Original subtitles

Many, are the darkling,

forgotten facets of our world.

And boundless is our secret fascination with them.

For the next half hour, turn not a blind third eye

to these twilight anomalies.

But, rather, draw back the canvas portal and behold

the wonderment that is MTV's "Oddities."

- MR. GONE NARRATES: Most of us inhabit at least

two worlds...the real world, where we're at the mercy of

circumstance, and the world within, the unconscious,

a safe place where we can escape.

The Maxx shifts between these worlds...against his will.

Here, homeless, he lives in a box in an alley.

The only one who really cares for him is Julie Winters,

a freelance social worker.

But in Pangaea, the other world, he rules the Outback

and is the protector of Julie, his Jungle Queen.

- There, he cares for her.

But he always ends up back in the real world.

And me, old Mr. Gone...

Only I can see that the secret which unites them

could destroy them.

I could be helpful.

Ah, screw it!

I think I'll have some fun with them, first.

- MAXX NARRATES: It's wet, dark and wet, the kind of

weather that penetrates, makes your skin feel itchy

and oily...dirty, kind of, but real, too.

That's good.

It's time for "Cheers": Sam and Diane and Norm Peterson,

the Coach, and then, after he died, Woody.

I don't have a TV now, but that's okay.

The shows in my mind are almost always better.

The theater crowd's just arriving.

- This isn't the Jewetson.

We're still three blocks...

- Rats! Never mind. I'll walk. Idiot.

Doesn't even know his own stupid business.

- Hey, more goods.

- Yeah, Randy delivers, don't he?

- Heh heh.

- MAXX: The skinny one's Tito, the big one's Fridge.

They beat people up, take their money, kill them sometimes.

The cab driver gets a third.

One woman got away by running three blocks on a broken foot.

- WOMAN:

- Sometimes it's luck that saves them.

- Sometimes it's fate.

- Hey, Fridge, here's another one.

You ever seen anybody with so much change in their purse,

huh, Fridge?

I, I say, you ever seen anybody with...

Wha...Who are you?

- Yeah, usually it's fate.

But sometimes... - It's me!

- POLICE OFFICER: Yes, and sometimes it's us.

All right, everybody freeze!

- Damn, I was talking out loud again.

- FRIDGE: Hey, officers, uh, good thing that you stopped by.

Uh, this big purple nutcase here was going to kill us.

Oh, god...

Finally, the cops.

- The police are gone.

- Hey, you're not... - No, I'm not.

- WOMAN:

- OFFICER: Say, Baker, the call mentioned a possible female

victim.

Do you remember any woman back there?

- Nah, if there was a victim or something,

I think we'd have seen her.

- Yeah, I guess. What do we do with laughing boy?

- I don't know if we can hold him, though.

There was no assault victim, no muggers, no little blue man,

nothing.

- So we run him in for loitering, as usual.

- You know, it must be great being nuts.

You get to dress up in purple underwear, mumble to yourself,

do whatever you want, and have other people clean up your mess.

- Yeah, like us.

- Oh, god...

- All right, all right, let's pipe down back there.

- OFFICER BAKER:

- I hate this.

I'm out of control again.

I don't remember where I was this week.

I saw a paper.

It said it was Friday.

Last I remember, it was Sunday.

- OFFICER BAKER: I love, cheese.

I love the stinky stuff, too, like that blue in the back

there.

- OFFICER:

- Oh, god...

It's started again.

The pounding.

God, I wish I were drunk...at least that would explain this!

- Great.

Where the heck am I now?

So now what?

These hands...each as strong as a man.

Hungry as death.

They will drag a man down to nothingness.

To oblivion!

It's starting to fade.

It's starting to come back to me now.

Back to Australia.

Not the Australia they teach you about in the cities...

the Outback.

No, the real Australia, the smoking caves, the gods

who eat mountains, the flying dragons, the rivers of gold,

the Leopard Queen taunting me, almost an enemy, beautiful

and feral as the great beasts she runs with.

Still, she inspires me.

For her I can be...

a hero!

- JULIE: Aw, geez, who writes this crap?

I've gotta ask you some questions from the psychological

exam to see if you qualify for social assistance.

- Hello, City Health and Human Services.

Hey, Mr. Berg.

Uh, the rent?

Can you hold on just a second?

- BERG: Hey, wait a minute, Julie, Julie.

- So, here's the first question.

Who's the President right now?

- Um...um...

Oh...oh, wait a minute...

Um...

No. No.

- BERG: Julie, hello?

- Okay, okay, okay.

We'll come back to that.

- BERG: Hello?

- So, here's the next question.

If you were lost in an airport, what's the first thing you'd do?

- Um...

Uh...

Uh...

I've never been in an airport before.

- Oh, goody, I'll just mark that right down.

- And I've never seen a social worker dressed like you

neither.

Kinda like a hooker.

- Thanks, for sharing that.

Keep in mind that I have a job while you have a blanket

with vomit on it.

- I like my blanket.

- BERG: Is there anybody there?

Hello? Hello?

Julie, can you...

- Hello, City Health and... - MALE VOICE: I did it all

for you, Julie.

The pain, the sex.

It was all for you.

- Phone creeps!

- Listen, filth... - Police.

- Oh, hello, Sergeant Ocono.

- OCONO: I heard that.

- No, I didn't mean you.

I would never call you that...

to your face.

- OCONO: I've got your purple pal here.

- You've got him again?

- OCONO: He bit Baker's finger off again.

- Okay, I'll be right down.

- OCONO: He's being a big pain in my...

- Yeah, I know he gives you a lot of trouble.

- OCONO: I don't get paid enough for this job.

- I know...you don't get paid nearly enough.

I'll bring the usual. Bye.

- OCONO: All right. Bye.

You know, if it weren't for the graft, corruption,

and violence, this city wouldn't be any fun at all.

Assault and battery.

Breaking and entering.

Attempted murder.

Every time it's something different.

He really thinks he's some kind of flaming superhero...not that

the city couldn't use one.

- OCONO: Hey, Miss Julie.

- Hi, Ocono.

You got a package for me?

- You got a package for me?

You shouldn't hang around with wacko creeps like that,

Miss Julie.

They just had a college professor on the radio that's

saying how women send out certain signals and that's what

attracts these scumballs like that Gone character.

Maybe I'm out of line here, but with a flaky get-up like that,

aren't you worried about sending out the wrong signals?

- OCONO: Signal loud and clear.

He's in back.

- There, that wasn't so hard for a reasonably intelligent

mammal, now was it?

- OCONO:

- Hey, Maxx, it's getting harder and harder to buy you

outta here.

I heard you almost bit off Baker's finger this time.

- I didn't do it.

- Well, he just got 12 stitches to hold his hand together.

Now if it wasn't you, then who did it?

- It was the mask.

- Yeah, right.

- I warned him not to get too close.

- Let's just drop it, okay?

Come on, ya old lug.

Let's get ya some new clothes, food, and a hot bath.

- Okay, but no bubbles this time.

- * I'm in love * With a school bus driver

* He can be...

- MAN: Safe home, dear friends, and come again, to behold the

mysteries of MTV's "Oddities."