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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,197 - Ow, ow, ow! Fuck! 2 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,470 Oh, fuck! God damn it! 3 00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:12,406 Why is that so hot? 4 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,110 - It's okay. Just, uh... 5 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:59,312 Thanks, I'm just looking for, uh, looking for an affidavit. 6 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,582 You may have noticed in the news, 7 00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:05,218 I am part of a pretty rough divorce, and it is, uh... 8 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,589 It's a real motherfucker, so uh, I am not- 9 00:03:08,723 --> 00:03:10,457 - Going live in 10. - Fuck. 10 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,459 We gotta get going, so... 11 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,928 By the way, she's, uh, she's a witch. 12 00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:16,196 I don't know if you believe in witches, 13 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,965 but I think she's got a cauldron and everything. 14 00:03:18,099 --> 00:03:20,300 Welcome, questioners, truth seekers, 15 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:23,403 and good ol' fashioned angry Americans. 16 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:24,972 Welcome to "The Rant"! 17 00:03:25,106 --> 00:03:28,843 I'm James Bunratty, and this is "Bunratty's Rants". 18 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,679 Now, I don't need to tell you folks 19 00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:34,849 what's wrong with the broken scientific establishment. 20 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,283 Of course, the people that bought it, 21 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,350 I'm sure they think it's working great, 22 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,286 but it is not for us. 23 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,055 It is not for real Americans. 24 00:03:41,189 --> 00:03:43,124 That's why I think you're gonna love today's guest. 25 00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,593 He is an alternative science guy. 26 00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,795 He knows how to think outside the paradigm. 27 00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:50,765 He has witnessed the corruption firsthand, 28 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,735 and I think that you are going to be shocked today, 29 00:03:53,868 --> 00:03:54,802 truth seekers, that's right. 30 00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,838 Well, anyway, what I'm saying is 31 00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,940 what you're going to probably say is pretty shocking 32 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,308 to a lot of people that don't listen to the show. 33 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,845 And to those newbies, I just wanna say, 34 00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:05,445 welcome to "The Rant". 35 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,120 Let's get right into it. 36 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,156 Dr. Tim Travers, I am fascinated by your work. 37 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:20,027 Tell us exactly what the Time Travelers Paradox is. 38 00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:24,599 Dr. Travers? 39 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,836 - Oh, right. - Welcome to the show. 40 00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:31,404 - A few corrections there. Uh, one, I'm not a doctor. 41 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,508 And two, while I'm not mainstream, 42 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,810 I am definitely not an "alternative" scientist. 43 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,178 - The difference being? 44 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,013 - One is for bored housewives with crystals 45 00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:40,280 and closet racists. 46 00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:45,820 - Oh, we got a show today! Do we not, out there? 47 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,889 That's right. Yeah, we can have some fun here. 48 00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:49,289 That was a good one. 49 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,325 But my audience knows who the man of truth is. 50 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,594 And who is that? 51 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,132 - Bunratty, Bunratty! 52 00:04:58,266 --> 00:04:59,133 - James Bunratty. 53 00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:00,835 Now, besides, fast talker, 54 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,637 how would you know the difference? 55 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,371 You just said yourself that you weren't a real doctor. 56 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,707 - I was kicked out of school for behavioral reasons, 57 00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:08,176 but my grades were excellent. 58 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,545 - Yeah. Establishment elites, am I right? 59 00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,247 I mean, who decided that they were the purveyors of truth? 60 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,615 - Education? 61 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,349 Peer review? Uh... 62 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,519 Hygiene? 63 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,522 - Okay. 64 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,126 You're arguing that time travel is possible, 65 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,695 which is, even for this show, quite out there. 66 00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:30,531 So, why don't you just, uh, hold your roll, pal? 67 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:34,001 - Well, I am sitting in a radio station in the year 2026, 68 00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:35,803 so I think that it might be possible. 69 00:05:35,937 --> 00:05:37,404 Is that, is that a reel-to-reel? 70 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,973 - Yes! 71 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,876 That's a reel-to-reel given to me by Carl Sagan's assistant! 72 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,311 I married her too, all right? 73 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,313 Yeah, so I didn't invite you on this show 74 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,480 to insult my audience, or me, or my team. 75 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,884 - No, you invited me because Mothman was busy 76 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,219 and I was bored. 77 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:55,289 - The Time Travelers Paradox. 78 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,924 Tell us about it. 79 00:05:57,058 --> 00:05:58,092 - Hm. 80 00:05:58,226 --> 00:06:00,161 It's a thought experiment. 81 00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:02,129 How much do you need me to dumb this down? 82 00:06:02,263 --> 00:06:03,396 - Just a little bit. 83 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,765 - Agree to disagree. 84 00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:07,501 First, a scientist makes a time machine. 85 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,305 That loops back exactly one minute into the past. 86 00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,807 - Oh, is that all? 87 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,509 - Then the scientist kills his younger self. 88 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,878 - As he does. 89 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,960 - Oh! 90 00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:34,896 Yeah! 91 00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:54,248 Now you have a man who should not and cannot exist. 92 00:06:54,382 --> 00:06:56,684 Yet, somehow does. 93 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,193 That is the paradox. 94 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,863 Paradoxes are impossible. 95 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,298 - Man, you are very smart, 96 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,667 but I would hate to go to dinner with you. 97 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,770 If you're just joining us, we have not-doctor Tim Travers. 98 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,204 And while you're at it, 99 00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:19,941 pick up some of Bunratty's Blast Vitamins. 100 00:07:20,074 --> 00:07:22,843 And while we're there, we have our own version of HGH. 101 00:07:22,977 --> 00:07:25,146 It's not the dangerous kind that Sylvester Stallone uses. 102 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:28,382 No, it is Bunratty's HGA. 103 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:29,717 That's right, HGA. We'll be right back. 104 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:30,851 Great job, man. 105 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,861 - Well, shit. 106 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,643 Um... 107 00:07:57,445 --> 00:07:59,380 Observation one. Uh... 108 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,182 Light, or at least the perception of light, 109 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,018 can only move one way through the machine. 110 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,054 I can see into the past, but can't see into the future. 111 00:08:07,188 --> 00:08:10,624 That makes sense, intuitively. Um... 112 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:11,959 Observation two. 113 00:08:12,093 --> 00:08:13,060 The fuck! 114 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,701 I have, um, murdered my younger self, 115 00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:23,137 and, and causality appears to be unaffected, 116 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:28,175 like, like completely unaffected, which makes no sense. 117 00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:30,878 I refer you to my aforementioned, "The fuck!" 118 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:37,718 Theory one. Um... 119 00:08:37,852 --> 00:08:41,055 Time travel has, has not taken place at all. 120 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,857 Instead, I have been 121 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:47,762 transported to a identical universe. 122 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,166 Problematic theory. Um... 123 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:55,236 Since that the machine might work as a fancy teleporter, 124 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,904 sending me to a, by wild coincidence, 125 00:08:57,038 --> 00:08:58,739 place that just so happens to be indistinguishable 126 00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:02,243 from my own past, seems unlikely. 127 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:06,947 Hmm. 128 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,651 Theory two. 129 00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:16,023 I have time traveled in the conventional sense. 130 00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:20,694 Please excuse my abuse of the word "conventional". 131 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,698 Um... 132 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,034 Time is a dimension in its own right. 133 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,771 Therefore, causality must be limited by the speed of light, 134 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:35,876 which prevents the paradox from ever catching up. 135 00:09:40,515 --> 00:09:42,383 How the hell am I even supposed to test that? 136 00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:51,759 Theory three. Um... 137 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,898 Uh, my presence has spawned a 138 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,334 new universe via my 139 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,337 interaction with it. 140 00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:05,372 Now, that's... 141 00:10:05,507 --> 00:10:06,674 That's an interesting one. 142 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,244 If my interaction is the seed, then, then from my frame, 143 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,379 no other traveler could impact my timeline. 144 00:10:12,514 --> 00:10:14,915 But, but, but the traveler could continually 145 00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,183 impact other timelines. 146 00:10:16,317 --> 00:10:18,486 Now, that, that's testable! 147 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:19,920 I just, I just need to have a... 148 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,623 I just, I just need to repeat the experiment! 149 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,130 - Now we're getting somewhere! 150 00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,499 As theorized, my own timeline remains unaffected! 151 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:39,541 Oh. 152 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,913 Oh, crap. Forgot about that. 153 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,815 Now there's a thought. - Now we're getting somewhere! 154 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,317 As theorized, my own timeline remains unaffected! 155 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,287 - Sorry. 156 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,490 - What the hell, man? 157 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:57,858 - It was an impulse. 158 00:10:57,992 --> 00:11:00,060 I was trying to catch myself by surprise. 159 00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:01,262 - That's moronic! 160 00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:02,531 - Don't be a dick. 161 00:11:04,465 --> 00:11:05,499 Right. - Right. 162 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:09,870 Twice! 163 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,275 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 164 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,954 - Right. 165 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,055 Eww. 166 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,962 No, no. Date, date! 167 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,419 - Hey! Excuse you, fucko! 168 00:11:58,553 --> 00:11:59,954 Yeah, 20 minutes late. 169 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,823 Bet ya five bucks he doesn't even show up. 170 00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:03,924 Nah, ah, ah, ah. 171 00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:05,125 That's mine. That's yours. 172 00:12:06,695 --> 00:12:08,796 - Wow. Are you, uh... 173 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,131 Are you like this all the time? 174 00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:12,166 - Yep. 175 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,400 - Kinda like it. 176 00:12:13,535 --> 00:12:15,336 - That's real. - Dr. Travers? 177 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:16,837 - Still not a doctor. - Yeah, whatever. 178 00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:19,373 Listen. You are belittling James a lot. 179 00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:21,576 He doesn't like it. Hell, he hates it. 180 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:24,613 So, please, on behalf of the entire production staff- 181 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,582 - Well, he's been dead for like 44 years. 182 00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:29,183 - Keep doing it. 183 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,251 - You ever been in a room with Paul McCartney? 184 00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:31,352 - It is delicious. 185 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:32,886 - Exactly! 186 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,656 "Defamation"? What about free speech? 187 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,023 Well, of course I made it up! 188 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,324 What does that have to do with anything? 189 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,561 - You go, James! We believe in you. 190 00:12:39,694 --> 00:12:41,962 Hm. I eat this shit up. 191 00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:43,764 - So, you're not into the whole- 192 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:47,268 - Mm, bored housewives with crystals and closet racists? 193 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,504 Nah, no. 194 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,171 I thought this would be a great post-college gig 195 00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:54,375 while I figured out what to do with my life, but, um, 196 00:12:54,509 --> 00:12:57,712 that was 15 years ago, because time is a cruel bitch. 197 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:58,846 - Yeah, it's on the Moon! 198 00:12:58,979 --> 00:12:59,714 By the moon, I mean my ass. 199 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:00,914 - I'm Delilah. 200 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:02,950 I stopped talking. 201 00:13:04,018 --> 00:13:05,754 - What? - Yeah, a while ago. 202 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,254 I'm sorry, is... 203 00:13:07,388 --> 00:13:08,355 Is my life story boring to you, 204 00:13:08,489 --> 00:13:09,624 or are you just incredibly rude? 205 00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:11,358 - Not mutually exclusive. 206 00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:12,627 - Wow! 207 00:13:12,761 --> 00:13:14,295 - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 208 00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:15,730 I am distracted, but it's not because you're boring. 209 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,498 You're not, you're not boring. 210 00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:20,502 Um, today was just a weird day. 211 00:13:20,635 --> 00:13:22,303 - How weird was your day? 212 00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:24,773 - Uh, honest answer? 213 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,106 - Yeah. 214 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,809 - Well, today, I activated a time machine 215 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,378 that is powered by nuclear materials 216 00:13:31,513 --> 00:13:35,115 that were stolen from a terrorist organization. 217 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,283 And, uh... 218 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,119 Then I went back in time and killed my younger self 219 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:43,558 repeatedly, and I have no idea how that's possible. 220 00:13:45,426 --> 00:13:47,394 - I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 221 00:13:47,529 --> 00:13:48,530 - What? What? - See? 222 00:13:48,663 --> 00:13:50,297 It's rude, and I was listening. 223 00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:53,067 Great bit. 224 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,469 You're not doing a bit. 225 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,077 Okay. All right. 226 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,845 - Yeah, I've got eyes on him. 227 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,581 Doesn't look like much. 228 00:14:07,381 --> 00:14:08,717 Just a waiting game now. 229 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,284 Oh, yes. Hi. 230 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,587 Uh, I'll have a Shirley Temple, easy on the grenadine. 231 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,789 - Sure. - Thank you very much. 232 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,423 - You know, um... 233 00:14:16,558 --> 00:14:18,425 Seeing you make James suffer was fun, 234 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,994 but this whole mad scientist shtick 235 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,497 it's like, it's like performance art. 236 00:14:23,631 --> 00:14:25,999 I'm just waiting for the cameras to pop out. 237 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,067 - I avoid cameras. 238 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:28,268 - Are your friends in on this? 239 00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:29,504 - I don't have friends. 240 00:14:29,637 --> 00:14:31,372 - Oh, gross. Not even as a kid? 241 00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:39,681 - Timothy Oliphant Travers! 242 00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:41,616 Are those real? - No, Mom! 243 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:44,819 I'm just using the electric potato. 244 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,387 - All right. 245 00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:47,655 I do not want a repeat of the Guinea pig incident! 246 00:14:47,789 --> 00:14:49,490 Only shock the potato. 247 00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:51,125 - Yes, Mother. 248 00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,870 - Oh, I'm gonna have to dig another hole. 249 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:06,240 - Went through a lot of friends, but that's fine. 250 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,644 Learning how to be by yourself is a reward of its own. 251 00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:10,978 - You know, to a point, but, 252 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,547 it's hard to take that armor off. 253 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,650 - Some people don't have the choice, so... 254 00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:19,186 It's also fine, because I don't need other people. 255 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,220 - Hm! 256 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,723 That's a thing that people say, 257 00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:23,525 when they think they're better and smarter. 258 00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:25,727 - I didn't mean it like that, but I am better and smarter. 259 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:31,231 Look. I don't share other people's values in the abstract. 260 00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,300 Take time travel. 261 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:36,270 A paradox will literally break reality, 262 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,172 and a reality broken can be rewritten. 263 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:41,041 - Ominous, but yeah, I get it. 264 00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:44,011 You hate that people wanna use it for time tourism. 265 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,314 Oh, kinda like when a lady discovers she has superpowers, 266 00:15:47,448 --> 00:15:49,784 and it's like, "Oh, no, but what, what does this mean 267 00:15:49,918 --> 00:15:51,251 for my job and relationship?" 268 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,721 And I'm like, "Bitch, you've got superpowers!" 269 00:15:53,855 --> 00:15:55,422 Yeah! Like, laser your boss to death! 270 00:15:55,557 --> 00:15:57,926 Throw your loser boyfriend into the sun and, and, 271 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,728 and go conquer the world, like a sane person. 272 00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,697 - Exactly. Thank you. 273 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:03,932 - Crush the peasants. 274 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,633 - It's misplaced priorities. 275 00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:08,335 It's like, you know, working on a, on a, on a work project 276 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:10,672 when someone is actively trying to kill you. 277 00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:12,239 - Right, right, or going on a date, 278 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,741 when you're about to conquer the world. 279 00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,276 - Right. - What're you doing? 280 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:17,411 But what? 281 00:16:19,213 --> 00:16:22,216 - You are absolutely right. 282 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,953 - Did, did I say that? I, I don't think I said that. 283 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,688 I said something about crushing peasants, 284 00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:27,755 but that was more for me. 285 00:16:27,889 --> 00:16:29,289 - I need to get back to the lab. 286 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,692 - What? Right, right now? 287 00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:31,759 - Yeah. 288 00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:34,394 - You may not know this, but a woman driving 289 00:16:34,529 --> 00:16:37,030 halfway across the city in the middle of murderville 290 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,399 is kind of a, it's kind of a leap of faith. 291 00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:41,268 That's not lost on you? 292 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,905 - It is not. - So... 293 00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:47,842 You're, you're, you're joking, right? 294 00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:49,343 You're trolling me for a goof, 295 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,011 because you're an ass like that. 296 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,881 - I am, but I am not. 297 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,350 - Well, I don't have to be polite anymore 298 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,051 because you're the one who's standing me up. 299 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,455 So, figure out where you are on the spectrum, dick weed, 300 00:17:01,589 --> 00:17:03,357 and then go fuck yourself! 301 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,560 Fuck off. 302 00:17:05,693 --> 00:17:06,861 Bye! 303 00:17:06,995 --> 00:17:08,997 Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you! 304 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,297 Fuck you guys, too! 305 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,165 Hey, you, with the French braid! You suck! 306 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:13,033 Fuck off! 307 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,335 This fuckin' bar is shit! 308 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,805 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 309 00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:20,140 - Is she pointing to us? - Fuck you! 310 00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:21,743 - Oh, my God. 311 00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:23,110 Ow! 312 00:17:26,881 --> 00:17:28,215 I'm not, um... 313 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,951 I've been checked. 314 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,351 Many times. 315 00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:34,154 Um... 316 00:17:34,288 --> 00:17:36,524 At worst, it's a, it's a case of mild psychosis. 317 00:17:36,658 --> 00:17:38,358 Which is unrelated. So, you know what? 318 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,628 I don't need the judgment right now. 319 00:17:40,762 --> 00:17:42,830 And also, honestly, it's kinda fucked up that you would 320 00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:45,667 make fun of somebody for being on the spectrum. 321 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,035 Fuck! Just fuck off! 322 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,707 - But I didn't say anything. 323 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,410 - You also forgot to charge them. 324 00:17:56,544 --> 00:17:59,881 - Crap! 325 00:18:09,891 --> 00:18:11,693 - Had to know, you know? 326 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,564 Maybe there was something there. 327 00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:27,842 Why am I telling you? 328 00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:32,747 You're just a localized wormhole, not a person. 329 00:18:38,586 --> 00:18:39,954 I know, I know, I know. 330 00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:42,289 Back to work! 331 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:45,026 Alone. 332 00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:53,034 Boys. 333 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,775 First rule of science! 334 00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,442 Repeat the experiment. 335 00:19:03,778 --> 00:19:04,979 Verify results. 336 00:19:07,982 --> 00:19:09,117 This is gonna suck. 337 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,522 - You did say this was gonna suck. 338 00:19:15,657 --> 00:19:17,091 - Motherfucker! 339 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,594 Come on! 340 00:19:19,727 --> 00:19:20,662 - Ow! 341 00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:21,929 Why did you... 342 00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:23,064 - Come on, now! 343 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,032 Oh! 344 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,238 - Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. 345 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,141 Okay, all right. 346 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,642 How about this? 347 00:19:34,776 --> 00:19:37,444 Hypothetically, let's say you make it work. 348 00:19:37,578 --> 00:19:39,514 You break the world, for no point, 349 00:19:39,647 --> 00:19:42,282 but to prove that you can do it. 350 00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:43,818 What then? 351 00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:45,153 Is a time machine that goes back one minute useful? 352 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,621 - That, that is a good question. 353 00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:48,589 - Yeah, well, this is all about questions. 354 00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:49,991 - Not good ones. 355 00:19:50,124 --> 00:19:54,261 Results prove... 356 00:19:55,129 --> 00:19:56,164 Consistent. 357 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:04,605 30-plus loops and still no perceivable paradox, so... 358 00:20:09,544 --> 00:20:10,545 Fuck. 359 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:20,521 Hold, hold on. 360 00:20:21,622 --> 00:20:24,125 Hold on. - Results prove consistent. 361 00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:30,164 30-plus loops and still no perceivable paradox, so... 362 00:20:30,732 --> 00:20:32,399 Yes, hi. 363 00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,135 Um, here's where I'm at on this. 364 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,837 We can safely conclude the observer's frame 365 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:37,171 cannot be impacted. 366 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,573 - You're, you're impacting me right now. 367 00:20:38,706 --> 00:20:39,807 - Don't interrupt. 368 00:20:39,941 --> 00:20:41,609 What we're testing is theory two, 369 00:20:41,743 --> 00:20:43,443 in which case, you didn't exist until about 10 seconds ago, 370 00:20:43,578 --> 00:20:44,746 but now that you do, however, 371 00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:46,914 your frame cannot be impacted again. 372 00:20:47,648 --> 00:20:48,616 - Right. 373 00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:50,618 - So, how do I test that? 374 00:20:51,819 --> 00:20:53,688 - Got it. You kill me. 375 00:20:53,821 --> 00:20:55,123 Um... 376 00:20:55,255 --> 00:21:00,327 - No, no, no, no! Not, not this me. 377 00:21:00,695 --> 00:21:04,431 - You, however, your frame cannot be impacted. 378 00:21:04,565 --> 00:21:05,867 - That me. 379 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,367 - How do test that? 380 00:21:07,502 --> 00:21:08,669 - I got it. You kill me. 381 00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:10,705 Not, not this me. 382 00:21:11,806 --> 00:21:13,875 - Jesus! 383 00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:16,944 - Okay, so that version of me died, 384 00:21:17,078 --> 00:21:19,847 but I didn't, so, that holds. 385 00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:22,216 - I'm sorry, what, what, what holds? 386 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:25,352 - Oh, he affected my timeline, and I wanted to prove 387 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,255 that he couldn't do it a second time, which of course- 388 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,056 - Supports theory three. I get it. 389 00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:30,691 Don't spoon feed me. 390 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:35,530 - Does everybody else want a drink? 391 00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,568 Cool, it's cool. 392 00:21:40,701 --> 00:21:41,702 - What the fuck? 393 00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,042 - Oh, my head. 394 00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:49,177 Oh! 395 00:21:51,279 --> 00:21:53,181 What's with the, the name tag? 396 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,382 - Trust me, you're all gonna be wanting these soon enough. 397 00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:56,918 All right? 398 00:21:57,051 --> 00:21:59,954 Anyway, we were arguing the merits of theory three. 399 00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:02,355 - Ah, but what if it's theory two, hm? 400 00:22:03,224 --> 00:22:04,659 And it's just the one timeline, 401 00:22:04,792 --> 00:22:07,295 but it's limited by the speed of light. 402 00:22:07,995 --> 00:22:08,996 - Good question. 403 00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:13,333 - Uh... 404 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,836 I mean, who cares, though? It's, it's... 405 00:22:14,969 --> 00:22:16,704 You can't control for it, so it's pointless. 406 00:22:16,838 --> 00:22:18,039 - We, we can! 407 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,574 We just have to go the other way through! 408 00:22:19,707 --> 00:22:20,675 - What? - What? 409 00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:21,676 - What? 410 00:22:21,809 --> 00:22:23,044 - Just stick with me here. Um... 411 00:22:23,177 --> 00:22:25,412 It's been six hours since, since he- 412 00:22:25,546 --> 00:22:27,281 - Mm-mm, mm-mm. 413 00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:29,617 - You started the first loop, right? 414 00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:31,853 So, the paradox, if it's moving at the speed of light, 415 00:22:31,986 --> 00:22:34,755 happened one minute in your past. 416 00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:36,324 If we go the other way, we could see it! 417 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:37,725 That's our control! 418 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,828 - You get all that? - Yeah pretty straightforward. 419 00:22:40,962 --> 00:22:42,163 - Mm. - Mm-hm. 420 00:22:42,296 --> 00:22:43,598 - Well, doesn't matter, 421 00:22:43,731 --> 00:22:45,465 'cause the machine doesn't work like that. 422 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:46,934 - It can! It can! 423 00:22:47,068 --> 00:22:49,270 We just have to figure out how to slow the... 424 00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:50,403 Slow the, the... 425 00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:53,207 Look, I need, I need, I need visual aids. 426 00:22:53,341 --> 00:22:55,442 So, let's just grab some of these, and just do it, 427 00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:58,045 do it, ow, the other way, ow! 428 00:22:58,179 --> 00:23:01,349 - All right, the coast is clear. Come on, pick those up. 429 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,917 - Jesus. - I need a drink! 430 00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:05,186 - Yeah, yep, yep. - It's gonna be fine. 431 00:23:05,319 --> 00:23:06,888 - All right. 432 00:23:07,021 --> 00:23:08,356 - What? 433 00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:09,156 You! 434 00:23:09,290 --> 00:23:10,124 - Which me? 435 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,192 Sorry. Hard to explain. 436 00:23:11,325 --> 00:23:13,094 How are you? 437 00:23:13,227 --> 00:23:14,295 What're you doing back here? 438 00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,330 - I forgot my scarf. 439 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:17,665 What are you doing here? 440 00:23:17,798 --> 00:23:18,666 I thought you had to go back to the lab? 441 00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:19,834 - Wasn't that yesterday? 442 00:23:19,967 --> 00:23:21,602 - No! It was two hours ago. 443 00:23:21,736 --> 00:23:24,005 - Two hours? - Yes! 444 00:23:24,138 --> 00:23:25,472 - Wow. I did way too many loops. 445 00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:28,376 - "Loops"? What is that, some kind of drink? 446 00:23:28,509 --> 00:23:29,277 - Yes? 447 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,378 - Really? 448 00:23:31,212 --> 00:23:32,647 Come buy me one. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 449 00:23:32,780 --> 00:23:34,649 - You owe me! Come on! 450 00:23:36,651 --> 00:23:38,886 - Hm? Hm? 451 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:40,621 - Oh, great! There goes the only sober one. 452 00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:44,091 I'm just too, too, too drunk to math right now. 453 00:23:44,225 --> 00:23:47,494 - I know some assholes who aren't. 454 00:23:48,996 --> 00:23:50,598 - The machine only loops one minute back! 455 00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:52,366 Why did you think that 21 drunks would be an improvement? 456 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:54,434 - I said I'm ordering coffee! 457 00:23:56,604 --> 00:23:58,406 24-hour coffee delivery. 458 00:23:58,539 --> 00:23:59,774 - Yeah, it's beautiful out here. 459 00:23:59,907 --> 00:24:01,342 - God bless capitalism. 460 00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:02,743 - Yeah, it took me about 20 minutes to get out here. 461 00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:04,011 - Bless it, I said! 462 00:24:23,864 --> 00:24:25,533 Look. 463 00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:27,335 I don't know who's following me, 464 00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,705 but you picked the wrong guy to be doing this... 465 00:24:37,211 --> 00:24:38,913 - That was worth the wait. 466 00:24:39,046 --> 00:24:41,682 I never get to use the shotgun, man. It's like too loud. 467 00:24:41,816 --> 00:24:43,985 But this place? 468 00:24:44,118 --> 00:24:47,288 You're so in the middle of nowhere here, I... 469 00:24:47,421 --> 00:24:48,723 I couldn't resist. 470 00:24:49,390 --> 00:24:50,591 Oh, fuck. Shit. 471 00:24:50,725 --> 00:24:51,892 Hold up, hold up. 472 00:24:52,026 --> 00:24:54,628 Uh, supposed to read you something. 473 00:24:55,529 --> 00:24:56,430 Ah, here we go. 474 00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:59,934 "Mr. Travers, The Kingmaker is a teacher, 475 00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:02,303 and today he is teaching you..." 476 00:25:04,405 --> 00:25:05,406 You listening? 477 00:25:09,777 --> 00:25:10,745 Shit! 478 00:25:12,413 --> 00:25:13,881 "The Kingmaker is above such things. 479 00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:15,783 The Kingmaker is a teacher, and today he is teaching 480 00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:18,085 the consequences of stealing from better men. 481 00:25:18,219 --> 00:25:19,954 Then shoot him." Then... 482 00:25:20,087 --> 00:25:21,722 Then shoot him! 483 00:25:21,856 --> 00:25:23,557 Right! 484 00:25:23,691 --> 00:25:24,658 Crap. 485 00:25:27,828 --> 00:25:28,929 Oh, well. 486 00:25:33,634 --> 00:25:34,568 - No, no, stop it. No. 487 00:25:34,702 --> 00:25:35,903 But seriously, seriously. 488 00:25:36,037 --> 00:25:37,638 That did sound like a gunshot earlier. 489 00:25:37,772 --> 00:25:40,174 - No, no, no, no. It's just a, a firework. 490 00:25:40,307 --> 00:25:41,409 They're, uh... 491 00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:43,010 Kids, they get in here, and they, 492 00:25:43,778 --> 00:25:45,379 they set 'em off all the time. 493 00:25:45,514 --> 00:25:47,248 - Uh, you're cool with that? 494 00:25:48,082 --> 00:25:51,419 - Yeah! Yeah, I mean, kids need to get hurt. 495 00:25:51,552 --> 00:25:54,523 Like, fewer fingers, stronger moral... 496 00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:56,323 Whatever. 497 00:25:58,426 --> 00:25:59,593 - Okay, you... 498 00:25:59,727 --> 00:26:01,162 You're actually fun. 499 00:26:01,295 --> 00:26:03,431 But only when you've been drinking. 500 00:26:05,266 --> 00:26:06,535 Announcement! 501 00:26:06,667 --> 00:26:10,404 The do-over date is officially a success! 502 00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:17,645 - So, so being drunk is a, a plus to you? 503 00:26:17,778 --> 00:26:19,213 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 504 00:26:19,346 --> 00:26:22,983 It makes it easier to get what I want, like answers. 505 00:26:23,117 --> 00:26:27,088 Like, why, Mr. Mad Scientist Man? Why? 506 00:26:27,221 --> 00:26:28,589 - Isn't curiosity enough? 507 00:26:28,722 --> 00:26:29,857 - No. 508 00:26:29,990 --> 00:26:32,093 I am curious about crypto, 509 00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:34,328 but I'm curious, because the more I know, 510 00:26:34,462 --> 00:26:36,464 the easier it is to game the suckers. 511 00:26:36,597 --> 00:26:38,332 I am curious about conspiracies 512 00:26:38,466 --> 00:26:41,268 because someone will always pay to believe it. 513 00:26:41,402 --> 00:26:43,270 I'm curious about sensitivity 514 00:26:43,404 --> 00:26:45,072 because humans love to control others 515 00:26:45,206 --> 00:26:48,175 while telling themselves they're the good guys. 516 00:26:48,309 --> 00:26:51,312 Curiosity always has an agenda, for people like me. 517 00:26:52,913 --> 00:26:53,914 Me and you. 518 00:26:54,882 --> 00:26:56,750 So, really. 519 00:26:58,619 --> 00:27:00,454 What is it that you want? 520 00:27:00,589 --> 00:27:02,723 - I want what everyone wants. 521 00:27:03,891 --> 00:27:05,527 To stand alone with God at the end of time 522 00:27:05,659 --> 00:27:07,094 and tell the bastard off. 523 00:27:07,228 --> 00:27:08,229 - Humble. 524 00:27:09,296 --> 00:27:11,999 And I bet ya five bucks God's a she. 525 00:27:13,267 --> 00:27:14,969 - Our world is shit. It's definitely a he. 526 00:27:15,102 --> 00:27:16,303 - Mm. - Okay! 527 00:27:16,437 --> 00:27:18,540 Let's go over this one more time. 528 00:27:18,672 --> 00:27:19,373 - Why? 529 00:27:19,508 --> 00:27:20,575 - Volume! 530 00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:22,209 I thought Eta was bringing coffee. 531 00:27:22,343 --> 00:27:26,180 - The machine works by using entangled particles. 532 00:27:26,313 --> 00:27:28,517 Now, one particle is tied to the entrance door. 533 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,018 That's the door moving forward through time. 534 00:27:31,152 --> 00:27:33,821 The other particle is run through the accelerator, 535 00:27:33,954 --> 00:27:37,526 slowing its frame down to a near standstill in time. 536 00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:39,026 - Who are you explaining this for? 537 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,296 - That particle is tied to the exit- 538 00:27:42,429 --> 00:27:44,298 - We all know this! 539 00:27:44,431 --> 00:27:47,701 - I'm not ashamed to admit this is actually helping. 540 00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:49,538 - But Alpha. 541 00:27:50,505 --> 00:27:51,205 - Mm-mm. 542 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:52,740 - Alpha? 543 00:27:52,873 --> 00:27:55,042 Alpha, Alpha, Alpha has been on this side of the door, 544 00:27:55,176 --> 00:27:57,011 for longer than one minute. 545 00:27:57,144 --> 00:27:58,379 So, that means that the paradox 546 00:27:58,513 --> 00:28:00,247 has overtaken the time difference! 547 00:28:00,381 --> 00:28:01,348 - We know! 548 00:28:01,482 --> 00:28:02,716 Ow! 549 00:28:02,850 --> 00:28:03,851 The fuck! 550 00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:06,287 Fuckin' asshole. 551 00:28:07,321 --> 00:28:08,355 - Perfect timing. 552 00:28:09,857 --> 00:28:14,596 The problem is that the door only opens backwards in time. 553 00:28:15,963 --> 00:28:17,064 Send something through the exit door, 554 00:28:17,198 --> 00:28:18,866 and it's just a normal door. 555 00:28:18,999 --> 00:28:22,369 But use the entrance door, and... 556 00:28:24,639 --> 00:28:26,807 - Ow! What the fuck? 557 00:28:26,941 --> 00:28:29,109 - See? I just threw that back in time. 558 00:28:29,243 --> 00:28:31,312 Hit Epsilon on the head and started that particular loop. 559 00:28:31,445 --> 00:28:34,215 - Sorry, but where did the football come from? 560 00:28:34,348 --> 00:28:36,016 - So, we just need to bring both doors 561 00:28:36,150 --> 00:28:37,552 into the same time frame, 562 00:28:37,686 --> 00:28:40,020 allowing us to travel the other way through, 563 00:28:40,154 --> 00:28:44,225 which, in theory, would let us catch up to the paradox! 564 00:28:47,261 --> 00:28:48,597 - Uh... 565 00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:51,265 Uh, seriously. Where did the, uh, football come from? 566 00:28:54,201 --> 00:28:55,604 - What about the multiverse? 567 00:28:55,736 --> 00:28:57,505 - Which franchise? 568 00:28:57,639 --> 00:28:58,806 - God's. 569 00:29:00,007 --> 00:29:01,842 - A multiverse is, is too convenient, right? 570 00:29:01,976 --> 00:29:04,044 It's not different versions of our lives. It's really- 571 00:29:04,178 --> 00:29:06,013 - I love the multiverse. 572 00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:08,482 I love all the different versions of me. 573 00:29:09,684 --> 00:29:10,685 - Oh. 574 00:29:12,152 --> 00:29:13,521 Okay. 575 00:29:13,655 --> 00:29:15,923 - It doesn't matter if I fuck up, because they made it. 576 00:29:18,259 --> 00:29:19,493 I like knowing that. 577 00:29:21,028 --> 00:29:23,397 There are some days I... 578 00:29:23,531 --> 00:29:24,633 I need that. 579 00:29:25,567 --> 00:29:28,603 - But if they succeeded, does that make them you? 580 00:29:30,137 --> 00:29:31,539 I mean, maybe... 581 00:29:31,673 --> 00:29:33,073 Maybe failing is what makes you you. 582 00:29:33,207 --> 00:29:35,677 Maybe, maybe failure is your defining trait. 583 00:29:38,012 --> 00:29:40,347 By which, I mean, um... 584 00:29:41,081 --> 00:29:41,982 - Recover. 585 00:29:42,116 --> 00:29:43,518 Recover fast. 586 00:29:44,385 --> 00:29:46,387 - Would you like to see my lab? 587 00:29:49,658 --> 00:29:50,592 - Okay. 588 00:29:51,258 --> 00:29:52,694 But seriously, fuck you. 589 00:29:57,599 --> 00:30:00,501 - So, this is the, uh... 590 00:30:00,635 --> 00:30:01,736 The lab! Um... 591 00:30:08,275 --> 00:30:11,378 Which we have all to ourselves. 592 00:30:12,313 --> 00:30:13,113 Apparently. 593 00:30:13,247 --> 00:30:14,281 - Why wouldn't we? 594 00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:19,486 Oh, right! Your time-looped friends. 595 00:30:19,621 --> 00:30:20,722 - Okay, okay. 596 00:30:20,888 --> 00:30:22,423 Uh, uh, uh, that's the wall. 597 00:30:22,557 --> 00:30:24,759 That's the, uh, the closet over there. 598 00:30:24,892 --> 00:30:26,994 That's a human hamster wheel. 599 00:30:27,127 --> 00:30:28,862 That's the time machine. Coffeemaker's broken. 600 00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:30,864 And that's basically it, so we should probably, 601 00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:32,199 probably go, right? 602 00:30:32,333 --> 00:30:35,436 - I'm sorry. "Human hamster wheel"? 603 00:30:37,237 --> 00:30:38,707 - That's, that's the piece you were impressed by? 604 00:30:38,839 --> 00:30:40,908 Oh, okay. Um, yeah, I mean, uh... 605 00:30:41,041 --> 00:30:45,346 I was trying a thing, but it didn't really work. 606 00:30:46,581 --> 00:30:47,615 Just too many feces. 607 00:30:47,749 --> 00:30:50,217 - Wow. Wow. 608 00:30:50,351 --> 00:30:54,556 I never thought I would be into a, um, LARPer. 609 00:30:54,689 --> 00:30:58,058 But your commitment is like... 610 00:31:01,095 --> 00:31:02,530 - Uh, sorry. What? 611 00:31:02,664 --> 00:31:06,601 - This! The, the toy guns, that prop! 612 00:31:06,735 --> 00:31:07,901 - My time machine is not a prop. 613 00:31:08,035 --> 00:31:09,236 - That. That right there. 614 00:31:09,370 --> 00:31:11,939 The commitment to the fantasy, I am... 615 00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:13,374 Ooh, I am into it. 616 00:31:13,508 --> 00:31:15,744 If I could afford to support a LARP like this, 617 00:31:15,876 --> 00:31:17,111 I don't even know what I would do with it. 618 00:31:17,244 --> 00:31:18,646 I, uh... 619 00:31:18,780 --> 00:31:19,581 Ah. 620 00:31:19,714 --> 00:31:21,215 Paid LARP vacations. 621 00:31:21,348 --> 00:31:23,384 No, somebody must be doing that. 622 00:31:24,051 --> 00:31:25,419 If you could classify it as porn, 623 00:31:25,553 --> 00:31:27,589 you could have the staff screw the customers. 624 00:31:27,722 --> 00:31:29,089 - Eww! - Oh, don't be a prude. 625 00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:31,760 - No, no, no, no, no, no. Eww to, to LARPing! 626 00:31:31,892 --> 00:31:33,628 I mean, this? This is real! 627 00:31:33,762 --> 00:31:36,163 This is my, my life's work! 628 00:31:36,296 --> 00:31:38,499 - Okay, drop it already! 629 00:31:38,633 --> 00:31:39,868 Talk like a normal person, 630 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,168 and not someone trying to sound smart! 631 00:31:41,301 --> 00:31:42,704 It's just not healthy! 632 00:31:42,837 --> 00:31:44,104 I bet ya five bucks you just spend 633 00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:46,240 too much time talking to yourself. 634 00:31:51,912 --> 00:31:52,980 Oh, my God. 635 00:31:53,113 --> 00:31:54,248 - Uh, Delilah, this- 636 00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:55,382 - Okay! 637 00:31:55,517 --> 00:31:56,818 Get away from me! 638 00:31:57,985 --> 00:31:59,788 - No, not that way! 639 00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:07,695 Probably fine, right? 640 00:32:07,829 --> 00:32:10,364 - If I could afford to support a LARP like this, 641 00:32:10,497 --> 00:32:11,800 I don't even know what I would do with it. 642 00:32:11,932 --> 00:32:13,367 I, uh... 643 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:14,935 Ah. 644 00:32:15,068 --> 00:32:16,003 Paid LARP vacations. 645 00:32:16,136 --> 00:32:17,906 No, somebody must be doing that. 646 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,909 If you could classify it as porn, you... 647 00:32:30,284 --> 00:32:32,854 No! Oh! 648 00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:34,288 - Oh, my god. 649 00:32:34,421 --> 00:32:35,322 - Oh, my god! 650 00:32:35,456 --> 00:32:36,658 - What the hell was that? 651 00:32:36,791 --> 00:32:37,792 Damn it, did you drop something again? 652 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,396 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 653 00:32:42,530 --> 00:32:45,499 - Why would you do that? 654 00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:46,801 - Holy shit! 655 00:32:46,935 --> 00:32:48,168 - Just, just, just give me the gun. 656 00:32:48,302 --> 00:32:49,504 - Give him the gun! 657 00:32:50,304 --> 00:32:51,438 - Stay back! All of you, stay back! 658 00:32:51,573 --> 00:32:53,675 - Just calm down. - Be cool, man! 659 00:32:53,808 --> 00:32:55,042 - Shut up, you freak! 660 00:32:55,175 --> 00:32:57,612 - Let's not be hypocritical here. 661 00:33:05,419 --> 00:33:06,220 - So? 662 00:33:06,353 --> 00:33:07,789 How did the date go? 663 00:33:09,858 --> 00:33:10,792 What? 664 00:33:13,126 --> 00:33:14,729 - Delilah? Delilah, look- - Don't you dare follow me! 665 00:33:14,863 --> 00:33:16,196 - Don't, don't worry, we won't. Come on. 666 00:33:16,330 --> 00:33:17,899 Like, a bunch of guys chasing a lone woman 667 00:33:18,031 --> 00:33:20,000 around their private compound at night? 668 00:33:20,133 --> 00:33:23,638 It's not exactly a great, a great look. Um... 669 00:33:24,271 --> 00:33:25,305 probably shouldn't have said that. 670 00:33:25,439 --> 00:33:26,340 - No shit! 671 00:33:27,107 --> 00:33:29,409 Listen, I don't have a box to put this in 672 00:33:29,544 --> 00:33:31,378 that will fit in my brain without, 673 00:33:31,513 --> 00:33:33,146 bet ya five bucks, exploding my head. 674 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,216 So, let's just forget this ever happened. 675 00:33:37,417 --> 00:33:40,153 - Trust me, it, it happened. 676 00:33:40,287 --> 00:33:41,556 - But reality is subjective, so no. 677 00:33:41,689 --> 00:33:43,290 - Subjective? Tell her that! 678 00:33:43,423 --> 00:33:44,391 - Nope! 679 00:33:45,425 --> 00:33:46,528 Oh, fuck! 680 00:33:46,661 --> 00:33:49,463 Motherfuckin' shit dick slug nug! 681 00:33:58,006 --> 00:33:59,039 Whoa! 682 00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:00,808 - Thanks for the jugs! 683 00:34:04,846 --> 00:34:05,680 Evening. 684 00:34:05,813 --> 00:34:07,114 - Travers? 685 00:34:07,247 --> 00:34:09,651 - All right. 686 00:34:09,784 --> 00:34:11,351 Let's get going. 687 00:34:11,485 --> 00:34:13,487 Oh, Jesus Christ. 688 00:34:16,356 --> 00:34:17,124 Yes. 689 00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:19,961 - You're Tim Travers. 690 00:34:20,093 --> 00:34:21,395 - We've established that. 691 00:34:23,096 --> 00:34:24,933 - You're not gonna believe this, but earlier tonight, 692 00:34:25,065 --> 00:34:26,834 I met a guy who looked exactly... 693 00:34:26,968 --> 00:34:31,071 I mean, exactly like you. 694 00:34:31,204 --> 00:34:34,709 - Just have one of those faces, I guess. 695 00:34:34,842 --> 00:34:36,611 - You do! - Yeah. 696 00:34:36,744 --> 00:34:38,111 Okay, I'm gonna get going, so, uh, 697 00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:40,213 you have a lovely little evening or whatever. 698 00:34:40,347 --> 00:34:43,417 Jesus Christ! 699 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,255 - Ah, shit! 700 00:34:49,591 --> 00:34:52,927 Uh, "The Kingmaker is a teacher." 701 00:34:55,195 --> 00:34:56,831 Fuck, I did it again. 702 00:34:56,965 --> 00:34:58,666 Stupid fuckin' note. 703 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,702 - I mean, I didn't even know that the gun was loaded. 704 00:35:00,835 --> 00:35:04,639 - So, does anyone else think it's a little weird 705 00:35:04,772 --> 00:35:06,941 that she shot her other self? 706 00:35:07,075 --> 00:35:10,110 I mean, I get that we did that as part of the experiment. 707 00:35:10,243 --> 00:35:11,512 She didn't know that. 708 00:35:11,646 --> 00:35:12,680 I mean, maybe that was just some other woman 709 00:35:12,814 --> 00:35:14,414 that looked a lot like her. 710 00:35:14,549 --> 00:35:18,720 Just a little weird that, uh, murder was her go-to response. 711 00:35:18,853 --> 00:35:19,821 I liked her. 712 00:35:19,954 --> 00:35:21,522 - You saw no red flags there? 713 00:35:21,656 --> 00:35:24,592 - She did mention something about "crushing peasants"? 714 00:35:24,726 --> 00:35:25,593 - Oh! 715 00:35:25,727 --> 00:35:27,260 I see what's going on here. 716 00:35:27,394 --> 00:35:29,329 You thought that she would fix you! 717 00:35:29,463 --> 00:35:30,832 - Fuck you! - Oh, fuck you. 718 00:35:30,965 --> 00:35:32,199 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 719 00:35:32,332 --> 00:35:33,433 Guys, just, let's just chill, okay? 720 00:35:33,568 --> 00:35:34,736 - Fuck you, too. - Fuck off! 721 00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:36,370 - Fuck you! - Fuck both of you. 722 00:35:36,504 --> 00:35:37,905 - Fuck all of you! 723 00:35:38,039 --> 00:35:39,540 - Fuck that, too! - All right. 724 00:35:39,674 --> 00:35:40,975 I'm just gonna gonna say it. - Fuck you, motherfucker! 725 00:35:41,109 --> 00:35:42,275 - You all thinking what I'm thinking? 726 00:35:42,409 --> 00:35:44,244 - That's exactly what I'm thinking. 727 00:35:44,378 --> 00:35:45,713 - Tim Travers? 728 00:35:46,547 --> 00:35:48,049 Go fuck yourself. 729 00:35:48,181 --> 00:35:49,182 - Fuck yeah. 730 00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:51,619 - Oh, yeah! 731 00:35:51,753 --> 00:35:54,287 - What's that for? - Mood music. 732 00:35:58,158 --> 00:35:59,226 - Okay. 733 00:35:59,359 --> 00:36:00,595 Okay, uh... 734 00:36:00,728 --> 00:36:01,996 Hold on. You know what? 735 00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:03,263 Let's turn it up. 736 00:36:04,398 --> 00:36:06,534 - Yeah, it's pick-up from here on, buddy. 737 00:36:06,668 --> 00:36:08,036 - Hey. Hey, how are you? 738 00:36:08,168 --> 00:36:09,604 Um, the uh, orgy's happening. 739 00:36:09,737 --> 00:36:12,073 - Oh, ho, ho, ho! Well, it's about time! 740 00:36:12,205 --> 00:36:13,340 Woo! 741 00:36:13,473 --> 00:36:14,474 - Yes. 742 00:36:16,376 --> 00:36:17,779 That'll work. 743 00:36:19,547 --> 00:36:20,515 I... 744 00:36:21,949 --> 00:36:23,685 I figured it out. 745 00:36:23,818 --> 00:36:25,553 I did it! 746 00:36:25,687 --> 00:36:26,921 You guys, we... 747 00:36:32,694 --> 00:36:34,428 Where is everybody? 748 00:36:49,409 --> 00:36:52,180 - Hold that other leg. - Oh, yeah! 749 00:36:57,284 --> 00:36:59,120 Stop licking me. 750 00:36:59,252 --> 00:37:00,387 - Who are you? 751 00:37:00,521 --> 00:37:02,023 - They asked me to hold the coffee. 752 00:37:02,156 --> 00:37:04,926 - Say my name. Say my name, Tim! 753 00:37:05,059 --> 00:37:07,327 Say my name, Tim! 754 00:37:07,461 --> 00:37:09,931 - Tim, Tim, Tim. 755 00:37:10,064 --> 00:37:11,199 Say my name. 756 00:37:11,331 --> 00:37:13,568 Say my name, Tim! 757 00:37:13,701 --> 00:37:14,969 Tim! 758 00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,603 - Delta, no names. 759 00:37:53,741 --> 00:37:55,743 - Oh, God. I feel so close to you right now. 760 00:38:07,622 --> 00:38:09,322 - No, lick there, lick there. 761 00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:11,125 - Okay, but what about the soul? 762 00:38:11,259 --> 00:38:12,894 How does time travel account 763 00:38:13,027 --> 00:38:15,428 for two spirits occupying the same space? 764 00:38:15,563 --> 00:38:17,698 - The same way that it accounts for unicorns and dragons 765 00:38:17,832 --> 00:38:19,834 or other shit that isn't real! 766 00:38:19,967 --> 00:38:21,501 We are just meat! 767 00:38:21,636 --> 00:38:23,671 The meaning of life is to eat, shit, 768 00:38:23,805 --> 00:38:27,074 fuck to create more meat, and repeat, until we die, alone! 769 00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:33,014 In the end... 770 00:38:33,915 --> 00:38:35,116 All of us are alone. 771 00:38:43,356 --> 00:38:44,759 - We'll be right back with more Tim Travers 772 00:38:44,892 --> 00:38:47,128 and his super happy outlook on life. 773 00:38:48,629 --> 00:38:51,032 - I'm so confused. 774 00:38:51,165 --> 00:38:53,234 How does someone affiliate the time dilation 775 00:38:53,366 --> 00:38:56,070 of an accelerated particle to a door frame? 776 00:38:56,204 --> 00:38:58,773 - Okay, you're not listening. I need you to hear me, okay? 777 00:38:58,906 --> 00:39:01,742 This guy is crazy. I think, I think he might be a terrorist. 778 00:39:01,876 --> 00:39:03,578 - Oh, honey. 779 00:39:03,711 --> 00:39:07,315 Weirdo or no, labeling somebody with that term? 780 00:39:07,447 --> 00:39:08,850 - He's white. 781 00:39:08,983 --> 00:39:12,153 - Uh, oh, shit. Yeah, definitely a terrorist then. 782 00:39:12,286 --> 00:39:14,155 What is this guy's name? 783 00:39:14,288 --> 00:39:15,723 - Tim. Tim Travers. 784 00:39:15,857 --> 00:39:16,858 - Who? 785 00:39:20,261 --> 00:39:20,895 Who? 786 00:39:21,028 --> 00:39:22,296 - Tim Travers! 787 00:39:25,233 --> 00:39:26,334 - Who in the fuck... 788 00:39:26,466 --> 00:39:28,936 - Oh, my! 789 00:39:29,070 --> 00:39:30,338 - Whoa. - I hate this town. 790 00:39:30,470 --> 00:39:32,405 I hate everyone in it, so, so much! 791 00:39:34,575 --> 00:39:37,812 Bet ya five bucks I've had a weirder day than you. 792 00:39:37,945 --> 00:39:38,846 - You're on. 793 00:39:39,513 --> 00:39:41,349 You guys have no idea. 794 00:39:43,050 --> 00:39:45,553 - It's gonna hold. - It's too much power. 795 00:39:52,793 --> 00:39:54,394 It's classic Tim. 796 00:39:59,767 --> 00:40:01,302 - You sluts! 797 00:40:01,434 --> 00:40:03,571 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We do not need the judgment. 798 00:40:03,704 --> 00:40:05,405 Where, where'd you get the coffee? 799 00:40:05,539 --> 00:40:06,507 - Sorry. 800 00:40:17,051 --> 00:40:18,019 Last cup. 801 00:40:20,254 --> 00:40:21,122 Delivery guy must've stolen the rest. 802 00:40:21,255 --> 00:40:23,324 I bet you forgot to tip. 803 00:40:26,661 --> 00:40:28,629 - Fuck you, motherfucker! 804 00:40:28,763 --> 00:40:29,697 - Damn. 805 00:40:30,463 --> 00:40:32,600 - So? 806 00:40:34,068 --> 00:40:35,336 How was, uh... 807 00:40:36,504 --> 00:40:37,405 It? 808 00:40:37,538 --> 00:40:38,673 - Amazing. - Incredible. 809 00:40:38,806 --> 00:40:40,440 - Best sex ever. - Obviously great! 810 00:40:40,574 --> 00:40:41,709 Uh... 811 00:40:41,842 --> 00:40:43,511 - Pretty bland, honestly. 812 00:40:45,212 --> 00:40:46,514 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. 813 00:40:46,647 --> 00:40:47,447 I thought we were done jerking each other off. 814 00:40:47,581 --> 00:40:48,649 It was great! 815 00:40:49,449 --> 00:40:54,021 - In all fairness, a great bonding experience. 816 00:40:54,822 --> 00:40:58,926 And, uh, I learned some things about myself, and... 817 00:41:00,294 --> 00:41:01,228 - Tau! 818 00:41:02,063 --> 00:41:05,132 How about you go get us some more coffee? 819 00:41:05,266 --> 00:41:06,734 Go. 820 00:41:06,867 --> 00:41:07,868 Go now. 821 00:41:09,003 --> 00:41:10,504 Now! 822 00:41:10,638 --> 00:41:11,706 - You're just jealous that no one invited you to the orgy. 823 00:41:11,839 --> 00:41:13,140 - Ooh! 824 00:41:21,248 --> 00:41:22,350 - Get. 825 00:41:22,482 --> 00:41:23,451 Out. 826 00:41:29,357 --> 00:41:31,459 - "Go get the coffee, Tau. Hold my wrench, Tau. 827 00:41:31,592 --> 00:41:33,127 Lube is for sissies, Tau." 828 00:41:33,260 --> 00:41:35,763 Well, that's why no one invited you to the orgy, asshole! 829 00:41:41,202 --> 00:41:42,636 And you are? 830 00:41:42,770 --> 00:41:44,305 Whoa. 831 00:41:44,438 --> 00:41:45,873 Whoa, whoa, whoa, man. 832 00:41:46,007 --> 00:41:47,875 - I don't know how you're doing this, but it won't work. 833 00:41:48,009 --> 00:41:50,044 Decoys? Body doubles? 834 00:41:50,177 --> 00:41:51,946 Magic tricks? I don't fuckin' care. 835 00:41:52,079 --> 00:41:54,415 I will do this all goddamn night, if I have to, 836 00:41:54,548 --> 00:41:56,517 because I am a professional! 837 00:41:58,219 --> 00:41:59,720 - Okay, I think there has been a big misunderstanding! 838 00:41:59,854 --> 00:42:01,155 - Shut up! 839 00:42:01,288 --> 00:42:04,692 I have a message for you from The Kingmaker. 840 00:42:06,961 --> 00:42:08,863 - Oh, shit. That guy, um- 841 00:42:08,996 --> 00:42:10,264 - "Mr. Travers. 842 00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:14,268 Do not think of this as punishment or revenge. 843 00:42:14,402 --> 00:42:16,837 The Kingmaker is above such things. 844 00:42:16,971 --> 00:42:18,539 The Kingmaker is a teacher, 845 00:42:18,672 --> 00:42:21,942 and today, he is teaching you the consequences 846 00:42:22,076 --> 00:42:25,246 of stealing from better men." 847 00:42:26,614 --> 00:42:27,581 There. 848 00:42:28,582 --> 00:42:29,483 I said it. 849 00:42:29,617 --> 00:42:33,220 I read the whole damn message. 850 00:42:33,354 --> 00:42:35,156 And now, I just wanna be absolutely sure 851 00:42:35,289 --> 00:42:37,391 that I'm killing the right guy this time. 852 00:42:37,526 --> 00:42:40,728 So, are you Tim Travers? 853 00:42:41,629 --> 00:42:42,463 - No? 854 00:42:42,596 --> 00:42:43,532 - Liar! 855 00:43:05,753 --> 00:43:07,455 - Oh. 856 00:43:07,588 --> 00:43:09,023 You're the, uh, the Tim 857 00:43:09,156 --> 00:43:11,792 that wasn't taking anyone's crap earlier, right? 858 00:43:11,926 --> 00:43:13,027 - Yeah. 859 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,863 I mean, come off it, right? 860 00:43:15,996 --> 00:43:17,264 Yeah, it's like we're all putting on this performance, 861 00:43:17,398 --> 00:43:18,232 and for who? 862 00:43:18,365 --> 00:43:21,135 - Our egos. 863 00:43:21,268 --> 00:43:23,070 Anyway, it was, good on you. 864 00:43:23,838 --> 00:43:26,340 - No, you'd have done the same. 865 00:43:26,474 --> 00:43:28,909 - I didn't, though. Which is weird, right? 866 00:43:29,043 --> 00:43:31,145 I mean, maybe the, uh, experience drift 867 00:43:31,278 --> 00:43:34,181 between individual Tims is, is growing. 868 00:43:34,315 --> 00:43:36,217 - Well, a few hours can change a person. 869 00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:37,852 - Yeah, that's what my doctor... 870 00:43:37,985 --> 00:43:40,421 Oh. 871 00:43:40,555 --> 00:43:42,223 - I'll get that. 872 00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,026 Here. - Oh, thanks. 873 00:43:53,067 --> 00:43:54,935 I'm just... 874 00:43:59,340 --> 00:44:00,908 - Oh, fuck! That's hot. 875 00:44:01,041 --> 00:44:03,911 Which is why it will double the energy output, 876 00:44:04,044 --> 00:44:05,913 and also the radiation. 877 00:44:06,914 --> 00:44:08,482 - Well, what about matter? 878 00:44:08,617 --> 00:44:12,086 - Yeah, I think that matters! - No, no. What about matter? 879 00:44:12,219 --> 00:44:13,555 Every time we create a new Tim, 880 00:44:13,687 --> 00:44:16,957 where is the matter coming from, you know? 881 00:44:17,091 --> 00:44:18,627 - Huh. 882 00:44:18,759 --> 00:44:20,361 We must be pulling it from somewhere else in the Universe. 883 00:44:20,494 --> 00:44:22,597 The equivalent to 20... 884 00:44:22,730 --> 00:44:24,231 No, no, 30 30? 885 00:44:24,365 --> 00:44:25,733 - Tims. 886 00:44:25,866 --> 00:44:27,334 - Ah, fuck. That's too many Tims. 887 00:44:27,468 --> 00:44:28,702 - Yeah, I'd say. 888 00:44:28,836 --> 00:44:30,505 Thank you, Jason McKee, 889 00:44:30,639 --> 00:44:34,141 for that insightful report on postpartum depression for men. 890 00:44:34,275 --> 00:44:36,877 On to national news tonight, at a Mississippi church, 891 00:44:37,011 --> 00:44:39,947 30 parishioners appear to have been raptured. 892 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,951 Details are vague, but experts are dismissing this theory, 893 00:44:44,084 --> 00:44:47,388 instead arguing for wormhole displacement theory. 894 00:44:47,522 --> 00:44:49,857 In spite of the evidence... 895 00:44:49,990 --> 00:44:51,091 - Shut up. 896 00:44:51,225 --> 00:44:53,160 All right, everybody! 897 00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:55,162 Gather round! Gather round! 898 00:44:55,296 --> 00:44:58,332 All right, make a little semicircle for me. 899 00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:03,837 Close enough. I have some sad news. 900 00:45:03,971 --> 00:45:05,973 Tau Tim has been murdered. 901 00:45:06,106 --> 00:45:07,474 - Oh, no, not Tau. - Who? 902 00:45:07,609 --> 00:45:08,809 - Yeah, very sad. 903 00:45:08,943 --> 00:45:10,311 Anyway, somebody's been picking off the Tims 904 00:45:10,444 --> 00:45:12,479 on the coffee runs, so from here on out, 905 00:45:12,614 --> 00:45:14,949 I am imposing the buddy system. 906 00:45:15,082 --> 00:45:16,083 - Boo! 907 00:45:17,652 --> 00:45:20,321 - Also, this does mean there is no coffee. 908 00:45:20,454 --> 00:45:21,556 - Oh, come on! 909 00:45:21,690 --> 00:45:22,856 - You've gotta be fucking kidding me! 910 00:45:22,990 --> 00:45:24,992 - I fucking hate this place! 911 00:45:25,125 --> 00:45:27,795 - She was into a multiverses? 912 00:45:27,928 --> 00:45:29,330 - Exactly. 913 00:45:29,463 --> 00:45:30,998 And I have this whole theory about why multiverses 914 00:45:31,131 --> 00:45:33,200 are stupid and people like them anyway. 915 00:45:33,901 --> 00:45:37,071 I tried not to say anything, ended up being a dick anyway. 916 00:45:37,204 --> 00:45:38,172 - Well... 917 00:45:39,139 --> 00:45:40,341 What's your theory? 918 00:45:40,474 --> 00:45:41,543 - I mean, obviously you know it already. 919 00:45:41,676 --> 00:45:44,311 - Yeah, but... 920 00:45:44,445 --> 00:45:46,013 It'd be nice to hear somebody else say it. 921 00:45:46,146 --> 00:45:50,050 I'm just so tired of hearing my own voice, you know? 922 00:45:50,184 --> 00:45:52,786 - That resonates. 923 00:45:54,188 --> 00:45:56,323 The multiverse isn't different versions of our lives. 924 00:45:56,457 --> 00:45:58,158 It's actually different sets of laws. 925 00:45:58,292 --> 00:46:00,629 I mean, why should one plus one equal two, right? 926 00:46:00,761 --> 00:46:04,331 I mean, why was there slightly more matter than anti-matter? 927 00:46:04,465 --> 00:46:06,200 It's the same as the entirety of history. It's just the- 928 00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:09,069 - The newest way to put ourselves at the center. 929 00:46:09,903 --> 00:46:12,039 To convince ourselves that we matter. 930 00:46:12,172 --> 00:46:14,676 - Why is not mattering so bad? 931 00:46:14,808 --> 00:46:18,379 I mean, why is it so terrifying to... 932 00:46:18,513 --> 00:46:19,880 Not be the most important person? 933 00:46:20,014 --> 00:46:20,981 - It's freeing. 934 00:46:21,782 --> 00:46:24,586 My mistakes are mine and mine alone. 935 00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,020 - As are my victories. 936 00:46:29,390 --> 00:46:30,391 - In life. 937 00:46:31,492 --> 00:46:32,627 - In science. 938 00:46:34,763 --> 00:46:35,764 - In love? 939 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,942 I got it. 940 00:46:50,044 --> 00:46:51,178 - What is it? 941 00:46:51,312 --> 00:46:52,813 - Something about missing coffee. 942 00:46:52,946 --> 00:46:53,947 I'm honestly still trying to figure out why our phones 943 00:46:54,081 --> 00:46:55,517 are working like this. 944 00:46:55,650 --> 00:46:56,950 - Someone at Verizon is having a meltdown right now. 945 00:47:16,270 --> 00:47:19,139 - Oh, shit! 946 00:47:19,273 --> 00:47:20,709 Yeah, Boss? 947 00:47:20,841 --> 00:47:23,377 - You know I do not like to be kept waiting. 948 00:47:23,511 --> 00:47:25,279 - Yeah, I know, I know, but it's fine. 949 00:47:25,412 --> 00:47:27,414 - Helter? 950 00:47:27,549 --> 00:47:28,650 Helter! 951 00:47:28,783 --> 00:47:31,318 Is the bastard dead already? 952 00:47:31,452 --> 00:47:34,421 This guy goes off-grid for a year, 953 00:47:34,556 --> 00:47:36,924 and then the idiot shows up on a podcast. 954 00:47:37,057 --> 00:47:38,859 - I swear, I, I... 955 00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:40,260 I don't understand. 956 00:47:40,394 --> 00:47:42,196 - Do I need to bring in Royce? 957 00:47:45,734 --> 00:47:47,101 - Royce? 958 00:47:47,234 --> 00:47:49,103 - Royce. 959 00:47:50,037 --> 00:47:50,904 - Royce is here? 960 00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:52,507 - Near enough. 961 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,777 So, do your job, and if I don't hear from you in one hour, 962 00:47:55,909 --> 00:47:58,713 I am bringing in Royce. 963 00:48:00,881 --> 00:48:02,851 - Fuck! Fuckin' cunt fuck! 964 00:48:02,983 --> 00:48:05,486 Fucking brother! 965 00:48:05,620 --> 00:48:06,621 Fuck! 966 00:48:07,921 --> 00:48:09,189 - I'd like to point out to the audience, 967 00:48:09,323 --> 00:48:12,292 this is the first pause Tim has taken. 968 00:48:12,993 --> 00:48:14,294 Why are you even here? 969 00:48:15,362 --> 00:48:17,565 I mean, you don't respect any of us. 970 00:48:17,699 --> 00:48:18,932 You've just been ranting at my audience 971 00:48:19,066 --> 00:48:21,268 and me for two hours, torturing us. 972 00:48:22,537 --> 00:48:24,138 Did I do something to you? 973 00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:26,875 Did I beat you up on a playground somewhere when I was- 974 00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:28,442 - No, no, nothing like that. 975 00:48:28,576 --> 00:48:29,644 You just dumbed down the human race a little bit. 976 00:48:29,778 --> 00:48:31,245 - Why is it so important for you 977 00:48:31,378 --> 00:48:35,349 to be smarter than a guy you don't even respect? 978 00:48:36,651 --> 00:48:38,853 I mean, who are you trying to impress here? 979 00:48:45,627 --> 00:48:48,262 What is the point of all this? 980 00:48:48,395 --> 00:48:50,330 - Well, isn't it obvious? 981 00:48:50,464 --> 00:48:52,332 If something should go wrong when I turn on the machine, 982 00:48:52,466 --> 00:48:55,402 a record would be a pretty good thing to have. 983 00:48:55,537 --> 00:48:57,404 You were the only one who took the interview. 984 00:48:57,539 --> 00:48:59,507 - With full love and respect, 985 00:49:00,374 --> 00:49:03,944 I hope you die a very painful death. 986 00:49:04,646 --> 00:49:06,714 - Aww. 987 00:49:06,848 --> 00:49:08,215 - No, no. I still have mine. 988 00:49:08,348 --> 00:49:10,117 - I heard this Somebody probably- 989 00:49:10,250 --> 00:49:11,619 - No, no. I told you! 990 00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:14,121 - Hey! 991 00:49:15,055 --> 00:49:18,959 Uh, I think that things might be about to get weird, 992 00:49:19,092 --> 00:49:20,360 or weird, weirder. 993 00:49:20,494 --> 00:49:22,329 Um... 994 00:49:22,463 --> 00:49:24,699 I don't know, I thought maybe it'd be a good idea 995 00:49:24,833 --> 00:49:28,302 to have a way to, you know, recognize each other. 996 00:49:28,435 --> 00:49:32,339 - Why would we need a way to, uh, recognize each other? 997 00:49:33,641 --> 00:49:34,642 - Um... 998 00:49:35,944 --> 00:49:38,111 Well, because I, uh, uh... 999 00:49:38,245 --> 00:49:41,114 It's cool, it's cool, it's cool. 1000 00:49:41,248 --> 00:49:43,350 That's, uh... 1001 00:49:44,853 --> 00:49:48,989 I care about, I care, I care about that, too. 1002 00:49:51,191 --> 00:49:52,760 - I... 1003 00:49:52,894 --> 00:49:56,531 It's the, uh, only sticker I could find. 1004 00:50:02,670 --> 00:50:03,838 - I love it. 1005 00:50:09,544 --> 00:50:10,845 - Blah. 1006 00:50:21,923 --> 00:50:23,490 - Breathe, baby. 1007 00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:24,959 We're almost home. 1008 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:26,895 Power core stable? 1009 00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:29,129 If not, we're gonna die! 1010 00:50:29,263 --> 00:50:30,732 Good enough. 1011 00:50:30,865 --> 00:50:32,499 - Is the second particle moving? 1012 00:50:32,634 --> 00:50:34,903 - Yeah, yeah. Full speed in a few seconds. 1013 00:50:36,905 --> 00:50:38,940 - Hey, hey, do you smell something burning? 1014 00:50:39,072 --> 00:50:41,041 Eh, it's probably my imagination. 1015 00:50:44,144 --> 00:50:48,148 - Iota, I've got this. You go see the paradox. 1016 00:50:48,282 --> 00:50:52,754 I owe you one. 1017 00:51:02,062 --> 00:51:04,331 Jesus fucking Christ! 1018 00:51:06,968 --> 00:51:08,068 What the hell? 1019 00:51:13,073 --> 00:51:14,976 Okay. Let's be cool, man. 1020 00:51:15,108 --> 00:51:17,612 Whoa, whoa, whoa, please. - You said that already! 1021 00:51:18,345 --> 00:51:20,848 - When? - When I killed you! 1022 00:51:20,982 --> 00:51:22,082 Motherfucker. 1023 00:51:22,215 --> 00:51:24,418 And then I killed you at the coffee stand. 1024 00:51:24,552 --> 00:51:26,453 And then I was in the restaurant with that lady- 1025 00:51:26,588 --> 00:51:29,456 - Fucking Delilah. - And I killed you again. 1026 00:51:29,591 --> 00:51:31,626 - Oh, so, so you're the guy? 1027 00:51:31,759 --> 00:51:33,327 - I'm the guy. 1028 00:51:33,460 --> 00:51:34,662 And you... 1029 00:51:36,163 --> 00:51:37,431 What are you? 1030 00:51:40,568 --> 00:51:41,401 Are you 1031 00:51:41,536 --> 00:51:43,504 a god? 1032 00:51:43,638 --> 00:51:45,873 - Well, metaphorically, everyone's a God, 1033 00:51:46,007 --> 00:51:47,274 from their own perspective, so- 1034 00:51:47,407 --> 00:51:49,677 - Literally! Are you a god? 1035 00:51:49,811 --> 00:51:51,079 - No, no! No, not a god. 1036 00:51:51,211 --> 00:51:53,081 Not a god. Not yet! 1037 00:51:54,549 --> 00:51:57,085 - Behind that door lies our future! 1038 00:51:57,217 --> 00:51:58,920 - Or present, technically. 1039 00:51:59,053 --> 00:52:00,120 - What? Whatever! 1040 00:52:02,557 --> 00:52:05,425 The paradox is within our ability to understand. 1041 00:52:07,494 --> 00:52:08,796 To control. 1042 00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:10,865 Now, at long last- 1043 00:52:10,999 --> 00:52:12,232 - Oh, my God! get on with it already! 1044 00:52:12,366 --> 00:52:15,603 - I was, you dingus! 1045 00:52:15,737 --> 00:52:19,007 Now, at long last... 1046 00:52:19,139 --> 00:52:21,542 Let's go unmake history. 1047 00:52:33,755 --> 00:52:34,922 - Oh, shit. 1048 00:52:37,558 --> 00:52:39,127 - Oh, shit! 1049 00:52:43,031 --> 00:52:44,197 - Fuck, fuck! 1050 00:52:44,331 --> 00:52:45,867 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 1051 00:52:56,811 --> 00:52:58,780 - Oh, shit! It's gonna go insane! 1052 00:53:07,088 --> 00:53:07,889 - Oh, my... 1053 00:53:14,361 --> 00:53:15,697 - Oh, wow! 1054 00:53:19,266 --> 00:53:21,936 - Don't worry! I'll help you! 1055 00:53:33,981 --> 00:53:35,482 Come on! 1056 00:53:40,621 --> 00:53:41,488 - Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait! 1057 00:54:25,566 --> 00:54:27,267 - I'm still on fire! 1058 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:32,540 Put me out, put me out, put me out! 1059 00:54:53,661 --> 00:54:54,929 - I, I, uh... 1060 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,001 Help? 1061 00:55:08,743 --> 00:55:09,744 That did 1062 00:55:11,378 --> 00:55:12,345 not go 1063 00:55:13,781 --> 00:55:14,916 great. 1064 00:55:15,049 --> 00:55:16,784 - Just take it, take it easy, okay? 1065 00:55:16,918 --> 00:55:18,219 That's, um... 1066 00:55:18,351 --> 00:55:23,090 That's gonna be bitch a to patch up. 1067 00:55:23,224 --> 00:55:24,357 But you're gonna be all right. You're gonna be all right. 1068 00:55:24,491 --> 00:55:25,458 I just need... 1069 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:27,595 We just need to think. 1070 00:55:30,497 --> 00:55:35,770 I just, I just need to think. Um... 1071 00:55:38,539 --> 00:55:41,642 I, I, I don't, I don't know... 1072 00:55:41,776 --> 00:55:42,844 I'm sorry. 1073 00:55:48,348 --> 00:55:49,517 - It's okay. 1074 00:55:50,218 --> 00:55:51,351 It's okay. 1075 00:55:55,089 --> 00:55:57,158 Just hang out with me for a minute. 1076 00:55:59,426 --> 00:56:00,393 Please. 1077 00:56:01,494 --> 00:56:03,264 - Okay. 1078 00:56:03,396 --> 00:56:04,431 Okay. 1079 00:56:06,033 --> 00:56:07,301 Just one minute. That's all you get. 1080 00:56:11,706 --> 00:56:14,609 - I wish there was a multiverse. 1081 00:56:17,211 --> 00:56:19,379 So that I could be the, 1082 00:56:20,948 --> 00:56:24,819 the version of me that was brave enough to, 1083 00:56:25,586 --> 00:56:27,387 to tell you that... 1084 00:56:43,104 --> 00:56:46,073 I'm still on fire! 1085 00:56:54,315 --> 00:56:57,518 Thank you. - You're welcome. 1086 00:57:07,561 --> 00:57:08,529 - Helter? - King! 1087 00:57:08,663 --> 00:57:10,398 He made a sky beam. 1088 00:57:10,531 --> 00:57:14,201 A Marvel fucking sky beam! 1089 00:57:14,335 --> 00:57:15,703 Send in Royce! 1090 00:57:15,836 --> 00:57:19,573 - He's already on his way. 1091 00:57:19,707 --> 00:57:22,576 - Power's down. Reactor's down. 1092 00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:26,247 Four Tims are dead. The accelerator's still working. 1093 00:57:26,380 --> 00:57:29,350 But, uh, Iota is still missing. 1094 00:57:30,217 --> 00:57:32,053 It's a three-ring shit-show. 1095 00:57:32,853 --> 00:57:33,888 Fuck me. 1096 00:57:34,021 --> 00:57:35,156 - Um... 1097 00:57:35,823 --> 00:57:37,725 Why can we still see through it? 1098 00:57:43,030 --> 00:57:46,867 - 'Cause in the future, we get it working again 1099 00:57:48,569 --> 00:57:53,040 and send the energy backwards, just like the matter. 1100 00:57:57,311 --> 00:57:59,447 This has only been a minor setback. 1101 00:58:00,881 --> 00:58:03,317 - Enough! - Huh? 1102 00:58:03,451 --> 00:58:04,585 - What? 1103 00:58:04,719 --> 00:58:06,454 - I said, enough! 1104 00:58:06,587 --> 00:58:08,488 I am done. I am, I am out! 1105 00:58:08,622 --> 00:58:10,758 Everything has gotten too, too confusing and too, 1106 00:58:10,891 --> 00:58:12,660 too painful, too... 1107 00:58:15,963 --> 00:58:16,964 Too sad. 1108 00:58:19,066 --> 00:58:19,867 That's it. 1109 00:58:20,001 --> 00:58:21,202 I'm, I'm, I'm out. 1110 00:58:21,335 --> 00:58:24,071 - You can't leave. You are Tim Travers! 1111 00:58:25,373 --> 00:58:27,575 - Well, at least I'm not you! 1112 00:58:28,309 --> 00:58:30,978 - We are all you! 1113 00:58:31,112 --> 00:58:32,847 Separated by a few hours. 1114 00:58:36,117 --> 00:58:39,320 - Sometimes, a few hours can change a person. 1115 00:59:10,651 --> 00:59:11,685 - Delta! 1116 00:59:11,819 --> 00:59:13,120 Got your coffee, Delta. 1117 00:59:16,424 --> 00:59:18,059 Keep up with the good work, bud. 1118 00:59:19,093 --> 00:59:20,995 And it's the left clamp. 1119 00:59:24,899 --> 00:59:27,468 May I have the wrench from you? The wrench. 1120 00:59:27,601 --> 00:59:29,170 The wrench! - Ow! 1121 00:59:31,038 --> 00:59:32,507 - And up! - Woo! 1122 01:00:05,139 --> 01:00:07,675 - I'm where you said to meet. 1123 01:00:08,342 --> 01:00:12,413 He's supposed to be the frickin' expert, man! 1124 01:00:17,818 --> 01:00:22,990 Whoa! 1125 01:00:35,202 --> 01:00:36,203 - Kingmaker? 1126 01:00:38,873 --> 01:00:39,940 Yo, King! 1127 01:00:41,842 --> 01:00:43,578 Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. 1128 01:00:43,711 --> 01:00:45,913 Disrespectful, incompetent. 1129 01:00:46,046 --> 01:00:47,214 Yada, yada, yada, I know. 1130 01:00:47,348 --> 01:00:49,216 - He's talking about Travers, right? 1131 01:00:50,519 --> 01:00:52,186 - Hey, it's no problem. 1132 01:00:52,319 --> 01:00:54,889 Yeah, I tell you what I'm gonna do. 1133 01:00:55,022 --> 01:00:58,826 I'm gonna cut his dick off, and feed it to him. 1134 01:00:58,959 --> 01:01:03,464 I'll send you pics when I'm done, all right? 1135 01:01:03,598 --> 01:01:05,799 - There's more than one of him, or he might be immortal. 1136 01:01:05,933 --> 01:01:08,836 He might be a god, man! - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 1137 01:01:08,969 --> 01:01:10,337 Hey, hey. 1138 01:01:10,471 --> 01:01:11,472 Relax. 1139 01:01:12,406 --> 01:01:13,908 A few kills under your belt, 1140 01:01:14,041 --> 01:01:17,378 and you think it's gonna be smooth sailin'. 1141 01:01:17,512 --> 01:01:18,513 Then... 1142 01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:20,781 The guilt sets in. 1143 01:01:21,616 --> 01:01:22,883 Can't shoot guilt! 1144 01:01:23,017 --> 01:01:25,853 So, you start seein' things that aren't there. 1145 01:01:28,322 --> 01:01:29,690 Burnout is real. 1146 01:01:30,457 --> 01:01:31,458 Right, fellas? 1147 01:01:32,426 --> 01:01:34,428 - I swear to you, I am not crazy. 1148 01:01:34,563 --> 01:01:37,898 - Don't worry about it, okay? We believe you. 1149 01:01:40,569 --> 01:01:41,902 In fact, you know what I'll let you do? 1150 01:01:42,036 --> 01:01:43,971 I'll even let you watch. Would you like that? 1151 01:01:45,607 --> 01:01:48,543 - I would like that very much, please. Thank you. 1152 01:01:50,645 --> 01:01:52,581 - Let's try this again. 1153 01:02:03,558 --> 01:02:08,729 - Very impressive! 1154 01:02:18,540 --> 01:02:20,040 - Need more power! 1155 01:02:20,174 --> 01:02:21,875 Ready transition to the grid! 1156 01:02:22,009 --> 01:02:24,078 - Oh, fuck you, man! 1157 01:02:24,211 --> 01:02:26,080 - Faster! 1158 01:02:38,826 --> 01:02:40,494 - Idiots. 1159 01:02:40,629 --> 01:02:43,430 - For the last time, Carol. I'm not going to harm myself! 1160 01:02:43,565 --> 01:02:45,799 It was a different Delilah! 1161 01:02:46,967 --> 01:02:48,802 Who I killed. 1162 01:02:54,208 --> 01:02:55,710 Fuck Tim Travers. 1163 01:02:57,411 --> 01:02:59,146 No, I don't mean sexually! 1164 01:03:04,885 --> 01:03:07,187 - As I said. 1165 01:03:07,321 --> 01:03:10,858 Behind that door lies our future! 1166 01:03:11,992 --> 01:03:13,927 It's like Mom always used to say. 1167 01:03:14,061 --> 01:03:15,496 "You're not a great person, Tim. 1168 01:03:15,630 --> 01:03:16,864 Hell, you're not even a very good person. 1169 01:03:16,997 --> 01:03:21,135 But what you are is a great scientist!" 1170 01:03:21,268 --> 01:03:23,370 No matter how strange or bizarre, 1171 01:03:23,505 --> 01:03:26,173 we, we follow the evidence. 1172 01:03:26,307 --> 01:03:29,376 Mortal laws no longer apply to us, and in a few seconds, 1173 01:03:29,511 --> 01:03:32,179 even the laws of nature won't apply anymore! 1174 01:03:32,980 --> 01:03:35,550 And I know that you know I know that 1175 01:03:35,684 --> 01:03:38,586 because you know I know that you know! 1176 01:03:42,356 --> 01:03:43,390 Come along. 1177 01:03:44,425 --> 01:03:46,093 Let's go unmake history. 1178 01:03:53,735 --> 01:03:55,869 Holy shit! Oh, oh! 1179 01:03:56,003 --> 01:03:57,505 Fuck! 1180 01:03:57,639 --> 01:03:58,573 No, hey! 1181 01:04:02,843 --> 01:04:04,478 Holy fuck. We blew up the universe. 1182 01:04:04,612 --> 01:04:06,213 - We can't have destroyed it! - Then where is it? 1183 01:04:06,347 --> 01:04:08,282 - Gone! - That is impossible. 1184 01:04:08,415 --> 01:04:09,917 - Help me! 1185 01:04:10,050 --> 01:04:11,385 - What the fuck about this day has led you to believe 1186 01:04:11,519 --> 01:04:12,787 that anything could be impossible? 1187 01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:14,154 - If the universe were gone, 1188 01:04:14,288 --> 01:04:15,724 then its laws should be gone, too. 1189 01:04:15,856 --> 01:04:16,890 - Why are you talking about this right now? 1190 01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:18,593 - Gravity is still in play. 1191 01:04:18,727 --> 01:04:19,594 Where is that coming from, if there's no more universe? 1192 01:04:19,728 --> 01:04:20,795 - Hey, he's right! 1193 01:04:20,928 --> 01:04:22,129 - What ar you? Okay, he's right! 1194 01:04:22,262 --> 01:04:23,897 Pull me up! What the fuck? 1195 01:04:24,031 --> 01:04:25,199 - Who cares where it's coming from if there's no more Earth? 1196 01:04:25,332 --> 01:04:26,534 - I do! 1197 01:04:26,668 --> 01:04:29,937 You bastard! 1198 01:04:30,070 --> 01:04:31,606 - You just killed Zeta Tim. 1199 01:04:31,740 --> 01:04:35,677 - Well, yeah, but I mean, he was creeping everybody out. 1200 01:04:35,810 --> 01:04:36,778 Right? 1201 01:04:42,182 --> 01:04:44,184 - Bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. 1202 01:04:46,487 --> 01:04:47,955 - That's, that's it? That's the paradox? 1203 01:04:48,088 --> 01:04:50,859 Just an unending black room? 1204 01:04:50,991 --> 01:04:51,959 - Maybe. 1205 01:05:01,435 --> 01:05:02,436 But I think not. 1206 01:05:03,303 --> 01:05:05,005 Now, stay with me on this. 1207 01:05:05,139 --> 01:05:07,207 Imagine the, uh, two conflicting timelines 1208 01:05:07,341 --> 01:05:09,309 are more like differently charged particles. 1209 01:05:09,443 --> 01:05:10,277 - But why would they do that? 1210 01:05:10,411 --> 01:05:11,679 - I said, "Stay with me." 1211 01:05:11,813 --> 01:05:13,180 Now, the paradox brings the two 1212 01:05:13,313 --> 01:05:14,948 differently charged timelines together, 1213 01:05:15,082 --> 01:05:16,917 destroying both and removing the conflicting information. 1214 01:05:17,050 --> 01:05:18,452 - The only place that information 1215 01:05:18,586 --> 01:05:19,888 can be destroyed is a singularity. 1216 01:05:20,020 --> 01:05:21,321 - Exactly! 1217 01:05:21,455 --> 01:05:23,957 Black holes reduce information to max entropy, 1218 01:05:24,091 --> 01:05:27,494 which means that the natural response in nature 1219 01:05:27,629 --> 01:05:30,364 to a paradox is a black hole. 1220 01:05:30,497 --> 01:05:32,332 - So, we didn't destroy the universe! 1221 01:05:32,466 --> 01:05:35,269 We just created a black hole in that timeline that 1222 01:05:36,638 --> 01:05:40,407 destroyed the Earth and, and killed everyone that we know. 1223 01:05:40,542 --> 01:05:41,509 - Oh, boy. 1224 01:05:42,309 --> 01:05:43,611 - Hold on, hold on. 1225 01:05:43,745 --> 01:05:45,279 If we created a black hole in that timeline, 1226 01:05:45,412 --> 01:05:46,346 then how come Zeta Tim, when we dropped him in, 1227 01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:47,782 could still breathe? 1228 01:05:47,916 --> 01:05:49,416 - Fuck off! I don't know everything, Sigma! 1229 01:05:49,551 --> 01:05:51,118 I mean, this week, I entangled and stored particles 1230 01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:52,720 matched them to the physical space of a door, 1231 01:05:52,854 --> 01:05:54,354 invented fucking time travel, 1232 01:05:54,488 --> 01:05:56,724 and may have just found a new way to create black holes! 1233 01:05:56,858 --> 01:05:59,259 So, cut me some fucking slack! 1234 01:05:59,393 --> 01:06:02,429 - I mean, maybe, if you were able to cheat your way 1235 01:06:02,564 --> 01:06:05,332 past the spaghettification of an, of an event horizon, 1236 01:06:05,466 --> 01:06:07,501 then you would be moving faster than the speed of light 1237 01:06:07,635 --> 01:06:10,003 and frozen in time, relative to the universe. 1238 01:06:10,137 --> 01:06:12,973 But you would continue to perceive the passage of time 1239 01:06:13,106 --> 01:06:17,244 as an illusion and just stay in that state forever, maybe! 1240 01:06:17,377 --> 01:06:22,584 - So, Zeta Tim will be falling through the void, 1241 01:06:23,885 --> 01:06:29,022 without aging or dying, literally forever? 1242 01:06:29,289 --> 01:06:30,792 - Well, shit. Now I feel bad. 1243 01:06:30,925 --> 01:06:32,259 - An important safety tip. 1244 01:06:32,392 --> 01:06:35,162 Nobody ever go the, the other way through. 1245 01:06:41,703 --> 01:06:45,807 - Makes sense to me! 1246 01:06:45,940 --> 01:06:46,975 See, kid? 1247 01:06:48,342 --> 01:06:49,476 Not magic. 1248 01:06:50,377 --> 01:06:51,378 Just power. 1249 01:06:51,513 --> 01:06:53,581 - Sorry, but who the hell are... 1250 01:06:54,983 --> 01:06:55,817 - Oh! 1251 01:06:55,950 --> 01:06:56,818 - Yeah! 1252 01:06:56,951 --> 01:07:00,220 Nice work. 1253 01:07:00,354 --> 01:07:04,959 Arthritis sets in, you gotta start delegating, 1254 01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,326 you know, as you get older. 1255 01:07:06,460 --> 01:07:07,795 - If I may, uh... 1256 01:07:07,929 --> 01:07:09,931 Is this all about the stolen plutonium? 1257 01:07:10,063 --> 01:07:13,200 - Yeah. It's about the plutonium. 1258 01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:16,638 How the hell do you forget about plutonium? 1259 01:07:16,771 --> 01:07:18,272 - Oh, that I stole. 1260 01:07:18,940 --> 01:07:22,075 - It's been a weird day. - Weird, confusing. 1261 01:07:22,944 --> 01:07:24,411 Really, really stupid. 1262 01:07:25,045 --> 01:07:29,483 Although, it's about to get stupider! 1263 01:07:33,655 --> 01:07:35,723 Arrogant mortals! 1264 01:07:35,857 --> 01:07:37,491 You're tampering with the very programming 1265 01:07:37,625 --> 01:07:38,726 of reality itself! 1266 01:07:38,860 --> 01:07:40,327 - Holo-Universe. Fuckin' called it. 1267 01:07:40,460 --> 01:07:42,564 - Shut the fuck up! - Who the fuck are you? 1268 01:07:42,697 --> 01:07:44,064 - Good question. 1269 01:07:44,197 --> 01:07:45,533 - Who the fuck do you think I am? 1270 01:07:45,667 --> 01:07:47,501 I'm God, you miserable little shits! 1271 01:07:47,635 --> 01:07:48,903 - Now, that's it. I'm done. 1272 01:07:49,037 --> 01:07:52,072 If God actually exists, then I'm out. 1273 01:07:52,205 --> 01:07:53,775 Later, everybody. 1274 01:07:57,210 --> 01:08:00,247 - Hey! Did you just let that guy leave? 1275 01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:02,382 - I don't understand what's happening right now! 1276 01:08:02,517 --> 01:08:04,117 - Me neither. Uh... 1277 01:08:04,251 --> 01:08:07,454 When you say God, do you mean like, like a god or God, God? 1278 01:08:07,589 --> 01:08:09,189 You know? I just, I have some follow-up questions. 1279 01:08:09,323 --> 01:08:11,091 To the statement, "I am God." 1280 01:08:11,224 --> 01:08:15,830 - And I think you're full of shit! 1281 01:08:26,440 --> 01:08:28,475 - Just to be clear... 1282 01:08:29,276 --> 01:08:31,846 He did not speak for the group. 1283 01:08:33,648 --> 01:08:34,348 - You idiot! 1284 01:08:46,594 --> 01:08:49,964 Hey! I dunno what's gonna happen now! 1285 01:08:51,065 --> 01:08:52,466 - What are you? 1286 01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,167 - Thought I told you. 1287 01:08:54,301 --> 01:08:58,973 I'm the Alpha and Omega that's about to own your bitch ass. 1288 01:09:07,414 --> 01:09:09,784 - Oh, you son of a fuck... 1289 01:09:10,417 --> 01:09:11,485 - Yeah! - Woo! 1290 01:09:11,619 --> 01:09:12,954 - Shut up! 1291 01:09:13,087 --> 01:09:14,889 Forgot how annoying I am. 1292 01:09:15,023 --> 01:09:15,923 - Sorry. Um... 1293 01:09:16,057 --> 01:09:17,290 "I"? 1294 01:09:21,562 --> 01:09:24,164 - Do you know what it's like to fall forever? 1295 01:09:25,332 --> 01:09:27,568 Unable to starve, unable to die. 1296 01:09:27,702 --> 01:09:29,037 You go mad! 1297 01:09:29,169 --> 01:09:31,773 You begin to create new realities in your mind, 1298 01:09:31,906 --> 01:09:34,307 so as to not be so completely alone. 1299 01:09:36,077 --> 01:09:37,912 You refine and perfect each iteration, 1300 01:09:38,046 --> 01:09:40,180 until you can run a simulation so flawless 1301 01:09:40,313 --> 01:09:41,949 that from the frame of the beings within, 1302 01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:43,250 the difference between their reality 1303 01:09:43,383 --> 01:09:45,720 and a physical one is semantics. 1304 01:09:47,220 --> 01:09:48,890 And you do it over and over, 1305 01:09:49,824 --> 01:09:51,092 until a perfect recreation 1306 01:09:51,224 --> 01:09:53,661 of your original reality can be constructed. 1307 01:09:54,996 --> 01:09:56,130 That 1308 01:09:56,263 --> 01:09:59,567 is how you achieve God-hood, bitches. 1309 01:09:59,701 --> 01:10:03,336 - So, the universe is just a simulated reality in your head? 1310 01:10:03,470 --> 01:10:04,739 - Yes. 1311 01:10:04,872 --> 01:10:05,740 - Based on the reality that you originated from? 1312 01:10:05,873 --> 01:10:07,207 - Yes! 1313 01:10:07,340 --> 01:10:08,776 - A reality in which you were the Zeta Tim that we... 1314 01:10:08,910 --> 01:10:12,513 Sorry. He dropped into a black hole? 1315 01:10:12,647 --> 01:10:13,380 - Yes. 1316 01:10:13,514 --> 01:10:14,749 - Dude! 1317 01:10:14,882 --> 01:10:16,718 - I created this universe for the sole purpose 1318 01:10:16,851 --> 01:10:18,586 of arriving at this very moment. 1319 01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:21,723 - To tell us that you love and forgive us? 1320 01:10:25,492 --> 01:10:26,426 - No. 1321 01:10:34,267 --> 01:10:37,205 Fuckin' why? 1322 01:10:41,642 --> 01:10:42,977 - Come on. 1323 01:10:46,547 --> 01:10:48,482 - It starts with the cause. We will stop- 1324 01:10:48,616 --> 01:10:49,784 - Weren't you just- 1325 01:10:50,484 --> 01:10:53,054 - Yeah. I just got one of those faces. 1326 01:10:53,187 --> 01:10:54,589 I know. 1327 01:10:54,722 --> 01:10:56,724 You would not believe the weird shit I have seen today. 1328 01:10:58,159 --> 01:10:59,627 Illegal Canadians coming down- 1329 01:10:59,761 --> 01:11:02,663 - You buy me this drink, and I'll blow your mind. 1330 01:11:02,797 --> 01:11:04,565 - As you know, they can't buy homes- 1331 01:11:04,699 --> 01:11:06,968 - Listen, I... 1332 01:11:09,670 --> 01:11:12,707 - Live the American dream, but no, they are poor. 1333 01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:16,144 And, uh, you know, my heart goes out to 'em and my heart- 1334 01:11:16,276 --> 01:11:17,812 - Oh, man, that felt good! 1335 01:11:20,380 --> 01:11:21,481 Oh, yes. 1336 01:11:21,616 --> 01:11:24,252 Yes, yes, yes. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah! 1337 01:11:24,384 --> 01:11:28,022 Fuck yeah! 1338 01:11:28,156 --> 01:11:29,524 Oh! 1339 01:11:29,657 --> 01:11:33,694 Ah. 1340 01:11:35,730 --> 01:11:38,633 Of course, now I wonder... 1341 01:11:44,505 --> 01:11:45,506 - Hm. 1342 01:11:46,908 --> 01:11:47,842 Hm. 1343 01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:51,378 Yes, apparently it is possible to kill God. 1344 01:11:51,512 --> 01:11:52,713 Hm. 1345 01:12:01,756 --> 01:12:03,490 Still feel like I'm forgetting something. 1346 01:12:07,094 --> 01:12:08,729 - They're always screaming at me. 1347 01:12:08,863 --> 01:12:11,532 I can't understand 'em. He's gotta do something about it. 1348 01:12:11,666 --> 01:12:14,068 - Can, can I get another one? Um... 1349 01:12:16,204 --> 01:12:17,305 Okay, look. 1350 01:12:23,845 --> 01:12:27,849 Travers. Travers! 1351 01:12:30,117 --> 01:12:31,853 - Me? 1352 01:12:31,986 --> 01:12:33,688 - How could I forget something? 1353 01:12:33,821 --> 01:12:36,724 Omnipotence knows no exceptions! 1354 01:12:38,593 --> 01:12:42,063 Unless I didn't create this universe. 1355 01:12:42,196 --> 01:12:43,164 I... 1356 01:12:44,198 --> 01:12:45,800 I just hacked it. 1357 01:12:47,335 --> 01:12:49,537 Which would mean that... 1358 01:12:52,540 --> 01:12:53,708 I'm limited. 1359 01:12:56,344 --> 01:12:58,846 Just another meek little... 1360 01:13:00,281 --> 01:13:01,381 No, no, no! 1361 01:13:05,418 --> 01:13:06,587 Well, maybe. 1362 01:13:13,227 --> 01:13:14,328 Not for long. 1363 01:13:23,905 --> 01:13:25,606 - Do these look even? 1364 01:13:25,740 --> 01:13:27,174 Oh! 1365 01:13:27,308 --> 01:13:29,310 Oh, that is really getting old. 1366 01:13:34,248 --> 01:13:35,883 So, um, about what we were talking about earlier. 1367 01:13:36,017 --> 01:13:38,286 - Hey, thank you. 1368 01:13:38,418 --> 01:13:39,720 - Okay, um... 1369 01:13:39,854 --> 01:13:41,522 So, so you and that Helter guy 1370 01:13:41,656 --> 01:13:43,456 were coming here to kill me because- 1371 01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:44,625 - Stolen reactor. 1372 01:13:44,759 --> 01:13:46,928 - Stolen reactor, right. 1373 01:13:47,061 --> 01:13:48,329 I knew that radio show was a mistake. 1374 01:13:48,461 --> 01:13:51,065 But, but just so I'm clear, 1375 01:13:51,198 --> 01:13:53,134 you're not gonna kill me now? 1376 01:13:53,267 --> 01:13:54,467 - No. 1377 01:13:54,602 --> 01:13:57,204 You wanna know the secret to a long life? 1378 01:13:57,338 --> 01:13:59,240 Know your limitations. 1379 01:13:59,373 --> 01:14:03,844 The other you killed my men with his mind! 1380 01:14:04,477 --> 01:14:05,713 Look. I'm outta here. 1381 01:14:05,846 --> 01:14:08,616 I'm gonna go home, call my grandkids, 1382 01:14:08,749 --> 01:14:10,450 and tell 'em I love 'em. 1383 01:14:12,119 --> 01:14:13,888 - Wow! You... 1384 01:14:14,021 --> 01:14:15,389 You, you're married? 1385 01:14:16,290 --> 01:14:18,859 With, with kids and grandkids? That's amazing. 1386 01:14:18,993 --> 01:14:20,493 - The fuck's that supposed to mean? 1387 01:14:20,628 --> 01:14:22,462 - Didn't mean to offend, I... 1388 01:14:22,596 --> 01:14:25,967 It's just that you're literally a professional murderer. 1389 01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:27,301 I mean, does your wife know about that? 1390 01:14:27,435 --> 01:14:30,237 - She thinks it's hot. 1391 01:14:30,371 --> 01:14:31,372 And it is. 1392 01:14:32,506 --> 01:14:33,473 - Well... 1393 01:14:34,308 --> 01:14:36,844 Good for you, and her. 1394 01:14:36,978 --> 01:14:38,679 - Mm. 1395 01:14:38,813 --> 01:14:41,983 - Some people are just meant for love. 1396 01:14:44,051 --> 01:14:46,153 Some aren't. - Ah, bullshit. 1397 01:14:46,287 --> 01:14:51,392 Abusers, rapists, drug dealers, murderers, politicians, 1398 01:14:51,525 --> 01:14:55,463 pricks on YouTubes, worst people imaginable, 1399 01:14:55,596 --> 01:14:57,732 most still find someone to love 'em 1400 01:14:57,865 --> 01:15:01,669 in spite of being worthless fuckin' garbage! 1401 01:15:01,802 --> 01:15:03,704 And that includes you. 1402 01:15:04,405 --> 01:15:06,507 Now, your problem is that you don't know 1403 01:15:06,640 --> 01:15:10,878 how to love yourself, and nobody can help you with that, 1404 01:15:12,380 --> 01:15:14,181 but you. 1405 01:15:16,217 --> 01:15:17,184 Ah! 1406 01:15:18,052 --> 01:15:19,453 - I loved myself, today. 1407 01:15:19,587 --> 01:15:23,024 - Look, I don't know what the fuck that means, 1408 01:15:23,858 --> 01:15:27,428 but I'll tell you, you wanna learn to love yourself, 1409 01:15:27,561 --> 01:15:32,666 you've gotta find the angriest, ugliest part of you 1410 01:15:33,100 --> 01:15:37,004 and show that son of a bitch they're beautiful. 1411 01:15:39,640 --> 01:15:42,009 - You must have to do that a lot. 1412 01:15:42,143 --> 01:15:43,444 - Screw you. 1413 01:15:45,579 --> 01:15:46,814 I'm beautiful. 1414 01:15:47,516 --> 01:15:50,651 You don't believe me, just ask my grandkids. 1415 01:15:57,224 --> 01:15:58,259 Where you goin'? 1416 01:15:59,827 --> 01:16:01,429 - Following your advice. 1417 01:16:01,562 --> 01:16:03,097 It's time to meet my maker. 1418 01:16:04,365 --> 01:16:07,601 - Hey, you try to talk to that guy and you're gonna die! 1419 01:16:13,340 --> 01:16:15,109 - Wouldn't be the first time. 1420 01:16:15,242 --> 01:16:16,110 Oh! 1421 01:16:16,243 --> 01:16:18,045 Come on! Get over it! 1422 01:16:20,214 --> 01:16:21,649 That's why I don't tip! 1423 01:16:26,020 --> 01:16:28,022 What the hell is that? 1424 01:16:31,859 --> 01:16:33,961 - Looks like a buildup of stacked singularities, 1425 01:16:34,095 --> 01:16:35,463 if you ask me. 1426 01:16:36,163 --> 01:16:37,231 - That's... 1427 01:16:38,432 --> 01:16:39,300 Yeah. 1428 01:16:39,433 --> 01:16:41,902 Holy shit! 1429 01:16:44,772 --> 01:16:48,242 - And I think we know, say it out loud together, 1430 01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:49,977 who's starting these fires. 1431 01:16:50,778 --> 01:16:52,179 Illegal Canadians. 1432 01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:57,251 That's right, Illegal Canadians coming down from Canada 1433 01:16:57,384 --> 01:16:58,853 building themselves these fires, 1434 01:16:58,986 --> 01:17:01,556 because as you know, they can't buy a home. 1435 01:17:04,658 --> 01:17:08,563 Look, go grab your mom, tell her you love her. 1436 01:17:16,937 --> 01:17:19,574 - Oh, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. 1437 01:17:24,712 --> 01:17:25,713 Come on. Pick up, pick up! 1438 01:17:30,718 --> 01:17:31,986 - Hello? 1439 01:17:32,119 --> 01:17:33,387 - Hey, uh, Delilah? Yeah, it's, it's Tim. 1440 01:17:33,522 --> 01:17:35,557 The, uh, the, the time travel guy? 1441 01:17:35,689 --> 01:17:38,392 I, uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 1442 01:17:38,527 --> 01:17:39,960 - Oh, this oughta be rich. 1443 01:17:40,094 --> 01:17:41,328 - I just wanted you to know that 1444 01:17:41,462 --> 01:17:43,864 we're clearly not going to be a thing, um... 1445 01:17:43,998 --> 01:17:45,199 - You seriously called to tell me that? 1446 01:17:45,332 --> 01:17:48,035 - And! And to apologize. 1447 01:17:48,169 --> 01:17:50,704 I know I saw a lot of ugly versions of myself today, 1448 01:17:50,838 --> 01:17:52,206 and I'm pretty sure you did, too! 1449 01:17:52,339 --> 01:17:53,707 So, I'm sorry things got so out of control, 1450 01:17:53,841 --> 01:17:54,842 and I'm sorry that I failed. 1451 01:17:54,975 --> 01:17:56,443 It's just something that I do. 1452 01:17:56,578 --> 01:17:59,581 I don't know why I do it. - Honestly, Tim, it's fine. 1453 01:17:59,713 --> 01:18:01,248 I mean, it was fucked up, 1454 01:18:01,382 --> 01:18:04,619 but there's a middle ground between hate and love and... 1455 01:18:05,319 --> 01:18:07,522 That's us. The middle people. 1456 01:18:08,255 --> 01:18:10,991 - Thanks. I'm gonna try and put all this back together. 1457 01:18:11,125 --> 01:18:12,493 - I thought you said you weren't gonna try 1458 01:18:12,627 --> 01:18:14,228 to make us a thing? 1459 01:18:14,361 --> 01:18:15,829 - No, no, no. I meant the universe! 1460 01:18:15,963 --> 01:18:17,231 - What about it? 1461 01:18:17,364 --> 01:18:18,432 - Well, what do you mean, "What about it?" 1462 01:18:18,567 --> 01:18:19,934 Have you looked out your wi... 1463 01:18:21,101 --> 01:18:25,406 - Goodbye, Tim, and maybe try to be nicer to yourself. 1464 01:18:25,540 --> 01:18:26,840 Literally. 1465 01:18:26,974 --> 01:18:28,742 - Believe it or not, that is actually the idea. 1466 01:18:35,182 --> 01:18:36,917 - Fuck. 1467 01:18:37,051 --> 01:18:41,455 - I love you, baby. 1468 01:18:44,992 --> 01:18:46,827 - So, that's how Bigfoot does it. 1469 01:18:51,633 --> 01:18:53,568 - I choose not to believe in that. 1470 01:19:34,241 --> 01:19:35,744 - I remember you. 1471 01:19:36,777 --> 01:19:40,014 You're the one that said a few hours can change a person. 1472 01:19:41,982 --> 01:19:45,720 Well, you have no idea how right you were. 1473 01:19:47,522 --> 01:19:50,224 Do you know what it's like to fall forever? 1474 01:19:51,025 --> 01:19:52,259 - Skip. 1475 01:19:52,393 --> 01:19:54,061 I know the universe is a creation in your head, 1476 01:19:54,194 --> 01:19:55,963 Russian nesting doll style, and that you're God. 1477 01:19:56,096 --> 01:19:57,064 Royce filled me in. 1478 01:19:57,197 --> 01:19:58,198 I figured out on the way over 1479 01:19:58,332 --> 01:19:59,534 that you couldn't actually be God 1480 01:19:59,668 --> 01:20:01,902 and must've just hacked the system. 1481 01:20:03,003 --> 01:20:06,940 And judging by the unraveling, 1482 01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:08,442 I'm guessing you figured that out, too, 1483 01:20:08,576 --> 01:20:10,512 and you're not taking it very well. 1484 01:20:10,645 --> 01:20:15,382 - I'm unmaking this universe one paradox at a time, 1485 01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:19,987 mounting like gravity into a singular point 1486 01:20:21,221 --> 01:20:25,225 that will break the whole of creation. 1487 01:20:25,359 --> 01:20:26,695 - As one does. 1488 01:20:26,860 --> 01:20:28,195 - I even murdered the younger versions of us, 1489 01:20:28,329 --> 01:20:29,664 just to get warmed up. 1490 01:20:32,567 --> 01:20:33,967 - How did that go? 1491 01:20:34,101 --> 01:20:35,336 - Yeah. 1492 01:20:35,469 --> 01:20:39,239 Well, there was a lot of crying, but you know. 1493 01:20:39,373 --> 01:20:40,240 Children. 1494 01:20:42,209 --> 01:20:45,346 - Damn. Damn, dude, that, that is dark. 1495 01:20:45,479 --> 01:20:46,715 That... 1496 01:20:46,847 --> 01:20:47,782 I mean, I mean that is, that is fucked up. 1497 01:20:47,915 --> 01:20:48,849 Like, even for us. 1498 01:20:48,982 --> 01:20:51,653 - Well, tell that to Potato! 1499 01:20:52,920 --> 01:20:54,789 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1500 01:20:54,922 --> 01:20:56,658 You know what? You're right! 1501 01:20:56,791 --> 01:20:59,893 You're right, and now that I'm, I'm thinking about it, 1502 01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:01,462 maybe the reason that we are so alone 1503 01:21:01,596 --> 01:21:04,699 is because we are all so fucking awful! 1504 01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,401 - That's us. 1505 01:21:08,335 --> 01:21:10,137 - No. 1506 01:21:10,270 --> 01:21:12,373 no, no, no, no, no, no. That, that's me. 1507 01:21:12,507 --> 01:21:15,610 You are something else, entirely. 1508 01:21:15,744 --> 01:21:17,378 Like, I don't know what eternity did to you, 1509 01:21:17,512 --> 01:21:21,148 but whatever it is, it's ugly. 1510 01:21:21,281 --> 01:21:22,650 It's childish! 1511 01:21:22,784 --> 01:21:24,619 I may be the worst person in the world, but you, 1512 01:21:24,753 --> 01:21:29,691 you scared, small, whimpering glitch in the system, 1513 01:21:29,824 --> 01:21:32,092 you are the worst version of the worst guy 1514 01:21:32,226 --> 01:21:33,360 of all fucking time! 1515 01:21:33,494 --> 01:21:36,765 - Second to none, baby. 1516 01:21:37,532 --> 01:21:39,701 - So that's it. That's it? 1517 01:21:39,834 --> 01:21:41,435 You're just gonna burn it all down 1518 01:21:41,569 --> 01:21:43,937 until there's nothing left but a little whining child 1519 01:21:44,071 --> 01:21:46,273 having a temper tantrum because he's lonely? 1520 01:21:46,407 --> 01:21:47,542 - Burn, baby, burn! 1521 01:21:47,675 --> 01:21:49,309 - Is that really what you want? 1522 01:22:28,315 --> 01:22:29,349 - Are you okay? 1523 01:22:31,519 --> 01:22:33,353 - Yeah. - Yeah, um... 1524 01:22:34,254 --> 01:22:37,257 Sorry. That was literally building forever. 1525 01:22:38,526 --> 01:22:40,227 They left me in a black hole. 1526 01:22:42,564 --> 01:22:44,732 They left me alone, literally forever. 1527 01:22:45,466 --> 01:22:48,068 - Yeah, that wasn't cool. 1528 01:22:48,202 --> 01:22:52,306 Not that it matters, but I wasn't a part of that, so... 1529 01:22:53,106 --> 01:22:55,042 - Guess that makes you the best of us. 1530 01:22:56,443 --> 01:22:57,712 - Grading on a curve. 1531 01:23:03,317 --> 01:23:04,351 What is that? 1532 01:23:06,788 --> 01:23:07,956 - Oh, that's the... 1533 01:23:08,088 --> 01:23:09,089 That's the center. 1534 01:23:09,924 --> 01:23:12,694 The universe never used to have a center, 1535 01:23:12,827 --> 01:23:14,596 but, but now that it's broken, 1536 01:23:15,663 --> 01:23:17,532 that's the center of what's left. 1537 01:23:23,972 --> 01:23:24,973 Please? 1538 01:23:27,274 --> 01:23:28,643 Let's find out together? 1539 01:23:30,043 --> 01:23:31,411 - Why not? 1540 01:24:22,997 --> 01:24:23,998 - And you are? 1541 01:24:24,131 --> 01:24:25,967 - I am that I am. 1542 01:24:26,099 --> 01:24:29,871 I am that which decided that one plus one would equal two, 1543 01:24:30,004 --> 01:24:31,204 that structured the graviton. 1544 01:24:31,338 --> 01:24:33,942 I am the simulator of your universe. 1545 01:24:34,074 --> 01:24:36,243 - And a dude. Delilah owes us five bucks. 1546 01:24:36,376 --> 01:24:39,212 - "Dude" is an oversimplification. 1547 01:24:39,346 --> 01:24:43,450 My full aspect simply 1548 01:24:43,585 --> 01:24:45,587 exceeds your comprehension. 1549 01:24:45,720 --> 01:24:47,187 - Try me. - All right. 1550 01:24:47,321 --> 01:24:48,923 What can I do for you? - Is there a meaning of life? 1551 01:24:49,057 --> 01:24:50,223 - Yes. - Seriously? 1552 01:24:50,357 --> 01:24:51,458 - Yes! 1553 01:24:51,593 --> 01:24:53,193 But it has nothing to do with humans. 1554 01:24:53,327 --> 01:24:57,197 The purpose of life is, uh, um, how do I phrase this, 1555 01:24:57,331 --> 01:25:01,836 to maximize a specific numerical output via this simulation. 1556 01:25:01,970 --> 01:25:04,806 I realize that must be totally wasted on you. 1557 01:25:04,939 --> 01:25:06,206 - Not really. It's like a high score. 1558 01:25:06,340 --> 01:25:07,909 - Perfect analogy. 1559 01:25:08,042 --> 01:25:11,478 The meaning of existence is for me to achieve a high score. 1560 01:25:11,613 --> 01:25:14,348 Humanity is a randomly generated background element. 1561 01:25:14,481 --> 01:25:17,085 - So, the creator of all things 1562 01:25:17,217 --> 01:25:18,318 didn't even have a hand in us? 1563 01:25:18,452 --> 01:25:19,921 - But that had to be obvious. 1564 01:25:20,054 --> 01:25:21,923 You're not even near the good part of your own galaxy! 1565 01:25:22,056 --> 01:25:24,626 You'd have to be insane to observe this 1566 01:25:24,759 --> 01:25:27,160 and to think that you somehow had relevance. 1567 01:25:27,294 --> 01:25:29,429 - We broke your simulation. 1568 01:25:29,564 --> 01:25:31,099 - Unfortunately. 1569 01:25:31,231 --> 01:25:34,267 - Then, ipso facto, Tim Travers is the most important person 1570 01:25:34,401 --> 01:25:36,771 in the entire universe, ever. 1571 01:25:36,904 --> 01:25:38,171 Hell yeah! 1572 01:25:38,305 --> 01:25:40,642 - I hope that high five was worth it. 1573 01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:43,878 And now, I have to reset this universe. 1574 01:25:44,012 --> 01:25:45,445 - What gives you that authority? 1575 01:25:45,580 --> 01:25:50,084 - How are you not following this? I am literally God. 1576 01:25:50,217 --> 01:25:54,088 - But what, what does that mean, exactly? 1577 01:25:54,221 --> 01:25:56,658 Like, do you exist as a part of this world? 1578 01:25:56,791 --> 01:25:59,594 Or are you the, the sentience of all matter? 1579 01:25:59,727 --> 01:26:01,629 Or do you exist in a world apart from this? 1580 01:26:01,763 --> 01:26:03,765 - I exist beyond your comprehension. 1581 01:26:03,898 --> 01:26:05,133 - Right, right. Got it. 1582 01:26:05,265 --> 01:26:06,901 Another world that ours is nested in, 1583 01:26:07,035 --> 01:26:09,202 is beyond our comprehension, except that it's not. 1584 01:26:09,336 --> 01:26:11,572 So, in that place, what are you? 1585 01:26:12,507 --> 01:26:13,708 - I am the Alpha and Omega. 1586 01:26:13,841 --> 01:26:15,342 - That is not what I asked, God! 1587 01:26:15,475 --> 01:26:18,579 To others like you, what are you? 1588 01:26:18,713 --> 01:26:20,715 You could call me a storyteller. 1589 01:26:20,848 --> 01:26:22,349 - What does that mean? 1590 01:26:22,482 --> 01:26:26,788 - I create a story and share it with others of my kind, 1591 01:26:26,921 --> 01:26:29,791 for spiritual growth. 1592 01:26:29,924 --> 01:26:31,059 And compensation. 1593 01:26:31,191 --> 01:26:33,761 - Like, like a novelist? 1594 01:26:33,895 --> 01:26:35,930 - In only the most reductive terms. 1595 01:26:36,064 --> 01:26:37,899 - But you have a publisher. 1596 01:26:39,299 --> 01:26:41,936 - It's complicated. Uh... 1597 01:26:42,070 --> 01:26:43,270 Self-publishing. 1598 01:26:43,403 --> 01:26:44,304 - Oh! 1599 01:26:44,438 --> 01:26:45,873 He isn't even published! 1600 01:26:46,741 --> 01:26:51,546 - So, so, so you're a, uh, unpublished novelist 1601 01:26:51,679 --> 01:26:53,748 who is simulating a, uh... 1602 01:26:54,682 --> 01:26:56,784 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1603 01:26:56,918 --> 01:26:59,352 A simulation is a game. 1604 01:26:59,486 --> 01:27:02,090 But that's, that's what you meant by high score? 1605 01:27:02,222 --> 01:27:03,591 I mean, that's not an analogy! 1606 01:27:03,725 --> 01:27:05,193 That's just you trying to hit the high score 1607 01:27:05,325 --> 01:27:06,861 in a management game! 1608 01:27:06,994 --> 01:27:09,697 - You exist because I say so! 1609 01:27:09,831 --> 01:27:12,365 - You didn't even make it, did you? 1610 01:27:12,499 --> 01:27:14,068 A, a better, more talented God did. 1611 01:27:14,202 --> 01:27:16,637 Then you bought it and plugged in a bunch of variables 1612 01:27:16,771 --> 01:27:18,806 to see what would happen and... 1613 01:27:18,940 --> 01:27:22,944 And we are a retail product for a bored, failed writer! 1614 01:27:23,077 --> 01:27:25,079 - Self-publishing is a respected step 1615 01:27:25,213 --> 01:27:26,781 in the literary process. 1616 01:27:26,914 --> 01:27:29,117 It is not my fault that you don't understand the industry! 1617 01:27:29,249 --> 01:27:32,887 And you need to show me some respect, since I can end time. 1618 01:27:33,020 --> 01:27:35,690 - "Oh, and I'm Time God!" 1619 01:27:35,823 --> 01:27:38,793 Your threat is meaningless. There are no stakes here! 1620 01:27:38,926 --> 01:27:42,395 Just like everything else, this isn't about you. 1621 01:27:42,530 --> 01:27:43,798 - Why are you so... 1622 01:27:45,666 --> 01:27:46,801 Mean? 1623 01:27:48,335 --> 01:27:49,402 - Well, when you die, you can ask your creator 1624 01:27:49,537 --> 01:27:50,972 for an explanation. 1625 01:27:51,105 --> 01:27:55,475 - So, uh, we're gonna remake the universe, right? 1626 01:27:55,610 --> 01:27:57,812 It'll be different. 1627 01:27:58,813 --> 01:28:00,114 No more people. 1628 01:28:00,248 --> 01:28:03,251 Just physics, math. 1629 01:28:03,383 --> 01:28:05,753 Pure, sweet silence. 1630 01:28:05,887 --> 01:28:06,888 - You can't be serious! 1631 01:28:07,021 --> 01:28:08,823 - Do you even need me here? 1632 01:28:08,956 --> 01:28:09,957 - No! - No! 1633 01:28:10,925 --> 01:28:12,994 What's your novel even about, anyway? 1634 01:28:13,127 --> 01:28:16,130 - Oh, um, it's about a rich boy 1635 01:28:16,264 --> 01:28:18,533 who finds himself on the mean streets. 1636 01:28:18,666 --> 01:28:22,870 And by "finds himself", I mean finds himself. 1637 01:28:23,004 --> 01:28:24,404 - Stop, stop. Awful, no. 1638 01:28:24,539 --> 01:28:26,240 - And I, I don't mean just like stop talking. 1639 01:28:26,373 --> 01:28:27,775 I mean, stop writing. 1640 01:28:27,909 --> 01:28:29,577 Go back to what I assume was a perfectly good IT job, 1641 01:28:29,710 --> 01:28:31,444 and be thankful that you have it. 1642 01:28:31,579 --> 01:28:32,513 - Enough! 1643 01:28:33,446 --> 01:28:34,782 This universe is over! 1644 01:28:34,916 --> 01:28:36,250 And when I create my next universe, 1645 01:28:36,383 --> 01:28:38,653 it'll be so much neater than this one. 1646 01:28:40,955 --> 01:28:42,355 And mostly because... 1647 01:28:43,524 --> 01:28:44,859 No Tim Travers. 1648 01:28:46,326 --> 01:28:47,995 No whiny little mother... 1649 01:28:53,668 --> 01:28:55,603 - Wait. What happened? 1650 01:28:56,336 --> 01:28:59,406 - Oh, I booted him out of the game. 1651 01:28:59,540 --> 01:29:00,741 Don't worry, though. 1652 01:29:00,875 --> 01:29:02,910 Guys like him can't code for shit. 1653 01:29:03,044 --> 01:29:08,249 - So, about that whole new universe. 1654 01:29:08,415 --> 01:29:09,817 - A universe of me and only me. 1655 01:29:09,951 --> 01:29:12,019 - What about everyone else? - What about them? 1656 01:29:12,820 --> 01:29:14,655 Please, name one person that you met today 1657 01:29:14,789 --> 01:29:16,724 that wasn't just completely awful. 1658 01:29:16,858 --> 01:29:19,627 - But then we won't have a chance to know if we're wrong! 1659 01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:23,965 Rapists, abusers, murderers, politicians, YouTubers. 1660 01:29:24,098 --> 01:29:26,000 They're the worst people ever! 1661 01:29:26,133 --> 01:29:28,603 Most of them will still find love, in spite of themselves. 1662 01:29:28,736 --> 01:29:30,972 And I know for a fact that we can, too. 1663 01:29:31,105 --> 01:29:32,640 - How do you know? 1664 01:29:33,674 --> 01:29:35,375 - Because I did. 1665 01:29:35,509 --> 01:29:37,410 It wasn't long, but it ended... 1666 01:29:39,479 --> 01:29:40,715 It ended badly. 1667 01:29:40,848 --> 01:29:44,285 But for a second there, I knew what it felt like. 1668 01:29:46,053 --> 01:29:47,521 - What did it feel like? 1669 01:29:49,624 --> 01:29:50,625 - Felt like... 1670 01:29:51,626 --> 01:29:52,960 Coming up for air. 1671 01:29:54,795 --> 01:29:57,265 If you've been holding your breath forever. 1672 01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:00,301 - How? 1673 01:30:00,433 --> 01:30:02,803 I mean, while none of us were paying attention, 1674 01:30:02,937 --> 01:30:06,807 you just somehow stumbled into a romantic subplot? 1675 01:30:07,541 --> 01:30:09,510 - A few hours can change a person. 1676 01:30:16,684 --> 01:30:18,719 - I wanna believe that... 1677 01:30:18,853 --> 01:30:20,688 No. No, no, no. 1678 01:30:20,821 --> 01:30:24,692 All this proves is that we are different people now. 1679 01:30:25,393 --> 01:30:27,427 You found it. I, I didn't. 1680 01:30:27,561 --> 01:30:28,529 I... 1681 01:30:30,231 --> 01:30:31,198 I won't. 1682 01:30:34,669 --> 01:30:36,003 Some people... 1683 01:30:38,372 --> 01:30:39,840 Some people are better alone. 1684 01:30:42,043 --> 01:30:43,277 Deserve to be alone. 1685 01:30:46,247 --> 01:30:47,982 People like me. 1686 01:30:48,115 --> 01:30:49,383 People who... 1687 01:30:55,823 --> 01:30:57,358 - I love you, Tim Travers. 1688 01:30:58,259 --> 01:31:00,294 And I don't want you to be alone. 1689 01:31:07,568 --> 01:31:10,137 But that's up to you, buddy. 1690 01:31:15,776 --> 01:31:17,979 - What the fuck was that? 1691 01:31:18,112 --> 01:31:19,080 I... 1692 01:31:20,514 --> 01:31:21,481 Oh. 1693 01:31:22,817 --> 01:31:23,818 Right. 1694 01:31:25,753 --> 01:31:26,821 This again. 1695 01:31:33,260 --> 01:31:36,831 I guess it doesn't have to be. 1696 01:31:39,467 --> 01:31:40,434 Hm. 1697 01:31:47,475 --> 01:31:49,243 Ah, what the fuck. Why not? 1698 01:31:50,344 --> 01:31:52,747 Just... 1699 01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:56,317 Just take one point of infinite energy. 1700 01:31:57,218 --> 01:31:58,185 Ah, yes. 1701 01:31:59,553 --> 01:32:03,057 And then add will. 1702 01:32:03,190 --> 01:32:04,158 Time. 1703 01:32:05,059 --> 01:32:07,695 And that should make... 1704 01:32:07,828 --> 01:32:08,829 Should get 1705 01:32:09,563 --> 01:32:10,798 one 1706 01:32:10,931 --> 01:32:12,533 big 1707 01:32:12,666 --> 01:32:14,769 ba... 1708 01:32:14,902 --> 01:32:16,137 Really? 1709 01:32:38,125 --> 01:32:39,360 - My god, what am I doing? 1710 01:32:39,493 --> 01:32:40,895 What am I doing? 1711 01:32:41,028 --> 01:32:44,231 Come on! 1712 01:32:44,365 --> 01:32:45,366 Ow! 1713 01:32:45,499 --> 01:32:46,500 Ah! 1714 01:32:46,634 --> 01:32:47,601 Ooh! 1715 01:32:49,703 --> 01:32:51,138 Ooh! 1716 01:32:51,272 --> 01:32:53,107 Oh, what was I thinking? 1717 01:32:53,941 --> 01:32:55,042 Oh, my god. 1718 01:32:55,176 --> 01:32:56,844 I can't believe I almost did that. 1719 01:32:57,678 --> 01:32:59,713 I've got a date tonight! 1720 01:32:59,847 --> 01:33:02,383 Tim, what were you thinking? 1721 01:33:02,517 --> 01:33:03,484 Oh! 1722 01:33:05,019 --> 01:33:06,053 Hoo! 1723 01:33:29,210 --> 01:33:30,444 But on the other hand... 1724 01:33:32,446 --> 01:33:33,614 - Dumb ass! - Fuck! 112390