All language subtitles for Problem.Child.2.1991.720p.BluRay.x264-GUACAMOLE

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali Download
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay Download
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,000 TopTeo.com 1 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:32,414 Junior, this is kind of a sentimental moment. 2 00:00:32,588 --> 00:00:35,459 Cold River is where I was born and raised. 3 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:37,922 Everyone I know is here. 4 00:00:38,094 --> 00:00:40,420 Got fond memories of this place. 5 00:00:40,597 --> 00:00:43,088 Fond memories? What are you talking about? 6 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:46,718 Everybody hated you. Your father, your wife, 7 00:00:46,895 --> 00:00:49,469 those horrible neighbours... 8 00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:52,475 You're right. Let's blow this joint! 9 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,859 Yah! Whoo-ha! 10 00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:05,491 When the pressure's on and you're all alone 11 00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:10,336 Take a little ride into the danger zone 12 00:01:11,673 --> 00:01:14,543 When the moon is high And the skies are clear 13 00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:19,381 Just show me a sign and we'll be outta here 14 00:01:19,556 --> 00:01:23,471 Take me up on a wing and a prayer... 15 00:01:23,686 --> 00:01:25,263 Look. 16 00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:29,518 If you need a friend, you know... I'll be there 17 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,270 Hound dogs howlin' all through the night 18 00:01:37,492 --> 00:01:40,197 Eight miles high and I'm doin' all right 19 00:01:42,289 --> 00:01:45,076 Better move over 'Cause you're goin' too slow 20 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:49,749 I feel the need for freedom Now it's time to go 21 00:01:49,923 --> 00:01:53,090 It's a fine line between pleasure and pain 22 00:01:55,095 --> 00:01:59,971 Let your conscience be your guide Till we meet again 23 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:04,975 Your time has come You can stand or you can run 24 00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:09,477 But don't keep it all inside 25 00:02:10,278 --> 00:02:14,821 'Cause you gotta understand That there ain't no second chance 26 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:19,863 No one gets outta here alive Only the strong survive... 27 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,631 We're finally here. 28 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:42,848 Take me up on a wing and a prayer 29 00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:49,736 If you need someone, you know... I'll be there 30 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:54,282 Your time has come You can stand or you can run 31 00:02:55,744 --> 00:02:58,615 But don't keep it all inside 32 00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:03,451 'Cause you gotta understand That there ain't no second chance 33 00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:08,871 No one gets outta here alive Only the strong survive... 34 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:15,136 Only the strong survive... 35 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,976 - Is it the one with the yellow roof? - No. 36 00:03:19,811 --> 00:03:23,892 - Is it the one with the purple flowers? - No. 37 00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:26,771 The one with the "Sold" sign in the yard? 38 00:03:26,944 --> 00:03:28,604 Bingo! 39 00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:31,568 Only the strong survive 40 00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:37,618 Dad, come on. Let's go. Quick! 41 00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:43,535 Oh, my God! 42 00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:46,548 - Look at that hunk. - Hubba hubba. 43 00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:50,961 And the realtor says he's single. 44 00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:53,130 Single?! 45 00:03:53,306 --> 00:03:55,383 - What do you think, Junior? - Great. 46 00:03:55,559 --> 00:03:58,015 Come on! Quick, Dad! 47 00:03:58,187 --> 00:04:02,232 Whoa! Totally awesome! 48 00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:05,235 - Radical! - You like it? 49 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:08,606 Wow! It's fantastic! 50 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:11,189 Wait till you see your bedroom. 51 00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:13,410 Yee-ha! 52 00:04:13,578 --> 00:04:16,994 - Home, sweet home! - Yeah, that's right! 53 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:19,952 This place is gigantic. 54 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,749 You could play football in here. 55 00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:25,460 - Hit me, I'm open. - Here's the bomb. OK... 56 00:04:25,634 --> 00:04:28,718 So here we are, starting our new life. 57 00:04:28,887 --> 00:04:31,461 It's nice having a guy who loves me. 58 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,638 Usually, people take one look and run screaming for the hills. 59 00:04:35,811 --> 00:04:41,150 You know, I think me and Dad are gonna do all right together. 60 00:04:41,317 --> 00:04:44,104 Should I spike you? No, it's illegal to spike kids. 61 00:04:44,278 --> 00:04:46,355 Come here, buddy. It's just you and me, Junior. 62 00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:49,858 Hang on a second. Somebody's at the door. 63 00:04:51,995 --> 00:04:54,866 Hi, I wanted to welcome you to our little neighbourhood 64 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,116 so I baked you a... 65 00:04:57,292 --> 00:04:59,997 ...cherry pie. 66 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:04,168 That's so sweet. Look, Junior. She baked us a cherry pie. 67 00:05:04,342 --> 00:05:06,714 How thoughtful. 68 00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:10,592 All right! First and ten! 69 00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:13,384 Junior! What are you doing? 70 00:05:13,561 --> 00:05:16,645 I want you to apologise to this kind lady. 71 00:05:18,357 --> 00:05:21,643 Oh! You're even better-looking up close. 72 00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:24,071 Excuse me. 73 00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:30,363 What?! 74 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,745 - Dad, what about football? - Thank you. 75 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:39,583 We can play later. Don't you want to meet these wonderful ladies? 76 00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:43,089 Out of the way, girls! Oh, thank God! Another man! 77 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:46,628 Another Joe I can talk to. 78 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,762 I'm going crazy living here. 79 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:53,179 You know, Mortville. The divorcee capital of the world. 80 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:58,265 Anyway, we're having a barbecue. So I thought I'd be neighbourly and invite you over. 81 00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:01,728 I'm Aron Burger, I live next door. 82 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:05,820 My name is Ben Healy and this is my son, Junior. 83 00:06:07,744 --> 00:06:11,410 Funny-looking kid. Anyway, we'll take this with us. 84 00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:14,868 Well, neighbour, what do you think of my cooker? 85 00:06:15,044 --> 00:06:18,247 - Very... large. - You bet. 86 00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:22,171 Cost me a whole month's paycheck, but it's worth it. 87 00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:26,839 You're not impressed. I guess your wife does the cooking. 88 00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:29,257 No, I'm... not married, actually. 89 00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:31,308 We... broke up. 90 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,728 And you got the kid? Bad deal! 91 00:06:34,898 --> 00:06:37,105 Did you get screwed! 92 00:06:37,276 --> 00:06:39,945 This neighbourhood has a move-in fee. 93 00:06:40,112 --> 00:06:43,030 You have to give each of us ten dollars. 94 00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:47,660 20 bucks?! I'm not giving you diddly-squat. 95 00:06:47,829 --> 00:06:50,664 Pay us or leave! 96 00:06:50,832 --> 00:06:56,836 And with a 50-1 chick to stud ratio in this town, you gotta get started. 97 00:06:57,006 --> 00:07:00,376 Dad, can we go? These people are real dicks. 98 00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:04,419 Well, excuse me, Your Highness. 99 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:08,643 I didn't realise that simple little me and my simple little family 100 00:07:08,811 --> 00:07:12,227 weren't good enough for your high and mighty tastes. 101 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:17,025 Hey, I should go and slip on my silk tuxedo 102 00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:22,355 and then we can trot out the champagne and the escargots. 103 00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:26,069 Junior. Try to be polite. We're his guests. 104 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,657 OK, Dad. 105 00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:31,247 - I'm sorry about that. - It's all right. 106 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,253 We've taken a long trip and he's just a little tired. 107 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,588 My girls are the same way. Brats. 108 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,216 Healy, go make yourself useful. 109 00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:49,015 Get some more barbecue sauce from the little woman. 110 00:07:49,188 --> 00:07:52,142 Barbecue sauce. Sure thing, neighbour. 111 00:07:56,821 --> 00:08:00,237 Here's to the start of a beautiful meal. 112 00:08:06,164 --> 00:08:07,873 Damn. 113 00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:15,540 This one's not getting away. 114 00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,130 Gotcha! 115 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:51,582 - My first day of school. - I'm so proud of you. 116 00:08:51,756 --> 00:08:53,795 You're such a good girl. 117 00:08:54,842 --> 00:08:58,294 Junior, get out of this car. You are going to school! 118 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,594 No way! I'd rather eat a turd. 119 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,476 Junior, 120 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:07,593 third grade is the foundation of a great education. 121 00:09:07,773 --> 00:09:10,774 If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself. 122 00:09:10,943 --> 00:09:13,315 I'll take a couple others down with me. 123 00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,112 Junior, 124 00:09:15,281 --> 00:09:18,946 I am your father and you'll do as I say! 125 00:09:19,118 --> 00:09:20,992 Now, come on. 126 00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,250 Now look what you've done. 127 00:09:31,507 --> 00:09:33,299 Get over here. 128 00:09:33,468 --> 00:09:37,217 Take this. Goodbye and good luck. 129 00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:50,436 It's his first day, he's a little nervous. 130 00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,995 It's him. 131 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:06,660 Yes, changing careers was the smartest thing I ever did. 132 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:10,288 Yes, oh, yeah! Because I love being the principal. 133 00:10:10,466 --> 00:10:13,383 Because I hate children. I hate them. 134 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:16,008 Being a principal's great, 'cause I hate children. 135 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,256 I bark, they do what I say. 136 00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:21,138 Anything. Crawl around on all fours. They do that. 137 00:10:21,311 --> 00:10:25,096 Would you mind jumping out of the window? OK, sure. 138 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:27,148 Out they go. Anything. 139 00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:30,770 Principal Peabody, there's a new student to see you. 140 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:33,438 I'll have to call you back. 141 00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:37,994 I have to deal with one of the little weenies right now. 142 00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:40,405 OK, call you back. 143 00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:43,998 Send the little sweetheart in. 144 00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:55,512 Hey, pea-brain. What are you doing here? 145 00:10:55,682 --> 00:10:58,054 What am I doing here? What are you doing here? 146 00:10:58,226 --> 00:11:01,761 I belong here. You belong in Cold River. 147 00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:04,726 This is Mortville. What are you doing here? 148 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:08,898 You're not here. That's it. That's the only answer. You're not here. 149 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:13,318 You're not here. I'm imagining you. You're a figment of my imagination. 150 00:11:13,492 --> 00:11:18,156 If I was a figment of your imagination, could I do this? 151 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:21,119 Oh! 152 00:11:22,878 --> 00:11:25,714 Did something crawl in here and die?! 153 00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:28,799 You disgusting kid! 154 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:32,218 You disgusting, flatulating kid! 155 00:11:32,388 --> 00:11:36,801 Whoa! I just had a new paint job, too. This is horrible. 156 00:11:36,977 --> 00:11:39,183 - What grade are you in? - Third. 157 00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:42,190 Third. That means you're here for another four years. 158 00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:46,605 This is a mistake. This is a big mistake, 'cause you are a genius. 159 00:11:46,779 --> 00:11:48,985 You are so intelligent. 160 00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:52,111 Anyone who can break wind like that has to have a mind. 161 00:11:52,285 --> 00:11:55,037 So I'm gonna pass you on to the sixth grade. 162 00:11:55,204 --> 00:11:57,992 In one year, you're gonna be in another school. 163 00:11:58,166 --> 00:12:02,544 My dad says third grade is the foundation of my education. 164 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:06,628 Your dad says that. Your dad is a moron! 165 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,260 He's a moron! 166 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,382 Know what a moron is? That's what your dad is. 167 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:15,934 Anyway, you don't belong here. You belong in the sixth grade. 168 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,724 That's where you are, because you're a genius, kid. 169 00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:20,605 A genius. 170 00:12:24,028 --> 00:12:26,982 Sixth grade? I Wowl 171 00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:30,656 I should fart in more people's offices. 172 00:12:42,422 --> 00:12:46,373 Oh, no, not another one. How many kids are they gonna make me teach? 173 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:50,971 Get in there and find a seat. Hustle, small fry. 174 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:55,008 I'm not gonna have you hold up my class all year. Move it. 175 00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:57,394 Let's start with a nice easy review 176 00:12:57,565 --> 00:13:01,479 to see how much you under-achievers remember from last year. 177 00:13:01,652 --> 00:13:03,526 Polly, what's 17 times 8? 178 00:13:03,696 --> 00:13:06,270 - 136. - Good. 179 00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:09,699 Richard, what's 72 divided by negative 9? 180 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,827 - Negative 8, sir. - Fine. 181 00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:13,621 Murph. 182 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,157 Murph. What's three plus two? 183 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,131 Four. 184 00:13:25,261 --> 00:13:27,633 You've been in the sixth grade since I started here. 185 00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:30,806 I really want to get you out this year. 186 00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:34,925 Please work with me. What's three plus two? 187 00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:37,606 Nine? 188 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,233 This is gonna be a long year. 189 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,231 Five, all right? The answer's five. 190 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:45,817 You! 191 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,578 - What are you saying? - I said five. 192 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,498 I'm glad somebody's paying attention. Polly, pass out the workbooks. 193 00:13:55,669 --> 00:14:00,581 I'm gonna rummage in the storage closet, see if I can find something for Murph. 194 00:14:19,403 --> 00:14:22,321 Who let the baby into the sixth grade? 195 00:14:23,991 --> 00:14:25,450 What's in your bag? 196 00:14:26,536 --> 00:14:29,620 - Your diapers? - No, my lunch, pin- head. 197 00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,878 Little kid doesn't know who he's talking to. 198 00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:37,955 I'm senior student in this school. 199 00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:41,133 No shit, you've been here since 1970. 200 00:14:41,302 --> 00:14:43,544 Oh, you're gonna hurt! 201 00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:54,639 This is your last day of school. Ever. 202 00:15:22,096 --> 00:15:26,841 Maybe Dad's right. Maybe Mortville is gonna be a great place to live. 203 00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:49,625 Good morning, Miss Dumore. 204 00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:52,415 They missed a payment? Toss 'em in the street. 205 00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:55,672 But, ma'am, that's a nursing home. They're invalids. 206 00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:57,964 Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. 207 00:15:58,135 --> 00:16:00,805 Are we all set for that charity ball? 208 00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:05,966 Your tickets are confirmed, but Sergio says he needs money for a new tux. 209 00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:07,935 More money? 210 00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:11,308 I gave him two grand yesterday. 211 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:13,725 These damned gigolos. 212 00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,607 Every man in Mortville wants to bleed me dry. 213 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:21,074 Why can't I just find a good, decent man? 214 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:25,741 One with integrity, one with compassion, one with... 215 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:29,119 Oh, my God! Who's that beefcake? 216 00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:31,833 I'm Ben Healy, we spoke on the phone. 217 00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:35,042 I don't know. I suppose he's a customer at the bank. 218 00:16:35,217 --> 00:16:37,376 Out of my way, fat boy. 219 00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:42,892 That's why I wanna start my own business. I wanna create something out of nothing. 220 00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:45,467 I don't just wanna take. I wanna give. 221 00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:48,563 I wanna put something back into the community. 222 00:16:51,485 --> 00:16:54,652 He's incredible. And he's just my type. 223 00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:58,191 Smith, I want you to find out everything about this guy. 224 00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:01,950 Because I think I've found myself hubby number seven! 225 00:17:11,006 --> 00:17:13,841 Hi. 226 00:17:20,976 --> 00:17:23,301 - Hey, Junior! - Hey, Dad! 227 00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:26,266 So, tell me, how was your first day at school? 228 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,978 Pretty good, they skipped me three grades. 229 00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:33,612 They skipped you? That's fantastic! I can't believe it! 230 00:17:33,781 --> 00:17:36,189 I told you you'd hit if off here. 231 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,736 So, tell me. Did you make any new friends? 232 00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:44,409 Well, how would you define the word "friend"? 233 00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:50,290 - Aah! - Uh! 234 00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:52,542 Ow. 235 00:18:01,561 --> 00:18:03,103 Who are you? 236 00:18:03,271 --> 00:18:07,483 I'm Annie Young. I'm the nurse here at Mortville Elementary. 237 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,730 The children are very lucky. 238 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,869 - I'm sorry. Let me... - It's OK. 239 00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:21,197 Oh, God. Excuse me. Here, I'll get... 240 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:26,581 If you two are done fooling around, maybe we can go home? 241 00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:28,463 Yeah... 242 00:18:28,632 --> 00:18:33,674 Give me a few minutes, Junior. I think the swelling's coming back. 243 00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:37,971 I'll put a warm compress on that. 244 00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:40,301 You're such a good little soldier. 245 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,856 "Give me a few minutes, Junior." "Give me a few minutes, Junior." 246 00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:49,862 I've been here for an hour! 247 00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,568 Who does that nurse think she is? 248 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:55,701 Mm... 249 00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:58,325 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 250 00:18:58,498 --> 00:19:00,740 Oh, it's you. Buzz off. 251 00:19:00,917 --> 00:19:04,287 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 252 00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:09,958 If I were you, I wouldn't do a lot of things. Like go out in public. 253 00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:21,847 Next time, you'll listen to me. 254 00:19:29,656 --> 00:19:32,148 Oh, my God, he's an Adonis! 255 00:19:32,326 --> 00:19:34,235 Look at these stats! 256 00:19:34,412 --> 00:19:36,155 Six feet tall. 257 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,656 185 pounds. 258 00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:42,961 In-seam, 35 inches. Sweet Jesus, take me home! 259 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,294 What's this thing? 260 00:19:48,468 --> 00:19:50,047 His son. 261 00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:55,883 "Boy and convicted killer go on joyride"? 262 00:19:56,811 --> 00:20:00,430 "Little league team hospitalised"? 263 00:20:00,941 --> 00:20:04,642 "Union Carbide plant explodes"? 264 00:20:05,696 --> 00:20:07,356 This kid's a nightmare. 265 00:20:07,531 --> 00:20:09,987 Do you want to forget the whole thing? 266 00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:12,068 Smith... 267 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,904 When someone has a bum leg, 268 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,537 you don't shoot the patient. 269 00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:20,378 You just cut off the leg. 270 00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:28,296 That's why you want a franchise. Big Ben is the fastest - growing sports equipment empire. 271 00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:30,463 Hey, it's Big Ben. 272 00:20:30,639 --> 00:20:32,596 Pick up that phone and call now. 273 00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:36,183 For just $399, you can get one of my starter kits. 274 00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:40,932 Then you'll be on your way to having it all, just like me, Big Ben Healy. 275 00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:43,316 What's this? 276 00:20:44,488 --> 00:20:48,949 Look at this. What sort of idiot would send Grandpa money? 277 00:20:49,118 --> 00:20:51,111 That's my namel 278 00:20:51,287 --> 00:20:54,372 - The old man's finally lost his mind. - Uh-huh. 279 00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:58,919 - Come downstairs. I got a surprise for you. - All right! A surprise? 280 00:20:59,087 --> 00:21:00,795 - Where is it? - Down the steps. 281 00:21:00,964 --> 00:21:03,669 Now, where is that surprise? 282 00:21:03,842 --> 00:21:06,049 - Surprise! - Hi, Junior! 283 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:10,467 I'm Rhoda, your babysitter. We're gonna be good friends. 284 00:21:10,641 --> 00:21:13,393 Dad, let's slow this down a minute. 285 00:21:13,561 --> 00:21:15,767 Now, what is going on here? 286 00:21:15,939 --> 00:21:19,355 This is Rhoda, your babysitter. You're gonna be good friends. 287 00:21:19,526 --> 00:21:22,859 Yeah, I heard that part. But why? 288 00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:24,987 Yoo-hoo! 289 00:21:25,157 --> 00:21:27,149 Because I'm going out on a date. 290 00:21:27,951 --> 00:21:30,027 Hi, Ben. I'm all ready. 291 00:21:30,204 --> 00:21:33,954 Great. Junior, you remember Debbie Claukinski? 292 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,958 How can I forget? Her pie gave us the runs. 293 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:43,462 That's not true. He's thinking about someone else's pie. 294 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,930 Anyway, we don't want to be late. I got reservations at the Saint Pierre Club. 295 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:53,224 Oh, I'm so excited! My ex-husband never took me to fancy places. 296 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:58,355 Not that I'm a gal who rattles on about her last marriage. That guy is insanely jealous. 297 00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:01,018 Dad, stay here and have fun with me. 298 00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,272 Junior, you're gonna have fun with Rhoda. 299 00:22:03,449 --> 00:22:08,526 I'm sure you can think of a lot of fun games to play with her, OK? I'll talk to you later. 300 00:22:09,455 --> 00:22:12,824 Welcome to the wonderful world of pigs. 301 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,204 Dirty, hungry and always horny, 302 00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:19,879 they're Mother Nature's clowns of the farm world. 303 00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:23,585 Watching these charming critters roll in the mud, 304 00:22:23,762 --> 00:22:28,057 it's hard to believe they have an intelligence as high as some humans. 305 00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:30,302 But it's true. 306 00:22:31,771 --> 00:22:33,266 Goodnight, Dad. 307 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,109 Hey, brat. Put that back. I'm watching. 308 00:22:41,699 --> 00:22:43,941 This babysitter sucks. 309 00:22:44,118 --> 00:22:47,072 I gotta get Dad back on track here. 310 00:22:48,289 --> 00:22:52,239 I wonder whatever happened to Mr Claukinski? 311 00:23:03,764 --> 00:23:05,139 Hello? 312 00:23:05,307 --> 00:23:09,886 Are you the guy that was married to Debbie Claukinski? 313 00:23:10,062 --> 00:23:12,636 Yeah, but then she left me. 314 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:18,646 She took my house, my money and my pride. 315 00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:23,702 Well, I thought you'd like to know that she found herself a new guy 316 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:29,326 and they're out at the Saint Pierre Club, having fun at your expense. 317 00:23:29,501 --> 00:23:30,876 Who is this? 318 00:23:31,044 --> 00:23:33,998 Just call me a friend. 319 00:23:44,141 --> 00:23:45,968 Ben, this evening is perfect. 320 00:23:46,143 --> 00:23:50,224 I know why the Mortville Gazette gave this restaurant three and a half forks. 321 00:23:51,107 --> 00:23:54,607 - Excuse me, we have a dress code. - Let me in, you fool. 322 00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:58,903 To us. 323 00:23:59,074 --> 00:24:00,817 Tonight. 324 00:24:04,121 --> 00:24:06,279 Ah-ha! 325 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:09,708 Debbie, you tramp! What are you doing here? 326 00:24:09,878 --> 00:24:12,548 I'm a free woman. I can do what I want. 327 00:24:12,714 --> 00:24:14,339 I show you. 328 00:24:16,093 --> 00:24:19,961 Debbie, you leave with me. Come, we take the bus home. 329 00:24:20,139 --> 00:24:22,891 Like hell I will. I'm on a date. 330 00:24:24,102 --> 00:24:27,435 You home-breaker! 331 00:24:30,525 --> 00:24:32,518 Oh, my kidney! 332 00:24:32,694 --> 00:24:34,853 You bully! 333 00:24:38,158 --> 00:24:40,863 Ben, shame on you! 334 00:24:42,371 --> 00:24:44,660 Laser cannon locked on. 335 00:24:45,708 --> 00:24:48,116 Fire laser cannon. 336 00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:56,511 Finally, Dad's home. 337 00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:02,134 - I thought you'd never get here. - Who's that weirdo? 338 00:25:02,310 --> 00:25:06,688 - Gee, baby, you work fast. - I got Russian hands and Roman fingers. 339 00:25:06,856 --> 00:25:09,312 Now where's that master bedroom? 340 00:25:09,484 --> 00:25:11,857 Here it is, darlin'! 341 00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:18,868 - This ain't no motel. - Mind your own beeswax, twerp. Go watch TV. 342 00:25:19,036 --> 00:25:21,527 Yeah, what she said. 343 00:25:36,221 --> 00:25:38,973 Voytek, you were always the best. 344 00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:40,683 Yeah. 345 00:25:42,353 --> 00:25:44,642 So much for my first date. 346 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,937 Now what? 347 00:25:50,111 --> 00:25:51,191 All right! 348 00:25:51,363 --> 00:25:54,115 Yeah... go! 349 00:25:56,702 --> 00:25:59,194 Yes! That's great! 350 00:25:59,372 --> 00:26:00,950 Look at that. 351 00:26:02,625 --> 00:26:05,461 I didn't think people could do that. 352 00:26:05,629 --> 00:26:08,120 She ain't no real blonde. 353 00:26:09,299 --> 00:26:11,588 Come on! 354 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,845 Keep it up, my God! 355 00:26:19,059 --> 00:26:21,764 - He's still going! - Unbelievable. 356 00:26:26,776 --> 00:26:28,354 Yeah, go for it! 357 00:26:28,528 --> 00:26:31,197 Healy, that's hot stuff. 358 00:26:34,576 --> 00:26:37,198 Junior, we're new here in this community. 359 00:26:37,371 --> 00:26:40,491 Can't we at least attempt to fit in? 360 00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:44,499 Why are you getting angry at me? I didn't do it, I watched it. 361 00:26:44,671 --> 00:26:47,423 Yes, and so did the entire neighbourhood. 362 00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,500 I didn't hear any complaints. 363 00:26:51,637 --> 00:26:55,053 Great. The evening that wouldn't die. 364 00:26:55,975 --> 00:26:57,350 What? 365 00:26:58,770 --> 00:27:00,846 There's two more outside. 366 00:27:01,022 --> 00:27:04,937 - Dad, what are you doing here? - I thought I'd spend my vacation with you. 367 00:27:05,110 --> 00:27:08,230 - Excuse me? - How did he find us? 368 00:27:09,156 --> 00:27:11,943 You rascal. I even brought Nippy. 369 00:27:12,117 --> 00:27:15,321 Hey, boy. Come here, Nip. 370 00:27:15,496 --> 00:27:17,572 Get this freak off me! Get! 371 00:27:17,748 --> 00:27:22,245 Don't scare him, for God's sakes. He's only trying to be friendly. 372 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:25,706 - You know this dog is unbalanced. - Get him out of here. 373 00:27:25,882 --> 00:27:27,673 Nippy, stay. 374 00:27:28,426 --> 00:27:30,051 What is going on here? 375 00:27:30,220 --> 00:27:35,013 You never take vacations, and if you did you wouldn't spend them with me. 376 00:27:35,184 --> 00:27:36,976 Little Ben. 377 00:27:38,271 --> 00:27:41,189 Little Ben, you're my only son. 378 00:27:41,358 --> 00:27:45,438 - Dad, you hate me. - OK, you figured me out. 379 00:27:45,612 --> 00:27:47,854 - I'm not on vacation, I'm broke. - You're what? 380 00:27:48,031 --> 00:27:51,614 Chapter 11, my S and L crashed, my creditors are after me. 381 00:27:51,785 --> 00:27:56,033 - I gotta find a place to hide out. - Why don't you hide out somewhere else? 382 00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:59,658 Why don't you mind your own business? Nobody asked you. 383 00:27:59,836 --> 00:28:02,753 Wait, you can't be broke, we saw you on TV. 384 00:28:02,922 --> 00:28:06,588 That was a big rip-off. There were no franchises. 385 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,215 Hell, I only sold one starter kit. 386 00:28:09,388 --> 00:28:14,631 I gotta find a place to lay low until this whole godforsaken thing blows over. 387 00:28:14,810 --> 00:28:18,144 Come on, Little Ben. Do your old man a favour. 388 00:28:18,314 --> 00:28:21,517 All those years I spent putting a roof over your head. 389 00:28:21,692 --> 00:28:25,560 I even bribed that dean to keep you in college, remember? 390 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:29,108 You know something? You owe me. 391 00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:34,196 This room is a little small. 392 00:28:34,373 --> 00:28:38,288 Well, it's all we've got. You can sleep in one of the bunk-beds. 393 00:28:38,461 --> 00:28:39,955 Or you can leave. 394 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:42,336 No, it'll do. 395 00:28:42,507 --> 00:28:44,833 But I get the top bunk. 395 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,000 TopTeo.com 396 00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:41,317 Finally! 397 00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:08,925 Some educators underestimate the value of civics, 398 00:30:09,102 --> 00:30:11,390 but I say, for the growing mind, 399 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:15,145 there's nothing more important than pride in your city. 400 00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:18,401 This is Highway 39. 401 00:30:19,613 --> 00:30:21,985 This is the Mortville Steel Mill. 402 00:30:23,867 --> 00:30:28,161 And this is Mortville's very own Love Rock. 403 00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:32,163 When the Dumore family settled this region, they stole it from the Indians. 404 00:30:32,335 --> 00:30:35,502 The Indians claim the rock has magic powers. 405 00:30:35,672 --> 00:30:37,249 What kind of magic? 406 00:30:37,423 --> 00:30:39,546 I don't know. Love magic, I guess. 407 00:30:39,718 --> 00:30:44,380 You make a wish and it comes true, at least that's what they tell the tourists. 408 00:30:53,649 --> 00:30:55,689 Can I get a drink of water? 409 00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,734 Yes, you may, but hurry back. 410 00:30:57,904 --> 00:31:01,605 I've got a great slide of the Rotary Club coming straight up. 411 00:31:33,734 --> 00:31:35,941 Hey, pumpkin-head. 412 00:31:36,112 --> 00:31:38,319 You're gonna wish you never said that. 413 00:31:38,490 --> 00:31:40,150 Oh, yeah? 414 00:31:48,792 --> 00:31:50,785 So, what exactly happened? 415 00:31:50,961 --> 00:31:52,955 I was using the fire hose. 416 00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:56,583 Aha. And why were you doing this? 417 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,256 I told you, a fire had broken out and I was trying to save the school. 418 00:32:02,975 --> 00:32:05,015 Junior, what happened? 419 00:32:05,186 --> 00:32:08,602 Your son saved the school. He put out a fire. 420 00:32:10,191 --> 00:32:13,856 Did anyone ask him how it started? Because... 421 00:32:16,072 --> 00:32:18,990 - I'm so sorry, that's very clumsy of me. - That's OK. 422 00:32:19,868 --> 00:32:21,327 Listen... 423 00:32:22,329 --> 00:32:25,994 If Junior seems a little troublesome lately, 424 00:32:26,166 --> 00:32:27,791 I wouldn't worry about it. 425 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,587 He really hasn't made any friends here yet so he's probably a little insecure. 426 00:32:33,466 --> 00:32:36,301 Boy, you really know kids. 427 00:32:38,012 --> 00:32:40,504 Junior and I were gonna get dinner later 428 00:32:40,682 --> 00:32:47,267 and I thought maybe if you didn't have any plans that you'd... care to join us. 429 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,682 No, I can't. 430 00:32:49,859 --> 00:32:51,104 Oh, well... 431 00:32:52,195 --> 00:32:56,359 Maybe you and I could do something Friday night? 432 00:32:56,533 --> 00:32:58,989 I'd like to, but no. 433 00:33:00,621 --> 00:33:03,456 - Saturday? - No, not any night. 434 00:33:04,708 --> 00:33:07,200 - I've got a problem. - Excuse me? 435 00:33:07,378 --> 00:33:11,210 - I can't go out with anyone. - What if we just had dinner... 436 00:33:11,382 --> 00:33:14,253 Dad! Didn't you hear the lady? She's got a problem. 437 00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:19,504 - Quit buggin' her and let's get out of here. - Well, I... We'd better go. 438 00:33:19,683 --> 00:33:23,811 Anyway, it was nice talking to you, Miss Young. 439 00:33:23,979 --> 00:33:25,354 Annie. 440 00:33:25,522 --> 00:33:29,223 It was nice talking to you, too, Ben. And Junior. 441 00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:37,278 "Can we go out on Friday night? On Saturday night?" 442 00:33:37,453 --> 00:33:39,280 "How about Sunday night?" 443 00:33:39,455 --> 00:33:43,619 What's Dad's problem? Doesn't he have any pride? 444 00:33:43,793 --> 00:33:46,794 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 445 00:33:49,632 --> 00:33:52,836 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 446 00:33:53,011 --> 00:33:54,968 I'll have some lemonade. 447 00:33:55,138 --> 00:33:58,009 Certainly, that'll be two dollars. 448 00:33:59,852 --> 00:34:01,394 I've only got a quarter. 449 00:34:01,562 --> 00:34:04,598 Then I guess you're going thirsty, loser. 450 00:34:05,816 --> 00:34:10,277 Dolly, there's no more lemonade. Go back and fill it up. 451 00:34:10,446 --> 00:34:13,732 I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up? 452 00:34:13,908 --> 00:34:17,028 I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up? 453 00:34:17,203 --> 00:34:21,284 Junior, why don't you go back and fill it up? 454 00:34:21,458 --> 00:34:25,705 If you do the work, we might give you a free glass. 455 00:34:27,591 --> 00:34:30,627 OK. I'll go fill it up. 456 00:35:15,225 --> 00:35:16,767 There you go, friends. 457 00:35:16,935 --> 00:35:19,308 You only filled it halfway. 458 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,058 I tried my best. 459 00:35:21,232 --> 00:35:25,182 That's not good enough. For that, you don't get your free glass. 460 00:35:25,362 --> 00:35:27,687 That's OK by me. 461 00:35:29,991 --> 00:35:33,277 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 462 00:35:33,453 --> 00:35:36,324 Boy, oh, boy. It sure is hot. 463 00:35:36,498 --> 00:35:39,749 I'm workin' up quite a sweat out here. 464 00:35:40,795 --> 00:35:45,504 Dolly, Madison, how about a glass of lemonade, huh? 465 00:35:45,675 --> 00:35:48,083 Certainly. That'll be two dollars. 466 00:35:48,261 --> 00:35:51,879 Two dollars? For a glass of lemonade? For me? 467 00:35:53,433 --> 00:35:55,675 Friggin' brats. 468 00:35:56,853 --> 00:35:58,312 Two dollars. 469 00:35:59,356 --> 00:36:01,265 All right, here you go. 470 00:36:19,295 --> 00:36:21,169 Tangy. 471 00:36:26,094 --> 00:36:28,051 Dad, what do you want for dinner? 472 00:36:28,221 --> 00:36:32,967 - Macaroni and cheese or fish sticks? - I'd love to have the fish sticks. 473 00:36:33,143 --> 00:36:36,512 - But I got other plans. - But I was making us dinner. 474 00:36:36,689 --> 00:36:41,066 I can see that, but I'm going out with Emily from down the street. 475 00:36:41,235 --> 00:36:42,979 Am I gonna get another babysitter? 476 00:36:43,154 --> 00:36:48,315 No, don't be silly. No more babysitters for you. We got something better, Grandpa. 477 00:36:48,493 --> 00:36:49,987 Stick him, stick him. 478 00:36:50,161 --> 00:36:52,783 They don't make fighters like they used to. 479 00:36:52,956 --> 00:36:55,364 No more. Nobody's hungry any more. 480 00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,665 See? 481 00:36:58,629 --> 00:37:02,544 Dad, don't go out on another date. You already had one. 482 00:37:02,717 --> 00:37:06,881 It didn't work out. How can I find us a new mom if I don't keep looking? 483 00:37:07,055 --> 00:37:11,468 We don't need a new mom. Things were great when it was just you and me. 484 00:37:11,644 --> 00:37:14,265 I mean, we already got stuck with him. 485 00:37:14,438 --> 00:37:18,685 Junior, I am going out on a date tonight, OK? 486 00:37:18,860 --> 00:37:22,525 I'm gonna get cleaned up. Let me know if you hear the doorbell. 487 00:37:22,697 --> 00:37:25,271 Don't worry. You'll hear it. 488 00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:40,665 I never met a girl who makes me feel The way that you do 489 00:37:40,841 --> 00:37:42,633 You're all right 490 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:46,011 Whenever I'm asked Who makes my dreams real 491 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:49,347 I say that you do You're outta sight 492 00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:53,677 So, fee-fi-fo- fum 493 00:37:53,856 --> 00:37:57,771 Look out, baby, 'cause here I come 494 00:37:57,944 --> 00:38:02,108 And I'm bringing you a love that's true So get ready 495 00:38:02,282 --> 00:38:04,191 So get ready 496 00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:09,279 I'm gonna try and make you love me too So get ready 497 00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:12,374 So get ready 'Cause here I come 498 00:38:12,543 --> 00:38:14,666 Get ready 'Cause here I come 499 00:38:14,837 --> 00:38:17,328 I'm on my way 500 00:38:21,010 --> 00:38:23,466 OK, girls. 501 00:38:24,431 --> 00:38:26,637 We've got work to do. 502 00:38:45,662 --> 00:38:47,904 - Argh! - Ben. 503 00:38:48,082 --> 00:38:53,159 I'm sorry, I'm suddenly not feeling very well. 504 00:38:53,337 --> 00:39:00,254 I think I just caught that flu that's been going around. 505 00:39:00,428 --> 00:39:02,088 OK? 506 00:39:16,112 --> 00:39:20,821 So the little monster screwed you over again, huh? 507 00:39:20,992 --> 00:39:23,115 Maybe I was too strong with him. 508 00:39:23,286 --> 00:39:26,620 Ever since I started dating these women, he's become so insecure. 509 00:39:26,790 --> 00:39:30,373 Insecure? Little Ben, he's paranoid, he's jealous. 510 00:39:30,544 --> 00:39:32,453 And he is dangerous. 511 00:39:32,629 --> 00:39:34,503 What are you saying? 512 00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:37,924 I'm saying leave him by the side of the road and run. 513 00:39:38,094 --> 00:39:41,214 That's a cop-out. The boy wants to know he's loved. 514 00:39:41,390 --> 00:39:45,470 I'm sure if I devote more time to him, he'll be better. 515 00:39:45,644 --> 00:39:50,306 Finally, Dad gets the point. Goodbye, ladiesl 516 00:39:57,156 --> 00:39:59,280 Hey, dog-face. 517 00:39:59,451 --> 00:40:01,906 I knew you'd look! 518 00:40:04,247 --> 00:40:06,287 No running in the hall! 519 00:40:09,837 --> 00:40:11,379 Oh, darn! 520 00:40:11,547 --> 00:40:13,255 Na- na- na- na- na. 521 00:40:13,424 --> 00:40:15,997 You can't come in here! 522 00:40:18,262 --> 00:40:21,429 The bitch must diel 523 00:40:29,776 --> 00:40:33,026 Oh, shoot. She tricked me again. 524 00:40:33,196 --> 00:40:36,814 I wish I had half the brains she does. 525 00:40:36,992 --> 00:40:40,158 Well, there's always tomorrow. 526 00:40:43,582 --> 00:40:45,990 That guy's pathetic. 527 00:40:51,757 --> 00:40:54,545 You're gonna wish you'd never been born. 528 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:59,630 Ooh, I'm really scared! I'm being threatened by the Ty-D-Bowl Girl. 529 00:40:59,808 --> 00:41:02,844 Now, why have you been bugging me? 530 00:41:03,019 --> 00:41:06,804 I'll bug whoever I want. This is my school. 531 00:41:06,982 --> 00:41:10,066 - Says who? - Me and my M- 80. 532 00:41:16,534 --> 00:41:18,242 You're insane. 533 00:41:20,289 --> 00:41:22,198 Let's get out of here! 534 00:41:26,712 --> 00:41:29,666 Just outta school Like I'm real real cool 535 00:41:29,841 --> 00:41:33,008 Gotta dance like a fool Got the message that I gotta be 536 00:41:33,178 --> 00:41:34,292 A wild one... 537 00:41:34,471 --> 00:41:38,136 Out of my way! I can't hold this one until recess. 538 00:41:42,688 --> 00:41:44,930 This is gonna feel so good. 539 00:41:53,783 --> 00:41:57,282 Clearance sale! Big clearance sale! 540 00:41:57,453 --> 00:42:00,241 Well, well, well, what have we got here? 541 00:42:00,415 --> 00:42:03,665 You girls selling your daddy's old clothes? 542 00:42:03,835 --> 00:42:05,460 Look at this! 543 00:42:05,629 --> 00:42:08,334 A silk shirt for a dime. 544 00:42:08,507 --> 00:42:10,832 And a suit for a quarter? 545 00:42:11,010 --> 00:42:13,881 I had one like this. I paid two grand for it. 546 00:42:15,682 --> 00:42:18,138 Wait a minute. Wait a... 547 00:42:18,310 --> 00:42:19,852 Nippy. 548 00:42:20,020 --> 00:42:22,725 What the hell are you doing here? 549 00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:25,850 They're selling you for a nickel? 550 00:42:26,902 --> 00:42:29,310 You little crooks. Where'd you get this stuff? 551 00:42:29,489 --> 00:42:31,695 We have wholesalers. 552 00:42:31,866 --> 00:42:34,536 The hell you do. This is all mine. 553 00:42:34,702 --> 00:42:38,950 No, it's not. Junior sold us the whole package for ten dollars. 554 00:42:39,124 --> 00:42:42,042 He did, did he? Well, we'll see about that. 555 00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:46,298 Finally I get some room in here. 556 00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:50,130 You little psycho. This time you've gone too far. 557 00:42:50,302 --> 00:42:53,719 - Shut your trap! - You're an evil boy. 558 00:42:53,890 --> 00:42:56,013 You've gotta learn to respect your elders. 559 00:42:56,184 --> 00:42:59,968 If your old man won't teach you some manners, by God, I will. 560 00:43:00,146 --> 00:43:04,477 Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. 561 00:43:11,159 --> 00:43:12,357 My ass! 562 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:20,456 Hey, buddy, you ready to go? 563 00:43:20,627 --> 00:43:22,170 Sure, but where? 564 00:43:22,338 --> 00:43:25,255 It's a surprise. I got a fun day planned. 565 00:43:25,424 --> 00:43:27,002 All right, let's go! 566 00:43:29,929 --> 00:43:32,503 Junior, have you seen your grandfather lately? 567 00:43:32,682 --> 00:43:35,553 Last time I saw him, he was going out. 568 00:43:37,437 --> 00:43:38,812 Ben! 569 00:43:38,980 --> 00:43:40,772 Little Ben! 570 00:43:40,941 --> 00:43:44,476 Help, Little Ben! Help me! 571 00:43:44,653 --> 00:43:46,527 Whoa... 572 00:44:08,721 --> 00:44:10,548 Benjamin Healy. 573 00:44:10,724 --> 00:44:12,763 Time to meet your future. 574 00:44:14,478 --> 00:44:15,936 Help me! 575 00:44:16,104 --> 00:44:18,774 - Help me! - What is that man doing? 576 00:44:18,941 --> 00:44:21,977 I'm Big Ben Healy. I live here. 577 00:44:22,152 --> 00:44:25,237 You live in that tree? 578 00:44:25,406 --> 00:44:28,740 - Maybe he's Ben Healy's father. - Shut up. I knew that. 579 00:44:28,910 --> 00:44:32,445 Now move it. Get him down from there. 580 00:44:36,001 --> 00:44:39,121 Hooray! 581 00:44:39,755 --> 00:44:42,839 - All right! - Hey, Junior, this is for you. 582 00:44:43,008 --> 00:44:44,799 - Thanks, Dad! - You're welcome. 583 00:44:44,968 --> 00:44:50,308 This is great. First it's a water park, then a ball game, and now it's a carnival. 584 00:44:50,475 --> 00:44:54,010 I just realised you and I haven't been spending enough time together. 585 00:44:54,188 --> 00:44:57,189 Dad, I'm glad it's just you and me. 586 00:44:57,358 --> 00:45:00,478 Wow! Look at that cool ride! 587 00:45:03,447 --> 00:45:06,651 - Can I go on it? - Sure, that's why we're here. 588 00:45:07,744 --> 00:45:10,235 This ride is overl 589 00:45:14,334 --> 00:45:17,620 Whoa, slow down, dude. You can't go on this ride. 590 00:45:17,796 --> 00:45:21,046 - Why not? - You gotta be as tall as the tentacle. 591 00:45:25,930 --> 00:45:28,006 But it's only a millimetre. 592 00:45:28,182 --> 00:45:31,053 Get outta here, you're holding up my line. 593 00:45:32,103 --> 00:45:33,514 Thanks a lot. 594 00:45:35,356 --> 00:45:40,067 I'm sorry, Junior. Maybe next year. Look. You wanna go on the Munchkin Ride? 595 00:45:41,114 --> 00:45:43,652 No Munchkin Ride. OK. 596 00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:46,696 A candy apple? Would you like a candy apple? 597 00:45:46,870 --> 00:45:48,779 I'll be right back. 598 00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:55,875 The little baby couldn't get on the ride? 599 00:45:56,046 --> 00:46:01,800 What's the matter? They afraid you'd go pee-pee in your diapers? 600 00:46:08,184 --> 00:46:10,972 Hey, you little creep! 601 00:46:12,063 --> 00:46:14,139 Hey, shrimp. 602 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:18,017 It must be tough being a little shrimpo. 603 00:46:18,195 --> 00:46:19,689 Ticket. 604 00:46:31,210 --> 00:46:34,045 So, are you ready for fun? 605 00:46:34,213 --> 00:46:36,289 Yeah! 606 00:46:37,216 --> 00:46:39,292 You better hang on tight, 607 00:46:39,469 --> 00:46:45,009 because you're about to experience the Crazy Dancel 608 00:47:12,045 --> 00:47:13,872 This is pansy speed! 609 00:47:14,047 --> 00:47:17,048 Come on, pump it up, pump it up! 610 00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:22,427 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah... Yeah! 611 00:48:04,769 --> 00:48:06,845 I'm gonna puke! 612 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:11,813 I'm gonna barf! 613 00:48:38,848 --> 00:48:40,259 Please, no. 613 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,000 TopTeo.com 614 00:49:29,903 --> 00:49:32,062 Why do you do these things to me? 615 00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:36,451 I thought we moved here to start over. People told me you were a problem child. 616 00:49:36,619 --> 00:49:41,577 I said they were wrong, I said you just needed a chance to succeed. 617 00:49:41,749 --> 00:49:44,454 We don't have a normal life, especially me. 618 00:49:44,627 --> 00:49:47,794 I can't go out on a date without something terrible happening. 619 00:49:47,964 --> 00:49:49,542 Maybe you shouldn't go out. 620 00:49:49,716 --> 00:49:54,010 Junior, just because I interact with another human being 621 00:49:54,179 --> 00:49:56,636 doesn't mean that I love you any less. 622 00:49:56,808 --> 00:49:58,635 Can't you see that? 623 00:49:58,810 --> 00:50:02,559 - Well, I suppose. - All right, that's a start. 624 00:50:02,731 --> 00:50:04,391 We can build on that. 625 00:50:04,566 --> 00:50:06,358 I'll make you a deal. 626 00:50:06,527 --> 00:50:09,362 I promise you that I'll always be there for you. 627 00:50:09,530 --> 00:50:12,614 But you've gotta promise to be good from now on. 628 00:50:12,783 --> 00:50:16,532 - OK, I promise. - That's a little too fast. Think about it. 629 00:50:16,704 --> 00:50:21,331 It's not just an empty promise. This is a pact between you and me 630 00:50:21,501 --> 00:50:25,084 to regain some of the trust we used to have, OK? 631 00:50:25,255 --> 00:50:27,960 So what do you say? Are you gonna improve 632 00:50:28,133 --> 00:50:31,300 so I can be right when I brag to my friends 633 00:50:31,470 --> 00:50:34,804 and tell them I got the greatest kid that ever was? 634 00:50:35,891 --> 00:50:37,386 Sure. 635 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,766 I'll be better. 636 00:50:42,273 --> 00:50:43,815 Thataboy. 637 00:50:56,665 --> 00:50:58,990 What happened to our house? 638 00:51:00,252 --> 00:51:01,829 Surprise! 639 00:51:02,004 --> 00:51:04,080 - Dad, what have you done? - Nothing. 640 00:51:04,256 --> 00:51:08,124 The credit for this miracle goes to one special lady. 641 00:51:08,886 --> 00:51:12,220 Ta-raa... 642 00:51:12,390 --> 00:51:14,881 - I don't understand. - Is she a maid? 643 00:51:15,059 --> 00:51:17,977 Yeah, made to order. 644 00:51:19,481 --> 00:51:25,235 Benjamin, it's such a pleasure to have new blood moving into our town. 645 00:51:25,404 --> 00:51:28,025 On behalf of everyone at Dumore Bank, 646 00:51:28,198 --> 00:51:31,199 Dumore Pharmaceuticals and Dumore Strip Mining, 647 00:51:31,368 --> 00:51:35,152 I just want to extend to you this little ol' welcome. 648 00:51:35,331 --> 00:51:37,489 I'm LaWanda Dumore. 649 00:51:37,667 --> 00:51:40,953 You did all this because I opened up a checking account? 650 00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:43,965 You're a very special customer. 651 00:51:44,133 --> 00:51:46,671 Oops! 652 00:51:47,803 --> 00:51:51,718 - Oh, Junior...! - That's all right, it's only dirt. 653 00:51:51,891 --> 00:51:54,014 I'll have that up in a jiffy. 654 00:52:01,318 --> 00:52:04,402 I'm sorry. Junior can be a little clumsy at times. 655 00:52:04,571 --> 00:52:06,481 That's all right. 656 00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:12,162 Without compassion and understanding, what kind of world would we be living in? 657 00:52:12,330 --> 00:52:13,907 Right, sweetie? 658 00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:16,205 Just try to pull one stunt 659 00:52:16,376 --> 00:52:20,587 and I'll cut you off at the knees and bury you alive. 660 00:52:22,465 --> 00:52:26,415 - She's an incredible woman. - You haven't heard the best part. 661 00:52:26,595 --> 00:52:29,051 She's worth $50 million. 662 00:52:32,644 --> 00:52:37,437 I am so sorry, I just completely lost track of the time. 663 00:52:37,608 --> 00:52:39,232 I gotta run. 664 00:52:39,401 --> 00:52:43,446 I got a meeting with some cockamamie shareholder grievance committee. 665 00:52:43,614 --> 00:52:46,615 But we should get together for dinner real soon. 666 00:52:46,784 --> 00:52:49,275 I could cook us up something special. 667 00:52:49,453 --> 00:52:51,612 Well, sure. That would be nice, Miss Dumore. 668 00:52:51,789 --> 00:52:55,040 Oh, no. LaWanda. 669 00:52:55,210 --> 00:52:56,704 LaWanda. 670 00:53:04,470 --> 00:53:05,928 Bye-bye! 671 00:53:11,978 --> 00:53:16,687 Five oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh! 672 00:53:17,817 --> 00:53:19,228 50 million! 673 00:53:31,916 --> 00:53:35,665 LaWanda, it smells great in there. Sure you don't need any help? 674 00:53:35,837 --> 00:53:37,415 No, Benjamin. 675 00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:42,086 You just stay down here and relax. I'm taking care of everything. 676 00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:43,636 OK. 677 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,559 I know I promised Dad I wouldn't hurt LaWanda, 678 00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:55,601 but I never said the dog couldn't. 679 00:54:01,531 --> 00:54:03,987 You're falling into a trance. 680 00:54:04,159 --> 00:54:08,620 Your eyes are getting heavy. You can't move a muscle. 681 00:54:08,789 --> 00:54:12,834 When you wake up, you'll be thinking of one thing. 682 00:54:13,002 --> 00:54:15,328 Destroy LaWanda. 683 00:54:15,506 --> 00:54:17,333 She is your enemy. 684 00:54:17,508 --> 00:54:20,509 She is like a cat, but uglier. 685 00:54:20,678 --> 00:54:23,134 You want to bite her butt off 686 00:54:23,306 --> 00:54:26,509 and scare her away, so she'll never come back. 687 00:54:26,684 --> 00:54:28,558 When I clap my hands, 688 00:54:28,728 --> 00:54:33,058 you'll come out of the trance and do whatever I say. 689 00:54:33,942 --> 00:54:35,567 One, 690 00:54:35,736 --> 00:54:36,898 two, 691 00:54:37,070 --> 00:54:38,565 three. 692 00:54:41,075 --> 00:54:43,482 One, two, 693 00:54:43,661 --> 00:54:45,238 three. 694 00:54:46,956 --> 00:54:48,534 Nippy? 695 00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:51,790 Nippy? Hey, Nip, come on. 696 00:54:52,462 --> 00:54:55,167 - Uh-oh! Nippy. - Nippy! 697 00:54:56,049 --> 00:54:57,757 Nippy, where are you? 698 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:14,146 - What have you been up to? - None of your business. 699 00:55:14,319 --> 00:55:18,400 - You're not my mother. - You are a mean little boy. 700 00:55:18,574 --> 00:55:23,817 Go up to your room and change your clothes. I will not have an unkempt boy at my table. 701 00:55:23,996 --> 00:55:25,574 Your table? 702 00:55:26,374 --> 00:55:27,868 Get! 703 00:55:37,636 --> 00:55:39,842 Clowns! 704 00:55:40,013 --> 00:55:42,587 I hate clowns! 705 00:55:44,059 --> 00:55:47,310 This woman is bustin' my balls! 706 00:55:49,065 --> 00:55:51,936 Hey, guys, what are you doing for dinner tonight? 707 00:55:57,325 --> 00:56:01,025 I would like to make a toast to a terrific lady 708 00:56:01,204 --> 00:56:04,288 who has made us feel so welcome in our new town, 709 00:56:04,457 --> 00:56:08,751 who's fixed up our house, and cooked us this incredible feast. 710 00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,580 - Hear, hear. - To LaWanda. 711 00:56:10,756 --> 00:56:12,713 - To LaWanda. - To LaWanda. 712 00:56:14,718 --> 00:56:16,711 That is so sweet. 713 00:56:16,887 --> 00:56:19,212 I hope y'all enjoy this. 714 00:56:19,390 --> 00:56:22,344 I had my staff compile their favourite recipes. 715 00:56:22,518 --> 00:56:26,053 Well, I for one am famished, so let's eat. 716 00:56:51,842 --> 00:56:56,303 What in the hell is in this salad? 717 00:56:56,472 --> 00:56:58,512 It's blue cheese. 718 00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:03,477 Oh, my God. 719 00:57:04,272 --> 00:57:07,890 All right, come on! Get LaWanda! 720 00:57:11,488 --> 00:57:14,359 This salad is infested! 721 00:57:19,371 --> 00:57:21,115 Get it! Get it! 722 00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,374 This is a plague! 723 00:57:31,926 --> 00:57:34,334 LaWanda, I'm coming. 724 00:57:52,866 --> 00:57:54,325 Junior, you failed me. 725 00:57:54,493 --> 00:57:57,281 But, Dad, I swear, she hates me. 726 00:57:57,455 --> 00:58:01,951 - We had a deal and you let me down. - She's different from all the others. 727 00:58:02,126 --> 00:58:04,119 LaWanda is bad. 728 00:58:04,295 --> 00:58:09,171 Junior, you think all women are bad. That woman has nothing but good intentions. 729 00:58:09,342 --> 00:58:12,546 She made us dinner and this is how you pay her back? 730 00:58:12,721 --> 00:58:14,880 I am really disappointed in you. 731 00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:18,924 I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again. 732 00:58:26,986 --> 00:58:29,738 Benjamin, I hope you weren't too harsh on him. 733 00:58:29,906 --> 00:58:34,201 - I think I've failed as a father. - Oh, no, not at all. 734 00:58:34,370 --> 00:58:37,157 There's only so much you can handle. 735 00:58:37,332 --> 00:58:42,575 A father's good for some things, but you need a mother for emotional guidance. 736 00:58:42,754 --> 00:58:46,455 Values... Morality? 737 00:58:46,633 --> 00:58:49,753 Perhaps I should talk to the boy? 738 00:58:49,928 --> 00:58:53,214 - Well, yeah. That might be... - Good. 739 00:58:56,602 --> 00:58:59,769 Listen here, you little monster. 740 00:58:59,939 --> 00:59:01,848 I am mightier than you are. 741 00:59:02,025 --> 00:59:05,773 And I always get what I want, so back off. 742 00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:10,940 Because whether you like it or not, I am gonna marry your daddy. 743 00:59:11,118 --> 00:59:14,902 And when I do, you'll be on the first plane to boarding school, 744 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:16,989 in Baghdad. 745 00:59:18,042 --> 00:59:20,711 Dad, you gotta believe me. She said Baghdad. 746 00:59:20,878 --> 00:59:23,880 Forget it, you have no credibility any more. 747 00:59:24,049 --> 00:59:27,584 Let's see if we can get through this evening like a normal family, 748 00:59:27,761 --> 00:59:30,087 without anything bizarre happening. OK? 749 00:59:30,264 --> 00:59:31,639 Come on. 750 00:59:31,807 --> 00:59:36,683 Come here, look at the chart. I got 15 gold stars this semester. 751 00:59:37,897 --> 00:59:42,061 - Do you have anything nice to show me? - Sure, just the usual stuff. 752 00:59:42,235 --> 00:59:43,813 There's my desk. 753 00:59:51,412 --> 00:59:53,700 Here's my science project. 754 00:59:53,873 --> 00:59:55,699 I'm innocentl I'm innocentl 755 00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:01,585 There's my teacher, Mr Thorn. 756 01:00:01,756 --> 01:00:03,464 Mom, this is Mr Thorn. 757 01:00:03,633 --> 01:00:05,922 She's doing very well. Awfully good. 758 01:00:06,094 --> 01:00:11,005 Attention, parents. Please take your seats for tonight's special programme, 759 01:00:11,183 --> 01:00:12,642 Salute to Democracy. 760 01:00:12,809 --> 01:00:16,227 Because you know it's, like, democracy and we're saluting it. 761 01:00:31,038 --> 01:00:33,529 - Hello, Sam. - Hello, Baldy. 762 01:00:33,708 --> 01:00:36,625 Sure is great to see all those parents out there tonight. 763 01:00:36,794 --> 01:00:39,464 - It sure is. - It's so sweet! 764 01:00:39,631 --> 01:00:41,588 You can't do that to me! 765 01:00:41,758 --> 01:00:43,252 What are you...? 766 01:00:49,183 --> 01:00:52,967 Sorry about the delay, folks. We're experiencing technical difficulties. 767 01:00:53,145 --> 01:00:57,013 Yeah, I had to scratch my balls. 768 01:00:57,984 --> 01:01:02,527 - Hey, I didn't know eagles had balls. - Yeah, I'm a bald eagle. 769 01:01:02,697 --> 01:01:05,864 Did you know I could fart The Star - Spangled Banner? 770 01:01:06,035 --> 01:01:09,404 - Really? OK... - Junior, no! 771 01:01:16,671 --> 01:01:19,756 - Who are you? - Who the hell are you? 772 01:01:20,926 --> 01:01:22,254 Trixie! 773 01:01:22,427 --> 01:01:26,093 I can't leave you alone for 10 minutes. Why did you do this? 774 01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:28,304 But, Mom... 775 01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:32,604 Those kids wouldn't let me be part of the puppet show. 776 01:01:32,772 --> 01:01:37,517 That's no excuse for... Come on, we are going right now! 777 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:45,697 Great show, huh, Dad? I was saving you a seat. 778 01:01:47,913 --> 01:01:49,537 Annie... 779 01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:51,165 Annie! 780 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:53,041 Nurse! 781 01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:57,546 Hang on! Wait! 782 01:01:57,716 --> 01:01:59,922 Look, Annie, will you wait?! 783 01:02:00,093 --> 01:02:05,005 - I understand what you're going through. - You couldn't possibly. 784 01:02:05,182 --> 01:02:08,765 - I do, believe me. We could help each other. - Just forget it. 785 01:02:08,936 --> 01:02:11,724 Trixie consumes my entire life. 786 01:02:11,898 --> 01:02:14,436 I don't have room for anything else. 787 01:02:26,246 --> 01:02:29,082 Boy, that girl sure showed them. 788 01:02:29,250 --> 01:02:35,123 Who would have thought that sweet nurse would have such a crazy daughter? 789 01:02:35,298 --> 01:02:38,501 What a mess. I have to get Junior a mother. 790 01:02:38,676 --> 01:02:42,757 Annie would be perfect, she's smart and sweet and pretty and loving. 791 01:02:42,931 --> 01:02:47,011 It would be great to have a nurse on call 24 hours a day. 792 01:02:47,769 --> 01:02:51,305 On the other hand, LaWanda will go out with me. 793 01:02:54,027 --> 01:02:58,321 Oh, God, please let him marry that rich broad. 794 01:02:58,490 --> 01:03:01,575 'Cause I really need the money. 795 01:03:02,494 --> 01:03:04,617 I gotta get out of this house. 796 01:03:04,788 --> 01:03:08,656 My son's a loser, my dog has vanished. 797 01:03:08,834 --> 01:03:12,583 And that punk Junior's the devil come to life. 798 01:03:16,593 --> 01:03:19,796 Nippy! You've come back! 799 01:03:19,971 --> 01:03:23,804 And I thought you abandoned me. 800 01:03:23,976 --> 01:03:26,301 I should have known better. 801 01:03:28,314 --> 01:03:32,098 You'll always stand by my side, won't you? 802 01:03:34,862 --> 01:03:37,353 You're my one true friend. 803 01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:41,703 Nippy...? 804 01:03:42,496 --> 01:03:45,782 Nippy, what the hell happened to you? 805 01:03:55,385 --> 01:03:57,876 I'm losing my mind. 806 01:03:58,055 --> 01:04:02,633 Junior's getting worse. We can't even figure out what he did to that dog. 807 01:04:02,810 --> 01:04:05,764 Benjamin, I'm gonna be blunt. 808 01:04:05,938 --> 01:04:09,521 - Your child is in a state of emergency. - I'm doing my best. 809 01:04:09,692 --> 01:04:12,527 Benjamin, it is not your fault. 810 01:04:12,695 --> 01:04:15,233 You're a fine man. 811 01:04:15,406 --> 01:04:20,698 But one lone individual just cannot do this job. 812 01:04:20,871 --> 01:04:25,082 Your child needs two parental figures. 813 01:04:27,378 --> 01:04:29,501 - LaWanda... - Yes? 814 01:04:34,803 --> 01:04:36,962 I'd like to ask you a question. 815 01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:42,424 - Junior... - Hey, Dad, what's up? 816 01:04:42,603 --> 01:04:44,560 I've got some family news for you. 817 01:04:44,730 --> 01:04:47,435 - Is Big Ben moving out? - No, I'm not talking... 818 01:04:47,608 --> 01:04:50,396 Listen to me, this is important. I... 819 01:04:51,738 --> 01:04:55,570 I've made a decision. I'm going to marry LaWanda. 820 01:04:55,742 --> 01:05:00,239 - But, Dad, she hates me! - She doesn't hate... That's ridiculous. 821 01:05:00,414 --> 01:05:04,364 She wants what's best for you. She wants to make us a home. 822 01:05:04,543 --> 01:05:07,165 But she's gonna destroy everything. 823 01:05:07,338 --> 01:05:11,550 Three men living together in a house is a mess. It's unnatural. 824 01:05:11,718 --> 01:05:14,921 Plus, I feel she's a woman of strong moral fibre. 825 01:05:15,096 --> 01:05:17,718 She'll be a good influence over us, especially you. 826 01:05:17,891 --> 01:05:19,765 You're making a big mistake. 827 01:05:19,935 --> 01:05:22,971 I am a grown-up and I will do anything I wanna do. 828 01:05:23,146 --> 01:05:26,481 And on Saturday I'm going to marry LaWanda. 829 01:05:27,819 --> 01:05:31,105 Benjamin, we got a jillion things to do. 830 01:05:31,281 --> 01:05:36,109 Caterers, invitations and a one o'clock appointment for a blood test. 831 01:05:36,286 --> 01:05:37,662 I'll be right there. 832 01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:42,575 Tell your grandpa I'll be back in a couple of hours and then we'll talk. 833 01:06:04,316 --> 01:06:08,610 We're from the animal control unit. There's a local rabies scare. 834 01:06:08,779 --> 01:06:13,572 - We're looking for any strange animals. - Nippy's been acting a little funny lately. 835 01:06:13,743 --> 01:06:17,078 - You better let us see him. - OK. 836 01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:22,867 - Not now. - Come on. 837 01:06:27,384 --> 01:06:29,709 - Here you go. - What the hell happened here? 838 01:06:29,886 --> 01:06:31,511 It sure ain't rabies. 839 01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:35,049 Nippy's lost his spunk. Can you do anything for him? 840 01:06:35,225 --> 01:06:36,850 Maybe. 841 01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:44,561 - What kind of diet's he been on? - We just feed him table scraps. 842 01:06:46,446 --> 01:06:50,064 Think we've found the problem. Why don't you come with us? 843 01:06:50,408 --> 01:06:53,824 A time like this, there's only one thing you can count on. 844 01:06:56,873 --> 01:06:58,831 - Chow Down. - Chow Down? 845 01:06:59,001 --> 01:07:00,744 That's right, sonny. Chow Down. 846 01:07:00,919 --> 01:07:04,205 Now in three delicious flavours. Beef, chicken and horse. 847 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,924 Rich, meaty flavour, 848 01:07:08,095 --> 01:07:13,302 all simmered in a delicious home- style gravy. Mmm... 849 01:07:13,475 --> 01:07:16,227 What dog could resist? 850 01:07:16,395 --> 01:07:18,352 Come and get it! 851 01:07:19,398 --> 01:07:22,269 Wow! Look at him chow down. 852 01:07:22,443 --> 01:07:25,444 You bet, and wait till you see how shiny his coat gets. 853 01:07:30,952 --> 01:07:32,612 Glad we could be of assistance. 854 01:07:32,788 --> 01:07:35,540 Come on, pal. Let's get back to work. 855 01:07:39,003 --> 01:07:41,209 What's in that little black box? 856 01:07:41,380 --> 01:07:43,337 You don't wanna mess with that. 857 01:07:43,507 --> 01:07:46,212 That's blood tests from a rabid dog. 858 01:07:47,971 --> 01:07:50,544 Blood tests, huh? 859 01:07:51,975 --> 01:07:54,181 Healy, Benjamin. 860 01:07:54,352 --> 01:07:57,223 Looks fine to me. 861 01:07:57,397 --> 01:08:01,147 And who's next? Dumore, LaWanda. 862 01:08:01,319 --> 01:08:03,228 Again. 863 01:08:03,405 --> 01:08:05,314 OK... 864 01:08:08,201 --> 01:08:09,696 Wow! 865 01:08:13,707 --> 01:08:18,251 Operator, give me the County Health Department. This is an emergency. 866 01:08:22,342 --> 01:08:25,592 - It's darling, LaWanda! - My goodness! 867 01:08:25,762 --> 01:08:29,345 Y'all are the best friends a girl could ever have. 868 01:08:29,516 --> 01:08:33,348 LaWanda, you're always the most beautiful bride. 869 01:08:36,607 --> 01:08:39,145 Excuse me, ma'am. Is Ms Dumore here? 870 01:08:39,318 --> 01:08:43,482 Oh, my Lord! Somebody hired strippers. 871 01:08:46,868 --> 01:08:48,860 You want me? 872 01:08:51,207 --> 01:08:54,161 - Come and get me. - She's already foaming at the mouth. 873 01:08:54,335 --> 01:08:56,743 Better move fast. 874 01:08:57,797 --> 01:09:01,380 - Here we go. - You brutes are playing rough! 875 01:09:01,551 --> 01:09:04,386 - What are you doing? - We're from the County Board of Health. 876 01:09:04,554 --> 01:09:06,796 - You have rabies. - What?! 877 01:09:06,973 --> 01:09:10,058 You cannot do this to me! 878 01:09:10,227 --> 01:09:13,477 I am rich. I am powerful. 879 01:09:13,647 --> 01:09:16,601 I do not have rabies! 880 01:09:17,902 --> 01:09:21,603 LaWanda, how are you feeling? 881 01:09:21,781 --> 01:09:23,406 How am I feeling? 882 01:09:23,575 --> 01:09:26,030 How am I feeling? I'm tied to a bed! 883 01:09:26,202 --> 01:09:29,120 Maybe this picture will cheer you up. 884 01:09:32,292 --> 01:09:37,287 Maybe this is a little too much excitement for LaWanda. Why don't we clear the room... 885 01:09:37,464 --> 01:09:39,837 OK. Bye, LaWanda. Come on, Dad. Let's go. 886 01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:43,593 No, sonny. Your dad means we should go. 887 01:09:43,764 --> 01:09:45,139 All of us. 888 01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,350 Give the lovebirds a chance to be alone. 889 01:09:50,521 --> 01:09:52,146 This might cheer you up. 890 01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:54,521 I'll put this over here. 891 01:09:54,692 --> 01:09:58,904 I talked to Father Flanagan, and he said there's no need to rush into these things. 892 01:09:59,072 --> 01:10:01,479 We can push back the ceremony. 893 01:10:01,658 --> 01:10:06,035 Benjamin, I do not like being patronised. 894 01:10:06,204 --> 01:10:10,285 I don't care if we have to roll this gurney down the aisle. 895 01:10:10,459 --> 01:10:13,579 Tomorrow, we are getting married. 896 01:10:14,922 --> 01:10:19,169 Big Ben's Sporting Goods is embarking on a major expansion. 897 01:10:19,343 --> 01:10:23,211 We're about to come into a huge cash infusion. 898 01:10:28,395 --> 01:10:30,553 I swear, you're important to me. 899 01:10:30,730 --> 01:10:35,310 I've made my decision. When I die, I want people to remember me. 900 01:10:35,487 --> 01:10:39,650 And after tonight's plastic surgery, I'm gonna be someone, 901 01:10:39,825 --> 01:10:43,657 because I'm gonna have the biggest nose in the world. 901 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:07,000 TopTeo.com 902 01:11:13,319 --> 01:11:16,320 This place is awfully loud. You sure you wanna eat here? 903 01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:18,612 Of course. Pizza's my favourite food. 904 01:11:18,783 --> 01:11:21,404 It is? Oh. Fine. 905 01:11:21,577 --> 01:11:24,995 Hello. We'd like a table for... 906 01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:28,205 - Annie? - Ben? 907 01:11:31,964 --> 01:11:36,461 Maybe I'm gettin' soft, but I just had the craziest idea. 908 01:11:40,849 --> 01:11:45,143 So then Dad dropped his pants on live TV and he lost the election. 909 01:11:45,312 --> 01:11:47,471 Here's a campaign picture. 910 01:11:47,648 --> 01:11:52,109 What are you jerks doing here? I was supposed to have dinner with my mom. 911 01:11:52,278 --> 01:11:55,030 Quit yapping and let 'em have a good time. 912 01:11:55,198 --> 01:11:57,523 Everybody smile for your complimentary photograph. 913 01:11:57,700 --> 01:12:00,370 Say "Pizzarrific!" 914 01:12:02,872 --> 01:12:05,446 Smile for your complimentary photograph. 915 01:12:08,378 --> 01:12:12,839 Oh, boy, baby! When you're with me, it's first class all the way. 916 01:12:13,008 --> 01:12:17,138 We went to the restaurant, they let us in, we didn't have to wait. 917 01:12:17,305 --> 01:12:20,757 It's not like the restaurants where you talk into the clown face. 918 01:12:20,934 --> 01:12:27,055 It's not like that at all. Later on, we'll go home and I'll put on the Zorro outfit. 919 01:12:27,233 --> 01:12:31,776 Well, here's to an evening we'll never forget. 920 01:12:34,824 --> 01:12:36,283 - It's them! - Who? 921 01:12:36,451 --> 01:12:38,776 It's him and it's her and they're together. 922 01:12:38,954 --> 01:12:42,572 He has this flatulence problem and he's eating a pizza, and it's her... 923 01:12:42,749 --> 01:12:44,457 Hey, it's Peabody. 924 01:12:44,626 --> 01:12:48,245 I hate that guy. He's got such a grating voice. 925 01:12:48,422 --> 01:12:51,874 Yeah. I'll shut him up. 926 01:12:55,555 --> 01:12:58,010 Here, let me. Terrible kids, just terrible. 927 01:12:59,267 --> 01:13:02,054 That's pretty good. Let me try. 928 01:13:05,065 --> 01:13:08,019 You rotten kids, you should be locked in cages! 929 01:13:09,112 --> 01:13:11,021 You can't talk to them like that. 930 01:13:11,197 --> 01:13:12,857 Screw you, pal! 931 01:13:13,033 --> 01:13:16,651 I can talk about anybody however I want. 932 01:13:45,234 --> 01:13:46,609 Yeah! 933 01:13:51,323 --> 01:13:54,028 Two can play at this game! 934 01:13:56,120 --> 01:13:58,991 - Let's get 'em! - All right! 935 01:14:16,727 --> 01:14:19,930 - Keep it moving, come on. - Quit pushing, it wasn't our fault. 936 01:14:20,105 --> 01:14:24,055 - I got hit on the head with an egg. - You can never come back again. 937 01:14:24,235 --> 01:14:26,642 - That's a big loss. - Yeah, we said no olives. 938 01:14:26,821 --> 01:14:29,573 Did everybody get enough to eat? 939 01:14:29,740 --> 01:14:33,785 Annie, you look like you could use some dessert. Right around here. 940 01:14:34,871 --> 01:14:38,038 - Your dad's pretty funny. - He takes after me. 941 01:14:38,208 --> 01:14:41,542 Junior, I'm sorry I hit you with the fire hose. 942 01:14:41,712 --> 01:14:45,330 That's OK. I'm sorry I made you barf on the Crazy Dance. 943 01:14:47,092 --> 01:14:48,635 I couldn't believe it... 944 01:14:48,802 --> 01:14:50,961 ...right in your face! 945 01:14:51,138 --> 01:14:53,809 You know, I think your dad likes my mom. 946 01:14:53,976 --> 01:14:58,270 Normally when a guy does that, I run him over or knock him downstairs. 947 01:14:58,439 --> 01:15:00,313 I gotta look out for her. 948 01:15:00,483 --> 01:15:04,018 But your dad, he doesn't bug me that much. 949 01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:07,113 You know, your mom doesn't bother me that much either. 950 01:15:08,533 --> 01:15:09,908 Pals? 951 01:15:11,202 --> 01:15:12,697 Pals. 952 01:15:25,426 --> 01:15:27,253 My arms. 953 01:15:28,304 --> 01:15:30,261 My arms are free! 954 01:15:32,684 --> 01:15:34,142 Oh, my Lord. 955 01:15:35,103 --> 01:15:37,179 What's wrong with my face? 956 01:15:39,774 --> 01:15:41,601 What is this? 957 01:15:53,040 --> 01:15:56,160 Oh... Oh! 958 01:15:58,671 --> 01:16:01,376 I'm Pinocchio! 959 01:16:14,646 --> 01:16:16,888 Good, you made it. 960 01:16:17,065 --> 01:16:19,735 Why did you want me to come over so late? 961 01:16:19,902 --> 01:16:22,938 - You know how you said you liked my dad? - Yeah. 962 01:16:23,113 --> 01:16:26,814 I have the weirdest idea. I think our parents should get married. 963 01:16:26,992 --> 01:16:32,153 What are you talking about? Your dad's already taken. 964 01:16:32,331 --> 01:16:36,331 Well, he might be having a slight change of plans. 965 01:16:41,050 --> 01:16:43,672 Oh, great. Big Ben's up. 966 01:16:44,846 --> 01:16:48,381 Who are you? And you should be in bed, 967 01:16:48,558 --> 01:16:50,302 resting up for tomorrow's wedding. 968 01:16:50,477 --> 01:16:52,137 There ain't gonna be no wedding. 969 01:16:52,312 --> 01:16:56,357 I made LaWanda so ugly, no one's gonna wanna marry her. 970 01:16:56,525 --> 01:16:59,099 LaWanda Dumore's the key to my financial comeback. 971 01:16:59,278 --> 01:17:03,358 And nobody, nobody, is gonna stand in my way. 972 01:17:05,368 --> 01:17:08,951 - Nippy, where'd you go? - This guy's gonna be a problem. 973 01:17:09,122 --> 01:17:12,158 No, he's not. Let's get him! 974 01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,532 Yeah! 975 01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:30,934 I'm really tired. 976 01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:36,393 Come on, don't wuss out. This is the only way to get our parents together. 977 01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:38,443 Now come on! 978 01:17:48,957 --> 01:17:53,370 Whoa! It's so much bigger than it looked on Mr Thorn's slide. 979 01:17:57,549 --> 01:17:59,838 So, how do you start this thing? 980 01:18:00,010 --> 01:18:03,261 I don't know. Guess you just make a wish. 981 01:18:03,431 --> 01:18:07,511 Mighty Love Rock, we come to you today to ask a big favour. 982 01:18:07,685 --> 01:18:11,849 We got two parents and we want them to fall in love and get married 983 01:18:12,023 --> 01:18:14,395 so I don't get stuck with that bitch LaWanda. 984 01:18:14,568 --> 01:18:17,819 I hope this isn't asking too much, 985 01:18:17,989 --> 01:18:22,201 but you're a magic rock so you're probably used to these things. 986 01:18:22,369 --> 01:18:24,776 Please help us. 987 01:18:52,359 --> 01:18:53,937 Bye, Annie. 988 01:19:00,576 --> 01:19:02,735 All right, Junior. Get up. 989 01:19:02,912 --> 01:19:06,826 It's a big day. Today you get yourself a mom. 990 01:19:09,461 --> 01:19:12,083 Has Junior ever run away before? 991 01:19:12,256 --> 01:19:16,965 No, it's this wedding thing. It's got him upset. I'm sorry he dragged Trixie into this. 992 01:19:17,136 --> 01:19:21,845 Don't let Trixie off the hook. She's usually responsible for her share of the action. 993 01:19:22,016 --> 01:19:24,934 Junior can be the biggest menace who ever lived. 994 01:19:25,103 --> 01:19:29,730 Well, maybe he was a nuisance in that little town you're from. 995 01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:32,771 You're in Mortville and around here Trixie runs the show. 996 01:19:32,945 --> 01:19:37,690 She's an amateur. Nobody has caused the amount of destruction Junior has. 997 01:19:39,452 --> 01:19:42,536 I guess it's a stupid thing to argue about. 998 01:19:46,334 --> 01:19:47,994 There they are. 999 01:20:02,978 --> 01:20:05,516 Will you look at that? 1000 01:20:05,689 --> 01:20:08,263 Hey, guys. Good morning. 1001 01:20:11,278 --> 01:20:14,944 Hey, the Love Rock worked! 1002 01:20:15,116 --> 01:20:18,366 Up and at 'em, Junior, let's go. Attaboy. 1003 01:20:23,917 --> 01:20:27,167 So, do you need a ride home? 1004 01:20:27,337 --> 01:20:31,750 No, I think we're gonna take a little walk and have a little talk. 1005 01:20:31,925 --> 01:20:35,176 Besides, you've probably got millions of things to do today. 1006 01:20:35,346 --> 01:20:38,466 Yeah, I guess I do have plans. 1007 01:20:38,641 --> 01:20:41,559 So, see ya. 1008 01:20:58,830 --> 01:21:01,867 Typical, Little Ben. You always wait till the last damn minute. 1009 01:21:02,042 --> 01:21:04,829 Dad, don't you wanna go see LaWanda? 1010 01:21:05,003 --> 01:21:08,669 There's a tradition. The groom can't see the bride before the ceremony. 1011 01:21:08,841 --> 01:21:11,546 - But... but... - But... but, my ass. 1012 01:21:11,719 --> 01:21:14,044 Beat it, we're busy. 1013 01:21:14,221 --> 01:21:18,089 Oh, nol If Dad doesn't see LaWanda's big schnozz, 1014 01:21:18,267 --> 01:21:20,177 I'm screwed. 1015 01:22:12,326 --> 01:22:13,904 Miss Dumore! 1016 01:22:15,746 --> 01:22:18,783 - Are you all right? - Dad, look at her face. 1017 01:22:21,669 --> 01:22:23,709 Hey, what happened? 1018 01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:26,087 Thought you had me licked, huh? 1019 01:22:26,258 --> 01:22:29,093 It's amazing what $382,000 worth 1020 01:22:29,261 --> 01:22:32,844 of last-minute double overtime plastic surgery can do. 1021 01:22:35,059 --> 01:22:37,183 Benjamin, what's the hold-up? 1022 01:22:38,522 --> 01:22:39,897 Fine. 1023 01:22:40,816 --> 01:22:43,734 Come on, sit down, kid. 1024 01:22:43,902 --> 01:22:45,480 Hit it, padre. 1025 01:22:49,158 --> 01:22:52,942 Dearly beloved, we are gathered today, on this day of joy, 1026 01:22:53,121 --> 01:22:55,363 to unite these two wonderful people. 1027 01:22:55,540 --> 01:22:57,996 No! Dad, don't do it! 1028 01:22:58,168 --> 01:23:00,837 Go for it, Little Ben. Make me proud! 1029 01:23:05,092 --> 01:23:08,093 We are gathered together on this day of joy, 1030 01:23:08,262 --> 01:23:10,587 to unite you two wonderful p... 1031 01:23:15,937 --> 01:23:17,597 Who the hell is that? 1032 01:23:17,772 --> 01:23:19,812 That's my pal Trixie. 1033 01:23:27,700 --> 01:23:29,823 I hate children! 1034 01:23:29,994 --> 01:23:32,320 They ruin everything! 1035 01:23:32,497 --> 01:23:37,539 If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the earth. 1036 01:23:50,766 --> 01:23:51,965 Junior! 1037 01:24:00,777 --> 01:24:02,485 Nippy! No! 1038 01:24:10,371 --> 01:24:12,328 No, Miss Dumore! No! 1039 01:24:15,459 --> 01:24:17,286 I command you to stop. 1040 01:24:20,132 --> 01:24:24,130 Trixie! You come down here right this minute! 1041 01:24:26,055 --> 01:24:29,923 How many times have I told you not to operate heavy machinery? 1042 01:24:30,101 --> 01:24:33,019 - Annie! - Ben, I am so sorry. 1043 01:24:33,188 --> 01:24:36,058 I couldn't stop her. We've ruined your whole wedding. 1044 01:24:36,233 --> 01:24:40,313 This wedding was meant to be ruined. Annie, you're the one I want. 1045 01:24:41,572 --> 01:24:42,947 What? 1046 01:24:45,951 --> 01:24:48,407 - Yeah! - We did it! 1047 01:24:48,955 --> 01:24:53,949 What the hell are you doing? You gotta scrape your lovely bride off the ground. 1048 01:24:54,127 --> 01:24:57,828 Dad, I don't want to marry LaWanda. I've found someone else. 1049 01:24:58,006 --> 01:25:02,467 Who cares? LaWanda Dumore is a gold- mine. She's worth millions. 1050 01:25:02,636 --> 01:25:05,209 Dad, if you like her so much, you marry her. 1051 01:25:07,057 --> 01:25:09,465 Yeah. Why not? 1052 01:25:16,610 --> 01:25:17,985 Thanks, buddy. 1053 01:25:18,153 --> 01:25:21,357 Dad, I wouldn't have done it for anyone else. 1054 01:25:26,078 --> 01:25:27,454 Let me help you. 1055 01:25:27,622 --> 01:25:30,493 One... two... three... 1056 01:25:35,964 --> 01:25:37,589 Let me help you. 1057 01:25:37,758 --> 01:25:39,834 Not you, dummy. 1058 01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:42,511 Come on, there we go. 1059 01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:44,756 Get your mitts off me. 1060 01:25:44,932 --> 01:25:47,174 I hate your whole family. 1061 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:50,720 Honey, come here. I'm not like them. 1062 01:25:50,897 --> 01:25:53,898 I'm different. I love you. 1063 01:25:55,443 --> 01:25:58,017 You said you love me? 1064 01:26:00,782 --> 01:26:02,159 Yeuch! 1065 01:26:17,176 --> 01:26:18,255 Yeah! 1066 01:26:25,101 --> 01:26:27,343 Nippy! 1067 01:26:27,520 --> 01:26:30,557 Oh, my God. 82972

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.