Original subtitles

And that brings us to the most exciting part of Bayou Pierre's Swamp Tour.

The famous Bayou peppers.

The hottest peppers in the world

which happen to be the main ingredient

in my famous line of Bayou Pierre's hot sauces.

Hottest peppers in the world?

Looks like regular old mud peppers to me.

(CHUCKLING) Is that so?

Here, pass this on back to our skeptical friend to nibble on.

Hmm!

(SCREAMING)

See, what I told you?

(SCREAMING)

Well, okay, that might be a little bit of an overreaction.

Monster!

Hey, now, that's not nice. I warned you they were hot.

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING)

(GASPING)

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

DAPHNE: The Bayou.

Since my awakening, I can hear its ancient shallow breathing

beneath the strangling Spanish moss,

but fear not, my black swans,

though I've become slave to the thirst,

you shall be spared the dragon's crimson dance.

(SLURPING)

You seriously gonna do this the whole time,

with the vampire thing?

Oh, come on! Darken up, Fred.

We're in New Orleans,

it's a whole thing down here.

It's true. This city has a significant subculture based on vampiric mythology

since its founding in the early 1700s.

Like, more importantly and less terrifyingly,

this city also has...

Po'boys, gumbo, crawfish etouffee, jambalaya,

muffalottas, beignets, calas, andouille, shrimp Creole...

And best of all...

-Hot sauce! -Hot sauce!

Your selection of Bayou Pierre's

mouth dynamite in order of hotness to pick from.

Not for me, Dwayne,

my body tolerates spicy even less than

someone ending a sentence with a preposition.

Then avoid this here last one.

It's called the Grim Reapepper.

-The Grim Reapepper! -The Grim Reapepper!

(SIZZLING)

(WHIMPERS)

SCOOBY: Uh, let's start here.

Phew! (PANTING)

What's the matter, Scoob? Can't take the heat?

Oh, it's on.

(GULPS) Barely a tingle.

Ah, refreshing.

Like, let's skip to the boss level...

The Grim Reapepper!

Scared, big boy?

Don't fear the Reapepper.

Wimp!

(GULPING)

(STRAINING)

(STRAINING)

-Ahhh! -Ahhh!

-Water! Water! -Water! Water!

-Water! Water! -Water! Water!

Glad to see folks enjoying my food.

The name's Bayou Pierre.

I run this establishment.

Business has been awful bad since the Swamp Monster showed up.

That bog-beast been scaring off my tourists.

It's like it don't want anybody in this swamp.

Yes, that place exudes the Pranic Energy and

dark whispers of the other kin who seek its shelter!

Right.

Well, it's your lucky day, Mr. Bayou,

we'll solve this mystery of the Swamp Monster for you.

Eh, there's no need. Chomps is on the case.

(BUBBLING)

That's an alligator.

A crime-fighting alligator.

Foiled a bunch of criminals including the Gentleman Bandit.

Yup, Chomps is the town hero!

Oh, no, you don't understand,

we're actually very skilled at this.

So is Chomps.

But I have a van, does Chomps have a van?

He's a dang gator, what would he do with a van?

Exactly!

Did you say the Swamp Monster attacks people

for going in the swamp?

(SIGHING)

That burned... Delicious!

Come on, Scoob! Let's get back to Bayou Pierre's for more Grim Reapepper.

Three nerve endings left!

Hey, it's gotten dark.

I forget, are wild untamed swamplands in the heart of Voodoo country safe at night?

(STUTTERING) Ask him!

Zoinks! It's the creature from the Black Bayou!

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

BOTH: Ahhh!

BOTH: Ahhh!

(HISSING)

(SHIVERING)

(PLAYING WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN)

Ah, come on! It's Saints! You know the law here in N'Orleans!

Take it downtown, boys.

Uptown!

Drum solo!

(ROARING)

Shaggy!

Scooby!

(SNIFFING)

I smell fear. Mortal fear.

I can almost hear mortal fear.

BOTH: Ahhh!

What happened?

Like, there's a swampy, marsh monster after us!

Where is this swamp monster now?

BOTH: The swamp, hence the name!

Right!

(MOTOR REVS)

We need to find where you saw the monster

and search for clues.

(HOOTING)

Guys! (TEETH CHATTERING)

Yes, the swamp is home to many dark creatures.

Blood-thirsty mosquitos,

slithering snakes,

poisonous toads,

not to mention my brethren...

-Bats! -(BATS SQUEAKING)

-Ahhh! -Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Did you see that?

I full-on summoned!

How cool is that? I mean, I was all, like,

"Bats!" And...

Sorry.

As much as I hate to sunshine on your parade, Daphne,

I think something spooked those bats.

Like, what kind of something?

-Whoa! -Whoa!

(RUMBLING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

-(GROWLING) -(ALL SCREAMING)

Everybody, split up!

Ahhh!

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

Of course he picks us to chase!

(STRAINING)

Argh!

(STRAINING)

(GROWLING)

Hmm...

-(GROWLING) -Ahhh!

Whoa!

BOTH: Ahhh!

(MONSTER GROWLING)

Scooby, Shaggy, get in the boat!

-Like, easier... -Said...

Than done!

Whoa!

(DISTANT GROWLING)

Whoo-hoo!

(GROWLING)

(ROARING)

The ancients never spoke of such a creature.

It's as if the shadow itself has inhabited the swamp.

Its living purpose, only to kill!

-Ahhh! -(BATS SQUEAKING)

Oh, man, I am freaking out.

And, wow, are you not helping.

Sorry, that was a totally accidental summoning.

Look, Chomps is on the case.

He's just floating there.

ALL: Whoa!

SHAGGY: Like, what was that?

Hit something. Boat stopped.

That adds up.

It's some kind of towing winch.

Hmm, that could be a clue.

That must be what Chomps was trying to tell us.

Great job, Chomps, you found a clue.

Chomps didn't find the clue. Chomps was just floating.

Floating is not finding. Floating. Finding.

Two different things.

Huh, a mortal competes with a lizard.

Hey, I'm not competing with a lizard...

Because the lizard isn't in the competition!

A lizard isn't a detective, and you're not a vampire.

Stop it, both of you!

Alligators are not lizards!

This will take about a half hour to fix.

Who lives in a swamp?

Oh, that's old Hermit Hank's place.

He's a cranky old kook,

doesn't like strangers near his swamp.

Maybe he know something about what's going on.

No offense, but you kids may be out of your league.

Leave the mystery solving to the professional,

Chomps the Gator.

(FROG CROAKING)

Yes, well, I'm sure your faith in

the alligator's detective skills are well-founded

and not, I should add, delusional or psychotic at all.

I think we'll just keep looking for clues anyway.

Just in case.

Like, nice work, Fred.

You managed to find the creepiest place

within the creepiest place.

Creepy ground zero.

That's far enough.

You kids are trespassing.

Who, us? No. We didn't pass any tresses.

Why, I would have noticed a tress.

Did you pass a tress, Scoob?

No! No tresses passed!

Hank, right?

It's Hermit Hank. That's my given name.

Ma and Pa had foresight.

Oh, of course. My apologies, Hermit Hank.

Blast it! This swamp is a gettin' too crowded

with that Bayou Pierre tourists,

the Gentleman Bandit, a swamp monster,

and now you kids.

Why can't y'all just leave me be?

Bayou Pierre mentioned the Gentleman Bandit before.

Some highfalutin crook.

Stole an armored bank car.

Ol' Chomps got rid of him though. (LAUGHS)

(GULPING)

You clearly know your swamp.

Is there anything you can tell us about the Swamp Monster.

I don't like a talkin' to strangers.

My parents didn't name me Hermit Hank

in anticipation of nothin'.

Look into my eyes, mortal,

tell us about this foul swamp creature.

(LAUGHING)

I like her!

She's a loonier than me.

Tell ya what, y'all pass a little test,

I'll talk to ya.

Uh, what kind of test?

Homemade hot sauce!

-Hot sauce! -Hot sauce!

Oh, no.

My own recipe,

I call it... (SCREAMS)

That's spelled with 9 R's.

(LAUGHING)

Like, finally, a test I studied for.

As long as it doesn't have garlic.

I mean, not because of the vampire thing...

I just don't like it.

If y'all can handle the heat,

we'll have us a little chat.

(SIZZLING)

(SCREAMING)

-More, please. -More, please.

(SIZZLING)

(SCREAMING)

Mmm-hmm, ask for it by name.

Don't worry, Velma,

like, the burning only lasts for a second.

It just feels like an eternity because of

the horrible searing pain.

You'll wanna die.

Thanks for that.

Mmm. Tasty.

No one's ever called (SCREAMS) tasty before.

You are a tough son of a gun, girl.

You passed my test.

But I only know one thing about that swamp monster.

He only shows up at night.

Night, huh. That's interesting.

Well, uh, thank you, Hermit Hank.

Yeah, well, you all can thank me by

getting out of my swamp!

Hmm.

HANK: Tasty, huh?

Let me try...

(SIZZLING)

(SCREAMING)

(GOBBLING)

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Velma, I bet compared to Hermit Hank's hot sauce,

this stuff would taste like a cool breeze.

Are you kidding? Even the air here is spicy.

But then, how did you...

While you guys were busy burning your mouths,

I flipped my toothpick around.

Smart, but unfortunately

we're still not close to solving this mystery.

It appears the mystery-solving reptile called Chomps

has returned.

Look at him. Mocking me.

Hey, what's that in his mouth?

Deadly sharp teeth?

No, the mortal is correct.

The cold-blooded beast carries something shiny.

Well, look at that,

"Detective Chomps" accidentally found a clue.

I'll just go grab it,

and actually find the clue on purpose.

All right, we've had our differences

which, of course, you are totally unaware

because you're an alligator.

But I'm willing to forget all that

if you just hand over the clue.

No, wait... Hey, hey! Give me my clue!

(STRUGGLING)

(STRUGGLING)

(CHOMPING)

Ahhh!

Ugh!

Are you okay?

I think he knows who the real detective is now.

Ugh.

A ring.

It's engraved. "Kingston University"?

Chomps has a ring from the most prestigious college in the country?

Like, man, Mitch from the gas station's gonna flip out.

Huh, looks kind of familiar.

Hey, Dwayne, this your ring that Chomps found?

I found!

Um...

Yes.

Right.

I'll just hold on to this for now.

Suit yourself.

(CRASHING)

DWAYNE: Ow, darn, who put the mop bucket there?

Oh, I did.

No offense, but he's not exactly Kingston material.

That ring had to come from some place.

And I doubt the Swamp Monster went to Kingston either.

-(GRUMBLING) -Hmm?

Wow, okay, no more hot sauce for you, Scooby.

Wasn't me.

(GRUMBLING)

Oh!

Like, Scoob,

for once, why can't that scary noise be coming from you?

(SHRIEKING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(TROLLEY BELL DINGING)

(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWING)

* Well, the night is getting colder

* Just want this love to begin

* Cannot doubt For the love never doubts

* It's gonna kill us all anyway

* This is the time we got baby, won't you let me stay

(HISSING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

* Cannot doubt For the love never doubts

* It's gonna kill us all anyway

* This is the time we got baby, won't you let me stay *

* Do it now, 'cause tomorrow I'll be gone *

(GROWLING)

Well, looks like the Swamp Monster's won.

No tourists gonna wanna come anywhere near here now.

Sure am gonna miss this place.

I guess there's no more world's best hot sauce.

A final toast.

-Ahhh! -Ahhh!

(SOBBING)

-Ahhh! -Ahhh!

-(SOBBING) -Mama!

-Ahhh! -Ahhh!

(SIGHS) What a waste of time.

Yeah, well,

I can't believe an alligator's a better detective than I am.

I should've accepted his help

instead of letting my ego get in the way.

The pack suffers, I can smell their despair.

Oh, please, give it a rest, Count Daphula.

Rest? The hunger never rests.

You mortals are the same,

each has a hunger that cannot be sated.

You, Velma, thirst for knowledge and truth.

You do not rest until the truth drips from your jaws.

And you, Shaggy and Scooby,

you hunger for, well, food.

In your case the hunger is fairly literal.

But you, Fred,

you hunger for puzzles in which to sink your teeth.

You do not rest until you've drained the last clue of riddles

and fed bountifully from your very life blood.

The solution to a mystery!

Daphne's right.

Her absurd commitment to staying in character

has shown me that giving up might be the same thing.

But it's not our thing,

we've got a swamp monster to catch!

Like, I'm tired of "we've got a monster to catch"

always being followed by us sitting alone in some

terrifying place being used as bait.

-I haven't noticed. -Seriously?

I mean, it happens every, single time.

Guess I've been preoccupied.

Ooh! (LAUGHING)

(GRUMBLING)

That's what always happens next.

That rings a bell!

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

Like, now!

-Huh? -Let her rip!

Argh!

Eat hot sauce, foul beast!

The Grim Reapepper strikes again.

SWAMP MONSTER: Ahhh!

Quick, it's getting away.

Oh, no, it's not.

He's coming your way!

(GROWLING)

Uh!

Nice work, partner.

Amazing, y'all caught the Swamp Monster.

He's no swamp monster.

ALL: Dwayne?

I can explain, I was just having some fun.

You can drop the act, Dwayne.

Or should we call you by your other name?

The Gentleman Bandit.

-The Gentleman Bandit? -The Gentleman Bandit?

Yes, yes, I've obviously been discovered.

Now would somebody please

remove this beast from my person,

this is no way to treat a southern gentleman.

Dwayne wanted to scare everyone out of the swamp.

Why? Because he was after the armored car he stole as the Gentleman Bandit.

When Chomp spoiled Dwayne's getaway,

the armored car, loaded with money, became submerged in the swamp.

Dwayne, AKA the Gentleman Bandit,

needed time to recover the money,

but he could only work at night.

The only problem was

that's when Bayou Pierre ran his swamp tours.

So the Swamp Monster was born.

Dwayne had come to town and got a job working with Bayou Pierre

as the perfect cover while he planned his bank robbery.

I realized he wasn't what he seemed when Pierre thought

the Kingston University ring belonged to Dwayne,

the same ring he lost the night of the robbery.

Dwayne wasn't Kingston material,

but the Gentleman Bandit was exactly the kind of

high society type that would be a Kingston alumnus.

And I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling alligator.

Uh, don't you mean meddling kids?

Hooray for Chomps the hero gator. He always gets his man!

ALL: Chomps, Chomps, Chomps!

No, uh... Wait, no, we teamed up with Chomps!

It was a collaborative effort.

CROWD: Chomps, Chomps! No one else! No one else!

How do you like that?

Chomps did do an impressive job, Fred.

Yeah!

SHAGGY AND SCOOBY: Chomps, Chomps, Chomps, Chomps!

Huh?

(SIGHS) Sometimes I wonder why I even risk my neck.

(HISSING)

Oh... Sorry.

(CAJUN MUSIC PLAYING)