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On the way to the bus stop,
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00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,411
Bill saw somebody he
recognized walking towards him,
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00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,787
but he couldn't
remember his name.
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00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,205
He began to think
of things to say
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00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,499
when they'd be close enough
to acknowledge each other.
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00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,543
As they drew nearer,
their eyes locked,
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00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,296
uncertain if the other
was going to stop to talk.
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00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:31,048
The person greeted Bill,
as Bill mixed up the phrases,
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00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:31,758
"Whats up?"
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00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,384
with, "How's it going?"
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00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,636
Confused, the
person blurted out,
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00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,180
"Thanks," before he
knew what he was saying.
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00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:41,142
Words caught in Bill's
throat and he replied,
14
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,518
"We h ."
15
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,520
They did a sort
of awkward half-turn
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00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,771
and then continued on,
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00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,566
now confident that the other
was not going to stop to talk.
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00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,276
They never saw each other again,
19
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,362
and a clay later had each
forgotten the whole thing.
20
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,198
Later that night, Bill sat
down and put on a big sweater
21
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,951
but it only made him sleepy.
22
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,786
In the supermarket, Bill
was always very careful
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00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,748
to select fruit from only the
back of the produce piles,
24
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,583
as the fruit in the front
was at crotch-level
25
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,210
to the other customers.
26
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:13,341
An old man who smelled of
gasoline held up an onion
27
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,469
and said, "Big onion,"
to no one in particular.
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00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,305
He smiled at Bill and
Bill looked at his socks.
29
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,973
At the check-out counter,
Bill found himself
30
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,100
behind a big guy
whose t-shirt read,
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00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,936
"Second place is
the first loser."
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00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,898
The check-out girl said,
"How are you doing today?"
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00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,734
Bill said, "Fine
thanks, how are you?"
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00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,277
She didn't answer.
35
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,196
Bill felt used.
36
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,781
As he waited for his next bus,
37
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,658
Bill stared at a
torn shopping bag
38
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,452
that was blowing in the wind
on the end of a broken pole,
39
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,246
and anxiously sucked blood
out of a sore in the corner
40
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,247
of his mouth.
41
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,451
Bill dropped his keys
on the counter
42
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,286
and stood there staring at them,
43
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,830
suddenly thinking
about all the times
44
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,707
he'd thrown his keys
there before...
45
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,917
...and how many clays of
his life were wasted...
46
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,586
repeating the same tasks and
rituals in his apartment,
47
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,588
over and over again.
48
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,508
But then he wondered
if, realistically...
49
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,552
this was his life...
50
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,931
and the unusual part was his
time spent doing other things.
51
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,314
Bill sat down and read
a celebrity interview.
52
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:56,694
Then he watched the ants
crawl around in his sink.
53
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,157
That night, Bill dreamt
of a monstrous fish head
54
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,493
that fed upon his skull.
55
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,668
In the morning,
56
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,254
Bill felt really tired even
though he'd just been sleeping.
57
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,340
His calendar had a photo of a
manatee on it for the month.
58
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,508
It always seemed as though
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00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,844
the manatee was staring at him.
60
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,972
Bill sat in the living room
with a giant box of crackers.
61
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,807
He thought some food
might help him get going,
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00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,350
but felt kind of
strange eating in front
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00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,020
of the television
without having it on.
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00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,855
Pretty soon he was
watching a boxing match
65
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,356
on a Mexican channel.
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00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,025
He'd been watching a
lot of boxing lately
67
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,235
but didn't really know why.
68
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,529
In the 4th round there was
an accidental head butt
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00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,574
that split open one of the
fighter's heads pretty badly.
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00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,159
They showed it
over and over again,
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00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,369
in slow motion.
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00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,287
Before he knew it,
73
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,456
Bill had eaten the
entire box of crackers.
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00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,042
He felt really lousy
and didn't want to get up.
75
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,919
He had a sudden urge
to talk to somebody,
76
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,046
so Bill phoned his
ex-girlfriend and told her
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00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,632
about the manatee
on his calendar.
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00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,551
"Did you ever see the movie
about the giant manatee
79
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,721
that attacked a
city?" she asked.
80
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:09,058
"I think you mean giant
mantis, said Bill.
81
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,768
"Oh yeah", she said.
82
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,897
"Giant mantis."
83
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,776
The next morning,
Bill felt even worse.
84
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,320
Downtown, the hot smell
of manure blew past him
85
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,571
as he walked.
86
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,366
Bill soon came upon three
dead horses in the road,
87
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,911
apparently struck down
by a large moving vehicle.
88
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:32,748
"Well," he thought, "that
would explain the smell, then."
89
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,044
He met his ex-girlfriend
during her lunch break
90
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,755
and they took a
walk to the park.
91
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,799
He noticed that every
time he was near her,
92
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,135
she sort of moved away with a
tight-lipped smile on her face,
93
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,930
asthough everything were ok.
94
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,807
Mostly they talked about death.
95
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,810
They agreed that being buried
seemed too claustrophobic,
96
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,270
and Bill didn't
want to be cremated
97
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,564
after he'd read that the
intense heat boils fluids
98
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,941
in the skull until
your head explodes.
99
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,068
He decided that he'd
want his body shot off
100
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,320
into space in a rocket ship.
101
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,155
He figured it'd be too
expensive to launch
102
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,575
the weight of his entire
body, but maybe just sending
103
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,952
his head into space
would be good enough,
104
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,454
preferably in front
of a little window.
105
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,748
His-ex girlfriend said
she'd be really creeped out
106
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,251
if she knew Bill's severed
head was floating around
107
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,670
above her in space.
108
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,880
Bill was given a new booklet
109
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,798
at the clinic, discussing
potential memory loss
110
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,799
in his treatment.
111
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,135
Inside was a
cartoon character saying,
112
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,386
"I don't know about you folks,
113
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,264
but I could lose my
keys eatin' breakfast."
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00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,850
His neighbor, trying to
be helpful but failing,
115
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,310
cornered Bill in the parking lot
116
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,145
to explain how
cryogenic scientists
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00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:39,690
could freeze his brain in ice
until a point in the future
118
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,401
when microscopic robots
could repair it.
119
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,737
Bill daydreamed about
all the brains in jars
120
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,489
he used to see at school,
how he used to wonder
121
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,826
whether there were still somehow
pieces of individuals inside...
122
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,995
...scattered fragments
of partial dreams
123
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,206
or lost memories locked deep
within that dead tissue..
124
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:59,335
...or whether this entire
archive is immediately erased,
125
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,545
the moment that the body fails.
126
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,089
He began to think of
people in a new light...
127
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,259
how everyone's just little
more than that frightened,
128
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,511
fragile brain stem...
129
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,472
surrounded by meat and physics,
130
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:14,224
too terrified to recognize
the sum of their parts...
131
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,518
...insulated in the
shells of their skulls
132
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,437
and lower middle class houses...
133
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,231
...afraid of change,
afraid of decisions,
134
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,566
afraid of pain...
135
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,694
...stuck in traffic,
listening to terrible music.
136
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,617
His neighbor stared
at him and said,
137
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,163
"Last night, I dreamt
all my toes fell off."
138
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,540
On the way to his front door,
139
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:39,625
Bill's other neighbor said,
140
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,670
"Sup, as in, "What's up?"
141
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,547
Inside he noticed a
weird wet spot on his mattress
142
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:49,134
that he didn't remember
being there before.
143
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,053
Bill watched part of
a documentary program
144
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,807
about a 5,000 year old ice
man that was found in Italy.
145
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,226
Scientists explored
its colon and everything
146
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,520
on live television.
147
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,272
Bill wondered if the ice man
148
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,483
could ever have imagined
this would one clay
149
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,818
have happened to him.
150
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,284
That night, Bill dreamt
he was at the seaside,
151
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,121
desperately throwing dead
bodies off of a little boat.
152
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:25,129
Bill took a walk in the park
to try and get some fresh air.
153
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,964
He noticed somebody had written,
154
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,799
"I love you," in the
playground sand
155
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,301
and he thought that
was really beautiful.
156
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,053
As he continued on,
a sudden dribble
157
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,889
of urine shot down his pant leg.
158
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,058
That was unexpected.
159
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,436
Then some little fat kid
with a deformed foot tried
160
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,855
to sell him a
magazine subscription.
161
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,232
Bill looked at the list
of magazines for sale
162
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,819
and angrily wondered why they
didn't offer any Asian porn...
163
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,989
Then he wondered
why he wondered that.
164
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,115
On his way to the clinic,
165
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,316
he found he had a little
trouble understanding people...
166
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,956
Even his pamphlet
seemed different.
167
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:04,126
The guy next to him at the bus
stop had the head of a cow,
168
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,879
but Bill pretended
not to notice.
169
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,965
His doctor said he had
some discouraging news:
170
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,216
The latest tests ruled out
171
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,469
the possibility
of further surgeries,
172
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,680
and his current treatment didn't
seem to be making any progress.
173
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,516
He wanted to start
Bill on something new.
174
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,143
He couldn't think of any reason
175
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,978
why Bill should be
seeing things though
176
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,314
and asked him a
series of questions.
177
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,399
"You have to understand that
your body is going through a
178
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,480
lot of stress right now..."
179
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,805
Bill picked up
his new medication,
180
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,474
went home, and
masturbated for seven hours.
181
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,811
He woke up the following morning
182
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,437
and thought his room
seemed different.
183
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,782
His mouth was bleeding...
184
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,785
four of his teeth had
fallen out in the night.
185
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:23,872
They looked sort
of like dog teeth.
186
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,584
Everyone in the supermarket
looked like some sort of demon.
187
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:31,213
And they all had gigantic,
bacteria-ridden crotches
188
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:35,714
buried in the all
the goddamned produce!
189
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:40,013
It felt like his
whole body was sparkling.
190
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,100
His shoes felt as though
they were filling with blood
191
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,435
and his hands
smelled like copper.
192
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:01,160
When he got home, he found a
pair of Lion King slippers
193
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,411
in his closet
194
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:06,912
but had no idea whose they were,
or how they got in there.
195
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,932
Silly high-pitched voice:
"The pipe is leaking!...
196
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,185
The pipe is leaking!..."
197
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,478
Bill could read the
thoughts of his waitress,
198
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:32,065
who wore too much eye
makeup and had no self-esteem.
199
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:36,069
Outside, horribly deformed birds
checked their voice mail...
200
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,238
"I am made nervous by a clone
201
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,324
that grows beneath
my closet..."
202
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,700
"it's not as complicated as
that, we just don't like you..."
203
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,493
"I am a man with a very large hat.
This means I am in charge."
204
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,369
"I am sexually inadequate."
205
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,245
"Why do you keep
treating me this way?"
206
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,121
"Darkness...
darkness... darkness..."
207
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,123
"The effects of
tranquilizers on animals
208
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,875
at higher altitudes
are unpredictable..."
209
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,461
"Why don't you come over
here and sit on my lap?"
210
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,881
After lunch, Bill put on
the Lion King slippers
211
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,341
and flew to the bus stop.
212
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,593
[a growing, disturbing
chorus of backwards music
213
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,638
Bill dropped his
keys on the counter
214
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,973
and stood there staring at them,
215
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:05,891
suddenly thinking
about all the times
216
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,643
he'd thrown his
keys there before,
217
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,144
and how many days
of his life were wasted...
218
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,271
But then he wondered
if, realistically,
219
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,940
this was his life...
220
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,816
this was his life...
221
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,276
this was his life...
222
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,444
this was his life...
223
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,904
[all of the backwards
voices and strange
224
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:23,405
and frightening noises
reach a climax...
225
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,519
"The power of Christ
compels you!
226
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,522
The power of
Christ compels you!"
227
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,165
[sudden silence... a distant
sound of a wind tunnel...
228
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,147
[everyday sounds of a busy city,
229
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,654
His mother came
to take care of him,
230
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,239
all the way from Omaha.
231
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,866
She was a waitress
and often smelt
232
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:49,244
of baby powder and cheese.
233
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,413
They spent a lot of time
together doing puzzles
234
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,664
and watching television.
235
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:59,087
One morning as Bill was staring
at the patterns in the carpet,
236
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,173
she noticed a loose
thread in his collar.
237
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,810
"How could you think
I'd ever want to hurt you?"
238
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:18,311
she said, and
crumpled to the floor.
239
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,861
In that moment, Bill thought
she looked really old.
240
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:30,782
Sometimes the fluids in the IV
put a funny taste in his mouth.
241
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,706
Bill awoke to find
beautiful sunlight streaming
242
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,416
through his window.
243
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,751
He tried to climb through it,
244
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,336
but didn't have
the strength to stand.
245
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,886
The next morning,
Bill actually felt pretty good.
246
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,764
The day after that,
he felt even better.
247
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,183
Then he felt a lot worse.
248
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,353
But the following day,
Bill felt just fine.
249
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,189
"I'm sorry, I just don't
know what to make of it,
250
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,524
his doctor said.
251
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,985
"Maybe Bill's body
is simply rallying
252
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,821
before finally giving up."
253
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,740
His uncle, whom Bill had not
even noticed in the room,
254
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,409
had taken a lot of time off work
255
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,537
to fly in all the
way from Tulsa.
256
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,789
He looked vaguely annoyed.
257
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,300
After another two days,
258
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,719
they concluded Bill
was not going to die,
259
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,220
so his mother had all of the
flowers removed from his room.
260
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,852
She also had to have
his casket returned,
261
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,438
at great expense
and inconvenience.
262
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,361
Bill had to go back to
work the following Tuesday.
263
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,071
It rained for the
entire bus ride.
264
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:34,572
[beautiful symphonic
music gradually builds
265
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:40,996
and swells in cascades,
266
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,968
Last week, Bill's class
took a field trip to the beach.
267
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,638
His half-brother,
Randall came along:
268
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:22,434
a little boy in the special
class with aluminum hook arms,
269
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:26,935
whose mind was as
misshapen as his legs.
270
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,481
No one at school really knew him
271
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,483
because he always
rode a separate bus...
272
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,360
...and was taught to stand
within the confines
273
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:35,614
of a tetherball
circle every recess.
274
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,365
In the late afternoon,
Randall was over
275
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,452
with the adults when he
spotted a gull overhead.
276
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,786
His eyes burst with emotion
277
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,331
and he suddenly took off
stumbling after it.
278
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,750
Tears streaming
down his little face,
279
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,793
he stretched his
aluminum hooks as wide
280
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,421
as he could towards
the sun, howling,
281
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,049
"Booooooon!
Booooooon!"
282
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,470
and disappeared
into the deep blue sea.
283
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,058
The other kids were surprised
he could even run that fast.
284
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,936
Bill's mother put a
heavy coat over him
285
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,521
whenever he left the house,
286
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,939
for fear that he
might fall victim
287
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,276
to something called
"walking pneumonia."
288
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:16,071
She starting doing this the
winter after losing Randall,
289
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,157
but then made him wear it every
day for the next five years.
290
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,784
In the summers,
291
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:24,621
he also had to wear a helmet
and asbestos safety gloves.
292
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,040
These were the days
she rarely left the house
293
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,376
and shaved the cat on weekends.
294
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:32,212
On his sixth birthday, his
mother gave him a postage stamp
295
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:36,713
and a piece of yarn and
hugged him for five minutes.
296
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:42,389
His parents argued again
that night and she threw meat.
297
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,265
His stepfather
stormed to the door,
298
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,267
where he turned his
face up towards a hole
299
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,436
in the ceiling and yelled,
300
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,937
"I just can't handle this
god damned woman," and left.
301
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,404
She stared at the front door
302
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,447
and rocked there
in place, saying,
303
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:03,948
"aaa aaa aaa
aaa aaa aaa aaa."
304
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,037
Every now and then at school,
305
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,665
he'd find a note from
her in his lunch box.
306
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,560
His hair was
finally growing back.
307
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,698
After completing the
clinic's daily memory quiz,
308
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:45,911
Bill went to the city and saw
ants take apart a dead bird.
309
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,000
Yesterday, he
spent thirty seconds
310
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:56,045
trying to open his front
door with his mailbox key.
311
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:59,007
It's been over a year
now since his diagnosis,
312
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,550
when they'd stayed
up late drinking
313
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:05,013
and Bill slept on the couch.
314
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,098
In the morning, he sat
on the toilet seat
315
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,851
and quietly watched her
put on her make-up.
316
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:13,855
That afternoon, she
told him it was over.
317
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:16,775
In the hardware store, a
nice kid with a skin condition
318
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,193
helps Bill find
the right battery
319
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,528
for his wall clock.
320
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,197
He had taken a walk to the park,
321
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,700
but didn't really know
what to do with his day there.
322
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:30,201
At home he makes toast,
but changes his mind.
323
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,707
He's been having
trouble sleeping again,
324
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,837
and realizes he's lying in
the dark with his eyes open.
325
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,830
Whenever Grandma would visit
and he'd show her his drawings,
326
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,750
she'd often imagine how easily
she could toss little Bill
327
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:39,876
into the fireplace...
328
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,088
...or even through
a thin window...
329
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:47,717
...for he was still young and
quite small, and floppy...
330
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:50,219
...and she reckoned light
enough for a woman of her size
331
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:54,015
and strength to hurl across
the room several yards or more.
332
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,436
In the middle of the night
she opens the drawer
333
00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,689
to find the preserved
cat head from last week.
334
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:05,068
She can feel the fish
smothering her brain,
335
00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:07,570
and the magic scrubbing
of their furry little heads
336
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:10,490
across her skin is
doing less and less good...
337
00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:12,251
[strange echoes: "doing
less and less good...
338
00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,826
...and she decides this is
339
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:15,536
because their little
heads are of low quality...
340
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:16,829
...and she needs
more of them...
341
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,333
...many, many more of them,
from higher pedigree breeds...
342
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,752
...little heads with richer
skin and better hair-dos
343
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:25,254
and cleaner little ears
and clearer eyes...
344
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:36,683
They said she had a tumor
and was suffering from seizures
345
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,434
and dementia.
346
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,228
Bill didn't know
what those words meant,
347
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:43,482
but he had ideas.
348
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:49,570
Grandma was born in
Bootblack, Wyoming,
349
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:51,698
two years after
the great mud storms
350
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,908
drowned all the hogs.
351
00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:56,828
Her father serviced
electric machines...
352
00:24:56,829 --> 00:25:00,833
...and once strangled a rock in
a fit of religious excitement.
353
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,627
He enjoyed wood...
354
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,921
...and telling the children
late-night stories
355
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,592
of how his own Papa
used to tame the wilderness.
356
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:17,098
He was a quiet, unassuming man
who was eating an onion one day
357
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:18,892
when he was cut
in half by a train.
358
00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:28,109
Grandma's older brother
became a preacher
359
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:32,071
who grew his mole hairs
long to purify his soul.
360
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,073
In his early years,
he secretly fathered
361
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,868
an illegitimate child
and smothered it one night
362
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,119
in the abandoned stable.
363
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,495
[ominous crickets and frogs
364
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:45,251
As he aged, he became plagued
with firebugs and once claimed
365
00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:47,253
to have seen an acquatic
creature make off
366
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:50,548
with the sheriff's prize cow.
367
00:25:52,593 --> 00:25:56,554
He was eventually crippled
with lead poisoning and polio.
368
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,807
And was killed by a train.
369
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,271
Grandma's little sister, Polly,
370
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,106
had beautiful golden hair
371
00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:11,152
and pounded at imaginary
animals with a hammer.
372
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:15,653
She died at the age of eight
after contracting yellow fever.
373
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:16,950
And catching on fire.
374
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:26,626
After Polly's death, Grandma's
mother cut out her tongue
375
00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:29,545
and vigorously enjoyed
taking health tonics
376
00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:31,547
and prescription medications.
377
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,722
Awild man wandered
into town that summer
378
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:43,226
and beat the church
organist with a shovel.
379
00:26:43,227 --> 00:26:45,770
He defecated what looked
like a pile of blueberries
380
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:48,523
on the family
porch and disappeared,
381
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,359
howling into the marsh.
382
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,777
Nobody knew that this wild man
383
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:55,363
was in fact Grandma's
great-uncle...
384
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:58,950
...a forgotten, unwanted child
who'd been fed carbolic acid
385
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:02,912
and abandoned in the northern
woods fifty-two years prior.
386
00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:05,039
He ate mud and sticks
387
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,917
and knew only how to
say the word, "Bible."
388
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:17,510
He died alone in a field
one summer morning
389
00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:21,055
while dreaming of the moon.
390
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:25,556
Six weeks later, a
sunflower grew out of his head.
391
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,395
In their later years,
Grandma's family
392
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:30,064
moved to the big city,
where her mother lived out
393
00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:34,277
the rest of her
clays making jam...
394
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:37,363
...and persecuting Jews.
395
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,282
There was a bush in
front of their building
396
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,534
in the shape of a heart
that made her cry
397
00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:44,287
every time she saw it.
398
00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:47,957
She died alone while Grandma
was away at boarding school,
399
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:51,377
surrounded by
visions of phantoms.
400
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:59,719
Grandpa died eleven years
before Grandma did.
401
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,013
He used to sit next
to her every Sunday,
402
00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:05,809
but now she plays
his bingo card for him.
403
00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:17,361
Last night, Bill dreamt
he was young again,
404
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:20,448
in a field with
friends at the seaside.
405
00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:22,825
A big happy seal barked
at them and bounded
406
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:26,120
from the water to play soccer.
407
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,122
He was pretty good.
408
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:31,042
It was like an animal movie.
409
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,336
Then the seal hit the
ball a little too excited
410
00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:36,464
and it flew over everyone's
heads and struck a little boy
411
00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:39,717
in an adjacent field
really hard in the chest.
412
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,761
It seemed like maybe
he had a heart condition
413
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:44,639
or something because
he wasn't moving.
414
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,475
Everyone sort of froze.
415
00:28:47,476 --> 00:28:51,312
The seal retreated to the sea.
416
00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:55,813
Nobody knew what to do.
417
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:59,237
He'd slept on his arm funny
and it felt sort of numb.
418
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:07,078
Sometimes it sounds like
there's voices in the water.
419
00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:10,581
He's been putting
some weight back on
420
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:14,001
and his doctor had said
that was good news.
421
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:16,170
At the bus stop his
left testicle ached
422
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:20,175
for no apparent reason and it
almost made him feel dizzy.
423
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,594
Not much happened at work.
424
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,514
Bill made a pyramid
out of three staplers.
425
00:29:26,515 --> 00:29:28,391
And the new guy
swallowed a paper clip
426
00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:32,892
and was rushed out
in a wheelchair.
427
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,690
The guy in the next cubicle
over told Bill about a thing
428
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:37,358
he saw on TV
429
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:40,736
about identical twins
who were separated at birth
430
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:44,907
but had individually grown
up to be serial killers.
431
00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:47,368
It was as though they
didn't have any choice
432
00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:49,787
in what they turned into.
433
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,665
"Genetics is pretty
messed up, he said,
434
00:29:52,666 --> 00:29:55,794
as his chewing gum flung
itself from his mouth.
435
00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:01,424
At lunch he told Bill
about a physics book
436
00:30:01,425 --> 00:30:03,384
he was reading about time.
437
00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:06,262
How the passing of
time is just an illusion,
438
00:30:06,263 --> 00:30:10,763
because all of eternity is
actually taking place at once.
439
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:14,353
The past never vanishes away,
440
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:17,732
and the future
has already happened.
441
00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,776
All of history is
fixed and laid out,
442
00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:24,572
like an infinite landscape
of simultaneous events
443
00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:29,073
that we simply happen to travel
through in one direction.
444
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:34,040
Bill made a joke that he could
have sworn he'd been told
445
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,291
that somewhere before,
446
00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:39,792
but the guy just stared at
him like he didn't get it.
447
00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:43,215
At home Bill watched the
microwave spin his food
448
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:46,469
and daydreamed about
the Galapagos Islands.
449
00:30:46,470 --> 00:30:48,763
He'd purchased the
new brand of paper towels
450
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,598
that had hundreds
of little raised bumps
451
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:52,100
across every sheet.
452
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,485
He found a message on
the answering machine...
453
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:03,611
...that was sorry to inform him
454
00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:07,448
his mother had just
died that morning.
455
00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:10,910
They said she'd launched into
a fit of senile hysterics
456
00:31:10,911 --> 00:31:13,788
after skipping her medication.
457
00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:15,956
And was hit by a train.
458
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:19,752
She'd reserved her own
funeral plot years in advance
459
00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:22,505
in order to be buried
alongside her parents...
460
00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:23,798
...but due to a clerical error
461
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,384
had to be placed
fifty yards away,
462
00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,135
between a coffin full of rocks
463
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:31,555
and a rich woman's
golden retriever.
464
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:34,642
After the funeral, Bill went
through her old storage boxes
465
00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:38,312
and was surprised to find
a 100 year old photo album.
466
00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,189
Among the many
pictures of relatives
467
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,774
and people he never knew
468
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:46,275
were several photographs
of bacon... and lumber.
469
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,698
He also found an old
series of strange portraits
470
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:54,199
that had been neatly labeled,
for unknown future reference.
471
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,917
Scattered throughout the
box were forgotten photos
472
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:02,128
of himself as a young boy.
473
00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:05,714
He'd read once how each cell
in the body replaces itself
474
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:08,050
and dies as the years pass...
475
00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:10,845
...how everyone is
slowly reconstructed
476
00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:15,015
out of continuously
changing pieces.
477
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:18,477
It depressed him how foreign
the pictures seemed to him now,
478
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:22,189
how his ridiculous, ingrown
cells had long ago stolen
479
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:24,525
this happy dead kid's identity,
480
00:32:24,526 --> 00:32:29,026
and with his own life,
made a complete mess of it.
481
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:30,322
Beneath the album
482
00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:33,033
was a folder of his
mother's medical records.
483
00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:34,827
Attached to her
initial diagnosis
484
00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:35,995
was a physician's note
485
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,498
that strongly recommended
she never have a child.
486
00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:18,621
He pictures himself
having trouble breathing
487
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:21,707
and waking to a roomful
of concerned faces.
488
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:24,835
He'd been terrified
of dying his entire life,
489
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,962
and as much as he'd
tried not to think about it,
490
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:29,298
death was always in
the back of his head,
491
00:33:29,299 --> 00:33:32,760
around every corner, and
hovering on each horizon.
492
00:33:32,761 --> 00:33:35,638
He'd brushed shoulders with
death on a few occasions,
493
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:37,932
but in his carefree youth
it had almost seemed like
494
00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:41,435
an abstract, impossible thing
to ever happen to him.
495
00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:42,937
But with each passing decade,
496
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,940
he began to gauge the
time he probably had left,
497
00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:49,026
and by his 40s, what he
considered his halfway point
498
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:52,363
at best, he had come to
know just one thing:
499
00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:56,864
You will only get older.
500
00:33:57,953 --> 00:33:59,620
The next thing you
know, you're looking back
501
00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:01,455
instead of forward.
502
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:04,750
And now, at the climax
of all those years of worry,
503
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:07,294
sleepless nights, and denials,
504
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:09,797
Bill finally finds himself
staring his death
505
00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:11,048
in the face...
506
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:13,676
...surrounded by people
he no longer recognizes
507
00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:15,803
and feels no
closer attachment to
508
00:34:15,804 --> 00:34:19,306
than the thousands of
relatives who'd come before.
509
00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:21,308
And as the sun continues to set,
510
00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:24,603
he finally comes to
realize the dumb irony
511
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:28,482
in how he'd been waiting for
this moment his entire life.
512
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:31,986
This stupid, awkward moment
of death that had invaded
513
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:36,487
and distracted so many days
with stress and wasted time.
514
00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:41,203
If only he could travel back
and impart some wisdom
515
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:43,038
to his younger self.
516
00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,124
If only he could at least
tell the young people
517
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:46,500
in this room.
518
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:50,212
He lifts an arm to speak
but inexplicably says,
519
00:34:50,213 --> 00:34:53,549
"it smells like
dust and moonlight."
520
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:55,843
[the classical
music continues to build
521
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,306
He'd forgotten years ago
522
00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,100
to replace the battery in the
cheap wall clock in his kitchen
523
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:06,437
and it was forever
stuck on 11:57.
524
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:08,188
He couldn't remember
why he'd put a clock there
525
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,523
in the first place,
526
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,191
since it was sort of
in an awkward nook
527
00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:14,945
around a corner where he'd
never wonder what time it was.
528
00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:30,127
Near the bottom
of the storage box,
529
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:33,339
Bill found an old notebook
he'd never seen before...
530
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,966
...filling the pages inside,
his mother had repeatedly
531
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,844
practiced her handwriting,
so she could send him off
532
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:41,096
to school with the
best-looking notes.
533
00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:10,292
He calls his ex-girlfriend
534
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:14,422
and arranges to meet for
lunch after his check-up.
535
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:19,426
This morning
he couldn't remember
536
00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:22,346
where he'd put the clinic's
daily memory quizzes.
537
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,863
He decides to make toast...
538
00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:44,076
but for a long moment
can't think of how it's done.
539
00:36:44,077 --> 00:36:48,577
There's only a brown stain now
where that bird had been.
540
00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:51,500
His doctor has
nothing but good news.
541
00:36:51,501 --> 00:36:53,919
Bill has continued to
make terrific progress
542
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,839
and he can no longer find
anything out of the ordinary.
543
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,633
He tells Bill that if he'd not
known his medical history,
544
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:03,303
he would probably give him a
clean bill of health today.
545
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:04,930
[a quiet, echoing cave...
546
00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:19,570
On his way to lunch, Bill smiles
and thinks for the first time
547
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:21,321
that maybe everything
will be--
548
00:37:21,322 --> 00:37:23,242
[a sudden, overwhelming
flood of electrical zaps,
549
00:37:33,293 --> 00:37:36,336
[the wall of sound gives
way to beautiful music,
550
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,509
Bill was born
late Tuesday morning
551
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:45,679
into a world of orange and red.
552
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:54,017
He likes the way the aquamarine
rug feels across his hands.
553
00:37:57,358 --> 00:38:00,778
He likes sunbeams...
...and rockets...
554
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,899
...and the smell of the
backyard in the early morning.
555
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:07,910
He likes tigers...
...and trees...
556
00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:09,870
...and melted
chocolate ice cream...
557
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,164
...and watching the
lights while falling asleep
558
00:38:12,165 --> 00:38:13,332
in the back seat.
559
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,083
[the whooshing sounds
of cars flying past...
560
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:22,216
[electrical charges
and an elongated,
561
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:24,676
Someone sits on the shore
562
00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,762
and tells him how the
waves have been there
563
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:28,722
long before Bill existed...
564
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:32,184
...and that they'll still be
there long after he's gone.
565
00:38:32,185 --> 00:38:33,685
Bill looks out at the water
566
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,562
and thinks of all the
wonderful things
567
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:36,772
he Will do With his life.
568
00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:57,039
[artificially
slowed-down music...
569
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,609
Female voice: "Bill?
Can you hear me, Bill?"
570
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,152
Male voice: "Look at
me, Bill. Look at me."
571
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:25,028
Nurse voice: "140 over 90."
572
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:25,696
Male voice: "Bill,
can you hear me?"
573
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:26,780
Female voice: "Bill?"
574
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:28,490
Male voice, getting distant:
"Bill, can you hear me?"
575
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,616
[the slow music
576
00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:06,486
The last thing Bill can remember
577
00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:10,449
is speaking to
his ex-girlfriend...
578
00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:15,996
...bird wings...
579
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,624
...and the smell
of black licorice.
580
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,834
[the beautiful
music grows darker,
581
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,419
[the music and
sounds suddenly stop,
582
00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:52,154
He watches dust float across
the sunbeam above his head.
583
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,415
And then he goes back to sleep.
584
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:07,047
His roommate's name is Matthew,
a paralyzed young man
585
00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:08,465
hidden by curtains
586
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:11,760
who communicates to the nursing
staff through a row of buttons
587
00:41:11,761 --> 00:41:15,013
that can play five different
electronic sentences...
588
00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:18,850
...but more often than not,
he only presses one of them:
589
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,978
Electronic voice:
"I am in pain."
590
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:23,313
Every afternoon, the
reflections of sunlight
591
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,816
from the traffic below
cast colorful patterns
592
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,110
across their ceiling.
593
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:30,070
In the mornings, the
sunlight illuminates
594
00:41:30,071 --> 00:41:32,572
Matthew's curtain and
makes it look beautiful
595
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:35,450
even though it's just gray.
596
00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:37,995
His ex-girlfriend's
been visiting lately
597
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:41,540
and they talk for hours
about current events.
598
00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:46,003
Sometimes they
eat ice cream bars.
599
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:50,090
It's the happiest
he's been in a long time.
600
00:41:50,091 --> 00:41:54,591
[the simple music swells,
against light thunder
601
00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:01,977
Bill is introduced
to a new doctor
602
00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:03,979
and given a short interview.
603
00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:05,605
He doesn't know
what month it is,
604
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:07,941
but he's aware
he's in a hospital.
605
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:10,110
He can't remember his address,
606
00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:13,613
so he supposes he must
have always lived here.
607
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:16,950
His vision's a blurry, and
he no longer has strength
608
00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:19,119
in the grip of his left hand.
609
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:23,040
Bill is asked to describe
a series of photographs.
610
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,918
He's able to put words to
many of these objects...
611
00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:30,881
...but is very confused
by some of the others.
612
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:36,636
He also has difficulty
distinguishing the faces
613
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,264
of people he knows.
614
00:42:39,265 --> 00:42:43,185
All of these people
really just look the same.
615
00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:45,479
And though he can recognize
his ex-girlfriend
616
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,440
because of her long hair...
617
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:51,360
...he can't
remember her name.
618
00:42:52,862 --> 00:42:53,821
He tells the doctor
619
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:57,282
he has a fish living
inside of his head,
620
00:42:57,283 --> 00:43:00,118
"possibly a trout."
621
00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:02,662
It'll be another night
before it dawns on him
622
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:04,790
that something seems missing.
623
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:08,293
All the memories the doctor
asked him to recall today
624
00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:10,837
are suddenly out of his grasp.
625
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:14,841
So many years of
faces and moments...
626
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:17,594
mare mostly just a
vague feeling now.
627
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:24,226
The years are slipping
out of his head.
628
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,564
Yesterday, a
gardener with a hose
629
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:33,026
blasted all the sparrow nests
from the second-story awning
630
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,694
of the building next door...
631
00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:39,195
...raining mud and little broken
eggs into the parking lot.
632
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:42,994
Another test has been arranged
633
00:43:42,995 --> 00:43:45,914
and Bill is taken
to a white room.
634
00:43:45,915 --> 00:43:48,250
A radiologist makes an incision
635
00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:51,878
and pushes a catheter
into his femoral artery.
636
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,214
The catheter is carefully
pushed through his stomach
637
00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:57,134
to his heart, up
through his chest,
638
00:43:57,135 --> 00:44:00,345
and into his head, where a
special dye is introduced
639
00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:03,974
to flood the blood vessels
in his brain for X-rays.
640
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:07,602
Bill is then asked to raise
his arms and count to twenty.
641
00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:09,896
A powerful anesthetic
is introduced
642
00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:13,984
to temporarily shut down the
left hemisphere of his brain.
643
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:16,236
And for the
remaining half of Bill,
644
00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:17,946
the test begi--
645
00:44:17,947 --> 00:44:20,907
Woman's voice: "Bill?
Can you hear me?"
646
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:23,201
Woman's voice: "Bill, can
you look up here for me?
647
00:44:23,202 --> 00:44:25,745
Can you tell me
what these objects are?"
648
00:44:25,746 --> 00:44:28,665
Woman's voice: "Bill, can
you tell me what this is?"
649
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,751
Man's voice: "Bill, can you
add up these numbers for me?"
650
00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:33,420
Woman's voice:
"You're doing great, Bill."
651
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:34,338
Man's voice: "Okay.
652
00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:35,755
And what do these
numbers add up to?"
653
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:37,716
Woman's voice: "Look at
me, Bill, look at me.
654
00:44:37,717 --> 00:44:38,967
Bill, look at me."
655
00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:41,261
Man's voice: "Okay, Bill, and
can you tell me who this is?"
656
00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:42,762
Woman's voice: "it's okay,
Bill, you're doing great."
657
00:44:42,763 --> 00:44:45,056
Man's voice: "And can
you tell me who this is?"
658
00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:47,976
Man's voice: "Bill, can
you tell me who this is?
659
00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,687
Do you remember her?"
660
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,537
Today she's joined
by her boyfriend,
661
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,624
a young man named Steve who
spends most of the afternoon
662
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,585
in the corner quietly staring
at Matthew's curtain.
663
00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:15,253
Electronic voice:
"I am in pain."
664
00:45:15,254 --> 00:45:17,797
The doctor explains to her
that Bill may be having trouble
665
00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:21,092
understanding past tense
and present tense.
666
00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:23,136
It may also be difficult
for Bill to understand
667
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:26,598
which of his memories are
real, and which are imagined.
668
00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:29,392
When the brain is confronted
with major memory loss,
669
00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:33,438
it often fills in the blanks
with confabulated stories:
670
00:45:33,439 --> 00:45:37,484
False memories, people
who never existed...
671
00:45:37,485 --> 00:45:41,985
...invented conclusions to make
everyday life less confusing...
672
00:45:42,031 --> 00:45:46,201
and to somehow rationalize
what's happening to him.
673
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:50,664
Today they will chat awkwardly.
674
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:53,250
Bill's been unable
to stay on one subject
675
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,751
for more than a few moments
676
00:45:54,752 --> 00:45:57,545
and seems to get
easily frustrated.
677
00:45:57,546 --> 00:45:59,214
She will say she didn't know
678
00:45:59,215 --> 00:46:01,591
why she'd brought Steve
along yesterday,
679
00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:03,718
and admits he'd been so shaken
680
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:07,180
by the experience that
he quietly cried in the car
681
00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:10,350
on the way home.
682
00:46:10,351 --> 00:46:13,561
The sparrows have
already begun to rebuild,
683
00:46:13,562 --> 00:46:17,607
but he's not sure if he
feels happy or sad for them.
684
00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:22,570
He dreams he's part
of a rocket crew,
685
00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,864
re-entering the
earth's atmosphere.
686
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,741
As they rapidly
descend, it's believed
687
00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:29,077
that eating ice cream bars
will help prevent them
688
00:46:29,078 --> 00:46:30,912
from having strokes.
689
00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:33,999
As the heat intensifies,
Bill eats his ice cream bar
690
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,793
and secretly hopes that if
something bad had to happen,
691
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,295
the ship wouldn't explode,
692
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:41,298
but just that everyone
else would have strokes.
693
00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,174
A final battery of
tests are ordered
694
00:46:43,175 --> 00:46:46,052
to positively rule out
the chance of surgery.
695
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:49,347
Highly drugged, Bill will have
no memory of these tests
696
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:51,558
other than a terrible
noise to his right...
697
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,979
...and a brief vision
of a seahorse...
698
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,188
...and a falling tree.
699
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,372
This morning he can't remember
700
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:17,542
the last time his ex-girlfriend
had come to visit.
701
00:47:17,543 --> 00:47:21,129
It could be hours...
or maybe it's been weeks.
702
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:24,507
His uncle, whom Bill had not
even noticed in the room,
703
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:27,802
looks out the window and
talks about Bill's mother.
704
00:47:27,803 --> 00:47:31,806
Then he says, "it's too bad
people don't say how they feel
705
00:47:31,807 --> 00:47:35,935
until it's already too late."
706
00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:38,313
And then he says nothing.
707
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:40,899
The TV in the room
is always on mute
708
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:42,442
and behind his uncle's head,
709
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:46,613
Bill watches a superhero
quietly melt a monster's face.
710
00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:49,824
His doctor visits and asks if
Bill might be more comfortable
711
00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:52,744
at home for a few days
under family care,
712
00:47:52,745 --> 00:47:54,371
until the final results come in.
713
00:47:57,666 --> 00:47:59,751
A neighbor must have
put these groceries
714
00:47:59,752 --> 00:48:01,252
in his apartment for him,
715
00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:03,797
which was a very nice gesture.
716
00:48:08,969 --> 00:48:12,514
It's kind of a
really nice day...
717
00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:16,393
he decides to walk
around the block.
718
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,895
On the side of the road, he
sees a woman's tennis shoe
719
00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:23,396
filled with leaves, and it fills
him with inexplicable sadness.
720
00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:27,362
He walks down his side street...
721
00:48:27,363 --> 00:48:31,491
...alongside the bridge
past the farmer's market...
722
00:48:31,492 --> 00:48:34,495
...and back up
the main thoroughfare.
723
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:47,507
It's kind of
a really nice clay...
724
00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:51,010
he decides to take a
walk around the block.
725
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,596
On the side of the road, he
sees a woman's tennis shoe
726
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:58,097
filled with leaves, and it fills
him with inexplicable sadness.
727
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:02,397
He walks down his side street...
728
00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:06,898
...alongside the bridge
past the farmer's market...
729
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:10,447
...and back up the
main thoroughfare.
730
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:20,415
It's kind of a
really nice day...
731
00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:23,751
he decides to take a walk
around the blo--
732
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:32,469
That hand is
dropping everything.
733
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:40,848
Wasn't he supposed
to call somebody?
734
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:44,440
What was her name?
735
00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:52,485
What in the hell is
wrong with this mug?
736
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:57,076
Does he really
need this much food?
737
00:49:57,077 --> 00:50:01,577
There's a doctor on
his answering machine...
738
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:06,499
has he been sick?
739
00:50:06,712 --> 00:50:10,173
A doctor carefully explains
test results with him.
740
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:12,383
He goes over numbers
and information
741
00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:15,428
that Bill doesn't understand,
and reiterates things
742
00:50:15,429 --> 00:50:17,347
that Bill doesn't remember.
743
00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:19,766
He's momentarily quiet...
744
00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:23,687
...and then tells Bill he
doesn't have very long to live.
745
00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:36,407
It's kind of a really nice day.
746
00:50:36,408 --> 00:50:39,118
He decides to walk
around the block.
747
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,370
On the side of the road he sees
748
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:42,580
a woman's tennis shoe
filled with leaves,
749
00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:44,624
and it fills him with
inexplicable sadness.
750
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:47,377
He walks down his side street
and sees striking colors
751
00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:48,962
in the faces of the
people around him...
752
00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,381
...details in these
beautiful brick walls
753
00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:53,800
and weeds that he must
have passed every day
754
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:54,635
but never noticed.
755
00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:56,302
The air smells different,
756
00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,680
brighter somehow, and the
currents under the bridge
757
00:50:58,681 --> 00:51:02,809
look strange and vivid and
the sun is warming his face
758
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:06,312
and the world is clumsy
and beautiful and new.
759
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:09,857
And it's as though
he's been sleepwalking,
760
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,985
asleep for God knows how long,
761
00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:16,486
and something has
violently shaken him... awake.
762
00:51:16,532 --> 00:51:20,077
His bathmats are gorgeous.
763
00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:25,123
The grain patterns in
his cheap wood cabinets
764
00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:27,834
vibrate something
deep within him.
765
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:30,878
He's fascinated by the way
his paper towels drink water.
766
00:51:30,879 --> 00:51:33,631
He's never really
appreciated these things...
767
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:35,133
all this detail.
768
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,342
He's never noticed...
769
00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:38,261
...detail... he's alive...
770
00:51:38,262 --> 00:51:38,887
...he's never noticed...
771
00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,847
...he's alive...
772
00:51:40,848 --> 00:51:42,348
he's alive...
773
00:51:42,349 --> 00:51:45,518
he's alive...
774
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,854
The stars rattle
him to the core...
775
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:50,023
how these lights
have travelled for tens
776
00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:52,317
of millions of years to
reach him at this moment...
777
00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:54,277
...how somewhere far
away our own sun looks
778
00:51:54,278 --> 00:51:55,320
just like one of these...
779
00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:57,614
...how many of the
stars no longer even exist,
780
00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,741
but whose ancient light
is just reaching him now...
781
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:01,826
an impression from a ghost...
782
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:04,704
...an amazing, infinite
time machine every night
783
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:08,249
above his head that he's
ignored for most of his life.
784
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,710
He wants to stop people
in the street and say,
785
00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:12,879
"isn't this amazing?
786
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,632
Isn't everything amazing?"
787
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,800
He runs to the car rental place
788
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:20,553
and finds himself a
freeway and drives all night,
789
00:52:20,554 --> 00:52:23,723
following directions in his head
to a place he can't remember...
790
00:52:23,724 --> 00:52:27,143
absorbing everything he can
before it all fades again
791
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:28,853
with the morning.
792
00:52:33,901 --> 00:52:37,279
He's got the keys to this car.
793
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:42,825
He also has keys to a motel
room but he can't remember
794
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:45,536
the last time he slept.
795
00:52:45,537 --> 00:52:50,037
He's sitting in the sun
outside of a laundromat.
796
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:54,170
An older guy in a baseball
cap stands at a pay phone
797
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:57,841
and nervously lifts and
hangs up the receiver.
798
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,941
He asks to borrow Bill's pencil
799
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:17,443
and then places a
call to his daughter.
800
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:20,321
He tells her he loves her
and he's proud of her
801
00:53:20,322 --> 00:53:24,117
and that one clay soon,
"We'll finally have our clay."
802
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,869
Then he says,
"Fantastic, fantastic,
803
00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:28,454
and hangs up the phone.
804
00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:29,706
Although it looks like the wind
805
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,082
had been knocked out of him,
806
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:34,836
he presents the pencil back to
Bill with a little flourish,
807
00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:37,588
as though proud no
harm had come to it
808
00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:39,340
while in his possession.
809
00:53:41,593 --> 00:53:44,887
He dreams of fog on
the dark edge of a cliff,
810
00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:46,472
where hundreds of feet below,
811
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:49,642
the deep sea swells
up against the rocks.
812
00:53:49,643 --> 00:53:52,145
And if you lean over the
edge and squint your eyes
813
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:55,481
just right, you can barely
make out the gray shapes
814
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,984
of all the cars that had
driven off the cliff
815
00:53:57,985 --> 00:54:02,071
over the years, sunken
deep beneath the surface.
816
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:05,158
And as each wave
washes slowly over them,
817
00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:07,994
the undertow quietly
pulls their headlights
818
00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:09,454
on and off...
819
00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:10,997
on and off...
820
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:14,792
...on an endless loop, growing
slowly dimmer over the years
821
00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:18,504
until the clay comes that
they fade completely.
822
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:27,764
He's at a house now.
823
00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:31,058
When he was little, he would run
through a house just like this
824
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:33,186
with a flashlight
pointed at the ceiling,
825
00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:36,814
pretending he was an astronaut
soaring over the moon.
826
00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:39,108
A familiar person's here.
827
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:40,902
He's not sure how he found him,
828
00:54:40,903 --> 00:54:43,237
maybe he's been followed,
but they're talking now
829
00:54:43,238 --> 00:54:44,906
and Bill is given an address.
830
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:48,117
An address his mother never
wanted him to have, he says,
831
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,161
but it's important
Bill have it now.
832
00:54:50,162 --> 00:54:52,580
An address where he
can find his father.
833
00:54:52,581 --> 00:54:54,123
Bill's real father.
834
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:56,834
A man who was gone
before he was born,
835
00:54:56,835 --> 00:55:01,047
a man he'd only met once
but was too young to know it.
836
00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:07,053
And he's driving again
now, for several hours,
837
00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:08,262
he's not sure...
838
00:55:08,263 --> 00:55:11,182
...and with every mile he
loses a few more memories...
839
00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:12,892
...and he finds
another motel,
840
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,936
and that night he eats
a lot of ice cream
841
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:17,898
and doesn't remember
his dreams at all...
842
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:24,028
He's in a nursing home...
843
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:26,572
is he old?
844
00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:30,618
A room full of windows...
845
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,787
And he gives a name on a paper
that's not in his handwriting
846
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:34,413
to the front counter...
847
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:37,708
...and a frail old man is being
wheeled to see him now...
848
00:55:37,709 --> 00:55:40,336
...a man who's been
here for over ten years,
849
00:55:40,337 --> 00:55:44,837
but rarely had a visitor.
850
00:55:49,805 --> 00:55:52,598
Neither of these two people
remember why they're there,
851
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:55,393
or who exactly
this other person is.
852
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:59,894
But they sit and they
watch a game show together.
853
00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:04,610
And when it's time
for bill to leave,
854
00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:07,530
he stands and says
something beautiful to him.
855
00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:12,743
And neither of them understand
what he means exactly,
856
00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:15,580
but the old man
begins to cry anyway...
857
00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:17,748
and they will never
see each other again.
858
00:56:20,419 --> 00:56:22,044
He's driving a car.
859
00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:24,589
And every time he
realizes he's driving a car,
860
00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:27,466
he figures he should
just keep driving the car.
861
00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:29,260
And sometimes he sings.
862
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:30,803
And sometimes he cries.
863
00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:32,889
And the left side of
his body is beginning
864
00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,807
to grow slack and numb.
865
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:37,393
And all he wants to do
is just keep driving,
866
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,020
somehow to keep on driving,
867
00:56:39,021 --> 00:56:40,897
he has no more
directions to follow
868
00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,858
but he fills the car with
gas again and again
869
00:56:43,859 --> 00:56:45,526
and keeps going into the night,
870
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:49,906
he wants to keep going,
he wants to go forever...
871
00:57:13,722 --> 00:57:16,933
It's such a beautiful clay.
872
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:23,189
Wait a minute.
873
00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:25,524
He's not going to die here...
874
00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:26,442
but he doesn't die here.
875
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:26,901
No, no, no, no, no.
876
00:57:26,902 --> 00:57:27,402
Bill, get up.
877
00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:28,069
Bill?
878
00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:28,695
Get up, Bill.
879
00:57:28,696 --> 00:57:30,071
No, he can't die here.
880
00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:31,322
He's not gonna die here.
881
00:57:31,323 --> 00:57:32,907
He can't ever die.
882
00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,200
Bill?...
883
00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:35,785
Bill?
884
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:44,543
He will spend hundreds of
years traveling the world,
885
00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:47,838
learning all there is to know.
886
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:51,092
He will learn every language.
887
00:57:51,093 --> 00:57:55,054
He will read every book.
888
00:57:55,055 --> 00:57:59,141
He will know every land.
889
00:57:59,142 --> 00:58:01,560
He will spend thousands of years
890
00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:04,897
creating stunning works of art.
891
00:58:07,526 --> 00:58:11,278
He will learn to meditate
to control all pain.
892
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:14,782
As wars will be fought...
893
00:58:14,783 --> 00:58:17,869
and great loves found...
894
00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:23,040
...and lost.
895
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:25,710
And found...
896
00:58:28,213 --> 00:58:30,256
...lost...
897
00:58:30,257 --> 00:58:31,507
and found.
898
00:58:32,926 --> 00:58:35,136
And found...
899
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:37,430
...and found...
900
00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:41,931
...and memories built upon
memories until life runs
901
00:58:42,144 --> 00:58:44,687
on an endless loop.
902
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:54,905
He will father hundreds of
thousands of children...
903
00:58:54,906 --> 00:58:56,949
...whose own
exponential offspring
904
00:58:56,950 --> 00:59:01,450
he'll slowly lose track
of through the years.
905
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:04,832
Whose millions of beautiful
lives will all eventually
906
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:07,794
be swept again from the Earth.
907
00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:15,843
And still, Bill will continue.
908
00:59:15,844 --> 00:59:20,344
He will learn more about life
than any being in history.
909
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:26,308
But death will forever
be a stranger to him.
910
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:28,647
People will come and go,
911
00:59:28,648 --> 00:59:31,650
until names lose all meaning.
912
00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:33,569
Until people lose all meaning
913
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,821
and vanish entirely
from the world.
914
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:44,201
And still, Bill Will live On.
915
00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:49,126
He will befriend the next
inhabitants of the Earth.
916
00:59:49,127 --> 00:59:53,380
Beings of light who
revere him as a god.
917
00:59:57,677 --> 01:00:02,177
And Bill will outlive them all.
918
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:07,099
For millions and
millions of years.
919
01:00:07,979 --> 01:00:11,941
Exploring, learning, living...
920
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:14,819
Until the Earth is
swallowed beneath his feet.
921
01:00:19,241 --> 01:00:22,577
Until the Sun is
long since gone.
922
01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:30,251
Until time loses all meaning
and the moment comes
923
01:00:30,252 --> 01:00:33,379
that he knows only the
positions of the stars...
924
01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:37,842
...and sees them whether
his eyes are closed or open.
925
01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:39,760
Until he forgets his name
926
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:44,261
and the place where
he'd once come from.
927
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:47,101
He lives and he lives,
928
01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:50,522
until all of the lights go out.
73986
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