you on the cover?
1361
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,213
(SCOFFS)
1362
01:08:13,297 --> 01:08:14,417
No. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
1363
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:16,676
-What's your name?
-Keith Nash.
1364
01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:20,465
-Nice to meet you. l'm Paul.
-Right.
1365
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,965
So, you're not freaked out by me?
1366
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:25,893
-Hmm. Yes and no.
-Huh.
1367
01:08:26,894 --> 01:08:28,444
You mind taking a look
at these photographs?
1368
01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:31,901
Tell me if you recognize either one
of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl?
1369
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,107
-Ma'am?
-No.
1370
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:37,114
Anything? Anything at all?
1371
01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:38,822
Mmm-mmm.
1372
01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:41,736
-(WHlSPERS) You really think this is an alien?
-Yeah!
1373
01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:45,616
-This is huge! This is huge!
-l know! l know!
1374
01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:47,405
ls that a comic book shop?
1375
01:08:47,498 --> 01:08:48,998
Can we go in there?
1376
01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,423
Maybe. lf you're good.
1377
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,002
Where are you coming from?
1378
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:54,247
Austin.
1379
01:08:54,338 --> 01:08:56,968
-Good town.
-Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats.
1380
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:58,720
Sorry? What'd you say?
1381
01:08:58,801 --> 01:08:59,801
Mmm-mmm.
1382
01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:02,144
Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs...
1383
01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:03,511
Darwin.
1384
01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:07,354
Charlotte Darwin.
1385
01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:09,265
Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day.
1386
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:12,939
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
1387
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,654
-(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
-(GASPS)
1388
01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:18,364
BOTH: You are not gonna believe this.
1389
01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:21,284
You should get this one.
1390
01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:24,025
-Thanks.
-Yeah, it's good.
1391
01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:28,618
Nice! l like your style, Keith Nash.
1392
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,366
-l gotta go.
-Catch you later.
1393
01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:31,878
Bye, Paul.
1394
01:09:31,959 --> 01:09:33,039
Don't get caught.
1395
01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:34,836
(PAUL CHUCKLES)
1396
01:09:34,962 --> 01:09:36,342
Happy trails.
1397
01:09:36,506 --> 01:09:37,506
Eh?
1398
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:43,887
Huh!
1399
01:09:43,971 --> 01:09:46,471
Pretty good. Pretty good.
1400
01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:47,848
(CLEARS THROAT)
1401
01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:50,064
How much is that?
1402
01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:54,482
With the sword, $299.99 plus tax.
1403
01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:55,725
Yeah, l'll wear it now.
1404
01:09:55,817 --> 01:09:56,817
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
1405
01:09:56,901 --> 01:09:58,571
HAGGARD: Come on, man, let's go!
1406
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,988
l'll be right out.
1407
01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:03,615
(EXHALES)
1408
01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:06,029
Should have used the cufflink thing.
1409
01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,759
Spaceman balls?
1410
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,312
(UNZlPPlNG)
1411
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,688
Get your goddamn hands
off my motherfucking junk!
1412
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:38,775
(SCREAMS)
1413
01:10:39,694 --> 01:10:41,824
lt's in there! lt's in there!
1414
01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:47,031
(HAGGARD EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)
1415
01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:49,083
(YELLS)
1416
01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:53,924
CLlVE: Hello.
1417
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,627
(SlGHS) O'Reilly!
1418
01:10:56,711 --> 01:10:58,461
You dumb shit,
that's just some asshole in a mask.
1419
01:10:58,546 --> 01:10:59,916
(PAUL GASPlNG FOR BREATH)
1420
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,716
Holy Mary, Mother of God!
1421
01:11:02,216 --> 01:11:03,676
l gotta quit smoking.
1422
01:11:03,759 --> 01:11:05,219
(SCREAMlNG)
1423
01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:07,393
-Let's go!
-(WOMAN SCREAMlNG)
1424
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:08,757
Sorry, ma'am!
1425
01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:10,140
(PAUL SCREAMS)
1426
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:11,676
(GUN FlRlNG)
1427
01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,310
-Shit!
-PAUL: Don't let... Behind me!
1428
01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:19,984
Hurry up, buttcracks!
1429
01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:21,067
Look, it's that nerd.
1430
01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:22,902
Oh!
1431
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,163
Oh, yeah!
1432
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:26,909
-Who was that kid?
-Keith Nash!
1433
01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:28,071
Punch it!
1434
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:30,735
l don't know what happened!
Who is that kid?
1435
01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,198
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
1436
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,710
-Get the car started!
-Yes, sir!
1437
01:11:40,838 --> 01:11:43,168
Whoa, whoa. What's going on?
Did you guys get me some information?
1438
01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:44,837
We saw it. We saw the alien.
1439
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,586
lt was in the comic book shop. lt's hideous!
l think l shit my pants.
1440
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:48,928
l don't know what you guys
are talking about.
1441
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:51,563
You know what?
1442
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,561
You know exactly what we're talking about.
1443
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,814
l'm sick and tired
of being in the dark on this...
1444
01:11:56,896 --> 01:12:01,146
Where the fuck did he go?
1445
01:12:01,234 --> 01:12:02,784
l got your door for you.
1446
01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:03,990
l got mine.
1447
01:12:04,070 --> 01:12:06,740
He went with those nerds.
1448
01:12:06,822 --> 01:12:10,452
So, you want to follow us, big guy?
1449
01:12:10,534 --> 01:12:12,454
-You kids are gonna go back to the base.
-Uh-huh.
1450
01:12:12,536 --> 01:12:15,406
Daddy's gonna stick behind,
do a little adult work.
1451
01:12:15,498 --> 01:12:17,328
Now, tell me which way
the little green guy went.
1452
01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:19,876
-North East highway.
-North East highway.
1453
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:21,131
Straight home, now.
1454
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:23,296
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
1455
01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,052
RUTH: Sorry, guys. lt's my dad!
1456
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:30,264
This guy doesn't quit.
You kind of have to respect it.
1457
01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,734
-Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster.
-RUTH: Go away, Dad!
1458
01:12:39,814 --> 01:12:42,074
-Guys, calm down.
-Those asshorns are gonna catch us!
1459
01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:43,609
l said, calm down! Pull over!
1460
01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,193
-What do you mean, pull over?
-Pull over!
1461
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:06,054
All right. That's it.
1462
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:09,262
This is too dangerous.
l can make it on my own from here.
1463
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,643
-What do you mean?
-No. Graeme, you've done enough.
1464
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:14,641
l'll boost a car or something.
l can drive an automatic.
1465
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,064
You're a terrible driver!
1466
01:13:16,142 --> 01:13:18,602
He's right, Paul.
You can't even drive a spaceship.
1467
01:13:18,686 --> 01:13:20,896
l'm close now. l'll be fine.
1468
01:13:20,980 --> 01:13:22,560
But we've come all this way.
1469
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,018
Yeah, and at what cost, huh?
1470
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:27,278
l've shaken your faith.
l've almost gotten you guys killed!
1471
01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:28,531
l just want to get home.
1472
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:32,411
You are going home. l think we've come
too far to let you do this alone.
1473
01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:35,871
Yeah. What happened to BFFs?
We are in this together, Paul.
1474
01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:38,963
You bet your hairy love eggs we are.
1475
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,080
The last 72 hours
have been the ride of my life
1476
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:43,207
and l'm fucked
if l'm getting off this bus now!
1477
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,804
-Yeah, me, too.
-And me.
1478
01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:47,550
Well, that settles it.
1479
01:13:47,673 --> 01:13:49,673
We're all fucked.
1480
01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,678
Thank you guys so much.
1481
01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:57,722
lf you're absolutely sure, there is
a little something you can do for me.
1482
01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:04,188
-What about this one?
-No, too small.
1483
01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:05,983
-Really?
-Yeah, too small.
1484
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:08,486
(ELECTRONlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)
1485
01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:13,323
-Seems rather fitting.
-Mmm.
1486
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538
-That wasn't difficult, was it?
-No. Not at all.
1487
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,372
-Hello.
-Hello.
1488
01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:24,127
That'll be $299.99, plus tax.
1489
01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:27,252
-Same as the sword.
-(CHUCKLES)
1490
01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:31,133
PAUL: Look. They're running.
RUTH: Holy shit!
1491
01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:33,587
-Get the door.
-Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing?
1492
01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:35,297
l've been driving these things my whole life.
1493
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,140
(ENGlNE STARTS)
1494
01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:39,809
PAUL: Come on! Get in, get in.
1495
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:41,850
(BOTH PANTlNG)
1496
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:43,096
Graceful.
1497
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:51,237
WOMAN ON RADlO:
Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect.
1498
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:55,160
A fireworks store just got ripped off
by two British nerds in an RV.
1499
01:14:55,241 --> 01:14:56,241
Son of a bitch!
1500
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,655
According to local bacon,
they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you.
1501
01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:02,075
Drive Iike a man,
you'll catch up to them in 30.
1502
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,834
Cops are standing down.
You better spin your ass around!
1503
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,287
Roger that!
1504
01:15:06,836 --> 01:15:08,166
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
1505
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:13,047
Don't make me come out there.
1506
01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:15,394
l'm guest of honor
at the governor's ball tonight
1507
01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:16,889
and l'm dressed up real nice.
1508
01:15:16,971 --> 01:15:19,761
Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway?
1509
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,019
You tell me.
1510
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:23,940
You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek.
1511
01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:27,519
WOMAN ON SCANNER:
Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14.
1512
01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:29,073
ZOlL: You don't think...
1513
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:31,110
WOMAN: Son of a bitch is going back.
1514
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:34,073
He's gonna try and make contact.
We got him, Zoil.
1515
01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:35,605
Bring me back my space monkey
1516
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:39,078
and l guarantee you level 5 clearance
and all the perks.
1517
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,080
ZOIL: Great. Better parking space
would be good.
1518
01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:44,082
l don't know, man. l don't know.
He looked awful mad.
1519
01:15:44,415 --> 01:15:48,205
Fuck him. He's a dinosaur.
lt's time for some new blood.
1520
01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,339
Okay. We're nearly there.
1521
01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,719
This is where we've been headed?
1522
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,385
No. l just need to make
a little stop first, okay?
1523
01:16:02,474 --> 01:16:04,604
Do you think we've really got time
to be making little stops?
1524
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:07,185
This is something l really have to do.
1525
01:16:08,314 --> 01:16:10,824
Okay, stop here. This is good.
This is close enough.
1526
01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:14,066
(PAUL GROANlNG)
1527
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,905
Shouldn't we park a bit closer?
1528
01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,410
No. We don't want to scare her.
1529
01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:22,583
Scare who?
1530
01:16:24,496 --> 01:16:25,576
GRAEME: You knock.
CLlVE: You knock.
1531
01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:26,714
GRAEME: l always knock.
1532
01:16:27,791 --> 01:16:29,501
TARA: Who's there?
1533
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:32,592
ls that Tara Walton?
1534
01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:34,922
TARA: Leave me alone.
1535
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:37,011
(CLlVE CLEARlNG THROAT)
1536
01:16:37,092 --> 01:16:39,682
Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings.
1537
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,562
l'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy.
1538
01:16:42,806 --> 01:16:44,096
(DOOR UNLOCKlNG)
1539
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,596
And what do you want?
1540
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:54,823
We're here with the alien
that killed your dog 60 years ago.
1541
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:00,784
Let's go. Let's just go.
1542
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,156
What is this? Some kind of a joke?
1543
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,619
Hey, Tara.
1544
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,126
(GASPS)
1545
01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:13,671
You!
1546
01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:15,463
(TlCKlNG)
1547
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,932
That's a very loud clock, isn't it?
1548
01:17:23,013 --> 01:17:26,813
You have a nerve showing your face here
after all these years.
1549
01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,898
Maybe l should make some tea.
1550
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,310
TARA: l'll do it.
1551
01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:37,991
(SlGHS) Okay.
1552
01:17:47,538 --> 01:17:49,618
Look, Tara.
1553
01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:53,127
l only just stopped believing in you,
you know.
1554
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:58,257
l spent a very long time trying to convince
folks about what happened that night.
1555
01:17:58,340 --> 01:18:01,260
Everyone said l was mad!
1556
01:18:01,343 --> 01:18:05,563
They told me it was a meteor
that squashed little Paul.
1557
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:09,561
They took me away and they did tests.
1558
01:18:09,643 --> 01:18:12,063
They said it was for cosmic radiation.
1559
01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:15,686
(STAMMERlNG)
That l was concussed, hallucinating.
1560
01:18:15,774 --> 01:18:17,734
But l knew you were real!
1561
01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:20,738
l pulled you from that spaceship myself.
1562
01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:22,661
l kept you warm and comfortable.
1563
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:25,950
l sat there with you till the men came
to take you away.
1564
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:28,874
Pop tried to understand,
1565
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:32,964
but he would just smile and say,
"There there, Tara."
1566
01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,626
When word got out about my story,
1567
01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:42,844
kids used to come and throw stones
at the house, call me names.
1568
01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:45,757
And l just hid myself away.
1569
01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:50,056
l'd spend whole nights up there,
just staring at the sky,
1570
01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,522
hoping that l'd catch a glimpse of you.
1571
01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:54,653
And here you are.
1572
01:18:57,316 --> 01:19:00,986
l'm sorry.
lf l could have done it any other way, l...
1573
01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,280
Oh, it's okay.
1574
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:04,663
You're real.
1575
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:06,320
That's all that matters.
1576
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,408
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1577
01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:08,993
-l was right.
-Mmm-hmm.
1578
01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:11,948
And all those folks that said l was crazy?
1579
01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:14,829
They can all just go fuck themselves.
1580
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,375
(LAUGHS)
1581
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:21,009
l brought something for you.
l thought you might want it back.
1582
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,222
Here you go.
1583
01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:26,967
(GASPS)
1584
01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:32,022
Oh, thank you.
1585
01:19:37,397 --> 01:19:38,397
(RlNGlNG)
1586
01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:43,190
Who do you suppose that is?
1587
01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:45,026
(TARA GASPS)
1588
01:19:45,697 --> 01:19:47,737
-CLlVE: Where did that come from?
-Holy shit! lt's them!
1589
01:19:47,825 --> 01:19:49,025
l'll take the front!
1590
01:19:50,536 --> 01:19:51,576
(SCREAMS) Oh!
1591
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:52,662
(HAGGARD COUGHlNG)
1592
01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:55,116
What the fuck are you doing here?
1593
01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:56,537
Go! Go!
1594
01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:58,713
(ALL COUGHlNG)
1595
01:20:02,714 --> 01:20:04,264
Haggard!
1596
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,471
HAGGARD: Alien!
1597
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:06,881
(YELLlNG)
1598
01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:14,233
(GASPlNG)
1599
01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:19,984
Shit! Haggard! Where's the party, man?
1600
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,565
There's no one in this place!
Come on, buddy, help me out.
1601
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:23,691
Oh, fuck!
1602
01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:26,452
HAGGARD: Freeze, motherfucker!
1603
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:28,200
(GRUNTS) So weak.
1604
01:20:28,282 --> 01:20:29,872
Give me the alien!
1605
01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:32,446
Give me the fucking alien!
1606
01:20:32,786 --> 01:20:34,406
-No!
-Ow! Fuck. Watch it.
1607
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:35,996
Give me the alien!
1608
01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:38,170
Get your own alien.
1609
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:42,210
(SCREAMlNG)
1610
01:20:43,589 --> 01:20:44,589
(GROANS)
1611
01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:48,625
Thank you, Clive! ls Tara with us?
1612
01:20:48,719 --> 01:20:51,679
Tara! Come this way! Follow us!
1613
01:20:51,763 --> 01:20:53,683
Oh, man-balls! lt's my dad!
1614
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,595
Are you okay? Am l heavy?
1615
01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:57,394
l told you, it's not fat, it's power!
1616
01:20:59,771 --> 01:21:01,061
Oh, great.
1617
01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:03,608
(GASPS)
1618
01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,360
l told you we should've parked closer!
1619
01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:10,074
(GUN FlRlNG)
1620
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:12,908
Holster that. They're mine!
1621
01:21:13,243 --> 01:21:15,623
-Consider that a warning!
-You crazy bastard!
1622
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:19,121
O'RElLLY: l got you, you little space freak!
1623
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,128
Ruth! Get back here!
1624
01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:22,250
Just go home!
1625
01:21:26,673 --> 01:21:28,973
-Oh, l got you, sucker. Coming.
-(GAS HlSSlNG)
1626
01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:30,469
Ready or not.
1627
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,135
(SCREAMlNG)
1628
01:21:39,353 --> 01:21:40,483
PAUL: Holy fuck.
1629
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:48,110
(COUGHlNG)
1630
01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:50,402
-Papa!
-Ruth, wait!
1631
01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:54,332
Papa! Papa!
1632
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,078
-(GROANS)
-Oh!
1633
01:21:56,495 --> 01:21:58,195
lt's okay, he's alive. He's okay!
1634
01:21:58,288 --> 01:21:59,458
(GROANlNG)
1635
01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,539
-Go, Clive, go!
-Wait for me!
1636
01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:02,825
You okay?
1637
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,588
-Thank you. l'm okay.
-Wait there.
1638
01:22:05,128 --> 01:22:06,298
(COUGHlNG)
1639
01:22:08,382 --> 01:22:09,512
(YELLS)
1640
01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:14,054
Graeme!
1641
01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:19,640
Ruth! Drive!
1642
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:24,017
CLlVE: Come on, Graeme!
1643
01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:27,147
Don't leave me!
1644
01:22:32,990 --> 01:22:34,030
Never.
1645
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:38,080
Graeme, you scared the shit out of me.
1646
01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:40,041
Ruth, why aren't you driving?
1647
01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:42,002
l told you. lt's easy!
1648
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:43,417
(ALL SCREAMlNG)
1649
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:52,260
Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Road! Okay.
1650
01:22:53,176 --> 01:22:55,716
Small corrections! Small corrections!
1651
01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:00,558
Oh, my weed!
1652
01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:02,351
(SOBBlNG) Oh!
1653
01:23:13,030 --> 01:23:14,200
(GUN FlRlNG)
1654
01:23:20,037 --> 01:23:24,247
Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch!
1655
01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,382
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
1656
01:23:32,674 --> 01:23:34,434
WOMAN ON RADlO:
Zoil, progress report.
1657
01:23:36,053 --> 01:23:39,893
This is Haggard, sir.
Agent Zoil is no longer in command.
1658
01:23:39,973 --> 01:23:42,523
l don't give a shit who's in command.
Where the fuck are they?
1659
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:45,391
Just ahead of me,
heading east towards Lytle Creek.
1660
01:23:45,479 --> 01:23:48,859
l don't wanna hear from anybody
until that cocksucker is dead! Get me?
1661
01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,190
Yes, sir.
1662
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:51,275
Ma'am.
1663
01:23:57,783 --> 01:23:58,783
God damn it!
1664
01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:06,209
This is official government business!
1665
01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:09,461
Stand down,
or l am authorized to use deadly force.
1666
01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:12,051
That thing has my daughter!
1667
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,760
This isn't your mission!
1668
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:16,550
l'm on a mission from God!
1669
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:17,965
Tell him you failed.
1670
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:19,512
Oh!
1671
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,818
Shit! We got company.
1672
01:24:42,494 --> 01:24:43,954
He's trying to overtake us!
1673
01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,907
-Don't let him get past!
-Should l ram him?
1674
01:24:45,997 --> 01:24:48,707
-What about the deposit?
-Fuck the deposit.
1675
01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:49,882
PAUL: You're crazy!
1676
01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:51,707
(SCREAMS)
1677
01:24:57,008 --> 01:24:58,088
Fuck.
1678
01:24:59,511 --> 01:25:00,761
(GRUNTS)
1679
01:25:06,935 --> 01:25:08,595
Oh, fuck! Come on!
1680
01:25:08,687 --> 01:25:09,937
Smile, you son of a bitch!
1681
01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,270
Eyes forward, butthorn.
1682
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,019
(SCREAMlNG)
1683
01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:24,331
Do you think he'll be okay?
1684
01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:25,791
Yeah, he'll be fine.
1685
01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:30,210
(GASPS) Mmm.
1686
01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,383
-WOMAN ON RADlO: Haggard.
-Zoil.
1687
01:25:36,506 --> 01:25:38,046
Where are the other two?
1688
01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,683
One crashed and burned,
the otherjust burned.
1689
01:25:40,760 --> 01:25:43,180
Jesus Christ!
This has been one fuck-up after another.
1690
01:25:43,263 --> 01:25:45,143
l should have handled this myself.
1691
01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:47,603
l am very close. You give me one hour.
1692
01:25:47,684 --> 01:25:50,734
An hour? l'll be eating canapés
with the governor in an hour.
1693
01:25:50,812 --> 01:25:52,312
l need this wrapped up now!
1694
01:25:52,397 --> 01:25:55,357
No, no. They're mine, damn it.
l'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
1695
01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:58,242
Too late, Zoil. l'm bringing in the big guns.
1696
01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,356
Boring conversation anyway.
1697
01:26:02,449 --> 01:26:04,069
-(RADlATOR HlSSlNG)
-(GROANS)
1698
01:26:06,828 --> 01:26:10,498
Fare thee well, my friend.
You were a faithful and mighty steed.
1699
01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:11,962
l can't believe she's gone.
1700
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,212
Ain't that a bag of tits.
1701
01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,503
Oh, what'll we do now, Paul?
1702
01:26:16,588 --> 01:26:18,128
Paul?
1703
01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:20,930
-(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
-GRAEME: Paul, where are you going?
1704
01:26:31,144 --> 01:26:33,604
PAUL: See? What did l tell you, fellas?
1705
01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:35,978
-You'd know it when you saw it.
-(GRAEME CHUCKLES lN DlSBELlEF)
1706
01:26:37,609 --> 01:26:38,859
Oh.
1707
01:26:38,985 --> 01:26:40,395
BOTH: Of course.
1708
01:26:50,830 --> 01:26:54,630
-Ah! Right. Shoots flaming balls. Whoo!
-Whoo!
1709
01:26:55,293 --> 01:26:58,003
-Can you just light the fucking thing?
-Fireworks are not toys, Paul.
1710
01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:01,628
-What is the suggested safe distance?
-Right.
1711
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:05,049
-500 feet.
-That's going to put us behind the tree line.
1712
01:27:05,136 --> 01:27:07,466
-We're not gonna enjoy the full effect.
-That's true, actually.
1713
01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:08,556
Hey, what the...
1714
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,270
PAUL: (LAUGHlNG)
Oh! Now you're running, huh?
1715
01:27:10,350 --> 01:27:12,640
That's not funny. That's dangerous.
1716
01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:14,227
(ALL GASPlNG)
1717
01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:40,088
(FlRECRACKERS WHlSTLlNG)
1718
01:27:44,801 --> 01:27:46,181
What now?
1719
01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:49,346
We wait.
1720
01:27:57,564 --> 01:27:59,114
Yes.
1721
01:27:59,190 --> 01:28:00,570
-That's amazing.
-RUTH: Thank you.
1722
01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:01,780
-PAUL: Not bad.
-(RUTH CHUCKLlNG)
1723
01:28:01,860 --> 01:28:03,820
That's three times you've done that now.
1724
01:28:03,903 --> 01:28:05,903
l never met anyone...
1725
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:07,361
(HlGH-PlTCHED BEEPlNG)
1726
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,201
(GASPS)
1727
01:28:35,477 --> 01:28:36,637
Oh, no, you don't.
1728
01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:38,403
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)
1729
01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:42,187
Wait a minute.
1730
01:28:51,576 --> 01:28:55,946
WOMAN ON SPEAKER:
Stay where you are, you little green bastard!
1731
01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:18,435
lt's the Big Guy.
1732
01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:23,274
Well, what do you know?
1733
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,648
Small world.
1734
01:29:26,611 --> 01:29:29,281
-Paul!
-Zoil?
1735
01:29:36,996 --> 01:29:38,116
(SCREAMlNG)
1736
01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:40,964
(GUNS FlRlNG)
1737
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:47,631
Huh?
1738
01:29:53,263 --> 01:29:55,313
(GROANS)
1739
01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:59,139
Don't fucking move!
1740
01:30:00,437 --> 01:30:03,147
Okay, everyone be cool.
Everyone just be cool.
1741
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,611
l gotta say, l'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil.
1742
01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,782
He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend.
1743
01:30:07,861 --> 01:30:11,911
You stupid son of a bitch.
You could've been where l am in 1 5 years.
1744
01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:15,030
-l don't want to be where you are.
-Too bad,
1745
01:30:15,118 --> 01:30:18,448
seeing as how
l'm the one holding all the cards.
1746
01:30:18,538 --> 01:30:21,168
And when l say "cards," l of course mean
1747
01:30:21,249 --> 01:30:22,829
big fucking gun.
1748
01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,294
Very big gun.
1749
01:30:25,503 --> 01:30:28,013
-Let's go, Mork.
-Don't call me Mork.
1750
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,719
-No.
-Guys, you don't have to do this.
1751
01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:31,179
No, he's going nowhere.
1752
01:30:31,259 --> 01:30:32,339
(LAUGHS)
1753
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:34,257
Can it, nerds.
1754
01:30:34,345 --> 01:30:37,255
Shit, l'd shoot you now
if l didn't get off on the idea
1755
01:30:37,348 --> 01:30:40,888
of your being hog-tied and pissed on
in Guantanamo Bay.
1756
01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,727
They've shut Guantanamo Bay.
1757
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,062
Did they?
1758
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:46,439
Be honest with yourselves.
1759
01:30:46,524 --> 01:30:50,574
What do you think you can possibly bring
to the table at this point in the game?
1760
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:54,572
Blind fury.
1761
01:30:55,533 --> 01:30:56,873
-(GRUNTS)
-(PAUL GASPS)
1762
01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:58,035
Oh.
1763
01:30:58,328 --> 01:30:59,998
False economy. l told you.
1764
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:02,540
Step aside, fag.
1765
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:05,040
(SPEAKlNG KLlNGON)
1766
01:31:08,546 --> 01:31:11,086
PAUL: Oh! Dude!
1767
01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:12,264
lnsane!
1768
01:31:16,221 --> 01:31:17,221
(GROANS)
1769
01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,479
(SCREAMlNG)
1770
01:31:22,101 --> 01:31:23,271
(GROANS) Oh!
1771
01:31:24,312 --> 01:31:26,652
Ow!
1772
01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:29,067
(SCREAMlNG)
1773
01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:33,146
(GROANS)
1774
01:31:33,238 --> 01:31:36,028
-GRAEME: Ruth!
-Get away from her, you bitch!
1775
01:31:37,283 --> 01:31:38,453
Ow!
1776
01:31:40,119 --> 01:31:41,949
(GROANlNG)
1777
01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:44,252
Zoil, you okay, man?
1778
01:31:45,708 --> 01:31:48,288
-So much for the plan, huh?
-l know, right?
1779
01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:50,208
Sorry l zapped you at the farmhouse.
1780
01:31:50,296 --> 01:31:52,586
That's okay. l'm sorry l wasn't there
to meet you outside the base.
1781
01:31:52,674 --> 01:31:54,304
By the time l got there, you'd already gone.
1782
01:31:54,926 --> 01:31:56,756
But l see you got yourself a plan B, huh?
1783
01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:59,215
Did l ever. These are my friends.
1784
01:31:59,305 --> 01:32:01,055
-CLlVE: Hello.
-Pleasure to meet you boys.
1785
01:32:01,140 --> 01:32:03,480
-You did a hell of a job.
-Thank you, Agent Zoil.
1786
01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,562
Please call me Lorenzo.
1787
01:32:05,979 --> 01:32:06,979
-Lorenzo Zoil?
-Lorenzo Zoil?
1788
01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,898
That's right.
1789
01:32:11,734 --> 01:32:12,944
MOSES: Ruth!
1790
01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:14,902
Papa?
1791
01:32:18,741 --> 01:32:20,121
-Paul!
-Ruth!
1792
01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,949
(GASPS)
1793
01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,333
That was close.
1794
01:32:32,630 --> 01:32:33,840
Oh, my!
1795
01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:36,965
No!
1796
01:32:37,051 --> 01:32:38,681
-Oh, God, Graeme.
-(GRAEME GROANlNG)
1797
01:32:38,761 --> 01:32:40,681
Graeme!
1798
01:32:40,763 --> 01:32:43,143
-l never meant to...
-Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs.
1799
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:44,774
Drop the fucking gun, Dad!
1800
01:32:45,101 --> 01:32:47,061
GRAEME: (SOBBlNG) Oh, no!
1801
01:32:47,145 --> 01:32:49,265
l really liked this T-shirt.
1802
01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:52,685
CLlVE: This is all my fault.
We should never have come on holiday.
1803
01:32:52,775 --> 01:32:56,025
No, no. lt's fine. lt's fine, Clive.
1804
01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,612
We've had a good time, haven't we?
1805
01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,777
Yeah. But you got shot.
1806
01:33:00,950 --> 01:33:05,790
Yeah, l know. But l can honestly say, Clive,
this is the most fun l have ever had.
1807
01:33:12,503 --> 01:33:14,133
Graeme?
1808
01:33:14,339 --> 01:33:15,629
(SOBBlNG)
1809
01:33:19,344 --> 01:33:20,434
CLlVE: Graeme?
1810
01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:22,678
Graeme?
1811
01:33:27,727 --> 01:33:29,227
l've gotta try, right?
1812
01:33:32,148 --> 01:33:34,568
-Yeah?
-No, no.
1813
01:33:38,863 --> 01:33:41,663
ZOlL: Paul, think about this.
1814
01:33:48,164 --> 01:34:03,434
(GRUNTlNG)
1815
01:34:11,104 --> 01:34:12,274
(GROANlNG)
1816
01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:30,582
(GASPS)
1817
01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,035
Paul!
1818
01:34:37,547 --> 01:34:38,837
Paul?
1819
01:34:52,061 --> 01:34:53,401
-(COUGHlNG)
-(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
1820
01:34:57,150 --> 01:34:59,900
Oh, that sucked. l don't even get to eat him.
1821
01:35:00,486 --> 01:35:01,646
(LAUGHS)
1822
01:35:05,992 --> 01:35:07,912
Wasn't that really, really dangerous?
1823
01:35:08,661 --> 01:35:12,291
Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
1824
01:35:12,665 --> 01:35:14,745
MOSES: lt's a miracle!
1825
01:35:14,834 --> 01:35:16,004
(LAUGHlNG)
1826
01:35:16,878 --> 01:35:20,838
The Lord has delivered his healing hand!
1827
01:35:20,923 --> 01:35:23,303
You can't win with these people.
1828
01:35:27,513 --> 01:35:31,733
-Sorry you got killed by my dad.
-That's fine.
1829
01:35:31,809 --> 01:35:35,019
-Do you want to try that kiss again?
-Fuck, yeah.
1830
01:35:40,151 --> 01:35:42,781
Well, what do you know?
The geek shall inherit the Earth.
1831
01:35:45,031 --> 01:35:46,031
Huh?
1832
01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:50,200
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)
1833
01:35:54,457 --> 01:35:55,867
-(COCKlNG GUN)
-Well, ain't this...
1834
01:35:56,375 --> 01:35:57,825
PAUL: Oh!
1835
01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:03,051
l changed my mind. That is Jenga.
1836
01:36:08,888 --> 01:36:10,428
(SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE)
1837
01:36:11,224 --> 01:36:12,894
lt feels better.
1838
01:36:22,944 --> 01:36:24,114
Okay?
1839
01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:28,490
RUTH: Oh, that's good.
1840
01:36:28,574 --> 01:36:30,994
-This is a nice one of you.
-Thank you.
1841
01:36:31,077 --> 01:36:32,407
Look, Mr. Buggs.
1842
01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:33,785
lt's been a hell of a ride, huh?
1843
01:36:33,871 --> 01:36:34,911
(LAUGHS)
1844
01:36:34,997 --> 01:36:36,247
Sorry l frightened the shit out of you.
1845
01:36:37,124 --> 01:36:40,254
You didn't frighten me. You freed me.
1846
01:36:40,711 --> 01:36:42,301
l'm glad.
1847
01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:44,421
Mmm. That's nice.
1848
01:36:44,924 --> 01:36:46,474
Thanks.
1849
01:36:51,472 --> 01:36:53,182
Hey, take care of her, big man.
1850
01:36:53,266 --> 01:36:56,096
Oh, l will, sir. And God be with you.
1851
01:36:56,185 --> 01:36:58,135
Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure.
1852
01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:04,442
Say bye to Karen for me.
1853
01:37:05,987 --> 01:37:07,607
Safe trip, Short Round.
1854
01:37:08,239 --> 01:37:09,489
Thanks.
1855
01:37:19,375 --> 01:37:22,375
-Oh, you're coming with me.
-What?
1856
01:37:22,461 --> 01:37:24,381
l ruined your life, Tara.
1857
01:37:24,463 --> 01:37:26,723
l think it's only right l give you a new one.
1858
01:37:27,633 --> 01:37:28,723
Oh.
1859
01:37:29,677 --> 01:37:31,507
l don't have my toothbrush.
1860
01:37:31,971 --> 01:37:36,311
Baby, where we're going,
you don't need teeth.
1861
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:41,613
(LAUGHS)
1862
01:37:41,814 --> 01:37:44,984
That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl.
1863
01:37:45,651 --> 01:37:48,191
Yeah, she's cool. She's with me.
Let her in. Yeah. No.
1864
01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:49,649
(SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE)
1865
01:37:53,367 --> 01:37:54,487
Gentlemen.
1866
01:37:54,577 --> 01:37:55,867
(EXHALES)
1867
01:37:56,996 --> 01:37:59,116
l meant to ask,
what did you think of the book?
1868
01:38:00,499 --> 01:38:02,669
l liked it, actually. l really liked it.
1869
01:38:02,752 --> 01:38:05,422
There's lot of good ideas in it.
1870
01:38:05,504 --> 01:38:08,634
l kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest.
1871
01:38:08,716 --> 01:38:11,426
Yeah. Yeah, me, too. (LAUGHS)
1872
01:38:11,510 --> 01:38:13,430
You know, as l always say,
1873
01:38:13,512 --> 01:38:16,772
"You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."
1874
01:38:18,059 --> 01:38:19,639
That's what Adam Shadowchild said.
1875
01:38:19,727 --> 01:38:22,187
That asshole! He stole that from me.
1876
01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:23,613
Huh.
1877
01:38:23,689 --> 01:38:26,859
-He was a bit of an asshole, actually.
-Yeah, he was.
1878
01:38:28,527 --> 01:38:31,987
-Keep it for the journey home, if you like.
-Oh, yeah. Definitely.
1879
01:38:34,325 --> 01:38:35,825
(SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE)
1880
01:38:38,371 --> 01:38:40,961
lt's safe to say
we've all learned something from this.
1881
01:38:41,040 --> 01:38:44,130
Be yourselves. Speak from your heart.
Some shit like that, l don't know.
1882
01:38:44,627 --> 01:38:48,337
Yeah, you know,
l certainly feel a bit different.
1883
01:38:48,422 --> 01:38:50,512
And me.
1884
01:38:51,092 --> 01:38:52,842
Thank you, guys.
1885
01:38:53,260 --> 01:38:56,510
-No, thank you.
-Yeah, thanks, Paul.
1886
01:38:57,682 --> 01:38:59,642
Hugs?
1887
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:00,925
Come on.
1888
01:39:04,146 --> 01:39:05,266
(SlGHlNG)
1889
01:39:05,982 --> 01:39:07,442
PAUL: Clive, l can feel your boner.
1890
01:39:13,948 --> 01:39:15,618
Till next time.
1891
01:39:22,039 --> 01:39:25,379
-So cool, isn't it?
-lt's amazing!
1892
01:39:27,920 --> 01:39:29,300
PAUL: Goodbye!
1893
01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:54,652
See you! Goodbye!
1894
01:40:00,494 --> 01:40:01,954
(SPACESHlP WHlRRlNG)
1895
01:40:02,038 --> 01:40:05,578
This ship takes off very slowly.
lt's a little awkward.
1896
01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:06,786
Goodbye!
1897
01:40:08,294 --> 01:40:10,304
Can you guys take off any faster? Come on!
1898
01:40:58,302 --> 01:40:59,552
(EXHALES)
1899
01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:01,546
Ah!
1900
01:41:02,723 --> 01:41:04,563
That was good, wasn't it?
1901
01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,731
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
1902
01:41:18,697 --> 01:41:19,817
MAN: Hey.
1903
01:41:24,829 --> 01:41:28,619
-WOMEN: Leias!
-Thank you. Cheers.
1904
01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:32,167
(SPEAKlNG ALlEN LANGUAGE)
1905
01:41:32,419 --> 01:41:33,499
Sorry. Who are you?
1906
01:41:34,880 --> 01:41:36,170
Someone who loves you.
1907
01:41:36,507 --> 01:41:39,717
Hey! l thought you were coming
as Wonder Woman today.
1908
01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:46,890
All right, would you please welcome
1909
01:41:46,976 --> 01:41:52,016
the team behind this year's
multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller.
1910
01:41:58,737 --> 01:42:00,777
By the way, these are friends of mine.
1911
01:42:01,490 --> 01:42:04,410
-l'm very proud of you, Graeme.
-l'm very proud of you, Sausage.
1912
01:42:04,952 --> 01:42:06,542
Come on.
1913
01:42:16,797 --> 01:42:19,667
Pat Stevens?
Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1 ?
1914
01:42:19,758 --> 01:42:20,878
The very same.
1915
01:42:20,968 --> 01:42:22,718
You know, l always pictured you taller.
1916
01:42:22,803 --> 01:42:25,513
-You should see me standing up.
-Oh, l'd like that.
1917
01:42:35,399 --> 01:42:37,569
l didn't realize you were so damn pretty.
1918
01:42:37,651 --> 01:42:39,191
You should see me
out of these crazy clothes.
1919
01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:41,318
l'd like that.
1920
01:42:42,072 --> 01:42:43,282
Mmm.
1921
01:42:45,117 --> 01:42:46,197
l can't.
1922
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:54,463
l understand, apparently,
they are citing me as the...
1923
01:42:55,502 --> 01:42:56,792
Well, fuck. You know...
1924
01:43:01,342 --> 01:43:04,892
Please welcome to the stage,
Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy.
1925
01:43:04,970 --> 01:43:06,100
-Give it up.
-(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)
1926
01:43:08,641 --> 01:43:11,141
BOTH: Three, two, one.
1927
01:43:11,644 --> 01:43:13,194
Congratulations.
1928
01:43:13,270 --> 01:43:14,730
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1929
01:43:17,650 --> 01:43:18,980
(EXCLAlMS)
1930
01:43:27,117 --> 01:43:28,697
O'RElLLY: Graeme! Clive!
1931
01:43:29,286 --> 01:43:31,866
Whoo! l know those guys!
1932
01:43:43,717 --> 01:43:44,717
(lNAUDlBLE)
1933
01:43:45,135 --> 01:43:46,175
(SlGHS)
1934
01:43:49,306 --> 01:43:51,016
-You!
-Hi.
129600
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