Original subtitles

[lively. quirky music]

[alarm blaring]

- Wake up, GUS.

It's 6:30. Wake up.

- Hmm.

- I know how to get you up.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. [moaning]

- Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

[whispering]

- Hey, Brenda, what are you doing?

- What do you think I'm doing?

Brushing my teeth?

- Ah, very funny.

Very funny.

Goddamn waterbeds.

You and your hippie ideas.

- Oh, Gus, come on back to bed.

-L've got a heavy schedule today.

I can't be messing around like this.

Now, knock it off, will you?

- Sure, Gus, sure.

Who's Susan, anyway?

- Hey, listen, Brenda,

it ain't right doing it in the morning.

- Why?

Why? I don't know why.

Because it ain't healthy, that's why.

- Well, how about some action tonight?

- Hey, look, Lamb Chops, you know I'm beat after a full day's work.

- Well, if we can't get it on in the morning,

and we can't get it on at night, how about this afternoon?

- Oh, you want me to stay off the job and lose

all that good money, huh?

What are you, stupid?

You want me to be independent, don't you?

But how the hell could I be independent ifl don't work for it?

See, that's the way we do it in America, not like where you come from.

- I come from Kalamazoo.

- Yeah, that's what I mean.

- Who is this Susan, anyway?

- What are you talking about?

- Never mind.

[pleasant, upbeat music]

- Excuse me.

You know, Gus,

things used to be a lot different when you had a regularjob.

- What do you mean, different? - You know,

different.

I mean, you were a lot different.

We used to have fun together.

- Yeah. Yeah, we did, didn't we?

Brenda, baby,

things are going to change.

As soon as I get the trucking service set up,

things are going to get better,

I promise you.

- I hope so.

- Oh, shit, I'm late. - Oh, Gus.

- I got to run.

- What about lunch? -l'll eat it on the way.

- Oh, Beth.

- Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

- You know goddamn well what I mean.

Don't tell me you can get crabs from a toilet seat.

- Ah, knock it off. I'll see you later.

- When?

- Maybe you don't hear me very well.

I said later.

- And who's Susan?

[door slamming]

[pleasant, upbeat music]

- Crap. Shit. Hell. Fuck.

- Mark and Ward Sausages, Ma --

- If you want more sausages for your dollar,

the only kind to use is pork sausages.

The only sausages that satisfy your hungry appetite,

so remember --

- Mark and Ward Sausages.

Ma --

[upbeat music]

[moaning]

[moody music]

[moaning]

- Oh, Shit.

[funky, moody music]

- Twelve, okay.

[knocking at door]

- Just a minute.

- Hi, I'm Gus.

- Gus? - Yeah, Gus.

Gus's Trucking Service.

- Oh. Oh.

Come on in.

Come on in.

- These are the boxes? - Yeah, they're pretty heavy.

You got anyone to help you?

- Nah, I don't need nobody.

I can handle any heavy load.

-L'm sure you can. - Hey, what kind of place is this?

-It's a photographer's studio. -ls that right?

What are you, the photographer, or the model?

- The photographer.

This is my place.

- You got to be kidding.

A lady photographer?

Hey, what's in these boxes?

- Photo supplies.

She'll be delivering them to a girlfriend of mine.

- Oh, yeah. She's the one on the list, right?

- Yeah.

- What kind of pictures do you take, anyway?

Dirty ones? - Sometimes.

- Yeah, you got to be kidding.

No, I mean the real dirty ones.

- Oh. [chuckles]

Just some studies of nudes.

You know, art.

Flaughsl

- Yeah,

that's dirty enough.

You got any around?

- Sure.

- Did you really take these?

- Sure, yeah.

- Boy, that's something, lady.

- The name is Lillian.

Have you ever modeled before?

- What, for these?

What do you take me for, some kind of pervert?

I don't go in for that kind of shit.

How much does it pay? - Well,

an experienced model can make up to $50 or more an hour.

- Fifty bucks?

You mean, a model gets 50 bucks for standing around in his birthday suit?

Flaughsl

There's more to just standing around.

You have to have more than just good looks and a good body.

- What about me?

- Well, your looks are okay,

but how is your body? - Well, I ain't never got

no complaints in that department,

if you know what I mean.

[chuckling]

Well, I'm sure I don't, but that's the point, anyway.

There's more to modeling.

You have to know how to move around, to pose,

to give the camera what it really wants.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

- You want to try?

- Modeling? Nah. I got to get going, anyway.

- Well, if you don't want to...

But you know, you'll never really know if you're any good or not

if you don't at least give it a try.

- Well, now, you wouldn't tell nobody? I mean, if I decided to try it?

- Oh, Scout's honor.

- Well, all right, but I don't got much time.

_Qkay.

Put your clothes over there, and I'll set up the camera and lights.

- Put my clothes over there.

Okay, I'm ready.

- No.

You're going to have to take those off, too.

- Hey, lady, I've never been naked in front of any woman

with her clothes on before.

- Hmm, you'll get used to it.

- Is this okay?

- Oh, the socks too, please.

- Hey, come on. I get cold feet.

[upbeat, dramatic music]

- Let's move.

Relax. Relax.

Got you.

Let's move.

Relax.

Relax.

You're macho.

Dynamite.

Getting better, Gus.

Come on. Give me some.

Give me some.

Come on. Squeeze up those muscles.

You're macho.

Yes. That's it.

Come on.

You got stiff, Gus.

Come on. Loosen up.

You're doing good, Gus.

You're natural, natural.

Let's move it, Gus.

[upbeat orchestral music]

- How am I doing?

- Dynamite.

- Big smile now, Gus.

- Okay. Come on, Gus.

Something different.

- Am I getting better? - Great.

You're doing good, Gus.

You're natural.

Got you.

Getting better, Gus.

You got stiff, Gus. Come on.

Loosen up.

Relax.

- Dynamite.

- That's it. That's it.

- That's beautiful. Such potential.

Ooh.

Can you get it up?

- You mean this?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Can you get it up? - I don't know.

You want to take a picture of this?

- Mm-hmm.

Sure, if you can get it up.

- I don't know. I usually have somebody to help me.

- Oh, well, I think that can be arranged.

- I don't believe this.

[moaning]

[moody orchestral music]

[moaning]

[serene orchestral music]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[dramatic orchestral music]

[moaning]

[moaning]

- Hey, lady, it sure was a lot of fun.

Listen,

any time you need a $50 model,

you know where to call. -l'll do just that.

Flaughsl

[dialing rotary phone]

- Hi, March?

Yeah, he's on his way with the stuff.

Yeah. Haughs]

Yeah, wait 'til you see him.

Dyno-mite.

[lively bluegrass music]

- Hi. Thanks a lot. - Sure.

- Hi. Where are you headed? - Summerdale.

- Shit.

- Hey, young ladies, none of that fucking swearing in my truck.

- Where the hell are we? - I don't know.

- Hey, little girls. I don't like swearing from girls.

- You swear.

- Sure. It's all right for a man to swear.

- Why? _IIWhy? II

Because a man has to swear, that's why.

Hey, where are you two going?

- Pine Haven. - Yeah, can you give us a lift?

- Sorry.

I'd like to help you out, but I'm on my way to Summerdale.

Isn't it kind of dangerous for you two girls

to be hitchhiking? _Ah __

- I mean, with all them sex maniacs and rapists out on the road.

- We can handle ourselves. - How's that?

- Shit.

Oops. I'm sorry.

Fudge.

If a guy wants it, we'll just give it to him.

What's the big deal? - Yeah, what's the big deal, anyway?

- Oh, I see.

Hey, where did you just say you were going?

- Pine Haven.

- Pine Haven, huh?

I sure wish I could help you out, but I got this job to do in Summerdale.

You got to realize, it cost a lost of money to run this truck.

- Well, we haven't got any money,

but maybe we can make it worth your while.

- Hey, none of that shit in my truck.

What do you think I am?

Some kind of chickenshit salesman?

I don't know what happened to the good old USA.

Kids today think they can try to feel for a ride.

Well, let me tell you something, little chickees.

I don't go for that kind of crap.

Where to?

[upbeat, frenetic music]

- The greatest show on Earth, right over here.

Step right over here, quickly, before the show ends.

You won't believe the sensations we have right

here in this little tent, little girl.

[moody carnival music]

- Get your hotdogs now.

Hotdogs, hotdogs.

Get it while --

[lively carnival music]

- Don't miss the flying [indistinct] and they're flying tonight.

Featuring [indistinct] and his great trapeze artists.

[moaning] - Hotdogs.

Hotdogs.

Get them while we got them.

[lively carnival music] [moaning]

- See the greatest hotrods on the Earth.

In the center ring, the hotrod [indistinct].

[moaning] - Get it, get it while it's hot.

- Don't miss the great clown acts of the century, featuring [indistinct].

[moaning]

[lively carnival music]

- Don't miss it. It's about to come right to you.

The greatest show on Earth is now playing, right here and right now.

Remember, the early bird gets the worm.

[moaning]

[moaning]

[lively carnival music]

- In our three arenas, [indistinct] action tonight.

[moaning]

-[indistinct] It was too hot in Gay Paris, too hot in Rome,

too hot in London.

Now, for the first time, you will see it before your own eyes.

[moaning]

[lively carnival music]

[moaning]

- That's all, folks.

[lively bluegrass music]

- Hey, Phyllis, how about some cream for my coffee?

- Yeah, yeah, wait a minute.

Where do you want it? - In my cup.

How about from one of those creamers?

I like my cream fresh.

- The only thing fresh around here is you.

- Oh, Phyllis, when are you going to spread a little joy around here?

- What's the story? Don't your wife take care of you?

- Sure she does. She's a nymphomaniac.

Insists on sex once a month, whether she's in the mood or not.

- Ho-ha-ha.

- Hey, Phyllis, you want a hot tip?

- Yeah. - Rub it.

- Fuck off.

Well, knock me over and call me dead, if it ain't the [indistinct] of the highway.

Hi, Gus. - Hi, Phyllis.

- Where have you been?

- Ah, busy as shit.

I ain't had a load up this way in a long time.

- Neither have I.

Well, you have.

How about a cup of coffee for now?

- Sure. - Hey, make that two, sweetheart.

Hey, Jerry, how's your tailgate swinging?

- Booga-booga-booga.

What are you carrying today? - You are not going to believe this.

I have a load full of bras, size 44B.

- Hey, no kidding. Why don't you be a friend?

Let me jump in the back and smother myself to death.

- What a way to go, right?

- That's the closest you'll ever get to a pair of boobs.

- Boy, what are you carrying?

- Photo supplies.

My rig is full of that shit.

- Where are you going? Around the block?

- L'm going cross country.

- Hell, I don't make those long runs anymore.

Hard on the ass. - Yeah,

it's rough sitting in that cab.

Sure, it can tear your asshole apart.

- Boy, what the hell are you driving?

- Oh, me? I'm driving a --

- A panel truck. I saw you come in.

Hey, Jerry, his rig is a panel truck.

- What are you driving?

- A two-ton Mack.

Jesus Christ, this place is going downhill.

They're starting to serve chickenshits around here.

- Who are you calling a chickenshit?

- You.

You chickenshit, panel truck faggot.

- Guys, knock it off.

- If you think you're man enough,

let's step outside.

- Hey, Gus, I wouldn't. - It would be my pleasure.

- Gus. Gus.

Samantha.

- Karate expert.

Gus. Gus, you all right?

You all right?

- Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

What hit me? - Eafl.

I tried to warn you.

He's a karate expert. - Yeah, that figures.

He can't fight like an American,

so he has to fight like some yellow commie.

- Yeah.

You all right?

- Yeah.

I think so.

- I think you're all right.

Come on. I've got a 15 minute break.

- Fifteen minutes? Where?

- Yeah. Yeah, come on.

Come on.

- You mean here?

- Yeah. What do you expect, a Waldorf Astoria?

I've only got 15 minutes.

Flaughsl

Ooh.

[lively bluegrass music]

- Come on. Let's hurry, before my boss catches me.

- All right. Sit down.

I've got the blue-plate special.

Flaughsl

Ooh.

[moaning]

[moaning] Ooh.

[moaning]

- Hey, what's keeping you in there? - Hold your horses.

[lively bluegrass music]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[Customer 2 knocking at the door]

- Hey, what, did you drown in there?

- Qh, plug up, will you?

[lively bluegrass music]

- Mm.

[Customer 3 knocking at the door] - Come on. Move it.

- I have to piss so bad, my teeth are floating.

- Come on.

[upbeat bluegrass music]

- Come on. Jesus.

- Hold your horses.

-"Hold your --" Come on out here and hold this.

[moaning]

- God damn it.

[moaning]

- Move it. Come on.

- Hang on, Ray. Hang on.

- Hang on?

That's what we've been doing for two hours.

- Hold me on.

[moaning]

- Damn it.

[knocking at the door]

- Hold your horses.

[upbeat bluegrass music]

[moaning]

- Goddamn.

- Man, I got to go.

- I wonder what the hell they're doing in there.

- Ooh. Oh, Gus, you're so fabulous.

Ah.

[moaning]

- You're the best trucker around.

[knocking at door]

- Oh, hold your horses.

Tired of them knocks.

[moaning] [upbeat bluegrass music]

- Oh, God.

[moaning]

- Oh, God.

[moaning]

- Gus. Gus, come on, we've got to go. -[moaning]

- All those people, they're standing up there long.

[moaning] - I'll lose my job.

- Come on. [moaning]

- Come on. You want to come back here again?

- Uh-huh. - Do you, huh?

[moaning] "Do you?

[moaning] - Come on.

[music]

- Jesus, about time.

[lively bluegrass music]

- What seems to be the trouble?

-L'm flat.

- Ah. - That is to say, my tire is flat,

and I'm in need of your masculine assistance.

- Well, I think I can help you out.

- Good.

Here's the keys to the trunk.

- Well, you certainly seem to know your business.

- Oh, yeah, got to know all the tricks.

It's my business.

- Tell me, do you always treat things

that rough?

- It depends on what I'm handling.

- Well, let's say your wife.

- Who said I had a wife?

- Well --

- Well,

my wife, she doesn't go in for the rough stuff.

- It figures.

[metal clanging]

- What about you? - What about me?

- Do you go in for the rough stuff?

_Hey,

that sounds like a proposition.

Is it?

- Depends. - Depends on what?

- On whether it's your place, or mine.

- How about your place?

_Qkay.

- Oh, what a beautiful hit.

Coming in is Ed Simonetti

and he just nearly tore Marty Aiken's head off.

Oh, I'm amazed that he quickly held onto the ball.

[footsteps pattering]

- Hey, what did you say your name was?

- Faith.

Like in an act of faith.

- I don't go for that sacrilegious shit.

- Oh, I forgot. You're a meat and potatoes man.

- Hey, I don't get that.

- Well, we'll just --

Forget about it, okay?

- Yeah, sure.

Hey, you alone?

- No, you're not alone.

- Hey, I ain't got any money. - We don't want your money.

- Boy, you're some operator.

- Come on, Faith. Let's tie him up.

- Oh, God, if you don't want my money, what do you want?

- Come on, Gus, just play our little game, will you?

We won't hurt you.

- What the hell is that supposed to mean?

- It means we'll hurt you if you don't cooperate.

- Come on, Gus.

Be a good boy, huh?

Sit down in the chair.

- What are you going to do to me?

- You'll see.

- Oh, it's been a long time, baby.

- Yeah. -lsn't this against the law?

[shushing]

- Who should I be tonight?

Cleopatra, or Mata Hari?

- I don't care.

- I think I'll double push.

- Who are you going to be?

Are you ready? - Yes.

- Get the lights.

[triumphant orchestral music]

- Enter.

[moody orchestral music]

- Your Majesty.

- That's not the proper protocol, Lieutenant.

-L'm sorry, Your Majesty.

Hail.

Hail grand Tsarina of all Russia.

Hail Catherine the Great.

- You may rise, Lieutenant.

- Now, Lieutenant,

you have been brought before me because of your insolence to the crown.

It's that matter of my horses.

You see, I don't like them tired out before they're brought to me.

Now,

before you're executed,

do you have anything to say for yourself?

- Have mercy on me, Your Highness.

I am nothing but a humble servant to thee.

- How humble, Lieutenant?

- I will do anything to save face for my beloved Russia.

- Anything, Lieutenant?

- Yes.

Anything-

[music]

- Kiss my boot.

[moody music]

- Lick it, Lieutenant.

- Yes.

Now, you slimy plebeian, if you want to live,

eat me.

- I said, eat me.

[moody music]

- Hey, Faith, watch it.

- Oh, well, it was your idea.

I wanted to be Anne Boleyn tonight.

You wanted me to be Catherine the Great.

- All right, just take it easy.

You think he's enjoying it?

[music]

- Come on.

Eat me, you fool.

[moaning]

Now, kiss my breasts.

Suck on my ruby nipples.

Harder.

Oh, that's it.

Now, eat me again.

[moaning]

Put your hot tongue into my woman's grotto of passion.

Eat me, or you die. [moaning]

Oh.

Now, Lieutenant, kiss my boot again.

Run your tongue along.

Oh, that's it.

Taste the leather, Lieutenant.

- Now, Lieutenant, take my boot off and adore my feet.

Pay homage to my toes. [moaning]

Oh, put your tongue all around.

That's it. That's it.

[moaning]

Oh, let me feel your warm, hot mouth on my feet.

That's it.

That's it. Lick them some more. [moaning]

Now, Lieutenant, take off my other boot.

I want both feet free.

[moaning] Now, I want you to kiss my ass, caress my white,

smooth buttocks.

[moody music]

- That's it.

Oh, I want you to adore my entire body, every...

every silken inch of it.

[moaning]

- Oh, your mouth is so hot and warm.

[moaning]

Oh, that's it.

Eat me. Eat me for Russia.

[moody music]

[moaning]

Oh, I want to feel you inside me.[moaning]

That's it.

Now, eat my honey bush. [moaning]

Oh, eat me harder.

That's it. [moaning]

[moaning]

I want to feel you inside me. [moaning]

Oh, lwant to feel your hard cock inside me.

[moaning] Now, Lieutenant, fuck me.

Fuck me with your big, strong cock.

[moaning]

Shove your cock inside me. [moaning]

Oh, fuck me hard.

Oh, I want to feel it tearing apart.

Oh, God, that's it.

That's it.

Oh, God, it's so good.

[moaning]

- Oh my God. Oh, don't ever stop.

Oh, fuck me.

Plunge it all the way inside.

[moaning]

- Oh, that's it.

Come on, Lieutenant.

Oh, give me some of that hot Russian juice.

[moaning]

[knocking on door]

- Who is it?

- Gus from Gus's Trucking Service.

Got delivery for you.

- Oh, it's you.

Well, it's about time.

I'm Marge.

[lively, zany music]

- You're pissed off, huh?

- What makes you think that?

- Come on, baby.

I know when you're pissed off.

What makes you think that?

Come on, baby, give old Gus a smile.

All right, you got every right to be mad.

What's the difference?

I'm home now.

Hey, baby, look at me.

I got something for you.

- What?

- Why don't you open it and find out?

- You think you can just buy me a gift and everything is going to be all right?

- Oh, but it's notjust a gift.

Come on, baby, open it.

- Oh, Gus, for me? - Yeah.

Compliment to Gus's Trucking Service.

- Oh, Gus. Haughs]

[upbeat music]