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1
00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:05,032
[man over loudspeaker]
GETTING DOWN
TO THE CONCESSION STAND.
2
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,442
SPEAKING OF
THE CONCESSION STAND,
3
00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:07,592
WHO LIKES BEER?
4
00:00:07,884 --> 00:00:09,684
WE'VE GOT A SPECIAL
ON BLUE RIBBON DOWN THERE.
5
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,262
NOW, GET DOWN THERE AND GET IT.
6
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:13,073
ALL RIGHT, NOW, Y'ALL READY
FOR THE MAIN EVENT?
7
00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,517
LISTEN TO THEM RIDES REVVING.
8
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,769
Y'ALL READY FOR SOME
POWERHOUSE CRASH—UP?
9
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,437
NOW, ON MY MARK.
10
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:21,356
NOBODY START TILL I SAY GO.
11
00:00:21,648 --> 00:00:23,900
WHOA, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT
AN EARLY GUY.
12
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:24,526
LOOKS LIKE AN EARLY BIRDIE.
13
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,028
[loud crash]
14
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,989
[dramatic music]
15
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,449
♪♪
16
00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,409
[mellow music]
17
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:43,294
♪♪
18
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:46,130
[knocking on window]
19
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,638
HEY, MRS. GORE.
CAN GAVIN PLAY?
20
00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:55,598
GAVIN, HOBIE
AND MAYNARD ARE HERE.
21
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,393
[thudding footsteps]
22
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:01,259
YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME,
GENTLEMEN.
23
00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:02,522
I COMMEND YOU.
24
00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,399
(Mrs. Gore)
BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, GAVIE.
25
00:01:04,691 --> 00:01:06,043
I PUT A LITTLE PERILAX
IN YOUR DRINK.
26
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,610
MOM, I TOLD YOU,
I'M FINE.
27
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,195
I KNOW, DEAR,
28
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,048
BUT THIS WILL LOOSEN YOU UP
JUST IN CASE.
29
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,072
[groans]
30
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,387
(Mrs. Gore)
BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, GUYS.
31
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,622
WHAT'S PERILAX?
32
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:22,333
IT HELPS YOU
TO GET SQUIRTY DUMPLINGS.
33
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,228
SHUT UP, HOBIE. HOW DO YOU KNOW?
DO YOU USE IT?
34
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,004
I DON'T KNOW.
35
00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:27,656
COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S FIGHT ALREADY.
36
00:01:27,714 --> 00:01:30,049
FINE; IF YOU'RE SO READY,
I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE.
37
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,597
CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS,
GENTLEMEN.
38
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:36,973
I CHOOSE EXCALIBUR.
39
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,394
WHAT?
40
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,938
SINCE MAYNARD HAS CHOSEN
MY WEAPON OF CHOICE,
41
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:47,567
I AM FORCED TO USE
A SECONDARY WEAPON.
42
00:01:47,859 --> 00:01:51,070
THE MACE AND DAGGER.
43
00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:55,950
WHERE ARE YOU GOING,
THE BATHROOM?
44
00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:57,702
JUST SETTING THE MOOD,
GENTLEMEN,
45
00:01:57,994 --> 00:02:00,788
SETTING THE MOOD.
46
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,541
[soothing instrumental music]
47
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,627
♪♪
48
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,421
WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?
49
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,093
WARRIORS, PREPARE
TO CROSS SWORDS.
50
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:19,474
♪♪
51
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:20,475
ATTACK!
52
00:02:20,767 --> 00:02:24,270
[both grunting]
53
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:31,902
HIT.
54
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:36,366
(Hobie)
WARRIORS READY?
55
00:02:36,658 --> 00:02:38,534
ATTACK.
56
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,995
THAT'S IT.
57
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,458
GAVIN, YOU STUPID DINGLEBERRY,
58
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,627
WHAT YOU LISTENING TO,
WUSS TUNES?
59
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:48,628
TURN IT OFF!
60
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:52,173
HIT.
OH, GOD.
61
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:53,007
MY EYE. YOU——
THAT'S AN ILLEGAL HIT.
62
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:54,967
YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED.
I WIN.
63
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,553
[laughs]
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET
64
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,156
FOR LISTENING
TO THAT FAIRY MUSIC.
65
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,099
SHUT UP, ZERK.
YEAH, ZERK JERK.
66
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:02,934
HEY, PIPE IT, SISSY.
67
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,269
AND SHUT THAT CRAP OFF
BEFORE I SHUT YOU OFF.
68
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,354
MAKE US.
69
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:07,729
MAKE YOU?
70
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,249
ALL RIGHT,
WHY DON'T WE FIGHT FOR IT?
71
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:10,273
ME AGAINST YOU, GAVIN.
72
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,068
NO WAY; I JUST GOT HIT
IN THE FACE.
73
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,480
OH, YOU GOT HIT IN THE FACE.
74
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,405
FINE, BE A LITTLE WUSSBAG.
75
00:03:15,697 --> 00:03:17,323
I'LL TAKE ANDRE THE NERD
OVER HERE THEN.
76
00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:21,828
OKAY, BUT I HAVE TO GET
THE LONGSWORD.
77
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,138
ALL RIGHT, I DON'T REALLY
GIVE A CRAP.
78
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:23,871
GIVE ME
THAT OTHER LONG THINGY, THEN.
79
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,498
IT'S CALLED A SPEAR,
CRAP FACE.
80
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,630
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED,
YOU STUPID NERD.
81
00:03:27,834 --> 00:03:29,919
JUST GIVE IT HERE.
82
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,230
(Maynard)
COME ON, HOBIE,
STAY ON THE OFFENSIVE.
83
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,381
YOU'LL BE FINE, OKAY?
COME ON.
84
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:40,263
SPARRING PARTNERS,
PREPARE TO CROSS SWORDS.
85
00:03:40,555 --> 00:03:41,555
(Zerk)
LOOK AT HIM.
86
00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:44,976
LOOK AT THE BIG NERD
DANCE AROUND.
87
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:46,453
WHATEVER, MAN.
LET'S JUST FIGHT.
88
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,229
ATTACK!
89
00:03:48,521 --> 00:03:49,188
LOOK AT HIM.
90
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,189
WHAT YOU DOING?
91
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,481
(Maynard)
COME ON, HOBIE.
92
00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:52,524
COME ON, HOBIE.
93
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:53,727
LITTLE NERD'S
CHEERING HIM ON.
94
00:03:53,985 --> 00:03:55,570
LOOK AT THE BIG MAN.
95
00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:57,488
GET OUT OF HERE.
96
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,031
[groans]
HEY, LOOK AT HIM.
97
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,284
HE'S LIKE A BIG OLD BEETLE
WHAT'S ON ITS BACK.
98
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:02,594
HEY, ILLEGAL HIT.
YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED.
99
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,787
HE WINS.
GET OUT OF HERE.
100
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,159
YEAH, ZERK,
POKE THAT PIGGY.
101
00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:08,416
HEY, YOU BIG BULLY,
QUIT IT!
102
00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:09,750
FACE SHOTS ARE ILLEGAL.
103
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:11,169
[groans]
104
00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:13,421
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE GETTING HIT
IN THE FACE?
105
00:04:13,713 --> 00:04:14,338
YOU BETTER MIND
YOUR MANNERS, BOY.
106
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,965
ENOUGH.
107
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,301
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH
FOR THE HIKE
108
00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:19,993
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS
TOMORROW, HOBIE.
109
00:04:20,178 --> 00:04:21,280
YOU KNOW HOW YOUR KNEES
START ACHING UNDER YOUR GIRTH.
110
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,431
WHAT'S AT DEER CLIFF FALLS?
111
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:24,723
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
112
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:25,266
YEAH, NONE—YA.
113
00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:27,351
YEAH, RIGHT, RETARDS.
114
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,288
PROBABLY LOOKING
FOR ARROWHEADS OR SOMETHING.
115
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:29,979
SO WHAT IF WE ARE?
116
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,271
SHUT UP, MAYNARD.
SORRY.
117
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,475
YEAH, WELL,
THERE AIN'T NONE,
118
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,876
'CAUSE IF THERE WAS,
I WOULD'VE FOUND THEM
119
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,210
WHEN I WENT LOOKING FOR THEM
THREE MONTHS AGO.
120
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:35,735
MAYBE YOU WERE TOO UGLY
TO SEE THEM.
121
00:04:36,027 --> 00:04:37,904
YEAH, YOU'RE SO UGLY,
122
00:04:38,196 --> 00:04:39,506
ALL THE ARROWHEADS
RAN AWAY AND HID.
123
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,531
WHATEV, YOU LITTLE DORKS.
124
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:44,327
CAN'T MAKE THIS OUT OF FOAM
AND DUCT TAPE.
125
00:04:44,619 --> 00:04:47,789
YEAH, ZERK.
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
126
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,333
STUPID NERDS.
127
00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:55,379
[energetic music over TV]
128
00:04:55,671 --> 00:05:03,554
♪♪
129
00:05:04,764 --> 00:05:06,015
[growling]
130
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,738
[whispering]
OH, HELLO.
131
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,241
I AM DR. ARTIMUS SNODGRASS,
132
00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:28,538
AND WELCOME TO THE WORLD
OF THE SASQUATCH.
133
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:31,541
TODAY I WILL ATTEMPT TO ANSWER
134
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:35,503
SOME OF THE PENETRATING
QUESTIONS WE ALL HAVE
135
00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,923
ABOUT THE ANIMAL——
OR HUMAN BEING,
136
00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:41,801
DEPENDING ON WHOM
YOU LISTEN TO——
137
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:45,221
COMMON REFERRED TO
AS BIGFOOT.
138
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,516
QUESTIONS LIKE,
WHAT IS A SASQUATCH?
139
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:49,433
[gasps]
140
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:50,725
GAVIN, YOU HAVE VISITORS.
141
00:05:50,852 --> 00:05:52,812
NOT TOO LONG.
LUNCH IS ALMOST READY.
142
00:05:53,104 --> 00:05:53,646
(Snodgrass)
AND THE QUESTION——
143
00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:54,938
(Mrs. Gore)
OKAY, BOYS.
144
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:56,023
(boy)
MRS. GORE.
145
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,609
HELLO, GENTLEMEN.
146
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,741
WHAT BRINGS YOU TO MY PART
OF THE REGION TODAY?
147
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,280
WE JUST WANT
TO GET A VIDEO, DUDE.
148
00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:04,866
WAIT, DON'T I ALWAYS SEE
YOU TWO GUYS
149
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,409
HANGING OUT
WITH SHANE BAGWELL?
150
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:08,244
YEAH, WELL, WE USED TO.
151
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,122
BUT HE WAS SO ANNOYING,
WE STOPPED.
152
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,499
OKAY, WHICH ONE
WERE YOU THINKING?
153
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,391
WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE
WITH MICHAEL JACKSON?
154
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:15,793
YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
CAPTAIN EO.
155
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,920
NO CAN DO, BRETHREN.
156
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,772
THE LAST TIME
SOMEONE BORROWED THAT ONE,
157
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:21,382
THEY LOST MY 3—D GLASSES.
158
00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:24,594
OKAY, WHAT ABOUT
THE BIGFOOT VIDEO?
159
00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:25,511
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
160
00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:28,014
I WAS WATCHING
THAT ONE MYSELF.
161
00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:29,390
SWEET.
162
00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:30,682
THAT WILL BE $3,
163
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,226
AND IT'S DUE BACK
NEXT TUESDAY.
164
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,061
LATER,
165
00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:36,271
DUDE.
166
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:37,355
[chuckles]
167
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,243
[gentle music]
168
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:55,166
♪♪
169
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,458
[Gavin screaming]
170
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,500
[imitating gun]
171
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,585
AH, I'VE BEEN HIT.
172
00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:01,505
AH.
173
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:02,840
[indistinct speech]
174
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,132
AH!
175
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,559
SO WHY DO THEY CALL IT
DEER CLIFF FALLS?
176
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:15,954
WELL, INDIANS USED TO CHASE DEER
WITH BOWS AND ARROWS,
177
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,218
AND DEER WOULD GET
SO FRIGHTENED
178
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:18,916
THAT THEY'D RUN RIGHT OFF
THE BIG CLIFF UP HERE
179
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,232
TO THEIR DEATH.
180
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,210
AND THEN THE INDIANS
WOULD CLIMB DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
181
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,444
AND GET THE DEER
AND COOK IT.
182
00:07:23,736 --> 00:07:24,403
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE FIND
SO MANY ARROWHEADS UP HERE.
183
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,404
WHOA!
184
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,825
[grunts]
185
00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:33,663
IT STINKS.
186
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,420
HEY, GUYS,
DO YOU SEE THIS?
187
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,343
[together]
THE SASQUATCH.
188
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:48,635
WHO?
189
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,030
HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD
OF BIGFOOT?
190
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:51,305
LIKE, THE BIG HAIRY GUY?
191
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,474
EXACTLY.
192
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,892
HE'S BEEN HERE.
LOOK.
193
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,520
IT LOOKS LIKE HE STOPPED TO TAKE
A BIG DUMP RIGHT THERE.
194
00:07:57,812 --> 00:07:59,492
AT LEAST HE DOESN'T TAKE
SQUIRTY DUMPLINGS.
195
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:00,522
SHUT UP, HOBIE.
196
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,000
COME ON,
WE'VE GOT TO TELL THE COPS.
197
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,192
SCREW THE COPS.
198
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:05,084
LET'S TELL
THE CLACKANOMAH COUNTY HERALD.
199
00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:06,505
WE'LL GET OUR PICTURES
IN THE PAPER.
200
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:07,714
SCREW IT.
LET'S TELL BOTH OF THEM.
201
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,738
ALL RIGHT.
202
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:11,492
[gentle music]
203
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:14,662
♪♪
204
00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:15,996
[music stops]
205
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:18,541
SWEET.
NICE.
206
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,376
NICE SHOT, SHANE.
207
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,295
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHAT'S THE RUSH, LADIES?
208
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,257
WE FOUND SASQUATCH TRACKS.
SHUT UP, MAYNARD.
209
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,176
SASQUATCH?
YEAH, RIGHT.
210
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,470
LIKE THAT VIDEO OF YOURS
WE WATCHED LAST NIGHT?
211
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,888
YOU GUYS
LET SHANE WATCH IT?
212
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,682
THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE BANNED FROM RENTING.
213
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,560
WE DON'T GIVE A CRAP, YO.
214
00:08:37,852 --> 00:08:39,478
(Shane)
WHAT'S SHE DOING
WITH YOU GUYS?
215
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,022
SHE'S JUST
A FRIEND OF MINE.
216
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,749
I BET SHE'S WALKING OUT
AHEAD OF YOU GUYS,
217
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,399
WASN'T SHE, MAYNARD?
218
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,192
YEAH, SO WHAT?
219
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,962
SO I JUST FIGURED OUT
WHO LAID THE SASQUATCH TRACKS.
220
00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:47,695
THAT'S ALL.
221
00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:50,406
[laughter]
222
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,698
SHUT UP, SHANE.
223
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,159
MAKE ME.
224
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:54,886
WE REALLY DID FIND
THOSE SASQUATCH TRACKS.
225
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,162
YOU JUST WAIT
AND SEE, JERKWAD.
226
00:08:56,454 --> 00:08:58,056
WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR MONEY
WHERE YOU MOUTH IS, PUNK?
227
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,083
FINE, I'M NOT AFRAID.
228
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,960
OKAY, WELL, IF THERE ARE
229
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,337
REAL "SASQUATCH" TRACKS
UP THERE,
230
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:06,881
THEN I'LL GIVE YOU THIS.
231
00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:10,301
IF THEY'RE NOT, I GET
YOUR ENTIRE VIDEO COLLECTION.
232
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,470
NO WAY.
233
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:15,765
TOLD YOU SO.
HIS GIRLFRIEND LAID THE TRACKS.
234
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,559
FINE, IT'S A DEAL.
235
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,437
THANKS.
236
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:24,190
IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL HANG ON
TO THE OTHER VIDEO WE GOT.
237
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:25,917
DON'T TRIP OVER
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FAT FEET
238
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:26,484
ON THE WAY HOME.
239
00:09:26,776 --> 00:09:27,443
THEY WEREN'T TOO FAT FOR YOU
240
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,360
WITH THE NICKELCADE
THE OTHER DAY.
241
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,529
OH.
242
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,364
YOU BETTER PUT
THAT METAL—MOUTH DOG
243
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,365
ON A CHAIN, GAVIN.
244
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,367
SHUT UP, SHANE.
SHE'S NOT A DOG.
245
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:36,327
YOU'RE A DOG.
246
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,579
OOH, YOU'RE SCARING ME.
247
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,956
BOO!
UGH!
248
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,750
GET UP, GAVIN.
GET UP AND FIGHT ME.
249
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:44,543
(boy)
MUFFIN.
250
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:45,961
[laughter]
251
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,379
COME ON, TINKER BELL.
252
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,298
COME ON, GAVIN.
IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
253
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,790
YEAH, WE'VE GOT TO GET
TO TOWN.
254
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:51,467
COME ON.
255
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:54,637
[sighs]
256
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:57,014
(boy)
LUCKY, YOU KNOW THAT?
257
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,725
YEAH, GAVIN,
YOU BETTER RUN ALONG.
258
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,686
[all laughing]
259
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,022
GOSH, THAT GUY'S
A STINKING UGLY BUTT.
260
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,541
YOU KNOW, WE REALLY DID FIND
THOSE SASQUATCH FOOTPRINTS.
261
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,359
SO HE'S THE ONE
WHO'S GONNA LOSE.
262
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,091
THAT CHINESE STAR
IS AS GOOD AS MINE.
263
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,613
COME ON.
YEAH, HE'S SCREWED.
264
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:15,759
(Hobie)
OFFICER, WE'D LIKE
TO FILE A REPORT——
265
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,344
WE WERE UP ON THE TRAIL
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS,
266
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:18,994
AND WE FOUND A NUMBER
OF LARGE TRACKS.
267
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,371
WE THINK IT'S BIGFOOT.
268
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:26,335
BIGFOOT.
269
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:30,631
HEY, CHILLCUT,
GOT A LEAD FOR YOU.
270
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,550
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
271
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:33,968
OKEYDOKEY,
272
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:35,660
WE'LL WAIT FOR YOU
AT THE TRAILHEAD.
273
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,180
CHILLCUT OUT.
274
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:39,752
THERE'S GONNA BE
REPORTERS THERE.
275
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,015
SATISFIED?
276
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:42,268
I GUESS.
277
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,995
ARE YOU SURE IT'S LEGAL
TO HAVE FOUR OF US
278
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,499
STUFFED BACK HERE
WITHOUTS SEAT BELTS?
279
00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:46,563
OH, RELAX, BIG BOY.
280
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,791
THE WAY YOU'RE ALL WEDGED
BACK THERE
281
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,215
IS PROBABLY BETTER
THAN A SEAT BELT.
282
00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:51,395
NOW, IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT
SOME PERSONAL BUSINESS
283
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:52,652
TO ATTEND TO.
284
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:53,362
SHE—RA, THIS IS HE—MAN.
285
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,698
OVER.
286
00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,630
[woman over radio]
THAT'S A GO FOR SHE—RA.
287
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:58,951
IT'S THE SASQUATCH AGAIN.
288
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,283
DROP EVERYTHING
AND MEET ME
289
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,079
AT THE DEER CLIFF FALLS
TRAILHEAD. OVER.
290
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,003
WHICH ONE OF YOU KIDS
FOUND THIS?
291
00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:13,340
I GUESS
MAYBE I FIGURED IT OUT.
292
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:14,633
WELL, YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF
293
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,553
QUITE A CACHE OF EVIDENCE HERE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
294
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,389
DO YOU THINK
IT'S THE SASQUATCH?
295
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,961
WELL, IF IT WASN'T
THE SASQUATCH,
296
00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:23,983
WE SURE GOT SOME BIG DUDE
WALKING AROUND HERE,
297
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,308
DUMPING THE BIGGEST FECES
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE,
298
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,188
AND I'VE SEEN A LOT.
299
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,689
[laughs]
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?
300
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,441
OH.
301
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,733
BLONDEEN.
302
00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,783
THESE TRACKS ARE FRESH TOO.
303
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:40,743
YOU CAN TELL THAT
FROM THE POOP?
304
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,913
NO, IT RAINED LAST NIGHT.
305
00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:47,666
THAT MEANS...
306
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:50,044
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN DUMPED
EARLY THIS MORNING.
307
00:11:50,336 --> 00:11:52,213
SO IT'S, LIKE,
A MORNING DUMP?
308
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,464
I BETTER GET SOME CAUTION TAPE
OUT OF THE CRUISER,
309
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,758
ROPE THIS AREA OFF.
310
00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:58,111
YOU GUYS STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE
NOBODY MESSES WITH IT.
311
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,196
BLONDEEN, BETTER GET ARTIE
ON THE PHONE.
312
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,013
HE'S GONNA WANT TO SEE THIS.
313
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,933
(woman)
OKAY, MELVIN.
314
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:08,562
YOU GET A SHOT OF THIS KID
STANDING IN FRONT OF THAT FIND,
315
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,065
AND I'LL ASK
THE QUESTIONS, OKAY?
316
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:12,557
WHAT DID YOU SAY
YOUR NAME WAS?
317
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,318
GAVIN GORE.
318
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,946
AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THIS BEFORE, GAVIN?
319
00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:19,907
[chuckles]
I THINK HOBIE LAID ONE
LIKE THAT A WHILE BACK.
320
00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:21,825
(Maynard)
TELL THEM ABOUT THE CORN.
321
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:25,537
[woman over TV]
AS YOU CAN SEE RIGHT BEHIND
MY RIGHT SHOULDER,
322
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,389
THERE IS A VERY LARGE
SELECTION OF FECES
323
00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:29,416
FROM WHAT WE THINK
COULD BE
324
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,126
THE SASQUATCH.
325
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,778
WE'RE BRINGING
IN ARTIMUS SNODGRASS
326
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,564
TO DETERMINE WHETHER THIS
IS INDEED A REAL FIND.
327
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,799
HE IS THE WORLD'S
FOREMOST AUTHORITY
328
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:39,260
ON SASQUATCH
AND SASQUATCH SCAT.
329
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,470
(woman)
AND WHEN WILL HE BE ARRIVING?
330
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,402
(Chillcut)
WELL, HE SHOULD BE
ARRIVING HERE
331
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,807
WITHIN THE NEXT THREE DAYS.
332
00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,493
(woman)
WHAT LED YOU TO FIND
THIS SASQUATCH FECES?
333
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,560
[Gavin over television]
WELL, WE WERE——
334
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,229
I CAME TO GET MY VIDEO BACK.
335
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:51,647
NO WAY, LAMEWAD.
YOU LOST.
336
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,108
WE TOLD YOU
WE FOUND SASQUATCH FOOTPRINTS.
337
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,627
LOOK, IT'S ON THE NEWS
RIGHT THERE.
338
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:56,971
WELL, THE TRUTH
OF THE MATTER IS——
339
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,779
[scoffs]
YEAH, RIGHT.
340
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:00,173
OFFICER CHILLCUT'S MY UNCLE,
341
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:01,657
AND HE WOULDN'T KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE
342
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,009
BETWEEN A DEER TRACK
AND A SNACK PACK.
343
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,910
SO?
SO.
344
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,805
HE SAID HE CALLED THAT GUY
FROM YOUR STUPID VIDEO.
345
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,913
ARTIMUS SNODGRASS?
346
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:09,641
HE SAID HE'LL BE HERE
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS
347
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:10,934
TO SEE IF THE TRACKS
ARE REAL OR NOT.
348
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,376
THIS IS SO STUPID.
349
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,479
WE DIDN'T EVEN BET ON WHETHER
THE TRACKS WERE REAL.
350
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,064
WE JUST BET ON WHETHER
WE FOUND SOME TRACKS.
351
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:17,816
I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BOOT
WHAT THE BET WAS, ALL RIGHT?
352
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,509
IF HE SAYS IT AIN'T REAL,
WE GET YOUR VIDEOS.
353
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,195
COME ON, JUST GIVE ME
MY VIDEO BACK.
354
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:23,238
I DON'T EVEN WANT
YOUR STUPID CHINESE STAR.
355
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,806
ALL RIGHT, LET ME GO GET IT.
YEAH.
356
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,098
[door slams]
357
00:13:28,017 --> 00:13:30,853
[rock music]
358
00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:38,360
♪♪
359
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:39,652
[knocking at door]
360
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,239
(Zerk)
WHAT?
361
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:43,531
HELLO?
362
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,182
I'M OUT BACK
GRILLING BRATS, SHIRTS.
363
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,121
ARE YOU EZEKIEL WILDER?
364
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:54,060
ZERK WILDER, YEAH.
WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
365
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,754
I'M MR. ERNIE DALRYMPLE.
366
00:13:57,046 --> 00:14:01,425
I REPRESENT BILFORD, COHEN,
AND GREGG COLLECTION AGENCY.
367
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:04,136
SIR, DO YOU HAVE
IN YOUR POSSESSION
368
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,931
A CREDIT CARD ISSUED
BY THE NEW BANK OF FLANDERS?
369
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,225
YEAH, I KNOW I GOT ONE,
BUT I DON'T EVER USE IT,
370
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,786
'CAUSE IT'S
FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.
371
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,020
SIR,
372
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:15,314
IT WAS USED JULY 17, 1999,
373
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,359
AT A BURGERVILLE, FOR $5.17.
374
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,694
WHAT?
375
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:24,865
COULD I HAVE ONE SEMI—HUGE
WALLA WALLA ONION RING...S
376
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:28,535
AND FOUR FRESH
RASPBERRY MILK SHAKES?
377
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,580
OH, YEAH.
378
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:34,291
THE REASON I'M HERE TODAY,
MR. WILDER,
379
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,794
IS THAT
FOR THE LAST SIX YEARS,
380
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,797
THE BANK HAS ATTEMPTED
TO REACH YOU BY LETTER...
381
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:43,175
BILLS?
WHATEVER.
382
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,386
YES, THEY GOT
THE NEW SABBATH TABS.
383
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,096
ROCK ON.
384
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,473
AND BY TELEPHONE...
385
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,183
HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE.
386
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:54,895
[snorts]
STUPID TELEMARKETERS.
387
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:57,314
AND FINALLY THEY HAVE SENT ME
TO GIVE YOU THIS BILL,
388
00:14:57,606 --> 00:15:02,736
INDICATING
THAT YOU OWE $1,438.93,
389
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,798
WHICH HAS RESULTED
IN A LIEN ON YOUR PROPERTY,
390
00:15:04,822 --> 00:15:07,574
PRINCIPALLY
YOUR PONTIAC FIREBIRD,
391
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,119
IN THAT YOU RENT THIS HOME.
392
00:15:10,411 --> 00:15:13,580
ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS ALL NERD TALK.
393
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,040
THAT I DON'T GET IT.
394
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,001
YOU HAVE UNTIL MONDAY NEXT
TO COME UP WITH THE MONEY,
395
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,045
OTHERWISE THE TITLE
OF YOUR AUTOMOBILE
396
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,256
WILL BE TRANSFERRED
TO THE BANK.
397
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:23,257
HERE'S THE PAPERWORK
398
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:24,675
INDICATING SUCH.
399
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:25,968
THANK YOU SO MUCH
400
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,260
FOR YOUR TIME.
401
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,511
HAVE A LOVELY DAY.
402
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,055
HEY, MR. DALRYMPLE.
403
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,182
OOPS.
404
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,810
[flames crackling]
405
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,102
[laughs]
IT'S BURNING.
406
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:38,439
LOOK AT HIS FACE.
LOOKIT.
407
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,816
[laughs]
408
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,943
STUPID BALD NERD.
409
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,695
UH—OH. HEY, I'LL PAY IT.
410
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:45,529
OH, WAIT, I CAN'T.
IT'S BURNED.
411
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:49,116
[laughing]
412
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:54,705
THAT STUPID——
413
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,165
SUCKS, MAN.
414
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:59,042
WHERE AM I GONNA GET
1,400 BUCKS FROM?
415
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,414
HOW CAN I OWE THAT MUCH
FOR A $5 MEAL AT BURGERVILLE?
416
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,545
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
417
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,548
IT'S THEM FINANCE CHARGES,
I RECKON.
418
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,466
THEY BUILD UP.
419
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,092
NO CRAP, GENIUS.
420
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,969
WHERE YOU FROM, HARVARD?
421
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,554
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
422
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,073
WHY DON'T YOU STOP TELLING ME
THINGS I ALREADY KNOW
423
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,616
AND COME UP WITH A WAY
FOR US TO MAKE THIS MONEY?
424
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,118
'CAUSE AIN'T NO ONE TAKING
THE FIREBIRD AWAY FROM ME.
425
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,478
[metallic screeching]
426
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,038
NOW, IS THIS
OR ISN'T THIS AMERICA?
427
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,182
I THOUGHT WE LIVED
IN A PLACE
428
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,833
WHERE THE GOVERNMENT
CAN'T SCREW YOU OVER.
429
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:25,027
I DON'T THINK THE GOVERNMENT
IS THE ONE SCREWING YOU.
430
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,319
FIRE IN THE HOLE.
431
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,571
WHATEVER, MAN.
432
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:28,989
THIS WHOLE COUNTRY
IS FOUNDED
433
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,492
ON NOT TAKING CRAP
FROM ANYONE, YOU KNOW?
434
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,303
IT'S ALL ABOUT FREEDOM, MAN,
LIKE THIS,
435
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,204
YOU KNOW, FREEDOM
TO HANG OUT WITH A BUDDY,
436
00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:36,806
DRINK SOME BEERS,
SQUEEZE OFF A COUPLE ROUNDS.
437
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,208
[gunshots]
438
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:45,172
MAN, IF I COULD GET
WITHIN 50 YARDS OF BIN LADEN.
439
00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:47,466
(Shirts)
CHECK THIS OUT.
440
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:49,038
REMEMBER WHEN WE WAS AT REPTICON
441
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,178
AND THAT GUY
WAS SELLING THEM CHAMELEONS?
442
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,790
OH, GREAT.
AGAIN WITH THE LIZARDS.
443
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,223
AND YOU WAS LIKE,
444
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:55,515
"HOW MUCH?"
445
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,976
AND HE WAS LIKE, "$300."
446
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,771
AND YOU WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, RIGHT."
447
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:01,688
YEAH, DUDE, I WAS THERE.
448
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:02,999
I REMEMBER.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
449
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,234
WELL, WHAT IF WE GOT
A BOY AND A GIRL
450
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,819
AND GOT THEM SUCKERS
TO MATE?
451
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:11,406
THEN WE CAN SELL
THEM BABY CHAMELEONS,
452
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:16,411
BUT WE SELL THEM
FOR $299.
453
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,372
THEN PEOPLE WILL BE LIKE,
454
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,667
"WHY AM I GONNA GIVE
THAT OLD GUY $300
455
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:24,169
"WHEN I CAN GET THEM
SAME CHAMELEONS
456
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:29,883
FOR A DOLLAR CHEAPER
FROM THOSE OTHER GUYS?"
457
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,468
(Zerk)
HOW LONG WOULD THAT TAKE?
458
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,555
IF THE CHAMELEONS
ARE IN HEAT,
459
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:42,604
PROBABLY...
460
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,314
THREE OR FOUR MONTHS.
461
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,606
THREE OR FOUR MONTHS.
462
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:47,276
I NEED THE MONEY
IN TEN DAYS, IDIOT.
463
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,208
TOOK YOU THREE OR FOUR MONTHS
TO SAY THAT.
464
00:17:49,278 --> 00:17:52,864
WELL, THEN HOW ABOUT
A LEMONADE STAND?
465
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,884
LEMONADE STAND.
HOW ARE WE GONNA MAKE LEMONADE?
466
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:57,077
WILL YOU IDIOTS
SHUT UP, PLEASE?
467
00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:58,369
I'M TRYING TO WATCH THIS.
468
00:17:58,412 --> 00:17:59,496
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP?
469
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,665
YEAH, FRANKIE,
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP?
470
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:03,637
AND WHAT IS THIS,
MORE OF THAT LIZARD CRAP?
471
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:09,047
(Shirts)
OH, IT'S ONE OF THEM LIZARDS
THAT CAN RUN ON WATER.
472
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,300
BIG WHOOP,
I CAN DO THAT.
473
00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:12,592
WHATEVER, DUDE.
474
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:13,343
YEAH, WHATEVER, MAN.
I CAN.
475
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:14,219
IT AIN'T THAT HARD, DUDE.
476
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,887
ALL YOU NEED
IS SOME FLIPPERS
477
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,219
AND GET GOING FAST ENOUGH.
478
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,599
I COULD TOTALLY DO IT.
479
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,730
YEAH, RIGHT, IT'S NOT
EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.
480
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,579
OH, YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU,
THE LIZARD WIZARD?
481
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,563
AT LEAST I GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL.
482
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,249
WHY DON'T YOU PIPE IT, FRANKIE,
BE A LITTLE POSITIVE?
483
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,400
IT AIN'T THAT HARD, MAN.
484
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,086
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GRADUATE
HIGH SCHOOL TO KNOW
485
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,421
THAT THE ONLY REASON
THAT LIZARD'S DOING THAT
486
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:32,589
IS 'CAUSE HE'S GOT LONG,
LIKE, WEBBY FEET.
487
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:35,198
THAT STILL DON'T MEAN
YOU CAN DO IT.
488
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,700
ALL RIGHT,
489
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:37,534
WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR MONEY
WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS,
490
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:38,869
MOHAWK BOY?
491
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,412
YOU SERIOUS?
492
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:41,830
I'M DEAD SERIOUS.
493
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,373
ALL RIGHT THEN. 50 BUCKS.
494
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,167
ALL RIGHT, SUCKER.
495
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,179
HEY, SHIRTS, THIS THING
GO ANY FASTER, DUDE?
496
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,213
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S ALL SHE'S GOT.
497
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:51,965
JUST GO, IDIOT.
498
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:52,883
ALL RIGHT, YEAH, I WILL.
499
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,969
SEE YOU ON THE SHORE, COMPADRE.
500
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,930
[dramatic music]
501
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,475
♪♪
502
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,519
[music slows]
503
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:09,191
♪♪
504
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,905
[groans]
505
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,531
HAPPY?
506
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,408
DON'T CASH THAT
FOR A COUPLE DAYS,
507
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,619
OR YOU'LL BE SORRY.
508
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:22,913
LATER, GEEK—ZEKIEL.
509
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:25,499
SHUT UP, FRANKIE.
GEEK.
510
00:19:25,791 --> 00:19:27,918
IDIOT.
511
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,170
THAT SUCKS.
512
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:32,102
STUPID BOAT
WASN'T EVEN GOING FAST ENOUGH.
513
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,466
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
JUST GET A JOB.
514
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,802
JOB? I AIN'T GETTING
NO JOB, DUDE.
515
00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:39,429
THIS IS AMERICA, MAN.
516
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:40,222
PLENTY OF MONEY OUT THERE,
517
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:41,532
WAITING FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME
518
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,850
TO JUST WALK UP
AND GET MY HANDS ON IT.
519
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,019
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
520
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:48,031
I GOT A BETTER WAY
FOR US TO MAKE THIS CASH.
521
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,188
COME ON.
522
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,193
[chuckling]
OH, MAN.
523
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,570
OOH.
524
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,215
JUST LIKE TAKING CANDY
FROM A NERD.
525
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,241
DINGED UP MY FOREHEAD,
THOUGH.
526
00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,827
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
527
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,919
GET OUT OF HERE?
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, DUDE?
528
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,640
WE GOT TO GET SOME BREWSKIS
AND CELEBRATE, MAN.
529
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:06,707
COME ON,
530
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,438
THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD
FOR US, DUDE.
531
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:09,727
PLUS, I GOT US A SWEET MOVIE
TO WATCH AND EVERYTHING.
532
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,461
COME ON.
533
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,422
[spirited classical music]
534
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:22,472
♪♪
535
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,433
[energetic choral music]
536
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:33,275
♪♪
537
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:14,232
[groans]
538
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,735
OH, MAN, DOES MY HEAD HURT.
539
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:18,195
HOW'S THAT CUT FEELING?
540
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:21,156
MM, NOT TOO BAD.
541
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,451
I'M JUST HUNG OVER, IS ALL.
542
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:25,911
HEY, HOW MUCH MONEY WE MAKE?
543
00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:27,913
ABOUT 77 BUCKS.
544
00:21:28,205 --> 00:21:29,956
BOON.
545
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:31,917
DUDE, WE GOT
TO STEP IT UP, MAN.
546
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:34,920
WE NEED TO BE AVERAGING AT LEAST
$50 MORE A DAY TO MAKE IT.
547
00:21:35,212 --> 00:21:37,493
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE SPENT
20 BUCKS ON BEER LAST NIGHT.
548
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:40,634
SHIRTS, HINDSIGHT IS 50/50.
YOU EVER HEARD OF THAT?
549
00:21:40,926 --> 00:21:43,804
MAYBE WE SHOULD START
BUYING STUFF AT THRIFT STORES
550
00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,095
AND SELLING IT ON EBAY.
551
00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:46,681
[soothing instrumental music]
552
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,017
WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?
553
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:54,231
♪♪
554
00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:56,066
THAT MUSIC, MAN.
555
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,610
ANYWAY, MY MOM AND HER FRIENDS
DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
556
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,302
THEY BUY OLD CRAP
AND PAINT IT WHITE
557
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,988
AND THEN CALL IT SHABBY CHIC.
558
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,674
AND THEN PEOPLE
ON THE INTERNET BUY IT.
559
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:04,698
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
560
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:06,552
WHAT PEOPLE PAY GOOD MONEY FOR
ON THE INTERNET.
561
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,620
CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK.
562
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,152
CAN'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO YOU
563
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,557
'CAUSE OF THIS STUPID
NERD NOISE.
564
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:13,083
♪♪
565
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:14,375
THAT'S IT, MAN.
566
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,837
YEAH, I CAN'T EVEN HEAR
MYSELF THINK.
567
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:18,523
(Zerk)
GAVIN, YOU STUPID DINGLEBERRY,
568
00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:20,715
WHAT YOU LISTENING TO,
WUSS TUNES?
569
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,007
TURN IT OFF!
570
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:30,267
NO, SPUNKY,
THIS IS MY CORN DOG.
571
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:31,852
[microwave beeping]
572
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:49,202
(Maynard)
COME ON.
573
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:50,854
(Zerk)
LITTLE NERD CHEERING HIM ON.
574
00:22:50,996 --> 00:22:53,248
OH, NO,
LOOK AT THE BIG MAN.
575
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:54,916
GET OUT OF HERE.
576
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:55,917
[grunting and groaning]
577
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:57,794
MY EYES.
HEY, LOOK AT HIM.
578
00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,422
HE'S LIKE A BIG OLD BEETLE
WHAT'S ON ITS BACK.
579
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,554
HEY, ILLEGAL HIT.
YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED. HE WINS.
580
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:03,800
GET OUT OF HERE, NERD.
581
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,172
YEAH, ZERK,
POKE THAT PIGGY.
582
00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:07,679
HEY, YOU BIG BULLY,
QUIT IT!
583
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:08,305
FACE SHOTS ARE ILLEGAL.
584
00:23:08,597 --> 00:23:10,557
[grunts]
585
00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:12,201
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE GETTING HIT
IN THE FACE?
586
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,269
(Zerk)
YOU BETTER MIND
YOUR MANNERS, BOY.
587
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:15,896
(Gavin)
ENOUGH.
588
00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:17,290
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH
FOR THE HIKE
589
00:23:17,314 --> 00:23:18,714
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS
TOMORROW, HOBIE.
590
00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:20,935
YOU KNOW HOW YOUR KNEES
START ACHING UNDER YOUR GIRTH.
591
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,086
WHAT'S AT DEER CLIFF FALLS?
592
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:22,819
(Gavin)
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
593
00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:24,111
(Maynard)
YEAH, NONE—YA.
594
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:25,655
WHATEV, YOU LITTLE DORKS.
595
00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:27,908
CAN'T MAKE THIS
OUT OF FOAM AND DUCT TAPE.
596
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:31,161
YEAH, ZERK,
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
597
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:32,805
MAN, THAT KID LOVES
THAT NERDY STUFF.
598
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,629
YOU SEE THAT STUPID SHIRT
HE WAS WEARING?
YEAH.
599
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,917
HE'S THE TYPE OF KID
YOU WAS TALKING ABOUT
600
00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:41,922
BUYING THAT CRAP
ON THE INTERNET, YOU KNOW?
601
00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:43,213
YOU THINK PEOPLE BUY,
602
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,091
LIKE, BIGFOOT—TYPE CRAP
ON THE INTERNET,
603
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:48,094
LIKE PLASTER FOOTPRINTS
AND JUNK LIKE THAT?
604
00:23:48,386 --> 00:23:50,722
PROBABLY.
605
00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:53,183
COME ON, WE GOT TO GET
SOME SUPPLIES.
606
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,809
I GOT ME AN IDEA.
607
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,221
ALL RIGHT,
CHECK IT OUT, MAN.
608
00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:57,788
THIS OPERATION HAS TO BE
TOTALLY LEGIT, YOU KNOW?
609
00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:00,732
LOOK, WE'VE GOT TO GET INTO
NEWSPAPER ARTICLES OR SOMETHING,
610
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:02,501
JUST SO PEOPLE KNOW WE AIN'T
JUST A COUPLE OF IDIOTS
611
00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,819
SELLING FAKE PLASTER CASTS
SHAPED LIKE A BIG FOOT.
612
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:05,820
UH, WE ARE SELLING
FAKE PLASTER CASTS
613
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,530
SHAPED LIKE FAKE BIG FEE——
614
00:24:07,822 --> 00:24:08,822
SSH!
615
00:24:12,661 --> 00:24:14,621
NO CRAP, DINGUS.
616
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:16,433
THAT'S WHY
I GOT TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE
617
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:17,818
THAT IT'S TOTALLY LEGIT,
YOU KNOW?
618
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:19,751
YO, PEEP THIS, SHIRTS.
619
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,520
I'M GONNA ADD
A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA
620
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,797
TO GET PEOPLE TALKING.
621
00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:25,298
A BIG OL'
SASQUATCH DUMPLING.
622
00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:26,670
YOU HEAR A BUNCH
ABOUT FOLKS
623
00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:28,036
FINDING FOOTPRINTS
AND CRAP, YEAH?
624
00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:29,539
BUT YOU NEVER HEAR
ABOUT SOMEBODY
625
00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,803
FINDING A SASQUATCH FOOTPRINT
AND A SASQUATCH TURD.
626
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,224
SO I FIGURE, WITH THE RIGHT
MIXTURE OF THIS COCOA POWDER,
627
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,142
SOME FLOUR,
A LITTLE CORN FOR TEXTURE,
628
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:40,313
AND THE SECRET INGREDIENT...
629
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,190
AN EGG?
EXACTLY.
630
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,627
YOU KNOW WHAT THESE THINGS
SMELL LIKE WHEN THEY GO BAD?
631
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:48,571
YEAH, KIND OF LIKE
WHEN YOU RIP A REESTY ONE
632
00:24:48,863 --> 00:24:49,990
AFTER EATING A LOT OF FRUIT.
633
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:51,866
EXACTLY.
YOU'RE TWO FOR TWO, SHIRTS.
634
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:53,158
ALL RIGHT, NOW,
635
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:53,743
GET STARTED CUTTING OUT
THOSE FOOTPRINTS
636
00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:55,120
FOR THE BOOTS, MAN.
637
00:24:55,412 --> 00:24:56,612
SCISSORS SHOULD BE
IN THE SINK.
638
00:24:56,746 --> 00:24:58,498
LET'S GO.
639
00:24:58,790 --> 00:24:59,892
SCISSORS ARE
IN THE SINK, SHIRTS.
640
00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:01,042
WHERE YOU GOING?
641
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,379
WELL, I PROMISED MY MOM
I'D BE HOME FOR DINNER.
642
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,923
NO, NO, NO, NO,
WE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF THIS NOW,
643
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:07,924
BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN.
644
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:08,925
IT'S GOT BE LIGHT OUT.
645
00:25:09,217 --> 00:25:09,926
BUT IT'S NUGGET NIGHT.
646
00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:12,887
NO, I DON'T CARE IF——
647
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,181
SERIOUSLY,
YOU'RE HAVING NUGGETS?
648
00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:16,753
YOU'RE OUGHT TO LET ME
COME OVER.
649
00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,101
NO.
650
00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:19,393
FINE, MAN, WHATEVER.
651
00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:21,124
I DON'T CARE.
I'LL GET MY OWN NUGGETS.
652
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,947
ALL RIGHT, NEW PLAN:
YOU GO EAT YOUR NUGGETS,
653
00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:24,588
I'LL GET MY HANDS
ON MY OWN NUGGETS——
654
00:25:24,858 --> 00:25:26,978
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HOW——
I'LL MEET YOU IN THE BIRD,
655
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:28,379
WE'LL GO UP TO THE CLIFFS
TONIGHT, SLEEP IN THE CAR,
656
00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:30,172
WAKE UP AT THE BUTT CRACK
OF DAWN, AND DO THIS THING.
657
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,197
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
658
00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:35,035
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
659
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:36,453
YEAH.
660
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:43,001
[dramatic music]
661
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:48,381
♪♪
662
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:52,719
OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.
663
00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:55,972
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
CAN I TRY THIS ON?
664
00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:58,034
YOU SURE THOSE ARE GONNA FIT
WITH YOUR THUNDER THIGHS?
665
00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:59,642
MOM, COME ON.
666
00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:02,228
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
667
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,520
HURRY UP, THOUGH.
668
00:26:05,982 --> 00:26:07,609
YO, CHECK IT OUT, SON.
669
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:09,569
THAT'S ROXIE.
670
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:11,488
SHE'S FREAKING HOT.
671
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:13,656
YEAH, BUT DON'T JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER.
672
00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:17,452
SHE'S GOT MAJOR F.P.
673
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:19,370
F.P. WHAT?
674
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:24,292
YEAH, MAJOR FAT POTENTIAL,
LIKE AS IN,
675
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:26,920
SHE'S GONNA BE PRETTY FAT
WHEN SHE GETS OLDER.
676
00:26:27,212 --> 00:26:28,212
MAN, HOW DO YOU KNOW?
677
00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:29,589
I SAW HER
WITH HER MOM EARLIER.
678
00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:31,341
TOTAL HEIFER.
679
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:34,344
[chuckles]
680
00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:36,346
MOO.
681
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:36,971
MUUMUU.
682
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:38,848
[both laughing]
683
00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:40,558
(both)
MOO.
684
00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:43,520
[gentle music]
685
00:26:43,812 --> 00:26:51,611
♪♪
686
00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:10,463
[scoffs]
YEAH, RIGHT.
687
00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:19,055
DID YOU LIKE THEM?
688
00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:23,768
[electronic chime]
689
00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:39,784
HERE YOU GO.
690
00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:42,370
OH, I LOVE THIS MOVIE.
691
00:27:42,662 --> 00:27:43,662
IT'S REALLY GREAT.
692
00:27:43,746 --> 00:27:44,746
ME TOO.
693
00:27:44,956 --> 00:27:46,100
I'VE SEEN IT,
LIKE, A BILLION TIMES,
694
00:27:46,124 --> 00:27:48,084
BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK
TO THE CLASSICS, YOU KNOW?
695
00:27:48,376 --> 00:27:51,212
YEAH, I ALWAYS LIKE THE WAY
HE TAMES PEGASUS.
696
00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:52,881
ME TOO.
697
00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:54,316
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU PAUSE IT ON
ONE OF THE SHOTS IN THAT SCENE,
698
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,193
YOU CAN SEE THAT
IT'S REALLY JUST A WHITE HORSE?
699
00:27:56,217 --> 00:27:57,302
REALLY?
700
00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:58,714
UH—HUH, BUT I STILL LOVE IT.
701
00:27:58,803 --> 00:27:59,804
YEAH,
702
00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:01,639
I LOVE
ALL THOSE FANTASY MOVIES.
703
00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:04,642
YOU LIKE FANTASY MOVIES?
LIKE WHAT?
704
00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:08,188
I DON'T KNOW,
LIKE LABYRINTH.
705
00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,315
WHAT ABOUT DRAGONSLAYER?
706
00:28:10,607 --> 00:28:11,649
LADYHAWKE.
707
00:28:11,941 --> 00:28:13,776
THE DARK CRYSTAL.
LEGEND.
708
00:28:14,068 --> 00:28:15,153
THE NEVERENDING STORY.
709
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,697
I THINK ONLY BOYS
LIKE THAT ONE.
710
00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:26,497
HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD WATCH
CLASH TOGETHER SOMETIME.
711
00:28:26,789 --> 00:28:29,500
YOU CAN SHOW ME THE SHOT
WITH THE HORSE.
712
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:30,793
OKAY.
713
00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:35,006
UM, I GUESS WE CAN DO THAT.
714
00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:40,678
'KAY, SEE YOU LATER.
715
00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:42,222
WAIT.
716
00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:44,349
DON'T YOU WANT TO GET
MY PHONE NUMBER?
717
00:28:44,641 --> 00:28:46,351
IT'S NOT THE NUMBER
TO VIDEO VERN'S?
718
00:28:47,602 --> 00:28:52,982
OH, YEAH.
719
00:28:53,274 --> 00:28:53,942
MY NAME'S SOPHIE.
YEAH, I CAN SEE.
720
00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:55,902
IT'S ON YOUR NAME TAG.
721
00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:57,194
OH.
722
00:28:57,362 --> 00:28:58,988
[chuckles]
MINE'S GAVIN.
723
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,450
I KNOW.
IT WAS ON YOUR CARD.
724
00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:05,828
ALL RIGHT,
SEE YOU LATER.
725
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:07,247
BYE.
726
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:10,875
[electronic chime]
727
00:29:18,466 --> 00:29:21,052
[phone ringing]
728
00:29:22,804 --> 00:29:23,388
HELLO.
729
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,097
(Gavin)
HEY,
730
00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:26,432
IS——IS THIS SOPHIA?
731
00:29:26,724 --> 00:29:27,725
DO YOU MEAN SOPHIE?
732
00:29:28,017 --> 00:29:30,520
UH, WRONG NUMBER.
733
00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:35,525
OKAY.
734
00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:46,327
[phone ringing]
735
00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:48,579
HELLO.
736
00:29:48,871 --> 00:29:49,455
HI, IS SOPHIE THERE?
737
00:29:49,747 --> 00:29:50,248
THIS IS SHE.
738
00:29:50,540 --> 00:29:52,041
OH, HEY, IT'S GAVIN,
739
00:29:52,333 --> 00:29:54,093
REMEMBER, FROM THE VIDEO STORE
THE OTHER DAY?
740
00:29:54,377 --> 00:29:56,379
DIDN'T YOU JUST CALL ME?
741
00:29:56,671 --> 00:29:58,965
NO. WHY?
742
00:29:59,257 --> 00:30:02,593
OH. NO REASON, I GUESS.
743
00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:04,205
WELL, HEY,
YOU KNOW HOW YOU WANTED
744
00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:05,888
TO WATCHCLASH OF THE TITANS
WITH ME?
745
00:30:06,180 --> 00:30:06,889
YEAH, WELL,
I ALREADY SAW IT.
746
00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:08,242
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED
747
00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:09,285
TO GO TO THE PARK
WITH ME INSTEAD.
748
00:30:09,309 --> 00:30:10,768
UH, SURE.
749
00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:12,186
OKAY, GREAT.
750
00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:13,021
WELL, BE SURE
TO BRING SOME ACTIVEWEAR.
751
00:30:13,313 --> 00:30:14,731
ACTIVEWEAR?
MM—HMM.
752
00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:16,691
[phone beeps]
753
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:23,031
HEY, GAVIN,
I RENTED THE CROW.
754
00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:24,550
DO YOU WANT TO WATCH IT
WITH ME?
755
00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:24,991
THERE'S THIS SCENE
WHERE THIS HUSSY
756
00:30:25,283 --> 00:30:27,035
GETS HER EYES CARVED OUT.
757
00:30:27,327 --> 00:30:29,412
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU.
758
00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:30,704
CAN I BORROW EXCALIBUR?
759
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,457
SURE. FOR WHAT?
760
00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:35,168
WELL, UM, I KIND OF
GOT A DATE
761
00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:36,460
WITH A GIRL TODAY.
762
00:30:36,544 --> 00:30:37,670
[chuckles]
A DATE?
763
00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:39,273
YEAH, IT'S WITH THE GIRL
FROM VIDEO VERN'S.
764
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:40,340
HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?
765
00:30:40,631 --> 00:30:41,674
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY.
766
00:30:41,966 --> 00:30:43,526
I WENT AND I RENTED
CLASH OF THE TITANS,
767
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:45,029
AND SHE WAS ALL,
"THAT'S MY FAVORITE MOVIE."
768
00:30:45,053 --> 00:30:47,221
AND I WAS LIKE, "SWEET."
769
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:48,657
AND SHE SAID, "WE SHOULD
WATCH IT TOGETHER SOMETIME."
770
00:30:48,681 --> 00:30:51,934
AND THEN I SAID,
"HEY, WANT TO GO ON A DATE?"
771
00:30:52,226 --> 00:30:53,287
SO YOU'D RATHER GO
SWORD FIGHTING WITH SOME GIRL
772
00:30:53,311 --> 00:30:55,229
THAN WATCH THE CROW
WITH ME?
773
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:56,647
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
774
00:30:56,939 --> 00:31:00,693
YEAH, THAT'S OKAY. WHATEVER.
IT'S YOUR LIFE.
775
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:02,195
GREAT, WELL, I BETTER GO.
776
00:31:02,487 --> 00:31:03,687
OH, HEY,
CAN I WATCH THIS HERE?
777
00:31:03,946 --> 00:31:04,989
YOU KNOW HOW GRANDMA LLOYD
778
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:06,881
WON'T LET ME WATCH RATED—Rs
IN THE HOUSE.
779
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:08,868
FINE WITH ME.
780
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,160
SEE YOU LATER.
781
00:31:11,829 --> 00:31:13,539
[melancholy instrumental music]
782
00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:22,632
♪♪
783
00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:24,693
YOU COULD START
IN ANY OF THOSE THREE STANCES,
784
00:31:24,717 --> 00:31:25,837
BUT THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE.
785
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:28,304
[imitates sound effects]
786
00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:30,532
BECAUSE IF SOMEONE COMES AT YOU,
YOU CAN PARRY THEIR ATTACK.
787
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:32,725
PARRY?
788
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:35,645
YEAH, IT MEANS "BLOCK"
IN MEDIEVAL TERMINOLOGY.
789
00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:38,106
LIKE, TRY AND POKE ME
IN THE CHEST WITH YOUR SWORD.
790
00:31:38,398 --> 00:31:39,440
REALLY?
YEAH, DO IT.
791
00:31:39,732 --> 00:31:40,900
YOU CAN'T HURT ME.
792
00:31:42,235 --> 00:31:43,945
[grunting]
YOU SEE THAT?
793
00:31:44,237 --> 00:31:46,823
THAT WAS A PARRY—THRUST COMBO.
794
00:31:47,115 --> 00:31:48,635
I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
FORCE OF HABIT.
795
00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:50,201
NOW YOU TRY.
796
00:31:50,493 --> 00:31:52,221
THIS TIME, I'LL THRUST AT YOU
AND YOU PARRY IT.
797
00:31:52,245 --> 00:31:55,164
OKAY.
YOU READY?
798
00:31:55,456 --> 00:31:56,124
[grunt and coughs]
799
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:58,876
OH, MY GOSH, I'M SORRY.
800
00:31:59,168 --> 00:32:00,168
ARE YOU OKAY?
801
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,547
OH, MY ADAM'S APPLE.
802
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,757
YEAH, I'M FINE.
803
00:32:05,049 --> 00:32:06,926
NOT BAD FOR A BEGINNER.
804
00:32:07,218 --> 00:32:09,637
LET'S GO FOR REAL THIS TIME.
805
00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:10,596
OKAY, I GUESS.
OKAY.
806
00:32:10,888 --> 00:32:14,016
DON'T FORGET TO BOW.
807
00:32:16,644 --> 00:32:19,439
WARRIORS, PREPARE
TO CROSS SWORDS.
808
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,524
[imitates sound effects]
809
00:32:21,816 --> 00:32:23,443
ATTACK.
810
00:32:23,734 --> 00:32:25,111
TIME——
811
00:32:25,403 --> 00:32:26,403
TIME—OUT.
812
00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:30,658
I WIN.
813
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:34,704
YOU PROBABLY REALIZE IT
BY NOW,
814
00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:37,036
BUT THE TEUTONIC KNIGHTS
DIDN'T REALLY CALL TIME—OUT
815
00:32:37,206 --> 00:32:39,126
WHEN THEY FELL OVER IN BATTLE
IN THE MIDDLE AGES.
816
00:32:40,418 --> 00:32:42,295
OH.
817
00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:43,856
I'LL REMEMBER THAT
FOR NEXT TIME.
818
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,424
HEY, YOU WEREN'T BAD
FOR YOUR FIRST TIME, THOUGH.
819
00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:48,259
I STILL TOTALLY ROASTED YOU.
820
00:32:48,551 --> 00:32:49,260
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?
821
00:32:49,552 --> 00:32:50,654
YOU NEED TO GET A BATTLE AX.
822
00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:51,888
I THINK YOU'LL WIELD IT WELL,
823
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:54,140
BECAUSE YOUR MIDSECTION'S BUILT
LIKE A TREE TRUNK.
824
00:32:56,934 --> 00:32:58,894
YOU KNOW, LIKE MANY
OF THE GREAT AND POWER DWARVES
825
00:32:59,103 --> 00:33:00,103
IN THE MIDDLE AGES.
826
00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:04,650
I'M SORRY; I'M AN IDIOT.
827
00:33:04,942 --> 00:33:08,070
I ALWAYS RELATE THINGS
TO STUPID LEGENDS AND STUFF.
828
00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:10,198
YOU'RE NOT REALLY A DWARF.
829
00:33:10,490 --> 00:33:11,532
THAT'S OKAY.
830
00:33:11,824 --> 00:33:13,224
I REALLY
SHOULD HAVE BLOCKED BETTER.
831
00:33:13,284 --> 00:33:14,494
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S TRUE TOO.
832
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:16,704
ALL RIGHT,
THIS TIME I'LL PLAY
833
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,015
AT THE LEVEL
OF A NEOPHYTE APPRENTICE
834
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:19,040
OF THE ROUND TABLE.
835
00:33:19,332 --> 00:33:20,708
OKAY.
836
00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:24,128
WARRIORS, PREPARE
TO CROSS SWORDS.
837
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:27,048
[imitates sound effects]
838
00:33:27,340 --> 00:33:28,340
[screams]
839
00:33:28,466 --> 00:33:31,052
[energetic music
over arcade machine]
840
00:33:31,344 --> 00:33:32,929
♪♪
841
00:33:33,221 --> 00:33:36,682
KISS MY AMAZON BUTT, GUILE.
842
00:33:36,974 --> 00:33:38,614
HEY, DO YOU WANT TO PLAY ME
AT AIR HOCKEY?
843
00:33:38,851 --> 00:33:40,496
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
BUT GIVE ME A LITTLE WHILE.
844
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,480
I USUALLY WIN
WHENEVER I'M BLANKA.
845
00:33:42,772 --> 00:33:44,607
IT'LL ONLY TAKE ME,
LIKE, 15 MORE MINUTES.
846
00:33:44,899 --> 00:33:46,585
OKAY, WELL, DO YOU CARE
IF GO PLAY SKI BALL,
847
00:33:46,609 --> 00:33:47,818
BECAUSE THIS
IS KIND OF BORING.
848
00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:50,238
NOT AT ALL.
849
00:33:50,530 --> 00:33:51,840
HERE'S SOME NICKELS
IN CASE YOU HAVE NONE.
850
00:33:51,864 --> 00:33:52,864
GO HAVE FUN.
851
00:33:52,949 --> 00:33:54,075
THANKS.
852
00:33:54,367 --> 00:33:56,536
[arcade game sound effects]
853
00:33:56,827 --> 00:34:00,414
[woman speaking indistinctly
over arcade machine]
854
00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:07,488
[girl scoffs]
DON'T TOUCH ME, PERV.
855
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,713
YOU LIKED IT, PIPPI.
856
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:11,050
[laughs]
857
00:34:14,637 --> 00:34:15,957
HEY, YOU SEE THAT GIRL
OVER THERE?
858
00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:16,597
WHAT?
859
00:34:16,889 --> 00:34:17,950
PLAYING SKI BALL BY HERSELF.
860
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:19,454
I BET I CAN GO UP TO HER
AND KISS HER,
861
00:34:19,517 --> 00:34:19,934
AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN STOP ME.
862
00:34:20,226 --> 00:34:21,978
BET SHE'D EVEN LIKE IT.
863
00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:23,771
YEAH, RIGHT, SHANE.
864
00:34:24,063 --> 00:34:25,063
WELL, I BET I COULD.
865
00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:26,566
I TOTALLY KNOW THE TYPE.
866
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,693
SHE'S HERE BY HERSELF,
SECRETLY WISHING
867
00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,105
SOME GUY LIKE ME WOULD COME,
868
00:34:30,194 --> 00:34:31,474
YOU KNOW,
SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET.
869
00:34:31,571 --> 00:34:33,489
YEAH? PROVE IT.
870
00:34:33,781 --> 00:34:34,991
WHAT, YOU BET ME?
YEAH.
871
00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,702
WELL, HOW MUCH?
872
00:34:37,994 --> 00:34:39,078
FOUR BUCKS, YO.
873
00:34:39,370 --> 00:34:40,764
OH, COME ON,
YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN THAT.
874
00:34:40,788 --> 00:34:42,373
NUH—UH,
THAT'S ALL I BROUGHT, MAN.
875
00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:44,685
FOUR BUCKS IS A LOT OF GAMES
AT THE NICKELCADE, BRO.
876
00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:47,878
FINE, I'LL DO IT
FOR FOUR BUCKS, CHEAPWAD.
877
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:50,380
[sniffs]
878
00:34:59,724 --> 00:35:00,909
HEY, GIRL, YOU EVER WONDER
WHAT IT'S LIKE
879
00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:02,435
TO KISS A GUY LIKE ME?
880
00:35:02,727 --> 00:35:04,520
WHAT?
881
00:35:04,812 --> 00:35:05,521
YO, CHECK IT OUT, KID.
882
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:07,773
YOUR DAD MUST HAVE BEEN
A BAKER,
883
00:35:08,065 --> 00:35:09,525
'CAUSE YOU GOT NICE BUNS.
884
00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:10,901
EXCUSE ME?
885
00:35:13,571 --> 00:35:14,822
HEY.
COME ON.
886
00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:16,657
STOP IT.
GIVE ME SOME OF THAT.
887
00:35:16,949 --> 00:35:18,326
NO.
COME ON,
I'LL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR.
888
00:35:18,618 --> 00:35:19,618
NO.
889
00:35:21,037 --> 00:35:23,164
[groans]
890
00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:24,540
I JUST MADE ME FOUR BUCKS.
891
00:35:24,832 --> 00:35:26,250
[whimpering]
892
00:35:26,542 --> 00:35:28,085
OH, DUDE,
ARE YOU OKAY?
893
00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:30,338
GET OFF ME.
894
00:35:31,172 --> 00:35:32,465
[machine chiming]
895
00:35:38,596 --> 00:35:39,596
HEY.
896
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,767
HEY.
897
00:35:43,059 --> 00:35:44,828
I CAME LOOKING FOR YOU
WHEN I COULDN'T FIND YOU
898
00:35:44,852 --> 00:35:46,228
AT THE NICKELCADE.
899
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:47,520
CAN I SIT DOWN?
900
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,236
SORRY, I'M JUST——
901
00:35:54,528 --> 00:35:56,465
I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED PLAYING
THAT STUPID GAME, YOU KNOW?
902
00:35:56,489 --> 00:35:58,783
I WAS——I WAS JUST
REALLY KICKING BUTT.
903
00:36:03,579 --> 00:36:05,831
FINE, I——I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
904
00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:08,292
YOU CAN SIT DOWN, YOU KNOW.
905
00:36:08,584 --> 00:36:10,503
WHEN I WENT LIKE THIS,
906
00:36:10,795 --> 00:36:12,588
I MEANT YOU COULD SIT DOWN
IF YOU WANT TO.
907
00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:21,180
WHY ARE PEOPLE
SO MEAN SOMETIMES?
908
00:36:21,472 --> 00:36:24,183
I DON'T KNOW. WHY?
WHAT HAPPENED?
909
00:36:24,475 --> 00:36:26,143
I DON'T REALLY WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
910
00:36:26,435 --> 00:36:29,605
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME NOTHING.
911
00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:32,084
ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T BECAUSE
I WAS REALLY STOMPING PEOPLE
912
00:36:32,108 --> 00:36:33,401
IN STREET FIGHTER II?
913
00:36:33,734 --> 00:36:34,734
YEAH.
914
00:36:36,821 --> 00:36:37,446
LOOK, IF SOMEONE
WAS MEAN TO YOU,
915
00:36:37,738 --> 00:36:39,365
THEY'RE JUST STUPID, OKAY?
916
00:36:39,657 --> 00:36:42,243
I MEAN, PEOPLE HAVE DONE
SOME PRETTY MEAN THINGS
917
00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:44,221
TO ME GROWING UP,
AND I'VE HAD TO IGNORE IT.
918
00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,664
LIKE WHAT?
919
00:36:46,956 --> 00:36:47,456
[sighs]
920
00:36:47,748 --> 00:36:50,251
LET'S SEE.
921
00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,583
ONE TIME, I WENT TO SCHOOL,
AND WHEN I GOT TO CLASS,
922
00:36:52,628 --> 00:36:54,088
IT SMELLED REALLY BAD,
923
00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:56,757
LIKE SOMEONE STEPPED
ON DOG CRAP OR SOMETHING.
924
00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:58,926
I MEAN, THE GIRL
SITTING NEXT TO ME
925
00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:01,512
SEEMED LIKE
SHE COULD SMELL IT TOO.
926
00:37:01,804 --> 00:37:02,513
I GUESS SHE THOUGHT
I CRAPPED MY PANTS,
927
00:37:02,805 --> 00:37:04,432
BECAUSE SHE WALKED OVER
TO THE SEAT
928
00:37:04,724 --> 00:37:05,850
BEHIND HER HOOCHIE FRIEND
929
00:37:06,142 --> 00:37:08,436
AND STARTED POINTING AT ME
AND BLABBING.
930
00:37:08,728 --> 00:37:10,604
IT TURNED OUT SOMEONE
STUCK A DIRTY DIAPER
931
00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:13,899
IN MY BACKPACK
WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING.
932
00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:15,568
[slowed, distorted speech]
933
00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:17,671
THE TEACHER MADE ME
THROW IT AWAY IN THE BATHROOM,
934
00:37:17,695 --> 00:37:19,297
SO I HAD TO WALK
HALFWAY THROUGH THE SCHOOL
935
00:37:19,321 --> 00:37:20,614
TO GET RID OF IT.
936
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:25,578
I GUESS HE DIDN'T WANT THE SMELL
COMING FROM HIS TRASH CAN.
937
00:37:25,870 --> 00:37:30,541
YEP, PEOPLE CALLED ME DIRTY D
FOR A WHILE AFTER THAT.
938
00:37:30,833 --> 00:37:33,127
I'M SORRY.
939
00:37:33,419 --> 00:37:36,380
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED?
940
00:37:36,672 --> 00:37:37,672
WELL, I BETTER GO.
941
00:37:37,882 --> 00:37:39,192
MY MOM THINKS
I'M AT THE PET STORE,
942
00:37:39,216 --> 00:37:40,760
LOOKING AT KITTENS.
943
00:37:41,051 --> 00:37:43,804
OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
944
00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:45,096
HEY, GAVIN.
945
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:47,057
YEAH?
946
00:37:47,349 --> 00:37:48,350
THANKS.
947
00:37:48,642 --> 00:37:53,606
SURE.
948
00:37:53,898 --> 00:37:56,567
[mellow music]
949
00:37:56,859 --> 00:38:04,742
♪♪
950
00:38:06,786 --> 00:38:08,120
(man)
YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, SOPHIE?
951
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:11,081
I MEAN, PEOPLE STOPPED
DOING THIS IN THE '80s.
952
00:38:11,373 --> 00:38:13,626
I MEAN, WHY DON'T YOU
DRINK SLIM—FAST SHAKE
953
00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:15,211
AND JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?
954
00:38:15,503 --> 00:38:17,063
DRASTIC TIMES
CALL FOR DRASTIC MEASURES,
955
00:38:17,213 --> 00:38:17,880
UNCLE MIKE.
956
00:38:18,172 --> 00:38:20,090
OKAY, BUT YOU CALL ME
RIGHT AWAY
957
00:38:20,382 --> 00:38:21,008
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
958
00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,009
OKAY.
959
00:38:22,301 --> 00:38:29,099
♪♪
960
00:38:34,688 --> 00:38:38,150
[doorbell rings]
961
00:38:40,069 --> 00:38:41,070
HEY.
962
00:38:41,362 --> 00:38:42,738
HEY, GAVIN.
963
00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:45,115
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MOUTH?
964
00:38:45,407 --> 00:38:48,369
I DECIDED TO GET PROACTIVE
ABOUT MY FIGURE
965
00:38:48,661 --> 00:38:50,746
AND I GOT MY JAW WIRED SHUT
TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT.
966
00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:53,165
BUT I THINK YOU LOOK GREAT
THE WAY YOU ARE.
967
00:38:53,457 --> 00:38:57,503
THANKS, BUT IT'S JUST KIND OF
SOMETHING I WANTED DO FOR ME.
968
00:38:57,795 --> 00:38:59,630
WELL, WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY.
969
00:38:59,922 --> 00:39:01,191
ANYWAY I JUST CAME BY
TO TELL YOU
970
00:39:01,215 --> 00:39:02,901
THAT WE'RE TAKING A HIKE
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS
971
00:39:02,925 --> 00:39:04,694
ON WEDNESDAY AT 10:00,
IF THAT'S COOL WITH YOU.
972
00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:06,488
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIKING.
973
00:39:06,512 --> 00:39:07,632
YEAH, YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
974
00:39:07,888 --> 00:39:09,974
WELL, GREAT.
975
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:12,244
WE'LL GET PROACTIVE
ON THE HILL TOGETHER THEN, HUH?
976
00:39:12,268 --> 00:39:14,311
OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
977
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:17,022
SEE YOU.
978
00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:34,456
MM—HMM, THANK YOU.
979
00:39:36,625 --> 00:39:37,625
[electronic chime]
980
00:39:37,668 --> 00:39:39,503
HEY.
981
00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:40,795
HI.
982
00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:42,882
WILL THIS BE ALL
FOR YOU TONIGHT?
YEAH.
983
00:39:43,173 --> 00:39:46,594
I JUST LOVE THIS MOVIE.
IT'S A TOTAL CLASSIC.
984
00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:48,262
AH, IT CERTAINLY IS.
985
00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:49,674
CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
986
00:39:49,722 --> 00:39:51,974
REALLY?
YEAH.
987
00:39:52,266 --> 00:39:53,546
OR IF YOU HAVE
A MEMBERSHIP CARD,
988
00:39:53,726 --> 00:39:54,184
WE CAN DO IT THAT WAY.
989
00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:56,770
OH, YEAH.
990
00:39:59,773 --> 00:40:01,400
THANK YOU.
991
00:40:01,692 --> 00:40:03,068
BUT THIS MOVIE
IS A TOTAL CLASSIC.
992
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,822
SURE.
THAT WILL BE A DOLLAR.
993
00:40:07,114 --> 00:40:11,702
YEAH, BUT DON'T YOU
TOTALLY LOVE THIS MOVIE?
994
00:40:11,994 --> 00:40:14,163
YEAH, IT'S GOOD.
995
00:40:14,455 --> 00:40:17,374
MAYBE WE COULD WATCH IT
TOGETHER SOMETIME.
996
00:40:17,666 --> 00:40:22,004
UH, THAT'S OKAY.
I'VE ALREADY SEEN IT.
997
00:40:22,296 --> 00:40:25,799
BUT THANKS ANYWAY.
998
00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:27,593
THAT'LL BE A DOLLAR.
999
00:40:27,885 --> 00:40:30,220
FORGET IT.
1000
00:40:32,932 --> 00:40:34,808
[electronic chime]
1001
00:40:38,938 --> 00:40:41,523
[electronic chime]
1002
00:40:46,028 --> 00:40:47,380
ALL RIGHT, GIRLIE,
EMPTY THE REGISTER NOW.
1003
00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:48,906
OH, MY GOSH,
PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.
1004
00:40:49,198 --> 00:40:51,116
ARE YOU D—D—D—DEAF, GIRL?
1005
00:40:51,408 --> 00:40:52,534
THE CASH NOW.
OKAY, OKAY.
1006
00:40:52,826 --> 00:40:55,829
I AIN'T MESSING AROUND.
THIS IS A GUN IN HERE.
1007
00:40:56,121 --> 00:40:57,957
IT AIN'T MY HAND,
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.
1008
00:40:58,248 --> 00:41:01,669
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOUR MOUTH?
1009
00:41:01,961 --> 00:41:04,672
I GOT MY JAW WIRED SHUT
TO LOSE WEIGHT.
1010
00:41:04,964 --> 00:41:07,341
WHAT?
1011
00:41:07,633 --> 00:41:09,301
YOU DON'T REALLY LOOK
LIKE YOU NEED TO.
1012
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,679
THANKS, I GUESS.
1013
00:41:11,971 --> 00:41:13,651
HEY, PIPE IT.
I AIN'T HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
1014
00:41:13,931 --> 00:41:14,431
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
1015
00:41:14,723 --> 00:41:16,600
I KNOW THE WAY THE FEMALE,
1016
00:41:16,892 --> 00:41:17,559
THE WAY THEY SEDUCE YOU,
1017
00:41:17,851 --> 00:41:18,185
TRYING TO BE FRIENDS
WITH YOU.
1018
00:41:18,477 --> 00:41:20,020
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
1019
00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:21,706
YOU'RE SITTING THERE
WITH A VALENTINES
1020
00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:22,898
THAT THEY DON'T WANT.
1021
00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:23,732
GIVE ME THE CASH.
OKAY, HERE.
1022
00:41:24,024 --> 00:41:26,902
THAT'S IT?
1023
00:41:27,194 --> 00:41:28,362
IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?
1024
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:31,657
PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME,
'CAUSE IT'S NOT A LOT.
1025
00:41:31,949 --> 00:41:32,949
WOULD YOU SHUT UP?
1026
00:41:33,117 --> 00:41:34,517
I WAS COUNTING
AND NOW I LOST COUNT.
1027
00:41:37,955 --> 00:41:40,290
SO 97 BUCKS.
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?
1028
00:41:40,582 --> 00:41:41,792
VIDEOS ONLY COST A DOLLAR,
1029
00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:42,668
AND WE DON'T GET
MUCH BUSINESS
1030
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,240
SINCE MEGAFLICKS
CAMES INTO TOWN.
1031
00:41:44,503 --> 00:41:46,714
I DIDN'T ASK ABOUT
YOUR STORE'S FINANCIAL PROBLEMS,
1032
00:41:47,006 --> 00:41:48,215
ALL RIGHT?
1033
00:41:48,507 --> 00:41:50,227
NOW, IS THERE A SAFE SOMEWHERE
OR SOMETHING?
1034
00:41:50,384 --> 00:41:51,468
SAFE?
1035
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:52,428
YEAH, A SAFE, YOU KNOW,
1036
00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:53,800
LIKE, WHERE THEY KEEP MONEY
1037
00:41:53,929 --> 00:41:55,097
AND PEARLS AND THINGS.
1038
00:41:55,389 --> 00:41:56,724
WHAT SAFE?
1039
00:41:57,016 --> 00:41:58,726
ALL RIGHT, I CAN'T DO THIS.
1040
00:41:59,018 --> 00:42:00,310
I'M TAKING THIS,
THOUGH, SUCKER.
1041
00:42:00,602 --> 00:42:02,396
[laughs]
1042
00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:05,899
[clanging]
1043
00:42:06,191 --> 00:42:07,568
SHUT UP.
1044
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:11,905
[electronic chime]
1045
00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:15,576
OH, MY GOSH.
1046
00:42:15,868 --> 00:42:17,870
HELLO, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED.
1047
00:42:18,162 --> 00:42:20,581
IT'S AT VIDEO VERN'S.
PLEASE HURRY.
1048
00:42:20,873 --> 00:42:22,583
NO, NO.
MY JAW'S JUST WIRED SHUT.
1049
00:42:22,875 --> 00:42:24,918
NO, TO LOSE WEIGHT.
1050
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,921
[energetic music]
1051
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:35,012
♪♪
1052
00:42:39,308 --> 00:42:40,934
OH, DANG IT.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
1053
00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:42,226
IT'S 9:47.
1054
00:42:42,436 --> 00:42:43,771
IT'S 9:47, MAN.
COME ON, WAKE UP.
1055
00:42:44,063 --> 00:42:44,688
LET'S GO.
WE GOT TO GO.
1056
00:42:44,980 --> 00:42:45,980
9:47.
1057
00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:48,400
ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF,
YOU STUPID CASIO.
1058
00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:49,692
COME ON, WAKE UP.
1059
00:42:49,777 --> 00:42:51,278
JUST WANT SOME MORE NUGGETS
AND SLEEP.
1060
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:53,363
NO MORE NUGGETS AND SLEEP.
COME ON.
1061
00:42:53,655 --> 00:42:54,782
GET OUT. LET'S GO.
1062
00:42:55,074 --> 00:42:55,407
STUPID, COKEHEAD.
1063
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:57,493
OW.
1064
00:42:57,785 --> 00:42:59,953
OW, ZERK,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
1065
00:43:00,245 --> 00:43:01,663
YES, I DID,
AND YOU KNOW I DID.
1066
00:43:01,955 --> 00:43:03,308
AND I DON'T LIKE HURTING YOU,
BUT SOMETIMES I'VE JUST GOT TO.
1067
00:43:03,332 --> 00:43:04,372
A BABY'S GOT TO BE SPANKED
1068
00:43:04,625 --> 00:43:06,794
WHEN HE WANTS HIS BOTTLE
AND HE CAN'T HAVE IT.
1069
00:43:07,086 --> 00:43:09,171
LET'S GO.
1070
00:43:09,463 --> 00:43:11,090
ALL RIGHT.
1071
00:43:11,381 --> 00:43:12,381
OH, OH.
1072
00:43:12,549 --> 00:43:13,634
OH, SHOOT.
1073
00:43:13,926 --> 00:43:15,928
DON'T NEED THAT ONE.
1074
00:43:16,220 --> 00:43:17,346
COME ON, LET'S GO.
1075
00:43:24,103 --> 00:43:25,455
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,
ME AND YOU,
1076
00:43:25,479 --> 00:43:27,356
WE BOTH WORK AT VIDEO STORES
AND STUFF——
1077
00:43:27,648 --> 00:43:29,733
MINE'S NOT ACTUALLY
A VIDEO STORE,
1078
00:43:30,025 --> 00:43:31,211
BUT WE BOTH CONTROL
THE EB AND FLOW
1079
00:43:31,235 --> 00:43:33,070
OF VIDEOS IN THE REGION,
1080
00:43:33,362 --> 00:43:35,442
MAKING SURE THE RIGHT VIDEOS
GET TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
1081
00:43:35,489 --> 00:43:37,908
(Sophie)
HMM, I GUESS
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
1082
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,245
(Gavin)
WELL, I DO.
1083
00:43:41,537 --> 00:43:44,623
SO WHY DO THEY CALL IT
DEER CLIFF FALLS?
1084
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:46,768
(Gavin)
WELL, INDIANS USED TO CHASE DEER
WITH BOWS AND ARROWS,
1085
00:43:46,792 --> 00:43:48,061
AND THE DEER WOULD GET
SO FRIGHTENED,
1086
00:43:48,085 --> 00:43:48,627
THEY'D RUN RIGHT OFF
THE BIG CLIFF UP HERE
1087
00:43:48,919 --> 00:43:50,796
TO THEIR DEATH.
1088
00:43:51,088 --> 00:43:51,713
(Maynard)
AND THEN THE INDIANS
WOULD CLIMB DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
1089
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:53,757
AND GET THE DEER
AND COOK IT.
1090
00:43:54,049 --> 00:43:56,609
(Hobie)
THAT'S WHY SO MANY PEOPLE FIND
SO MANY ARROWHEADS UP HERE.
1091
00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:57,635
WHOA!
1092
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,014
[together]
THE SASQUATCH.
1093
00:44:02,141 --> 00:44:03,600
WHO?
1094
00:44:03,892 --> 00:44:05,286
(Maynard)
HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD
OF BIGFOOT?
1095
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:07,771
IT LOOKS LIKE HE STOPPED
TO TAKE A BIG DUMP RIGHT THERE.
1096
00:44:08,063 --> 00:44:08,730
AT LEAST HE DOESN'T TAKE
SQUIRTY DUMPLINGS.
1097
00:44:09,022 --> 00:44:11,066
(Gavin)
SHUT UP, HOBIE.
1098
00:44:11,358 --> 00:44:12,377
COME ON, WE'VE GOT
TO TELL THE COPS.
1099
00:44:12,401 --> 00:44:13,443
(Hobie)
SCREW THE COPS.
1100
00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:14,838
LET'S TELL
THE CLACKANOMAH COUNTY HERALD.
1101
00:44:14,862 --> 00:44:16,613
WE'LL GET OUR PICTURES
IN THE PAPER.
1102
00:44:16,905 --> 00:44:17,966
(Gavin)
SCREW IT.
LET'S TELL BOTH OF THEM.
1103
00:44:17,990 --> 00:44:19,283
ALL RIGHT.
1104
00:44:19,575 --> 00:44:23,203
STUPID NERDS JUST FELL
RIGHT INTO OUR TRAP, MAN.
1105
00:44:23,495 --> 00:44:25,390
THEY'RE GONNA GO TELL THE COPS
AND THE NEWSPAPER.
1106
00:44:25,414 --> 00:44:26,414
NERDS.
YEAH.
1107
00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:27,665
THAT'S AWESOME.
1108
00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:28,250
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE,
1109
00:44:28,542 --> 00:44:29,126
MAKE THOSE PLASTER CASTS.
1110
00:44:29,418 --> 00:44:31,086
YOU STILL GO THE CAMERA, HUH?
1111
00:44:31,378 --> 00:44:32,838
HELLO, THERE, AND WELCOME
1112
00:44:33,130 --> 00:44:35,841
TO THE CLACKANOMAH COUNTY
SASQUATCH SITE.
1113
00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:38,552
I'M HERE WITH MY COLLEAGUE,
DR. JOKEM,
1114
00:44:38,844 --> 00:44:40,804
COLLECTING FOOTPRINTS
OF THE MYSTERIOUS BEAST
1115
00:44:41,096 --> 00:44:42,347
WHO YOU NERDS LOVE SO MUCH.
1116
00:44:42,639 --> 00:44:45,392
AND WE'RE RECORDING OURSELVES
WHILE WE WORK
1117
00:44:45,684 --> 00:44:47,394
SO THAT YOU,
THE BUYING PUBLIC,
1118
00:44:47,686 --> 00:44:50,355
KNOWS THAT WHEN Y'ALL
GET A PLASTER CAST FROM US,
1119
00:44:50,647 --> 00:44:53,150
YOU CAN SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT
KNOWING THAT IT'S TOTALLY LEGIT.
1120
00:44:53,442 --> 00:44:56,069
[energetic instrumental music]
1121
00:44:56,361 --> 00:45:03,243
♪♪
1122
00:45:06,413 --> 00:45:07,853
MAYNARD, WHAT GIVES?
IT'S TIME TO GO.
1123
00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:09,809
MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE I'M ON RESTRICTION.
1124
00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:10,833
THAT'S WHY.
1125
00:45:10,876 --> 00:45:12,920
WHAT HAPPENED?
1126
00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:16,673
DUDE, IT WAS AWESOME.
MY MOM WAS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.
1127
00:45:16,965 --> 00:45:18,091
(woman)
MAYNARD, SAY GOOD—BYE
1128
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:20,719
TO YOUR FRIENDS
AND GET BACK TO WORK.
1129
00:45:21,011 --> 00:45:23,222
SORRY, GUYS.
I'LL TELL YOU LATER.
1130
00:45:23,513 --> 00:45:25,283
MY MOM SAYS I CAN'T TALK
TO ANY OF MY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW,
1131
00:45:25,307 --> 00:45:27,309
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE.
1132
00:45:27,601 --> 00:45:28,060
HAVE FUN AT THE LASER BARN.
1133
00:45:28,352 --> 00:45:30,312
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PARENTS.
1134
00:45:30,604 --> 00:45:32,522
THANKS.
1135
00:45:32,814 --> 00:45:35,275
THIS SUCKS.
I MIGHT AS WELL JUST GO HOME.
1136
00:45:35,567 --> 00:45:37,110
WHAT?
THIS IS GONNA SUCK.
1137
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,713
I'M GONNA BE, LIKE,
A THIRD WHEEL.
1138
00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,030
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
SOPHIE LIKES YOU.
1139
00:45:40,322 --> 00:45:41,322
NO, SHE DOESN'T.
1140
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:42,846
YEAH, RIGHT.
SHE THINKS YOU'RE GREAT.
1141
00:45:43,116 --> 00:45:44,556
NO WAY;
SHE THINKS I'M A FAT LAMEWAD,
1142
00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:46,387
AND SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.
1143
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:47,412
IT'S YOU SHE LIKES.
1144
00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:48,765
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1145
00:45:48,789 --> 00:45:50,582
SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT.
1146
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:51,874
HOBIE, SHE LIKES YOU.
1147
00:45:52,042 --> 00:45:54,336
SHE THINKS YOU'RE GREAT,
AWESOME, MAN.
1148
00:45:54,628 --> 00:45:55,628
LET'S GO.
1149
00:45:55,754 --> 00:45:57,256
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
LET'S GO.
1150
00:45:57,547 --> 00:46:00,259
[whimsical music]
1151
00:46:00,550 --> 00:46:08,183
♪♪
1152
00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:23,809
CAN I ASK YOU
A PERSONAL QUESTION?
1153
00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:25,117
OKAY, I GUESS.
1154
00:46:25,409 --> 00:46:27,119
HOW MANY GIRLS
HAVE YOU KISSED?
1155
00:46:30,038 --> 00:46:32,207
I'M SORRY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.
1156
00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:33,709
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
1157
00:46:34,001 --> 00:46:36,503
NO, WELL, YOU SEE,
IT'S JUST THAT I'VE NEVER——
1158
00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:38,195
I NEVER REALLY KISSED
A GIRL BEFORE.
1159
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:39,463
IT'S OKAY.
I'M V.L. TOO.
1160
00:46:39,715 --> 00:46:42,259
V.L.?
1161
00:46:42,551 --> 00:46:44,928
IT MEANS I HAVE VIRGIN LIPS.
1162
00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:46,555
I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE.
1163
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:50,392
WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN KISSED
BY A BOY, YOU KNOW,
1164
00:46:50,684 --> 00:46:51,351
LIKE ROMANTICALLY.
1165
00:46:51,643 --> 00:46:52,811
OH.
1166
00:46:53,103 --> 00:46:55,480
IT'S NOT THAT
I DON'T WANT TO OR ANYTHING.
1167
00:46:55,772 --> 00:46:58,567
IT'S JUST I WANT IT TO BE
THE RIGHT TIME WHEN IT HAPPENS.
1168
00:46:58,859 --> 00:46:59,526
SO THAT'S WHAT
THEY CALL IT, V.L.?
1169
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:00,818
YEAH.
1170
00:47:01,069 --> 00:47:02,779
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
1171
00:47:03,071 --> 00:47:04,406
YOU CAN SAY
THAT HOBIE'S V.L. TOO.
1172
00:47:04,698 --> 00:47:06,074
CAN WE GO NOW, PLEASE?
1173
00:47:12,831 --> 00:47:14,583
COME ON, HOBIE.
1174
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:15,875
COME ON, GUYS.
HURRY UP.
1175
00:47:16,043 --> 00:47:18,086
REMEMBER, THREE TIMES
AND YOU'RE OUT.
1176
00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:19,504
OKAY.
1177
00:47:19,796 --> 00:47:21,476
JUST STAND BEHIND ME,
AND I'LL PROTECT YOU.
1178
00:47:21,548 --> 00:47:24,301
(Sophie)
SO WHO ARE WE PLAYING AGAINST?
1179
00:47:24,593 --> 00:47:26,571
I DON'T KNOW; WHOEVER'S
PUTTING ON THE OTHER UNIFORMS.
1180
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:29,681
SUIT UP.
LOCK AND LOAD.
YEP.
1181
00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:32,642
IT'S SHANE.
SO WHAT?
1182
00:47:32,934 --> 00:47:34,269
WE CAN TAKE THEM,
RIGHT, GAV?
1183
00:47:34,561 --> 00:47:36,396
YEAH, TOTALLY.
1184
00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:37,874
MIGHT AS WELL
START SHOOTING OURSELVES.
1185
00:47:37,898 --> 00:47:39,983
CHECK THIS OUT.
1186
00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:43,153
WE'RE PLAYING GAVIN
AND HIS FATTY FRIENDS.
1187
00:47:43,445 --> 00:47:45,155
SHUT UP, SHANE.
1188
00:47:45,447 --> 00:47:45,906
HEY, COULD WE PLAY SOMEONE
MORE CHALLENGING?
1189
00:47:46,198 --> 00:47:48,325
THESE GUYS SUCK
BIG TIME.
1190
00:47:48,617 --> 00:47:50,118
(Gavin)
NO, WE DON'T.
1191
00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:53,246
CAN YOU DORKS TAKE THE NERD HERD
BACK INTO THE BATTLE ARENA?
1192
00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:55,040
GET OUT OF MY FACE.
1193
00:47:57,626 --> 00:48:00,253
[electronic zapping]
1194
00:48:14,935 --> 00:48:16,228
[warbling tone]
1195
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:17,520
I'M HIT.
1196
00:48:17,604 --> 00:48:18,855
STAY HIDDEN BACK HERE.
1197
00:48:19,147 --> 00:48:20,982
ME AND HOBIE
WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM.
1198
00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:23,944
[guns zapping]
1199
00:48:24,236 --> 00:48:25,236
[warbling tone]
1200
00:48:25,445 --> 00:48:25,821
I'M HIT AGAIN.
1201
00:48:26,113 --> 00:48:27,113
JUST STAY DOWN.
1202
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,160
[warbling tone]
1203
00:48:33,203 --> 00:48:35,539
DANG IT. I'M OUT.
1204
00:48:35,831 --> 00:48:37,707
DON'T WORRY; HOBIE AND I
WILL GET THEM FOR YOU.
1205
00:48:37,999 --> 00:48:38,999
SHE SUCKS.
1206
00:48:39,126 --> 00:48:42,546
[percussive techno music]
1207
00:48:42,838 --> 00:48:44,047
♪♪
1208
00:48:44,339 --> 00:48:46,508
FINALLY, WE GOT RID
OF THAT DEADWEIGHT, YOU KNOW?
1209
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:47,800
WHAT?
1210
00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:50,262
[grunt]
1211
00:48:50,554 --> 00:48:51,012
WING ATTACK B?
1212
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:53,390
OKAY, I'LL BE THE ROVER.
1213
00:48:53,682 --> 00:48:54,808
FINE. READY?
1214
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:56,393
UH—HUH.
GO.
1215
00:48:56,685 --> 00:48:57,685
[guns zapping]
1216
00:48:57,769 --> 00:48:59,563
[warbling tone]
1217
00:48:59,855 --> 00:49:00,855
HEY, YOU.
1218
00:49:00,981 --> 00:49:01,314
[warbling tone]
1219
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:03,692
RETREAT.
1220
00:49:03,984 --> 00:49:04,984
RETREAT.
1221
00:49:05,235 --> 00:49:06,987
GO, YOU IDIOTS.
GET OUT.
1222
00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:14,911
[warbling tone]
1223
00:49:15,203 --> 00:49:15,912
[gun zapping]
1224
00:49:16,204 --> 00:49:17,456
[warbling tone]
OH!
1225
00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:18,747
[gun zapping]
1226
00:49:18,999 --> 00:49:20,625
[warbling tone]
1227
00:49:20,917 --> 00:49:23,670
OH, LAMENESS.
I'M OUT.
1228
00:49:24,838 --> 00:49:27,340
[guns zapping]
1229
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:28,632
YOU'RE OUT, YO.
1230
00:49:28,717 --> 00:49:29,843
YOU'RE OUT TOO, HOMEY.
1231
00:49:31,845 --> 00:49:33,805
[gun zapping]
1232
00:49:34,097 --> 00:49:35,974
COME ON OUT, GAVIN,
YOU WUSSMEISTER.
1233
00:49:36,266 --> 00:49:37,266
[guns zapping]
1234
00:49:37,517 --> 00:49:40,896
COME ON. COME ON, BIG BOY.
YOU CAN DO IT.
1235
00:49:41,188 --> 00:49:43,565
YOU COULD COME OUT
BEHIND THAT STUPID ROCK.
1236
00:49:43,857 --> 00:49:44,858
[laughs]
1237
00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:46,860
WHAT WOULD PERSEUS DO?
1238
00:49:47,152 --> 00:49:51,531
[electronic zapping]
1239
00:49:51,823 --> 00:49:53,074
COME ON OUT, WIENER BOY.
1240
00:49:53,366 --> 00:49:55,118
[laughing]
1241
00:50:00,123 --> 00:50:01,124
[warbling tone]
1242
00:50:01,416 --> 00:50:02,876
WHAT THE CRAP?
1243
00:50:03,168 --> 00:50:04,448
[man over loudspeaker]
GAME OVER.
1244
00:50:04,503 --> 00:50:05,503
YES, I WIN.
1245
00:50:05,545 --> 00:50:07,714
THIS GAME SUCKS ANYWAYS.
1246
00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:09,799
STILL A DORK.
1247
00:50:10,091 --> 00:50:11,092
PUNK.
1248
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:12,093
[electronic zapping]
1249
00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:13,637
HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
1250
00:50:13,929 --> 00:50:14,930
YEAH, I'M FINE.
1251
00:50:15,222 --> 00:50:16,902
HE'S JUST TICKED
THAT I TOTALLY RUSHED HIM.
1252
00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:17,641
THAT'S ALL.
1253
00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:19,013
YEAH, WE KICKED
THEIR BUTTS.
1254
00:50:19,142 --> 00:50:20,310
YEAH.
1255
00:50:20,602 --> 00:50:22,121
COME ON, GUYS,
LET'S GO SLIDE DOWN BIG PINK.
1256
00:50:22,145 --> 00:50:24,481
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH.
1257
00:50:24,773 --> 00:50:26,441
[quirky music]
1258
00:50:26,733 --> 00:50:28,860
♪♪
1259
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:31,947
[cheers and laughter]
1260
00:50:34,741 --> 00:50:36,621
(woman)
♪ I DON'T LIKE SNAILS
OR TOADS OR FROGS ♪
1261
00:50:36,785 --> 00:50:38,954
♪ OR STRANGE THINGS
LIVING UNDER LOGS, ♪
1262
00:50:39,246 --> 00:50:45,585
♪ BUT, MMM, I LOVE ONIONS. ♪
1263
00:50:45,877 --> 00:50:47,437
♪ I DON'T LIKE DANCIN'
WITH CRAZY TED. ♪
1264
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:50,966
♪ HE'S ALWAYS JUMPIN'
ON MY HEAD, ♪
1265
00:50:51,258 --> 00:50:57,055
♪ BUT, MMM, I LOVE ONIONS. ♪
1266
00:50:57,347 --> 00:50:59,808
♪ ONIONS, ONIONS,
LA, LA, LA. ♪
1267
00:51:00,100 --> 00:51:02,352
♪ ONIONS, ONIONS,
HA, HA, HA. ♪
1268
00:51:02,644 --> 00:51:04,938
♪ ROOT DOOT DOOT—DOOT,
DOOT DOOT—DOOT. ♪
1269
00:51:05,230 --> 00:51:07,232
♪♪
1270
00:51:07,524 --> 00:51:10,193
♪ ONIONS, ONIONS,
LA, LA, LA. ♪
1271
00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:13,863
♪ ONIONS, ONIONS,
HA, HA, HA. ♪
1272
00:51:14,155 --> 00:51:16,491
♪ ROOT DOOT DOOT—DOOT,
DOOT DOOT—DOOT. ♪
1273
00:51:16,783 --> 00:51:20,120
♪♪
1274
00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:20,912
(Gavin)
YEAH, WELL, NEXT TIME
I'LL BRING ENOUGH MONEY
1275
00:51:21,204 --> 00:51:22,372
SO WE CAN PLAY TWO GAMES.
1276
00:51:22,664 --> 00:51:25,417
WELL, DID YOU GUYS KNOW
THAT IN, LIKE, TEN YEARS
1277
00:51:25,709 --> 00:51:27,520
THEY'RE GONNA MAKE LASER TAG
INTO AN OLYMPIC SPORT?
1278
00:51:27,544 --> 00:51:29,337
YEAH?
YEAH, SWEET, HUH?
1279
00:51:34,801 --> 00:51:36,001
OH, NO,
MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME.
1280
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:45,061
SOPHIE, DON'T.
1281
00:51:45,353 --> 00:51:47,230
WAIT.
[grunts]
1282
00:51:47,522 --> 00:51:47,939
WHAT IS IT?
1283
00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:51,568
[Shane laughing]
1284
00:51:52,569 --> 00:51:56,740
I THINK WE'RE SCREWED.
1285
00:51:57,032 --> 00:51:59,784
[both grunting]
1286
00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:04,539
[paintball guns firing]
1287
00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:11,129
[groaning]
1288
00:52:11,421 --> 00:52:15,216
[sighs]
I THINK THEY'RE GONE.
1289
00:52:15,508 --> 00:52:16,508
YOU OKAY?
1290
00:52:16,551 --> 00:52:18,094
NO, MY MAN BOOB STINGS.
1291
00:52:18,386 --> 00:52:19,386
I THINK IT'S SWELLING UP,
1292
00:52:19,429 --> 00:52:20,972
AND I GOT SHOT TWICE
IN THE BOODNIKS.
1293
00:52:21,264 --> 00:52:22,264
LET ME SEE.
1294
00:52:22,515 --> 00:52:24,684
NO!
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ANYWAY.
1295
00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:26,645
I WISH I WOULDN'T
HAVE EVEN COME TONIGHT.
1296
00:52:26,936 --> 00:52:28,271
WHAT?
1297
00:52:28,563 --> 00:52:29,189
YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME STAY HOME
AND WATCH TV LIKE I WANTED.
1298
00:52:29,481 --> 00:52:32,150
NOW I GOT ALL SHOT UP
BECAUSE OF YOU.
1299
00:52:32,442 --> 00:52:33,461
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW
THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
1300
00:52:33,485 --> 00:52:38,073
SCREW YOU
AND YOUR FAT GIRLFRIEND TOO.
1301
00:52:38,365 --> 00:52:39,699
WAIT.
1302
00:52:39,991 --> 00:52:41,618
[quirky music]
1303
00:52:41,910 --> 00:52:44,663
[music slows]
1304
00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:50,960
♪♪
1305
00:52:51,252 --> 00:52:53,922
[quirky music]
1306
00:52:54,214 --> 00:52:57,008
♪♪
1307
00:52:58,927 --> 00:53:01,388
WHAT'S THE TOTAL?
1308
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:02,889
325 BUCKS.
1309
00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:04,700
(Zerk)
YES! HOW MANY BIDS
WE GOT SO FAR?
1310
00:53:04,724 --> 00:53:06,976
15.
1311
00:53:07,268 --> 00:53:09,312
DUDE, THIS IS AWESOME, MAN.
1312
00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:10,790
HEY, LANCE,
YOU COMING TO DINNER?
1313
00:53:10,814 --> 00:53:12,148
OKAY.
1314
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,402
OH, MR. JOKEM, COULD I SEE
THAT NEWSPAPER FOR A SEC?
1315
00:53:15,694 --> 00:53:16,861
YEAH, WHY NOT?
1316
00:53:17,153 --> 00:53:17,570
I ONLY PAY THE BILLS
AROUND HERE.
1317
00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:21,032
THANK YOU.
1318
00:53:21,324 --> 00:53:23,868
THIS IS CRAZY.
1319
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:25,704
DUDE, CAN YOU
TURN AROUND, PLEASE?
1320
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,417
CRAP!
1321
00:53:30,709 --> 00:53:33,503
"FAMED BIGFOOT RESEARCHER
TO COME TO CLACKANOMAH COUNTY.
1322
00:53:33,795 --> 00:53:35,547
"THE CLACKANOMAH
SASQUATCH SIGHTING
1323
00:53:35,839 --> 00:53:40,009
"HAS DRAWN SOME ATTENTION
FROM THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY,
1324
00:53:40,301 --> 00:53:42,095
AS DR. ARTIMUS SNODGRASS"——
1325
00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:43,847
AND THERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM.
1326
00:53:44,139 --> 00:53:46,933
"FAMED SASQUATCH RESEARCHER,
WILL BE ARRIVING TOMORROW
1327
00:53:47,225 --> 00:53:49,227
"TO VERIFY
IF THE FOOTPRINTS AND SCAT
1328
00:53:49,519 --> 00:53:51,104
"FOUND NEAR DEER CLIFF FALLS
1329
00:53:51,396 --> 00:53:53,815
ARE INDEED
FROM THE LEG—ENDARY BIGFOOT."
1330
00:53:54,107 --> 00:53:54,816
CRAP!
1331
00:53:55,108 --> 00:53:56,401
CRAP.
1332
00:53:56,693 --> 00:53:58,027
THIS SUCKS, DUDE.
1333
00:53:58,319 --> 00:53:59,380
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
ABOUT THIS GUY?
1334
00:53:59,404 --> 00:54:00,404
I DON'T KNOW, DUDE.
1335
00:54:00,447 --> 00:54:01,465
I'LL THINK
OF SOMETHING, THOUGH.
1336
00:54:01,489 --> 00:54:04,993
OKAY, I'M GONNA GO EAT NOW.
1337
00:54:05,285 --> 00:54:06,745
YOU CAN EITHER STAY HERE
IF YOU WANT,
1338
00:54:07,036 --> 00:54:08,872
OR I CAN COME BY LATER.
1339
00:54:09,164 --> 00:54:11,583
MY MOM SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT
ANY OF OUR FOOD ANYMORE.
1340
00:54:11,875 --> 00:54:12,875
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS HAVING?
1341
00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:14,919
HOT DOGS AND CHEETOS.
1342
00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:17,714
CRAP!
1343
00:54:18,006 --> 00:54:21,092
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
1344
00:54:21,384 --> 00:54:22,384
BYE.
1345
00:54:24,637 --> 00:54:26,765
(all)
AMEN.
1346
00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:30,226
HERE YOU GO, SQUIRTS.
1347
00:54:30,518 --> 00:54:34,439
HEY, GRANDMA LLOYD,
IS HOBIE THERE?
1348
00:54:34,731 --> 00:54:37,233
OH.
1349
00:54:37,525 --> 00:54:39,944
OKAY, WELL, THEN JUST TELL HIM
THAT I CALLED.
1350
00:54:40,236 --> 00:54:42,489
OKAY, BYE.
1351
00:54:42,781 --> 00:54:44,491
[man singing melancholy song
in Spanish]
1352
00:54:44,783 --> 00:54:53,333
♪♪
1353
00:55:01,132 --> 00:55:02,132
HEY, IS SOPHIE HERE?
1354
00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:03,383
SHE'S NOT HOME RIGHT NOW.
1355
00:55:03,426 --> 00:55:05,178
WELL, ACTUALLY,
COULD YOU, UM,
1356
00:55:05,470 --> 00:55:07,555
GIVE HER THIS FOR ME?
1357
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,432
OKAY.
1358
00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:11,619
IT'S A LIST OF ALL THE MOVIES
IN MY VIDEO COLLECTION.
1359
00:55:11,643 --> 00:55:14,062
TELL HER SHE CAN BORROW
ANY ONE SHE WANTS
1360
00:55:14,354 --> 00:55:15,354
FREE OF CHARGE.
1361
00:55:15,605 --> 00:55:16,605
OKAY.
1362
00:55:16,731 --> 00:55:17,731
AND ONE MORE THING.
1363
00:55:17,899 --> 00:55:19,526
TELL HER THAT THEY'RE WRONG.
1364
00:55:19,818 --> 00:55:21,319
SHE LOOKS GREAT
JUST THE WAY SHE IS.
1365
00:55:21,611 --> 00:55:22,695
WHO'S WRONG?
1366
00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:24,347
SHE'LL KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
1367
00:55:24,405 --> 00:55:28,284
OKAY, I'LL TELL HER.
GOOD—BYE.
1368
00:55:30,787 --> 00:55:32,956
SOPHIE, HONEY.
1369
00:55:33,248 --> 00:55:35,500
HE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
1370
00:56:04,237 --> 00:56:05,714
(Zerk)
THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED
IT WAS A DUDE.
1371
00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:07,407
[bike clanging]
1372
00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:09,909
WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?
1373
00:56:10,201 --> 00:56:12,620
(Shirts)
THAT KID JUST TOTALLY
WIPED OUT ON HIS BIKE.
1374
00:56:12,912 --> 00:56:15,498
THAT KID'S, LIKE,
AN EXTREME NERD.
1375
00:56:15,790 --> 00:56:17,166
(Shirts)
IT'S A WUSSY—LOOKING BIKE.
1376
00:56:17,458 --> 00:56:18,858
(Zerk)
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIS LEG?
1377
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,797
HEY, HOW'D YOU GET THAT WELT
ON YOUR LEG, DUDE?
1378
00:56:23,089 --> 00:56:24,507
SOME JERKS SHOT ME
WITH PAINTBALLS.
1379
00:56:24,799 --> 00:56:27,927
[both laughing]
1380
00:56:28,219 --> 00:56:28,720
THAT'S AWESOME.
1381
00:56:29,012 --> 00:56:30,763
YOU BEAT THEM UP?
1382
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:32,307
NO, THEY RAN AWAY.
1383
00:56:32,599 --> 00:56:34,034
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
GO TO THEIR HOUSE,
1384
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:36,120
WAIT FOR THEM TO COME OUT,
AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM?
1385
00:56:36,144 --> 00:56:36,811
DOY!
1386
00:56:37,103 --> 00:56:38,855
I DON'T KNOW.
1387
00:56:39,147 --> 00:56:41,190
I KNOW.
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A TOTAL WUSS.
1388
00:56:41,482 --> 00:56:42,722
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN
TO YOU GUYS?
1389
00:56:42,775 --> 00:56:44,694
I MEAN, THAT GUY
DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A SHIRT ON.
1390
00:56:44,986 --> 00:56:46,506
YEAH, WELL, I'M RUBBER
AND YOU'RE GLUE.
1391
00:56:46,571 --> 00:56:48,948
WHATEVER SAYS... BOUNCES.
1392
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:51,367
YEAH, YEAH, I GOT THIS, DUDE.
DON'T EVEN TRY.
1393
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:53,786
YOU KNOW WHAT
YOUR PROBLEM IS, GAVIN?
1394
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:56,080
YOU'RE ALL TALK, MAN.
1395
00:56:56,372 --> 00:56:57,391
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
1396
00:56:57,415 --> 00:56:58,415
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
1397
00:56:58,499 --> 00:56:59,667
YOU GOT STAND UP
FOR YOURSELF.
1398
00:56:59,959 --> 00:57:01,628
THIS ISN'T CANADA,
MY FRIEND, ALL RIGHT?
1399
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:03,046
THIS IS AMERICA.
1400
00:57:03,338 --> 00:57:05,882
IN THIS COUNTRY, SOME KIDS SHOOT
YOU WITH PAINTBALLS,
1401
00:57:06,174 --> 00:57:08,468
YOU GOT A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT
TO KNOCK THEM OUT.
1402
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,887
AND IF YOU DON'T EXERCISE
THAT BASIC FREEDOM,
1403
00:57:11,179 --> 00:57:12,819
YOU'RE GONNA GROW UP
TO BE A TOTAL Q HOLE.
1404
00:57:13,014 --> 00:57:14,807
WHAT'S A Q HOLE?
1405
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:17,936
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK
IN THE MIRROR?
1406
00:57:18,227 --> 00:57:19,227
YOU HEAR THAT?
UP TOP.
1407
00:57:19,395 --> 00:57:20,688
OH——OH.
1408
00:57:20,980 --> 00:57:22,273
DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, MAN?
1409
00:57:22,565 --> 00:57:23,965
WHY YOU GOT TO BE HOLDING
A CORN DOG
1410
00:57:24,025 --> 00:57:25,652
WHEN I GO FOR A HIGH FIVE?
1411
00:57:25,944 --> 00:57:27,104
I'M MAKING A POINT
TO THE KID.
1412
00:57:27,362 --> 00:57:29,489
NOW I'M THE ONE THAT LOOKS
LIKE A TOTAL Q HOLE.
1413
00:57:29,781 --> 00:57:31,842
(Shirts)
IT WAS REALLY HOT,
AND I WAS LETTING IT AIR OUT.
1414
00:57:31,866 --> 00:57:33,117
YOU GUYS ARE JUST STUPID.
1415
00:57:33,409 --> 00:57:35,453
YOU KNOW THERE'S——
CRAP OFF.
1416
00:57:35,745 --> 00:57:38,247
[cheers and applause]
1417
00:57:43,294 --> 00:57:45,296
AH, THANK YOU.
1418
00:57:45,588 --> 00:57:47,799
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
1419
00:57:48,091 --> 00:57:48,800
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
1420
00:57:49,092 --> 00:57:52,095
I WAS HOT ON THE HEELS
1421
00:57:52,387 --> 00:57:57,433
OF THE CHUPACABRA
IN CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO.
1422
00:57:57,725 --> 00:58:00,937
BUT WHEN I WAS CONTACTED
ABOUT YOU SASQUATCH SIGHTING,
1423
00:58:01,229 --> 00:58:03,398
I CAME STRAIGHTAWAY.
1424
00:58:03,690 --> 00:58:08,528
I HAVE INVESTIGATED
MANY SASQUATCH SIGHTINGS
1425
00:58:08,820 --> 00:58:10,321
AND EXPOSED
MY SHARE OF HOAXES.
1426
00:58:10,613 --> 00:58:11,813
DUDE, BRING IT IN.
BRING IT IN.
1427
00:58:11,864 --> 00:58:13,175
DO YOU REALIZE
IF HE SAYS IT'S A HOAX,
1428
00:58:13,199 --> 00:58:14,367
OUR SALES ARE BONED.
1429
00:58:14,659 --> 00:58:16,539
WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST DESTROY THE EVIDENCE.
1430
00:58:16,619 --> 00:58:19,163
IT'S BEEN
IN THE NEWSPAPER ALREADY.
1431
00:58:19,455 --> 00:58:20,575
SHIRTS,
YOU'RE A DANG GENIUS.
1432
00:58:20,707 --> 00:58:22,542
COME ON, LET'S GO SPREAD
THE BIRD'S WINGS
1433
00:58:22,834 --> 00:58:23,834
AND FLY OUT OF HERE.
1434
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:24,627
CAW!
1435
00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,672
[rock music]
1436
00:58:27,964 --> 00:58:35,054
♪♪
1437
00:58:35,346 --> 00:58:37,140
[tires squealing]
1438
00:58:48,568 --> 00:58:51,362
[man singing rock]
1439
00:58:51,654 --> 00:58:59,328
♪♪
1440
00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:02,790
♪ I NEED TO GO OUTER SPACE
FOR A WHILE. ♪
1441
00:59:03,082 --> 00:59:05,126
♪ LET'S TAKE A CHOSEN FEW. ♪
1442
00:59:05,418 --> 00:59:05,918
♪ WE'LL HAVE
A REAL GOOD VIEW, ♪
1443
00:59:06,210 --> 00:59:12,633
♪ 1 MILLION MILES UP—— ♪
1444
00:59:12,925 --> 00:59:14,343
♪ ESCAPE FROM EARTH. ♪
1445
00:59:14,635 --> 00:59:16,262
♪♪
1446
00:59:16,554 --> 00:59:19,932
♪ ESCAPE FROM EARTH. ♪
1447
00:59:20,224 --> 00:59:22,685
♪ ESCAPE FROM EARTH. ♪
1448
00:59:22,977 --> 00:59:28,316
♪♪
1449
00:59:30,026 --> 00:59:31,026
WHAT THE...
1450
00:59:31,986 --> 00:59:35,490
[slow electronic music]
1451
00:59:35,782 --> 00:59:42,163
♪♪
1452
00:59:42,455 --> 00:59:43,581
(Hobie)
DEAR DIARY,
1453
00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:44,874
WHAT DO YOU DO
1454
00:59:45,166 --> 00:59:46,486
WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND
BETRAYS YOU?
1455
00:59:46,626 --> 00:59:50,046
I KNOW; THERE'S NO EASY ANSWER,
IS THERE?
1456
00:59:50,338 --> 00:59:52,298
I GUESS
IT ALL STARTED ONE DAY
1457
00:59:52,590 --> 00:59:56,094
WHEN HE FIRST TOOK HER
ON A DATE.
1458
00:59:56,385 --> 00:59:59,889
SHE WAS
A TERRIBLE SWORDSWOMAN,
1459
01:00:00,181 --> 01:00:03,893
NOT EVEN WORTHY
OF WIELDING EXCALIBUR.
1460
01:00:04,185 --> 01:00:05,269
BUT I MUST ADMIT,
1461
01:00:05,561 --> 01:00:08,523
THERE WERE THINGS
I ADMIRED ABOUT HER MYSELF.
1462
01:00:08,815 --> 01:00:10,441
IT WAS AS THOUGH
SHE HAD AN INNER POWER
1463
01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,611
TO KICK BUTT IN A WAY
I'D NEVER SEEN IN ANY GIRL
1464
01:00:13,903 --> 01:00:14,903
SINCE WONDER WOMAN.
1465
01:00:15,029 --> 01:00:15,571
[groaning]
1466
01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:17,573
[chuckles]
1467
01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:19,200
GET OF ME!
1468
01:00:19,492 --> 01:00:21,172
(Hobie)
HIS NOODIES
MUST HAVE HURT FOR DAYS.
1469
01:00:21,327 --> 01:00:22,829
[machine chiming]
1470
01:00:36,217 --> 01:00:38,469
YEAH.
1471
01:00:38,761 --> 01:00:40,763
BUT I GUESS THAT ADMIRATION
WASN'T MUTUAL.
1472
01:00:41,055 --> 01:00:41,764
MAYBE WE COULD WATCH IT
TOGETHER SOMETIME.
1473
01:00:42,056 --> 01:00:43,808
I DON'T THINK SO.
1474
01:00:44,100 --> 01:00:44,559
I DON'T LIKE
SPENDING MY TIME
1475
01:00:44,851 --> 01:00:45,869
WITH DISGUSTING FAT BODIES.
1476
01:00:45,893 --> 01:00:48,020
WHY DO YOU THINK
I GOT MY JAW WIRED SHUT?
1477
01:00:48,312 --> 01:00:50,064
SO I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO BE ONE ANYMORE
1478
01:00:50,356 --> 01:00:52,692
AND BE DOOMED TO LIVE A LIFE
WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
1479
01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:54,068
THAT WILL BE A DOLLAR.
1480
01:00:56,904 --> 01:00:58,799
(Hobie)
BUT THE MAIN CHANGE
WAS IN MY BEST FRIEND:
1481
01:00:58,823 --> 01:01:01,951
OUR FRIENDSHIP BECAME SECONDARY
TO HIS SELFISH EGOISM.
1482
01:01:02,243 --> 01:01:05,454
SO WHICH ONE OF YOU KIDS
FOUND THIS?
1483
01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:06,789
IT WAS ME.
1484
01:01:07,081 --> 01:01:09,000
OH, GAVIN,
YOU'RE MY HERO.
1485
01:01:09,292 --> 01:01:11,294
GO FOR THE GOLD, GAVIN.
FAT PEOPLE SUCK.
1486
01:01:11,586 --> 01:01:13,346
(Hobie)
CLAIMING HE FOUND
THE SASQUATCH TRACKS
1487
01:01:13,421 --> 01:01:15,840
WHEN I WAS THE ONE
WHO FELL ON THEM.
1488
01:01:16,132 --> 01:01:17,258
AND I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER
1489
01:01:17,550 --> 01:01:20,928
THAT I RECOGNIZED IT
AS THE SASQUATCH FIRST.
1490
01:01:21,220 --> 01:01:24,098
[together]
THE SASQUATCH.
1491
01:01:24,390 --> 01:01:25,808
(Hobie)
HE WAS ON "SSS"
1492
01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:27,977
WHEN I WAS
ALREADY ON "ASQUATCH."
1493
01:01:28,269 --> 01:01:31,314
[in slow motion]
THE SASQUATCH.
1494
01:01:31,606 --> 01:01:32,886
(Hobie)
HE DIDN'T EVEN MENTION ME
1495
01:01:33,024 --> 01:01:34,859
WHEN THE JOURNALIST
ASKED ME ABOUT THE TRACKS.
1496
01:01:35,151 --> 01:01:39,113
HE JUST KEPT SAYING,
"WE, WE, WE, WE."
1497
01:01:39,405 --> 01:01:40,799
SO JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED
IN YOUR OWN WORDS.
1498
01:01:40,823 --> 01:01:43,534
WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
PRETTY CLUMSY WALKING AROUND.
1499
01:01:43,826 --> 01:01:45,304
WE THOUGHT THAT A TRIP
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS
1500
01:01:45,328 --> 01:01:47,008
WOULD BE A GREAT WAY
TO SPEND A SUMMER DAY.
1501
01:01:47,121 --> 01:01:49,624
AND ON THE WAY,
WE RAN RIGHT INTO THESE TRACKS,
1502
01:01:49,916 --> 01:01:51,250
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, HOBIE?
1503
01:01:51,542 --> 01:01:53,478
(Hobie)
AND THAT WASN'T
THE ONLY TIME HE INTERRUPTED ME.
1504
01:01:53,502 --> 01:01:54,582
OFFICER,
WE'D LIKE TO FILE——
1505
01:01:54,837 --> 01:01:56,637
WE WERE ON THE TRAIL
TO DEER CLIFF FALLS TODAY
1506
01:01:56,714 --> 01:01:58,257
AND WE FOUND
A NUMBER OF LARGE TRACKS.
1507
01:01:58,549 --> 01:02:00,259
WE THINK IT'S BIGFOOT.
1508
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,029
(Hobie)
I'M GET SO TIRED
OF PEOPLE ALWAYS INTERUP——
1509
01:02:02,053 --> 01:02:04,096
(woman)
HOBIE.
1510
01:02:04,388 --> 01:02:05,556
YES, GRANDMA?
1511
01:02:05,848 --> 01:02:06,909
MASH IS ON.
YOU WANT TO WATCH?
1512
01:02:06,933 --> 01:02:09,393
NO THANKS, GRANDMA.
1513
01:02:09,685 --> 01:02:11,229
DOESN'T THAT OLD BAG REALIZE
1514
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,773
THAT NO ONE MY AGE
LIKES MASH?
1515
01:02:14,065 --> 01:02:15,524
ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I?
1516
01:02:15,816 --> 01:02:17,256
OH, YEAH, HOW GAVIN
IS A NO—GOOD JERK
1517
01:02:17,485 --> 01:02:19,403
AND STEALS ALL THE GLORY,
1518
01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:21,855
THE WAY HE KEPT ANSWERING
ALL THE REPORTER'S QUESTIONS.
1519
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:26,452
AND I NEVER EVEN GOT INVITED
TO BE ON TV.
1520
01:02:26,744 --> 01:02:27,161
[sighs]
1521
01:02:27,453 --> 01:02:30,373
WHAT SHOULD I DO, DIARY?
1522
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:33,209
GUESS THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO:
1523
01:02:33,501 --> 01:02:37,296
GO OUT IN A MASSIVE BLOODBATH
OF SOUR GRAPES.
1524
01:02:41,467 --> 01:02:44,220
[rock music]
1525
01:02:44,512 --> 01:02:52,061
♪♪
1526
01:02:54,939 --> 01:02:56,357
[screams]
1527
01:02:56,649 --> 01:03:04,282
♪♪
1528
01:03:13,749 --> 01:03:17,253
ET TU, BRUTE?
1529
01:03:28,055 --> 01:03:29,055
HEY.
1530
01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:32,059
[sighs]
HEY.
1531
01:03:32,351 --> 01:03:34,020
DR. SNODGRASS IS COMING SOON.
YOU COMING?
1532
01:03:34,312 --> 01:03:36,230
IT'S OKAY.
I'M KIND OF BUSY.
1533
01:03:36,522 --> 01:03:38,190
WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO GO ALONE.
1534
01:03:38,482 --> 01:03:41,569
WHY DON'T YOU GO BUG
YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
1535
01:03:41,861 --> 01:03:45,239
WELL, SHE'S NOT EXACTLY TALKING
TO ME RIGHT NOW.
1536
01:03:45,531 --> 01:03:48,534
WHAT ABOUT MAYNARD?
1537
01:03:48,826 --> 01:03:50,066
MAYNARD'S STILL ON RESTRICTION,
1538
01:03:50,244 --> 01:03:51,972
BUT HE SAYS HE'S GONNA
TRY AND MAKE IT, THOUGH.
1539
01:03:51,996 --> 01:03:53,473
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT ANYWAY?
1540
01:03:53,497 --> 01:03:56,959
MY GRANDMA NEEDS MY HELP
WITH SOMETHING LATER.
1541
01:03:57,251 --> 01:03:58,251
DOING WHAT?
1542
01:03:58,502 --> 01:04:02,048
SHE'S——SHE'S MAKING
APPLE DUMPLINGS.
1543
01:04:02,340 --> 01:04:03,340
IT'S MY FAVORITE.
1544
01:04:03,549 --> 01:04:05,718
WHAT?
HOBIE, YOUR GRANDMA'S DIABETIC.
1545
01:04:06,010 --> 01:04:08,637
LOOK, MAYBE I JUST DON'T FEEL
LIKE GOING, OKAY?
1546
01:04:08,929 --> 01:04:10,282
WELL, DON'T YOU CARE
ABOUT GETTING THE VIDEO BACK?
1547
01:04:10,306 --> 01:04:11,015
WHY?
1548
01:04:11,307 --> 01:04:13,142
IT'S NOT MY VIDEO.
1549
01:04:13,434 --> 01:04:14,554
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU LATELY?
1550
01:04:14,727 --> 01:04:15,436
I MEAN, THAT'S
YOUR FAVORITE VIDEO OF MINE.
1551
01:04:15,728 --> 01:04:17,855
LOOK, I JUST DON'T FEEL
LIKE GOING
1552
01:04:18,147 --> 01:04:20,107
AND WATCHING GAVIN
BECOME THE BIG HERO
1553
01:04:20,399 --> 01:04:22,085
WHEN WE ALL KNOW WE FOUND
THOSE FOOTPRINTS TOGETHER.
1554
01:04:22,109 --> 01:04:24,195
SO SCREW OFF.
1555
01:04:24,487 --> 01:04:25,967
PLUS, YOU PROBABLY
WON'T FIND ANYTHING
1556
01:04:26,197 --> 01:04:28,866
WHEN YOU GET THERE ANYWAY.
1557
01:04:36,791 --> 01:04:39,585
[energetic music]
1558
01:04:39,877 --> 01:04:44,006
♪♪
1559
01:04:44,298 --> 01:04:48,052
ADMITTEDLY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN
A SASQUATCH,
1560
01:04:48,344 --> 01:04:53,933
BUT I AM 98% CERTAIN
THAT THEY DO EXIST.
1561
01:04:54,225 --> 01:04:58,229
AND WHEN I SEE ONE,
I WILL MAKE THE OTHER 2%.
1562
01:04:58,521 --> 01:05:03,859
SO TODAY WHEN I EXAMINE
THE TRACKS,
1563
01:05:04,151 --> 01:05:07,029
I WILL BE ABLE TO TELL YOU
WITHOUT A DOUBT
1564
01:05:07,321 --> 01:05:11,409
WHETHER YOU HAVE A TRUE FIND
OR INDEED A HOAX.
1565
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:12,868
TAKE ME TO THE SITE.
1566
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,328
OKAY, CLEAR IT OPEN.
1567
01:05:14,620 --> 01:05:16,831
(woman)
MR. SNODGRASS.
MR. SNODGRASS.
1568
01:05:17,123 --> 01:05:18,243
IS IT TRUE
THAT THE SASQUATCH
1569
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:20,709
IS AN EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
CREATURE TO THIS TOWN?
1570
01:05:21,001 --> 01:05:22,921
(Snodgrass)
I DON'T KNOW
THAT WE HAVE A SASQUATCH.
1571
01:05:23,045 --> 01:05:24,398
WE WILL INVESTIGATE;
I WILL FIND OUT
1572
01:05:24,422 --> 01:05:25,089
AND LET YOU KNOW THEN.
1573
01:05:25,381 --> 01:05:26,090
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1574
01:05:26,382 --> 01:05:27,758
[laughs]
FLAT TIRE.
1575
01:05:28,050 --> 01:05:29,218
HA, HOPE YOU'RE READY
1576
01:05:29,510 --> 01:05:31,178
TO LOSE YOUR VIDEO COLLECTION,
BUTT WIPE.
1577
01:05:31,470 --> 01:05:32,470
SHUT UP, SHANE.
1578
01:05:32,638 --> 01:05:33,097
YOU BETTER NOT
HAVE MESSED UP MY VIDEO.
1579
01:05:33,389 --> 01:05:35,933
DON'T YOU MEAN MY VIDEO?
1580
01:05:36,225 --> 01:05:37,518
SEE YOU UP THERE, DORK.
1581
01:05:37,810 --> 01:05:38,810
(boy)
LATER, BONER.
1582
01:05:39,728 --> 01:05:43,232
[barks]
1583
01:05:43,524 --> 01:05:44,524
[laughter]
1584
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:49,613
WHERE'S HOBIE?
1585
01:05:50,406 --> 01:05:51,406
SOPHIE?
1586
01:05:51,449 --> 01:05:54,201
AND MAYNARD TOO.
1587
01:05:54,493 --> 01:05:56,012
OH, I'M SO GLAD
YOU GUYS COULD MAKE IT.
1588
01:05:56,036 --> 01:05:59,206
BUT, UM, I DON'T THINK
HOBIE'S GONNA COME, THOUGH.
1589
01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:00,666
WHY NOT?
1590
01:06:00,958 --> 01:06:03,043
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S MAD ABOUT SOMETHING.
1591
01:06:03,335 --> 01:06:04,335
COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GO.
1592
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:05,463
EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY LEFT.
1593
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:08,090
COME ON, GUYS.
1594
01:06:08,382 --> 01:06:10,902
SO WHAT'D YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS
TO GET OFF RESTRICTION, MAYNARD?
1595
01:06:10,926 --> 01:06:12,779
THAT I WAS GONNA START
DOING DRUGS OR KILL MYSELF
1596
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:13,803
IF THEY DIDN'T LET ME GO.
1597
01:06:13,888 --> 01:06:15,055
OH, SWEET, MAN.
YEAH.
1598
01:06:15,347 --> 01:06:16,867
THAT'S COOL.
I'LL HAVE TO TRY THAT ONE.
1599
01:06:17,016 --> 01:06:18,869
AND NOW I GET TO MISS SCHOOL
TWICE A WEEK NEXT YEAR
1600
01:06:18,893 --> 01:06:19,560
TO VISIT A THERAPIST.
1601
01:06:19,852 --> 01:06:21,479
AWESOME.
YEAH.
1602
01:06:21,770 --> 01:06:24,440
[dramatic music]
1603
01:06:24,732 --> 01:06:32,531
♪♪
1604
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:19,787
(Chillcut)
I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE
BROKE THROUGH MY YELLOW TAPE.
1605
01:07:20,079 --> 01:07:22,498
NO, NO, NO,
OFFICER CHIN STRAP.
1606
01:07:22,790 --> 01:07:23,499
IT'S CHILLCUT.
1607
01:07:23,791 --> 01:07:28,671
YES, YES.
SHH, SHH, SHH.
1608
01:07:28,963 --> 01:07:30,363
I'VE SEEN
THIS SORT OF THING BEFORE.
1609
01:07:30,548 --> 01:07:36,554
CLEARLY, THE SASQUATCH
DETECTED MY PRESENCE
1610
01:07:36,845 --> 01:07:38,722
AND RETURNED
TO DESTROY ANY EVIDENCE
1611
01:07:39,014 --> 01:07:40,054
HE WAS HERE TO BEGIN WITH.
1612
01:07:40,140 --> 01:07:41,340
(Maynard)
EVEN THE POO IS GONE.
1613
01:07:41,475 --> 01:07:42,518
YES!
1614
01:07:42,810 --> 01:07:46,897
HE PROBABLY ATE IT
TO CONSERVE HIS MYTHIC POWERS.
1615
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:47,898
[man sneezes]
1616
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:50,150
EVERYBODY, FREEZE!
1617
01:07:50,442 --> 01:07:52,611
NOBODY MOVE!
1618
01:07:52,903 --> 01:07:59,034
SASQUATCH, IF THAT'S YOU,
YOU CAN COME ON OUT.
1619
01:07:59,326 --> 01:08:00,786
WE'LL PROMISE
WE WON'T HURT YOU.
1620
01:08:01,078 --> 01:08:02,871
(Zerk)
HEY, DON'T SHOOT, MAN.
1621
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:03,872
I'M UNARMED.
1622
01:08:04,164 --> 01:08:05,249
HE CAN TALK?
1623
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:08,210
IF THE SASQUATCH CAN TALK,
MY THEORIES WERE CORRECT.
1624
01:08:08,502 --> 01:08:09,670
HE IS INTELLIGENT.
1625
01:08:09,962 --> 01:08:12,256
NO, WE——WE WON'T SHOOT.
WE HURT YOU.
1626
01:08:12,548 --> 01:08:14,228
YOU JUST COME ON OUT
FROM BEHIND THAT TREE.
1627
01:08:14,258 --> 01:08:15,342
C—COME ON OUT.
1628
01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:21,724
ZERK.
1629
01:08:22,016 --> 01:08:23,392
WHAT ARE——
WHAT ARE YOU DOING——
1630
01:08:23,684 --> 01:08:25,311
(Zerk)
WHAT'S EVERYONE
DOING HERE, MAN?
1631
01:08:25,603 --> 01:08:26,979
WAIT A MINUTE.
1632
01:08:27,271 --> 01:08:28,981
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST——
AH, MY HAND.
1633
01:08:29,273 --> 01:08:31,209
FOR TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE
AND DESTROYING PROPERTY.
1634
01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:32,818
EVIDENCE.
WHAT EVIDENCE?
1635
01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,362
YOU KNOW WHAT,
SASQUATCH HATER.
1636
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:36,774
I DIDN'T DO NOTHING.
I SWEAR.
1637
01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:38,240
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
1638
01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:40,010
YEAH, RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU
TRY GROWING A MUSTACHE?
1639
01:08:40,034 --> 01:08:42,494
QUIET,
SHORT STACK.
1640
01:08:42,786 --> 01:08:44,747
THEN WHO DID,
SASQUATCH?
1641
01:08:45,039 --> 01:08:47,499
HE'S LONG GONE BY NOW.
1642
01:08:47,791 --> 01:08:49,209
UH, THIS BARK SMELLS.
1643
01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:54,673
OR MAYBE HE
WAS NEVER HERE AT ALL.
1644
01:08:54,965 --> 01:08:56,175
COME ON NOW.
LET'S PACK IT UP.
1645
01:08:56,467 --> 01:08:57,467
EVERYONE,
LET'S GO HOME.
1646
01:08:57,676 --> 01:09:01,305
QUICK JUDGING ME. AH!
GET THAT CAMERA——
1647
01:09:01,597 --> 01:09:03,597
YEAH, YOU SEEN THAT?
THAT'LL MAKE THE EVENING NEWS.
1648
01:09:03,766 --> 01:09:04,766
I DIDN'T DO IT.
1649
01:09:04,808 --> 01:09:06,894
IT'S YOUR FAULT,
YOU STUPID NERD.
1650
01:09:07,186 --> 01:09:09,605
GET OFF ME.
1651
01:09:09,897 --> 01:09:10,897
I'M GOING TO PRISON.
1652
01:09:11,023 --> 01:09:13,776
LOOK AT ME.
QUIT GAWKING AND JUDGING.
1653
01:09:14,068 --> 01:09:16,320
HEY, MA,
WE HAVING NUGGETS TONIGHT?
1654
01:09:16,612 --> 01:09:19,657
GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
1655
01:09:19,948 --> 01:09:21,092
DO YOU THINK THE SASQUATCH
REALLY DID IT?
1656
01:09:21,116 --> 01:09:24,787
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
1657
01:09:25,079 --> 01:09:26,830
YEAH, RIGHT, FAGON.
HA—HA.
1658
01:09:27,122 --> 01:09:28,522
FAGON——WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
1659
01:09:28,707 --> 01:09:30,060
IT MEANS YOU'RE GAY,
YOU STUPID JERK.
1660
01:09:30,084 --> 01:09:32,252
HE'S NOT GAY.
YEAH, RIGHT.
1661
01:09:32,544 --> 01:09:34,264
I BET YOU GUYS
HAVEN'T KISSED YET, HAVE YOU?
1662
01:09:34,338 --> 01:09:35,938
SHUT UP, SHANE.
HA—HA, I DIDN'T THINK SO.
1663
01:09:36,215 --> 01:09:37,335
I BET YOU HADN'T EVEN TRIED,
1664
01:09:37,383 --> 01:09:39,093
'CAUSE YOU REALLY LIKE
THAT HOMO HOBIE.
1665
01:09:39,385 --> 01:09:40,745
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
KISSING ME AGAIN?
1666
01:09:40,844 --> 01:09:42,638
I ALWAYS ENJOY KICKING PEOPLE
IN THE NUTS.
1667
01:09:42,930 --> 01:09:43,639
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
AND BITE ME?
1668
01:09:43,931 --> 01:09:45,057
OOPS, I FORGOT.
1669
01:09:45,349 --> 01:09:46,909
YOU CAN'T OPEN
YOUR STUPID MOUTH, FATTY.
1670
01:09:46,934 --> 01:09:47,643
LEAVE HER ALONE.
1671
01:09:47,935 --> 01:09:49,812
NO. NOW, THEN...
1672
01:09:50,104 --> 01:09:51,464
JUST WANT TO FIND A TIME
TO COME BY
1673
01:09:51,563 --> 01:09:53,607
AND GET THE REST OF THE VIDEOS
FROM YOUR COLECCION.
1674
01:09:53,899 --> 01:09:55,710
(Gavin)
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DIDN'T WIN.
1675
01:09:55,734 --> 01:09:56,360
GIVE MY VIDEO BACK.
1676
01:09:56,652 --> 01:09:58,237
NO WAY.
IT'S MINE NOW.
1677
01:09:58,529 --> 01:10:00,572
GIVE IT TO ME.
1678
01:10:00,864 --> 01:10:02,116
BACK OFF, GAVIN.
1679
01:10:02,408 --> 01:10:03,701
GIVE MY VIDEO BACK.
1680
01:10:07,079 --> 01:10:09,832
YOU WANT YOUR STUPID VIDEO?
1681
01:10:10,124 --> 01:10:12,459
WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR DOG
TO GO FETCH IT?
1682
01:10:12,751 --> 01:10:14,336
[tape smashing]
1683
01:10:14,628 --> 01:10:17,423
[laughter]
1684
01:10:18,882 --> 01:10:20,551
ALL RIGHT, DOG.
1685
01:10:20,843 --> 01:10:21,552
GO FETCH IT.
1686
01:10:21,844 --> 01:10:22,844
STOP IT, YOU GUYS.
1687
01:10:22,970 --> 01:10:26,014
[boys barking]
1688
01:10:26,306 --> 01:10:28,684
(Gavin)
STOP CALLING HER A DOG.
1689
01:10:28,976 --> 01:10:31,562
SHE'S NOT A DOG.
SHE'S A FOX.
1690
01:10:31,854 --> 01:10:33,331
WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU GONNA DO
WITH A STUPID STICK?
1691
01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:34,940
[groaning]
OH!
1692
01:10:35,232 --> 01:10:37,025
[grunting]
1693
01:10:37,317 --> 01:10:40,028
LET ME HAVE HIM.
LET ME HAVE HIM.
1694
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:41,655
AH, MY NIPPLES!
1695
01:10:41,947 --> 01:10:43,866
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
1696
01:10:44,158 --> 01:10:46,994
GUYS, I WAS, LIKE, HALFWAY DOWN
WHEN I——WHOA.
1697
01:10:52,833 --> 01:10:53,833
GET OFF OF HIM.
HEY!
1698
01:10:54,001 --> 01:10:55,711
(Shane)
GET OFF ME.
SIT, DOG.
1699
01:10:58,088 --> 01:10:59,673
SOPHIE! AH!
1700
01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:01,133
OOPS.
[laughs]
1701
01:11:01,425 --> 01:11:02,425
I THINK IT'S TIME NOW
1702
01:11:02,593 --> 01:11:03,793
FOR SOME FUN
WITH DIRTY D HERE.
1703
01:11:03,886 --> 01:11:05,512
RED BELLY TIME.
1704
01:11:05,804 --> 01:11:06,930
[all screaming]
1705
01:11:07,222 --> 01:11:09,433
YOU CAN HAVE THE VIDEOS.
JUST LEAVE US ALONE.
1706
01:11:09,725 --> 01:11:12,227
(Shane)
WHO WANTS YOUR STUPID VIDEOS
ANYWAYS, DORK FACE?
1707
01:11:12,519 --> 01:11:14,146
UH, 100—HAND SLAPS.
1708
01:11:14,438 --> 01:11:17,357
[all cheering]
1709
01:11:17,649 --> 01:11:19,067
IT'S WEDGIE TIME!
1710
01:11:19,359 --> 01:11:21,278
[all screaming]
1711
01:11:21,570 --> 01:11:22,571
GET HIM.
OH, MY GOD.
1712
01:11:22,863 --> 01:11:24,740
OH, MY GOD.
1713
01:11:25,032 --> 01:11:26,617
[cheers and laughter]
1714
01:11:26,909 --> 01:11:28,202
[groans]
1715
01:11:28,494 --> 01:11:29,787
WHAT HAPPENED?
1716
01:11:30,078 --> 01:11:31,705
[whimpering]
1717
01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:33,457
[lively music]
1718
01:11:33,749 --> 01:11:34,458
HOBIE?
1719
01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:36,710
YEAH.
1720
01:11:37,002 --> 01:11:39,963
[groaning]
1721
01:11:40,255 --> 01:11:42,216
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
1722
01:11:42,508 --> 01:11:44,789
MAYBE I DIDN'T WANT YOU TAKING
ALL THE GLORY FOR YOURSELF.
1723
01:11:44,843 --> 01:11:46,595
HERE.
1724
01:11:46,887 --> 01:11:47,887
YEAH, NICE ONE, FATSO,
1725
01:11:48,013 --> 01:11:49,365
BUT I HIT THAT KID
IN THE NUTS ALL THE TIME.
1726
01:11:49,389 --> 01:11:50,389
HE'LL BE FINE.
1727
01:11:50,599 --> 01:11:53,393
THAT'S TRUE, YO.
I'LL BE FINE.
1728
01:11:53,685 --> 01:11:54,871
GOOD, BECAUSE I'M NOT DONE
WHUPPING HIS BOODNIKS YET.
1729
01:11:54,895 --> 01:11:56,355
COME ON, YO!
1730
01:11:56,647 --> 01:11:57,647
[screams]
1731
01:11:57,773 --> 01:11:59,316
[both screaming]
1732
01:12:00,651 --> 01:12:02,402
I BET YOU THINK
YOU'RE PRETTY COOL
1733
01:12:02,694 --> 01:12:04,088
WITH THAT STUPID SWORD,
DON'T YOU, FAGOT?
1734
01:12:04,112 --> 01:12:04,613
NO, I THINK
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
1735
01:12:04,905 --> 01:12:06,198
A 1,000—SWORD SLAP
WITH IT.
1736
01:12:06,490 --> 01:12:09,159
[lively music]
1737
01:12:09,451 --> 01:12:17,000
♪♪
1738
01:12:23,382 --> 01:12:25,008
QUIT WHACKING YOURSELF.
1739
01:12:25,300 --> 01:12:26,969
QUIT WHACKING YOURSELF.
1740
01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:28,804
YEAH, QUIT WHACKING YOURSELF.
1741
01:12:29,096 --> 01:12:30,138
[laughing]
YEAH.
1742
01:12:30,430 --> 01:12:32,015
GO ON, GET YOUR LEG IN THERE.
1743
01:12:32,307 --> 01:12:35,435
(Snodgrass)
WELL, OF COURSE,
IF THE SASQUATCH IS HUMAN,
1744
01:12:35,727 --> 01:12:38,522
THE GOVERNMENT WOULD
HAVE TO PROVIDE PROPER HOUSING,
1745
01:12:38,814 --> 01:12:40,941
SCHOOLS
1746
01:12:41,233 --> 01:12:43,193
AND SCHOOL BUSES,
1747
01:12:43,485 --> 01:12:46,572
MEDICARE AND FOOD STAMPS.
1748
01:12:46,864 --> 01:12:49,575
WAIT, COME BACK!
HURRY. QUICK.
1749
01:12:49,867 --> 01:12:51,067
WE NEED HELP.
WE WERE ATTACKED.
1750
01:12:51,326 --> 01:12:53,078
WHAT IS IT, MY BOY?
THE SASQUATCH?
1751
01:12:53,370 --> 01:12:53,704
JUST HURRY.
1752
01:12:53,996 --> 01:12:59,001
GET OFF ME, YOU——
1753
01:12:59,293 --> 01:13:01,587
WHO'S WHUPPING
YOUR BOODNIKS NOW, HUH?
1754
01:13:01,879 --> 01:13:02,879
HOBIE.
1755
01:13:11,179 --> 01:13:12,222
YOU OKAY, HOBIE?
1756
01:13:12,514 --> 01:13:13,514
YEAH, I'M OKAY.
1757
01:13:13,765 --> 01:13:14,765
[both groaning]
1758
01:13:14,975 --> 01:13:17,311
I'LL GET EXCALIBUR.
1759
01:13:17,603 --> 01:13:20,355
[lively music]
1760
01:13:20,647 --> 01:13:25,944
♪♪
1761
01:13:26,403 --> 01:13:27,487
NOT TODAY, GAVIN.
1762
01:13:27,821 --> 01:13:29,323
OH, NO.
1763
01:13:31,074 --> 01:13:33,035
GET OFF ME, A—WAD.
1764
01:13:40,208 --> 01:13:42,002
OH, YO, YOU CRUSHED HIM.
1765
01:13:42,294 --> 01:13:44,880
YO, SON,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1766
01:13:45,172 --> 01:13:46,172
[groaning]
1767
01:13:48,383 --> 01:13:51,637
COME ON.
MAN, FORGET THIS, SON.
1768
01:13:51,929 --> 01:13:52,929
LET'S BOUNCE.
1769
01:13:55,390 --> 01:13:56,390
[indistinct screaming]
1770
01:13:57,643 --> 01:14:00,479
[sighs]
1771
01:14:00,771 --> 01:14:03,523
[lively music]
1772
01:14:03,815 --> 01:14:07,945
♪♪
1773
01:14:08,236 --> 01:14:09,446
OH, WHO'S GOT A STICK NOW?
1774
01:14:09,738 --> 01:14:11,990
EAT STICK.
1775
01:14:16,495 --> 01:14:17,495
OH, THAT HURT.
1776
01:14:17,663 --> 01:14:18,663
[screams]
1777
01:14:27,422 --> 01:14:29,049
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT US ALONE,
YOU JERK.
1778
01:14:35,347 --> 01:14:38,183
MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME,
MAN.
1779
01:14:38,475 --> 01:14:41,186
SHANE, IT'S THE COPS.
1780
01:14:44,773 --> 01:14:46,775
WAIT UP, GUYS!
1781
01:14:50,070 --> 01:14:51,405
SOPHIE.
1782
01:14:51,697 --> 01:14:52,155
SOPHIE.
1783
01:14:52,447 --> 01:14:53,907
SOPHIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
1784
01:14:54,199 --> 01:14:55,534
WAKE UP, SOPHIE.
1785
01:14:55,826 --> 01:14:57,077
SOPHIE, WAKE UP.
1786
01:14:57,369 --> 01:14:59,246
COME ON, WE BETTER GO
GET SOME HELP.
1787
01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:04,084
WAIT, I'M GONNA TRY
ONE MORE THING.
1788
01:15:20,684 --> 01:15:21,727
GAVIN?
1789
01:15:23,812 --> 01:15:24,855
SOPHIE?
1790
01:15:25,147 --> 01:15:27,357
DID YOU JUST KISS ME?
1791
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:28,942
YEAH.
1792
01:15:29,234 --> 01:15:30,652
HOW WAS IT?
1793
01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:33,613
IT WAS——IT WAS TOTALLY RAD.
1794
01:15:34,948 --> 01:15:37,200
I WISH I COULD REMEMBER IT.
1795
01:15:44,624 --> 01:15:45,083
(Hobie)
COULD I GET A LITTLE WINE
1796
01:15:45,375 --> 01:15:46,626
WITH ALL THIS CHEESE?
1797
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:49,046
SHUT UP, HOBIE.
1798
01:15:55,802 --> 01:15:56,802
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
1799
01:15:56,928 --> 01:15:58,346
YEAH, MY HEAD
HURTS A LITTLE,
1800
01:15:58,638 --> 01:16:00,640
BUT I THINK I'M OKAY.
1801
01:16:00,932 --> 01:16:02,017
WHAT HAPPENED?
1802
01:16:02,309 --> 01:16:03,995
OH, ME AND HOBIE GAVE THEM
A SERIOUS BEAT DOWN.
1803
01:16:04,019 --> 01:16:05,312
(Sophie)
WAIT, HOBIE,
1804
01:16:05,604 --> 01:16:06,897
HOW'D YOU GET HERE?
1805
01:16:07,189 --> 01:16:07,647
WELL, I FIGURED WHEN YOU GUYS
FOUND THE TRACKS DESTROYED,
1806
01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:09,691
YOU MIGHT NEED SOME HELP
1807
01:16:09,983 --> 01:16:11,169
GETTING YOUR VIDEO BACK
FROM SHANE.
1808
01:16:11,193 --> 01:16:13,153
SO I GRABBED SOME WEAPONS,
AND I CAME ON UP.
1809
01:16:13,445 --> 01:16:14,946
NO BIG DEAL.
1810
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:17,115
SO YOU DESTROYED
THE TRACKS?
1811
01:16:17,407 --> 01:16:20,410
YEAH. SORRY.
1812
01:16:20,702 --> 01:16:22,287
YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ANYONE,
ARE YOU?
1813
01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:24,581
OF COURSE NOT.
I'M JUST GLAD YOU CAME.
1814
01:16:24,873 --> 01:16:27,459
SHOULD'VE PAID MORE ATTENTION
INSTEAD OF LEAVING YOU OUT
1815
01:16:27,751 --> 01:16:29,711
WHEN WE FOUND THE TRACKS,
YOU KNOW?
1816
01:16:30,003 --> 01:16:31,379
I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
I'M SORRY.
1817
01:16:31,671 --> 01:16:32,671
IT'S OKAY.
1818
01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:35,258
I WAS BEING KIND OF
A BUTT FACE TOO.
1819
01:16:35,550 --> 01:16:37,344
COME ON. OVER HERE.
1820
01:16:42,224 --> 01:16:44,392
WELL, WHAT'S
ALL THIS, THEN?
1821
01:16:44,684 --> 01:16:45,894
OH, NOTHING.
IT'S JUST——
1822
01:16:46,186 --> 01:16:48,426
WELL, IT'S JUST TWO FRIENDS
OVERCOMING THEIR DIFFERENCES.
1823
01:16:53,110 --> 01:16:54,361
W—WAIT A SECOND.
1824
01:16:54,653 --> 01:16:55,797
HOBIE, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU SHOWERED?
1825
01:16:55,821 --> 01:16:57,781
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I SHOWER EVERY DAY.
1826
01:16:58,073 --> 01:16:59,073
NO, YOU DON'T.
1827
01:16:59,282 --> 01:17:00,722
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T SHOWER
FOR WEEKS.
1828
01:17:00,951 --> 01:17:01,951
WHATEVER.
1829
01:17:01,993 --> 01:17:03,137
(Chillcut)
THIS IS NOT THE TIME
OR PLACE
1830
01:17:03,161 --> 01:17:04,561
TO TALK
ABOUT YOUR FRIEND'S HYGIENE.
1831
01:17:04,621 --> 01:17:06,741
YES, BESIDES, WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
1832
01:17:06,832 --> 01:17:08,392
WELL, HE'S THE ONE
THAT FELL ON THE POO.
1833
01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:10,265
REALLY, WE MAY HAVE
NEVER FOUND THE TRACKS
1834
01:17:10,460 --> 01:17:11,940
IF IT WASN'T
FOR MY FRIEND HOBIE HERE.
1835
01:17:12,045 --> 01:17:14,190
I MEAN, HE TRIPPED AND HIT
HIS HEAD IN THE SASQUATCH POO,
1836
01:17:14,214 --> 01:17:16,134
AND I STILL THINK THERE'S SOME
STUCK IN HIS HAIR.
1837
01:17:16,424 --> 01:17:18,176
LOOK, YEAH.
RIGHT HERE, SEE?
1838
01:17:20,595 --> 01:17:24,558
BE STILL, MY BOY.
1839
01:17:24,850 --> 01:17:29,187
IF THESE ARE REAL DROPPINGS,
I'LL KNOW.
1840
01:17:58,508 --> 01:18:01,595
[hisses]
1841
01:18:03,847 --> 01:18:04,847
SICK.
1842
01:18:07,058 --> 01:18:14,482
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THIS IS GENUINE SASQUATCH FECES.
1843
01:18:14,774 --> 01:18:17,903
CONGRATULATIONS,
YOU HAVE A FIND.
1844
01:18:18,195 --> 01:18:19,195
YES, YES!
1845
01:18:19,362 --> 01:18:20,906
I KNEW IT.
1846
01:18:21,198 --> 01:18:22,278
(Snodgrass)
YOU HAVE A FIND!
1847
01:18:22,449 --> 01:18:23,658
A FIND!
1848
01:18:23,950 --> 01:18:24,451
YEAH.
1849
01:18:24,743 --> 01:18:25,994
NOW, SON, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
1850
01:18:26,286 --> 01:18:27,537
YOUR FRIENDS WERE ATTACKED?
1851
01:18:27,829 --> 01:18:28,830
WE WERE ATTACKED.
1852
01:18:29,122 --> 01:18:30,642
GAVIN AND I WERE ABLE
TO FEND THEM OFF.
1853
01:18:30,874 --> 01:18:32,083
TOOK OFF DOWN THAT WAY.
1854
01:18:32,417 --> 01:18:33,417
WHO WERE THEY?
1855
01:18:33,585 --> 01:18:36,254
IT WAS SHANE BAGWELL
AND HIS ATROCIOUS FRIENDS.
1856
01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:36,963
OH, THAT LITTLE BRAT'S
MY NEPHEW.
1857
01:18:37,255 --> 01:18:39,049
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.
1858
01:18:39,341 --> 01:18:40,651
(Gavin)
HEY, EVERYBODY,
LET'S GO GET SOME
1859
01:18:40,675 --> 01:18:42,135
OF GRANDMA LLOYD'S
APPLE DUMPLINGS.
1860
01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:44,554
(all)
YEAH!
1861
01:18:44,846 --> 01:18:45,889
(Gavin)
LET'S GO. COME ON.
1862
01:18:46,181 --> 01:18:48,850
[solemn music]
1863
01:18:49,142 --> 01:18:56,942
♪♪
1864
01:19:00,528 --> 01:19:03,406
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
1865
01:19:03,698 --> 01:19:05,338
CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE
SUMMER'S ALMOST OVER?
1866
01:19:05,617 --> 01:19:06,910
YEAH.
1867
01:19:07,202 --> 01:19:09,329
HEY, DON'T YOU START SCHOOL
ON MONDAY, MAYNARD?
1868
01:19:09,621 --> 01:19:10,997
YEP.
1869
01:19:11,289 --> 01:19:14,542
DID YOU GET ALL THE CLASSES
YOU WANTED DOWN AT THE CCCC?
1870
01:19:14,834 --> 01:19:17,254
I'M ONLY GONNA TAKE
TWO COMPUTER CLASSES, THOUGH.
1871
01:19:17,545 --> 01:19:18,630
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HOBIE?
1872
01:19:18,922 --> 01:19:22,592
I WAS THINKING OF GOING
TO MASSAGE THERAPY SCHOOL.
1873
01:19:22,884 --> 01:19:23,551
YEAH, THEN I COULD GO
TO HOLLYWOOD
1874
01:19:23,843 --> 01:19:25,887
AND BECOME
AN ON—SET MASSEUSE,
1875
01:19:26,179 --> 01:19:27,219
MEET ALL THE FAMOUS STARS,
1876
01:19:27,472 --> 01:19:30,183
AND EVENTUALLY
BECOME FAMOUS MYSELF...
1877
01:19:30,475 --> 01:19:32,352
OR JUST STICK AROUND TOWN.
1878
01:19:32,644 --> 01:19:34,854
IT'S A BIG DREAM, HOBIE.
1879
01:19:35,146 --> 01:19:37,250
(Sophie)
HEY, GUYS, I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO SWORD FIGHT.
1880
01:19:37,274 --> 01:19:39,192
YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE.
1881
01:19:39,484 --> 01:19:42,028
SOPHIE?
1882
01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:43,989
WOW, YOU LOOK AMAZING.
1883
01:19:44,281 --> 01:19:45,573
THANKS.
1884
01:19:45,865 --> 01:19:47,993
YOUR MOUTH.
1885
01:19:48,285 --> 01:19:50,870
YEAH, I DECIDED I DIDN'T REALLY
NEED TO LOSE THAT MUCH WEIGHT.
1886
01:19:51,162 --> 01:19:53,123
I KIND OF LIKE MYSELF
THE WAY I AM, YOU KNOW?
1887
01:19:53,415 --> 01:19:55,458
ME TOO.
1888
01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:56,960
SO NOW YOU CAN TALK AND JUNK?
1889
01:19:57,252 --> 01:19:58,336
THAT'S NOT ALL I CAN DO.
1890
01:20:05,927 --> 01:20:08,054
(man)
♪ SO I THINK
THAT YOU SHOULD GO. ♪
1891
01:20:08,346 --> 01:20:10,390
OOH, KISSY, KISSY.
1892
01:20:10,682 --> 01:20:11,099
SHUT UP, HOBIE.
1893
01:20:11,391 --> 01:20:13,226
WHOA, WHAT'S THAT?
1894
01:20:13,518 --> 01:20:14,602
IT'S MY BATTLE AX.
1895
01:20:14,894 --> 01:20:16,479
COOL.
1896
01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:19,011
I MADE MYSELF A SHIELD TOO
SO I WOULDN'T GET HIT SO MUCH.
1897
01:20:19,274 --> 01:20:21,276
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA NAME YOUR AX?
1898
01:20:21,568 --> 01:20:22,819
THE BERSERKER.
1899
01:20:23,111 --> 01:20:24,529
[together]
SWEET.
1900
01:20:24,821 --> 01:20:26,257
COME ON, GUYS.
WHO WANTS TO START FIRST?
1901
01:20:26,281 --> 01:20:27,449
I DO.
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
1902
01:20:27,741 --> 01:20:30,452
(Hobie)
PREPARE TO MEET
YOUR DOOM, MAYNARDS.
1903
01:20:30,744 --> 01:20:32,954
COME ON.
1904
01:20:33,246 --> 01:20:37,876
(man)
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. ♪
1905
01:20:38,168 --> 01:20:43,757
♪ YOU RESTLESS SOULS,
YOU'RE GONNA FIND IT. ♪
1906
01:20:44,049 --> 01:20:48,887
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. ♪
1907
01:20:49,179 --> 01:20:51,056
♪ YOU RESTLESS SOULS,
YOU'RE GONNA FIND IT. ♪
1908
01:20:51,389 --> 01:20:52,389
OPEN NUMBER FIVE.
1909
01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:55,268
[buzzing]
1910
01:20:59,356 --> 01:21:01,566
APPARENTLY WE HAVE NO EVIDENCE
OF ANY WRONGDOING,
1911
01:21:01,858 --> 01:21:04,527
SO YOU CAN GO.
1912
01:21:04,819 --> 01:21:08,114
TOLD YOU I DIDN'T DO NOTHING,
STUPID PIECE OF CRAP.
1913
01:21:08,406 --> 01:21:11,034
YOU KNOW
WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, ZERK?
1914
01:21:11,326 --> 01:21:13,161
YOU CAN'T SEEM
TO GO 20 MINUTES
1915
01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:15,747
WITHOUT SAYING
OR DOING SOMETHING STUPID.
1916
01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:17,207
NOW GET OUT OF HERE.
1917
01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:24,964
CHECK YOU LATER, MIGGS.
1918
01:21:28,551 --> 01:21:29,551
FREE.
1919
01:21:41,689 --> 01:21:43,626
I SWEAR, MAN, I'M GONNA GET ME
A LAWYER AND SUE THEM
1920
01:21:43,650 --> 01:21:45,860
FOR WRONGFUL IMPRISONMENT, MAN.
1921
01:21:46,152 --> 01:21:48,405
SUCKS.
1922
01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:50,007
SO LAY IT ON ME, MAN.
TELL ME THE GOOD NEWS.
1923
01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:51,699
ARE WE RICH?
1924
01:21:51,991 --> 01:21:54,619
WELL, THE FIRST ONE SOLD
FOR $400.
1925
01:21:54,911 --> 01:21:56,746
YES, SCOOBY DOOBY DOO.
1926
01:21:57,038 --> 01:21:58,081
WHAT ABOUT THE REST?
1927
01:21:58,373 --> 01:22:01,584
WELL, NO ONE
BID ON THE OTHER ONES.
1928
01:22:01,876 --> 01:22:03,156
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, DUDE?
1929
01:22:03,336 --> 01:22:04,754
WELL, THERE'S, LIKE,
1930
01:22:05,046 --> 01:22:06,881
SELLING SO—CALLED AUTHENTIC
1931
01:22:07,173 --> 01:22:09,426
CLACKANOMAH COUNTY
BIGFOOT CASTS
1932
01:22:09,717 --> 01:22:14,013
NOW THAT SNODGRASS
DECLARED IT'S A REAL FIND.
1933
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:16,307
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE, MAN.
1934
01:22:16,599 --> 01:22:18,601
PEOPLE PROFITING
FROM OUR HARD WORK.
1935
01:22:18,893 --> 01:22:20,454
I MEAN, THIS IS AMERICA.
THAT AIN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
1936
01:22:20,478 --> 01:22:23,523
IT'S NOT FREAKING CHINA
OR WHATEVER.
1937
01:22:23,815 --> 01:22:27,944
IDIOTS.
1938
01:22:28,236 --> 01:22:30,280
I DON'T WANT TO CRY, MAN.
1939
01:22:30,572 --> 01:22:31,948
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
1940
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:33,491
THAT GUY'S COMING ON MONDAY.
1941
01:22:33,783 --> 01:22:35,577
WE ONLY SOLD ONE
FOR 400 BUCKS.
1942
01:22:35,869 --> 01:22:38,246
WELL, DID YOU KNOW
THAT IT ONLY COST $300
1943
01:22:38,538 --> 01:22:40,874
TO ENTER THE DEMOLITION DERBY
THIS SATURDAY?
1944
01:22:41,166 --> 01:22:42,417
I MEAN,
1945
01:22:42,709 --> 01:22:45,003
THEY'RE GONNA TAKE THE CAR
NO MATTER WHAT, RIGHT?
1946
01:22:45,295 --> 01:22:48,423
AND IF YOU WIN,
YOU GET 5,000 BUCKS.
1947
01:22:48,715 --> 01:22:50,258
YOU MIGHT AS WELL.
1948
01:22:50,550 --> 01:22:52,051
PLUS, WITH ALL
THIS CAR'S SPEED,
1949
01:22:52,343 --> 01:22:54,345
YOU'LL PROBABLY
NEVER EVEN GET HIT.
1950
01:22:54,637 --> 01:22:57,390
YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
1951
01:22:57,682 --> 01:23:02,103
SHIRTS,
YOU'RE A DANG GENIUS, MAN.
1952
01:23:03,188 --> 01:23:03,730
[engine turning]
1953
01:23:04,063 --> 01:23:06,483
[rock music]
1954
01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,568
♪♪
1955
01:23:08,860 --> 01:23:10,445
[tires squealing]
1956
01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:12,447
[both cheering]
1957
01:23:12,739 --> 01:23:14,782
[rock music]
1958
01:23:15,074 --> 01:23:18,161
(man)
♪ IT'S NOT THE RIGHT TIME
TO BE SOBER. ♪
1959
01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:21,915
♪ NOW THE IDIOTS
HAVE TAKEN OVER, ♪
1960
01:23:22,207 --> 01:23:24,209
♪ SPREADING LIKE
A SOCIAL CANCER. ♪
1961
01:23:24,501 --> 01:23:28,796
♪ IS THERE AN ANSWER? ♪
1962
01:23:29,088 --> 01:23:30,673
♪ MENSA MEMBERSHIP CONCEDING. ♪
1963
01:23:30,965 --> 01:23:35,136
♪ TELL ME WHY AND HOW ARE ALL
THE STUPID PEOPLE BREEDING? ♪
1964
01:23:35,428 --> 01:23:37,055
♪ WATSON,
IT'S REALLY ELEMENTARY. ♪
1965
01:23:37,347 --> 01:23:39,224
♪ THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION ♪
1966
01:23:39,516 --> 01:23:44,395
♪ HAS FLIPPED THE BITCH
ON EVOLUTION. ♪
1967
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:46,022
♪ THE BENEVOLENT AND WISE ♪
1968
01:23:46,314 --> 01:23:46,773
♪ ARE BEING THWARTED,
OSTRACIZED. ♪
1969
01:23:47,065 --> 01:23:50,068
♪ WHAT A BUMMER. ♪
1970
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:53,154
♪ THE WORLD
KEEPS GETTING DUMBER. ♪
1971
01:23:53,446 --> 01:23:56,282
♪ INSENSITIVITY IS STANDARD, ♪
1972
01:23:56,574 --> 01:23:58,826
♪ AND FAITH IS BEING FANCIED
OVER REASON. ♪
1973
01:23:59,118 --> 01:24:01,329
♪♪
1974
01:24:01,621 --> 01:24:04,415
♪ DARWIN'S ROLLING OVER
IN HIS COFFIN. ♪
1975
01:24:04,707 --> 01:24:07,835
♪ THE FITTEST ARE SURVIVING
MUCH LESS OFTEN. ♪
1976
01:24:08,127 --> 01:24:10,797
♪ NOW EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO BE REVERSING, ♪
1977
01:24:11,089 --> 01:24:14,592
♪ AND IT'S WORSENING. ♪
1978
01:24:14,884 --> 01:24:17,929
♪ SOMEONE FLOPPED A STEAMER
IN THE GENE POOL. ♪
1979
01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,341
♪ NOW ANGRY MOB MENTALITY'S
NO LONGER THE EXCEPTION; ♪
1980
01:24:20,557 --> 01:24:22,016
♪ IT'S THE RULE. ♪
1981
01:24:22,308 --> 01:24:26,521
♪ AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL
A LOT LIKE CHARLTON HESTON ♪
1982
01:24:26,813 --> 01:24:29,941
♪ STRANDED
ON A PRIMATE PLANET, ♪
1983
01:24:30,233 --> 01:24:32,777
♪ APES AND ORANGUTANS
THAT RAN IT TO THE GROUND, ♪
1984
01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:36,656
♪ WITH GENERALS AND THE ARMIES
THAT OBEYED THEM, ♪
1985
01:24:36,948 --> 01:24:39,742
♪ FOLLOWERS FOLLOWING FABLES, ♪
1986
01:24:40,034 --> 01:24:43,454
♪ PHILOSOPHIES THAT ENABLED THEM
TO RULE WITHOUT REGARD. ♪
1987
01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:46,499
[upbeat music]
1988
01:24:46,791 --> 01:24:48,334
♪♪
1989
01:24:48,626 --> 01:24:51,212
♪ THERE'S NO POINT
FOR DEMOCRACY ♪
1990
01:24:51,504 --> 01:24:57,802
♪ WHEN IGNORANCE
IS CELEBRATED. ♪
1991
01:24:58,094 --> 01:24:59,894
♪ POLITICAL SCIENTISTS
GET THE SAME ONE VOTE ♪
1992
01:25:00,179 --> 01:25:05,727
♪ AS SOME ARKANSAS INBRED. ♪
1993
01:25:06,019 --> 01:25:14,110
♪ MAJORITY RULE DON'T WORK
IN MENTAL INSTITUTIONS. ♪
1994
01:25:14,402 --> 01:25:15,629
♪ SOMETIMES THE SMALLEST,
SOFTEST VOICE ♪
1995
01:25:15,653 --> 01:25:20,033
♪ CARRIES THE GRAND,
BIGGEST SOLUTIONS. ♪
1996
01:25:20,325 --> 01:25:21,534
♪ WHAT ARE WE LEFT WITH? ♪
1997
01:25:21,826 --> 01:25:26,581
♪ A NATION OF GOD—FEARING
PREGNANT NATIONALISTS ♪
1998
01:25:26,873 --> 01:25:31,002
♪ WHO FEEL IT'S THEIR DUTY
TO POPULATE THE HOMELAND, ♪
1999
01:25:31,294 --> 01:25:34,380
♪ PASS ON TRADITIONS, ♪
2000
01:25:34,672 --> 01:25:37,008
♪ HOW TO GET AHEAD RELIGIONS, ♪
2001
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:39,969
♪ AND PROSPERITY
VIA SIMPLETON CULTURE. ♪
2002
01:25:40,261 --> 01:25:44,140
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2003
01:25:44,432 --> 01:25:47,560
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2004
01:25:47,852 --> 01:25:50,021
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2005
01:25:50,313 --> 01:25:54,192
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2006
01:25:54,484 --> 01:25:57,695
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2007
01:25:57,987 --> 01:26:00,990
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2008
01:26:01,282 --> 01:26:04,452
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2009
01:26:04,744 --> 01:26:06,913
♪ THE IDIOTS ARE TAKING OVER. ♪
2010
01:26:07,205 --> 01:26:09,123
♪ THEY'RE TAKING OVER. ♪
2011
01:26:09,415 --> 01:26:12,168
[upbeat instrumental music]
2012
01:26:12,460 --> 01:26:19,217
♪♪
130263
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