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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,508 - Hey. - Hey. 2 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,929 - What are you guys doing up? - We wanted to finish the crossword before bed. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,766 Do you know a six-letter word for "red"? 4 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,102 Dark-red. 5 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:25,774 I think that's wrong, but there's a connect-the-dots in here for you later. 6 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,111 Hey, how, uh, about maroon? 7 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,865 - Yes! You are so smart! - Ha-ha-ha. 8 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,408 Aw. 9 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,076 You guys are so cute. 10 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,953 I know. 11 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,205 All right. I'll see you in the morning. 12 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,999 Okay. 13 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,139 You know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you, honey. 14 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,348 Oh, me too. 15 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,976 - Now, let's finish this and go to bed. - Okay. 16 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,603 There's only one left. 17 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,273 Three-letter word. Not dog, but... 18 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,151 Cat. 19 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,737 Yes. Ha. 20 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,031 You are so smart! 21 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,242 I love you. 22 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,911 I love you too. 23 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,143 Uh. 24 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,727 We still need a tip. 25 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,438 All right. Hold on. 26 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,399 I got it. 27 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,693 Nickel. 28 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,445 - How much more do we need? - Couple of bucks. 29 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,573 Okay, dime. 30 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,034 You guys should probably keep talking. This could take a while. 31 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:42,870 Wait, lookit! 32 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,413 Whoa! 33 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,456 Oh, my God. This is a police badge! 34 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:50,961 Oh, cool. But why would a cop come in here? They don't serve doughnuts. Ha. 35 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,256 Can you discover the badge again? 36 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,884 I think I can come up with something better than that. 37 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,345 I bet somebody's missing that badge. 38 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,640 I should take it back. Ooh, but while I'm at the police station... 39 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,809 ...I could check their Ten Most Wanted list. 40 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,938 My friend Fritzi's been Number 11 forever. This could be her year! 41 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,568 - Hey, you guys. - Hey, Joey. 42 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,070 - Hey. - Hey. 43 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,656 Is that my sweatshirt? 44 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,285 Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I borrowed it. I was cold. I hope it's okay. 45 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,914 It's just that, uh, if you wear someone's sweatshirt... 46 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,416 ...shouldn't it be your boyfriend's? 47 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,251 And I'm not him. 48 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,046 I'm sorry. I'll give it back. 49 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,464 No, no. No. 50 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,258 It's going to be all smelling like Monica. 51 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,302 Are you saying I smell bad? 52 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,511 No. 53 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,931 You smell like a meadow. 54 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,226 I'm sorry. 55 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,480 What's with him? 56 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:56,068 The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter. 57 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,754 I still don't know. 58 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,883 I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I bought the right couch, one that says: 59 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:24,388 "Kids welcome here," but that also says 60 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,890 "Come here to me." 61 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,604 What? You say that to kids? 62 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,064 No, no, no. 63 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:38,735 The "Come here to me" is, you know, for the ladies. 64 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,739 Ross, honey, it's a nice couch, not a magic couch. 65 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,076 Well, you picked a great couch. 66 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,327 - Yeah? - Yeah. 67 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,996 - Sign here please. - Sure. 68 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,456 Oh, what's, heh...? 69 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,084 The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch! 70 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,212 That's ridiculous. He lives three blocks away. 71 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,424 You know what? I'll take it myself. Thank you. 72 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,759 All right, Rach, come on. Let's go. 73 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,303 Yeah. 74 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,268 Are you kidding? 75 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:16,231 Come on. It's only three blocks. Uh, it's not very heavy. Try it. 76 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,655 - Oh, I can do it. - Yeah. 77 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,491 You two will really enjoy that couch. 78 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,411 We're, uh, not together. 79 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,455 Oh, okay. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha. 80 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,415 Something didn't quite add up there. 81 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,213 Ross. 82 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,174 - What's that supposed to mean? - Ross. 83 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,469 Well, you. Her. Heh. 84 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,471 I mean, she's very... 85 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,930 ...you know. 86 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,807 And you're, like... 87 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,809 ...you know? 88 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:59,191 Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out. 89 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,650 Really? You two? 90 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860 Yeah. Rach? 91 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,572 I don't want to do this now. I'm carrying a heavy couch. 92 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,075 Then tell him quickly. 93 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,535 Fine. We went out. 94 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,996 Not only did we go out... 95 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,124 ...we did it 298 times! 96 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,001 Ross. 97 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,045 Oh, my... 98 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,091 Ugh, you kept count? You are such a loser! 99 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:29,096 A loser you did it with 298 times! 100 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,435 Oh. Oh! 101 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,940 Excuse me, ma'am. You can't put your cigarette out on a tree. 102 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,817 Yeah, I can. It worked well. 103 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,737 But you shouldn't. So don't ever do that again. 104 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,865 I won't till I have my next cigarette. 105 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,325 Hold it! 106 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,494 NYPD. Freeze, punk! 107 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,121 What? 108 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,916 That's right. You are so busted. 109 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,334 Book them. 110 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,089 - Who are you talking to? - Save it, red! 111 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,385 Unless you want to spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree. 112 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,430 I am not going to apologize to a tree. 113 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,642 You apologize to the tree right now, or I am calling for backup. 114 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,312 Backup! Backup! 115 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,189 I'm sorry! Sorry! 116 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,526 Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup! 117 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,487 Okay. 118 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,574 Didn't you say there was, um, an elevator in here? 119 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:34,119 Uh, yes, I did, but there isn't. Here we go! 120 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,205 Okay, go left. 121 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,541 Left. Left. 122 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,128 Okay, you know what? There's no more left left. 123 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,047 Lift it straight up over your head. 124 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,592 Straight up over your head. You can do it! 125 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,010 You can do it! 126 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,179 - Okay. You got it? - Yeah. 127 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,680 - Go, go. - Good, good. 128 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,016 You got it, right? You got it, right? You got... 129 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,816 Any chance you think the couch looks good there? 130 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,611 This guy was all... 131 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,906 And I'm all, "Buffay! Homicide!" 132 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,409 It was just so cool! Ha-ha-ha. 133 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,870 Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back. 134 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,414 I know, but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds. 135 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,543 Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You can get arrested. 136 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,254 You could get arrested right now! 137 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,761 All right, yeah, I'd better take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. 138 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,433 - Hey. - Hey. 139 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,644 Oh. 140 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,396 Hi, Joe. 141 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,274 Yeah. I didn't know you guys were gonna be here. 142 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,069 - Do me a favor, sweetie. Taste this. - What? Why? 143 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,030 - What is going on with you? - Nothing. 144 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,949 You've been acting strange all day. 145 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,619 All right. There is something. I, uh... 146 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,747 I kind of had a dream. 147 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,875 But I don't want to talk about it. 148 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,003 Oh, whoa. What if Martin Luther King had said that? 149 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,258 I kind of have a dream. 150 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,386 I don't want to talk about it. 151 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,390 Look, it involved Monica. 152 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,434 You had a dream about a girl I'm seeing? Oh, that is so cool. 153 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,895 I can't tell you how many times I dreamt about a girl he was seeing. 154 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,732 Anyway, we were talking about your dream. I love you. Your dream? 155 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,403 Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it. I haven't dreamt about her like that... 156 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,197 ...since I found out about you two-ish. 157 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,453 What was the dream about? 158 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,956 Well, okay. 159 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,043 You were my girlfriend. We were doing the crossword puzzle. 160 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,087 Like you guys were doing last night. 161 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,465 So that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out. 162 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,428 Joey, come on. That doesn't mean that you're in love with me. 163 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,138 It doesn't? 164 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,140 It could mean anything. Like, uh... 165 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,768 ...all of a sudden you're jealous that I've become the apartment stud. 166 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,479 Kind of sounds like your dream, dude. 167 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:13,612 Or it could mean you saw Chandler and me together, being close and stuff... 168 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,156 ...and you just wanna have that with someone too. 169 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,783 In the dream I did enjoy the closeness. 170 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,452 Okay, look. 171 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,953 Are you attracted to Monica? 172 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,414 Right here, right now, are you attracted to her? 173 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,836 - Not really. - There you have it! 174 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,465 Heh. Well, sure! I'm just wearing sweats! 175 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,051 But that's good! 176 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:39,387 You're not in love with me. You just want a girlfriend. 177 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,098 No, I don't think it's just about getting a girlfriend. 178 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,725 Yeah, I could get a girlfriend. 179 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,062 Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crossword puzzles. 180 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,106 But are we ever gonna have the closeness like you guys have? 181 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:54,611 Monica and I were friends before we started dating. Maybe that's it. 182 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,696 Friends first? 183 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,573 That's interesting. 184 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:03,370 - You become friends after? - No, never done that either. 185 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,915 Um, do you guys have a tape measure? 186 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,833 Oh, yeah. It's actually in my bedroom. 187 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,253 That's right. 188 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,893 What's up, Joey? 189 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,231 How you doing? 190 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,368 - Excuse me. Is this your car? - Yeah. 191 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,746 Well, I don't think it's nice of you to park here. You're blocking the entrance. 192 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,915 Don't worry about it. It's not a problem. 193 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:54,045 It's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you because I'm a cop. 194 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,757 So am I. 195 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,761 Oh, no. 196 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,058 Oh, okay. So you're a cop. You can park anywhere. 197 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,269 I know that because I'm a cop too. 198 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,021 All right. Keep up the good work. Ten-four. 199 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,899 Wait a second. So, what precinct are you with? 200 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,694 I'm with the, um, the 57th. 201 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,197 - I know a guy in Homicide up there. - I'm in Vice. 202 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,909 In fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore. 203 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,038 Who else is in Vice up there? 204 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,999 Um, do you know, um... 205 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500 ...Sipowitz? 206 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,336 Sipowitz? No, I don't think so. 207 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,757 Yeah. Sipowitz. Yeah. Big guy, kind of bald. 208 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,967 I don't know him. 209 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,472 Don't try to call him or anything. Because he's not there. He's out. 210 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,266 His, um, partner just died. 211 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,312 Tell Sipowitz I'm real sorry for his loss. 212 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,939 I sure will. Take care. 213 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,776 Hey, by the way, I'm sure Sipowitz is gonna be all right. 214 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,987 I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. 215 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,742 Where'd you find my badge? 216 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,494 Oh! 217 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,340 Hey, Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch? 218 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,468 Aw, I'd love to but I got acting class. But you know what? 219 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,179 I guess I could blow that off for you. 220 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,352 Thanks. 221 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,648 Uh, let me ask you something. I was talking with Monica and Chandler. 222 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,691 Boy, they are really tight. 223 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:39,901 I know. 224 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,195 That's not a bad situation they got over there. 225 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,905 Mm-mm. 226 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,449 Thinking of getting me one of those. 227 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,371 What's up, Joe? 228 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,916 The reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great... 229 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,752 ...is because they were friends first, you know? 230 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:02,298 So I asked myself, who are my friends? You and Phoebe. 231 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,884 I saw you first, so... 232 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,804 - Heh. - Mm-hm. 233 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,517 - What are you saying? - I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch. 234 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,939 You know, honey, um... 235 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,483 ...as, uh, flattered as I am... 236 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,361 ...that you saw me first... 237 00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:28,032 ...uh, I just don't think we should be cranking anything up. 238 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,702 I'll treat you real nice. 239 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,876 Oh! 240 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,628 Yeah. Well, you know, um... 241 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:46,718 Listen, I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date. 242 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:51,097 But I think the way you do it is you meet someone, become their friend... 243 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,767 ...build a foundation, then ask them out on a date. 244 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,520 Don't hit on your existing friends. 245 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,941 Won't that take longer? 246 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,235 Yeah. Yeah. 247 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,321 Oh, but once you find it... 248 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,740 ...it's so worth the wait. 249 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,909 Yeah. 250 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,160 I understand. 251 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,162 Good. 252 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,873 Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first. 253 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,711 Come here to me. 254 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,924 No, no. You come here to me. 255 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,302 Hey, Ross. 256 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,513 - Ahem, I brought reinforcements. - Oh, great! You brought Joey? 257 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,223 I brought the next best thing. Heh. 258 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,975 Hey. 259 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,521 You brought Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica! 260 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:45,526 I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so... 261 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,613 Look, I drew a sketch of how we'll do it. 262 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,740 Rach, that's you. 263 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,951 That's the couch. 264 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,244 Oh, what's that? 265 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,955 Oh, that's me. 266 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,916 Wow. 267 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,670 Certainly think a lot of yourself. 268 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,298 No. That's my arm. 269 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,765 Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch. 270 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,645 Just follow my lead. 271 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,480 Okay. 272 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,941 Come on, Chandler. 273 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,275 Ah. 274 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,777 - All right. - Okay. 275 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,238 Here we go. 276 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,864 All right. Ready? 277 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,199 - Yeah. - Yeah. 278 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,450 - Turn! - Okay. 279 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,660 Turn! 280 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,245 Turn! 281 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:42,208 - I don't think we can turn anymore! - I don't think it'll fit! 282 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,378 Yeah, it will. Come on! Up, up, up! 283 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,463 Up! Yes! 284 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,966 Here we go! Pivot! 285 00:16:50,676 --> 00:17:01,894 Pivot! 286 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,189 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 287 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,612 I don't think it's gonna pivot anymore. 288 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,156 You think? 289 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,245 All right, let's, uh, bring it back down and try again. 290 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,622 Oh. 291 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,833 Whoa. 292 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,881 I think it's really stuck now. 293 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:35,011 - I can't believe that didn't work. - I know. Me neither. 294 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,971 I mean, you had a sketch. 295 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,476 What did you mean when you said "pivot"? 296 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,398 - Hey. - Hey. 297 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,193 How's it going? Did you make any new friends? 298 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,945 Yeah. I met this woman. 299 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,906 Hey. Whoa, whoa. 300 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,657 What's she like? 301 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,534 Uh, well, she's... 302 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,036 ...really good in bed. 303 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,790 I thought you were going to try to be friends first. 304 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,126 - Hey, it's all your fault. - What? Why? 305 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,463 You didn't give me advice. You gave me a pickup line. 306 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,467 I told her I wanted to "build a foundation and be friends." 307 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:19,430 Suddenly, through no fault of my own, I became irresistible to her! 308 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,808 And her roommate! 309 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,728 What about the "closeness"? 310 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:30,441 Closeness, schmosness! There was three of us, for crying out loud! 311 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,781 Who wants pizza? 312 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,366 I do! I do! I do! 313 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:42,954 This is great! Can you believe I found this on the second floor? 314 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,917 - Who is it? - NYPD. 315 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,169 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 316 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,964 Uh, just a minute, officer! 317 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,310 - I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay. - My God, it's him! It's that cop! 318 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,523 - I can't believe he found me! - Are you going to go to jail? 319 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,901 If I'm going down, you guys are going down with me. 320 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,448 Harboring a fugitive? That's one-to-three years minimum. 321 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,742 Good luck, Chandler. 322 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:29,208 You can arrest me, but you'll never make it stick and you know it. 323 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,753 I kind of don't have a choice, it's my job. You understand, right? 324 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,715 Yeah, as long as you understand that I'm gonna call my lawyer. 325 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,802 And once he puts you on the stand, he's gonna make you look like a fool! Like a fool! 326 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,598 I don't like looking foolish. 327 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:48,227 Maybe, uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here. 328 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,605 I would love it if I weren't here! 329 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,359 Since, um, you're not going to jail tonight, I was wondering if you'd, um... 330 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,820 ...like to go to dinner with me? 331 00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,780 - Me? - Yeah. 332 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:03,784 Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kind of can't stop thinking about you. 333 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,830 You're the prettiest fake undercover whore I've ever seen. 334 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,417 Nice. 335 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,923 Wow, I didn't see that coming. You're asking me out. 336 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:20,551 Yeah, I could've done it better, but these people keep staring at me. 337 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,972 Um, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, officer. 338 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,600 - Gary. - Gary. 339 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,769 - Okay, so it's a date. - Yeah. 340 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,563 I gotta ask you, though. How did you know where to find me? 341 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,900 Your fingerprints were all over my badge so I ran them through the computer. 342 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,778 This was listed as your last known address so I checked it out. 343 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:39,987 Oh, impressive. 344 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:44,533 Not as impressive as you. I looked at your record and you've done some weird stuff. 345 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,410 We'll talk at dinner. 346 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,828 Okay. 347 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,039 So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up? 348 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,707 - All right, I can't wait. - Okay. 349 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,710 Don't worry, I won't just take you out for doughnuts. 350 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,507 He has a gun! 351 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,642 I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it. 352 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,066 You want to return this couch? 353 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,195 It's cut in half. 354 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:26,325 - That's what I'm telling you. - Did you cut this couch in half? 355 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,788 This couch is cut in half! 356 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:37,295 I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half. 357 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:41,048 You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this? 358 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,426 Look, I'm a reasonable man. 359 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,679 I will accept store credit. 360 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:51,392 I'll give you store credit in the amount of $4. 361 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,522 I will take it. 26745

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