All language subtitles for Casino.Jack.2010.1080p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

You know,

I do a shitload of reading
and studying and praying,

and I've come to a few
conclusions I want to share.

People look at politicians and celebrities
on the TV and the newspapers,

glossy magazines.
What do they see?

"I'm just like them.
" That's what they say. "I'm special.

I'm different.
I could be any one of them."

Well, guess what?
You can't. You know why?

'Cause in reality, mediocrity's
where most people live.

Mediocrity is the elephant in the room.
It's ubiquitous.

Mediocrity in your schools.
It's in your dreams.

It's in your family.

And those of us who know this,

those of us who understand the disease
of the dull, we do something about it.

We do more because we have to.

The deck was always
stacked against us.

You're either a big leaguer, or you're a
slave clawing your way onto the "C" train.

Some people say Jack Αbramoff moves
too fast, Jack Abramoff cuts corners.

Well, I say to them, if that's the difference
between me and my family having a good life...

and walkin' and using the subway
every day, then so be it.

I will not allow my
family to be slaves.

I will not allow the world
I touch to be vanilla.

You say I'm selfish? Fuck you!

I give back. I give back plenty.

You say I... I got a big ego?
Fuck you twice!

I'm humbly grateful for the wonderful
gifts that I've received here in America,

the greatest country
on this planet.

I'm Jack Abramoff.

And oh, yeah,
I work out every day.

Mr. Sprague.
Susan Schmidt of the Washington Post.

Find it all right? Yeah.
Thanks for seeing me.

I got a lot of questions for you.
Ah.

Jack Abramoff, right?

I hear he was charging your
tribe an exorbitant fee.

Thirty million or more.

So I guess you met his
partner, Mike Scanlon, too?

Oh, yeah. He's a real cowboy.

Looks like they might
be in some trouble.

Jack?

Honey. Jack. Dad!

Mikey.

Hey, I've been calling you all day, dude.
Where are you?

I'm in L.A.
What the fuck are you doing in L.A.?

Our world is collapsing here.

Wait. What have you heard?
Are you gonna be indicted?

Well, I got federal marshals looking for me, okay?
I've had a hundred media calls today.

We're under horrific assault from
the worst forces in our culture.

I know. I know. You're the only
one that's returned my calls.

The president's probably destroying
every picture he ever took with you.

Well, you're no one in this
town until you haven't met us.

That isn't funny, Jack.

Don't fucking mess
with my chi, dude.

I'm serious.
We are super-fucked here, okay?

They're calling us the
new Watergate, Jack.

We're about to be on the Nightly News.
You need to get back to D.C., now.

Step up to the line.

Dear Mr. President,

I write you this petition
with hope and prayers.

As a man of faith, I have come to
see God move in mysterious ways.

After we're born, he gives
us the choice of two paths.

Please don't smile.

I'm not smiling.

Accept the world
for the way it is,

or see it for how we
might want it to be.

Turn to your right.

Your right.

To me, the choice was obvious.

How long are you gonna
be holding me here?

You can get that information
from your lawyer.

I do get my own cell, right?

And I only eat kosher, okay?

You do serve kosher, don't you?

Mr. Abramoff, this is a
federal holding facility.

It's not kosher.

Jack Abramoff.

Snake.

What are you in for, Snake?

Assault and battery,

resisting arrest.

Chickenshit beef like that.

How about you?

Oh, me? I'm...

I work in D.C.
I'm a... I'm a lobbyist.

Lobbyist. That against the law?

Next to God, faith and country,

nothing is more important
than influence.

Political influence.

Influence with the powerful
is like influence with God.

Without it, there's only eternal hellfire,
damnation and congressional logjam.

Here the influence we wield is more
important than the air you breathe.

As a licensed lobbyist, I am legally allowed
to accept money from special interests...

in order to influence
Congress on their behalf.

I'm essentially a conduit to
motivating sleepy lawmakers...

into getting bills passed
and legislation done.

Well, our client is extremely anxious
to know what's in your bill.

The reality is,
without lobbyists,

the wheels of Washington would
come to a grinding halt.

About how much are you looking
to raise with the event?

Can you tell me that
in dollar terms?

Why? Because the most powerful
members of Congress...

rely on lobbyists like me for information
to guide them on how to vote.

And how they vote sometimes requires
taking them on fact-finding missions.

Like House majority
leader Tom DeLay,

who we brought to the Northern Mariana
Islands in the South Pacific...

a U.S. territory where
my textile clients...

produce American-made
designer clothes...

without having to
pay minimum wage.

Well, these folks seem happy.
How are you?

Hello. Thank you. Uh-huh.

I think we should be able to
vote favorably on this, Jack.

For example, your top-of-the-line
stonewashed jeans...

can stay on sale for 19.95...

simply because labor costs in the
Marianas remain low. Morning.

Jack is pushing Mr.
DeLay hard...

to make sure the minimum wage legislation
stays off Congress's schedule.

Hey, you troglodytes,
will you make sure...

that DeLay gets the latest
export numbers from Willie...

in case the Senate tries
to kill this thing?

Oui, mon capitaine.

Lobbying is nothing more than
American-style democracy in action.

And the more influence we have,

the bigger the smiles
on our kids' faces.

Oh, my God!

Good morning, gentlemen.
Grover, what brings you to the locker room?

Don't even bother trying to
pitch him on our new clients.

He has issues with helping
our native people.

Just with Native
Americans, Jack.

What do they have to do with
Americans for Tax Reform?

I need your help on
this one, Grover.

I need the congressional friends
in your organization...

to understand that there are certain
American Indian tribes that need help.

Jack, the United
States, from day one,

was founded on the basis that you
could be or do anything you want to.

You're in charge of
your own future.

There's no ceiling. There's no floor.
You want to be a bum, you can be a bum.

You want to accomplish great
things, you can do that too.

So, if some Native Americans choose
to live in third world conditions,

why is that my problem, hmm?

Are those pistachios?

- Yeah.
- Genius.

- He's here, Jack.
- Listen. This is perfect for you, Grover.

It's philanthropic.
I mean, the money we're saving them...

is essentially paying for their
health clinics and schools.

Help them help themselves.

Yeah. Come on. There's no one in
this town as persuasive as you are.

- You're a Harvard man, dude.
- Yeah, yeah. The man with the crimson tongue.

Grover, all we're trying to do is
help these people empower themselves.

Jack, I've known
you for 25 years.

Why do I think your
social gravitas...

is more than just about
health clinics and schools?

Veuve Clicquot, sir.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Iced tea. Thank you.

Merlot with three ice cubes.
Thank you.

Dude, seriously, I think I once got
a lap dance from her at Nexus Gold.

I wouldn't know, Mikey.
I'm married.

I thought I recognized her too.
See? I knew it.

I think the good Lord would prefer I
have deaf ears on this one, boys.

We all set? Check.

Eighteen holes, St.
Andrews, five-star hotel.

Hugh Fraser, British Open champ, on hand
to give a lesson. La-di-fucking-da.

Restaurant tour of Edinburgh and a two-day
stopover at the Hyde Park Oriental in London.

Oh. V.l.P.
tickets to The Lion King for Tom.

Great.

Okay.
Nice soft grip, soft hands.

Take a whack at her. Go on.

You made contact. Great.
Now I gotta sandbag my drive...

so Poncho doesn't spew in his shoes with envy?
Poncho's been primed.

I've arranged to have his picture
taken with Bush when we get back.

Three years ago, his tribe is weaving
pine needles and selling key chains.

Now all he wants to do is drive a
Hummer and buy condos in Hawaii.

Can you tell me why these clowns get
to own casinos and make 20 mil a year?

Well, I don't know.
Maybe 300 years of genocide.

That not a good enough reason for you, champ?
Oh. Are you part Mohawk now?

Yes, indeed.

Kemosabe.
One of the lost tribes of Israel.

Yeah, yeah.
You're practically an Indian, dude.

Probably why they
like you so much.

That's what I'm talking about.

You know what blows my mind?

All these Indians are so damn rich, and
they're still acting like Wal-Mart shoppers.

He's a multimillionaire,
Jack, with a $10 watch.

Just think. If you and I could
access some of that liquid,

we would be running D.C. in no time.

What are you suggesting?

I'm suggesting that they pay us a
ridiculous amount of money, okay?

And then you and I can split
the fee 50-50 under the table.

It's a little tough
on the Chippewa.

Not to mention, is it legal?

What are they gonna do?
Cancel my membership at the ACLU? Come on.

Well, you know, I got a
limit on what I can charge.

That sucks for you, but
I'm freelance, Jack.

I'm grassroots, baby.

You're always complaining
about living hand to mouth.

You know what?
You deserve better.

Okay?
And Chief Shanks-a-Lot there...

is our ticket out
of hourly fee hell.

That's it, Chief.

Okay. Put together a pitch for Tonto.
Let's see what he says.

Looks good.

Now, Chief, it's a simple thing.

Look.
I've handled the Coushattas,

the Tiguas, the Aguas Calientes,

and I tell them all the
same thing, Chief:

I know what it feels like to
be a persecuted minority.

Yeah? Well, it's about time
you guys in Washington...

finally did something
good for Indian people.

Like give America back?

You got a real sense of humor, Jack.
I like that.

Look. The casino is a
plus if it's profitable.

But in reality, the gaming
industry is very competitive.

You know, the Jena tribe, they want
to open up their own casino now.

They're just one state away.

Yeah, and I know those guys.
They can be brutal.

They can shut you
down mega-fast.

No more Chippewa casino.

You need our help, Chief.

Hmm.

You heard Mike's proposal?

It's a tough call.
It's a hell of a fee you're asking for.

Kind of a record, isn't it?
But think of the billions that you're gonna save.

I can guarantee you that goddamn
Jena tribe casino will never open.

And before you know it, the Jena tribe's
gonna be back selling moccasins.

You know, Mr. Abramoff, we
can't afford to lose this one.

You won't. Swear to God.

Give me five!

- A toast to Team Abramoff!
- Whoo!

- To Team Abramoff.
- To giving America back to the Indians.

All hail to Washington's
biggest retainers.

Fuckin'-A!
You are no one in this town...

unless you haven't met
Jack fuckin' Abramoff.

Take it easy, Bill.

- Jack, you know Emily, my fiancee. Everybody.
- Oh, sure.

- From the, uh, Bush inaugural.
- I'll never forget that night.

McCain was in his office
pounding Bushmills. "We lost!"

It's nice to see the moderates
bleed from every orifice.

Amen to that.

Hey, Jack.
Those Polynesian factories you rep,

uh, that make the blue jeans
on the Mariana Islands.

Yeah? What about them?

Word on the street is they're
goddamn sweatshops and rape camps.

Oh, all you guys from the Washington
Post want to be Woodward and Bernstein.

- Fuckin' pathetic.
- That so?

The Labor Department just fined
your client nine million dollars.

- Must be for something.
- Hey, listen, Ben Bradlee.

Mistakes will happen, but the truth is
you can't tell me those immigrants...

aren't making more money than they would in
China and sending it back to their families.

That's right, Scotty. We're just greasing
the wheel with American dollars, baby.

- Capitalism at its finest.
- Doing the Lord's work.

Doesn't sound much like
American democracy to me.

Don't be stupid.
No democracy, no fucking capitalism.

No capitalism, no
fucking democracy.

Only goddamn communistic
slave-driven bolshevism.

- Thank you, Joe McCarthy.
- Fuckin' elitist!

What?

What is wrong with you? God.

Calm down!

Someone call 911.
Scott is a hemophiliac.

You just hit a hemophiliac
reporter from the Washington Post!

Come on! Oh, great.
Another bleeding heart liberal.

It's okay. It's okay. Jesus.

This isn't good.

Enid, get DeLay for me, will ya?

Should I remind him of Bible
class Thursday afternoon?

- Bible class Thursday?
- Yeah.

Jack, remember, I switched
it with your golf game.

Well, Enid,

you know, sometimes, even those of
us who occupy the Oval Office...

can have our senior moments.

Yes, Mr. President.

Oh, Jack, Mr. Rouvelas is here.

Make sure I see it before
it goes out, okay?

- Manny.
- Let's grab a coffee.

Hey, listen. If it's about the
Delail incident, no worries.

I fired him yesterday.
The guy was a loose cannon.

It's not like the Post is an
important paper in this town.

Yeah.
Can we save this for later?

Bear with me. It's important.

All right, Manny.
So, where's the fire?

We hired you because
the partners felt...

we needed someone who had friends
in the Bush administration.

It's not about friends, Manny.
It's about ideas.

And you guys on the Right
used to have ideas.

But now that communism is gone,
all you think about is money.

So, did you invite me out
for an iced vanilla chai...

just to remind me that I'm
a right-wing fascist?

That's kind of beneath
you, isn't it, Manny?

What's beneath me, Jack, are the
clients you drag into my shop.

Those bottom-feeders in the rag
trade in the Mariana Islands.

You know, there is an upside
for the poor Chinese.

They get to send money back to
their families in the mainland.

And look at all the great work we're
doing for the Choctaw, the Chippewa.

That all sounds nice and
philanthropic, Jack,

but you're buddies
with the White House.

Hell, you're a good reason that idiot
cinched the Republican nomination.

That's 'cause we destroyed
McCain in the South.

Bush still owes you.

Why not use that? Aim a little
higher when bringing in clients.

Such as?

Such as a Fortune
500 company or two.

You mean rich, white people.

Listen. I've got a situation
in Florida with a client...

a very important client.

Your background in gaming
might help us stickhandle it.

So, Indians?

No. Greeks.

A guy in Florida
named Gus Boulis.

Bankruptcy's just the
tip of his iceberg.

He needs a buyer fast.

It's a very lucrative casino op.

Anybody who can afford
to get in will get rich.

Anyway, Manny said you'd
have some clients...

who might be interested
under the circumstances.

Yeah. Okay, Art.
I'll look into it.

Have you done your davening yet?
Mm-hmm.

Then come to bed.
Kids are asleep. It's late.

What?

What are you thinking? About us.

Seems like only yesterday...

we were kicking around with
the College Republicans.

Remember that time you brought
Pavarotti to Brandeis?

Nobody thought you
could pull it off.

All them lefties
listening to The Clash.

Hey. I like Joe Strummer.

Mmm. Maybe I should have asked him to do a duet
with Pavarotti. That would have been something.

I still love your
dorkiness, hon.

Always thinking out of the box.

Oh, Adrian...

Nobody ever went the
distance with Creed.

If they ring that bell
and I'm still standin',

then I'll know I weren't just
another bum from the neighborhood.

Come to bed.

So this character Gus Boulis
comes down from Canada,

opens up a chain of
sandwich shops in Miami.

Then he cashes out,

and he goes into the
cruise business,

buys a fleet full of yachts.

So, Boulis turns them into floating
casinos, runs out of nine ports.

Tourists, retirees,
some high rollers.

They call it "The
Cruise to Nowhere."

But there's this Florida attorney general
who's got a hard-on for gamblers,

looking for a technicality
to nail this guy.

Problem is Boulis isn't a U.
S. citizen,

which turns out to be a violation
of the Shipping Act of 1916.

And then this idiot gets sloppy
about how he runs the casinos.

He plays fast and
loose with the bets.

He thinks he's still fooling
around with cold cuts.

Blackjack. House wins.

The customers start to complain.

Pretty soon Boulis is catching heavy
grief with his gambling license.

The gist of it is the feds
are forcing him to sell.

He's got months to divest.
Gives me a window.

Gives you a window?
What, are you serious?

No. We're serious.

145 million, dude?
How we gonna swing that?

We're gonna use our most powerful
resource, Mikey: my imagination.

Well, you better imagine us
as rich as the Chippewa then.

So, what do you think of SunSail?
How do you think we should handle it?

We need a front man.

You know, someone strong enough to run a business,
but not so strong we can't control him.

He needs to have his own money...

so he can invest, keep
him loyal, honest.

You know anybody like that?

Kwikee-Mattress.
The last "S" is for "savings"!

The lowest prices in
greater Bethesda,

plus same-day delivery.

The principles of the
Republican Party...

more closely parallel the moral vision
of the God of Abraham than anyone else.

So, the question: Does God...

want people to be... liquid?

And the answer is yes.
The answer is yes.

Prosperity enables us
to do the right thing...

to be able to help
our fellow man,

to be stewards of civilization.

ln biblical times,

taxes never rose above 20%,

which is a lesson we
could learn today.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Republican
Party lights the way for America...

and, may I say, the
rest of the globe.

Ralph.

Really good stuff.
Thanks for coming.

Inspirational, Jack.
Thanks, Congressman.

Jack. Grover.

We need to talk.

Sure thing, Grover.

"Stewards of civilization"?
Beautiful words, Jack.

Well, I only take my cue from the
most powerful man in Congress.

You remember Reverend Mueller from my
home district in Texas, don't you?

Pleased to see you again, Mr.
Abramoff.

You know, it's refreshing to see
both Jews and Christians...

working together to make
this a better world.

I'm inspired, Reverend.

Karl. Nice to see you, Jack.

The president asked me to
tell you to come by soon.

Needs a little help with his golf swing.
Happy to. Thanks, Karl.

Senator. Yeah.

My, uh, clients have a, uh,
substantial check for your campaign.

Really?
I can't thank you enough, Jack.

You know, we're really
lucky to have you.

Hey, hey, hey.
Slow down, you monkeys.

Thank you. Be careful with that.
See you in the car.

Watch your brother, okay, honey?
What did you think of my talk?

Well, except for the part where God
wants us to be financially liquid.

Sounded weird. Oh.

I meant abundant.
It's... It means power.

Remember Exodus 32,
the golden calf?

The worship of the false idol?

Hold the horses.
She's quoting scripture to me.

Why, Pam Abramoff, when we met,
you were reading Cosmo magazine,

mispronouncing all
them Yiddish words.

Kvetch. Schlemiel.

I think I'm getting
the hang of it.

- Jack, nice speech.
- Hey, Adam. Thanks for showing up.

Wow. Really gone for
the whole Jew package.

Oh, I thought it made me look
more like, uh, Don Corleone.

More like Fiddler on the Roof. Hey.
Don't knock Fiddler on the Roof.

lt was transformational for
me when I was a teenager.

Made you want to be a milkman?

No. Made me want
to be a real Jew.

Hmm.

Good-looking family you have.

A big family you have.

Pam, you remember Adam from
the College Republicans?

Hello.

Well, you've done an excellent
job raising the youngsters.

I'm single again.
Swinging bachelor, I guess.

Good luck with that.

Listen. We need to talk.

Can you swing by my house on Sunday?
We'll have dinner.

You mean like a kind of date?

What business could you possibly
have with a man like that?

Honey, he's got a law degree
from Brooklyn College.

He looks like a defendant
on Judge Judy.

Honey.

Have a little compassion.

He's a partner in a
casino in Saint Martin.

He's a respectable guy who knows a lot.
He could be a very useful partner.

Useful for what?

ln five years, our family will
be completely legitimate.

Would you please stop it with that, quoting
movies all the time. It's irritating.

Oh, come on, honey.
You know I love the movies.

And I am a Hollywood producer.

You produced two Dolph
Lundgren movies, okay?

You work in Washington now.

Babe, Washington is
Hollywood with ugly faces.

I'm serious, Jack.

He makes me nervous.

And another thing. I mean, how is that
we're late with the mortgage payment?

We're okay, aren't we?

Oh, yeah. No. This just must
be some accounting thing.

I'll look into it
in the morning.

Don't worry.
Put this on my desk.

I'm watching you walk away.

Still watching you walk away.

Walk away some more.

Everybody wins.

As we all know, the gaming industry
has blown up across America.

This phenomenon has
given great fortune,

not only to our tribe... to
our people in general.

But now we're at risk
of losing everything...

to the competition of
our neighboring tribes.

The point is we need help in
Washington, and we need help now.

And as I said in my
written statement,

Mr. Abramoff here has
my full support...

in recommending that he have only the
best interests of our casinos at heart.

Mr. Abramoff, I've, uh,
read your proposal.

I see you want one million dollars
just as a retainer to start.

Well, you're asking for the best, Mr. Sprague.
We are the best. We can get it done.

You want to kick some ass
on the Hill, we can do it.

Let's kick some ass.

That was Dolph Lundgren, not
Schwarzenegger, in case you were confused.

All right. Look. Here's my advice.
It's free today.

You fellas hire Michael Scanlon and
Capitol Strategies and Ralph Reed here,

who, as some of you may know,

at one time was the very famous right
hand of the Reverend Pat Robertson.

He can organize some high-wattage
Christian opposition...

to this proposed casino
by the Jena tribe...

and do to them what we did to
McCain in 2000... wipe 'em out.

You want $30 million in
fees over three years.

I could be president
myself for that.

It's just too much money.

The money's worth it.
Jack will lobby for us in Washington.

He can help make us one of the most
powerful tribes in the region.

Our people need
more health care.

We need more education,
not influence.

Mr. Sprague, you may not think you
need influence in Washington,

but I'm telling you, to have direct
access to members of Congress...

is gonna influence how
they vote on the very...

Oh. Speak of the devil.

It's the congressional
offices calling.

It's, uh, House majority
leader Tom DeLay.

Excuse me for a
moment, everyone.

Tom, how's it going?
Jack, am I on time?

Everything is terrific here.
In fact, I'm with the Chippewa now.

Remind me not to order the
tuna from the cafeteria again.

Yes. I will, uh, remind them of
what they're up against, sir.

Yeah. And absolutely that they
can count on your full support.

Great, Jack. I'll see you.

Great, Tom. Say hi to the president for me.
I'll call you when I get back.

I'm not bragging...

when I tell you that we can have
effective and direct access...

to members of Congress on behalf
of Screaming Eagle Resort.

Otherwise, this beautiful
casino that you have here...

is gonna shut down tight
and very quickly.

ln the current climate,

we are barely breaking even now.

I say the council votes no.

Sorry, Mr. Abramoff.

I'm going to have to agree.

The council votes at 3:00 today, Mr.
Abramoff.

But, uh,

thanks for coming all this way.

He's seriously messing with
the chi we had flowing.

So Sprague is a subchief
on the council?

It's an elected position.
Poncho has zero juice. Okay?

What the hell is a
ceremonial chief anyway?

Why didn't we know this before we wasted
a hundred grand taking him golfing?

How the hell was I supposed to know
Poncho was the fucking queen of England?

Well, Sprague's gotta go.

When's the next
council election?

You're not talking about messing
with the council election, are you?

Because, you know, you're gonna be in
contravention of the Indian Act of 1968, mister.

Well, let me tell you something.
They're fucking with our bread and butter, Mikey.

I was gonna use that money as the down payment
on the SunSail opportunity with the Greek.

Tell me about it. I just put a huge down
payment on this new house I'm buying.

- What?
- The Du Pont mansion in Rehoboth Beach.

I told you about it.
It's badass.

And I've got a lease on a suite at the
Ritz-Carlton with this killer pool table.

My overhead is insane right now.

You haven't paid off your student loans.
What do you need with a mansion and a pool table?

What? You're buying stuff.

Worthwhile stuff.

All right. Look. Just have Grover
keep Poncho entertained...

and let him tell us mega-fast
when the next election is.

Hey. I was in Florida 2000, dude.
Hanging chads, state troopers.

This is gonna be a cakewalk.
All right?

Tiptoe through the tulips.

Hi there.

Thank you.

Be careful there, Mikey. She probably still
eats her Girl Scout cookies with milk.

Thank you.

Hey, baby doll.

Hi. Whoo!

Who the hell was that girl?

You are so cute.

She's an employee.
You gotta be nice to the help.

For a Jew, I bet you get a
lot of cool Christmas cards.

Oh, we see our share
of Nativity scenes.

Hey. Look at you. Macho man.

Oh, you didn't know I was a
guard at Beverly Hills High?

Once knocked a kid ice-cold out from Inglewood.
Made the papers.

I bet a lot of guys from Beverly
Hills went to the NFL, huh?

Know what I majored in
in high school? Pool?

No. Fuckin'.

Really? How does it feel to
get a "C" in that class?

All right. So you've gone from pool to selling mattresses?
That's quite an upgrade, Adam.

I'm a very successful
mattress businessman.

Really? 'Cause I hear
Kwikee-Mattress is in Chapter 11.

Hey. I sold my franchise for
over seven figures and got out.

Excellent. Because I've got a
new fantastic offer for you.

Like what?

SunSail Casinos.

Offshore gambling?

You know who you're dealing with?
Greenpeace?

Trust me. I know.

Adam, think of the fund-raising
possibilities, all right?

It's like Vegas on crack.
The boats go out beyond the 12-mile limit.

It's an all-cash business.

Use your imagination, Adam.
'Cause I got plans.

Yeah. Plans like Bugsy Malone.

No. Plans like to open up my
own private Hebrew school.

Public education sucks. You have no idea
what my kids have to deal with these days.

Your own school? Yeah.

Plus there's my foundation.
All the charity work I'm doing.

Look. I'm trying to do important
stuff that matters for people.

I...

I...I don't know, Jack.

I'm starting to see Charlie Manson as
my roommate for the next 10 years.

This isn't a bunch of native people.
You're dealing with sharks here.

I'm gonna say no.

But thanks for the $65 steak.
It's delicious.

Adam, just go down to Florida with my
business partner, Michael Scanlon,

and you guys talk to
this Gus Boulis fellow.

You're always asking me to give you something.
"Give me something. Give me something."

Well, now I'm giving you
something, you schmuck.

I was thinking something maybe a
little less hazardous to my person.

I dealt with commies in Nicaragua,
generals in Pakistan.

I've even dealt with
fucking Imelda Marcos.

Why should I be afraid of a
Greek who makes sandwiches?

What's Imelda like?

She likes to play the piano
and sing show tunes.

Really?

Yeah. She's got a
pretty decent voice.

Has all the subtlety
of a Thai whorehouse.

Not that you would know what a
Thai whorehouse looks like, right?

Looks like Boulis is
into family values.

Looks like he hired
his whole family.

Hey, guys.
I'm Chris, Gus's nephew.

Gus is running a little late.

You guys hungry?
You want something to drink?

No, we're fine. I'll have a shot
of Cuervo and two Heinekens.

I told Jack to forget about this place.
It's a fucking reptile cage.

Boulis is doing mega
business here, dude.

This blows. Whatever.
He's just trying to make a statement.

This is how he operates?
We've been waiting an hour.

I don't like it. I'm going back to Miami.
This is nuts. Whoa, whoa.

Hang on. Adam, sit down.

Sit down, okay?
Konstantinos Boulis.

- Sorry to keep you.
- Hey. Mike Scanlon. Pleasure to meet you.

Adam Kidan.

Sorry Jack couldn't be here.
He sends his regards.

You've done well for yourself, Gus.
Nice fleet of boats like this,

dude, you gotta
be a content man.

Yeah. Except for the
fuckin' attorney general.

Because of him, I need to keep
what's left of my sanity.

So, let's cut the crap.

You and Jack plan
to pay my price?

All right. Look.

We can give you 20
cents on the dollar.

That's the best we
can offer, dude.

There's no negotiation.
You pay my price. That's it.

Oh, yes. I keep a 10% interest.
I run the business.

And don't call me "dude."

You talkin' to me? Ah?

Are you talkin' to me?

Ah, it's your move. What the fu...

You make the move. Huh?

Sorry. Jack and his boys
watch too many movies.

Movies? I didn't invite you
here to listen to comedians.

- No, no. No. I was-
- What? You joke with me? Movies?

Fairy tales? Get out!
Whoa, whoa.

Fellas. Hey, hey.
You come back...

when you can show my uncle
some respect, okay?

No. I was just trying
to lighten the mood.

Christos.

Come on. Who doesn't
like impressions, right?

What the fuck?

Well, that went well.

Fuckin' idiot.
Who doesn't negotiate?

I know. I'm telling you.
He's a hard-ass, dude.

You watch me put some hot sauce
in this fucker's tabbouleh.

He's not gonna scare easy. I don't know how
the hell you're gonna get him to negotiate.

Yeah. Well, you know what?
Try the Congress of the United States.

Boulis will turn around, Mikey.
Trust me.

- Hang on. Bob?
- Yeah, Jack.

- Listen. I need a favor for a client.
- Sure. Name it.

- Which tribe are we talking about?
- No. Not Indians. Greeks.

Casino gambling
in South Florida.

I represent the 18th
District of Ohio, Jack.

It's a bit of a hot potato.
Can you deal me a pass on this one?

After the money I've funneled to you this
year, Bob, no, I don't think you get a pass.

All right? I need your help. I need it now.
Mike will send you the details.

Thanks.

So, here's the casino file.

Jack expects to see you on
C-SPAN no later than Thursday.

Tell him he's pushing it.

Bob, he knows how busy you are
with the upcoming fall elections.

ln fact, if I'm not mistaken,

he's organizing a huge fund-raiser
for you next Tuesday.

Thank you, Mr. Speaker.

I am an ardent supporter
of consumer rights.

At the heart of my
comments today...

is how certain gaming companies
treat their patrons.

There are a few bad apples out there
who don't play by the rules...

and who must be, uh,
weeded... weeded out.

One such example is the
case of SunSail Casinos...

and its proprietor, Gus Boulis.

Yeah! Whoo! Yeah!

You is the man. You is the man!

What's all the
noise about, kids?

Oh, hey, Manny. We're just working
hard finding a buyer for your client.

Hey. Good. Glad to hear it.
Any live ones?

Oh, yeah.
We're all over it, Manny.

No shady ones from
the Marianas, okay?

Absolutely.

I serve this country
and no other.

Listen. We need to get everything
we can on this Boulis, all right?

I want you to call our
friends at Fox News...

- and have DeLay hammer Jeb Bush down in Florida.
- Okay.

No. Never mind.
I'll call DeLay myself.

He wants me to hook him up with
the Harvard College Republicans.

Thinks I can make him look good in
front of all those Ivy League monkeys.

Yeah. Good luck with that.
You know what?

He was a pest exterminator
in Laredo, Texas, dude.

That's gonna be a huge
challenge in Cambridge.

Hey, man. He clawed his way up to majority leader.
Now he's got his eyes on the White House.

DeLay? Are we talking
about the same guy here?

He was an alcoholic with famous hot
tub parties before he met God.

What the hell, dude?

What the hell was that?

Never before has an individual...

who's been steadfast
to our principles...

risen as high as House
majority leader Tom DeLay.

Tom DeLay is the most effective...

I would say he was the most
effective whip in the House,

and I would say he's the most
effective majority leader,

and thank God Tom DeLay is the majority
leader in the House of Representatives.

And I would just like to
add one thing to that,

because I'm sure we all want
to hear from Mr. DeLay.

But Tom DeLay is who all of us
hope to be when we grow up.

Tom.

Thanks, Jack.
You truly are my dearest friend.

Senator Jarvis, I have a check for
you from the Choctaw Indians.

Oh.
Press my "easy button," Jack.

And they want to wish you the
best with your campaign.

I want to, uh, congratulate
and thank each of you...

for getting involved in politics
through Young Republicans.

What you're doing is commendable
and important because,

as goes politics, so
goes our country.

Grover. And a weak country
cannot provide the world...

Glad you're on the team.

Jack, you know how I
feel about freebies.

Poncho is the third Indian you've
made me babysit this month.

There is only so much congressmen
at Americans for Tax Reform...

want to be educated about the
benefits of Indian gaming.

Grover.

Well, Grover, how about we fatten
Poncho's donation to A.T.R.,

help you out with your
operational costs?

That'd be a start.
I have a hole in my budget of 75K.

Ouch. All right.
I'll look into it, champ.

Meanwhile, where the
fuck is your evil elf?

Mikey boy? He was supposed to take
Poncho off my hands three hours ago.

You guys want to see
something crazy? Bam!

A million smackeroos, baby.
Give me five.

How sexy am I to you
right now, huh?

Very sexy. Right?

- Sure you're not a drug dealer or something, baby?
- Drug dealer, my ass.

Oh. Your lackey's defending you.

Jack and I are doing
God's work, baby.

And you don't think the
Indian Affairs Committee...

is gonna take issue with all the
high fees you've been charging?

Since when have you become
an expert on Indian affairs?

You're not the only one who knows a thing
or two about Washington, you know.

Those bitches are doing the exact same
thing we are... trying to open casinos.

They're just jealous...

'cause they don't
make as much as you.

You are so right.

Here it is, baby.

Shangri-la, Kubla Khan, Xanadu.

Ooh. Hey. Sorry, babe.

Ah? Oh, my God.

What? You don't like?
This is high-end?

This is like something you'd
find in Southampton, right?

Southampton.
Have you ever been to Southampton?

This is great for
Delaware, dude.

Right? A little bit of
paint here and there.

Come on.
Mike, have you lost your mind?

It's a what?

A Zamboni.

A Zamboni machine for smoothing
out the surface of the ice.

What ice?

The ice for the hockey rink.
A hockey rink?

I don't see a hockey rink.
Well, no. Not here.

It's being built somewhere else.
Honey.

Look. These are all
temporary facilities.

It's all part of the new Eshkol
Academy and Sports Center...

that I'm building for all
these kids... for our kids.

You were serious about
building a school?

Well, of course. You know how I feel about
the education that these kids are getting.

A hockey rink?

Baby, I thought you'd be happy.

I just bought us the biggest
house in the whole damn state.

It's astonishing, dude. Right?

For the Addams Family maybe.

4.5 million?

I can't even believe that you
would pay money for this...

this dump.

Are you kidding me? This place could be
like the Playboy Mansion or something, huh?

It's all part of the
bigger picture, Pam.

Philanthropy. The academy,
the library, my foundation.

The restaurants, the boats, the
hotel... it's all gonna pay for it.

Hotel? Yeah.
I'm looking at a property right now.

The Chitimachas want
to invest with me.

Jack, what are you doing?

Is this why we aren't keeping
up with our house payments?

Honey, think what you want about me, but
this is for our kids and their kids.

They're our priorities here.
Is this even aboveboard?

Joseph Kennedy built up his
entire business empire...

with the help of
the Chicago mob.

Jack, honey, I love you,

and don't take this the wrong way,
but you are completely insane.

Dude, we're gonna rip this crap
out, throw in a sound system.

They will hear us
for miles, right?

A sound system?

What about furniture?
Knock yourself out, baby.

Scanlon.

Mike Scanlon? Yo.

Susan Schmidt with
the Washington Post.

Hi.
What can I do for you, Susan?

Well, I wanted to see if you would
comment on that new minimum wage bill...

the Senate's about to pass with respect to
your textile clients in the Northern Marianas.

Oh. You know, I... I... I don't believe
they have all the votes on that, so...

I don't think that bill's
gonna make it, actually.

Uh, I'm also curious about the
work Preston Gates does...

on behalf of Native Americans.

We're thinking of doing a
report on Indian gaming.

Oh, yeah?
Well, good luck with that.

That should bore your
readers to death.

Really?

Looks like your Mariana
Islands are fucked.

Senate passed the bill.
Minimum wage is on the way.

I'm fucked.

Jack said he'd can me if we didn't
reach the end zone on this one.

Well, I'd better man
up, go break the news.

Try to do that again.

Whoo! Whoo!

Nice.

What's wrong, Ring Ding?
Somebody die?

You guys didn't watch.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

The Senate passed the bill.
The Marianas are fucked.

So, why the long face?
This is great.

Okay. Ye...

Look. Let me... Let me run it down for you, boy.
This is how it works:

Do you have any idea
how much more money...

our clients are gonna have to pay us
to get that bill killed in the House?

ln fact, I'm gonna call them right now,
tell them they gotta double their retainer.

Enid.

Sorry to interrupt you
all so hard at work.

Jack, I need you to see
me for dinner tonight.

Okay.

Here's your menus, gentlemen.
Enjoy your dinner.

The sashimi toro
is excellent here.

No kidding. Not as good as it's gonna
be at my new restaurant though.

I just hired a
top-dollar Tokyo chef.

Five stars.

New restaurant, Tokyo
chef, five stars.

- How you feeling, Jack?
- Perfect. Why do you ask?

No reason, other than I think you may be
suffering from delusions of fuckin' grandeur.

I'm gonna have to let you go.

You violated the
firm's ethics policy.

We asked you to help Gus
Boulis sell his business,

not elbow your way in and
try to buy it yourself.

Your client is difficult. Do you think any
buyer out there is gonna agree to his terms?

- I'm trying to help you out.
- Help us out?

Using Adam Kidan as a front man?

He's a good guy.
He's a respectable businessman.

He's bankrupt, he's been disbarred,
he's a mob-connected sleazeball.

- He's told me he has a clean bill of health.
- Clean bill of health?

I'd say he was a cheap,
fat whore with the clap.

My God, his own
mother was whacked.

What the hell are
you talking about?

If you're doing business with
this guy, then so are we.

You think I want my firm connected
with someone like that?

And, Jack, you know
what's even worse?

You lied to us.

I need you to clean out your
office by the end of the month.

You're done.
You don't think, do you, Manny?

You never got me.
You never have, you never will.

Am I missing some nuance here?

Uh, yeah, I'd say you're
missing some nuance.

You're missing a big
fucking nuance.

The Wall Street Journal is coming out
with a piece called "The Superlobbyist."

Do you know who that is? That's me.
I'm the superlobbyist!

I get paid higher retainer fees than anybody
else in this town, and you goddamn well know it.

And I'm gonna have a new
restaurant, five stars.

Five goddamn stars.

- Anything else?
- I love my kids.

I work out every single day.

You're gonna come out the
losing end of this one, Manny.

You're gonna lose every single one
of those Indian tribes as clients.

And you know what I'm gonna do?

Tomorrow morning, I'm
gonna go outside,

and when "K" Street finds
out that I'm available,

there's gonna be five fuckin' law firms...
top-drawer... who are gonna be dying to hire me.

They're gonna be jumping up and down like
little kids who need to go to the can.

"Let's hire Jack Abramoff!"

Then you should have no
reason to be unhappy.

Absolutely.

Nice piece.

You playing cowboy now
with those Indians?

You've kept me waiting.

Wh...Why'd you get the shooter?

You didn't tell me
about your disbarment.

Not to mention your
fucking bankruptcy.

Not to mention the fucking mobbed-up
connections in Saint Martin.

Not to mention the fucking murder
of your own fucking mother!

- Well, I was gonna tell you.
- When? 2020?

You're a dangerous man, Adam.
That's why I've got the fucking gun.

Okay! So go ahead! Shoot me!

Get in my house. Get in my house.
You're a fuckin' menace.

You know that?

You ought to wear a sign around
your neck as a public service.

"Beware.
Adam Kidan, Fucking Menace."

Where's Pam? With the kids.
I sent her to see her folks.

So you're the married dude, and I'm
like the hot, underage mistress?

Jack, you gotta relax.

Maybe even psychologize, okay?

You gotta ask yourself,
what does Gus Boulis want?

He wants to make millions of dollars and keep
his fucking business. That's what he wants.

What Boulis wants is to keep his
company and sell it at the same time.

He wants both.

So how do we give him both?

What if we quietly kick back Boulis's
10%, call it a consulting fee.

How does that get us the missing
piece of finance? Adam, I'm already...

Look. Jack, we're just a
few deal points away now.

Boulis wants to keep his piece
of the business under the table.

That's against the law.
He'll have to take our I.O.U.s.

For 20 million?
That's a hell of a lot of I.O.U.s, Adam.

No. You're gonna have to
find another way to pay him.

Trust me to handle the formalities.
Sweetheart.

Jack, the boats can be ours after the
weekend, and your money problems are over.

Just keep it legal, okay?

I have a better idea.
Why don't you show me your pussy?

Okay. That's great, Jack.

- Welcome to Greenberg.
- Okay. Down there.

Whoo! All right.

That's the one.

- Now you're getting serious.
- Loving the feng shui in here, buddy.

Here. One thing missing.

Shit.

Looking good, sir.
Looking very good.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, just hang on a sec.
Let me see if I can find him.

Congressman. Listen. Yes, sir.
We need your vote.

Tickets?

Redskins, Sunday? Absolutely.
Not a problem.

I've had the honor
to know Tom DeLay,

the best majority
leader that, uh,

we've had in Congress in the
history of the United States.

All right, daddy-o.
How much if I drain this gonad left-handed?

Oh. Come on.

Twenty-five "K.
" You are a cheap whore.

Come on. It's 50 at least. Look at it.
It's halfway across the tarmac.

All right. Fifty "K.
" You'll never make it.

All right. Here we go.

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

Booyah! Whoo! Fifty g's, G!

- Oh, Mikey.
- What's the matter, brother?

I'm hemorrhaging money like
Niagara Falls out of my ass.

SunSail, the restaurant, the school...
they've all got me strapped.

I'm bouncing checks
all over the place.

And now I'm really out on a limb
with the second restaurant.

What the hell do you need
with a second restaurant?

- Well, one of them's gotta be kosher, right?
- Oh, come on.

There isn't a decent kosher
restaurant anywhere near "K" Street.

- So?
- We need more clients.

You need to chill out, dude.

I got a phone call this morning from
Chief Nokoaht of the Texas Kickapoo.

Nokoaht of the Kickapoo?
You're kidding. We're golden, baby.

He wants to meet with Bush
about oil drilling rights.

I told him he wants to get her done, it's
gonna cost him a million-a-month retainer.

Can you get that
in the end zone?

He loves what we've done with the
Chippewa, baby. Oh, awesome!

If that's true, man, you make
him show you the money fast!

Show me the money! The money!

Whoo!

You do that.

Give me five.
Keep it under the radar.

Congressman, I was on the phone this
very day with the governor of Texas,

who told me personally...

that all of his
congressional districts...

are gonna vote no on the bill.

That is correct.

Uh, Congressman, look.
My, uh... My mother's very ill.

She's on the other line.
Could I call you back? Yes. Thank you, sir.

We did it. We're in. We're in.

We're in like Flynn.

Look at that. Who's Vegas?
Who's Vegas?

You did it, Jack.

Vegas, baby!

Glad to see you're
enjoying the new digs.

You is the man, Oscar.

Glad to have you at
Greenberg, Jack.

Along with the Coushattas, the
Choctaw and the Chippewa.

And don't forget
the Kickapoo too.

Mikey, baby.

Chippewa election central, dude,
in beautiful Saginaw, Michigan.

Oh, man. ¿Qué pasa, "Mike-ito"?

It is perfect timing,
because you know why?

We just closed SunSail.
We own it.

Oh-ho! Sweet!

Dude! Our kwong is
so flowing, daddy-o!

- How goes it down there with all the troglodytes?
- The what?

Troglodyte.

It's... Fuckin' look it up.
What am I, a dictionary?

Dude, listen, listen.
The slate of eight rocked it today. We're in.

Wh...What are you saying?
We won? We did it.

We did it.
Bernie Sprague is out, Poncho is in.

Consider us hired by the Chippewa, dude.
You are gold, you dog!

When it rains, it pours!

All right. We gotta start
talking about billing figures.

I want 20 million from
these monkeys right away.

Yes, Big Chief Rainmaker.

Oh, dude, you have to know Sprague is
super pissed about this whole deal. Okay?

- He took it really hard.
- Oh, yeah. What is that job he's got?

Uh, parks and recreation
commissioner.

Yeah, well, doesn't the
council control it?

- Why don't you just tell Poncho to eliminate the position?
- You got it, man.

Trim unnecessary fat from the budget,
fiscal discipline, yada, yada, yada.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's bad
karma to kick a guy when he's down.

Uh, yeah, right.

Not only are we gonna kick him when he's down,
we're gonna kick him till he passes out.

Then we're gonna beat him over the head with a
baseball bat, roll him up into an old rug...

and kick him off a cliff into
the pounding surf below.

Go take a jog, buddy.

Mr. Abramoff's office.

Yeah, run and get Jack.

Excuse me. Who's calling?

Bernie. Bernie.

Bernie who?

Tell him I'm a rabbi on
the synagogue board.

Uh, Mr. Abramoff's in a meeting.

Uh, can he return?

Tell him he's gonna
have company soon.

Excuse me. Who is this?

Black 22. Black 22.

Are all these bastards
related to Gus?

How do you mean? There's enough staff
in here to run an aircraft carrier.

They're all family. Really?

This isn't the old country.
We're in America.

Wait in my cabin.

Here it is.

This is just today's take? Yep.

Ka-ching.

♪ Over the valley
voices are singing ♪

♪ Bells are a-ringing
Dance, everyone, dance ♪

♪ Come to the valley Run
through the clover ♪

♪ Harvest is over Dance,
everyone, dance ♪

- ♪ Dance where the corn is high ♪
- More corned beef.

We want to make sure all our kosher friends
in Washington are well taken care of.

And they will be here. Right?

♪ Join hands, skip along
Dance, everyone, dance ♪

♪ Turn left, turn
right Hold tight ♪

♪ Lift your feet The
heart will follow ♪

Pam, honey, I promise, only
two restaurants. Oh, Jack.

♪ Spread your wings
like the swallow ♪

♪ Fly away ♪

♪ Greet the day ♪

♪ Dance, dance
Everybody dance ♪♪

Mike. Mike!

Why is Susan Schmidt
trying to reach you?

She just left a message for you
on my cell phone. Ignore her.

She's a nosy reporter
from the Post.

You know Susan's a friend.

Babe, I don't care how many white
wine spritzers you drink with her.

This is business, so fuck her.
I'm not calling her back.

Did you see the electrician up there?
He said he would be here at 4:00.

What do I look like, the help?

You're so useless.
Where the hell do you think you're going?

I'm pretty sure I told you I
have a business meeting, hon.

A business meeting.

What, in your flip-flops?
How dumb do you think I am?

What? I have business
to discuss with Brian.

You have business with Brian?

I love you, but you're getting kinda nuts.
You know that?

I gotta send Brian to Michigan to
help out with the Chippewa deal.

And what part of your dubious dealings
with the Chippewa is Brian a party to?

Baby, Brian is helping us
fight the good fight, okay?

Oh, God, why do l waste my time here
with you and these Delaware weenies?

Yeah, because you'd rather be at some gay
elitist dinner party in Georgetown, right?

- You bet I would.
- Later.

Mike!

Forty-two hundred square feet?

Isn't that just overdoing
it a little bit, Adam?

Hey, how big is your place?

- Yeah, well, I got a family of seven.
- Well, I got people too.

It's a real beauty deal here.
Why shouldn't I have a few perks?

Just try to use a modicum of self-control.
Is that possible?

This isn't exactly Manhattan.
I'm dying of boredom here.

Yeah. Adam, listen to me.
I just spoke to the money people.

The last financials you sent over
don't make any goddamn sense.

I think that's maybe my pizza.

Adam.

I kick your ass, okay?

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Adam, don't hang...

No, go. Go, go, go.

Hey, hey.
See you back at the boat.

Bye.

Oh. Oh.

Twelve people here...
Tanya, Nick, Dimitri.

I'm not the welfare
department, okay?

Finding your relatives
new jobs is not my gig.

My family... they all move here
to Florida because of me.

What happens to them now?
They starve?

You know what? I'm really not having as
much fun here as it might look like.

Okay? And I don't need your
family around skimming the take.

Listen to me, you
dumb Jew bastard!

That wire transfer was a phony!

My nephew, my sister-in-law, all of them,
they all go back on the payroll tomorrow!

Now, you listen to me!
You're out, Gus!

You don't like it, sue me!
I'm not gonna sue you!

I'm gonna kill you!

Since my previous statement, I have
come to learn that SunSail Casinos...

now finds itself
under new ownership.

The new owner has a reputation
for honesty and integrity.

Adam Kidan is most well known...

for his successful
enterprise, Kwikee-Mattress.

But he also well known as a
respected member of his community.

While Mr. Kidan certainly
has his hands full...

in his efforts to clean
up SunSail's reputation,

his track record in business
leads me to believe...

that he will easily
transform SunSail...

from a questionable enterprise...

into an outstanding
establishment...

that the ga... the, uh, gaming
community can be proud of.

- I can't hear you!
- Please stop.

Please...

Please stop. Please.

Please stop.

Please... stop.

Please.

You have reached
the voice mail of...

Mike Scanlon.

This mailbox is full.
Please try again later.

Is Mike in his room?
I haven't seen him this morning.

Oh.

I have some dry cleaning for him to pick up.
Oh, I'll take it.

Mike? Mike!

Mike?

Excuse me.
Does Abramoff know I'm here?

Sir, I already told you Mr.
Abramoff is unavailable.

So if I were you, I
wouldn't waste my time.

Huh.

Dude, seriously, I'm
worried about Emily.

She hasn't returned my
call since yesterday.

Well, you sleep in the
bed you make, my friend.

Oh, thanks for the empathy.
I really appreciate it.

Yeah, well, listen.

You can win anyone over.

Sensible people
always negotiate.

All you have to do is just
make Boulis sensible.

Oh, yeah? Great. Thanks, Jack.
You know what?

I'm sure he's gonna be thrilled
about the bogus wire transfer.

I'm serious, Jack. What am I gonna say
about Kidan's phony wire transfer?

Gus, just let me personally
apologize for Adam Kidan.

He is a social menace.

You gonna apologize for that
phony wire transfer too?

What... What... What
phony wire transfer?

Holy shit!

Gus, that was
Kidan's department.

Had nothing to do with us, okay?

There is nothing that I detest more
than the stench of lies, okay?

He is a... is an errand boy sent by
grocery clerks to collect the bill.

Jack and I have your cash and I
can give it to you right now.

You're all out of SunSail.
As far as I'm concerned, that's it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Gus.
We're reasonable people here.

Let's... Let's... Let's... Talk
to my lawyers, all right?

Well, listen, Jack and l would like
to settle this without lawyers, okay?

How would that happen?

Gus, our new clients, the
Chippewa tribe of Michigan,

just made me the highest paid
lobbyist in our nation's history.

Okay? You know why?
Because we help them, Gus.

And they help us, and we help you.
You help us, you help them, they help you.

That's how it works.
Help who? What?

Listen, the bottom line is we have
serious financial liquidity now,

and we want the opportunity
to prove to you, Gus,

that we can take your 11 boats and turn
them into a fleet of 30 around the world.

Okay?
We're talking about tripling,

possibly even quadrupling
our income in six months.

A floating casino
empire here, dude.

And we want you to be
a major part of that.

All right.
We can make this happen.

I don't want Kidan.

He's a disgusting, fat asshole.
The man groped me in front of Gus.

So Kidan just disappeared
from SunSail.

- How?
- Jack works him like a monkey on a stick.

All right?
You let us handle that.

Your pen face makes
me want to puke!

This is the second time I've been
a victim of family violence.

I had to hire a gorilla...

Oh. Oh. No offense. None taken.

I got a court order.

Gus Boulis can't
come near the boats.

I've rented an armor-plated
car 'cause of that psychotic.

Did you ever think that he might be mad at you
for giving him a check for $23 million...

that's absolutely
fucking worthless?

I'm talking about
my physical safety!

His people are moving our
slots off our boats!

He's capable of all manner
of strong-arm shit!

Well, just don't do
anything stupid.

Hey, I think you
broke something.

Well, Adam, we break
something, we fix it, right?

He is the all-time champ bastard
motherfucker of all time!

And I think you'll agree it's time
Gus Boulis was gone from SunSail!

- Ow!
- Let us go talk to him.

I know how you talk to people.
You're as subtle as a fucking chain saw.

Look at you!

Go all right?

Couldn't even get
through the front door.

Something interesting happened
with Walter over at the casino.

- He did an annual audit.
- Oh, yeah?

Nothing matched. The accountant said
that none of Abramoff's figures add up.

We're paying for hundreds of thousands
worth of lunches at his restaurant.

$200,000 for his
Redskins skybox.

But it's well known he helped other
tribes save billions of dollars in taxes.

And that so-called grassroots
campaign against the Jena?

lt was made up of three people handing
out a few dozen Kinko's flyers.

The guy took us for
a bunch of suckers.

Son of a bitch is no good.

He's now preying on the
Kickapoo and the Choctaw.

Look, you tell me it's about
taking care of things.

So l...I'll even give you a
financial piece of the casino.

I just don't want to take any
more chances with this guy.

I don't know, Adam.

Tony, we're old friends.
Don't make me beg.

You know, I had an uncle
who was half-Jewish.

He used to relax me.

Give me your hand.

Give me your hand, palm up.

Palm up. He used to go...

Ow!

Fuck.

He scared me and relaxed
me at the same time.

Anyway, from what you tell me,
this goof, this fucking Greek...

deserves a broken leg at least.

No, no, no. Violence sickens me.

I can hit him in
the fucking head.

No! No! No shooting, please.

Look, you'll come down
there and you'll be a...

What?
The ship's catering director?

What do I know about cooking?

So you'll learn to make gyros.
Can it be that difficult?

- Gyros? What's a "gyros"?
- "Heroes."

Listen to me. I'm telling you now
like I would tell my own son.

I've been in this
business 50 years.

The correct move...

is to whack him.

No. Tony, listen.

You should know there's
important people involved.

Political people.
High up. Way high up.

And there's a lot of money involved.
Hundreds of millions of dollars.

Everything is very,
very, very sensitive.

Okay. I got it covered.

Got it covered.

What about Abramoff?
Is he okay with this?

Jack? He'll never come down.
He's in D.C.

Besides, I got the guy baffled.

Okay.

I need 40 grand right away.

I just want you to make sure Gus Boulis never
attacks me again with a fucking ballpoint.

It's not funny.

- A fucking pen.
- It's not funny.

All right. Hey, listen.

Why don't you go on a vacation?

Don't worry. I'll be nice.

Jack, the I.M.F.
is never going to allow the Russians in...

until Putin deals with
the human rights issues.

Come on. You don't think we
have influence in Moscow?

I don't care! I'm sick and tired of waiting!
I've come from Michigan!

- I know the son of a bitch is back here someplace.
- Excuse me! Excuse me!

- Get your hands off me!
- You cannot come in here!

You have no right to go
by reception like that!

Hey, let's talk about the 20 million you
took off my people, you and Scanlon.

- Never mind hiding in
your goddamn office.

- Yeah.
- Look, I came all the way from Michigan to talk to you!

From today on, Jack, I'm
gonna make you my hobby.

Who was that guy?

Bad karma. Anyway, I know
people who know Putin.

Ms. Miller?

I'm Agent Hanley.
Please, come in.

Uh, you have something you
wish to report? I do.

Ms. Miller, is this
a federal issue?

You bet.

It's a little
embarrassing, Jack.

Look, he's a Jewish kid
from the West Bank...

who's tired of having Ηamas lob
rockets into his neighborhood.

He wanted to build a sniper
school, I helped him out.

With a shipment of a thousand
night-vision goggles?

Okay. We make a lot of money, right?
Don't you think it's our obligation to help too?

It's good karma.
You bought them from the Russians, Jack.

I got a lot of good
contacts in Moscow now.

Jack, Newsweek is calling
you a Zionist thug.

You got that Time
magazine article?

The same week that Newsweek
calls me a Zionist thug,

Time magazine accuses me of
supporting Islamic terrorism...

because I gave money to Grover to help
him mobilize Republican Muslims in Ohio.

The press are maniacs.
You know that.

A lot of people are talking, Jack.
You're drawing too much attention to our profession.

Bunch of wusses.

Jack, this isn't the '90s anymore.
Look around. It's post 9/11.

Bill Clinton isn't running around
boasting about budget surpluses...

and drinking Krug out
of crystal flutes.

Bill Clinton is the best thing
that ever happened to Washington,

and I say that as a Republican.

Let me spell it out for you.

"K" Street doesn't like
the limelight, Jack.

The partners and l are
giving you a warning.

You're wrong on this.

Susan Schmidt, Washington Post.

Susan, Emily Miller.

I'd like to talk to you
about Mike Scanlon...

and the Chippewa Indians.

270 "P" Street, please.

Hey. Who the hell asked
you to sit down, pop?

Mr. Boulis,

you don't return phone calls.

Yeah, well, I work for a living.
I'm busy.

Well, I mean, you got a
nice operation here.

But it's rude, see?

Could I have a cracker?
I'm starving.

Who the fuck are you, I
should return your calls?

I'm looking after Mr. Kidan now.

His interests are my interests.
He's with me.

Adam fuckin' Kidan
can suck my prick.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

And no goombah wop is
gonna waste my time.

Oh.

Well, maybe I should explain to you
who I am before this goes too far.

I know who you are.

You're the senior citizen
fucking Al Capone.

I'll cut your fucking throat.
Okay, gramps?

Oh, okay.

All right, fine. I'll go.

I don't bother you no more.

Listen, trust me, Chief.
Bernie Sprague is becoming a problem.

Yeah? Can you help me
out with this guy?

Your guy Scallion
told me to fire him.

Scanlon. Look, can you just
give him his job back?

lt doesn't exist anymore.
Scanlon eliminated it.

Right?

Well, look, you know, I can't...

Musharraf. I've met Musharraf, okay?
Newt Gingrich knows my name.

I don't need this guy. Can you just give
him some job and get him off my back?

Hey, Jack, guess what.

What?

I got the new H2
in metallic red.

It's fully loaded and it
is fucking beautiful!

Great. Hope you enjoy it.

Enid!

There he is.

He ain't such a tough
guy now, is he?

Gyro.

You know, this oughta make that
fat Jew happy for a change.

Forget Kidan. If he doesn't do what we
say with SunSail, it'll be him next.

Go!

Emily? Baby?

Em?

You here, baby?

Baby.

And over here we have a beautiful
portrait by Aaron Shikler...

of our 35th president,
John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Adam, Adam, what are you talking about?
Are you nuts?

You said you wanted Gus
Boulis gone from SunSail.

Five shots in the head.
Five shots in the head.

That's what you think I was
suggesting, you fucking moron?

Well, I asked him to be my
caterer, not whack the guy.

Anyway, you were over a thousand miles away.
They can't connect us to it.

Are you serious?

Do you have any idea that the grand
jury is sitting right now...

discussing fraud on
the wire transfer?

God, why did I even get involved in SunSail?
What was I thinking?

Oy vey.

So now we got blood
on our hands?

Oh, no. No, no, no. They're not coming after me.
They're coming after you, Adam. You know why?

Because I know those guys at Justice and
they jerk off thinking about guys like you.

My right hand to God, Jack,
I wish I'd never met you!

Fuck you! Fuck you, you
stupid, goddamn fatty!

What? You're the one who's fat!

You fat, fat, fake Jew fuck fat!

Eat me, you goddamn
fat cocksucker!

Sorry. Little issue on the Hill.

Presidential
portrait collection...

What?

Mr. Abramoff, Congressman DeLay
needs you to come to his office.

Yes, well, if you'll tell Tom...

that I'm currently in the White House about
to see the president of the United States.

I have Chief Nokoaht of
the Kickapoo with me.

Congressman DeLay says you should
drop whatever you're doing...

and come to his
office immediately.

- The president will see you now.
- I have to call you back.

Mr. President.

How you doing there, buff guy?
Looks like you been working out.

Mike!
Mike, listen to me, all right?

Why... Listen.
This could be very serious.

Why is the Washington Post calling
DeLay about the Chippewa?

His secretary says he's freaking out
about a story they're running tomorrow.

Jack... me and Emily broke up.

Oh, well, you know, buddy,
you got my condolences.

But, you know, he's about
to rip my head off.

No, no, no! Listen!
Emily found out about the stewardess Crystal.

But this could be serious, Mike.
Pay attention.

No, Jack, you're not listening!

She found Crystal's panties
in my dry cleaning,

and she got super-fucking pissed
and went to the F.B.l., dude!

She knew everything about "give me five," Jack.
She had no mercy!

You told Emily Miller
about "give me five"?

How could you be
so fucking stupid?

We were getting married!
She wanted us to share everything, Jack!

You're married! You know what it's like!
Come on, man!

Mike, what the fuck
were you thinking?

Hey! Hey! Hey!
I have my priorities too, man!

You should have been thinking of me!
I'm your fucking priority!

Oh, right! Right!

So when I'm in the pen catching it
from some big black dude named Busta,

I'll be thinking of
Jack fucking Abramoff!

We're fucked, dude!
It's totally over!

Jack!

He's waiting for you.

Hey, Tom.

Come on in here, Jack.

My, uh, secretary told you about
how concerned I am about this, uh...

this story coming out in
tomorrow's Washington Post.

Look, they're probably gonna
bury it in the National section.

Indian gambling is a very dull subject.
Trust me.

What in the hell were
you thinking, boy?

Tom, I don't know what this
story is about. I haven't...

You listen to me!

I did not claw my way out of the
mosquito-infested flatlands of Laredo, Texas,

to become majority leader of
the United States Congress...

only to be brought down
by a no-good lying J...

Jack, you remember
Reverend Mueller...

from my home
district, don't you?

Yes.

Take a seat, Mr. Abramoff.

You got a lot to
answer for, Jack.

And there's just so much
I don't understand.

But first, I think it's
important that we, uh,

sit here together as
men of faith and pray.

Reverend.

Jack.

ln the name of our
Lord Jesus Christ.

Dear Lord, as we sit here under
the shadow of a gathering storm...

You know, I think
my life is over.

Honey, I don't mean to change the subject,
but when did you start smoking?

lt is the Sabbath, you know.

Jack, have I not always
been straight with you?

Not always the good
mother and devoted wife?

Of course you have.

Then I think you should just,
you know, go to whoever,

confess and, like,
get it over with.

Confess?

I have no idea who
killed Boulis.

Who's gonna believe you, Jack?

And what about all of
this Indian gaming stuff?

Honey, I haven't done anything that every
other lobbyist in Washington does.

Charging high fees... Everybody knows I save
those Indian tribes billions of dollars.

Jack, they're saying that you were
hiding the money you were making...

by splitting it with
Scanlon under the table.

Honey, that's no different
than what Ralph...

Look, that's just a
technicality, really.

Look, I'm gonna sell
the restaurants.

I'm gonna hire the most
aggressive lawyer I can find.

Those assholes out there are
accusing me of selling access?

What the fuck do you think everybody on
"K" Street does? We all sell access!

That doesn't make
it right, Jack.

Goddamn it! Stop justifying it!

It's all bullshit!

Maybe you're right, honey.

I just got caught
up in all of it.

I should have never gotten in
business with someone like Kidan.

And I got greedy
with the tribes.

And I worry now...

I worry so much that
I've let down God.

How about me and your kids?

What about letting
down me and the kids?

That's okay. It's okay.

We're gonna be okay.
We're gonna be okay.

I got lots of friends
on the Hill.

We have no friends, Jack.

None.

All we have are people
you do business with.

I have a statement I'd
like to make at this time.

The good Lord has always told me the
difference between right and wrong.

All I can tell you now is that if
someone is trading on my good name...

to get clients or make money,

it is unconscionable, it is illegal
and he should stop immediately.

I am absolutely outraged by the dishonest
and duplicitous words and actions...

of Jack Abramoff.

NBC News ln-Depth tonight, a former
super lobbyist in Washington...

A lobbyist named Jack Abramoff...

Abramoff and his friends...

are some of the biggest players
in the conservative revolution.

They believe corruption and
illegal activities are a problem.

Mushroomed into multiple
investigations.

Exploiting Indian tribes,
buying members of Congress...

Potentially bad news for
leading members of Congress...

Could prove to be the... the biggest
congressional scandal of the century.

Could spell big trouble for
some big-time lawmakers.

Well, there are a lot
of people scared.

This whole thing's turning
into the Enron of lobbying.

How the hell are we
gonna cope with that?

Look what happened with those
accountants for Enron.

They failed to cooperate and the government
took away their license to do business.

I figure we make reparations
to the Tiguas, Choctaws,

the Chippewas and
the Agua Caliente.

- That ain't hay.
- Hey, guys, you're...

You're costing us
70 million, Jack.

Oh, that much? Do you know how
much money I saved those Indians?

Look, Jack, they're saying that you and Scanlon
defrauded those tribes of the 70 million.

That money's gotta
come from somewhere.

Who the hell do you think's gonna pay for this?
We are sitting in shit here, Jack.

Do you have any idea, any of you, how
much money I give away every day?

How soon can you be
out of your office?

Jack!

Uh...

- I need a couple of weeks.
- You have 30 minutes.

For God's sake, you're on the front
page of the Washington Post.

Again?

Is it above the fold?

Enid. Enid?

Would you put a call in...

to my old friend Simon
Bowler at Paramount?

Paramount Pictures.
It's a movie studio in Hollywood.

Call him, and tell him I
want to set up a meeting...

because I've got a great movie
idea I want to pitch to him.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh, Jack.

Jack, how are you? I didn't think
you still had the film bug in you.

Ah, you never lose it.
And you know what?

The folks in Washington... they love movies,
even if they pretend that they don't.

I mean, every week George Bush calls me to
ask me, "What movie should I be screening?"

At the White House?

You're damn right.

You've been getting a
lot of press lately.

Feeling the heat?

Oh, no, no, not at all. It'll all blow over.
It's par for the course.

So you're here to pitch
us an idea for a movie.

Based on the Old Testament.
A biblical epic.

A kind of retelling of
the Ten Commandments,

only this time, it's
called Pharaoh's Thorn.

All right?
Now, here's the great modern twist.

It's kind of a Bourne ldentity, action...like
Moses leading his people out of Egypt.

Russell Crowe,
perfect for Moses.

I think we can get
Ridley to direct it.

Now, listen, man, this
film is epic in scale.

CinemaScope. Big story.

Russell Crowe leading his people
out of Egypt to the promised land.

Happy ending!

Excuse me. Yes?

Jack Abramoff?
This is Agent Patterson with the F.B.I.

Yes?

Michael Scanlon?

Yeah.

Oh, hey, guys. Come on in.

Hey!

Let me call my wife.

What about my phone call?
Let me call my wife.

I'm sorry.

The right of individuals, groups and
corporations to lobby the federal government...

is protected by the
right to petition...

in the First Amendment of the
United States Constitution.

Huh? So, what's the problem?

Honestly, I don't know.

I don't know.

Very nice that you finally
have decided to cooperate.

Look, I know you wanted me to do it for a while,
but we finally talked about it as a family...

and that's the decision
we've reached.

Right. There's one tiny problem.
What's that?

You're a little late.
Michael Scanlon has beat you to the punch.

He negotiated a signed deal
with Justice on Tuesday.

Does that mean Jack
can't make a deal?

I'm sorry, Pam.
They don't need him.

They don't need you.

He kept track of everything... e-mails,
phone conversations, the lot.

He was saying how the two of you scammed
the tribe of almost $20 million,

how the two of you
conspired to bribe Ney.

The trip to Scotland and
meals at your restaurants...

It's all out there.

They're calling it the stream of things of value.
Well, that is bullshit.

- It's a technicality. He knows it.
- Well, it's all out there.

He's given all this
shit to Justice?

Well, you know what? Your good buddy used
you as his "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Now, I'm afraid I got more
good news for you folks.

The Indian Affairs Committee has
asked to make formal inquiries.

They're gonna subpoena you
before a Senate hearing.

A Senate hearing?

Jack has helped half of the Senate get
reelected, and now they're gonna...

Isn't there someone we can call?

Who's the head of the
Indian Affairs Committee?

John McCain.

What are you gonna do?

I'm... I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna tell them I was doing my goddamn job.
That's what I was doing. My job.

Jack!
They are not gonna play nice.

Do you understand that? I strongly suggest
that you go in there and plead the Fifth.

The Fifth?
I might as well say I'm guilty.

I will not plead the Fifth!

I'd like to thank Senator McCain.
Thank you, Senator Jarvis.

I want to thank you and the
vice chairman and staff...

for your tremendous effort on
behalf of this investigation...

and your continued dedication
and effort of many years...

on behalf of Native Americans.

Mr. Chairman, etched in the
history of our great nation...

is a long and lamentable chapter about
the exploitation of Native Americans.

lt began with the sale of Manhattan
and has continued ever since.

Mr. Abramoff,

you had a relationship with a number
of native tribes, did you not?

Is it fair to say you felt these
tribes were gullible and naive?

Senator, on the basis
of the Fifth Amendment,

I respectfully decline
to answer the question.

This tribe was never told...

about the secret scheme that allowed
Jack Abramoff and Michael Scanlon...

to take over $40 million for
services dubiously rendered.

Senator, I respectfully invoke
the privileges as stated.

You can continue dodging questions, Mr.
Abramoff,

yet you rip off my
fellow Native Americans,

you refer to them as
"monkeys" and "troglodytes"?

Senator, I respectfully invoke
the privileges as stated.

This is the most extraordinary pattern
of abuse and criminal conduct...

that has been before this committee the
entire 18 years I have served here.

Mr. Abramoff, you've proven
yourself to be callous...

and to only have been...
all about the money.

Do you not feel any shame?

Senator, I respectfully invoke
the privileges as stated.

While these accounts of unscrupulous
men are sadly familiar,

the tale we hear today is not.

What sets this tale apart, what
makes it truly extraordinary...

is the extent and degree of the
apparent exploitation and deceit.

Mr. Abramoff, have you
nothing to say for yourself?

Senator, I respectfully
invoke the privileges as...

No.

Jack.

No. I no longer wish to
invoke the privileges.

- Jack...
- I have something to say, and I'm gonna say it.

Just be quiet. No, no, no.

ln fact, if we want to talk
"all about the money,"

why don't we start with
the four $5,000 checks...

I personally handed to Senator
Jarvis for his reelection campaign.

And we know what that money was
all about, don't we, Senator?

Or how about you,
Senator Burman?

I donated $30,000...

to influence your vote to keep
the Marianas open for business.

Remember?

And what about you,
Senator McCain?

You should be sitting in the seat
that I'm sitting in right now.

For years you've taken tens
of thousands of dollars...

from lobbyists just like me,

representing competing
Indian tribes...

who wanted to open up their own casinos
that would have shut my clients down.

Sir, you're out of order!

This man, this son of
a bitch is guilty.

And if he's allowed to go free,

then there's something
really wrong going on here.

- Sir, you are out of order!
- Out of order?

You're out of order!
You're out of order!

You're all out of order!

This whole Senate hearing
is out of order!

- Seize him!
- Remove that man!

I've got a whole panel of senators
who love to take money...

from anybody who's got a
fucking bank account!

And you call me a fraud?

You fucking hypocrites!
You fucking hypocrites!

You ought to stand
for something!

You should protect the people!

Hold on! Hold on!

I have just completed
my opening statement.

Mr. Abramoff.

Mr. Abramoff.

Jack.

Senator, I respectfully invoke
the privileges as stated.

And I'd say to you, Mr.
Abramoff, shame on you.

Who the hell are you trying to look like?
Look, it's Michael Corleone!

Hey, John Gotti!
You're a thief and a racist bum!

We pray for you, Jack Abramoff!

Mr. President, at the
end of the day...

I was vilified as Satan...

and ordered to pay restitution of more
than $21 million to the Indian tribes...

as well as 1.7 million to the I.
R.S.

Adam Kidan was sentenced
in Florida in March, 2006,

to six years in prison for
conspiracy and fraud...

in the purchase of the SunSail
Casinos gambling fleet.

Bob Ney was sentenced
in January, 2008...

to two and a half years in prison for
allegedly taking bribes from me.

In 2005, Anthony Moscatiello
and Anthony Ferrari...

were charged with the
murder of Gus Boulis.

In 2006, Tom DeLay stepped
down as majority leader...

and resigned his seat in Congress after
being indicted by a Texas grand jury.

In 2009, he appeared on the ABC
hit show Dancing with the Stars.

My two old buds,
Grover and Ralph...

they never faced charges
of any kind. Fuck.

And poor Kevin Ring, well, he's looking
at five years in federal prison.

As for Mike,

well, he's still free and has taken up
work as a Rehoboth Beach lifeguard...

as he continues to stay out of jail
while cooperating with investigators.

Is President Bush involved, Mr.
Abramoff?

Mr. Abramoff! Here! Here!

Is the White House involved?

It's like we're starring
in our own movie.

Sorry, honey.
Just trying to lighten the mood.

Get it, get it, get it.

Hey.

Made bail, huh?

Yeah, so far.

Looks like.

Thanks for coming, Jack.

Pam would be furious with me if she
knew I was even talking to you.

We're still friends, right?

"I know it was you, Fredo.

You broke my heart."

Right? You broke my heart.

Or as Harry Truman once said,

"If you want a friend
in Washington, D.C.,

get a dog."

Jack, you have no idea...

how much pressure they
put on me at Justice.

I'm sorry, bro.

That's okay.

My lawyer tells me you only beat
me to it by about two minutes.

The student becomes the master.

Your serve.

You're a good kid, Mikey.

I'll miss you.

I was sentenced to six years...

at a federal correctional institution
in Cumberland, Maryland.

Pam and the kids visit
me on weekends.

I spend the rest of my time
leading a Jewish prayer group...

Now, guys, you all
have a story, right?

And teaching a screenwriting
class to my fellow inmates.

Act Two, a reversal
of that incident.

That's why if you look
at movies like Psycho...

Occasionally, I'll find time to throw
darts at a photograph of George W. Bush.

If it wasn't for all the money
I helped pour into Florida,

that idiot would never
have left Texas...

and I think you'd agree
we'd all be better for it.

And despite the fact that
the Justice Department...

recommended my sentence be
reduced by two years...

for fully cooperating
with investigators,

on his last day in office...

Bush refused to
even consider it.

You see, to this day...

I remain the Republicans'
worst nightmare.

Not because I'm an icon to an era
most people would prefer to forget,

but because once
I'm out of here...

God has given me a new mission...

to remind the world what a bunch
of hypocrites they all are.

You see, Mr. President, it's
time to think out of the box.

- I know it's a moon shot,
- Thank you.

but in writing you this letter
to a former president...

who understands very well
how the game is played,

I hope you might see
my point of view...

and consider making an appeal
to the right Democrats...

who might find it
useful to help me...

so in turn I can
help all of you.

Time's up, Jack. Why?

Because my name
is Jack Abramoff,

and I work out every day.

Never before has an individual...

who has been steadfast
to our principles...

risen as high as Tom DeLay.

Tom DeLay is the most effective...

He was the most effective whip
in the House of Representatives,

and I would say he is the most
effective majority leader.

And thank God Tom DeLay is the
majority leader in the House.

Hear! Hear!

I'll just, uh... just add one
more... one more piece to it,

'cause I think, uh, w...we really
need to hear from Mr. DeLay.

But Tom DeLay is who all of us
want to be when we grow up.

- Hear! Hear!
- Congressman DeLay.