Original subtitles

On a full moon night

On the roof of the Forbidden City

A sword from the west

Flying fairy

You Fa Moon-lau and me, Luk Siu Fung

would be so glad to watch the duel of 2 great swordsmen

Yes. Sai Mun Tsui-suet & Yip Koo-shing's swords

haven't been shown yet but we can smell it

This sword is made by finest steel

its length is 3 feet 3 inches weight 6 catties and 4 taels

This sword is very sharp

Its length is 3 feet 7 inches weight 7 catties & 13 taels

Sai Mun Tsui-suet, do you have confidence to face my stance?

Mr. Yip, I'm ready

Fly...

Flying...

Fa...

Fairy!

Who are you?

How dare you fight on the roof top of the Emperor's house? Tell me your names

I'm Yip Koo-shing Master of the White Cloud Castle

Yip Koo-ching?

And... I'm a cool swordsman Sai Mun Tsui-suet

And me, Fa Moon-lau, the Blind Superman

And me, a lovely hero with 4 eye-brows. Luk Siu-fung!

What? Luk Siu-fung?

Lovely hero?

You know you're bothering 2 great swordsmen to have their duel?

Who are you?

Secret Agent Ling Ling Fat

I'm responsible to protect His Majesty and his properties

Listen, you old folks!

You are charged of breach of close

You're charged of illegal gathering, too

And haven't behaved yourselves in public area

Hey, don't call us old folks!

Great swordsmen may not always be handsome

Handsome heroes are just the expectations of ordinary people

Yes. Heroes will have bald head too

But not as ugly as you are!

Please give us a chance!

This is a precious secret scroll of Kung-fu

Take it. Uncuff us at once

You want to exchange your freedom with such poor book? Stop dreaming

Haven't you heard of my name?

Of course not! You're not that famous. Get lost

Young man better give us face. I'm Sai...

I don't care I won't give you face, anyway

Bastard! You'd respect the blind

Since you're blind, don't climb up!

Or, you'll fall to death, old man

You've gone too far! Once I attack with my Wonder Fingers...

Wonder Finger? I have one too. Got it? Better learn it

All of you, on the floor put your hands on your heads

I think you'll be put to jail not less than 10 years

I won't let you go this time

What a shame!

Pals, let's forget this ignorant guy

Let's choose another day for the fight

So powerful!

Members of the Secret Agent

Ling Ling Kung

Ling Ling Hei

Ling Ling Fat

Ling Ling Choi

We'll be your Majesty's loyal servants forever

We'll be your Majesty's loyal servants forever

Iron Clothe!

It breaks Yes...

Great!

Unbreakable Armor

Five Shapes Fists

Dragon

Snake

Tiger

Panther

Crane

Bravo!

What's up?

These 2 stones are found in the very North

There are 2 sides, with amazing power

If positive side face the positive side they'll reject each other

They can't stick together

If the positive side faces the negative side, they'll stick together

Very amazing!

It's a great discovery

I'd like to devote it to you

What's the use of it?

Girls, you need not sway the fan so hardly from now on

That two aren't attractive how about this?

Put these 2 leaves together

and move it with great speed

So strong wind will be created

If the weather is hot this new product would be wonderful!

Is Your Majesty interested in being a sole agent of my product?

Your Majesty, I've not given my subordinates good guidance

I'd be blamed!

Ling Ling Fat, behave yourself

I've got a way to defeat your Iron Clothe

Fat-yan

I'm coming

I've discovered that

if I put carbon Nitre and sulphur in a small space

say, inside one's mouth

And, one tiny steel ball is put in

When an explosion is happened inside

solid becomes gas form and the expansion creates great power

So the steel ball will be pushed out

The power is so great that it can break stone and metal

Iron clothe will become a mess

What did you say?

Great! Come here

Fat-yan, are you ready?

The only demerit of this weapon is...

high temperature will be caused

So Fat-yan's mouth must be under series of special training

say, eat hot dumplings as training step no. One

Or, drink very hot soup

Now, Fat-yan's mouth can stand temperature of 100�C

I tell you, he can eat hot shark-fin soup faster than anyone else

so, he can eat much more than us

But...

Kids should not learn this

Make it or not?

It's almost successful

I feel that my mouth has had gone

No, it becomes bigger only

How big is it?

Very big, don't worry

It's almost done!

Give me some time to amend it I think I can...

Shut up!

Please don't get angry

Fat, what are you doing?

Doing minor things

I'm asking you, what are you doing?

Just some inventions

Say! What're you doing?

What the hell are you doing? The Majesty is asking you

What're you doing? Say!

I just want to make new inventions

Come up! I want you to come up and tell me

Hurry up...

I'm coming soon

If your post wasn't from heritage

I would have fired you!

Now, get lost!

I let you cover yourself by acting as a doctor

But he chose to be a gynecologist!

What a shame!

You seldom practice Kung-fu

I don't know what you're doing at all

He didn't come for a meeting last night

Where were you last night?

I caught thieves on the roof top

What thieves?

I caught Yip Koo-shing Sai Mun Tsui-suet and Luk Siu-fung

Although they escaped

I got a secret scroll of Kung-fu instead

What's that?

A stance named Flying Fairy

Have you practiced?

Yes, I did a bit

Show me now

This is called Flying Fairy

He is fooling you, Your Majesty

Get up! Now! Quick! Stand right here!

I'm coming... Hurry up...

Don't pretend. Come up...

Coming

Come up! Coming!

Get out now!

I tell you

I don't want to see you again

and hear from you either!

Secret agent...

Great!

Great!

Doctor, I...

Let me give you some medicine?

Wait, let me tell you my symptoms first

You have to take medicine anyway, right?

Take the medicine

Pay now

Show her to the door

Doctor, I've come a long way here

Please listen to me first

Come on, please!

I'll let you say anything you like...

on your way home

Next

Doctor, I'm sick

Let me give you some medicine

My hands and legs are cold I feel dizzy too

Sometimes when I stand up after a squat I'll feel dizzy

Well, no medicine is needed

Go home and prepare for your funeral

Are you kidding me? Isn't it...

because of woman's period?

Or hormone changed after delivery?

What make you think so?

Well, you can tell it from the color of tongue

Well, how to cure you then?

It's simple

Use 1/2 tael of Tin Nam Sing 0.15 tael of Lily

0.2 tael of To Chow Sing, 0.08 tael of Si Kwan Chi, one teal of Ha Fu Tsoi

Plus winter flower, cook with light fire

Here they are boil with eight bowls of water

Drink it, then you'll recover soon

Thank you, doctor

Show doctor to the door

Ne...

Next?

Doctor, my heart aches!

Let me give you some medicine

My nasty husband has a concubine

He always beats me up!

I've suffered enough! Although a rude man brings extra excitement

I couldn't stand any more!

Doctor, are you rude?

It depends

Sometimes, I can be rude

Alright, my husband fools around I want to have a secret affair too

Come on!

Let me see how rude are you!

Honey!

What's the matter, honey?

This lady...

she wants my help

You know, I am a kind-hearted doctor

She comes a long way here just give her a hand

Miss, are you tired?

Do you want some noodle?

I am fine!

Honey, am I a good husband?

I have arrived, that's why you behaved!

If I am not present will you accept the temptation?

I swear!

I will!

You bastard!

Once again will you take the temptation! Tell me

Yes

Great

I am not afraid of it! You nuts!

I will not play with you if you bite!

Alright

I surrender! I surrender!

Hands off!

No! Or you will jump over!

I won't! I surrender!

My hand breaks! Honey hands off me please

I don't believe in you

It really breaks!

Sorry, hubby

You woman!

You are really good at Kung-fu

Master is so pleased!

I won't feel unhappy

What?

Do you know what's in my mind?

I have present for you

Remember you cut the onion few days ago

you chopped and chopped...

At last, you cut your finger

Now, I will give you this hand

So, you can use your own hand to catch this hand

And use this hand to hold the onion

Even you cut your hand it'll be a fake hand

Your own hand won't be hurt!

How can you make it?

Thank you, hubby!

Sweetie!

Honey!

Sweetie!

Honey!

You said, it's tough to clean the floor

Yes

Take this pair of shoes

After wearing it your legs will help you a lot

See, your legs will become groom & dust pan

And you can clean the floor while you are walking

Open your mouth

Put all the rubbish inside your mouth

No!

Wait

How do you feel?

Hubby, I think you are a great inventor

What else?

And...

I love you very much!

So...

Let's sleep

But I want to try this!

No, try this

It's rat!

This time, I'll use rat's movement to release power

And it will push the wheel to increase the power

then, it's powerful enough to move this!

It can support weight over 200 catties

How about the steam machine we used last time?

It's good, but when it is dried it will stop at once

Isn't this better?

You are right

But, something is missing

And this is the greatest breakthrough I've ever made

Now, we can choose different grade of speed for different needs

Look!

Honey, am I wonderful?

You are so cheap!

Sure!

Honey, what does that Rear mean?

That's backward!

Let me try

No!

Does it work?

Sure, I cook with this super turning shovel

Not even a drop of oil can dirty me

Sure, but I mean the air system machine!

That machine?

Show me once

It works, this is effective

And you can take this as practice

Yeah, it's good to health

Hubby

Honey

Hubby

Honey

Hubby

I'll let you play

Great

The one who is like a ghost has arrived

What's wrong with you?

Doctor...

Just between you and me!

It's enough for you to disguise as woman

It's not necessary for you to talk like a woman!

Being a member of the Forbidden City Cops

I should try my very best to cover my identity

Better be careful

Doctor...

Am I pregnant?

Yes, eat this for abortion

What else do you want to say?

Fat-yan said...

Don't talk like a woman

Fat-yan said...

Lie down, don't let me see your face

There is an important mission for you go back to the Headquarters

Better say earlier!

Fat, be smart

This important mission is counted on you

We have had banquets in the headquarters in these nights

if you can't clean all the dishes tonight

you will be put to jail

Here comes His Majesty

I've got a message that inside the territory of Gum Kingdom

Something mysterious happened last month that is

Oh, really?

A creature called Flying Fairy fell down from heaven

Thus, they called a meeting for all famous doctors in our country

In order to dissect the Flying Fairy

Dissect Flying Fairy?

Under the great leadership of Your Majesty

how come such ridiculous thing happens?

I am sure this is the trick of the cheaters

Do you still want to go?

Only the fool will be cheated!

I do want to take a look

You know it is ridiculous but Your Majesty still want to face it

you are so brave, so courageous!

Only under the leadership of such brave and smart emperor

our country will be prosperous and stable

Long life to Your Majesty

The people of Gum Kingdom are always cunning, it may be a trap

If you go, it may be dangerous

Forget it

If you don't finish washing these dishes you'll be more dangerous

But I have duty to remind Your Majesty

Long life to Your Majesty

Bravo

Kung Hei Choi, you will protect me

we will set out tomorrow

Yes

Long life Your Majesty

Fat, cut the crap

His Majesty doesn't want to hear your voice

If you say anything nonsense your head will be chopped off

Wash the dishes. Don't speak up...

Thank God, you are saved!

You wash my dishes

There must be conspiracy!

China is stable and prosperous

The beautiful women are specially beautiful

The handsome men are specially handsome

I do hope that our flag of Gum Sect

will be found on their soil

The Chinese soldiers are poor in health

The dissection of Flying Fairy is to gather the Chinese doctors

then, we will launch an attack to the Chinese troops

Since they have no doctors

our troops can march from the North to South with ease

It'll be a piece of cake for us to conquer China

You bastard, you look like a dummy

especially when you smile!

I don't know why you are so dummy looking!

Stop it!

I am like a dummy whenever I see you

When I see daddy I seem to be more foolish!

Don't you like my look?

Your dad ruined his face

because of practicing No Face's Stance!

A 2

I four

Got it?

Bingo

D 4 and 7

H 25

Got it?

Two Six

Try Two Five again

Two Five

Go back to 26

2 & 6

Got it?

Yes

Where do you feel itchy?

C 13468 plus D 1

And, A 2, E 4

Got it?

You are so stupid! You won't make it like this!

I am stupid, that's why you look smart

Please don't say I am smart

But your inventions are really wonderful

Who said so?

I said it

What's your name?

Lau

Who are you?

I am your wife

Shit!

Come on, don't scold me

You scolded me first

You are the only one who praises me but what's the use of it?

I don't care!

I think you are really great

You are great, that's why I praise you!

Don't you understand my words?

What do you want to say?

Don't you know it?

I have had a difficult job

But you will never know it

I don't know how hard your job is

But I believe that you are doing something good

Just scold whoever offended you

But never blame me as scapegoat

Since you are familiar with me

That's why I should be blamed?

I tell you!

Yes

So, you...

You can blame me instead?

Yeah!

So what? Why not leave home?

How do you know I am hiding under the table?

You always hide under the table

That's why I know you must be hiding under the table

Please use your brain to think!

Think a new place to hide!

So, I will have new excitement

But if I don't hide under the table I am afraid you can't find me

I can't stand it any more

Please don't! I beg you!

Honey, please don't do it again

I am a woman only but you always scold me

I am afraid I can't tolerate it any more

If you can't tolerate it, just leave me

I'm going to bath

I ask you to leave me alone!

Are you hungry?

I'll do you some noodle

Sorry, it's my fault

I lose my mind

Forget it

But why do you lose your temper?

There is an important medical meeting held in Gum Kingdom

But I am not qualified to join it

Who said so?

I said, you are qualified

I don't mind others disqualifying me

According to what you said

I can go now!

Stop!

What's the matter?

Some woodmen appear in such remote place

be careful of trick!

Who are you?

We're woodmen

Don't block my way

I am the Emperor

Get lost!

Don't disclose our identities on the way

I don't want others to know I am the Emperor

Got it?

Yes, Your Majesty

Let's go

Let's go

The leading guy is having long and soft breath

He must be a Kung-fu master who is good at Air Stance

The one with whip is having stable steps

He must be a great Kung-fu fighter

And the one, with strong arms

He must be a great Kung-fu fighter too

I think they must be the famous Forbidden City Cops

Iron Clothe, Unbreakable Armor and Five Shapes Fists

Three Forbidden City Cops are all here

the one inside the sedan chair must be the emperor

We do want to arrest some stupid doctors

God knows, here comes a king!

How lucky are we to have such good chance!

So what?

Protect me

It's great

So disgusting!

The participants can go into the hall now

Honey, the meeting is going to start

Let's go

I can't miss this chance!

First, cut the belly

Tear its skin

Pull the intestines out

Then, its shit spitted out...

So exciting!

Honey, there are new clothes for sale

I am going to buy some

How to meet you later?

After the meeting just go there to look for me

Alright

Don't wander off

Invitation card?

Invitation card?

This kind of invitation card

Please let me go, I am a doctor too

Are you a doctor?

Yes, I am a famous doctor

Alright, go in

Thank you, buddy

He doesn't know he is dying!

What?

Doctor... Doctor...

Doctor...

I've discovered that

I can make a medicine with polycodonis and honey

This liquor is best for chain smokers

It cures sore throat

You will get rich!

I've discovered a new kind of plant

After eating it, you will laugh and cry

the natives call this grass

You will get rich too

You can tell it's drug which harm people

Better keep it yourself

Don't take too much!

You are right

Do you have any now?

Give me some

Later...

This doctor... I haven't seen you before

Your hat is so interesting!

Where do you work?

I am a gynecologist in the capital

To treat women?

You are rich!

Ladies and gentlemen

How are you

Welcome here to watch the dissection of the Flying Fairy

This is a very precious chance

Now, this is solely shown to you

Where is His Majesty?

In order to let you see clearly

In five consecutive nights we will repeat, repeat and repeat...

to show you the process of the dissection

To let you see it clearly

No need...

And, we have invited the farmers who discovered it to this meeting

Let me now interview...

someone who witnessed the discovery of the fairy first

that's a dog

Its eye is so big

Will it be clearer?

Where is its wing? How can it fly then?

It's really weird!

Kidding! It is small or less the same as me

Right, as ugly as you

What are you doing?

I am checking its sex

It must be a girl

It is a girl

I know she is pregnant

What are you doing?

I am checking it's a man or a woman

Don't mess up!

Any gynecologist here?

He is

Move, move now

Why not... Give her some medicine?

Do you know dissection?

I know

Take this cutter and start working

I won't give it a damn

But, may I use this?

Don't move

Do you know how to dissect?

Cut from the throat let the blood drain out first

I know it already

Come on

In fact, I am not a doctor

I am a butcher

You coward, you needn't find excuse

Let me do it

Have you fixed yet?

Good question, I've just fixed it

Wait

What's up?

His Majesty!

I know it's you!

Who chopped me?

Someone chopped you?

That's him!

But that is his sword

You bastard!

I want to chop you twice

What's wrong?

Why do you hold the sword?

Stay calm

Yes! There is conspiracy!

Conspiracy?

Your Majesty

I, Ling Ling Fat will protect you

My sword is sucked away, so powerful

Come on, one for each one

Your Majesty, you first

Wait

Don't despise us

We earn our living by holding swords too Yes!

Don't get angry, drink some water first

All dead!

What kind of monster is it?

Try my Lo Chiu's Sword Stance

I wanna kill you! Give me

This is my sword!

Let's attack from both sides OK

So great!

Stop!

Are you kidding?

Why do you always beat me?

Boss

Your feet betrayed you

Don't you think I am a fool?

Hurry...

Watch me!

I know, same sex will reject each other

Fat, how are you?

This magnet is really great

Shit!

Different sex attracts each other

Are you kidding?

Yeah!

Fat, you're really something

Thank you. Your Majesty we'd better leave

OK, let's go!

Leave now

Honey

Your wife has come too?

Introduce her to me

Go back first, here is so dangerous

Why there is one living?

Is there any accident happened to my son?

Where is my wife!

Search! Many people are lying on the floor!

Cut the crap, kill him

No matter where you're hiding you have to be killed

Kill him

What the hell is it?

Kidding?

Hubby

Hubby

Same costume! Why?

Honey

Hubby

Where have you been?

I met a friend who lives in the next village

There is a crazy sale in next village so I went for shopping with her

What are you doing here?

I am... looking for you

Is there a fire?

We have had barbecue here

Barbecue?

Yes, roast chicken wings

Why do they lie on the floor?

They are full, it's nice to have a rest

What's wrong with you?

You ate with violence, didn't you?

What the hell is it?

All people fought for one chicken wing!

I fought with all my might that's the result

Don't you think I am nuts?

He...

Honey

You...

Where do you get this?

This?

If you like it, just take it

I don't mean it

and I don't want to take your advantage

If I want it I will ask my husband to buy me one

He is damn rich

I want to tell you that this doesn't match you

The color is no good

You have a big belly this kind of clothes doesn't fit you

We may have a look in the shops of the nearby village

Let's go, let's have a look

My wife

She has fashion sense

Yes, she is nice

Brother Fat

Come on...

Come on...

Hubby, you have laughed since you are back

What make you feel so happy?

This morning I saw a fat woman fall into water ditch

A fat woman fell into water ditch? What is so funny?

Fat woman!

Water ditch!

Honey

In all these years...

Listen to me

Go ahead

We have had poor living

Don't you mind it?

It depends on you

If you don't mind eating the food I cooked

I don't mind too

In all these years

other than great inventions

I haven't sent anything say diamond to you

Why don't you complain against me?

Sure. I have complaints

That super groom

I have to clean the floor with two legs

My hands are free

So, I have to clean the window with one hand

another hand to wash clothes

It's so troublesome!

You've discovered that!

Yeah...

And your air system

What's wrong?

I don't want to waste time to complain it drives me crazy

Sure it will

What diamond have you hidden?

Take it out now

Honey

How are you?

Did you rob?

No, I didn't

I cured a man who is damn rich

He paid much money as medical fee

That's why I bought it to you

Honey!

Don't come over. Leave me alone

Are you alright?

I'm too happy, I can't control myself

So pretty

I love you, honey

I love you too

Forever

Fat, I heard that in the biggest prostitute in town

there is a new girl called Gum Tso who came from Gum Kingdom

Her name is so beautiful! It fancies me!

Go and check her background

If she is OK, take her to me

Are you kidding, Your Majesty?

How can you let me carry such nice mission?

You are the fellow I trust most you know?

And, everyone knows you are a good husband

You won't take my woman

So, you are the appropriate person to take this job

May I be frank

Your Majesty you have many concubines already

Why do you still want an affair?

You... The beauties have arrived!

Now, you understand?

Sure!

Your Majesty, please tolerate

I...

I will fix it as soon as possible

Bastards, who do you think you are!

We're high-class night club You think we're prostitute?

Members only!

Take enough money if you want to join our club

Damn it, I've fooled around for years

I haven't experienced such embarrassing moment

Let's ask someone to ruin this place

Shut up

Damn it!

I am the procuress

Granny, do you wanna sell your daughter to us?

Let me take a look at her first

She is beautiful

Look

So?

I wanna beat someone up

Can I slap her heavily?

Don't be so mean you have to give others face anyway

You wanna beat me I do wanna hit you hardly with rod too

Damn it how can you talk to me in this way?

The girls here are all as pretty as angels

Especially the girls from Gum Kingdom

You won't believe it

big eyes, tall nose, little mouth

Ask them to come out for a comparison

She is much more beautiful than you!

Get lost now!

Or, I will slap you! I mean it

She is coming out

The beauty from Gum Kingdom is coming out

Miss

May I?

What's up?

You stand here without making a noise!

Don't you know dancing or don't you know talking?

I don't know you

I am Gum Tso

Fat, so many women around!

Fat...

Honey!

Hubby, you're back!

Hubby I've made a clothe for my birthday party

Isn't it pretty

It's good looking!

I invite many relatives and friends to have dinner with us!

Remember to come home earlier!

Remember?

Hubby I can smell fragrance from your body

Wonderful nose you have! I bought you cosmetics!

Why do you buy me cosmetics?

For your birthday!

Good boy!

Have a bath first!

Alright, let's bath together!

I have bathed. Go bathing now

Better bath again You go alone

I am the procuress welcome to be our new member

Seeing you...

I have something, very, very...

Strange feeling that...

Say, you feel like slapping me

Right...

Right...

Correct

Correct

Is Miss Gum Tso here?

Sure!

I want to see her at once

Do you want to see her?

They are wishing to see Miss Gum Tso too

Line up, don't you think a handsome & smart guy need not line up?

How can you tell I am smart?

I can tell you are sincere

and kind-hearted, too!

It's lucky to have a friend like you

Shit! You can tell it too

I have to treat you dinner!

Sure you have to

Line up!

Bastard!

Miss Gum Tso, I've waited you for ages!

Stay calm...

Miss Gum Tso wishes to treat you a drink

Take a glass over there

I want one

Miss Gum Tso, a toast to you

It's nasty. What's this?

Good wine!

What a nice wine it makes one lose his mind!

This must be an old wine of over 100 years old

I believe that this is tribute from foreign country

Isn't it so precious?

Are you exaggerating, Pal?

You are totally wrong!

You drink it without tasting it

Even it isn't wine

you can never tell its taste!

Wine is like woman you have to try it by some means.

Can anyone lend me his tongue?

Any longer one?

Right

The taste buds are on the surface of our tongues

Not under

The sweet taste buds are in front

The bitter taste buds are near the throat

Don't make it too deep

Alright, I'll place it in front

The sour taste bud is on both sides of the tongue

So, when we taste good wine

roll the tongue

you need more practice

So, you can stop the wine meeting the sour taste bud

And let the wine floats between bitter and sweet taste buds

Sweet first, and then bitter...

Just like...

the sense of first love

Congratulation, Gum Tso would like to meet you in the sitting room

Miss Gum Tso... Don't be anxious

Why don't you...

You seem to have sore throat

Are you missing your wife?

How do you know that?

Chinese people usually have early marriage

You seem to be mature and trustable

I guess, you must have married for years

You are flattering me

You don't seem to be Chinese

I come from Gum Kingdom

Do you have racial discrimination?

No way, don't be silly

Miss, you seem...

You are fat, and you are thin

You are bored

Give me a surprise

Do you want any surprise?

Do you have any?

Don't despise me

Take it out

Do you want me to take it out?

Come on

This is for you

So pretty! Thank you

You are really different!

Usually, when the girls see such precious pearl

either they will scream

or, some will die because of too much excitement

You don't value material life at all you are really...

Really different!

Mister, do you have time to stay?

To have a long talk?

My wife has prepared dinner I don't think it's good for me to stay

Why do you come then?

Even cats will be motivated by such atmosphere!

Do you know what the cat is talking?

That cat said

Don't bother me, mom will scold me

Why do you hurt yourself?

It brings excitement!

So amazing!

There are many amazing things you haven't tried that before

If you stay

I will try my very best

to make your all eyes

I can't do that

I am married, I love my wife

Although I wish to do it I have to control myself

Well, I won't give it a damn!

Come on...

A good husband is hard to find in the world

Since you are thinking of your wife

I won't push you

Send Mister to the door

Yes

Wait... Please leave

No, I've just made up my mind...

Please go back

So bad! I have halfly undressed!

Give me a chance!

Forget it, Mister

Miss Gum Tso

Cheers...

Sweet wine...

Hubby, what's wrong with you?

I haven't been that smart

There isn't any rice in your bowl

Hubby, I've discovered that the cosmetic you sent me that night

doesn't smell like those found from your body

Didn't I tell you?

That's made by a thing called Magic Musk

The smell will change according to different timings

At night, it stinks

No, it doesn't stink

It stinks

On that day you sent me a very big pearl

I do want to show off tonight

But I couldn't find it out at all

Do you know where is it?

This is life

If you want to find something anxiously

you can never find it

If you are smart, you need not find it

cause it will show up later

Father-in-law, have the chicken ass

I remember

Why did you go to the prostitute house on that day?

Prostitute house?

Yes, prostitute house

What did you say?

I saw him visiting hookers

Listen to me

Wait

Don't lie to me

I can tell it's true or not easily

Hooker is woman, she will get sick

As a gynecologist I went there for treatment

It's nothing weird

Daughter, is his heart beating fast?

No

That's good

Sorry, hubby

You are too bad for you don't trust me at all

It's fragrant! Can you smell it?

Miss, who are you looking for?

I come here to buy herb

Do you have any chiretta (means home coming in Chinese)?

Are you in urgent need? Come later

I love a man very much

He hasn't come to me for many days

I come to buy chiretta which means home coming in Chinese

for I really want him to come back this night

Miss, I suggest you to buy Tu-wo (means living alone)

Living alone, don't bother others

You have a kind of special smell I smelt once!

Yes, this perfume is called Hooking Soul

Only I have this kind of special perfume in town

It is an amazing perfume to seduce man, right?

But I can't hook the man I love

No matter how hard I torture myself

he just brushes me off and comes here to have dinner with his wife

So, I come here to see his wife

Today is my daughter's birthday

Don't mess up here

You have seen what you want now

So pretty

Prettier than you

Send her to the door

Madam

Today is your birthday!

I haven't any present

But, why not take this little thing as my present?

Are you kidding?

Right, when you don't want to find it it will show up itself

Are you kidding? You sent it to her?

This is your present to me how I can send it to others?

What is your relationship? Tell me

By the way, it seems to be clear!

You bastard!

How can you treat my daughter like this? Are you a man?

Granny, don't be angry

Give me back the pearl

Madam, don't be excited!

You bitch, I wanna kill you!

Don't move Don't move

If you hurt her, I will kill you

If you hurt me, I will kill him

None of my business, lady!

Stop her now

Bitch!

Drop the horse down

What did you say, honey?

Drop the horse

You scared my friend

You lied

You said you would love me forever

You lied too

You said you were born in the year of rabbit

but you were born in the year of tiger, you are older than me

You lied, you lied!

Drop the horse

Don't throw me while I am not paying attention

I can tell your trick

Drop it, now!

Are you alright?

I am fine

Sorry to ruin your party

All because I wish to see you very much

I am too bad, I am leaving

I will go with you

It's nonsense for me to stay in such nonsense family

Go

Hubby

Are you hungry? Let me cook noodle for you

Wait

What a shame!

Don't get angry let's go back to my place

I will do that with you

That?

That's what you want

You are inhumane!

Oh my God!

We have become a couple at last

On this stormy night we will enjoy ourselves!

You look cheap

You haven't seen my cheaper look

Alright, listen to me

I have had hard feeling

Your wife felt so sad

For you, I can sacrifice my wife as well as my life

Don't say anything nonsense

I don't want to cheat you

I am a Forbidden City Cop my duty is to protect His Majesty

I came here for His Majesty is fond of you

He wants me to check your background

You don't check me you just want to screw me

You are betraying His Majesty

But I can't help loving you

Forget about him!

Ling Ling Fat!

Luckily you have come on time

Did you hear everything?

You!

If she didn't write to His Majesty

we wouldn't have known that you betrayed His Majesty

You...

In order to trap him

I don't mind risking my virginity

Your Majesty, if you come a bit late

I don't know what will happen!

You...

Ling Ling Fat, your family will have capital punishment, you know?

Your Majesty, I...

Catch him

Your Majesty, why do you cuff me?

Your trap is really great!

You want me to break my family

Then you make His Majesty kill me

You will kidnap him to blackmail the government

Then your troop will move from the North to take over our country

It seem to be a piece of cake

Damn!

But, you remember the pearl

which fancies all women in the world?

When you received that pearl, you didn't feel excited, that's why I know

you are not a woman

Who is my foe?

And who will undergo such fantastic plastic surgery?

Only a faceless old folk will do it

King of no face, you bastard!

I hate others to cheat me by pretending as woman!

Especially disguising as such pretty woman to seduce me!

Luckily Fat is so smart!

He disclosed your secret

Your Majesty

Don't trust him!

He wanted to screw me so he brushed his wife off

and he even beat his wife up in front of me

He isn't a man at all

In order to trap you

my family performed a show in front of you

Dear audience

The best actress

In the play

she acted very well that

no matter judging from her eyes

or movement

she could express how a sad wife feels

Especially when she threw the horse

it shows a strong protest originated from post modernism

Let us see how she threw the horse again

Watch! Watch!

Mrs. Fat, congratulation...

Thank you

First of all, I have to thank my parents

Since they have been supporting me

And I have to thank my husband

He gave me chance to act

We had rehearsed many many times

So, this award is yours too

Hubby, thank you

Alright, let's present the final award of this night

I believe that, you can guess it. Right

The best actor is...

Ah Fat's father-in-law

Wonderful!

This award should go to me

I did see him visiting the prostitute house!

Please wait. I am sorry

I am the leading man!

You can tell I have done a great job

Why do you present the award to him?

Your acting is quite good but not mature

Say, when your wife heard your heart beat

your expression was a bit exaggerated

That's the point of view of ordinary audiences!

You won't be that ignorant?

No, when I heard your heart beat

I couldn't feel any response from you

I felt that, you couldn't concentrate in acting

You didn't act well indeed

You...

Be fair

Just one word

You don't know acting

Shut up! Gum Tso's sex is still a doubtful question

How can you present awards here?

It's a mess

Your Majesty, I...

Be careful of your nostril hair

I am a person who is willing to die for you

Let me use my body

to check whether Gum Tso is a woman or not

Get lost

Be careful!

Ling Ling Fat you killed my wife and my son

Even I can't kill your family

I want to kill you too

Neither of you can go

Protect His Majesty

Fat-yan, take the Box of Treasure to me

Catch it

Why did you ask me to throw it to you?

Game over!

I am sorry

It doesn't hurt!

But the one next to you is in bad luck

That's No-face Stance

It can transfer energy

Pal, are you alright?

I am scared

But I am fine

I feel comfortable

It's not painful at all

So, I won't give it a damn

Let me do it

Pal, didn't you say comfortable?

It's really comfortable

Forget it

You'd better beat that guy

I have to think something else

Forget it, please hit me

It's not predictable

No color, no face, long life to stay!

I am the supreme of the world!

Who is it?

My dear sister

We all rely on you!

Soul Changing Stance

I feel dizzy, I can't stand it anymore

It's cheap! Who do you want to scare?

Don't you think such chain can lock me up?

It's not for locking you it's used to connect the lightning-rod

You said, we will enjoy ourselves on a stormy night

I'll let you try a wonderful thunder storm

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah...

Don't move!

Fly...

Flying...

Fa...

Fairy

The thunder hit Fat

So it transform his cells

During the process he gained extra power

So, he can release the power of Flying Fairy

At that moment, it seems that there was a flying fairy in the sky

Isn't it illusion caused by air crash

or am I drunk?

Of course you are drunk

So, you have drunk much more than me

I am drunk everyday

It's strange why hasn't Fat come to work today?

Brother Fat, where are you?

We can't live without you

Brother Fat, come back!

Hubby, it's so great!

Your new invention can let us fly freely in the sky

Let us name it...

Helicopter, isn't it nice?

No, this isn't a good name

Why not name it...

Air air air air air O Plane?

You are so smart, honey

If not, how can I be your honey?

Hubby, let's fly again

So romantic! Yes

I want to have a baby with you

Really? Really

Alright, let's go home and make love

No way, I can't wait

Let's do it here!

You can't be serious Come on!