Original subtitles

[gun shoots and clicks] [tense music]

[monster screaming]

[wind blowing] [electricity buzzing]

[Hazel panting]

[gentle music]

[Hazel panting]

- [Hazel] She was a young woman with big hopes and dreams.

[Hazel panting]

An optimist who had a positive effect on everyone she knew.

Unfortunately, it all ended

at that bus stop in Rearden, Oklahoma.

Dori Devers was never seen or heard from again.

[gentle music]

[bird squawking]

[waves splashing]

[gentle music continues]

But that doesn't mean she won't be found someday.

It doesn't mean we will forget her or give up looking.

We owe her our best efforts.

[gentle music]

[waves splashing]

Please review all documents

in the case file on our website,

and pass them on to those who might know more.

Hazel's Eyes are watching,

and I know you will be watching as well.

Until next time, my friends,

peace, love, and respect to all.

[Hazel screaming]

- [Announcer] Today's episode is brought

to you by Crazy Cubes.

Are you ready to get crazy?

Get in the game with America's favorite new craze,

Crazy Cubes.

Those wacky, Crazy Cube monsters are on the loose

and it's up to you to capture them.

But you have to act fast before they eat

everyone in town.

Get your crazy on with Crazy Cubes,

now available in the App Store

from No Place Entertainment.

- [Hazel] Hazel's Eyes is produced

by Exhilarated Entertainment

and myself, Hazel Hendrix.

Follow us online and thank you for listening.

Till next time, stay safe, stay aware,

and never stop fighting to seek the truth.

[gentle music]

[Hazel sighs]

[coffee bubbling]

[gentle music continues]

[coffee trickling]

[gentle music continues]

[upbeat music]

♪ Play your card in the spokes ♪

♪ Swerving through street lights ♪

♪ Puff urban burn nights on urban sights ♪

♪ Moving serpent life in certain stripes ♪

♪ Used to cope banging skateboards and coping pipe ♪

♪ Before the open mic ♪

♪ I rode life on road dice ♪

♪ Yikes ♪

♪ Pencil hanging from my ear on the right ♪

♪ It all meant something ♪

♪ If it meant nothing ♪

♪ Bumping, jumping out my stuffing under moonbeams ♪

♪ 40 ounce greens felt the gutter on my sleeves ♪

♪ 'Cause my mother worked threes ♪

♪ But my brothers weren't street ♪

♪ So neither was me ♪

♪ Lesson out of life ♪

♪ That lesson ain't free ♪

♪ Three stacks raised me like a black power fist ♪

♪ Milky white kid, losing prejudice ♪

♪ It's the nurture of a voice that makes sense ♪

♪ In a world that's rinsed ♪

♪ Future and suspense like ♪

♪ I ain't never had that silver spoon ♪

♪ Life on the moon ♪

♪ By the light of the moon ♪

♪ I put my hands up on the free fall ♪

♪ Now stand up, if I recall ♪

♪ Because I ain't never had that silver spoon ♪

♪ Life on the moon ♪

♪ By the light of the moon ♪

♪ I put my hands up on the free fall ♪

♪ Now stand up if I recall ♪

♪ And bear my spirit like the thread ♪

♪ On the cuff of my jeans ♪

♪ Where I scuff 'em on streets when I'm hitting them ♪

[phone buzzing]

- [Hazel] Heya Bob!

- Hey Hazel!

- Hey, just sent over Dori Devers.

- [Bob] I saw it.

- Three weeks from now, the 19th.

- [Bob] Yep. Got it.

- And Angela Martino drops this Monday

at 7:00 AM, correct?

- Yep, you got it. Monday at 7:00.

- Great. Enjoy your weekend, Bob.

- You too, Hazel.

Hey, you know, I was thinking,

you wanna get.

Hazel?

[Hazel blows]

[phone ringing]

- Exhilarated, how may I direct your call?

- Hazel Hendrix for Jay.

- Oh, of course, Ms. Hendrix.

Uh, one moment, please.

- Thanks, Anise.

[door knocking]

- Yeah?

- Hazel Hendrix is on line three.

- Oh, shit, um.

Can I have a coffee, please?

Thank you.

There she is.

How's my favorite Sonic Sherlock?

- [laughs] Hmm.

Hey Jay.

- What's shaking in the pod sphere?

- Just finished for the week.

- Good, good.

Did you get everything front loaded like you wanted?

- Mission accomplished.

- Well then, it's vacation time.

Congratulations.

Where are you going again?

- Funny.

- [laughs] I mean, what's on tap?

- I've got five long books,

a case of red, a case of white,

some other goodies and no deadlines.

- [Jay] Fiction or true crime?

- Uh, fiction, mostly young adult.

- Seriously?

- No, not seriously.

- Funny. What kind of goodies?

- Oh, donuts, chocolate, ice cream.

You know, sounds like a party.

- Yep, sounds like you're ready to get drunk and fat.

- [Hazel] Que sera, sera.

- [Jay] No, but seriously, I'm glad you have

this opportunity to relax.

You deserve a vacation, even if it's a-

- A staycation, I get it.

- You know what I like to do when I go on vacation?

- I don't think I want to know.

- I like to reflect.

I like to reflect on where I've been, where I'm going.

All the amazing advice

I've gotten from people who advise me.

For you, it's me,

it's your tele shrink, et cetera, et cetera.

For me, it's, well, it's my fucking mother.

- And what should I reflect upon?

- Oh, I don't know, maybe the incredible work

you've been doing the past two years.

- Thank you. Thank you.

I'll be here all week.

Remember to tip your server tip.

- But also the next steps, the next level,

not just a podcast, but a podcasting network, okay?

Not just shows from your home studio, but a live tour.

Okay, the, uh, the Hazel's Eyes franchise, yeah?

- I hear you, Jay.

I've heard you, but you know,

you know that's impossible right now.

- Um, right now, right now, that's improbable.

But, kid, no bullshit.

You're an incredible fucking talent.

You're doing remarkable things.

Young women love you.

People are connecting with you,

but you can't go all the way

until you walk out the front door,

figuratively and literally.

- Right now, all I can give you is the pod and the book,

that's all I can do, and the, the merch.

The merch is selling well, yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, it's great.

Your, your coffee mugs and your T-shirts

are cute and everything.

They're great for your yas queers,

but that's small fucking potatoes and you know it,

and you are not small fucking potatoes.

Do you understand what I'm saying, Hazy?

- Don't call me that. And yes.

- Note taken.

All I'm saying is you're bigger than this, okay?

You're better than this.

You are stronger than-

- I said I get it, Jay.

- Fair enough.

But seriously, internalize this.

[tense music]

- I will.

- Yeah, I, I, I know you

and I 100% feel like you're placating me right now.

- Oh, no, I would never do that.

You also know this conversation is over, right?

- Yes, I'm very perceptive, didn't you know?

Look, kid, I'm just trying to do the best for my client.

- I appreciate it.

- Take my advice. - I will.

I will reflect and I will come back with lots of fresh ideas

and a two varying degrees more open mind in two weeks.

- I know you will.

- Hold everything, okay? - I will do.

- Take care of yourself.

- You too, kiddo.

Oh, and my mother says thank you for the coffee mug.

- [laughs] My pleasure.

[Jay sighs]

[gentle music]

- Yum.

[alarm beeping]

- [Security Alert] Visitor approaching.

[gentle music continues]

[doorbell rings] [door knocks]

[birds singing]

- Shit.

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel sighs]

[tense music]

[Hazel pants]

[Hazel groans]

[tense music continues]

[door clicks and beeps]

[phone keyboard tapping]

[notifications whooshing]

[phone keyboard tapping] [notifications whooshing]

[Hazel sighs]

[tense music]

[feet banging]

- [Johnny] Really be scared.

- Johnny. - You're still afraid.

- [Barbara] Stop it now. I mean it.

[Hazel panting] [machine squeaking]

- [Johnny] They're coming to get you, Barbara.

- Stop it!

You are ignorant.

- They're coming for you, Barbara.

- Stop it.

You're acting like a child.

- They're coming for you. Look!

[gentle music]

[water splashing]

[Hazel sighs]

- [Hazel] Hello.

- [Therapist] Hello Hazel.

Nice to see you again.

- [Hazel] You as well.

Am I your last of the week?

- Yes, I like to save my best to last.

How have you been?

- Busy, but well.

I'm on vacation now.

I really powerhoused the back half of the month

and bought myself two weeks of solitude.

- Oh, I had no doubt.

You were determined to do so.

How do you feel?

- Weird.

Good, but weird.

I'm already a little anxious.

You know how I don't like to stop.

- What's making you anxious?

- Work is comforting for me.

When I'm working on the pod,

I have something positive to focus on.

- You focus on your work and not on you.

- Yes.

When I'm not working, I feel a void.

I feel the loneliness.

- Yet you were determined

to buy yourself these two weeks.

- Yes.

- That's a step in the right direction.

You're actively trying to change.

- Or I'm just a masochist.

- Facing one's fear is not masochistic, it's brave.

- I don't feel brave.

I feel scared.

- [Therapist] Scared of?

- I don't know, my failures, my successes.

It's hard.

It's, it's hard being strong

for all of these women.

This crazy, amazing community of women.

I feel like it's a house of cards

and I'm the only one who sees it

and knows how fragile it is.

- You put a lot of pressure on yourself,

that's the reason you're so successful.

But it's also a double-edged sword

if you don't give yourself a break

or a chance to fail every now and then.

- Earlier my agent was telling me

I need to get out on the road, leave the house.

I'm not living up to all that I can be.

- Do you agree with him?

- On some level, sure.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I could do what my fellow podcasters do,

hit the road, spread the word.

Embrace the success, tour like a rockstar.

What Jay doesn't understand is I am dealing with

immersed in dark, dangerous material,

and it, it affects me.

I love it, don't get me wrong, but it takes its toll.

And if I have to sacrifice

having wine with my girlfriends or going to a bar

and to meet some douche bag so I can get laid,

I'm going to stay home and do my work.

My work has saved someone's life.

What the fuck does my stupid asshole

LA fucking agent know about it?

- He doesn't.

- He doesn't.

I'm sorry. I'm complaining.

These are first world problems.

- Your feelings are valid.

Your problems are real problems.

You shouldn't minimize them.

- I just need a break.

[gentle music]

- Hazel.

[Hazel panting]

Hazel.

[Hazel panting]

What are you thinking about?

- Nothing.

- Ah, I noticed you were eyeing something off screen.

- Well, thought I could either be coy

and hide it in a coffee mug,

or else I could just be transparent.

- Yet you still feel the need to keep it out of frame.

- Yeah, well, appearances and whatnot.

- Hazel, you're an adult.

You're at home.

You're not driving anywhere

and you're paying for this time.

- I almost took a step outside before.

- Really? And how do you feel about that?

- Pathetic.

- You don't feel encouraged

that you almost did what you haven't done in a long time?

- No, I feel pathetic, plain and simple.

I started chatting with someone online.

- Was this chat true crime related?

- It started that way.

The Flynt murders.

Really disturbing case.

A listener had some good insights,

and then we just started chatting.

- Does he know who you are?

- As much as any other listener does.

Goes by the name of SuperSleuth77.

- This is new.

You usually stick to business on these boards.

- It's boredom and I'm pretty fucking horny.

It's been a long time.

- I thought you didn't care about douche bags

at bars and getting laid.

- You got me there.

But SuperSleuth doesn't really seem

to wreak of douche bag.

- I see.

And how does that make you feel considering?

- This has nothing to do with that.

It's the want to scratch an itch, that's all.

- Are you considering having him over?

- No. I don't know.

Possibly.

Given the knowledge of true crime, seems smart.

- Any idea what he looks like

or his real name, for starters?

- No, but certainly types with gusto.

- Hmm.

- Always with the hmms.

- Hazel, how does that make you feel?

- About what?

- You know. How does this make you feel?

- I don't know what you mean.

- You do,

but we're still just not talking about it, I take it.

[tense music]

- The hardest thing isn't losing someone you love.

Seems impossible at the time,

but that's not the hardest part.

The hardest thing is losing someone who loves you the most,

when you're their favorite.

Because there's no one left to love you enough

when those that love you the most are gone.

There's a, a thing in you

that in your core that makes you matter,

gives you, gives you purpose,

makes you get out of bed,

keeps getting chipped away

until there's nothing left,

and you wake up one day and realize

that you don't matter anymore.

Not how you need to.

Not, not how it counts for you.

[gentle music]

Work, hobbies, things you used to love,

but now feel robbed of joy

and just pointless.

There's a, there's a uniquely shaped hole

that nothing and no one can fix,

and you realize you are all you've got

and it's never enough.

It's not enough.

So to answer your question,

it doesn't make me feel anything good,

but I'm still here,

so why the fuck not?

[gentle music]

I think I'm gonna go.

[therapist sighs]

- When would you like to meet again?

- I'll call your office.

- Please do.

And Hazel, enjoy your vacation.

- I'm sure I will. - Take care of yourself.

[Hazel sighs]

- Girl, at least you got fucking taste.

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing] [phone buzzing]

I just called you.

- No, you tried to video chat,

and you know I don't go for that shit.

- How old are you?

Who even does phone calls anymore?

It's either text or video chat, no middle ground.

- I hate typing shit

just so that it can get lost in translation,

and typos where for some reason

I always come off like either an idiot

because of auto-correct or a passive aggressive bitch

because I took too long to respond,

or my messages were too short because I was in a hurry.

And on the flip side, I don't wanna have to go

through the process of making sure

I look camera ready every time

I wanna fucking talk to someone.

- You always look great and you know it.

- That's not the point.

- You're fucking impossible.

- How are you? You wanna be radio host?

- I'm good.

- So what are we drinking tonight?

- Ooh, mean little Cab Sav.

You joining me?

- [Sienna] I am now but sticking to my brand.

Bourbon girl for life.

- Nostrovia.

- Slainte.

- How is Steven?

Steve-O.

- Stefano.

Oh, he's gone.

Ended that a week ago for the second time.

- Wait, wait, you dumped him

and then went back for round two?

- Yeah.

- Are you a glutton for punishment or what?

- Oh, time heals all wounds,

and then I reopen them.

- Well, I'm sorry that it ended again.

- I'm not. Fuck that guy.

I mean, he was sweet and all but he was super clingy,

and far too pretentious to get away

with that kind of character flaw.

- How did you two even meet in the first place?

- Dating apps, like plural.

We matched on two different ones.

- Mm. Fun.

- Don't knock it.

That's how you meet people now.

You should totally get on one.

You need to get out there again.

- Um, no, thanks.

That's not my style.

- No style is your style, that's my point.

The app decides all that shit for you.

- And pairs you with some clingy dude

that you just kicked to the curb.

- You gotta do some leg work.

It's a numbers game.

Come on, learn the way of the way of the swipe, baby.

- That sounds like the last thing that I need.

- It's not good to be alone, not for you.

I worry about you.

- Any new prospects?

- Bitch, I've been on three dates since Stefano.

- Wait, I thought you said you two broke up last week.

- We did.

- You absolute whore.

- No, I found Jesus.

I'm not a whore anymore.

- Are you serious?

- No. And don't you slut shame me.

I like to go out. I like to have fun.

I know what I want and I'm not afraid of it.

- Ouch. Thanks.

- I was defending myself, not attacking you.

I didn't make this about you,

you did that all on your own, bitch.

- Well, have any of the dates gone well?

- No, but they were better than Stefano,

and way better than Tyson.

- Who?

- Pre-Stefano Tyson.

I didn't tell you about him?

Oh, fuck.

The guy dumped me, which excuse me,

is my job, by the way.

But he dumped me after a month

and told me he thinks the reason he met me

is so that he could find God,

like he legit thanked me.

- What? Why? [laughs]

- Like, apparently I'm such a deviant

and made him so uncomfortable that it drove him to church.

He told me he would pray for me.

- Oh, wow.

- Like what the fuck?

What a crock of shit.

So I'm such a terrible fucking person

that it turned him into a Jesus freak

as a coping mechanism.

Come to think of it, maybe the results

aren't so great in the dating app world.

- Well, that's still not as bad

as me accidentally bringing your ex-boyfriend home

for Thanksgiving back in college.

- Holy shit, I completely forgot about that.

- The look on dad's face.

- He completely lost his fucking shit at the dinner table.

Um, what was his name?

- Chad.

- Of course it was.

- Oh, dad was all, "Son, you look familiar."

And Chad just sat there and shook his hand

and said, "Yes, sir.

I've had the pleasure of both of your daughters."

- Jesus Christ, I completely forgot

you used to go out and have fun.

- That's not funny.

- See, you did.

You can again.

I know what happened. [phone ringing]

Stop.

[phone ringing]

- Please. - No, fuck off.

I mean, I love you, but fuck off.

- Come on, I, I just wanna see your face.

[phone ringing] [gentle music]

Hi.

- Happy now?

- Yes.

- Are you okay?

- It's just good to see your face.

- Then come over and see it in person.

- Someday. Are you okay?

- [laughs] I'm fucking peachy.

[gentle music]

I do love you, you know.

- Bye.

[gentle music]

[Hazel sighs]

Hello, yeah, I'd like to place an order for delivery.

[gentle music]

[phone ringing] [phone buzzing]

Huh?

Gross.

[phone notification pinging]

[caller breathing] [gentle music continues]

[shutters rattling]

[phone keyboard tapping] [notifications whooshing]

Only happy thoughts.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ How in the world ♪

♪ Did that face steal my girl ♪

♪ Now she's on her knees ♪

♪ And I can't break free ♪

♪ Death ray girl ♪

♪ Up my head ♪

♪ Death ray girl ♪

♪ My boyfriends did ♪

♪ Death ray girl ♪

♪ Up my face ♪

[door beeping]

- [Security Alert] Visitor approaching.

- That was fast.

[upbeat rock music]

[tense music]

[door knocking]

Wait.

No, no.

Hey.

Hey.

[tense music]

[sighs] Fuck. God.

[upbeat rock music]

[vocalist screaming]

♪ I feel this way ♪

♪ Out of this world ♪

[door beeping]

- Ow!

♪ Now she's on her knees ♪

♪ And I can't break free ♪

[vocalist screaming] [upbeat rock music]

[wood clatters]

- Shit.

[gentle music]

[gentle music continues]

Here's to opening doors.

[knife scratching] [tense music]

[bugs chirping]

[Hazel sighs]

[gentle upbeat music]

- On today's episode,

the headlines that shook the Midwest to its core,

a serial killer's genesis,

and a desperate cop's manic search to find his missing wife.

Years later, the body count has risen,

but the answers have never come.

Food coma. To this day,

investigators still believe Tyler Smythe

is their prime suspect, but have never been

able to connect- Wishes she had cigarettes,

Any evidence to him.

And so join us as we dive into the disappearance-

Wishes she still smoked cigarettes.

Of Kate Washington.

This is Hazel's Eyes.

First things first, we've gotta pay some bills here.

Today's episode is brought to you by helpiswaiting.com.

I grew up in a household

that never talked about mental health.

Anxiety and depression weren't in my vocabulary.

Imagine my surprise when I grew up

and learned those moments

my parents told me "Don't worry so much"

were actually panic attacks.

I had to learn it's okay to not be okay,

and a big step in that journey of discovery

was making the decision to talk to someone.

Whatever your struggle, the trained professionals

at Help is Waiting are available 24/7

and are here for you.

Sign up today and use code Hazel On The Air to save 15%.

You see, Cat was described as.

[tense music]

Whoa.

[tense music continues]

[Painting Man groaning]

- [Painting Man] Hazel.

Are you there?

[tense music continues]

[computer ringing]

- So at 7:45, Cat parts ways with Kit,

heads further down the street,

where she buys a coffee and a blueberry muffin.

This is all confirmed from camera footage

from the store and street cameras.

Cat calls an Uber to the corner

of Altgeld and Kimble where she waits.

But when the Uber arrives six minutes later,

there's no sign of Cat.

When Cat isn't home by 8:40,

Alex calls Cat's phone but it goes straight to voicemail.

Alex never got Kit's number,

but assumes Cat was still over there,

even though the text she received stated otherwise.

When 10:00 AM rolls around, Alex becomes annoyed.

She leaves more messages on Cat's phone

and instructions on where to meet her

in the stadium parking lot.

Alex leaves her apartment and headed downtown to the game.

At 5:00 PM, Alex gets back to her apartment.

There is still no sign of Cat, still no word from Cat,

and Alex realizes for the first time

that something is very wrong.

Alex called 911 as well as Cat's mother-

- Hey Hazel. - She also remember that-

- Are you there? - Cat's friend of a friend-

- [SuperSleuth] All I see is a black screen.

- Hey, yeah.

I'm just not camera ready, you know?

- [SuperSleuth] It's okay

if you're not comfortable yet, really.

- I see you're of a similar feather,

what with the whole identity protected,

2020 interviewee lighting scheme.

- [SuperSleuth] Touche.

Thought I'd keep you in suspense.

- [Hazel] Vehicle driving away undetected.

[tense music]

[Sophia laughs]

- Better?

- [Hazel] At 7:45, Cat left the party.

We know this because she captured on the CCTV camera

outside of the front door.

- It's okay if you're not ready yet, really.

[tense music]

Is that, is that your show

playing in the background?

- Um, yeah. [laughs]

- You replay your episodes?

- Is it corny?

- No, I actually admire it.

You can learn a lot from your past work.

- I have trouble letting go of my work.

80% full.

Somehow it feels comforting to be able to revisit it,

so background material.

- I remember this episode.

It was a good case.

Disturbing.

That must be hard on you sometimes.

- They definitely all take their toll.

I always wish I could do more.

- But you do enough.

You saved that girl's life.

- The detective saved her life.

- But you got the word out.

The information they needed to find her

came as a direct result of your show.

You helped save her.

I don't know how much more of a difference you could make.

- There are no eyewitnesses.

This episode is what got me to here

and what made this show what it is.

- See?

- Yeah but- - Hazel,

take the compliment.

- Thank you.

- You know it's funny.

- What is?

- I've listened to all your episodes.

I can instantly recognize your voice,

but it still feels like I'm hearing you

for the first time.

It's different over the phone, or so to speak. [laughs]

I'm not sure if that made sense.

I like the sound of your voice.

- Well, you have me at a bit of a disadvantage there.

This is the first time I'm hearing yours.

- And what do you think?

- He immediately lawyered up.

About your voice?

- Yeah, did you imagine it?

- Born in Chicago.

I might have.

- Does it live up to expectations?

- It's good.

You have a very nice voice.

- Well, that means a lot coming from you.

So, how are you?

[gentle music]

- I'm feeling good?

- Was that a question?

- Was it?

- What are you doing?

- I'm reflecting.

- About what?

- What I'm afraid of.

- And what are you afraid of?

- I don't know, but it feels like everything.

- That's heavy.

- I wasn't always like this.

I didn't always used to be afraid.

- How did you used to be?

[dramatic music]

- I used to go out, travel.

Occasionally work would take me away,

but most of the time, I would just go

anywhere, everywhere.

[waves splashing]

My world felt small,

so I went to where I felt small in the world.

Hotel rooms felt like home, always fresh.

Everything right where it belongs.

That feeling of a recent reset

from a moment in someone else's story

who was there before me.

It felt comfortable

and somehow sad.

[gentle music]

I started to feel alone until-

- Until what?

- Nothing.

- Surely you met people along the way?

Maybe took some of them back to those empty hotel rooms.

[gentle upbeat music]

- Sometimes, but that was before.

[Hazel pants]

[Hazel sighs]

[Hazel sighs]

I, I remember the quiet more,

sleeping in a bed you never had to make up in the morning.

Looking out unfamiliar windows.

Watching the sunrise.

Taking in a sunset.

Dreaming of something different,

and finding myself wandering the halls

at night without purpose.

I remember one night in Vegas,

I was wandering around, taking in the lights, the crowd.

I always appreciated the stillness of staying home,

your little hole in the world,

where nothing can hurt you, where you're safe.

And I guess we take pieces of that with us when we go away,

making temporary homes until we can return,

like these protective trauma response

tents for our sense of comfort.

But that all falls away when you're outside,

out from under the safety of roof and of walls.

Life happening in real time

everywhere you turned.

I was surrounded by a constant barrage of lights and sound

and it set my senses on fire,

and I couldn't wait to get back to my room.

I was in a sea of people,

and I couldn't escape the feeling

that I've never felt more alone.

And I guess that was my that's it moment,

that I didn't need what everyone else did,

that I'd give energy to avoid it.

I don't know what I was looking for then,

but I remember realizing that

this wasn't for me and then...

Oh, well, that doesn't matter anymore.

- What, what happened?

- Don't really wanna talk about it,

but I realized that

I didn't like feeling lost,

and I liked my small world,

and so I stay in.

- Wait, you don't leave at all?

- No.

- What if you have to?

- I make sure I don't.

I make sure I'm in control.

- Control is an illusion.

Life has a way of laughing

when you tell it you're in charge.

- You're probably right.

Nevertheless,

it feels like there's air conditioning vents

on the insides of my fingers.

- What? Wait, what? [laughs]

- Nothing.

I, I gotta jump off, I'm sorry.

- Wait, but hold on, wait, I wanted.

[Hazel sighs]

[tense music]

[notifications pinging]

[keyboard tapping]

[notifications pinging]

[keyboard tapping]

[notifications pinging]

[Hazel laughs]

[notifications pinging]

- Her father is part of a digital firm in Chicago.

One lawyer would complain

it appeared that the detectives on the case

never made the effort.

[notifications pinging]

[tense music]

[Hazel scoffs]

[keyboard tapping]

[notification pinging]

[Hazel sighing]

[gentle music]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel groans]

Whoa.

[tense music]

The one that got away.

Before the show begins, a little disclaimer.

Tonight's episode is the kind that's the hardest for me.

The reason you haven't heard a new episode

from me in a while.

This unsolved crime is one that

really got under my skin.

And I'm embarrassed to say

that I got too close to it and lost perspective.

I don't have clarity.

I don't have resolution.

And nothing seems to make sense to me anymore.

So please go into this knowing

this episode may forever remain unfinished.

[tense music]

What's she gonna do by resenting them?

She deserves better than that.

She deserves her fee to drop.

She is part of us until-

[radio crackling]

[Hazel panting]

Oh, shit!

♪ No fucks ♪

♪ This is not a status update ♪

♪ Rate me while they rape us of the resource ♪

♪ Reports say we need ♪

[phone ringing] [tense music]

[caller panting]

- Hello?

Stop calling, asshole.

What she found inside,

she never could have expected,

and it would haunt her forever.

And now it's time to pay some bills.

- [Announcer] Hazel's Eyes is brought to you

by Underhill Home Security Solutions.

Do you have concerns about your family's safety?

You should.

Chat now with a real time security specialist.

Operating at Home Security Solutions

support line is available 24/7.

And there's a 30 day satisfaction

or your money back guarantee.

Your home is your place of peace,

so secure your peace of mind.

Be the upper hand today.

- No!

Oh.

[doorbell ringing]

[door banging]

[tense music]

[Hazel panting]

Can, can I, can I help you?

[tense music continues]

[sobs] Please, just go away.

[doorbell ringing]

[door banging]

What do you want?

[tense music continues]

[visitor panting]

- [Visitor] Take it.

[door bangs]

[Hazel panting]

[door beeps] [lock clicks]

[bugs chirping]

[door beeps] [lock clicks]

[siren wailing] [dramatic music]

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Kill 'em all, kill 'em all ♪

♪ Kill 'em all ♪

♪ Yo, in the club with some motherfucker ♪

♪ You called ♪

♪ Kill 'em all, Kill 'em ♪

- [Hazel] On Sunday morning,

like every autumn Sunday morning,

in Chicago meet with Cat Mildridge.

She woke up.

Chicago morning.

Later on that night.

Unlike most days, she didn't wake up

at her weekday apartment, but instead.

[gentle music]

[book banging]

[phone tapping]

[notification pinging]

[phone tapping]

[notification pinging]

[phone ringing] [Hazel gasping]

Hello?

- Hey, how you feeling?

- I'm, I think.

Are you really there?

- Oh, babe, are you freaking out?

Don't freak out.

- Everything's breathing.

- Uh-huh.

- How long do these last?

- Well, how many did you take?

- Um, about all of them.

- I said take half.

- I'm an overachiever. [laughs]

- Well, this isn't that shit I usually give you.

This is your whole night now.

- Oh, fuck.

- Hey, you're fine.

Just breathe.

Remember what I said?

Happy thoughts only.

You don't wanna have a bad trip.

- What's the scariest thing that's happened

to you while you've done this?

- You don't wanna know that.

Happy thoughts.

- Darcy, please tell me.

I need context.

- It's different for everybody.

One particularly fucked up time,

I was staring at a bunch of trees

and then suddenly they weren't trees,

they were like giant dancing skeletons

spinning pinwheels made of dead babies.

But I wasn't scared.

My first thought was, "Oh, cool,"

which is fucked up

and probably says something about me as a person.

But just don't give your fear any power.

- Oh, oh, shit.

- Hey, you're fine.

- I, I don't know that I am.

- You want me to come over?

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- I'm coming over.

Stay calm, stay positive.

Stare at the lights.

Enjoy the visuals.

He's waiting for you in the bedroom.

- What did you say?

- I said I'll be there soon.

[dramatic music]

[tense music]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel retching]

[Hazel vomiting]

[water splashing]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel sobbing] [water splashing]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel sobbing continues]

[gentle music]

- Whoa.

[Hazel laughing]

[gentle upbeat music]

[gentle upbeat music continues]

[gentle upbeat music continues]

[Hazel sobbing]

- [Elijah] I'll never forget that day.

You somehow knew.

You just came to me and I realized I was craving touch

and I didn't even know it.

But you knew.

You were always perceptive like that.

[gentle music]

- It's you.

- It's me.

- I missed you.

I've missed you so much.

- I've missed you.

- It's been so long.

- You look different. [laughs]

- I, I tried.

I, I tried to go on.

I tried to heal.

I tried to make it go away.

[tense music]

- [Elijah] You've come a long way.

You've done great things.

- I'm scared.

I'm paralyzed by fear and I can't leave.

Sometimes it's all I can do to just breathe.

I feel lost, and I'm alone.

- You're not alone. - I am.

- Why are you trapped inside?

- I can't leave.

- No, I, I don't mean like that.

Why do you keep people at bay?

You don't accept any help,

not from your sister or from your agent.

You're not even being completely honest

with your therapist.

- Don't.

You left me.

I had to put myself back together

from the damaged fucking scraps and wreckage and-

- Say it.

- I was, I was never present,

and I'm sorry.

I regret all the time not spent taking in moments

I didn't know were being taken for granted,

times I was too busy or distracted.

I, I was selfish because I thought I always had more time.

I'm so at capacity

that I feel incapable of doing anything.

Every added drop is overflowing

and it spills out.

And because I'm so frustratingly sensitive and,

and hyper fucking aware of anything bad happening again.

And anytime I think about it,

my, my senses are on fire,

and it feels like there's cinnamon

underneath my skin and I'm vibrating

because you're gone.

She's gone.

This doesn't feel like home anymore.

It's too quiet.

Even when it's not, the silence is deafening.

Fucking wander these halls in a daze,

only to speak and say her name.

I.

She's better than.

She's even better.

[Hazel crying]

She's safe in her bed.

She's safe, she's safe.

[tense music]

- There's nothing you could have done.

There's nothing you could have done.

There's nothing you could have done.

There's nothing anybody could have done.

We did all that we could.

You did all that you could do.

It's not, it's not your fault.

[Hazel sobbing]

- I want, I want her to back.

I just wanna, I,

I just wanna hold her again.

- I know.

I know, but she's gone.

[Hazel crying]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

But baby girl is gone.

- I, I can't remember the last time I held her.

I can't remember.

I still can't remember.

It's funny how good memories fade,

and all the horrible things from the end

just won't go away.

- [Elijah] What did you do?

- I spent a year wishing I would die.

And every day I woke up.

One day I got up.

That was a while ago.

[cork pops]

- Do you want a glass with that?

- It comes in a glass.

[Elijah sighs]

- Hey, let's get out of the house, hmm?

It's time. It's been a month.

- It's been a month.

- We could go for a picnic with your sister.

Have fresh air in the sunshine.

Might do you some good, huh?

Okay, look, I'm hurting too.

I'm just trying to help you.

- You can't help me.

- Well then maybe I'm trying to help myself then.

Please do this for me.

Please.

- Why'd you have to suggest that?

- I was just trying to help.

- I know that.

- I'm sorry.

- I've been living in a pit

and I can't climb out of it,

and I want to do everything just so I can feel alive again,

almost, almost as much as I want to do nothing.

Absolutely fucking nothing.

- No, you're better than that.

You're better than that.

You found your strength, you found your courage.

[Elijah pants]

You don't need anything or anyone.

You are enough.

You are always enough.

- [Hazel] I put all I have

trying to help these women in need.

Like, I can't even help myself step outside.

- [Elijah] What's holding you back?

What are you so afraid of?

- I never really left that day.

I feel frozen in it.

I just keep reliving it over and over again.

- So you stay here?

- Yes.

- Inside.

- Yes.

- Where it's safe.

- Yes.

- But how can you be really sure that it's safe?

- What?

[door banging]

What was that? - Stay with me.

I just want you to be happy.

I've always just wanted you to be happy.

- What was that?

Is, is there someone else here?

- It's just you and me.

- I don't, I don't understand what's happening.

This doesn't feel like a dream,

but it feels like a dream.

- You're awake.

You're waking.

- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what happened.

I tried, I swear I tried.

I wasn't strong enough, I-

- You are strong enough.

- What is it? What is happening?

Is this, is this real? Are you real?

- [Elijah] It's whatever you want it to be.

What you need.

- [Hazel] What I need is to be okay.

I want time back.

I wanna hold her again.

I wanna hold you again.

- [Elijah] You are okay.

- But you're not here.

- I'm here now.

[gentle music]

[Hazel panting]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel sighing]

[Hazel panting]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel panting]

[dramatic music]

- No, no, no!

[Hazel gasps] [tense music]

[Hazel sobbing] [dramatic music]

[dramatic music continues]

[door banging]

♪ He sat down ♪

♪ He said, she said ♪

♪ It's all there ♪

[tense music]

[tense music continues]

- [Painting Man] What are you afraid of?

- What?

- [Painting Man] You're afraid.

What are you afraid of?

- I don't understand.

- [Painting Man] It's a simple question.

- Right now, you're frightening me.

- [Painting Man] Why?

- You're a painting

and you're talking to me,

and you are just art on display.

- [Painting Man] How does that make me different from you?

- What am I afraid of?

- [Painting Man] Yes.

[tense music]

- Everything.

- [Painting Man] Liar.

Why do you not accept the truth?

- I- - What are

you afraid of?

[door beeping]

- [Security Alert] Visitor approaching.

[gentle music]

- Hey, hey, it's me.

Are you okay?

Are you all right?

Are you good?

[sighs] Jesus Christ, babe.

You scared the shit out of me.

You're fine.

Everything is fine.

[gentle upbeat music]

- Darcy? You're here.

You're real?

- Yes, I'm real.

Everything's real.

Dude, you are some special kind of wreckage,

wanting to go on some introverted

at home vision quest to deal with your damage like this.

Honestly, I'm kind of impressed.

- I feel...

Everything's different.

- Yeah, these weren't your average shrooms.

You're getting the VIP treatment, bitch.

Going hard for your first time.

- Wait, what?

- I've got a guy.

I don't really understand the science behind it,

but end result, that shit kicks you in the teeth.

Nothing like what you read about online.

- Shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. - Hey, hey,

you're still fine.

You just took too much,

way too fucking much for your first go.

You have to respect it.

They're a gift from nature.

They're gonna show you whatever you need to see.

- They, I'm in control?

- It's gonna show you whatever it wants to show you.

That's what you'll need to see.

You just have to be open to it.

You've gotta surrender,

and you have to try to stay in a good head space.

If you go dark, it'll go darker.

But I don't really believe in bad trips,

just a different eye-opening experience.

Keep your eyes open.

I gotta pee.

- Oh, okay.

- Drink water.

You have to stay hydrated.

You're gonna be okay.

You haven't started to freak out too much yet,

but you have to remember to stay in control,

or you're gonna have some like syphilitic nightmare.

- But things have been really fucked up.

- Just don't freak out.

You're in it now. Enjoy the ride.

- I keep having these conversations

and these scenes that play out and happen,

[water trickling]

and I know deep down they're not real,

but I feel like.

[tense music]

Darcy?

Darcy, where'd you go?

[Hazel gasps] [light whooshes]

You're okay, you're okay.

[Hazel panting] [tense music]

[creature scuttles and groans] [Hazel yells]

[Hazel groans]

[Hazel gasps]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel gasps] [dramatic music]

[tense music]

[Hazel gasps] [chain rattles]

[Hazel gasps]

Fuck.

[Darcy groaning]

Darcy?

[Hazel gasps] [dramatic music]

Oh, shit. Shit.

[Hazel gasps and yells]

[Darcy groaning]

[Hazel panting]

What the fuck?

Where did you go?

[Hazel sighs]

[alarm whirring] [tense music]

[Hazel grunts]

[Hazel panting]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel panting]

[tense music continues]

Fuck.

[Hazel panting]

[phone ringing]

[Hazel gasps] [footsteps thudding]

[tense music continues]

[door rattling]

[Hazel gasps]

[dramatic music]

- Fuck!

Hazel, what the fuck?

- Darcy?

- Yeah, who the fuck else would it be?

You crazy bitch.

- But wait, wait, you, you-

- What? I what?

- Your face. - What about my fucking face?

What?

It's just me.

Hazel, look at me.

It's me.

Jesus fucking Christ, you fucking cut me,

you fucking psycho.

- I.

[dramatic music]

Get back.

- Hazel, what the fuck is wrong with you?

- I swear to God, back the fuck up.

What do you want?

- What do you mean?

- Was it you?

Did you send me the book?

- What book?

What the fuck are you talking about?

- It was you, wasn't it?

[tense music]

And now you're here.

Are you messing with me?

- Hazel, stop.

- What kind of sick fucking game are you playing here?

- Hazel, listen to me.

Look at me.

You're, you're freaking out.

You're, you're tripping balls

and you're freaking the fuck out.

Just, just look at me.

I'm bleeding all over your house.

What you're seeing isn't real.

- You said everything was real.

- Everything's normal,

you're just not seeing it that way.

- What I'm seeing is what is actually happening.

- Okay, just put down the knife.

Put down the knife and we'll talk.

Please, Hazel,

before you hurt yourself or,

or something really bad happens.

Just let me help you.

Come here. Come here.

Come here.

You're okay.

You're okay.

Everything's okay.

You're gonna be fine now.

Everything's fine.

[dramatic music]

- No!

- What the fuck, Hazel? - Go away.

- [Darcy] No.

Hazel!

- Just go away.

- [Darcy] You shouldn't be alone right now.

- Please just go away.

- [Darcy] But if I go away,

who's gonna protect you from him?

[tense music]

[bugs chirping]

- [Hazel] She felt safe at home that night,

safe in her bed,

certain she was alone in the house.

But she was about to find out

just how tragically wrong that assumption was.

And now a word from our sponsors.

- [Announcer] Today's episode is brought to you

by Crazy Cubes.

[quirky music]

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Those wacky, Crazy Cube monsters are on the loose

and it's up to you to capture them.

But you have to act fast

before they eat everyone in town.

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from No Place Entertainment.

[Hazel panting] [dramatic music]

- No, no! Please, no.

Please, no!

[tense music]

What do you want from me?

Oh, where are you?

[dramatic music]

[Painting Man sniffing]

- You are still afraid.

- I, yes.

- You have questions.

- Yes.

- Ask.

- Is this real?

- Fear.

Your fear is real.

- But I was just being chased and,

and you, here.

[tense music]

[Painting Man breathing]

Am I dying?

[Painting Man breathing]

Am I in danger?

- You assume so.

- There are no eyewitnesses

who remember Cat standing on the intersection

of Altgeld and Kimble.

Why-But we know

she's walked there because-

- My podcast. - You must listen.

There.

There you will find answers.

- Answers.

In my show?

[Painting Man breathing] [tense music]

I have to fix it.

One without closure, I, if I can.

I have to solve the case,

then I can make everything okay, then I can.

[tense music]

[dramatic music]

[Hazel groans]

[paper rustling]

[dramatic music continues]

[Hazel yells]

I can't solve.

[paper rustling]

I can't.

[Hazel panting] [dramatic music continues]

[group chatting indistinctly]

[gentle music] [upbeat rock music]

♪ I won't die, so let me go ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Oh no ♪

♪ Walk all night ♪

♪ Let's just go ♪

♪ I wasn't ready ♪

♪ I wasn't ready ♪

♪ That's all I was there for ♪

- There you are.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

- I'm sorry, I, I don't-

- How could you do that?

- What?

- How could you do that to her face?

- I, I, I didn't. [gasps]

What? No, I didn't.

How?

- Because you hugged her while wearing that shirt.

- No, no.

No.

I, no.

No, no, I didn't.

- You did.

And now look at what you did to her face. [laughs]

- I, I don't understand.

I, I don't understand any of this, what-

- Look at what you did.

[television crackles] [tense music]

[skin squelching]

[group laughing] [group clapping]

[television crackles]

[party goer laughing]

[Hazel gasps]

[door banging] [Hazel gasps]

[tense music]

- What is happening?

- You're running out of time.

You need to choose.

- Choose what?

I don't understand.

[door banging]

- You have to hurry.

[door banging]

He's going to get in.

He's going to get you. [giggles]

- What do I do?

[door banging] [tense music continues]

- Make a choice.

[door banging]

[dramatic music]

[gun clicks]

[gunshot firing]

[dramatic music continues]

[gunshot firing]

[party blower squeaks]

[dramatic music continues]

[tense music]

[intruder choking]

[intruder chocking]

[Hazel yelling] [pot whacking]

[blood squelching]

[pot smashing]

[party goer clapping]

[group clapping]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel laughing]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel sobbing] [gentle music]

[wind blowing]

- What are you?

What is this? Who said that?

I said that.

Yes.

But what are you?

It doesn't make a sound.

It's dangerous.

There's danger in the trees.

It's not safe to go outside.

It wants to harm you.

[tense music]

But you can't hurt me.

- [Painting Man] What are you afraid of?

[Painting Man breathing] [dramatic music]

[tense music]

- You, you are everything I'm afraid of,

but, but you can't hurt me.

We've lived our life safe since that day.

Safe behind a screen.

Safe behind a microphone.

Safe behind other people's stories.

Safe from harm.

[tense music]

I've lived my life as a prisoner.

I've walled myself up so tightly,

shielded myself from any possible harm.

I'm too safe.

I don't feel alive anymore.

- Why?

- Because I have nothing left to lose.

- Because you're afraid of everything.

- No, not that, that's not right.

I'm not afraid of everything.

I'm afraid of nothing.

I didn't find the answers in the files

'cause the unfinished case isn't there.

It's me.

It's always been me.

[tense music]

You.

You are everything I'm afraid of,

but I'm too far away.

I'm too safe.

Fear of life.

Worry of having something to lose,

something to live for.

Without you, I have nothing that makes me feel alive.

I need you more than you want to hurt me.

[tense music]

You have to finish the case.

I'm the unfinished case.

I never, it's hanging.

On pause.

I have to finish it.

Close your story.

You have to face him.

I have to face you.

You have to let it in.

No, I have to go to it.

Go, go into the woods.

It's calling to you.

- Yes.

[tense music continues]

- I have to leave.

[Hazel gasps]

[lock clicks]

[bugs chirping]

[tense music]

[Hazel sighs]

[door slams] [tense music]

[Hazel pants]

[bugs chirping continues]

[gentle music]

[Hazel pants]

[monster growls] [Hazel gasps]

[bugs chirping continues] [gentle music continues]

[tense music]

[trees rumbling]

[bugs chirping continues] [tense music continues]

[tense music continues]

[car rumbling] [tense music continues]

- And I was so excited about that too,

and I was like, this is gonna be so cool.

- It could have looked cool,

that's the thing but-

[Hazel gasps] [car thuds]

What the hell was that?

- Pull over.

- Shit.

Shit.

Shit!

- Since when do we not have a spare?

- Since we don't.

- My God. How irresponsible can you be?

- [laughs] Oh, I'm sorry, I'm irresponsible?

- Yes. This is 1000% your fault.

- This is absolutely not my fault,

and I think I'm pretty responsible.

- Okay.

- Name one time I was irresponsible.

- Peanut.

- What?

- Why didn't we go to the vet sooner?

- That's not my fault.

Okay, okay, she's gone,

but that happened to me too, remember?

So that's not fair.

I loved her just as much as you did.

- You have no idea how I feel.

- Because you won't talk to me!

Because I have been desperately trying to talk to you,

but you won't let me in.

You won't let me grieve with you,

and now I'm trying.

I am trying to take care of you.

And you know what?

I don't fucking deserve this.

- What, and I do?

- Jesus, Hazel, I just, I don't wanna fight right now.

- Well, get ready 'cause this is happening.

- It's a fucking tire!

And that's not my fault.

And she was sick, and that's not my fault, okay?

Why can't you see that I'm on your side here?

We did everything we could do.

That did not happen in a fucking vacuum.

So, okay, you know what?

We just, we, you know what,

you just need to take a step back.

Relax, calm down.

- I'm the one who needs to calm down?

I didn't even wanna do this, remember?

- All right, you two, look.

It's just a flat, it's just a flat.

No big deal. Everybody chill.

I just text AAA.

- At least someone was prepared.

- Okay, I love you, but shut up.

He didn't know this was gonna happen.

Shit sometimes just goes wrong, okay?

We'll walk down the path, find a clearing.

Help will be here in about half an hour,

and that's just enough time to do what we came here to do.

The food is ready to go.

I'm hungry, so let's motherfucking adapt.

- The plan was to go climbing

and then eat on top of the cliff.

- Which I was never gonna climb.

That's your all's thing.

Plans change.

Come on, roll with it.

- There's gonna be so many fucking ticks in there.

[tense music]

[chain rattling]

Hey, hey, hey.

I am sorry about the spare.

- No, I'm, I'm sorry, it's just-

- I know, it's the worst.

But I love you.

- I don't even think that it's that.

You know how I get when things

don't go according to plan in my head.

- Expectation versus reality.

I know you.

And I miss her.

- I'm really struggling.

- I know.

- And I love you too.

[both kissing]

- See, this isn't so bad.

- Hey, come here.

Come here.

[both kissing]

- Everything's going to be okay, I promise.

[bugs buzzing]

[tense music]

[blood squelching]

[dramatic music]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel panting]

[Sienna yells]

- No!

[knife slicing] [Sienna groaning]

[tense music]

No, no!

- No! [yells]

[tense music]

[Hazel yelling]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel yelling]

[Hazel groaning]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel yelling] [attacker grunting]

[Hazel groaning] [attacker groaning]

[Hazel groaning] [attacker groaning]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel yelling]

[attacker groaning]

[Hazel groaning] [rock whacking]

[tense music continues]

[Hazel panting]

- Hazey.

[Sienna crying] [gentle music]

[gentle music continues]

[Sienna panting]

[gentle music continues]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel sighs]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel panting]

[Hazel sobbing]

[gentle music continues]

[Hazel yelling]

- [Elijah] You were so strong.

You are so strong.

[bugs chirping]

- I'm, I'm not okay.

Nothing feels okay without you here.

- You haven't moved on.

- How can I move on?

I never really came back from that day.

- You never went home.

- Not really.

- You haven't processed your grief.

- I'm not ready for it to be real.

Real means you're gone. - I'm already gone.

It hurts to be away from you.

- Yes, so you died, and so you get to be the victim,

but I'm the one left here broken.

- You're not broken.

[bugs chirping]

Close your eyes.

You have to accept.

[gentle upbeat music]

What do you hear?

[water trickling]

- Water, like a, like a babbling brook.

But I feel underwater,

[tense music]

but not at the bottom of the ocean,

right here in the cold, dark black.

- [Elijah] Where are you?

- [Hazel] In a current.

Everything else has disappeared.

Floating in a dark stream.

Sound is silenced,

and I'm, I'm alone,

alone in the cold and the calm.

- [Elijah] How do you feel?

- [Hazel] Sad, tranquil.

Lost but comforted.

Quiet but frightened.

I feel content,

here with the sounds of unseen water at my breath.

- You know I want you to be happy, right?

[gentle music]

You don't deserve to hurt.

It's okay to move on.

She would want you to.

- I know. - Hey, it's okay.

Open your eyes.

[Hazel gasps]

[bugs chirping] [gentle music]

[birds singing]

[gentle music continues]

[gentle music continues]

[gentle music continues]

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing] [phone buzzing]

- Hazel, oh my God, I've been trying to reach you.

Are you okay?

- Hiya, sis.

- What's wrong? What happened?

- I've, I've had a lot of time to,

to think, to process.

- Hazey.

[gentle music]

- I miss them so much.

So much.

And you're still here but I miss you too.

- You're scaring me.

- It's been a weird fucking night

and I'm not okay.

- I know you're not.

- But I'm going to be.

I'm,

I'm sorry I let you get hurt.

- You never apologize to me.

You saved my life.

I wish that day never happened.

I wish that you didn't have to experience such loss.

I wish that you didn't have to hurt.

I wish that I could take it all away,

but you're my sister.

[gentle music continues]

You're my hero.

And I'm here because of you,

so you don't apologize to me.

I love you.

♪ You don't know the size of the beast ♪

♪ From the eyes in the swamp ♪

[gentle upbeat music]

♪ You can't shake the shit from his shoes ♪

♪ No matter how hard you stomp ♪

♪ You don't know when the worst will knock ♪

♪ And you don't know when the best ♪

♪ Will snuff the spark ♪

♪ Everything's loud but everything's loud ♪

[water splashing] [gentle upbeat music]

♪ In the dark ♪

- What do you think that was in the woods?

- I don't know for sure.

- It sounds like the manifestation of the feeling

of being suspended in reality.

You and your storyline were pulled from the norm.

- I could feel images.

I felt meaning.

I understood the silence.

I know that probably doesn't make any sense.

I, I don't really have a point here.

I just felt like something I needed to share.

- I'm glad you did.

I had no idea you'd gone through any of that.

He killed several women

before he came upon you all that day.

Who knows how many more you saved

because of what you did?

Just like your show.

- The birth of something from a goodbye, I suppose.

- Er, did you get my present?

[Hazel laughs]

- That was you?

- Sorry if my previous messages read weird.

"I'm coming to get you Hazel." [laughs]

- Oh my god, "Night of the Living Dead."

- Yeah, I know you like horror movies.

I thought I was being funny.

I sent it to your PO box hoping they would forward it

to your home address.

I don't actually know where you live.

- If, if I told you,

would you come over?

[vocalists singing] [upbeat music]

- I'd like that, yeah.

My name's Sophia by the way.

[vocalists singing] [upbeat music]

- Her.

[vocalists singing continues] [upbeat music continues]

There.

Now you're safe in your bed.

[vocalists singing continues] [upbeat music continues]

[gentle upbeat music]

[tense music]

♪ Everything's loud ♪

♪ It's a part of us now ♪

[vocalists singing] [upbeat music]

♪ Everything's loud ♪

♪ It's a part of us now ♪

♪ It's a part of us now ♪

♪ It's a part of us ♪

[upbeat rock music]

[upbeat rock music continues]

♪ Lupine, lunar light ♪

♪ Blood dreams, second sight ♪

♪ She screams, that's right ♪

♪ That's just the way it goes ♪

♪ How am I remembering ♪

♪ Last night or anything ♪

♪ Uptight, shivering ♪

♪ From my head to my toes ♪

♪ Oh, your blood runs out ♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪ I can't save you now ♪

♪ I didn't think I could look ♪

♪ I wanna see what it takes ♪

♪ I wanna do it again ♪

♪ Now that I've got the taste ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I should have stayed in bed ♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪ It's loose like cats in the graveyard ♪

♪ Misfits out in the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm all dressed up in red ♪

♪ Kiss, kiss ♪

♪ Just when you think about ♪

♪ Fact, fact ♪

♪ Toss through another one ♪

♪ I should have stayed in bed ♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪ Lupine, lunar light ♪

♪ Blood dreams, second sight ♪

♪ She screams, that's right ♪