Original subtitles

FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE

SURVIVE?

DUCK DODGERS

OF THE 24th

AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS

AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS

HE'S FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th

AND 1/2 CENTURY

Duck Dodgers: THIS IS THE UNIVERSE.

I WORK HERE IN THE 24th 1/2 CENTURY--

THAT IS, SINCE I WAS THAWED OUT

AFTER BEING ACCIDENTALLY FROZEN 351 YEARS AGO.

YEP. DUCK DODGERS. THAT'S ME.

I JOINED EARTH'S GALACTIC PROTECTORATE,

AND THEY GAVE ME MY VERY OWN CREW.

YES, SIR. THE PROTECTORATE IS A SWELL OUTFIT.

THEY PROTECT EARTH FROM MARTIAN ATTACKS

AND DO LOTS OF OTHER GOOD STUFF...

EXCEPT FOR TODAY.

TODAY, THEY PLAN TO COURT-MARTIAL ME

AND THROW ME IN JAIL.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Judge: ORDER! ORDER!

THIS COURT WILL COME TO ORDER.

WHO BRINGS THE CHARGES

AGAINST THIS PROTECTORATE OFFICER?

I DO, YOUR HONOR.

CAPTAIN STAR JOHNSON.

I CHARGE DUCK DODGERS WITH GROSS INCOMPETENCE

AND THE DERELICTION OF DUTY

IN FIGHTING THE MARTIANS.

[GRUMBLING]

I CALL DR. I.Q. HI TO THE STAND.

HEY, DOC. DON'T FORGET TO MENTION

MY 60 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.

YOU ARE THE CHIEF SCIENTIST FOR THE GALACTIC PROTECTORATE,

ARE YOU NOT?

I CONFESS! I DID IT! I DID IT!

AHEM. THIS TRIAL ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

IT'S ABOUT DODGERS.

OH, YES. OF COURSE.

UH, FUNNY HOW A GUILTY CONSCIENCE

PLAYS TRICKS ON THE MIND.

CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO THE COURT YOUR ROLE IN THIS AFFAIR?

WELL, I GUESS, IN A WAY,

I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS.

NOT IN ANY CRIMINAL RESPECT.

I MEAN THAT I REVIVED DODGERS

FROM A STATE OF SUSPENDED ANIMATION.

I WAS ABLE TO BRING HIM BACK USING THE SCIENCE

OF THE 24th 1/2 CENTURY.

AIN'T THE FUTURE GREAT?

AFTER THAT, I WAS ABLE TO SECURE HIM AN APPOINTMENT

TO STARSHIP CAPTAIN FOR THE PROTECTORATE.

AND WHAT WAS YOUR MOTIVE FOR THIS?

WELL, HE'S A GREAT ASSET.

HIS COMING FROM THE PAST

PROVIDES US WITH A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE.

IT'S PRETTY STANDARD SCI-FI REASONING.

WHAT ORDERS DID YOU GIVE DODGERS ON JUNE 23 OF THIS YEAR?

DODGERS WAS ASSIGNED THE IMPORTANT DUTY OF MOON PATROL.

YOUR HONOR, AS MY FIRST PIECE OF EVIDENCE,

I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE HOLO-PROJECTION RECORDS

FROM THIS INCIDENT.

Woman: OH, MANFRED, OUR LOVE JUST CANNOT BE.

SHAMELESS HUSSY.

UH, CAPTAIN DODGERS. YO.

DIDN'T I.Q. HI TELL US

TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MARTIANS?

THAT HE DID...

AND I DON'T SEE ANY MARTIANS.

I JUST FIGURED WE COULD BE, YOU KNOW,

ACTIVELY SCANNING SPACE FOR ENEMY SHIPS.

WHY DON'T YOU ACTIVELY SCAN MY PERSONAL BATHROOM

FOR WHAT'S GIVING OFF THAT FUNKY SMELL?

B-B-BUT, CAPTAIN.

THAT'LL BE ALL, CADET.

I'LL GIVE HIM A FUNKY SMELL.

I CAN HEAR YOU.

ROBOT CENTURION,

IS THE FLEET IN POSITION?

YES, COMMANDER,

SAFELY HIDDEN ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.

PEACHY.

Centurion: COMMANDER,

WE'VE DETECTED A PROTECTORATE SPACECRAFT.

WHAT?!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

[PANTING]

WHAT DOES HE DO IN THAT BATHROOM?

ENGINE NOISES?

WHY, THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANOTHER SHIP FOR...

MILES.

[GASP]

CAPTAIN DODGERS!

[STUTTERING]

FIND YOUR CENTER, HONEY-BAKED.

M-M-MARTIANS!

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MARTIANS?

AAH!

PREPARE FOR EMERGENCY EVASION.

FIRE THE OVERTHRUSTERS!

UH, CHECK.

ENGAGE THE SUPERDRIVE.

SUPERDRIVE ENGAGED.

DEPLOY THE... THE, UM...

I THINK IT'S THE YELLOW BUTTON.

IT'S, UH, USUALLY FLASHING.

IT MAKES THE ENGINE GO WHOOSH!

THE ENEMY SHIP HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED, COMMANDER.

IT'S DUCK DODGERS.

DODGERS?! VAPORIZE HIM.

OOH!

DAMAGE REPORT.

I THINK I'M GONNA BE...OK.

NOT YOU, STUPID. THE SHIP!

OH. THE SHIP'S MESSED UP.

[CRASH]

WHOA!

CADET, YOU CAN HACK INTO THE EARTH'S DEFENSIVE SHIELD

WITH THIS COMPUTER DOOHICKEY, CAN'T YOU?

THAT WOULD BE AGAINST REG--REG--

THAT'S A NO-NO.

[CRASH]

I'M ON IT. WE'RE IN.

YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.

NOW SLIDE OVER AND WATCH A PRO AT WORK.

JUST A MATTER OF PRESSING A FEW BUTTONS.

QUICK! THE MARTIANS ARE RIGHT BEHIND US!

AND THE SHIELD IS READY TO BE ENERGIZED...

NOW!

UH, YOU DESTROYED THE SHIELD.

THAT MEANS THE EARTH IS D-D-D-D-DOOMED!

Star Johnson: THAT BRINGS US TO THE NEXT COUNT.

DUCK DODGERS WENT AWOL DURING A FULL-SCALE MARTIAN ATTACK.

Man: THROW HIM IN JAIL!

THE ONLY THING THAT SPARED US

WAS A FREAK ACCIDENT ONBOARD THE MARTIAN SHIP.

I OBJECT!

ON WHAT GROUNDS?

ON THE GROUNDS, SIR,

THAT I AM THAT FREAK ACCIDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'LL SEE WHEN I PRESENT MY GLORIOUS DEFENSE.

I CALL MY ONE AND ONLY SURPRISE WITNESS,

THE MARTIAN QUEEN.

I SURE HOPE DODGERS KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

I PRESENT HER EXCELLENCE,

THE QUEEN OF MARS!

THANK YOU FOR HONORING THE UNIVERSAL COURT TREATY OF 2173, YOUR HIGHNESS.

PLEASE, TAKE THE WITNESS STAND.

IT SURE LOOKS LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

SO, MY RAVEN-HAIRED BEAUTY,

PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME FOR THE COURT.

I DON'T HAVE RAVEN HAIR.

MY HAIR IS WHITE AS SNOW.

DON'T TRY AND PULL ANY OF YOUR MARTIAN TRICKS.

IDENTIFY YOURSELF!

I AM THE QUEEN OF MARS.

AHA. I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR.

YOU SUMMONED ME HERE, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

WHY, YES, I DID.

I SURE HOPE HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

YOUR HIGHNESS, WHEN I SUBPOENAED YOU

TO TESTIFY BEFORE THIS AUGUST BODY,

I REQUESTED A COPY OF THE HOLO-RECORDINGS FROM YOUR COMMAND SHIP.

HAVE YOU COMPLIED?

YES, I HAVE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS A COMPILATION

OF PROTECTORATE AND MARTIAN HOLO-RECORDS

THAT WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH.

CAST YOUR EYES ON YONDER VIEW SCREEN

AND PREPARE TO BE AMAZED.

TH-TH-THAT MEANS THE EARTH IS D-D-D-D-DOOMED!

NOT WHILE I'M ON THE JOB.

LET'S SEE. MAYBE WE'VE GOT SOME KIND OF SPECIAL WEAPON.

WHAT'S IN THE HOLD?

473,000 POUNDS OF RUSSET IDAHO POTATOES.

POTATOES.

UH, YEAH. POTATOES. HA HA HA!

I GUESS THE EARTH REALLY IS DOOMED.

MAYBE, BUT THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT.

MEET ME IN THE CARGO HOLD

AND DON'T FORGET YOUR POTATO PEELER.

COMMANDER, EARTH IS DEFENSELESS.

NOW IS OUR TIME TO STRIKE.

EXCELLENT.

WE'LL PUMMEL THEIR CITIES

WITH OUR ANTIMATTER ROCKETS.

BRING THE WEAPONS ON-LINE.

NO. I MEAN NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME

FOR MY ROBOT BROTHERS AND I TO GO ON STRIKE.

WE HAVEN'T HAD A COST OF LIVING INCREASE IN YEARS.

FIRST, YOU DESTROY THE EARTH,

THEN MAYBE WE'LL DISCUSS HAVING SUNDAYS OFF.

POWER TO THE WORKERS!

HOW'S OPERATION SPUD GOING, CADET?

24,323 POUNDS DOWN.

448,677 POUNDS TO GO.

[CLANKING]

EXCELLENT. KEEP PEELING.

TARGET THE EARTH CITIES.

[BEEPING]

EARTH CITIES TARGETED.

I'M CLOSING IN ON THE MARTIAN SHIP.

ARE THOSE POTATOES READY, CADET?

L-L-LAST ONE.

I'M ONLY GONNA GET ONE PASS AT THIS.

Cadet: TRUST YOUR FEELINGS, CAPTAIN.

NAH. I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GONNA USE THIS EXPENSIVE TARGETING COMPUTER.

THE WEAPONS ARE READY, COMMANDER.

ON MY COMMAND.

I WISH TO SAVOR THIS MOMENT.

TARGET IN RANGE.

[BEEPING]

FIRE!

FIRE!

YIPPEE!

CRUD.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

INSTEAD OF DESTRUCTION AND MAYHEM,

DELICIOUS SALTY SNACKS RAINED FROM THE HEAVENS,

COURTESY OF YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD DUCK DODGERS.

[CROWD MURMURING]

ORDER IN THE COURT.

THIS TRIAL IS NOT OVER UNTIL I RENDER MY DECISION,

AND IN THE TRIAL OF DUCK DODGERS,

I FIND THE DEFENDANT...

100%...

NOT GUILTY.

[CHEERING]

SALTY SNACKS?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

HE WAS SUCH A TACTICAL GENIUS?

WHO KNEW?

DODGERS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

MAYBE YOU ARE A GREAT PROTECTORATE SPACE CAPTAIN.

I.Q. HI: DODGERS, I JUST GOT THE BILL

FOR THE PLANETWIDE POTATO CHIP CLEANUP.

YOU OWE US 48 MILLION TRILLION ASTRO DOLLARS.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE WORKING NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS

FOR THE NEXT 350 YEARS.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE JOB SECURITY.

THIS MAY BE THE END.

SUDDEN DEATH IS IMMINENT.

I CAN'T REMEMBER A MORE DIRE SITUATION.

Announcer: WELL, THIS IS IT.

THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH WITH TWO OUTS

AND TWO MEN ON BASE.

HERE'S THE WINDUP AND THE PITCH.

Computer: RECEIVING URGENT S.O.S.

WHAT?! PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK!

[CLICK]

HA HA HA! HEY, KIDS!

Male voice: OUR WORLD HAS BEEN INVADED

BY A HOSTILE LIFE FORM

INTENT ON DESTROYING ALL LIFE ON OUR PLANET.

RESCUE US FROM OUR TERRIBLE PREDICAMENT.

WE IMPLORE YOU TO DO YOUR DUTY AS A PROTECTORATE--

BOY, DOES HE HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.

WHAT WAS THAT?

JUST A PEANUT BUTTER COMMERCIAL.

THAT'S FUNNY. IT SOUNDED LIKE AN URGENT S.O.S. TO ME.

WELL, CADET, I BELIEVE YOU ARE SADLY, SADLY MISTAKEN.

Computer: RECEIVING URGENT S.O.S.

OR MAYBE I WAS SADLY, SADLY MISTAKEN.

CADET, I'VE LANDED ON THE PLANET'S SURFACE.

DO YOU READ ME?

LOUD AND CLEAR, CAPTAIN.

BREATHTAKING.

YES, SIR. A REAL HONEY OF A PLACE.

[SPLAT]

ALL RIGHT. WHO FORGOT TO CLEAN UP AFTER FIDO?

THE CAPTAIN STEPPED IN POO AGAIN. HA HA HA!

YUCK, AND THESE ARE NEW BOOTS.

THERE.

HEY, DOWN HERE.

YES. A HONEY OF A PLACE WITH--

DOWN HERE.

WE ARE THE GOOZERS,

AND WE HAVE SUMMONED YOU HERE.

SOME OF THE MOST HIDEOUS, REVOLTING, YUCKY, STINKY,

CREEPY, SMELLY, PUKEY, NASTY,

GROSSENHEIMER, SLUG-LIKE ALIENS.

DID I MENTION THEY'RE SICKENING, GHASTLY,

PUSTULE-LOOKING CREATURES?

UH, C-C-CAPTAIN,

HADN'T YOU BETTER BEGIN THE OPERATION?

THIS WILL BE A PLEASURE. DODGERS OUT.

[ENGINE STARTS]

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

COME TO PAPA, PUSBUCKETS.

BUT WE...

[MUFFLED] CALLED YOU.

LIKE SHOOTING MONKEYS AT THE ZOO.

YEE-HAW!

BOOGER. 12:00.

THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME MISUNDERSTANDING.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

DID HE FIRE 6 SHOTS OR ONLY 5?

WELL, DUE TO A PREVIOUS HEAD INJURY,

I KIND OF LOST TRACK MYSELF,

SO I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU THE QUESTION.

DO YOU FEEL LUCKY, PUNK?

[SPLAT]

I'M SORRY WE HAD TO TACKLE YOU, CAPTAIN.

AAH! GET THEM OFF ME! AAH!

YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME, YOU EVIL ALIEN INVADERS!

LIKE, WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

WHAT WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU IS,

All: WE'RE NOT THE EVIL INVADERS.

WE SENT THE DISTRESS SIGNAL.

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING

BEFORE I STARTED FREEZING EVERYBODY.

BUT WE-- SAY,

IF YOU DISGUSTING SCUMBALLS

AREN'T THE INVADERS,

THEN WHO IS?

THEY ARE.

THEY'RE THE CATAPOIDS,

AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED

BEFORE THE SUN SETS.

LET'S NOT BE TOO HASTY, GOO BOY.

I'LL HANDLE THIS INVESTIGATION PERSONALLY.

HOLD ON, GIRLS! DADDY'S COMING!

NOW TO FIND CAPTAIN DODGERS.

Goozer: EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OK.

JUST STAY COOL.

SORRY. FIGURE OF SPEECH.

EXCUSE ME, MY FINE PUSTULE,

B-B-BUT HAVE YOU SEEN CAPTAIN DODGERS?

NOT SINCE HE CONFUSED US WITH THE INVADERS

AND DROVE AROUND LIKE A MANIAC,

SHOOTING AT US WITH THAT STUPID FREEZE RAY,

INCAPACITATING MOST OF US,

ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN, THE CHILDREN,

THE ELDERLY, THE WEAK, AND THE SICK,

AND THEN HE LEFT US TO CLEAN UP HIS MESS

SO HE COULD FRATERNIZE WITH THE EVIL INVADERS.

HA HA HA! GOOD OLD CAPTAIN DODGERS.

UH, DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?

HE'S WITH THEM-- THE CATAPOIDS--

AND HE'S IN INCREDIBLE DANGER,

FOR AT SUNSET, THEY WILL TURN.

UH, T-T-TURN?

OH, THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.

HURRY! YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

UH, T-T-TOO LATE?

YES. TOO LATE.

Duck Dodgers: IT'S TRUE WE'VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER

FOR 6 1/2 HOURS,

BUT I ALREADY FEEL A DEEP SPIRITUAL CONNECTION WITH YOU.

BY THE WAY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

[HISSING]

RIGHT. I'LL JUST CALL YOU COOKIE.

POTATOES, CARROTS, AND ONIONS.

NOW I KNOW WHAT A POT ROAST FEELS LIKE.

GREAT VIEW.

SAY, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE LOOSE.

THANKS.

YOU ARE A NAUGHTY LITTLE MINX, AREN'T YOU?

[HISSING]

MOTHER WARNED ME ABOUT GIRLS LIKE YOU.

THE CAPTAIN'S IN TR-TR-TR--

OH, HE'S IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT.

WHAT'S THIS? MORE FOOD.

THANK YOU, MY BEAUTY.

EACH GIRL MORE LOVELY THAN THE LAST.

STEP FORWARD, MY EXOTIC BEAUTY,

FOR I AM A GENTLE LOVER.

YOUR BREATHTAKING BEAUTY INTOXICATES ME.

HELLO, SIR. YOU CAN TALK!

AMERICAN!

OF COURSE I CAN, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

OH, MY GOSH. HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME?

SIR, I'M THE CADET.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

YOU HAVE THE SAME NAME AS MY ASSISTANT.

SIR, IT'S J-J-JUST ME.

I'M WEARING A WIG.

ME, TOO!

TECHNICALLY, IT'S A TOUPEE--

VERY EXPENSIVE FROM A NATIONALLY KNOWN HAIR ASSOCIATION.

WHERE'D YOU GET YOURS?

WELL, I JUST MADE IT A FEW MINUTES AGO

FROM SOME WEEDS I FOUND OUT IN THE WOODS.

MAN, I GOT RIPPED OFF.

I PAID A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR THIS THING.

C-C-CAPTAIN, I THINK WE'VE GOTTEN A BIT OFF TRACK.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE CADET?

VAGUELY.

TRY AND PICTURE HIM.

OK.

NOW PICTURE ME. GOT IT.

EH, DO YOU NOTICE ANY SIMILARITIES?

NOPE. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

TRY A LITTLE HARDER. C-C-CONCENTRATE.

CADET?

UH, YES.

YOU'RE A WOMAN?

NO! THIS IS JUST A STUPID DISGUISE!

I PUT IT ON SO I COULD SNEAK IN AND RESCUE YOU!

OH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE RESCUED.

I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE A NEW LIFE FOR MYSELF HERE WITH THESE GIRLS.

B-B-BUT, SIR, THEY'RE NOT REALLY GIRLS.

DON'T YOU THINK I CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A REAL GIRL AND AN IMPOSTER?

WELL...

GIRLS, TAKE THIS HOME-WRECKER INTO CUSTODY.

TIME TO SWITCH TO PLAN "B."

[HISSING]

I'LL USE THIS LAUGHING GAS TO INCAPACITATE THOSE CATAPOIDS

AND WARN CAPTAIN DODGERS OF HIS IMMINENT DEMISE.

[CLICK CLICK]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

CAPTAIN DODGERS SAID HE INSPECTED THE ARMORY,

AND EVERYTHING WAS IN TIPTOP SHAPE.

[GRUNTING]

HE NEVER...DOES HIS... INSPECTIONS!

OH, D-D-DEAR.

NOT EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND,

BUT I STILL HAVE TO WARN--

HA HA! OH, MY.

THE LAUGHING GAS IS--HA HA-- TAKING EFFECT.

PROMISE ME YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THIS SWEET.

[HISSING]

I AM ONE LUCKY DUCK.

PSST! CAPTAIN DODGERS, I'M HERE TO WARN YOU.

WARN ME ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT THE HORRIBLE CATAPOIDS.

THE GIRLS--HA HA!

THEY'RE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.

THEY'RE--HA HA HA!

THEY'RE EVIL MONSTERS. HA HA HA!

THEY'RE GONNA--HA HA! THEY'RE GONNA--HA HA!

THEY'RE GONNA--HA HA-- RIP--HA HA HA!

THEY'RE GONNA RIP--HA!

RIP YOU TO SHREDS! HA!

HA HA! AND THEY'LL FEAST-- HA HA HA!

FEAST--HA HA-- ON YOUR FLESH!

HA HA HA! IN SOME KIND OF--HA HA--

UNHOLY RITUAL!

HA HA HA! IF THEY'RE GONNA DO ALL THAT TO ME--

HA HA HA!

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO YOU?

HA HA HA!

WELL, I SUPPOSE THERE WILL BE A LOT OF--HA HA HA!

A LOT OF SCREAMING! HA HA HA!

SEVERE PAIN! HA HA HA!

OH, AND THEN THE PROTECTORATE

WILL HAVE--HA HA! WILL HAVE--HA HA!

NOTIFY MY MOTHER! HA HA HA!

HELLO, LADIES! HA!

I'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE, HUH? HA HA!

HA HA HA!

YOU BETTER RUN LIKE THE DICKENS!

HA HA HA!

I GUESS IT'S TIME TO PULL OUT THE--HA HA HA!

HEAVY ARTILLERY!

HA HA HA!

Duck Dodgers: THIS PLANET'S SUNSETS ARE SO LOVELY.

I CAN'T WAIT TILL WE SETTLE DOWN

AND ENJOY LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THESE ALL THE TIME.

[HISSING]

HEH HEH. I JUST LOVE BABY TALK.

[HISSING]

[ROARING]

WHAT SAY YOU GIVE US A KISS?

MMM.

COME ON, SWEETHEART. LAY ONE ON ME.

WOW! WHAT A KISSER!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

S-S-SPIT OUT THAT DUCK, YOU BIG UGLY CATERPILLAR, YOU.

[LAUGHING]

48.2 KILOMILES.

A NEW PERSONAL RECORD.

[LAUGHING]

B-B-BYE-BYE, BUGGY.

[BUZZING]

I THINK YOU HAVE MY DUCK.

AHH.

AAH! MONSTERS! AAH!

Announcer: AND THE CHICAGO ANDROIDS

HAVE BEATEN THE TRANSFARDIANS OF LATHICA.

OH, PHOOEY. I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP

AND MISSED THE END OF THE GAME.

I JUST HAD THE WORST DREAM.

THERE WERE THESE PRETTY GIRLS WHO TALKED FUNNY,

AND THEY TURNED INTO THESE BIG UGLY CATERPILLAR THINGS

THAT HAD STINKY BREATH.

MAN, IT WAS TERRIBLE!

DON'T WORRY, CAPTAIN. IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM,

AND DREAMS CAN NEVER HURT YOU.

THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR...

BECAUSE WHEN I SAW THIS UGLY THING,

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN REAL.