Original subtitles

When Cal was a Senior in high school...

Morning, dingleberry.

Yeah...

No, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Yeah, well... put your bra and panties on.

Okay... I'll be there in 10.

...he spent every day with his best friend Derek.

♪ All veils and misty ♪

♪ Streets of blue ♪

♪ Almond looks ♪

♪ That chill divine ♪

♪ Some silken moment ♪

- ♪ Goes on forever ♪

♪ And we're leavin' broken hearts behind ♪

- ♪ Mystify ♪

Let's go! Work it! Work it!

Come on! Let's go! Work hard!

You pansy motherfucker! Let's go, Cal!

Don't be a pussy! Let's go! Work hard!

♪ Mystify me ♪

- ♪ I need perfection ♪ Work hard!

♪ Some twisted selection ♪

♪ That tangles me ♪

♪ To keep me alive ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

- ♪ Mystify me ♪ - Good work, boy.

♪ Mystify, mystify me ♪

♪ Eternally wild with the power ♪

♪ To make every moment come alive ♪

♪ All those stars that shine upon you ♪

♪ Well they kiss you every night ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

♪ Mystify me ♪

♪ Mystify ♪

You wanna get a milkshake?

♪ I'm taking a ride with my best friend ♪

The best part about his relationship with Derek

was that they could talk for hours

about sports, girls, life, whatever.

It didn't matter.

Or they could just sit in silence.

They were that close.

That comfortable.

You can go. - What?

Oh.

He met Marsha junior year.

- What? - Nothin'.

♪ Walking like a man Hitting like a hammer ♪

♪ She's a juvenile scam ♪

Marsha. Marsha, stop.

♪ She's got the look ♪

Marsha... I'm gonna bite your foot I swear to God.

Marsha Do it.

I am driving. - So?

It is dangerous.

♪ She's got the look, she's got the look ♪

♪ She's got the look ♪

Ah...

♪ What in the world can make... ♪

Marsha was way more forward

than any girl he had met before.

♪ When everything... ♪

And even though he wasn't always comfortable,

he was grateful she pushed his boundaries.

♪ She's got the look, she's got the look ♪

Ooh god. Ooh.

♪ And I go la la la la la ♪

Ahh.

He couldn't wait to tell Derek.

And then she unbuttoned my pants,

and, like, just went for it.

Dude, was it good?

I mean, yeah.

And, like...

could she, like, I mean, uh, did she, like, uh, deep throat?

- Yeah. - Oh, nice, dude.

- Where'd you pop? - Where do ya think?

- And she swallowed? - Yeah.

- Wow, dude. Ah. - Yeah.

- So, I mean, she's a keeper? - Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess so.

♪ Together with me and my baby ♪

♪ Break the chains of love ♪

Derek, hit the road.

- Uh... yeah, I'll see you at practice. - Yep.

Have a good night, Mr. Jacobs.

- Get up. - I will.

Right now.

I don't feel well.

You were fine when I walked in.

Dinner's on the table.

Oh fuck.

So, um...

I met a girl.

And so did Derek.

- Hey! Come on in! - Hey!

♪ She floats like a swan ♪

♪ Grace on the water ♪

- ♪ Lips like sugar ♪ I got an idea.

What are you doin', bro?

Oh my god, Derek!

Let's go for a swim.

Yeah, let's do it! Should we do it?

- Oh my god. - Come on, come on!

Come on!

♪ Lips like sugar ♪

- ♪ Sugar kisses ♪

- All right, let's go! - Woo!

♪ Lips like sugar ♪

♪ Sugar kisses ♪

Have fun, guys. Have fun, big boy.

Marsha... what're you doin'?

Hold... Hold on.

Oh... I'm so sorry.

And just like that... it became a regular thing.

♪ Make my back burn ♪

Back then, Marsha would tell him what felt good,

and, eventually, he got better at it.

Oh my god.

- You're smiling. - That was amazing.

- You like it that much? I do.

I'm fine with that.

- Mind if I do it again? - Please do.

And he did like it that much.

In fact, it was all he could think about.

- Really? - I love it.

Yeah, I don't know, uh, I like women, but...

you couldn't pay me to eat pussy.

♪ So many tears I've cried ♪

♪ So much pain inside ♪

♪ But baby, it ain't over 'til it's over ♪

♪ So many years we've tried ♪

♪ To keep our love alive ♪

I win, pussy. I win.

♪ How many times did we give up ♪

♪ But we always worked things out ♪

Cal was going to Duke,

and Derek was going to a state school out west.

When summer ends, your life begins.

- Cheers.

♪ So many tears I've cried ♪

♪ So much pain inside ♪

♪ But baby, it ain't over ♪

Derek insisted they go celebrate...

just the two of them.

All right, I know a place that will serve us.

Just, uh, go up 27.

♪ 'Cause baby, it ain't over 'til it's over ♪

- Woo!

Fuckin' shit.

Oh, how you doin', man?

Hey, how are you guys? - Could we get, uh,

- two tequila shots, please? Let's do it.

Thank you.

♪ I can dream about you ♪

- Straight down for you guys. Thank you.

You're welcome.

I knew they'd serve us here.

Can we get, uh, two more?

Absolutely. Actually... can we get four?

Thank you, man.

Go, go, go, boys.

- Rapid fire. - All right.

- Ah, fuck. - Oh, boy, yep. Up, down, up.

♪ Don't ask me ♪

♪ What you know is true ♪

♪ Don't have to tell you ♪

♪ I love your precious heart ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ I was standing ♪

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds collided ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

♪ We could live ♪

♪ For a thousand years ♪

♪ But if I hurt you ♪

♪ I'd make wine from your tears ♪

♪ I told you ♪

♪ That we could fly ♪

♪ 'Cause we all have wings ♪

♪ But some of us don't know why ♪

♪ I was standing ♪

♪ You were there ♪

♪ Two worlds collided ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

♪ You, don't ask me ♪

♪ You were standing, you know it's true ♪

♪ I was there, worlds collided ♪

♪ Two worlds collided, we're shining through ♪

♪ And they could never tear us apart ♪

Hey.

Hey, babe.

What's wrong?

What?

Are you sure?

Mm-hm.

Are you sure the test is accurate?

Take another one.

Three.

You took three?

Yeah.

Yeah... of course I am.

Okay.

I'll see you in a minute.

I l-love you, too.

♪ Call me irresponsible ♪

♪ Call me unreliable ♪

♪ Throw in undependable, too ♪

♪ Do my foolish alibis ♪

♪ Bother you ♪

♪ Well I'm not too clever ♪

♪ I just adore you ♪

♪ Call me unpredictable ♪

♪ Tell me I'm impractical ♪

♪ Rainbows I'm inclined to pursue ♪

♪ Call me irresponsible ♪

♪ Yes, I'm unreliable ♪

♪ But it's undeniably true ♪

♪ That I'm irresponsibly mad for you ♪

♪ Go on and call me unpredictable ♪

♪ Tell me that I'm impractical ♪

♪ Rainbows I'm inclined to pursue ♪

♪ You go ahead and call me irresponsible ♪

♪ I admit I'm unreliable ♪

♪ But it is undeniably true... ♪

♪ Ooh, I'm irresponsibly mad ♪

Rue?

Are you high?

Oh, fuck me.

Was she there the whole time, or did she just walk in?

I mean...

Now, as a beloved character

that a lot of people are rooting for,

I feel a certain responsibility to make good decisions.

But I relapsed.

In all fairness, I did say in the beginning

I had no intentions of staying clean,

but I get it.

Our country's dark...

and fucked up.

And people, they just wanna find hope...

- Somewhere. - Anywhere.

And if not in reality...

then in television.

Unfortunately... I'm not it.

Ugh. Elly?

Oh, shit. Sorry, that was from last year.

Sorry.

"How to Get Away With Being a Drug Addict."

Step one: Find a cover drug.

'Cause no matter how hard you try to hide it,

if you're doing drugs, you're gonna get caught.

It's inevitable, and when that does happen,

you don't wanna be on the defensive.

Trust me, no one believes an addict when they're caught.

So, first things first, you want to lay the groundwork.

- Heyo. This movie's nuts.

Which one is this?

-"Killer Baby"? I don't even know. - Ohh!

"Killer Mutant Baby."

Oh shit.

I think I'm gonna start smoking weed.

Why would you start smoking weed?

'Cause I have panic attacks every fucking day.

You are so fucking selfish.

Gia.

Gia!

Gia, it fuckin' helps with my...

fuckin' anxiety, and my panic attacks,

- and shit, Gia. I don't wanna talk to you, Rue.

- Can you just fuckin' listen for a second? I don't wanna talk to you!

- Gia! Gia, what the fuck?! Stop!

The fuck is wrong-- What the--

Are you fucking crazy?! Don't push me!

- What the fuck is wrong with you? - Get your hands off of me!

It's a fucking idea! I wasn't gonna fucking do it!

- You're a liar! - I'm a fuckin' liar?!

- I'm tryin' to fuckin' tell you something! - Yes, and you don't give a shit

about you, you don't give a shit about me.

- You don't give a shit about your mama. - It's a fucking idea!

I'm not actually doin' fuckin' weed!

It was an idea, okay?!

And I should've never fuckin' told you

'cause you're just like fucking Mom.

- Don't put-- - Both of you are

fucking crazy!

Now, what you wanna do is

make them second guess their intuition,

make them feel like any valid concern

is just their anxiety getting the best of them.

Step two: Gaslight.

Rue, when you do drugs...

it's not like when other people do drugs.

It's better than committing suicide.

When I'm sober, that's what I think about.

That's where I'm at, Gia.

Okay?

That's where I'm at.

Now, if you wanna tell Mom, you can tell her...

but I don't know what else I can fuckin' do.

Rue...

I love you...

so, please, just promise me,

it's just gonna be weed and nothing more.

I promise.

So, the next time you put Pop-Tarts in the fridge,

or milk in the cupboard... you have a motherfuckin' out.

Rue?

Are you high?

I mean.

I just smoked a little bit of weed.

- Wait, what? - Ow!

Please, you keep going. I'm just gonna sit here for a second.

So, I smoked a little bit of weed,

and forgot to mention someone that I met.

By the way, I think you would really get along with

once you're not mad at me for whatever...

you're fuckin' mad at me about.

I'm not gonna get along with him.

- Why? - 'Cause he wants to fuck you.

- You really think so? - Yes, I know so.

No. I promise you,

there is no way that he wants to fuck me.

No way.

Do you wanna fuck Rue?

- Not no. So, you're straight?

- Kinda. Are you gay?

- Kinda. - So, you're bi.

- Well, I don't think of it that way. - What do you mean?

You've never, like, thought about your sexuality before?

Not in a particularly rigid way, no.

Have you guys fucked? Is that a thing?

Elliot, I'm asking the fucking question.

- Why did she avoid that question? - Yeah, why did you

dodge the question?

How many girls have you fucked?

Like, technically, three.

- Technically? I mean, technically, the first girl,

it was, like, two seconds. It was embarrassing.

She probably wouldn't count it. She would not count it.

Okay, uh, how many guys have you fucked?

- 43. - Are you serious?

- Damn. - I'm kidding.

How many guys have you fucked?

She doesn't wanna answer that question

'cause she's kind of a whore.

Jules and Elliot: A whore?!

Slut. She's a slut. I was gonna say slut,

but then whore just kinda came out.

Wait, how many guys have you fucked?

You know, that is an excellent question, Jules.

- How many guys have you been with? - Uh-uh. No.

No, it's not an excellent question.

In fact, it's an irrelevant question 'cause

I'm no longer interested in men, so.

Well, how many men do you have to fuck

to no longer be interested in them?

Hmm. - Uh, I'll tell you if you promise to never tell Rue.

Are you for real right now?

Deal. - What the fuck?

Okay.

- Wow! Really?

That's fucked up. That's like a mentally ill amount of people to fuck.

- What did she say? No, that's, like...

- that's, like, bad. - Wait, do you really think so?

No... I'm kidding.

Who gives a shit? Everyone's a fuckin' nun.

- Nun? You're a nun.

- How am I a nun? You're a trans girl

wearing a binder asking me whether I'm straight or gay?

Well, I'm navigating a largely straight, binary world--

You sound like you're navigating a Twitter thread.

I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

But you know what I mean, like most people are straight.

And most trans girls don't wear binders, right?

Yeah, and, uh, most guys

don't hang out with two girls unless they wanna fuck them.

I didn't say that I didn't wanna fuck you or Rue.

So, you wanna fuck Jules?

You guys are disgusting.

I'm not out here swingin' my muff around waitin' to see who fucks it.

- Okay? - I don't like you.

- Why? 'Cause you're being sarcastic,

- and I don't like sarcastic people. Wait, aren't I sarcastic?

- No, no, you're the opposite. All right,

I'm being sarcastic because I'm uncomfortable,

and the questions are, like, fuckin' hypocritical, you know,

and I genuinely do like Rue.

And, you know, even though you've been gangbanged

by the entire galaxy, you're still fuckin'-- You're great.

Okay? And I want to be friends.

You think he's being sarcastic?

Unfortunately, no.

Come on! You're too fast!

You're just fucking slow. I don't know.

I don't play sports for a reason! - Come on!

Fuck.

♪ No, no ♪

Jules!

Fuck.

- Oh, you motherfucker.

- You know-- - You need to take care of that asthma.

- You know I'm not...

- good at that kind of stuff.

- Oh man. Let me catch my breath. - Oh, I'm sorry.

My breath.

Does that feel good? Yeah.

Okay.

The beautiful thing about getting high

is time ceases to exist.

I mean, you can just stay in the good moments

without the fear that they'll come to an end.

When's the last time you guys played truth or dare?

Vice Principal Garcia, hi. My name is Lexi Howard.

I know who you are, Lexi.

Right, sorry, that was weird, um.

Anyway, I'm writing this play,

and I was wondering if I could put it on...

After all that stuff with Cal at Fezco's convenience store,

Lexi realized there was a reason

she never tried to intervene before.

She was an observer.

That's who she was.

She often imagined that her parents weren't really her parents...

and that her sister wasn't her sister,

and that her house wasn't even really her house.

That it was just a movie...

I, I told you. I didn't promise you that.

...one that she was writing.

Let me just show you a photo of the prosthetic.

I don't really have time for that right now.

Can you get me some Nicorette?

Rue Bennett is 47 minutes late.

- We can't get ahold of her. - I'm gonna fucking kill her.

Lexi, I need to talk to you about this scene.

Thanks.

Suze isn't wearing her wedding ring.

Okay, that's a props question. - Okay.

I didn't bring it up.

Okay, it's like every, every single day. It's like you're OCD!

And cut it!

My name is Lexi Howard.

I am the writer, director, and creator

of "This Is Life."

While the story's about a 16-year-old g-- Bleh.

The story is about a 16-year-old girl,

Grace, who lives in the shadow of her older sister, Hallie.

Sluttier.

And tackier.

Sloppier.

But the story isn't about Hallie.

You know, that's been done before.

It's about Grace.

Here, come with me.

Look, the sidekicks are usually the more sensitive, smarter,

more compelling characters,

but for some reason, they just get overlooked.

- Action! And I was like,

TV show, the sidekick is the lead.

Cut! Are you fuckin' high?

Yeah, it's about love and friendship.

And about when...

you know, you're younger, everything just feels

so permanent.

But as you get older, everyone drifts away.

So, she just started writing,

and writing, and writing.

Why are you awake at 4 AM?

Why are you awake at 4 AM?

Cassie decided to wake up at 4 AM

that morning to get ready for school.

She needed to clear her head.

And for those three hours she spent getting ready...

she only thought about one thing.

There was also something refreshing about the amount

of time she was putting into herself.

Out of sight, out of mind.

She loved the ritual, the attention to detail...

the anxiety and excitement she felt in her stomach.

And even if Nate pretended not to notice her...

It was her way of telling him that she was his.

Hey.

Hey.

- Wait, why are-- why-- - Uh, my class is this way.

Anyway, back to where we started.

I'm writing this play,

and I was wondering if I could put it on.

Sure.

True or dare?

Dare.

Yo, Jules. I dare you to take a piss

in the middle of the street.

All right.

- Sure, yes!

Gender-fuck me, please!

Wow. Jules!

Wow. Okay, all right.

Oh, shit! Ohh.

Oh. Okay, Jules.

- Hey! Car.

- Oh... my god. No, no, no, no, no!

Not on the car. Not on the car. Not on the car.

Hey, look, I, uh, I noticed the way that you've been lookin' at me

you know, past couple days, and I...

I wanted you to know, I too, I'm into scat play,

and if you wanted to, like, poop on each other--

- What the fuck?!

- Oh shit, oh shit, oh!

Oh my god.

I'll fuckin' kill you, goddammit!

Fuck!

I really wanna go down on you.

We can't do it here.

Please?

If I were a genius,

I'd figure out a way to do drugs for free.

What if I am a genius?

- I'm a fuckin' genius, Fez. Is that so?

It is fuckin' so because

I came up with an amazing fuckin' plan.

And what would that be, Rue?

All right, so ...

all you would have to do is front me,

like, $5,000 worth of drugs, okay?

- And-- Hell the fuck no.

Okay, well, before you say no,

you kind of have to let me finish, right?

Hell the fuck no.

Okay, why do you keep saying that?

I did not like the way that the plan started.

Okay, well, you have to let me finish the fucking plan.

No. - Yes.

- You-- - Hell the fuck no, Rue.

Fuck it. I give up. Whatever.

I'll just take my fuckin' business elsewhere.

It's your fuckin' loss, man.

Hell the fuck no.

That's a good-ass plan.

Thank you. Fuckin' Fez didn't even wanna hear it.

- Why not? - Ego shit, man.

Yo, Lex, what're you doin'?

Oh, just putting up fliers for this play I'm doing.

What play?

The only thing is...

Lexi hadn't told anyone about the play...

including Cassie.

I'd actually love for you to read it.

Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, send it to me.

- Hey, Rue-Rue. - Hi, Cass.

Wait, are you in the play?

- What play? - Lexi's play.

What do you mean, Lexi's play?

Uh, the play that Lexi wrote.

"Oklahoma."

- What? - The play's called "Oklahoma"?

No, the drama club's doing "Oklahoma."

Oh my god. Do I look like I'm in "Oklahoma"?

Why would your play be set in Oklahoma?

You thought I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?

- I haven't read it, so. - Are you making fun of me,

or did you actually think I was auditioning for "Oklahoma"?

- Why the fuck would you audition for "Oklahoma"? I'm not!

Then why the fuck do you look like you're auditioning for "Oklahoma"?

- Do I? Yes.

Has everyone read "Oklahoma" but me?

"Oklahoma"'s not like a play you read.

- Rue, are you on drugs? - Yes.

- You relapsed? - Wait, what?!

Oh, I've just--

Nah, I've just been smokin' a little bit of weed.

Wait, I don't understand. If you're not auditioning for "Oklahoma,"

- then why do you look like that? - Like what?!

Like a country music star. - In a good way or a bad way?

- Bitch, you better be joking. - Are you okay, Cass?

No! Yes! Fuck it!

I am in love with Nate Jacobs and he is in love with me!

And don't you fucking give me that look, Maddy,

because I didn't fuck your boyfriend!

You two were broken up for three weeks and three days

before we even had sex, so I didn't betray you!

Plus, you guys are terrible for each other and you know I'm right

and you guys can all judge me if you want, but I do not care!

I have never, ever been happier!

But she didn't say that.

In fact, it was much weirder.

She just stared straight ahead like she's doing now

and didn't say a word.

I think being single's really stressing you out.

No, I don't think so.

I hate it.

- Really? - Yeah.

I think Nate really fucked me up.

- I said, "Messed me up."

- No, you didn't. - What do you mean?

I keep trying to figure out if I feel worse now

than I did when I was with Nate.

I mean, you were really unhappy.

Like, I remember how the good parts felt.

But when it was bad, was it really that bad?

Or am I just telling myself that because I'm lonely and bored?

No, you... you deserve someone who's passionate and loving.

Who yearns for you, and, and can't wait to see you,

who... who you're not gonna fight with,

and just who's gonna love you. Like... really, truly love you.

Yeah...

I don't know.

Do me a favor...

when you get older, don't be an asshole to girls you like.

Okay.

Maddy didn't realize that

Cassie was talking about herself...

...and her relationship with Nate.

♪ Emotions ♪

♪ What are you doin' ♪

♪ Oh, don't you know ♪

♪ Don't you know you'll be my ruin ♪

Who she had been fucking every Friday night

for the last three weeks.

I love that I'm your secret...

and I can't tell a soul.

I love how fuckin' sick you are.

What I wouldn't give to be back in high school.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Kat was having dinner with Ethan's parents.

So, who's my son with?

Oh, she's got the cutest smile, doesn't she?

- Yeah. - Adorable.

Mom, stop. - So, Katherine...

Tell me about yourself.

Uh,

Kat got nervous because she could feel that

there were right answers and wrong answers.

Who am I? Oof.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Um...

I mean, that's, like, a really big question.

Well, I guess, who am I is a very different question

than tell me about yourself, right?

Uh...

I mean, I'm, like, kinda trying to just... figure it out myself.

You know, like...

I mean, I guess I just, I...

literally, have no idea who I am.

Wow... Wasn't that illuminating.

Kat wanted to crawl into a hole and fucking die.

And so did Cal, who hadn't been able to sleep

since Nate told him about that disc.

You want a water?

And every time he'd close his eyes, he'd imagine...

Aaron, tell your dad dinner's ready!

Dad, dinner's ready!

But Cal wasn't raised that way.

He wouldn't go down without a fight.

Hi... I'm Rue. Um, good to see you, uh.

I would love to present you with a, a business opportunity.

Okay.

- You want some? - Oh, I'm okay. Thank you.

Uh, ever since I, I, I met you at New Year's,

I was, I was thinking, um, that...

maybe, you--

um...

um...

uh... I'm in high school, right?

Uh, and I have a GPA of 3.95,

and let's say, you know, all my friends Jamie, Amy, and Lanie

also have a GPA over 3.7.

Hmm. And, and, Laurie, these are, these are girls

that you would never expect in a million years to be selling.

Hmm.

Look, I'm a dreamer, you know, and, and Steve Jobs is my hero.

And I was just thinking, you know, what if there was a foolproof system to sell...

you know, without anyone snitching.

- Hmm. So, let's say...

hypothetically, of course, uh,

we were able to pay Jamie, Amy, and Lanie

$500 a month to be runners.

Now as collateral, we would upload

- their phones to a cloud that I own.

- Why would you want that? - Ah, that's a good question, Laurie.

May I?

Uh, well, you see...

even though Jamie, Amy, and Lanie have stellar GPAs,

there's also things on their phones

that they don't want the world to know about

because it would probably jeopardize

their ability to get into Yale, Columbia, Harvard,

my top choices, uh.

Plus, uh, if they ever got busted,

we're lookin' at 6 to 12 months in juvie.

Intent to sell is a way bigger sentence.

Not if you're under 18.

- Hmm. - Which is nothing to having

your entire life released and ruined on the internet,

so their incentive to snitch is basically reduced to zero.

This is an amazing plan.

You're a genius.

- Thank you. It's true.

I'll front you a 50k suitcase.

Don't do it. You're too much of a fuck-up.

- Maybe we should start smaller. - 10k?

Deal.

That was very mature, Rue.

If you pay each girl a thousand,

you can flip it for 20, and that's 7k profit.

- Three to me. Four to you. - Uh, thank you, Laurie. You won't regret this.

You pay-up and re-up in a month. - Uh, terrific.

Rue, if you screw me,

I'll have you kidnapped and sold to some real sick people.

I always find a way to make my money back.

I'm serious.

Okay.

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

What the fuck you doin'?

Lexi knew she couldn't mount a play all on her own,

so she enlisted the help of Bobbi

as her stage manager and partner in crime.

They didn't know each other well,

except that they shared a mutual disdain for "Oklahoma."

- Bobbi, you okay? - Fuck "Oklahoma."

Are they all here to audition?

Are you all here to audition?

Yes.

They're all here to audition.

Right, yeah, that's, that's what I thought.

Put yourselves into a single-file line.

We'll be with you momentarily.

So first, you come to my fuckin' job

askin' all these weird-ass questions like the feds.

Then I find you out in front of my house.

What the fuck are you doin', man?

You're free to call the cops.

Why the fuck would I do that?

Well, it's either call the cops, let me go or... kill me.

What the fuck, man? What's with your family?

Are you all just a bunch of fuckin' assholes?

You beat up my son. - Yeah, well, he deserved it, man.

He's a fuckin' bitch.

Oh, okay, tough guy.

Ow, fuck!

Why did you do that?

'Cause you're in no position to talk shit.

I'm warning you. You hit me one more--

- Oh, fuck! - Why don't you call the cops?

- The Chief of Police, Will Greenwood-- - Mm-hm.

- All right, Ash. Chill out, man.

Fuck! - This guy don't want the fuckin' cops involved.

Watch.

- Call the cops. - I will.

- Dial, bitch.

If you got nothin' to hide, call the fuckin' cops.

- Stop, stop, stop. - I'm not fucking stopping.

I'm not stopping. Call the cops.

- I told you. - All right, man. I get it.

I know you and your drug addict friend,

that girl.

You're trying to extort my son.

- What? - Because of what I did to her friend.

What the fuck are you talkin' about, man?

- You know, the blonde. - Who? Jewel?

Look, man, I didn't know she was 17.

You tellin' me you had sex with Jewel?

Who's Jewel?

What the fuck, man? Do I know Jewel?

The fuck are we even talkin' about right now, bro?

Jewel.

Jewel. Jewel...

I just want the disc.

What disc?! - Of Jewel and I.

Yo, you recorded that shit?!

I didn't know. - You didn't know that you were recording?

- I fucked up. Obviously, man.

Yo, who the fuck even told you I gave a shit about this anyway?

My son.

Your son? The one that's in love with Jewel?

Aw, that's cute.

That's not cute, man. What the fuck?

- What? What kind of weird-ass

father-son shit is goin' on around here, bro?

- I'm extremely confused. You're confused.

I'm fuckin' confused, bro.

- Me too. I don't even know what the fuck you're doin' here.

Do you mind if I just leave?

I'm not gonna say a word about anything, I swear to God.

Let's just pretend like... none of this ever happened.

Yo, Ash, let me talk to you real quick.

Hi... what's your name?

Cal.

Do you and your son, like--

Do you, like, fuck people together?

Yo, check it out, man.

I'mma let you walk up outta here on one condition.

Anything.

You'll keep your bitch-ass son out of my fuckin' life,

and Rue's and Jewel's,

till the end of fucking time. You understand?

I promise.

Now, I don't know shit about no fuckin' disc, man. That's not my problem.

Now get this motherfucker up outta here, Ash.

Why can't I shake the feeling that there's, like,

something you're not telling me.

I don't know.

Like, why don't I trust you?

Is it the face tats?

No, (chuckles)... No, it's not the face tats.

Okay, what is it?

These are the kind of things... that can cause you to relapse.

This is not easy, but I'm very proud

of each and every one of you for trying to take this on.

Work this program. It will work if you work it.

Do you have a crush on Rue?

I do.

I was a little bit ashamed of myself

that I didn't wanna be around other people

with this awful, awful habit.

Because it's no future in addiction.

I don't care what they tell you.

Addiction will take you out.

I feel like Rue doesn't want to fuck me.

Why don't you think so?

She seems like...

gay... or asexual, you know?

Like she's not really interested... in sex.

That's not true.

Really?

No, that's not true at all.

You think Rue's, like, a sexual person?

I mean, at times, yeah.

Yeah, you're full of shit.

It's true!

I feel like you've fucked way too many people

to look me in the face,

and lie to me and say she's some

sexual force of nature.

Fine. No, she's not, like, the most sexual person ever.

Then how does that work?

- What do you mean? - 'Cause you're, like, a sexual person?

Not all the time, but sometimes.

Fine... No, okay, she's not a sexual person.

Or, like, maybe, she is a bit.

I just haven't seen that side yet.

I wouldn't blame yourself.

- I'm not. - I'm just saying it's, like,

easy to take that kind of stuff personally.

Are you, like, trying to be an asshole right now?

- I'm being sweet right now. How is that sweet?

'Cause you're very fuckin' fuckable.

- Why? I mean, you're fascinating, right?

'Cause you're creative and you're smart,

and you're kind of fucked up.

But you're cute, and you're awkward, and you're like...

kind of clumsy but you're very much a whore,

intentionally, which is great.

You know, you're like extroverted and weird,

but also introverted and shy...

and your art is amazing.

They should hang it up at fuckin' MoMA.

But on like a more superficial note,

you have great tits.

And you and Kurt Cobain have the same haircut...

which is hot.

Give me that.

But I'm sure Rue told you all that.

You guys are in love, right?

Shut up.

So, Rue, the $64,000 question is...

what's in the suitcase?

- School books. - Ah, is that why you're in that getup?

You became an honors student.

- I'm not in the mood for a lecture. - Lecture?

- I... like to think we have conversations. Yeah, I'm sure you do.

Okay, what? Did a hornet crawl up your ass or somethin'?

- What's wrong with you? - Look, I'm-- Man,

I'm not tryin' to hear a fuckin' lecture, okay,

about how my life would be better if I stopped doing drugs,

or believed in God, or Allah, or whatever the fuck.

Okay, well, you're the one lookin' like a Jehovah's Witness.

I just don't think that there's, uh, Bibles in that suitcase.

- Shut the fuck up, man. - Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me?

Shut the fuck up?

Don't play that shit with me.

I've always accepted you for who you are:

the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Don't tell me to shut the fuck up. I'm not some parent

you can just treat like shit.

Yeah, well, good thing nobody's really

lookin' to you to be a fuckin' parent.

Yo! Excuse me?

Excuse me?

When I sit across from you and tell you somethin' about my life,

you don't get to use that shit against me.

You cross that line again, we're done.

You talk back right now, we're done.

One more fuckin' disrespectful word outta your mouth,

and we're done. You hear me?

Hey! You hear me?!

Or what, Ali?

You gonna hit me?

♪ If they made me a queen ♪

♪ I'd be but a slave to you ♪

And before he even took a drink, he offered it to me first.

♪ If I had everything ♪

♪ I'd still be a slave to you ♪

♪ If I ruled the night ♪

Where are you headed?

To meet a friend.

I know, Mom. I know.

♪ Still I'd turn ♪

Are those my clothes?

Yeah. I was auditioning for Lexi's play.

- What play? -"Oklahoma."

♪ If the world to me bowed yet humbly I'd plead to you ♪

Yeah... Oh, she's doin' really good.

Yeah, I'm proud of her.

♪ If I ruled the Earth ♪

♪ What would life be worth ♪

♪ If I hadn't the right to you ♪

Ready to go to bed? Mm-hm.

Okay. Good night, little man.

Sweet dreams.

- Ethan I got the part! - What part?

In Lexi's play.

Cool.

♪ If the world to me bowed ♪

♪ Yet humbly I'd plead to you ♪

♪ If my friends were a crowd ♪

♪ I'd turn in my need to you ♪

- ♪ If I ruled the Earth ♪

♪ What would life be worth ♪

♪ If I hadn't the right ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ Breaking up with me then making up ♪

♪ Just to make me mad ♪

♪ I think that you taste like rock candy ♪

♪ Sweet like beaches leave me all sandy ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Do you leave me with watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Young love don't always last forever ♪

♪ Wild horses can't keep us together ♪

♪ So what if you taste just like heaven ♪

♪ That don't make it right ♪

♪ Hot summer and cold watermelon ♪

♪ Your love stings like blood and a lemon ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Do you leave me with watercolor eyes ♪

♪ Watercolor eyes ♪

♪ That don't make it right ♪

♪ That don't make it right ♪