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1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,606
Principle
Vagina: Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,430
thank you for taking time
off work to come in.
3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,467
So, what's this about,
Principal vagina?
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,010
Yeah, what is this about?
5
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,095
You're not a leaner.
You don't have that in you.
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,806
Go sit at your desk like the
outer city principal you are.
7
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,433
Morty! Summer! Stop.
8
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,018
Their latest offense
had students
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,163
packing their gums with
this...
10
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,147
This growth gives users
perfect memories.
11
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,107
And there's no right way
to put this...
12
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,026
the student body now do nothing
13
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:29,446
but relive their
intimate achievements.
14
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,615
Yes, more!
More canola oil!
15
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,284
Add to that Morty replacing
himself with ninja clones,
16
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,828
Summer making toilets
chant your weight when you sit,
17
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,623
and this is their third
sci-fi strike this semester.
18
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,125
Morty and Summer
are officially expelled.
19
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,836
Expelled? Can't you just
suspend them with pay?
20
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,463
What has gotten into you two?
21
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,549
You're unrecognizable
lately...
22
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,806
Mom gets red when she's angry.
23
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,558
Do we have any canola oil?
24
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,351
Ugh!
25
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,812
Add muting adults to the list.
26
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,375
So I wasn't having
a mental breakdown.
27
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,897
Phew! Quit
summoning me like this.
28
00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:06,483
People are gonna think
I'm a genie.
29
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,527
Dad, the kids just got expelled
30
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,654
for being high-concept assholes.
31
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,742
Turning people into carrots
32
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,345
won't help you beat
the genie allegations.
33
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,329
I won't dignify that
with a response, Jerry,
34
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,373
but I will make you
a carrot at some point.
35
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,376
Too much. Too much!
36
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,020
My bones were my skin
and my organs were frozen
37
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,670
in the orange marrow
my blood became.
38
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,691
Oh, dear. The kids aren't
expelled. They aren't expelled!
39
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,842
A! All A's! Every class!
40
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,820
Dad, this
is why they're so spoiled.
41
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,013
You bail them out before
they ever learn a lesson.
42
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,181
Yeah, you turned out
so awesome without him.
43
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,890
Don't give Rick
that much credit,
44
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,226
he's not bailing us out,
45
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,853
he's being a lazy piece of shit.
46
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,187
The fuck you just say?
47
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,023
Ugh! Little bitch
Ninja-logged me.
48
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,691
See? Okay, you win.
49
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,610
I heard about this
sleepaway camp off-world.
50
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,878
that
rich people ship their spoiled kids to.
51
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,196
You're sending them away?
52
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,115
Shouldn't you be
handling it yourself?
53
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,884
This is me handling it.
54
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,553
You want me to find a switch?
Bend 'em over?
55
00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,703
Give 'em the ol' hot seat?
56
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,204
I know you're being sarcastic,
57
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,557
but I don't like
the excitement in your voice.
58
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:03,957
Good. Oh, whatever.
59
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,602
Keep turning your problems
into carrots.
60
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,628
Beth!
61
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,211
Pack your shit.
62
00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:45,582
This is bullshit.
63
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,435
How else are we supposed to
treat our normie-ass classmates?
64
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,086
We're literally
in space right now.
65
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,587
Yeah, why do we get punished
66
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:51,814
for being better than everyone?
67
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,757
Because you aren't. I am.
68
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,634
You two are remora...
too fucking spoiled
69
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,260
to know you're mooching
off a shark.
70
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,595
Ugh! Whatever, bro.
71
00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,781
Me and Summer have grown so much
72
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,931
we arced onto same page.
73
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,808
But I guess we haven't grown
74
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,852
as much as your
fucking bald spot.
75
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,270
Yeah, you dumb bitch!
76
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,939
It's pickleball-sized now.
Oh, wow. Wow!
77
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,858
Look at Beyoncé,
rolling up the partition.
78
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,948
Ho ho! Did I make the cover?
79
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,467
I can't believe
you wanted to,
80
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,534
you fucking loser.
81
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,952
Goddamn it!
82
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,346
His thirsty ass picked up
on the first ring.
83
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,454
What are you doing?
84
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,817
Reminding you who the shark
is.
85
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,714
Oh! Thank God.
86
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,340
It's... over...
87
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,307
If you thought
that dial was bad,
88
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,468
check out this button.
89
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:47,811
On your feet, maggots!
90
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,813
Move! Move! Move! Move!
Let's go!
91
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,833
Listen, whatever
this is, I can't dig holes all summer.
92
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,334
I have gentle hands,
piano player's hands!
93
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,985
Well, put those hands to work...
94
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,237
Doin' whatever
the fuck you want!
95
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,531
So, just to be clear?
96
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,867
The
kids took over the camp.
97
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,203
Oh! Uh... g-good?
98
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,331
You feel that? The AC?
99
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,501
Beth, you know, if it's over
65 degrees, I get hives.
100
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,004
No. This is the first time
we've had the house
101
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,214
to ourselves since...
102
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,091
I know she keeps drugs in here.
103
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,010
She's 17 and hangs out
with my dad.
104
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,179
Ooh,
I think I found some.
105
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,182
Oh, thank God. I mean... oh, no.
106
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,350
Not sure what goes
in what orifice. Ooh.
107
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,561
This looks familiar enough.
108
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,946
Still got it.
109
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,574
Huh. Do you feel anything?
110
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,367
I mean...
111
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,036
I'm feeling...
112
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,043
G-great.
113
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,878
We should steal a car!
114
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,713
Beth? Future carrot?
115
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,089
I dropped off the little freaks.
116
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,976
You two wanna grab a drink?
Shh.
117
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,760
We... we aren...
118
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,386
We aren't home.
119
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,971
What? U-oh, Beth, gross.
120
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,723
Just don't reply next time.
121
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,392
Ahh.
122
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,645
How'd Summer
get drugs from Japan?
123
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,814
What even is this stuff?
124
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,739
Oh, man, we totally
had you guys.
125
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,241
It's not a real camp anymore.
126
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,952
We campers overthrew
the counselors years ago.
127
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,162
Years ago. Yeah, ya goofy hoes!
128
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,622
We run this shit now.
129
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,290
Anything you want? We got.
130
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,251
Anything you wanna do? You do.
131
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,169
Can I fire a bazooka
on a skateboard?
132
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,754
C'mon, you know the answer.
133
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,089
Oh, my God, I'm gonna do it.
134
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,299
So what happened
to the counselors?
135
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,592
Murdered 'em.
136
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,929
Fuck. Oh, God.
137
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,430
That's where we dump our lame.
138
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,765
Pretty sick, right?
139
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,143
Sickly... awesome.
140
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,312
Let's give 'em a tour.
141
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,273
Oh. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
142
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,775
Is he okay?
Oh, God. Who gives a shit?
143
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,111
That's the amphitheater.
144
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,630
Great place to get fucked.
145
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,282
That's the archery range.
146
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,117
Perfect place to get fucked.
147
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,451
That's the cafeteria.
148
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,120
Super awesome place...
We get it.
149
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,831
But where does everything else,
like, come from?
150
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,291
A bunch of us have trust funds,
151
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,126
so we just DoorDash
anything we want.
152
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,461
Greek food incoming.
153
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,297
And... no tip.
154
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,632
What, I didn't see him make it.
155
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:26,177
Excuse me, Edward Merlot
Hands coming through.
156
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,014
Look, you're the first kid
to show up here in ages.
157
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,015
So, uh...
158
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,391
Do you two solemnly swear
159
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,185
to dedicate your life
to the party?
160
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,648
Woop woop! Yeah!
161
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,668
I'm gonna party 'til my face
fucking face melts off!
162
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,989
Well, I guess being
high forever isn't all bad.
163
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,699
I'll lose my job and...
and... and, uh,
164
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,826
try to understand
Jackson Pollock paintings.
165
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,661
It was a visualization
of suicide.
166
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,496
Aw, it totally was.
167
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,998
You ruined it!
168
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,666
Are we really gonna be
high forever?
169
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,001
C-Can we Google this?
170
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,878
We can Google anything.
171
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,341
Oh, Jer Bear, look!
172
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,009
They have some version of Narcan
173
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,403
at a pharmacy
the next solar system over.
174
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,012
How are we supposed
to get there?
175
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,181
My dad has a way to hail
space cabs in the garage.
176
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,350
Come on.
How's this not needing him?
177
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,686
Cause we're doing it
behind his back.
178
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,858
How do these work again?
179
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,194
Like this, watch.
180
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,528
Oh, wow.
181
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,074
Oh, that's way easier!
182
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,533
You can't back out of this deal.
183
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,534
I got a pallet full
of people-sized carrots.
184
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,555
"Not your problem?"
185
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,247
Oh, it's about to be.
186
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,541
If we make irregular rhythms...
187
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,044
...he can't
hear us under there.
188
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:44,047
He's your dad,
not the god of Arrakis.
189
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,551
All right, Zarz Dinnarz
will be here
190
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,388
in what I'm guessing
is three minutes...
191
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,723
Oh, that was seconds.
192
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,433
Hey! For, um, Rick?
193
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,436
You may enter me.
194
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,063
Uh, okay.
195
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,566
Ah! Please sit still.
196
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,736
I have taken a form
your butts desire.
197
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,447
Oh, my God,
this is the exact limo
198
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,490
we took to prom.
199
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,909
Those can't be real pretzels?
200
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,428
Oh, isn't this amazing?
201
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,496
It's like we're hanging out
as kids again.
202
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,416
Oh, everything's slick
like a womb.
203
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,251
Oh, I need to get baby-sized.
204
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,795
If I'm born, I'll rip my mother
from crack to crack!
205
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,088
Everything okay back there?
206
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,090
Uh, do you have
an umbilical cord?
207
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,300
What? Are you people high?
208
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,094
Oh, we shouldn't
have done this, Beth.
209
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,429
We're too old to be this high.
210
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,931
Oh, sweetie,
I'm right here with you.
211
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,933
You're safe. We're safe.
212
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,480
Mm.
213
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,940
Wow.
214
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,942
It's like prom night
all over again.
215
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,610
You found the right hole
eventually.
216
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,945
Where's the moon roof?
217
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,339
I need... I need
to tell the universe
218
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,465
that Beth Sanchez
is the best thing
219
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,158
that's ever happened to me.
220
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,285
Aw, Jer.
Uh, what? Please remain seated.
221
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,871
But how will the cosmos
know how I feel?
222
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,878
My dermis!
223
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,632
Ah! Oh, my God!
224
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,181
Whoo!
225
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,187
Thank you
for choosing Zarz Dinnarz.
226
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,022
Oh, my gosh, is he dying?
227
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,649
No, I'm just tired.
228
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,819
I've been doing a lot
of airport runs at night.
229
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,327
♪ When I get down on my luck
230
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,995
♪ I hide behind my eyes
in Hollywood ♪
231
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,848
♪ They say, "Ain't what you know
but who you know ♪"
232
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,165
♪ You need to know someone
to know no one" ♪
233
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,834
♪ When I get down on my luck ♪
234
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,729
♪ I roll one up and roll around
all by my lonesome ♪
235
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,505
♪ Lost some years,
I used to know ♪
236
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,049
♪ I know my fate like
bullets in a shotgun ♪
237
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,509
♪ When I get down on my luck ♪
238
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,385
♪ I hide behind my eyes
in Hollywood ♪
239
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,030
♪ They say, "Ain't what you know
but who you know ♪"
240
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,515
♪ You need to know someone
to know no one" ♪
241
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,350
♪ When I get down on my luck
242
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,369
♪ I roll one up and roll around
all by my lonesome ♪
243
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,937
♪ Lost some years,
I used to know ♪
244
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,272
♪ I know my fate like
bullets in a shotgun ♪
245
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,997
♪ She loves to dream,
living in and off ♪
246
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,692
♪ And out her mind
in space and time ♪
247
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,694
♪ She takes a line
and lies her life away ♪
248
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,239
♪ You might just say
she stays to go nowhere ♪
249
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,459
Bitch, move.
250
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:31,214
These assholes have way more
stamina for being assholes.
251
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:35,135
Boys. Margo's gonna blow!
252
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,140
Oh, look at that, a Fart Baby!
253
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,267
What the fuck! Oh, my God.
254
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,310
False alarm. Just another baby.
255
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:45,979
Get that Fart Baby a beer!
256
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,314
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
257
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,233
Is that kid gonna be okay?
258
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,484
Fart Baby? Yeah, man.
259
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,902
He will be if he parties.
260
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,237
Fart Baby party!
261
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,464
Dude, this has gotten
out of hand.
262
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,739
Yeah, we gotta bounce before
263
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,575
we turn into
even bigger assholes.
264
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,451
What's this talk about leavin'?
265
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,912
Yeah, we're having
a good time, right?
266
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,999
Kind of feels like
we aren't free to go.
267
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,268
Isn't that technically a rule?
268
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,835
Nah, man.
269
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,479
Besides, all that's out there
is that shitty ass town.
270
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,921
We just need to call
our grandpa.
271
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,256
No phone calls. Okay.
272
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,175
I'm sorry,
but see, that's two rules.
273
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,426
Fuck that shit.
274
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,677
You guys took an oath to rage,
275
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,596
and now you want
to skip out on one?
276
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,015
Yeah, I'm starting to get a real
lame vibe from these two.
277
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:25,935
And you saw the dead pile
of lame people, right?
278
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:28,980
Oh, now look what you did.
279
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,148
Fart Baby's crying.
280
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,816
It's okay, Fart Baby.
281
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,109
They're not going anywhere.
282
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,152
They're gonna rage.
283
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,279
Oh, no, no. We're cool.
284
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,989
Then prove it.
285
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:48,333
I wish we hadn't
given beer to that baby.
286
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,880
Oh, Beth,
I had the strangest dream
287
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,507
we got high forever.
288
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:01,679
Yeah, this makes
a lot more sense.
289
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,475
Uh, honey,
how long have we been here?
290
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,809
Couple days? Couple weeks?
291
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,145
This store planet has
an artificial sky.
292
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,688
Jerry, look!
293
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,487
Damn it!
294
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,405
It's in jail with the deodorant.
295
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,175
Paging associate, please wait.
296
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,992
Okay,
he's on his way.
297
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,745
Paging
associate. Please wait.
298
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,706
Paging associate. Please wait.
299
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,667
Because he was
a bus ride away. Right.
300
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,877
The whole planet is a mall.
301
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,022
Paging associate. Please
wait. I hope he gets here soon.
302
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,881
Oh, my God. Oh.
303
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,692
He's at an airport. Paging
associate. Please wait.
304
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,177
Connecting flight?!
I can't take this anymore.
305
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,181
Hey, stop right there!
306
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,349
Oh! Yes!
307
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,728
Whoo!
308
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,235
Did it work?
309
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,739
Are we un-high?
310
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,535
We have too few hearts, Jerry.
311
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,245
Too few hearts!
312
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,247
Beth, I called Rick.
313
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,623
What?!
314
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,792
You have a cosmic
safety net for a dad.
315
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,043
Embrace it.
316
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,712
Well, that makes me
feel like a baby.
317
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,463
It's okay to be
a baby sometimes.
318
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,590
I've been a baby our
entire marriage.
319
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,718
But we should all get a turn.
320
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,052
Well.
321
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,721
Well, I... I did have fun.
322
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,805
Me too.
323
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,933
Oh, now I'm invited to hang.
324
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,727
Whoa!
325
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:36,107
Oh, everyone wants grandpa's
help, but nobody wants grandpa.
326
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,277
If we had a car,
I'd roll the windows up.
327
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,987
Bars have phones, right?
328
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,781
Well, woo!
329
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,241
Look who came down the mountain
330
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,827
to grace us with their presence.
331
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,829
I didn't think you camp assholes
332
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,080
ever left your bubble.
333
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,623
Who gives a shit, lady?
334
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,751
This may be a literal
matter of life and death.
335
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,336
Can we phone our grandfather?
336
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,254
Did not hear a "please."
337
00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,839
Bitch, oh, my God! Fine, please!
338
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,257
"Bitch?" 'Scuse me?
339
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,343
I don't think
you can reclaim words,
340
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,844
so I don't appreciate that.
341
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,597
One call. Oh, my God,
thank you so much.
342
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,265
What's his number? 12.
343
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,309
12? That's a phone number?
344
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,606
Grandpa Rick,
you need to come get us!
345
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,125
The campers killed
the guards and counselors,
346
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,789
and now they're living
it up by themselves
347
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,861
and won't let us leave
and I know it seems like
348
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,630
we've learned nothing but we're
done being spoiled assholes.
349
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,323
Hep-
here's the thing.
350
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,951
Rick? H-Hello?
351
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,290
Bye.
352
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,833
Okay, what the fuck?
353
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,628
Couldn't help but hear
there's a load of rich kids
354
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,632
up at that camp
completely unsupervised.
355
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,343
Oh, not... not sure if,
uh, there's a reason
356
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,969
everyone needs to know that.
357
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,138
Oh, there is.
358
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,224
It's visiting day.
359
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,476
For our guns.
360
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,354
Am I high
or are the kids in danger?
361
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,898
Both.
362
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,650
We're being punished
by the universe.
363
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,319
Beth, slap me.
I-It'll sober me up.
364
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,238
Ow! Ow!
365
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,658
Did you see how
I went up and back down?
366
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,743
Dad, we need to save
the kids in a way
367
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,495
where they think
we're not fuck ups
368
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,913
they can just blow off.
369
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:17,542
Okay, okay, just...
just give me a sec.
370
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,044
Dad! Am I not standing yet?
371
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:24,090
Why are you s-so dense?
372
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,387
Carry the two...
373
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,222
All right. All right.
374
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,724
Kiiiids, home!
375
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,563
Ow. Did it work?
376
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,274
Are you Rick?
377
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,067
Yes.
378
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:47,363
The... the same Rick
we just pushed through?
379
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,365
Oh, God.
380
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,200
I-Is this where the kids are?
381
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,035
I'm too fuckin' high for this.
382
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,370
We pushed you through...
383
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,082
and you came out.
384
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,918
Ah!
385
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,046
Do you feel different?
386
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,882
Uh, I don't know.
387
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:09,093
Do I?
388
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,263
Okey dokey, artichokey.
389
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,724
It's ransom tiiiime.
390
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,965
We googled your parents,
and I gotta tell you something,
391
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,396
you kids are some real
silver spoon fucks.
392
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,732
Except for you two...
you two aren't rich at all.
393
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,400
Ouch. Hurtful.
394
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,778
What'll be "hurtful" is if
we don't get our money.
395
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,740
So you better pray mommy
and daddy pick up the phone.
396
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,409
Yeah? Let's hit it, boys.
397
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,745
We're screwed.
398
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,079
Someone's folks will pay up,
399
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,581
and we'll be out of here
in no time.
400
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,749
You don't know that.
401
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,125
All of our parents left us here
402
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,835
because we're spoiled
pieces of shit.
403
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,754
M-Maybe they aren't
ever coming back.
404
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,797
Oh, thank Christ.
405
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,258
It's different.
406
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,676
Wow, it is.
407
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,596
H-h-hey, Morty! You're here.
408
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,515
Rick, get us out
of this nightmare.
409
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,267
S-sure thing, Morty.
410
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,436
Mortyyyyy.
411
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,271
Mortyyyy.
412
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,814
I like that. What the...
413
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,441
Quit messing around.
414
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,943
Where's the portal gun?
415
00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:08,109
I think I...
416
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,987
I think I left it
in the shopping cart.
417
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:13,115
What? Did you guys
smoke my High Forever?
418
00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:14,450
Look at me.
419
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,451
Look at me.
420
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:16,786
You can't get angry, Summer.
421
00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:18,454
I gave it to you. Probably.
422
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,623
Oh, my God. Wow.
They're out of their gourds.
423
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,040
We are zooted.
424
00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:23,876
This is why
we've been acting out.
425
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,462
Because we have absolute
psychos as role models.
426
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,047
You guys are bad parents.
427
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,466
Boo!
428
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,385
This version of everyone's mean.
429
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,510
You know what?
430
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,804
That man over there
431
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,305
is the smartest man
in the universe,
432
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,807
and he always bails us out.
433
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,475
But he ain't bailing
out shit right now.
434
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,810
We need to save ourselves.
435
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,853
Now put that
affluenza to good use
436
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,814
and be the campers
who took over this camp.
437
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,816
Great speech, Summer.
You think so?
438
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,192
I tried to keep it tight.
439
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,819
No, no. It felt good.
I'm fired up.
440
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,821
If we could just get to
the archery shed.
441
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,364
We just need a distraction.
442
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,826
Can't believe these kids
had access to bidets
443
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,327
and didn't think to use them.
444
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,912
I really hate standing guard.
445
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,039
I want to get back to
power washing my asshole.
446
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,253
Look, pal,
don't know how you got here,
447
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,754
but you are clearly lost.
448
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,215
Oh!
449
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,051
Die, stupid bitch.
450
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,055
Jesus Christ, he's so high
he's walkin' through people!
451
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,198
Goddamn, m-maybe I could have
452
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,242
just yelled "Over there!"
or something?
453
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,540
Let's take back this camp...
again.
454
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,228
♪ One, two, three, four
townie blood on the floor ♪
455
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,230
♪ Tear 'em open, tear 'em up
backwoods honkeytonk ♪
456
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,399
♪ Rich kids versus working men
feeling weird to root for them ♪
457
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,568
♪ I'm not gonna pick a team
everyone is dumb and mean! ♪
458
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,612
♪ Nepo babies bust 'em wide
everybody's bad inside ♪
459
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,888
♪ It's a riot, it's a war
no one to be cheering for ♪
460
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,890
♪ Blood on the floor
blood on the floor ♪
461
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,768
♪ Teeth in the blood ♪
462
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,395
♪ I hate the queen! ♪
463
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,980
Rad.
464
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:12,318
Jesus! I'm saying
I have captured your child.
465
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,070
Be more worried.
466
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,756
Oh, that's good
to hear he's still having
467
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,448
a nice time at camp.
468
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,075
Hello? Oh, my... they... Click?
469
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,244
Click? I'll click you!
That motherfucker hung up.
470
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,750
Do not just stand there.
Get him!
471
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,254
Oh, god!
I'm only one guy.
472
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,132
I already got hit with an arrow!
473
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,969
Why is this so triumphant?
474
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,263
Mom! Mom!
475
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,265
Put the bows down slowly.
476
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,143
Jerry. Tell me you see that?
477
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,938
Oh,
look, there's more over there.
478
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,606
What's going on?
What are they doing?
479
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,108
Ow!
480
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,794
Damn it. "Look over there"
would have worked.
481
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,986
All right,
all right, dial it down.
482
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,030
I'm surrendering.
I know when I'm beat.
483
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,032
Fuckin' A right. See ya.
484
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,951
Whoa, guys! We won!
485
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,203
Jesus, these rich kids
are nutballs.
486
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,455
See what I mean? We're the same.
487
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,665
I wouldn't go that far.
488
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,890
Won't he drown?
489
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:26,892
Nah, he'll be fine.
490
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,519
Might even sober him up.
491
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,313
Dad, I want you
to meet Fart Baby.
492
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,690
It only drinks beer.
493
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,654
Thanks for coming
to pick us up, space, mom.
494
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,156
Yeah, yeah. No problem.
495
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,175
Let's get out of this camp
that didn't work at all.
496
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,201
Is that Bill fucking Pullman?
497
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,037
Maybe this was good
for all of us.
498
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,039
M-Maybe it will
chill us all out.
499
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,208
Shut up. Don't tell
your parents how to parent.
500
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,835
I want Del Taco now!
501
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,211
How long does
this high even last?
502
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:57,047
Forever!
That's just the name, mom.
503
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,049
Should be normal...
in a few days.
504
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,509
Summer, did they take that stuff
505
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,011
I gave you for a rainy day?
506
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,846
Why don't you fuck us anymore?
507
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,848
Yeah! We had a good thing going.
508
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,683
Del Taco!
509
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,059
The one Dawn works at.
510
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,020
Fucking throuple us. Come on.
511
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,521
We're gonna see Dawn!
512
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,191
This ride is all
the scared straight we need.
513
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,058
Kids these days
love two things...
514
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,142
The latest trends
515
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,228
and animals selling vices.
516
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:56,482
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you "Cool Horse."
517
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,912
Just fucking do it already!
518
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:12,915
The horse does seem cool.
519
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,293
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