1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,606 Principle Vagina: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,430 thank you for taking time off work to come in. 3 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,467 So, what's this about, Principal vagina? 4 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,010 Yeah, what is this about? 5 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,095 You're not a leaner. You don't have that in you. 6 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,806 Go sit at your desk like the outer city principal you are. 7 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,433 Morty! Summer! Stop. 8 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,018 Their latest offense had students 9 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,163 packing their gums with this... 10 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,147 This growth gives users perfect memories. 11 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,107 And there's no right way to put this... 12 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,026 the student body now do nothing 13 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:29,446 but relive their intimate achievements. 14 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,615 Yes, more! More canola oil! 15 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,284 Add to that Morty replacing himself with ninja clones, 16 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,828 Summer making toilets chant your weight when you sit, 17 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,623 and this is their third sci-fi strike this semester. 18 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,125 Morty and Summer are officially expelled. 19 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,836 Expelled? Can't you just suspend them with pay? 20 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,463 What has gotten into you two? 21 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,549 You're unrecognizable lately... 22 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,806 Mom gets red when she's angry. 23 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,558 Do we have any canola oil? 24 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,351 Ugh! 25 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,812 Add muting adults to the list. 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,375 So I wasn't having a mental breakdown. 27 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,897 Phew! Quit summoning me like this. 28 00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:06,483 People are gonna think I'm a genie. 29 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,527 Dad, the kids just got expelled 30 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,654 for being high-concept assholes. 31 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,742 Turning people into carrots 32 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,345 won't help you beat the genie allegations. 33 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,329 I won't dignify that with a response, Jerry, 34 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,373 but I will make you a carrot at some point. 35 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,376 Too much. Too much! 36 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,020 My bones were my skin and my organs were frozen 37 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,670 in the orange marrow my blood became. 38 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,691 Oh, dear. The kids aren't expelled. They aren't expelled! 39 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,842 A! All A's! Every class! 40 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,820 Dad, this is why they're so spoiled. 41 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,013 You bail them out before they ever learn a lesson. 42 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,181 Yeah, you turned out so awesome without him. 43 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,890 Don't give Rick that much credit, 44 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,226 he's not bailing us out, 45 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,853 he's being a lazy piece of shit. 46 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,187 The fuck you just say? 47 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,023 Ugh! Little bitch Ninja-logged me. 48 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,691 See? Okay, you win. 49 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,610 I heard about this sleepaway camp off-world. 50 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,878 that rich people ship their spoiled kids to. 51 00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,196 You're sending them away? 52 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,115 Shouldn't you be handling it yourself? 53 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,884 This is me handling it. 54 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,553 You want me to find a switch? Bend 'em over? 55 00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,703 Give 'em the ol' hot seat? 56 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,204 I know you're being sarcastic, 57 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,557 but I don't like the excitement in your voice. 58 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:03,957 Good. Oh, whatever. 59 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,602 Keep turning your problems into carrots. 60 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,628 Beth! 61 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,211 Pack your shit. 62 00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:45,582 This is bullshit. 63 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,435 How else are we supposed to treat our normie-ass classmates? 64 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,086 We're literally in space right now. 65 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,587 Yeah, why do we get punished 66 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:51,814 for being better than everyone? 67 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,757 Because you aren't. I am. 68 00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,634 You two are remora... too fucking spoiled 69 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,260 to know you're mooching off a shark. 70 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,595 Ugh! Whatever, bro. 71 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,781 Me and Summer have grown so much 72 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,931 we arced onto same page. 73 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,808 But I guess we haven't grown 74 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,852 as much as your fucking bald spot. 75 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,270 Yeah, you dumb bitch! 76 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,939 It's pickleball-sized now. Oh, wow. Wow! 77 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,858 Look at Beyoncé, rolling up the partition. 78 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,948 Ho ho! Did I make the cover? 79 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,467 I can't believe you wanted to, 80 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,534 you fucking loser. 81 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,952 Goddamn it! 82 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,346 His thirsty ass picked up on the first ring. 83 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,454 What are you doing? 84 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,817 Reminding you who the shark is. 85 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,714 Oh! Thank God. 86 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,340 It's... over... 87 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,307 If you thought that dial was bad, 88 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,468 check out this button. 89 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:47,811 On your feet, maggots! 90 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,813 Move! Move! Move! Move! Let's go! 91 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,833 Listen, whatever this is, I can't dig holes all summer. 92 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,334 I have gentle hands, piano player's hands! 93 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,985 Well, put those hands to work... 94 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,237 Doin' whatever the fuck you want! 95 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,531 So, just to be clear? 96 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,867 The kids took over the camp. 97 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,203 Oh! Uh... g-good? 98 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,331 You feel that? The AC? 99 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,501 Beth, you know, if it's over 65 degrees, I get hives. 100 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,004 No. This is the first time we've had the house 101 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,214 to ourselves since... 102 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,091 I know she keeps drugs in here. 103 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,010 She's 17 and hangs out with my dad. 104 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,179 Ooh, I think I found some. 105 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,182 Oh, thank God. I mean... oh, no. 106 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,350 Not sure what goes in what orifice. Ooh. 107 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,561 This looks familiar enough. 108 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,946 Still got it. 109 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,574 Huh. Do you feel anything? 110 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,367 I mean... 111 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,036 I'm feeling... 112 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,043 G-great. 113 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,878 We should steal a car! 114 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,713 Beth? Future carrot? 115 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,089 I dropped off the little freaks. 116 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,976 You two wanna grab a drink? Shh. 117 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,760 We... we aren... 118 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,386 We aren't home. 119 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,971 What? U-oh, Beth, gross. 120 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,723 Just don't reply next time. 121 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,392 Ahh. 122 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,645 How'd Summer get drugs from Japan? 123 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,814 What even is this stuff? 124 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,739 Oh, man, we totally had you guys. 125 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,241 It's not a real camp anymore. 126 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,952 We campers overthrew the counselors years ago. 127 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,162 Years ago. Yeah, ya goofy hoes! 128 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,622 We run this shit now. 129 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,290 Anything you want? We got. 130 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,251 Anything you wanna do? You do. 131 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,169 Can I fire a bazooka on a skateboard? 132 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,754 C'mon, you know the answer. 133 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,089 Oh, my God, I'm gonna do it. 134 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,299 So what happened to the counselors? 135 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,592 Murdered 'em. 136 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,929 Fuck. Oh, God. 137 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,430 That's where we dump our lame. 138 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,765 Pretty sick, right? 139 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:52,143 Sickly... awesome. 140 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,312 Let's give 'em a tour. 141 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,273 Oh. Ow, ow, ow, ow. 142 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,775 Is he okay? Oh, God. Who gives a shit? 143 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,111 That's the amphitheater. 144 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,630 Great place to get fucked. 145 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,282 That's the archery range. 146 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,117 Perfect place to get fucked. 147 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,451 That's the cafeteria. 148 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,120 Super awesome place... We get it. 149 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,831 But where does everything else, like, come from? 150 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,291 A bunch of us have trust funds, 151 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,126 so we just DoorDash anything we want. 152 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,461 Greek food incoming. 153 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,297 And... no tip. 154 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,632 What, I didn't see him make it. 155 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:26,177 Excuse me, Edward Merlot Hands coming through. 156 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,014 Look, you're the first kid to show up here in ages. 157 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,015 So, uh... 158 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,391 Do you two solemnly swear 159 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,185 to dedicate your life to the party? 160 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,648 Woop woop! Yeah! 161 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,668 I'm gonna party 'til my face fucking face melts off! 162 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,989 Well, I guess being high forever isn't all bad. 163 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,699 I'll lose my job and... and... and, uh, 164 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,826 try to understand Jackson Pollock paintings. 165 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,661 It was a visualization of suicide. 166 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,496 Aw, it totally was. 167 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,998 You ruined it! 168 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,666 Are we really gonna be high forever? 169 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,001 C-Can we Google this? 170 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,878 We can Google anything. 171 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,341 Oh, Jer Bear, look! 172 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,009 They have some version of Narcan 173 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,403 at a pharmacy the next solar system over. 174 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,012 How are we supposed to get there? 175 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,181 My dad has a way to hail space cabs in the garage. 176 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,350 Come on. How's this not needing him? 177 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,686 Cause we're doing it behind his back. 178 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,858 How do these work again? 179 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,194 Like this, watch. 180 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,528 Oh, wow. 181 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,074 Oh, that's way easier! 182 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,533 You can't back out of this deal. 183 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,534 I got a pallet full of people-sized carrots. 184 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,555 "Not your problem?" 185 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,247 Oh, it's about to be. 186 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,541 If we make irregular rhythms... 187 00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,044 ...he can't hear us under there. 188 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:44,047 He's your dad, not the god of Arrakis. 189 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,551 All right, Zarz Dinnarz will be here 190 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,388 in what I'm guessing is three minutes... 191 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,723 Oh, that was seconds. 192 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,433 Hey! For, um, Rick? 193 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,436 You may enter me. 194 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,063 Uh, okay. 195 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,566 Ah! Please sit still. 196 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,736 I have taken a form your butts desire. 197 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,447 Oh, my God, this is the exact limo 198 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,490 we took to prom. 199 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,909 Those can't be real pretzels? 200 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,428 Oh, isn't this amazing? 201 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,496 It's like we're hanging out as kids again. 202 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,416 Oh, everything's slick like a womb. 203 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,251 Oh, I need to get baby-sized. 204 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,795 If I'm born, I'll rip my mother from crack to crack! 205 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,088 Everything okay back there? 206 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,090 Uh, do you have an umbilical cord? 207 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,300 What? Are you people high? 208 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,094 Oh, we shouldn't have done this, Beth. 209 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,429 We're too old to be this high. 210 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,931 Oh, sweetie, I'm right here with you. 211 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,933 You're safe. We're safe. 212 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,480 Mm. 213 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,940 Wow. 214 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,942 It's like prom night all over again. 215 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,610 You found the right hole eventually. 216 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,945 Where's the moon roof? 217 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,339 I need... I need to tell the universe 218 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,465 that Beth Sanchez is the best thing 219 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,158 that's ever happened to me. 220 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,285 Aw, Jer. Uh, what? Please remain seated. 221 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,871 But how will the cosmos know how I feel? 222 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,878 My dermis! 223 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,632 Ah! Oh, my God! 224 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,181 Whoo! 225 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:22,187 Thank you for choosing Zarz Dinnarz. 226 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,022 Oh, my gosh, is he dying? 227 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,649 No, I'm just tired. 228 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,819 I've been doing a lot of airport runs at night. 229 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,327 ♪ When I get down on my luck 230 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,995 ♪ I hide behind my eyes in Hollywood ♪ 231 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,848 ♪ They say, "Ain't what you know but who you know ♪" 232 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,165 ♪ You need to know someone to know no one" ♪ 233 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,834 ♪ When I get down on my luck ♪ 234 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,729 ♪ I roll one up and roll around all by my lonesome ♪ 235 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,505 ♪ Lost some years, I used to know ♪ 236 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,049 ♪ I know my fate like bullets in a shotgun ♪ 237 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,509 ♪ When I get down on my luck ♪ 238 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,385 ♪ I hide behind my eyes in Hollywood ♪ 239 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,030 ♪ They say, "Ain't what you know but who you know ♪" 240 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,515 ♪ You need to know someone to know no one" ♪ 241 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,350 ♪ When I get down on my luck 242 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,369 ♪ I roll one up and roll around all by my lonesome ♪ 243 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,937 ♪ Lost some years, I used to know ♪ 244 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,272 ♪ I know my fate like bullets in a shotgun ♪ 245 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,997 ♪ She loves to dream, living in and off ♪ 246 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,692 ♪ And out her mind in space and time ♪ 247 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,694 ♪ She takes a line and lies her life away ♪ 248 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,239 ♪ You might just say she stays to go nowhere ♪ 249 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,459 Bitch, move. 250 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:31,214 These assholes have way more stamina for being assholes. 251 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:35,135 Boys. Margo's gonna blow! 252 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,140 Oh, look at that, a Fart Baby! 253 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,267 What the fuck! Oh, my God. 254 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,310 False alarm. Just another baby. 255 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:45,979 Get that Fart Baby a beer! 256 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,314 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 257 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,233 Is that kid gonna be okay? 258 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,484 Fart Baby? Yeah, man. 259 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,902 He will be if he parties. 260 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,237 Fart Baby party! 261 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,464 Dude, this has gotten out of hand. 262 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,739 Yeah, we gotta bounce before 263 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,575 we turn into even bigger assholes. 264 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,451 What's this talk about leavin'? 265 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,912 Yeah, we're having a good time, right? 266 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,999 Kind of feels like we aren't free to go. 267 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,268 Isn't that technically a rule? 268 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,835 Nah, man. 269 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,479 Besides, all that's out there is that shitty ass town. 270 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,921 We just need to call our grandpa. 271 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,256 No phone calls. Okay. 272 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,175 I'm sorry, but see, that's two rules. 273 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,426 Fuck that shit. 274 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,677 You guys took an oath to rage, 275 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,596 and now you want to skip out on one? 276 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,015 Yeah, I'm starting to get a real lame vibe from these two. 277 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:25,935 And you saw the dead pile of lame people, right? 278 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:28,980 Oh, now look what you did. 279 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,148 Fart Baby's crying. 280 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,816 It's okay, Fart Baby. 281 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,109 They're not going anywhere. 282 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,152 They're gonna rage. 283 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,279 Oh, no, no. We're cool. 284 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,989 Then prove it. 285 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:48,333 I wish we hadn't given beer to that baby. 286 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,880 Oh, Beth, I had the strangest dream 287 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,507 we got high forever. 288 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:01,679 Yeah, this makes a lot more sense. 289 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,475 Uh, honey, how long have we been here? 290 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,809 Couple days? Couple weeks? 291 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,145 This store planet has an artificial sky. 292 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,688 Jerry, look! 293 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,487 Damn it! 294 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,405 It's in jail with the deodorant. 295 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,175 Paging associate, please wait. 296 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,992 Okay, he's on his way. 297 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,745 Paging associate. Please wait. 298 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,706 Paging associate. Please wait. 299 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,667 Because he was a bus ride away. Right. 300 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,877 The whole planet is a mall. 301 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,022 Paging associate. Please wait. I hope he gets here soon. 302 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,881 Oh, my God. Oh. 303 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,692 He's at an airport. Paging associate. Please wait. 304 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,177 Connecting flight?! I can't take this anymore. 305 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,181 Hey, stop right there! 306 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,349 Oh! Yes! 307 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,728 Whoo! 308 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,235 Did it work? 309 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,739 Are we un-high? 310 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,535 We have too few hearts, Jerry. 311 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,245 Too few hearts! 312 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,247 Beth, I called Rick. 313 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,623 What?! 314 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,792 You have a cosmic safety net for a dad. 315 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,043 Embrace it. 316 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,712 Well, that makes me feel like a baby. 317 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,463 It's okay to be a baby sometimes. 318 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,590 I've been a baby our entire marriage. 319 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,718 But we should all get a turn. 320 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,052 Well. 321 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,721 Well, I... I did have fun. 322 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,805 Me too. 323 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,933 Oh, now I'm invited to hang. 324 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,727 Whoa! 325 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:36,107 Oh, everyone wants grandpa's help, but nobody wants grandpa. 326 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,277 If we had a car, I'd roll the windows up. 327 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,987 Bars have phones, right? 328 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,781 Well, woo! 329 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,241 Look who came down the mountain 330 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,827 to grace us with their presence. 331 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,829 I didn't think you camp assholes 332 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,080 ever left your bubble. 333 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,623 Who gives a shit, lady? 334 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,751 This may be a literal matter of life and death. 335 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,336 Can we phone our grandfather? 336 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,254 Did not hear a "please." 337 00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,839 Bitch, oh, my God! Fine, please! 338 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,257 "Bitch?" 'Scuse me? 339 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,343 I don't think you can reclaim words, 340 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,844 so I don't appreciate that. 341 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,597 One call. Oh, my God, thank you so much. 342 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,265 What's his number? 12. 343 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,309 12? That's a phone number? 344 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,606 Grandpa Rick, you need to come get us! 345 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,125 The campers killed the guards and counselors, 346 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,789 and now they're living it up by themselves 347 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,861 and won't let us leave and I know it seems like 348 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,630 we've learned nothing but we're done being spoiled assholes. 349 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,323 Hep- here's the thing. 350 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,951 Rick? H-Hello? 351 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,290 Bye. 352 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,833 Okay, what the fuck? 353 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,628 Couldn't help but hear there's a load of rich kids 354 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,632 up at that camp completely unsupervised. 355 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,343 Oh, not... not sure if, uh, there's a reason 356 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,969 everyone needs to know that. 357 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,138 Oh, there is. 358 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,224 It's visiting day. 359 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,476 For our guns. 360 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,354 Am I high or are the kids in danger? 361 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,898 Both. 362 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,650 We're being punished by the universe. 363 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,319 Beth, slap me. I-It'll sober me up. 364 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,238 Ow! Ow! 365 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,658 Did you see how I went up and back down? 366 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,743 Dad, we need to save the kids in a way 367 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,495 where they think we're not fuck ups 368 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,913 they can just blow off. 369 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:17,542 Okay, okay, just... just give me a sec. 370 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,044 Dad! Am I not standing yet? 371 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:24,090 Why are you s-so dense? 372 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,387 Carry the two... 373 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,222 All right. All right. 374 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,724 Kiiiids, home! 375 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,563 Ow. Did it work? 376 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,274 Are you Rick? 377 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,067 Yes. 378 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:47,363 The... the same Rick we just pushed through? 379 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,365 Oh, God. 380 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,200 I-Is this where the kids are? 381 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,035 I'm too fuckin' high for this. 382 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,370 We pushed you through... 383 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,082 and you came out. 384 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,918 Ah! 385 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,046 Do you feel different? 386 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,882 Uh, I don't know. 387 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:09,093 Do I? 388 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,263 Okey dokey, artichokey. 389 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,724 It's ransom tiiiime. 390 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,965 We googled your parents, and I gotta tell you something, 391 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,396 you kids are some real silver spoon fucks. 392 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,732 Except for you two... you two aren't rich at all. 393 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,400 Ouch. Hurtful. 394 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,778 What'll be "hurtful" is if we don't get our money. 395 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,740 So you better pray mommy and daddy pick up the phone. 396 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,409 Yeah? Let's hit it, boys. 397 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,745 We're screwed. 398 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,079 Someone's folks will pay up, 399 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,581 and we'll be out of here in no time. 400 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,749 You don't know that. 401 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,125 All of our parents left us here 402 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,835 because we're spoiled pieces of shit. 403 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,754 M-Maybe they aren't ever coming back. 404 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,797 Oh, thank Christ. 405 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,258 It's different. 406 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,676 Wow, it is. 407 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,596 H-h-hey, Morty! You're here. 408 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,515 Rick, get us out of this nightmare. 409 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,267 S-sure thing, Morty. 410 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,436 Mortyyyyy. 411 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,271 Mortyyyy. 412 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,814 I like that. What the... 413 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,441 Quit messing around. 414 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,943 Where's the portal gun? 415 00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:08,109 I think I... 416 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,987 I think I left it in the shopping cart. 417 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:13,115 What? Did you guys smoke my High Forever? 418 00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:14,450 Look at me. 419 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,451 Look at me. 420 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:16,786 You can't get angry, Summer. 421 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:18,454 I gave it to you. Probably. 422 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,623 Oh, my God. Wow. They're out of their gourds. 423 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,040 We are zooted. 424 00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:23,876 This is why we've been acting out. 425 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,462 Because we have absolute psychos as role models. 426 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,047 You guys are bad parents. 427 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,466 Boo! 428 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,385 This version of everyone's mean. 429 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,510 You know what? 430 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,804 That man over there 431 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,305 is the smartest man in the universe, 432 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,807 and he always bails us out. 433 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,475 But he ain't bailing out shit right now. 434 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,810 We need to save ourselves. 435 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,853 Now put that affluenza to good use 436 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,814 and be the campers who took over this camp. 437 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,816 Great speech, Summer. You think so? 438 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,192 I tried to keep it tight. 439 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,819 No, no. It felt good. I'm fired up. 440 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,821 If we could just get to the archery shed. 441 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,364 We just need a distraction. 442 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,826 Can't believe these kids had access to bidets 443 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,327 and didn't think to use them. 444 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,912 I really hate standing guard. 445 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,039 I want to get back to power washing my asshole. 446 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,253 Look, pal, don't know how you got here, 447 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,754 but you are clearly lost. 448 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,215 Oh! 449 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,051 Die, stupid bitch. 450 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,055 Jesus Christ, he's so high he's walkin' through people! 451 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,198 Goddamn, m-maybe I could have 452 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,242 just yelled "Over there!" or something? 453 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,540 Let's take back this camp... again. 454 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,228 ♪ One, two, three, four townie blood on the floor ♪ 455 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,230 ♪ Tear 'em open, tear 'em up backwoods honkeytonk ♪ 456 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,399 ♪ Rich kids versus working men feeling weird to root for them ♪ 457 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,568 ♪ I'm not gonna pick a team everyone is dumb and mean! ♪ 458 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,612 ♪ Nepo babies bust 'em wide everybody's bad inside ♪ 459 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,888 ♪ It's a riot, it's a war no one to be cheering for ♪ 460 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,890 ♪ Blood on the floor blood on the floor ♪ 461 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,768 ♪ Teeth in the blood ♪ 462 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,395 ♪ I hate the queen! ♪ 463 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,980 Rad. 464 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:12,318 Jesus! I'm saying I have captured your child. 465 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,070 Be more worried. 466 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,756 Oh, that's good to hear he's still having 467 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,448 a nice time at camp. 468 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,075 Hello? Oh, my... they... Click? 469 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,244 Click? I'll click you! That motherfucker hung up. 470 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,750 Do not just stand there. Get him! 471 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,254 Oh, god! I'm only one guy. 472 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,132 I already got hit with an arrow! 473 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,969 Why is this so triumphant? 474 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,263 Mom! Mom! 475 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,265 Put the bows down slowly. 476 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,143 Jerry. Tell me you see that? 477 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,938 Oh, look, there's more over there. 478 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,606 What's going on? What are they doing? 479 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,108 Ow! 480 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,794 Damn it. "Look over there" would have worked. 481 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,986 All right, all right, dial it down. 482 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,030 I'm surrendering. I know when I'm beat. 483 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,032 Fuckin' A right. See ya. 484 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,951 Whoa, guys! We won! 485 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,203 Jesus, these rich kids are nutballs. 486 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,455 See what I mean? We're the same. 487 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,665 I wouldn't go that far. 488 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,890 Won't he drown? 489 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:26,892 Nah, he'll be fine. 490 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,519 Might even sober him up. 491 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,313 Dad, I want you to meet Fart Baby. 492 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,690 It only drinks beer. 493 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,654 Thanks for coming to pick us up, space, mom. 494 00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,156 Yeah, yeah. No problem. 495 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,175 Let's get out of this camp that didn't work at all. 496 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,201 Is that Bill fucking Pullman? 497 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,037 Maybe this was good for all of us. 498 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,039 M-Maybe it will chill us all out. 499 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,208 Shut up. Don't tell your parents how to parent. 500 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,835 I want Del Taco now! 501 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,211 How long does this high even last? 502 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:57,047 Forever! That's just the name, mom. 503 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,049 Should be normal... in a few days. 504 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,509 Summer, did they take that stuff 505 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,011 I gave you for a rainy day? 506 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,846 Why don't you fuck us anymore? 507 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,848 Yeah! We had a good thing going. 508 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,683 Del Taco! 509 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,059 The one Dawn works at. 510 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,020 Fucking throuple us. Come on. 511 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,521 We're gonna see Dawn! 512 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,191 This ride is all the scared straight we need. 513 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,058 Kids these days love two things... 514 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,142 The latest trends 515 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,228 and animals selling vices. 516 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:56,482 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Cool Horse." 517 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:09,912 Just fucking do it already! 518 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:12,915 The horse does seem cool. 519 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,293 Did you get any of that?