All language subtitles for The.White.Lotus.S03E02.720p.x264-FENiX

I'm just so happy we're
all in the same place.

I mean, talking on the
phone is just not the same.

You can't really
make new memories

when you just have
dinner twice a year.

I know. I don't even think

I've seen Laurie
in like four years.

- She seems great.
- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.
- She looks great.

Mm-hmm.

She's always had so much energy.

I mean, she's always just
been such a hard charger.

I love her. Hmm.

- She's such a great girl.
- Mmm.

- Great friend.
- Mm-hmm.

Sounded like that divorce
got pretty gnarly.

- Yeah.
- That's gotta be hard.

She had to pay him
palimony, right?

- So ridiculous. Why?
- To that loser?

Can you imagine? I
mean, I'd be furious.

After he freeloaded
off of her for years.

And I guess the whole
thing's been, you know,

really hard on Ellie,

- which is so sad...
- Aw, no.

...because she was such
an adorable little girl.

My God. She was so cute.
I wanted to steal her.

But I guess she's
turned into a real...

Yeah.

What?

Apparently, she's been
kicked out of two schools.

- No.
- She's like a hitter.

- She's a bruiser.
- Oh, no.

- She throws furniture.
- What?

You have to wonder
about these people

who insist on raising
their kids in New York.

I mean, what are they thinking?

Honestly. The kids can't play.

There's no childhood.

They're all, like,
sucking each other off

at, like, eight years old.

I am sure they're doing
that in Texas too, Kate.

But, you know,
Laurie's work is there.

She's always defined
herself by her work,

so I guess it's
good she has that.

What?

Don't you remember
how she was talking

about how she was gonna
get that big promotion?

Was she?

Yeah, they were gonna
make her partner.

What are you saying?

I'm saying I don't
think it happened.

No?

I think she's kind
of stalled out there.

- Oh, no.
- I know.

Laurie.

I mean, you devote your
whole life to one firm?

The world's brutal.

No wonder she looks defeated.

I thought you said
she looked great.

Well... she does.

But she also looks tired.

- Don't you think?
- Mm-hmm.

- A little down?
- Might be the drinking.

She did drink like a
whole bottle tonight.

Mmm. More than that.

Mmm. I just love her so much.

I do, too. I just
worry about her.

Oh my God!

Laurie! Jesus,
Mary, and Joseph!

Sorry. Oh my God.

What are you do... What is...

- It's locked. It's locked.
- Oh!

Oh my gosh. Did...

- I... Did I lock it?
- What, did I scare you guys?

- Yes, you scared us.
- I left my, um...

I left my bag with my charger.

We were just talking about you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

How long it's been since
I've actually seen you.

- Just... how great you look.
- Aw. Thank you.

Yeah, and how excited I am
to get to be able to spend

the whole week with
you all to myself.

- Yeah.
- Well, you're gonna have

- to share her with me.
- Oh, I know.

Love you.

You guys, I can't
even believe it.

All right. Good night.

I'll see you in the
morning. Love you.

- Love you.
- Good night.

Okay, do you need me
to walk you to...?

- No, no.
- You got it?

- Yes.
- Are you sure?

Yes. Okay.

Maybe text me when
you get to your room.

Oh my God. That scared
the shit out of me.

I thought it was a monkey.

Where the fuck am I?

Okay, Thailand. Let's do this.

Mm-hmm.

Where is this goddamn coffee?
It's gotta be 15 minutes.

Hey, excuse me,
we ordered coffee?

Yes. I get it right away.

Thanks. Did you not
get enough sleep?

No.

You should have
taken my Lorazepam.

I slept like a corpse.

Well, you know I don't
like taking drugs.

You know, I'm like you, Dad.

I don't like taking
drugs either.

What are you talking about?
You take Adderall all day.

So I can get shit done, yeah.

Yeah, and steroids.

No.

- Dad, really?
- Hmm?

- Come on.
- Piper.

It's a call I cannot miss, okay?

We come all the way here
for you and your thesis,

so make some concessions
for the rest of us.

Okay, but I didn't choose
to stay at this hotel.

Well, we chose it 'cause
it's your kind of thing.

No, it's not.

It's like a Disneyland for
rich bohemians from Malibu

in their Lululemon yoga pants.

- Um, sorry.
- Hey.

Hi. I'm sorry.

Um, this is really bothering me.

Is your name Victoria?

Mmm. Hmm?

I saw you on the boat
yesterday, and I was like,

"I've met her somewhere,"
and I think I've placed it.

- Mmm.
- Do you know Claire Popovich?

Mmm. Yes. I do.

You and I

were at a baby shower
in Austin together.

Kate Bohr. Claire is one of
my great friends in Austin,

and yeah, we spent
a weekend together!

Hi.

Yes.

But do you remember meeting me?

Yeah, your hair, your... your
hair was different, right?

Well, maybe, maybe. Maybe.

Um, these are my friends.

This is Jaclyn and Laurie.

- Hi.
- Hey. What's up?

Gosh, it's such a
small world, isn't it?

I just saw Claire
right before I left.

If I talk to her, I'll
tell her you said hello.

Okay, well, you all
enjoy your vacation.

You too.

I'll leave you be.
Bye. Nice to meet you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I don't think she remembers you.

Jaclyn, we spent a
whole weekend together.

I mean, a whole weekend.

Am I not memorable?

I mean, who cares? She
seems a little crazy.

Mom?

- Why were you like that?
- Like what?

- You were... kind of rude.
- No, I wasn't.

- You were pretty standoffish, at least.
- Well... Oh, please.

What does she want from me?

We met at a baby
shower ten years ago.

I mean, so what? Who cares?

Well, I... I think
she was just trying

to be friendly and say hi.

I'm on vacation with my
family. I don't know her.

- Her friend is Jaclyn Lemon.
- Mmm. Who's that?

- She's an actress.
- Mmm.

- She's famous.
- Well, should I be impressed?

Actresses are all
basically prostitutes.

If they're lucky. Am I right?

- Sawatdee kha.
- Hey, Mook!

I just want to
confirm this morning

we have a body scrub and
waxing for Miss Chelsea.

Yep, amazing.

And for Khun Rick, a
stress management session

with Dr. Amrita.

No. No, I d... I didn't
sign up for that.

Yeah, I did. You need it.

Well, I'm not going to
do it. So, cancel it.

No, thank you. Okay?

No, you can't cancel it.

It's too late to cancel. We'll
have to pay for it anyway.

Thank you.

Well, Amrita is wonderful.
Everyone loves her.

Yeah, they love her, Rick.
She's the best they have.

I'll bet.

He's really looking
forward to it.

Okay. Well... Well,
enjoy your treatments

- and see you later.
- Thanks.

She's too sweet.

Hey, I made a friend last night.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

When you were hiding from me.

I wasn't hiding from you.

Anyway, she's super
cool. We met at the bar.

She lives in a house on top of
the hill with her boyfriend.

He must be loaded. She's
invited us for dinner.

And I said yes.

No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No, no.

You're going to have
loads in common with him.

- Yeah, like what?
- You're both old.

Nice.

I mean, he's your age.

Oh, and he's bald.
And you're going bald.

I'm not going bald.

Okay.

The flowers.

Yeah. We should have
more colorful flowers.

- Oh.
- Sawatdee khrap.

- Oh. Oh, hi.
- Mm-hmm.

How did you sleep?

- Great.
- Great. Yeah.

Awesome.

- Wonderful.
- Yeah, great.

This morning, I'm
going to give you

- your biomarker tests.
- Oh.

And based on the results, we
will come up with protocols

for each of you.

- Uh-oh.
- Fantastic.

I look forward to
working with you ladies.

- I'll see you soon.
- Okay.

Thank you, Valentin. Phew!

See you at the spa.

Somebody's got to try that,

and you're the only one
who's single. Laurie?

No.

Come on. Laurie, he's cute.

What?

- Shut up!
- Gee, Laurie! That's it!

That's the spirit!

It's Cancun all over again.

- No, no, no!
- Yes, it is.

- No.
- It's Cancun. It's Cancun.

Sawatdee kha.

- Hey, hey.
- Hmm?

Um, I have schedules

for everyone based on
speaking with Mr. Ratliff

and your own requests.

- Oh, a sports massage. Nice.
- Oh, this looks great.

Mr. Ratliff, I didn't book you

in anything because you
said that you just wanted

to go to the gym. Is that...?

Killing it, Pam. All right.

Hey, guys. Y'all
have a great day.

I'll see you later.

- Thank you, darling.
- Have a lovely day.

- See you, Dad.
- Bye.

So, I thought today,
to begin our exchange,

I could give you my
signature treatment,

the warrior massage.

I'm not going say no to that.

And then maybe after lunch,

you could give me your
signature treatment,

and then, we discuss.

But let's let our hands
do the talking first.

Yes. Oh. The...

- I like you, Pornchai.
- This way.

Yeah, sometimes with massages,
I can get very stressed out,

and I just feel kind
of claustrophobic.

These help me to really relax.

Hmm.

Whoo!

Inhale and reach up. Arms up.

Exhale, opening up,
warrior 2, hips forwards,

the right arm sends the
fingers out to the side.

Long breath out.

Inhale, left elbow, left knee.

The right arm reaches
over and above your head.

Exhale, both hands
down to the mat.

Inhale to lift your chest.

And exhale, step back,
downward-facing dog.

Hey.

Hey, it's me. Sorry
to call so late.

Just checking in. Did...
did Kenny Nguyen call?

No, he still hasn't.

Really? Weaselly fucker.

All right. Look,
he's got my cell,

but if he calls the
office tomorrow,

just put him through.
Doesn't matter what time

it is here. I... I
really gotta talk to him.

Someone did call from the
Washington Post, though.

You mean the Wall
Street Journal?

No, no. He said the
Washington Post.

He was being very pushy.
He said it was urgent.

I'll send his info
with all your calls

- in an email.
- Well, did... Did he s...

Mr. Ratliff, I'm
sorry, but you gotta...

Yeah, just put
everything in the email

- and send it to me ASAP.
- Will do.

Thanks.

Are you sure you don't want to
be free of that for the week?

I think, you know, it
could be quite a relief.

I'm sure it would be a relief
if you stopped asking me.

Okay. Say no more.

So, how the current is
conducted tells us a lot

about what's going
on in your body.

- What, like shock treatment?
- No. Maybe just a little tickle.

Okay.

- Okay. Female.
- Hmm.

And here's the milk soap.

Mmm!

Sea salt, to scrub the feet.

Feels so good.

Your numbers are very good.

Markers could be of a
woman half your age.

- Shut up. Really?
- Very good numbers.

Please, tell me more.

Okay.

Whoa.

In the Enneagram, I'm a nine.
I'm easygoing, peacemaker.

But it also means
I'm quite complacent,

which isn't always good.
Hey, you're probably a two.

Yeah. Most healers are twos.

Tell me. How do you feel today?

I don't know.

Your level of stress,
would you say out of ten,

one being no stress at all,
ten extremely stressed?

I'm going to say an eight.

You're always at eight?

Weed helps, but I don't
want to travel with it.

You wouldn't happen to
know if there's a great

weed shop nearby?

Can you remember a
time in your life

when you were totally
free of stress?

As a child even.

Well... ...my mother
was a drug addict.

She OD'd when I was ten, so...

And your father?

I never knew him. He
died before I was born.

He was, um... ...murdered.

Yeah, yeah.

Real fun shit to
talk about, right?

Meditation can bring
relief... to psychic pain.

Meditation helps you see that
the identity you've created

brings you suffering.

I never had an identity.

I don't need to detach.
I'm already nothing.

Even nothing can be an
illusion you tell yourself.

If nobody puts gas in the
tank, the tank is empty.

That's not an illusion.
The car won't start.

Nothing comes from
nothing, right?

Hello. I'm calling
from Villa Four.

And we all just
had our treatments.

I had a wonderful
massage from Hans.

And I was hoping we could
order some tea to the room

and maybe some finger foods
like "tom ka ti ta lay."

Um, maybe some "kai
yang plu bai cha plu.

Kai yang plu bai cha plu."

Saxon, what's with
the racket, honey?

I'm on the phone.

And finally,

some "pad Thai goong mae
nam." Mmm, thank you.

Saxon. I just had a massage.

You're setting me back.

How can you be so hyper?
I thought you had one too.

Yeah, but it kind of sucked.

- Why? What was wrong with it?
- It had no happy ending.

- Ugh!
- Gross.

What? Aren't they all supposed
to be a little speshy-speshy?

Ugh! Ah!

Saxon, stop it!

Lochy, how was deprivation tank?

- It was quiet.
- Come on.

What are you looking for?

A blender for my
protein shakes, Mom.

Just call the butler
and ask for one, honey.

Hey, Lochy, we gotta get
you in on this stuff.

Does it taste good?

No, it tastes like
crap. Who cares?

It's not about the taste.
It's about the pump.

Come on. Hey, Dad!

How's the gym? Do they
have a rowing machine?

- Timothy?
- Yeah?

- Is everything okay?
- No. No, it's not. I d...

We're on the antipodal
opposite ends of the Earth

from humanity here. It's
why nobody comes here.

It's day here. It's night there.
It's night here. It's day there.

I can't get anybody
on the phone.

Who do you need
to get a hold of?

I'm just saying that
the time difference

is aggravating, you know?

Poor guy. He works so hard.
He needs to calm his ass down.

And this won't be like
your warrior massage.

You won't be screaming
out in agony.

But, I don't know,
people seem to like it.

It's popular.

So, how would you like me?

Uh, on my back or on my stomach?

On my stomach... Not my stomach.

My stomach, your
s... Your stomach.

Okay.

There you go.

Ja.

Tam mai?

Por, por, por, por.

So, how was the lady?

She seemed really, like... wise.

Why? 'Cause she's Indian?

Yeah, Rick, because
she was Indian,

and all Indians are wise.

She made me sign
up again, but...

...no fucking way
I'm gonna do that.

Why not?

Come on. It's good to talk
about things with a wise Indian.

You think you've got
it all figured out?

I don't think so.

Hmm.

God, you're so shut down.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

And you are an idiot.

Hey, girl.

Oh, hey.

Hi, I'm Chloe.

You must be Rick, right?
I've heard all about you.

He's so jet-lagged.

- And he has a migraine.
- Of course.

We're going to hang out so
you can have a nap. Okay?

Yeah.

Okay, let's go.

Love you.

Vamos a la playa, chica.

Laurie, how was your
session with Valentin?

He said all my numbers were
really good. I was shocked.

Yeah. Yeah, my hydration
level was one of the highest

he's ever seen, which is cool.

What was your water
level, Laurie?

I'd have to look, but
he said that my fat mass

was under 25 percent, which
I guess is pretty good.

Mmm. That's really
good. Is that right?

- That's what he said.
- Wow.

You seem surprised.

No! That was about
the same as mine.

Oh.

Yeah, he said I had the
numbers of someone half my age,

which, I don't know,
immediately, I was like,

can you please put
that in writing

and send that to everyone I've
ever met in my entire life?

He might say that to everybody.
He said the same thing to me.

Did he?

Well, he didn't say it to me.
He said my numbers are average,

so I'm just... average, I guess.

Look, I'm sure living in Austin,
the food is probably fattier.

- Butter and... steak.
- No, no, no. There's...

There's healthy food in Austin.
I mean, I eat mostly chicken.

For protein, I eat chicken.

I eat turkey. I like beans.
I used to hate beans,

but now I eat a lot of beans.

One day, I just decided to
trick my mind into liking beans,

and now I do.

You know, I just
have to eat healthy.

You know, it's a part of my job.

- Right.
- Mm-hmm.

And if I weren't
neurotic enough,

now I'm married to a guy
who's ten years younger,

and he's always getting hit on.

His body is crazy.

Harrison and I are, like,
addicted to each other.

- It's kind of a problem.
- Yeah.

Well, you've only been
married for a year, so...

Oh, I don't think I'm ever
gonna get tired of it.

- Oh.
- Wow.

Great.

Yeah.

Rick's quite cute
for an older guy.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

He's rude. Sorry. Don't
take it personally.

Oh my God. Don't
even apologize.

Gary's so rude.

He was such a dick last night.

This morning, I was like,
"You know what, Gary?

Sorry isn't good enough.
I want the credit card."

The store here has
some really cute stuff.

- Do you want to come with me?
- Yeah.

Hey, what's up?

What's going on?

God, he's such a douche.

He was on the boat with us.
He's from a family of wankers.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Cute.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Did you meditate in the tank?

I did try to pray.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

How'd it go?

I felt like I was just
talking to myself.

Hmm.

You never feel, like,
a presence or anything?

I do.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Don't you feel like that could
just be, like, wishful thinking?

Like, you want to feel
something, so you...

It's real.

Saxon says you've never had sex.

Okay, and how
would he know that?

He doesn't know what I do.

Also, why would he say that?

Like... like, why would
that even come up?

Like, in what context?

Well, he was just saying
it's like... It's weird

because you're so hot,
but you've never had sex.

It's like a... like a
compliment about you.

Please don't bring it up.

He shouldn't be talking
about me like that.

It's not that bad.
It's not a big deal.

Okay, well, he should
mind his own business.

Freak.

- Have you, though?
- Really?

- It was just a question.
- Seriously?

Ugh.

Ooh, can I see this
snake choker thing?

- Sure.
- Thank you. Khop khun kha.

I'm going to try these
on. What do you think?

- Yeah.
- It's nice, right?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Tok. Wa nai, nong chai?

Hey, Valentin. Sabai dee mai?

Yeah, you good?

Gonna go see the fights.

Hey.

- You look like Buakaw.
- Buakaw?

I like your moves, Tok.

Oh, thank you.

Uh...

There's a very big
fight on Friday.

One of my friends is fighting.

I can get you a ticket.

- Get me a ticket?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

Let's go.

Shh. Get back!

- Oh my God.
- Quiet. Go. Open it.

Open it!

No, I can't.

Quiet.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

Oh my God. What just happened?
Oh my God. What should we do?

What the fuck was that?

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Ja.

But the one time something
exciting happens around here,

I miss the whole thing.

No, trust me. You're
lucky. I almost died.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

Oh, but we got the room comped,

didn't we, babes? That was cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
did a great job, babe.

Khun Sritala, you will
see, she's incredible.

She... She is really,
truly a legend.

And... and she encourages us
all to make healthy choices

and to develop
our artistic side.

All the performers
tonight are staff.

Really?

- Yeah.
- That's amazing.

Even I have started
to write songs.

I'm learning piano.

Ooh! So what night are you
going to be performing? Hm?

- Okay.
- Huh?

- No. No. No.
- Yeah?

- I can't. I can't.
- Come on.

It would be, uh, crazy.
I w... I wouldn't dare.

- Come on, get up there.
- Do it!

Uh, I... I... I'm the
boss. So, uh... Uh, maybe.

Maybe one day.

- Yes, thank you so much.
- May I take the plates, please?

Yeah, yeah. We're all done.

- You girls are gorgeous.
- Thank you.

- Great skin.
- Kha.

Excuse me. Thank you.

- Khop khun kha.
- Khop khun kha.

Dad, are they women?

Ladyboys? Maybe.

Well, you know what they say.

Having sex in Thailand

is like eating a
box of chocolates.

You never know which
one's gonna have nuts.

Exactly.

- What? What?
- Oh, Piper.

You know, it's getting old.

Oh my God. What's your problem?

For one, stay out
of my personal life.

What are you even talking about?

All right. Just
settle down, okay?

Just try to get along.

Because you need
your family. You do.

Most people don't
have good values.

They're scammers.

You're all gorgeous,
and you come for money.

So, you have to be
hypervigilant, okay?

You're have to be on your guard.

So, uh, you've been living
here for a whole year.

Wow. What do you do?

I'm retired.

What did you do
before you retired?

Uh... This and that.

What about you? What do you do?

Well, the same thing
that you do, Gary.

This and that.

You meet a lot of people
here who do this and that.

Decent line of work.

It can be.

My brothers used
to terrorize me.

You know, your Uncle Babe
would fly out of nowhere,

pin me to the ground,
hock up a string of spit,

dangle it between my eyes

till he'd finally
suck it back up.

Ew.

I mean...

I hated him for years,

but of course now,
we're very close.

Really, Tim?

All right. I'm gonna
call you right back.

Stay there, okay? Don't move.

Oh, God.

- Ugh.
- I gotta take this.

Okay.

So, what about the two
of you? Where'd you meet?

Uh, in Dubai.

Mm-hmm. Through a
matchmaking service.

- Matchmaking service?
- Mm-hmm.

Wow, really?

- Interesting.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we're different.
Different ages. I'm American.

She's French. But we get along.

What are you talking about?

- What?
- I'm not French.

What do you mean?

I'm from Quebec. It's
not the same thing.

You know, I... I'm Canadian.

French, French
Canadian. Whatever.

Whatever?

I mean, there's only an ocean
between the two countries,

but whatever.

Okay, why do you have
to be such a stickler

about everything? It's...

- A stickler? Okay.
- French...

I appreciate the geography
lesson, but, um...

Well, clearly, you needed it.

- What are you t...
- Okay.

- Wow.
- Is he in a loincloth?

Uh-huh.

So pretty.

Why is the Wall Street Journal
calling me, Kenny? Huh?

I don't care about
the fucking story!

Why not?

Because 20 agents just
raided my fucking office!

- Fuck me, I'm done.
- Oh, sh... Is... Is it... Is...

I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

Just tell me what happened.

I can't go to
fucking prison. God.

Can you... Just... Fuck.

You know, you told me
this couldn't happen.

Remember that?

You fucking swore that
this could not happen.

I didn't think some
whistleblower bitch

in my office was gonna
rat me out to the media.

Fucking FBI!

- Fuck! Fuck me!
- All... all... all... all right.

I just... Kenny.

God, she did me so dirty.

What exactly do they know?

They have everything, Tim.

- My accounts, my emails...
- Yeah, but what...

- ...all the fucking documents.
- What did you tell them?

- What did you say, Kenny?
- Nothing!

I got a fucking lawyer.

I should have never
gone to Brunei.

I should've never
taken that position.

Everybody was making a killing.

- I figured, why not me?
- Kenny, Kenny.

Kenny! Will you shut the
fuck up for one second?

Just tell me. Am I implicated?

Yes. For sure, Tim. Yes.

What d... What... What...
What does that mean?

Like... S... For... Yes?
That's a definite yes?

That's why I bought this burner,

to call you.

You need to get a good
lawyer, like, yesterday.

You've gotta be
fucking kidding me.

You know, this was
a favor to you.

Remember that? I
didn't want to do it.

This is all you.
Now I'm wrapped up

in some fucking
money laundering,

bribery situation?

And I only made
ten million dollars

out of your stupid
fucking scheme. Fuck!

What am I gonna do?

I swear to God, Kenny,
if you fuck me on this,

I will... I will kill you.
I will fucking kill you.

You hear me?

If it makes you feel any better,

I'm gonna fucking kill myself!

Good. You do it,
you piece of shit.

Bravo!

- You're a legend!
- You're incredible.

You are a legend.
You are a legend.

- So talented.
- Thank you.

Well, once a performer
is always a performer.

Do you agree?

Yes! A hundred
percent. We know that.

Well, I'm leaving
for Bangkok tomorrow.

Oh, no!

Yeah, if you need anything,

- please let me know.
- Oh, you live in Bangkok?

Yeah, my husband's there.
We come back and forth.

Mm-hmm. He just got
out of the hospital.

- Oh.
- Oh, is he okay?

Yeah. Last week,
he had a stroke.

- Oh my God.
- What?

- He's had a few.
- Oh, no.

- He's a fighter.
- Mm-hmm.

He would love to meet you.

Awesome first day. Oh.

- Oh, it was the best first day.
- It was the best day.

- She was amazing though.
- Love you.

Totally amazing.

- You're amazing.
- Oh my God.

Oh my God. Late night reading.

- Look at this. Glowing. Sritala.
- Are you gonna...

- Are you gonna do it?
- Got my reading. Of course I'm going to do it.

I love it.

- Love you!
- Love you! Give me the Cliffs Notes.

- Ow, ow. Help me. Ow.
- Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh.

You really should
never wear heels.

I know. I know. I know.

Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?

Oh my gosh. Ooh, it's hot.

She's so funny.

Right? What a character.
A real Thai diva.

No. No, no. I meant Jaclyn...

So competitive.

Well, you know, she's
always been like that.

Yeah, but you'd think
with all her success,

she'd have mellowed out, though.

Narcissist.

A little bit.

And the vanity.

I know she has to maintain it.

- It's her career...
- Mm-hmm.

Did she sandblast her
face or something?

- It's very waxy, right?
- It's more than just the basics.

- She's still gorgeous.
- No, no, no, definitely.

Gosh, she had the
face everyone wanted.

I know.

And then the whole thing
with the husband. Right? Yes.

There's something
weird there, right?

She goes on and on.
They're so in love.

They're addicted to each other.

But I mean, are they ever
even in the same city?

I don't think they
ever see each other.

See? That's what I'm saying.

You know. I think
she's lonely.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I think it's just a front.

And you know what
they say about fronts?

What?

The bigger the front,
the bigger the back.

Right.

What?

I almost died today.

No, you didn't.

Protect me.

- Hold me.
- I am holding you.

I liked our new friends, though.
Don't you? She's so pretty.

She's a hooker.

- No, she isn't.
- Yes, she is.

They met through a
matchmaking service in Dubai.

She's a hooker.

She was a model in France.
She walked the Paris runways.

- Wow.
- Uh-huh.

Mmm.

Anyway, I told you
we'd have loads

in common with them.

She's young and fun like me,

and he's old and
grumpy like you.

I'm just kidding.

I'm glad that you made a friend.

I may have to go to
Bangkok for a night or two.

Bangkok? Why?

I just got to deal
with something.

But why now? We just got here.

Don't worry about it.

So mysterious.

I'm not.

Could you just get him
to call me, please?

He has all my numbers.

And may I ask the reason
for the call, please?

Because I need a lawyer
immediately, like yesterday.

Of course. I will
have him call you

as soon as he gets
out of the meeting.

- Okay.
- Okay? Thank you.

Okay. Thank you.

Anyway, so this one
time when, you know,

when the tsunami
in Phuket happened,

there was this little girl,
and she had just learned

about tsunamis in
her geography class,

and she starts, you know,
like, screaming to everyone,

"Oh my God, there's going to be a
tsunami, there's going to be a tsunami!"

But, you know, no one wanted
to believe her, but...

Was she like... They
didn't listen to her.

Yeah, well, so her
dad comes down...