All language subtitles for Co_Ed_Confidential_S03E02_720p_HDTV_TVV_30NAMA

It's spring break. We've got some
serious hobby to do.

Let the 10th annual Spring Break
Olympics begin.

Don't believe everything you hear.
You're mine now.

The female bites his head off. That is
kind of romantic.

You keep score as you score.

It's kinky.

I like it. You're the only one for me.
What can I say? It's my sentimental

dream. I can't explain.

What's a sore back compared to a broken
heart? Very poetic.

There's no way James would come and work
in a place like this.

You kidding me? This is exactly the type
of place James would work in. Tours,

Ophelia, an Omega house.

But that was the old James. The
drinking, womanizing, partying till he

James. The new James would never...

going on here, James?

You said you were serving hors d
'oeuvres. More like horse curves.

Oh, get back here.

This isn't what it looks like.

Kind of.

Sort of.

This is great.

I come all this way, I get dumped, and
now where am I supposed to stay?

There's a beach house down the street.
All right, you guys can hang there.

Right guy.

Good to meet you, man. You're quite a
legend back on campus.

Glad to see you're cementing quite a
reputation here as well.

Don't believe everything you hear.

Or see.

Hi. Wait, wait.

Come on, let me try to explain this at
least.

Go ahead.

Let's hear it.

All right.

There's no explaining this.

But what the hell are you doing down
here anyway, huh? What, are you checking

on me? You don't trust me or something?

All right. You've got every reason in
the universe not to trust me.

But I didn't lie to you. You told me you
were working at Dee Dee's. Dee Dee's?

Double D's? It's kind of the same thing,
maybe sort of. You told me you were

gaining valuable work experience.

I am.

Life lessons money can't buy.

You told me you loved me.

You'd never lie to me, cheat on me,
break my heart. I do love you. I haven't

done those things.

All right.

Now I've heard it all.

God. Julia.

It's just like the house I grew up in,
but way smaller.

This is great.

We're staying here.

On the bar.

Awesome.

Locked on the bar. And now we can get
down to the two most important things in

life.

Drinking. And how did I know that was
the second most important thing in life

you? It's actually the first most
important. I was just thirsty.

Well, Zach, anyone can walk in.

Exactly. Well, what about Larry and
Ophelia?

Kinky. I like it.

That would spice things up.

Nice.

What's up, bro? What can I get you?

Something alcoholic.

Something very alcoholic.

All right.

Dollar shot coming up.

Drinking to forget, huh?

I never want to be sober again.

Bad breakup?

Are there any good ones?

Guess not, bro.

Who's she?

She?

It's not your rebound, though.

James would not be happy.

Neither would his wife.

Did you forget we're married now?

How many more chances am I supposed to
give you? You lied to me.

Okay.

Technically, I didn't lie to you. Okay?

I just didn't tell you the truth.

Okay, so here's your chance. Go ahead.

Well... I hope you two will be very
happy together, whoever she is. Oh, my

It's complicated, Ophelia. You know I'm
not good at complicated.

No, James, it's simple, really.

I didn't lie to you.

But you didn't tell the truth.

guessing he didn't mention not shagging
like rabbits in my living room.

This is your place?

Uh -huh. Well, there's plenty of space
for all of us.

Ignore him. I'm Karen, by the way.

The name's Jenny, James' sister.

It's not enough.

Even after everything, it is still not
enough to make the loan payment.

She called.

We are going to lose Double D's.

And Dick Johnson will have won, and his
bar will be the only bar down on the

beach. She says she wants to meet with
me.

She says we need to talk.

Dude! What is going on, bro? You come
down here to help me save the bar, and

then some chick walks in, and suddenly
you're a dribbling wreck.

She's not just some chick, Jen.

Oh.

She's my wife.

James. Her name is Ophelia.

She's the love of my life.

I've lost her.

Okay, wait.

This is a lot to take in here. Okay,
first of all...

you can't get married and not tell your
little sister.

And second, you can't get married,
James. Period.

I know.

And I know.

So I'm guessing that if she doesn't know
about me, and she doesn't know about

your life before college, then she
doesn't know about Layla.

Layla.

Oh yeah, that's hot.

Oh yeah, work it.

Okay.

Yeah. Give me your hand.

Oh yeah.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, a little water down
your back.

Oh, that's hot.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Oh yeah, a little more.

Oh, babe.

Work it. These are going to be good.

Oh, beautiful, baby.

Let's work it.

Oh, these are going to be good.

Okay, now I'm already back. You're
suffocating me. What? Can't a guy be

how sexy his new girl is? Send out a mad
female with sexy pictures attached if

we're getting hot and heavy in the
bathtub?

You're back.

Kidding. I'm kidding. These are strictly
for my Facebook page.

Look. There's something we need to talk
about.

Look, if this involves chips, dip, and
whips, then I'm in.

I'm being serious.

I think we need a break.

We're on a break.

Spring break.

That's not what I mean.

I mean, I think we need some space.

Come again?

Look, we've been inseparable these last
couple weeks, and I think that if we're

really meant to be together, then this
time apart should just bring us closer.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Look, if this is about the sexy
pictures, then I'm sorry. I didn't mean

It's not about the sexy pictures.

Okay.

Fine.

Spring breakup it is.

Zach!

You know what you need?

A drinky drink?

No. You need to screw those blues away.

The only way to get over a breakup.
Trust me. I should know.

I'll check it fast.

Yeah, right.

You two are practically married.

Karen and I are on spring breakup. The
chains are off. Now I'm all about

laid as fast and as often as possible.

I doubt it'll be often, but it will
definitely be fast.

In fact, I'm sure of that.

Time out, kids.

Let's have a fair fight.

Spring break scoreboard.

The what?

Tradition. You keep score as you score.

The winner is crowned king of spring
break.

Or clean.

So, game on then. Sure. Why not?

Who's that?

Oh, that's Brody.

He's the guy to beat around these parts.
He gets more pussy than an animal

shelter.

Now it's 10 points for first base.

20 for rounding second.

30 if you even make it to third.

How much for a home run?

50 points.

Oh that's Brody.

But you better be nice to the girls you
score with because we're working on an

honor system here.

Last time he heard the word honor, he
was groveling at a judge's feet trying

get out of lewd conduct charges.

There's nothing lewd about photocopying
your junk.

What do you say, Larry? You in?

Whatever happened to love?

Oh, that's the spirit.

Another day, another A.

I'm the best of the best, baby. There's
no contest. It's not even close.

Well, there's always the ice princess.

500 points.

You could give me 1 ,000 points, okay?
And me, even me, can't get in that

cave. Who's the ice princess?

Untouched by human hands, legend has it
that if she even looks at you, you

freeze to death.

Well, may the best man or woman win.

Thank you for meeting with me.

You're not meeting with me.

I'm not?

Baby.

It's on.

It's so on.

Don't you think we should, like, get to
know each other?

What's there to know?

My name?

Sorry to interrupt.

Karen, your kids are in the car crying.
The least you can do is crack the

window.

So, we've been married for three months,
but is that too late to get an unknown

wind?

Was the marriage consummated?

Hell yeah.

Three months later, she's still learning
to walk again.

What about fraud?

That's grounds for divorce, right? You
really want a divorce?

You cheated on me.

I didn't cheat this time, okay?

Jenny, the girl you saw me with, she's
my sister.

What? Since when?

Why have you never told me about her?

My life back here, it got complicated.

Okay, so when I moved away to college, I
just decided to leave it all behind.

And then I met you, you know, and... Had
amnesia?

I fell in love, Ophelia, with you.

With my new life.

I hadn't heard from Jenny in years.

I mean, she knew I had to get away.

But when she called me and told me the
bar was in trouble, I knew she needed my

help.

It's kind of touching.

I guess.

She always dreamed of running a bar on
the beach.

Well, I understand. I mean, that place
has a certain charm about it.

Good. Okay. I'm glad you like it because
you kind of own part of it.

What?

Damn. I thought I was good looking.

My bad.

Hey, Zach, pharmacy just delivered this.
They said if you don't use it three

times a day, your junk's gonna fall off.

No.

You invested all our money in that ratty
bar?

Please, tell me you're joking.

I'm doing this.

For us, okay? Me and you.

You always said you wanted me to grow
up, take some responsibility.

Well, here I am, taking responsibility.

By risking everything we have without
even talking to me about it?

Married couples just don't do this.

Well, in point of fact, you're not
actually married.

We're not?

You can't actually be married legally to
someone who's already married.

Who's already married?

Florida records show a marriage between
a James Tyler and a Layla Monroe from

seven years ago.

Okay. This is going to take some
explaining, but I can do... Okay, but I

Ophelia.

Thanks.

Dead heat. Looks like the game goes on.

That dude's out of control.

What's he got that I don't?

Well, where do you want me to start?

The front or the back?

Whoa, what happened to you?

Ice princess.

You've got to be kidding me. You nailed
the ice princess?

Whatever. In what backward dance world
is this even possible?

I think I accidentally used the subtle
art of reverse psychology.

The what now?

She's so used to having guys throw
themselves at her, she automatically

them.

Forget about it, pal.

Forget about what?

I thought you were going to say
something.

Like what?

Some sort of line.

clumsy remark to try and have sex with
me.

Believe me, I wasn't.

In fact, I wouldn't have sex with you if
you were the last woman on Earth.

The truth is, if we keep talking, all
these guys will think we're together

and leave me alone.

I know everyone thinks I'm this cold
-hearted... Bitch?

Yeah.

I just got out of a bad breakup and, you
know, I just don't feel like talking to

anybody.

Yeah, I can relate.

So you had a bad breakup?

Is there any good one?

Are you kidding me?

That's all it took to nail her talking
about a breakup. I could have done that.

Ignore him, Larry.

Keep going.

So? We spent the afternoon just talking,
and the less I paid attention to her,

the more into me she got.

Until...

Baby?

No.

Uh -oh.

just scored the hottest chick on spring
break.

But when you're not in love, it's just
pure animal sex.

And what would be the fun in that?

Hey, me and the girls from my sorority
are going skinny dipping.

You maybe want to come with us?

I wouldn't come skinny dipping with you
if you were the last woman on earth.

Oh,

baby.

Listen, I was young.

Okay? I was an idiot.

I know.

Now I'm an older idiot.

Listen, I feel you.

I'll find Layla.

I'll get her to sign those divorce
papers, and we will get married again.

Okay? For real this time.

It's one more chance.

Okay? That's all I'm asking.

I forgave you, but you...

Tried to sell those plaster casts you
made of my breasts on eBay.

When you cut peekaboo holes in all of my
bras.

I even forgave you when you got my
parents' private sex tape accepted at

But this, this is unforgivable.

Come on.

No more chances, James.

Ophelia.

I love you.

I love you.

Tell everyone I said bye, okay?

No, Ophelia.

Ophelia, please don't go.

Well, I say we make movies, big hits.
Cinema Gold, ta -da!

I'm supposed to be a serious filmmaker.

There's not going to be any more
Springbank scoreboard if we can't make

mortgage payment. He is watching us, you
know that.

I heard bank.

Hmm.

Cheese, never ever, never ever, better
than me. Cheese, never

ever, never ever, better than me.
Cheese, never ever.

Never better than me Never better than
me