Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(theme song)

(dramatic music)

ALL: Whoa...

It's a box fit for a king, it is.

As it should be.

We are delivering it to

the King of Space himself.

A real life king?

This could be my big chance to grovel!

(exciting music)

(fanfare)

- (grunting) - (air brake hiss)

- (dolly squeaking) - BENDER: Ooh. Swanky dump.

Your delivery, my liege.

(kissing)

Now, this guy knows how to grovel.

- Yes! - At last.

The portrait of my late wife has arrived.

Careful! It's delicate!

(loud grunting)

Infinita, Queen of Space.

Not even the finest macaroni artist

could capture your beauty.

Although this one did.

Hang it over there!

(Fry groaning excessively)

Sorry. It's my early onset sciatica.

(horn blowing)

Announcing His Royal Highness,

the Prince of Space!

Allow me to help your elderly friend.

(creaking)

(romantic music)

(sparkling)

- (thud) - Wow. This absolute stud

sure made me look like a wimp, huh, Leela?

You guys straighten that together while I explain

our loyalty punch card program to His Majesty.

(exciting music)

I still don't understand.

10 punches, and I get 10% off?

No, no. It's nothing like that.

- Let N be the number of punches. - (door opens)

(romantic music)

Leela, where were you? It's been, like, 30 minutes.

I was falling in love with the Prince of Space.

We're getting married!

(dramatic sting)

(squeaking)

I know this is very sudden, Fry.

I'll always remember the times we had

that I haven't already forgotten.

B-But, I love you!

And I can't afford to live without you!

(crying)

NARRATOR: Futurama is brought to you by...

Windos! The toy so fun,

it makes fun look like boredom!

♪ Windos, Windos ♪

♪ Wind 'em and watch 'em run ♪

♪ Windos, Windos ♪

♪ Roughly a minute of... fun ♪

(music winds down)

- (dog and cat barking) - (winding)

(upbeat music)

- Good news, Windos! - (winding)

(bumping into table)

Today, we're delivering sushi to Mrs. McDougal.

(winding)

Another job well done.

(metallic footsteps)

(yawning)

Are you okay, Fry?

Eh. I'm just a little run down.

Run down? I'm sure it's nothing,

but you should see a doctor.

Run down? I'm sure it's nothing,

but you should see a doctor.

Oh, me! Right. Let's take a listen.

(loud winding)

Dear God, no!

(sting)

Pretend you didn't hear that.

(sad music)

Are you sure, Dr. Zoidberg?

I mean, you're usually wrong.

Of course I'm sure.

Fry's mainspring is nearly wound down.

- (all gasp) - (spring boing)

Oh, dear.

It must have been all that time

Fry spent cryogenically frozen.

(mysterious music)

For 1,000 years,

he was slowly pacing

- and winding down. - (muffled clicking)

- (winding down) - (alarm ding)

- (hiss) - (Fry groaning)

Welcome to the world of Windos!

It was a one-way ticket to Oldsville!

Last exit before Deathburg!

(sad music)

(sniffling) I'm so sorry, Fry.

We'll take it day by day.

I'd suggest minute by minute.

(sniff) Well, don't be sad.

I've had a full life.

I eated. I prayed.

I loved-ed.

I'm at peace.

At peace? At peace!?

You selfish jerk!

You're my best friend!

Promise you won't leave me!

I can't help winding down.

That's crazy talk!

You need spiritual guidance!

(pipe organ music)

You gotta help him, Reverend.

Do you have any way to calm

my friend's terror of mortality!?

Can religion calm the terror of mortality?

That's our home run swing!

After you wind down, you rise up!

You spread your wings and fly around Heaven forever,

as an angel.

(sniffle) Really?

A-And we can do loop-de-loops?

Well, no, not--

Loop-de-loops, you say? Huh.

Well, maybe Fry can face death after all.

Bender, my son.

Heaven's not a actual place the way Hell is.

It's a metaphor for how the soul lives on

in the hearts of those who love us.

Metaphor? Isn't that just a fancy word

for "steaming load!?"

I wouldn't call it fancy.

(sob) Ah, Preacherbot gave me nothing!

Can no one help me!?

Well, some say there's a guru high in the--

- Some say it? Let's go! - (clicking)

(intense music)

(winding)

(whooshing)

(Fry shivering)

- (wind blowing) - I can't go much further.

Escaping from that wind-up Yeti

used most of my remaining power.

- (groan, clang) - (church bell)

(gasp) Fry!

- (winding slowing) - Goodbye, friends.

Maybe we'll meet again

- in a better metaphor. - (winding stops)

(sad music)

(gasps, struggling, groaning)

Bender, he's gone. It's over.

Never! I'm gonna give him

spring-to-spring resuscitation!

- (clang) - (dramatic music)

(grunting)

(rapid grunting)

(crescendo music)

(hopeful music)

(stops grunting)

Wha... What happened? Am I alive?

If you were dead, how could you ask such a dumb question?

You're as alive and stupid as ever.

(crew cheering)

You saved him, Bender!

You're a hero!

(weak) Shut up, baby, I know it.

(wheeze)

Are you okay, robot?

(groan) Never better!

Wound up tight and full of

- (slowing): spring... - (winding stops, click)

- (creak) - Goodbye, sweet jerks.

(clanging)

(dramatic music)

Bender! No!

(clanging)

(shatter, splash)

(gurgling, hissing)

Now, that's dead.

(sad music)

(gurgling)

Bender saved my life, and now he's gone.

What does it all mean?

It means life is meaningless.

Lesson learned! Let's hit the road.

No! I need answers!

I'm continuing up to that guru,

no matter how long the journey.

Ow!

Are you the guru of the mountain?

For a quarter, I'm a guru.

For a nickel, you get a sticker that says

you climbed the mountain.

My friend wound down and fell in a volcano.

Is that the end? Just nothingness?

I found a quarter.

(winding)

(clicking)

(winding)

Take solace, for the spirit of your friend

is eternal.

It will be reincarnated in other bodies,

- growing and learning as it goes... - (pouring)

- Some say. - (crack)

(shine)

Reincarnation?

That sounds like another big, steaming load.

Load? Perhaps.

Steaming? Perhaps not.

(propeller plane flying)

(gasp) Look!

I'm back, baby! And I'm doing loop-de-loops!

- (zooming) - Woo!

Woo!

(giggling)

Maybe, in some weird way,

the soul really is eternal.

Bite my enlightened metal ass, mortality!

I'm 40% aerodynamic!

- (beeping) - That's not aerodynamic enough!

(Bender giggling)

(yelp)

(clattering)

Eh, it's fine. He'll be something else in a minute.

NARRATOR: Collect all 293.

And now, back to our program.

(Fry crying)

Marriage? I forbid it!

She is a space commoner!

Whew. That was a close one. Let's head home, honey.

(sad music)

No. No one is head-home-honey-ing anywhere.

What? Why?

- What? - Why!?

Because Leela's not common.

She's brave and good

- and articulate. - Blah?

How can you stand in the way of true love, Your Majesty?

Space Queen Infinita would be ashamed of you.

(dramatic music)

How dare you!

- (boiling) - I've never been so angry and hungry.

(sip, smacking)

She needs salt.

My wife needs no seasoning!

I challenge you to a duel!

I accept. And if I win, the wedding is on.

And if I win, your head is off!

(dramatic music)

NARRATOR: Futurama is brought to you by...

- (tire screech) - RoundWheels!

The only toy car with wheels.

(jingle music)

♪ Go go RoundWheels ♪

♪ Buy buy RoundWheels ♪

♪ Go buy RoundWheels ♪

♪ Wheels sold separately ♪

♪ Roll RoundWheels ♪

♪ Roll roll RoundWheels ♪

♪ Roll RoundWheels ♪

♪ Roll roll RoundWheels ♪

(meow, barking)

- (cat and dog cars grunt) - (Professor groans)

- (clicking) - (wheels whir, clangs)

Good news, RoundWheels!

We're delivering a piece of replacement track to Saturn.

(crew cheering)

And everybody is going. All of us!

Yay!

Except one, since only six can fit in the shipmobile.

Well, I stayed behind last time, so--

I suggest Zoidberg.

- CREW: Second! - (Zoidberg groaning)

(clicking)

(inspirational music)

(clicking)

- (Bender grunting) - (plastic straining)

Should we test it out?

(all cheer)

♪ Go go RoundWheels ♪

♪ Buy buy RoundWheels ♪

♪ Go buy RoundWheels ♪

♪ Wheels sold separately ♪

♪ Roll RoundWheels! ♪

(jingle fades)

(sad music)

Why doesn't anybody like me?

You're depressed, you're depressing,

and you talk when we're trying to watch TV!

The high speed chase finally came to an end

- (beep) - when friction caused the cars

to gradually slow down. Morbo?

In local news, countless victims have died

after viewing a mysterious video circulating online.

Let's see some of that video.

- (mysterious noises, cacophony) - (cars honking)

- (scraping) - (garbled radio chatter, static)

The video is invariably followed

by an equally mysterious phone call.

Scientists say anyone who answers the call

will die tragically within hours.

(phone ringing)

Can you pause it?

I'm getting a call.

(overlapping yells)

- (beep) - Hello?

CALLER (through phone): Your car warranty has expired.

Press one now, whether or not you want to renew.

(beep)

(sting)

(dramatic music)

(wheels whirring)

(creak)

Yes, I'm here to pick up my extended warranty.

I have a 3:00 AM appointment.

(whirring)

(dramatic music)

- (chopping) - (Amy screaming)

- (clatter) - (dripping)

(dramatic music)

Have you seen Amy since that creepy video

and chilling phone call?

- (phone ringing) - No, but my phone's ringing.

- Maybe it's her. - (beep)

Yello? What?

I don't recognize the chilling voice.

- Put it on speakerphone. - (beep)

CALLER: ...am sorry to inform you

your car warranty has expired.

We don't want any!

What do they think, we're idiots?

(both laughing)

(sting)

(dramatic music)

(whirring)

(both screaming)

Some ancient horror is picking us off one by one,

starting with the most gullible.

Who will be next?

Hermes, quit frightening me while I'm on the phone.

(sting)

(tires squealing)

Goodbye, robot!

Wait! I have a desperate idea!

We'll race after Bender, and let him lead us

to the monster's den of terror!

Hurray! Road trip to the monster's den!

Except you, Zoidberg.

Someone has to stay behind to answer the phones.

(sad music)

(intense music)

Come on! We'll pick up speed on the downhill

since we have no motors!

(dramatic music)

BENDER: Woo! I'm doing loop-de-loops!

(panting) I'm not gonna make it!

Go on without me!

That was my plan.

(Professor yelling)

(thud)

I'm okay!

(grunt)

(wheels whirring, tires squeal)

Yes, I'm here for the free scam.

(dramatic music)

(Bender yelling)

(bouncing)

Hm... I'll have to drop it and limbo under that arm.

(popping)

(sneaky steel drum music)

(popping)

(menacing music)

Sweet Subaru of Timbuktu!

- It's a chop shop. - (clatter)

(sting)

Wh-Who are you?

(crescendo music)

It's me, Zoidberg.

Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid it was the villain.

I am the villain!

No. Villains have more charisma.

You're just boring.

No one ever included me.

So, I included all of you, why not?

Now, I have Fry's roof rack, Amy's bumper,

and, spoiler alert,

Leela's spoiler!

AMY: Help, we're trapped!

PROFESSOR: Inside Zoidberg!

I'm the gas tank, by the way.

And here's my latest acquisition.

Bender's shiny metal muffler!

(grunting)

(click)

BENDER (muffled): Bite my shiny metal...

Oh, forget it.

Now, I just need a piece of you, Hermes,

and we'll all be friends together.

- Forever! - (crank)

- (whirring) - Woo! Woo!

I don't need my oil changed!

(scream)

ZOIDBERG: Snap in Hermes' hood, and... done!

I'll never be alone again!

Oop! Oop, hang on.

I accidentally took off my mouth.

Let me just put that back onto--

(grunt)

- (crew cheering) - Let's hit the track, people!

(tires squealing)

(crash)

(sad music)

AMY: Don't worry. I bought the warranty!

♪ Go go RoundWheels ♪

(crew cheering, laughing)

♪ Go buy RoundWheels ♪

♪ Wheels sold separately ♪

♪ Roll RoundWheels! Roll roll-- ♪

NARRATOR: And now, back to our program.

(dramatic music)

- (gong) - (crumbling)

(echoing): The duel of the King of Space

versus the Fry of Earth

shall now commence!

Competitors, mount your lamassus!

(growling)

Here you go, boy.

(crunching)

(meek voice) Hm. Thanks. That was really good.

Space shall run red with the blood of the commoner.

Nice earrings, by the way.

(helmet rattling)

I volunteer to fight in Fry's place,

as his champion!

(crowd gasps)

The rule book does allow for a champion!

This isn't the rule book, by the way.

It's a takeout menu.

I'm gonna have the pad Thai.

You can't fight for me, Leela.

I'm fighting for you!

Fry, you're really bad at fighting.

- That's true. - (helmet rattling)

(light saber sound)

(dramatic music)

(light saber sound)

(clang)

Mm. Let the duel commence!

(snarling)

- Roar. - (galloping)

I can't look!

Oh, now I can.

(galloping)

(dramatic music)

- (slice) - (scream, groan)

(crowd gasping)

(belch)

(sniffing)

The king smells dead! Long live the king!

- (clang) - Yes!

We can marry at last, my love!

Sorry about murdering your father. (gasp)

(sting)

I, too, had a champion fight for me.

(light saber noise)

(sting)

LEELA: Oh, the prince!

(gasp) I-I killed my true love!

No, I'm fine. Oh, you mean that guy.

(Leela sobbing)

(loud wailing)

♪ Rubber ducks, rubber ducks ♪

♪ The perfect toy for bath time ♪

♪ Never put live ducks in your child's tub ♪

♪ 'Cause live ducks, live ducks will peck your child's eyes out ♪

♪ So, always choose rubber ducks when you are choosing ducks ♪

(dramatic music)

- (meowing, barking) - (rubber squeaking)

(splashing)

Boy, that was a really long delivery.

I thought we were gonna fall off the end of the water.

The water doesn't have an end, numb duck.

Haven't you ever seen a map?

Hm, I guess that looks pretty infinite.

I'm convinced.

Well, I'm not! I made this map,

and whole sections were based on old legends

and random hunches.

I propose a voyage of scientific exploration!

Okay.

(creak, splash)

(adventurous music)

To the edge of the water! If there is an edge.

And if not, an agonizing death with friends!

Make way for rubber ducklings.

- (squeak) - (grunt)

(quack)

(adventurous music)

(splashing)

Oy, how long have we been at sea?

- Always! - And how far have we traveled?

With no landmarks, it's hard to say.

There's a good chance we never moved at all. Fry,

check the spy glass.

(clicking)

(mystical music)

Land ho!

- What's land? - I don't know.

(dramatic music)

(pop)

(boinging)

ALL: Whee!

Yep. Mm-hmm.

(dramatic music)

Father, what is that unusual

piece of land floating toward us?

(gasp) It be invaders!

Take shelter in the fun-time beach house!

But, I see a stranger,

and his bill looks gentle and kind.

(romantic music)

(pop, squeak)

Look at his eyeballs! It's the scurvy!

(swimming)

What strange folk. Do you come in peace?

We're still deciding.

I don't trust these land wobblers.

Let's just trade our guns for tobacco

and get out of here.

Alright, rubber flockers.

Turn around and float back where you came from!

Never! Peck him until he falls down!

- (Professor quacking) - (Bender laughing)

Stop! Stop this madness!

Kind strangers, welcome to our land.

We call it land.

- (squeaking) - That's so interesting.

We call our land water.

Won't you join us for a turducky dinner?

Sure. What's in it?

(dramatic music)

My name's Fry. Is that your name, too?

No, I'm Leela. What are you doing?

- (both squeaking) - Trying to gaze into your eye.

I've never seen anyone like you.

I saw a fish once, though. It was cool.

(gentle music)

Oh, Fry. I'm falling head over heels in love with you.

Except I can't fall, and I don't have heels.

(kissing)

(dramatic music)

Have you gone land crazy, Fry!?

In our culture, interspecies love is forbidden!

Oh, yeah?

Well, in our culture,

we believe a woman's sexuality

is her own decision!

(stammering)

- Okay, then. - (both eating)

But I, as an individual,

strongly disagree with that view

and am deeply offended!

(all gasp)

This means war!

War? Well, we don't have that word,

but this definitely means peace-fighting!

Fry!

Leela Fry!

(dramatic music)

(pop)

SOLDIERS: Whee! Two, three, four.

Whee! Two, three...

- (yelling) - (quacking)

(spurting)

(yelling)

(scream)

- Rubber in the hole! - (cartoony plop, blast)

(whistling)

- (squeak) - (quack)

(chuckles) Oh, yes. (chuckles)

That tickles.

(scattered yelling)

And thus, with a final wobble,

I do fall down.

(gag)

(sad music)

(gasp) This is the end. All is lost.

No.

Our love is eternal.

It'll live on forever, even after it dies.

That's so stupid,

but also sweet. Like you.

Goodbye. (quack)

Goodbye. (gag)

(sad music)

(rustling)

(cracking)

(rustling)

(cluck)

(pop)

(babies cooing)

(babbling)

NARRATOR: Eggulons. Collect all 11!

And now, what's left of Futurama.

(zooming)

I'm sorry you killed the love of your life, Leela.

It must have been horrible for you,

the way your laser lance sliced him up like a watermelon.

It's okay, Fry.

I wasn't really in love with him.

I was under a spell.

- Really? A magic spell? - (beep)

No! A science spell!

- Oh... - Of course...

♪

BENDER: Whee! Woo! Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!

(grunt)

(concluding music)

♪